International Institute For Global Leadership
Issue #153* September 2014
Asheville, NC. USA
Raising Children Compassionately
By: Yieh Odette Gwain (Cameroon)
This book is focused on the methods employed in raising children. It compares the already established method of how parents are oriented towards raising their children; becoming the all-knowing parent that is supposed to teach the child what to do. This book seeks to explain how children can be involved in their up-bringing rather than make them mere recipients of their instructions. It also explains how parents can communicate with their children without necessarily bossing them or without the parent – child attitude like reducing them to children as if their opinions do not count they should merely execute the instructions they are given without any questions. The author also makes us see how beautiful a parent – child relationship can be if we actually understand the children and make them participate in their up-bringing.
Here are a few of my favorite key points:
As we parents seek to protect our autonomy, so do our children. I remember when I was growing up, when I was told to do something like when I was shouted at by my parents, I would do what they want me to do not as though I will do it at my own time and enjoy it. It just dawned on me as I was reading this book that this is exactly the same thing I am doing to my children not allow them take responsibility over their own actions. Just like what the author illustrates “Chore wars.” It’s true that there are chores assigned to each member of the family and if not executed on time it weighs on another person to do that job. Remind the child but not in a bossy way.
Good Cop/Bad Cop: This is a game that is often played in my house to see into it that the children accomplish their daily chores. At times their father plays the good cop while I play the bad cop. This in effect is another form of punishment vs reward. This works but then after reading this book I have just come to the realization that it is not a good way of training children. It is good to make them do the things they do because it is the right thing to do and not because they are waiting for a reward or are afraid of the whip.
Under certain circumstances, the use of corporal punishment is used in most Cameroonian schools to get school children to conform to the rules of the school. We understand that the author seeks to draw the line between the punitive use of force and the protective use of force. We think that punishment that obscures the reason for a particular action does little to sustainably change behavior. Hence, I find that the success of effective parenting as described by the author will depend on the parent’s ability to draw the line between the two. Looking back in days of our youth, we had a teacher in school whom we funnily called “Jean CAFÉ” who was very stern and corporal punishment was his thing. He always loved to punish children forgetting that punishing that child was not teaching that child the right way. There is a common saying that instead of teaching a child how to eat fish, teach that child how to catch fish so that he will not come back to you tomorrow requesting that you buy him fish again but will rather go fishing.
It is not like the author is completely against the use of child in referring to your off springs but the author I presume is against the dehumanizing use of the word child. It is common for a parent to say but he/she is just a child justifying maybe the stupid thing that the child has done. After reading this book I have realized that the word child should not be used in an insulting way.
What Our Students Are Saying
What Have You Learned? How Have You Changed?
Apart from the focus on changing my own life and the life of people around me the personal thing I have learned is that I need to change my own thinking to ensure that my circumstance change and the circumstance of the people around me. Personally I heard to unlearn so many things in my own life and have to learn so many things that enabled me to live life positively. Take the drivers sit in my own life and drive my life in the direction I want it to go and expect it to go despite the challenges on the road and the destruction I might be experiencing in this journey.
Through the IIGL program I learned the importance of investing in oneself, I learned challenges that I am struggling with internally and also the importance of reaching out to someone for help to go through the journey of self discovery since we are not island hence we have to relate with other people around us and work together with them. I am able to work with a therapist currently to build up myself esteem and solve some issues that I did not realize them as a challenge or limits towards my personal growth, but by reading some books they helped me see the different situations and behavior patterns that formed my habit and affected my self-esteem and become a limitation to my own success. Also working with a therapist is a great experience and a self-discovery experience that will transform me and prepare me to work towards my growth.
The biggest lessons I have learned through Level One and Two is that I am the author of my own life despite the situation and circumstance I was born in I have the power to direct and control my future, change my own circumstance, decide my destiny; since I have all the tools I need to become what I want to become and have all I want to have. Apart from the tools I have all the people I will ever require to usher me to my destiny hence I should always be ready to reach out to them, acquire the tools, and do something about everything. I also learned that circumstance should not define me and I should never view myself through the situation I am in but I should always view myself the way I envision myself to be and always work towards achieving that. Most of all I learned the biggest, most powerful tool I have in this life is my mind and if I can learn to conquer my own mind I can be able to conquer the world.
Most of all every challenge presents itself with opportunities and every problem offers solutions in it. So I should always focus on tapping into the opportunity and not focus and complain about the challenge and when everyone else sees a problem I should always look for the solution. For life is what you make it.
What Our Students Are Reading
Peace is the Way: Bringing War and Violence to an End
By: Deepak Chopra ($12.61)
This statement has never been more true. Now, Deepak Chopra expands on A. J. Muste’s insight, teaching us how to expand awareness, stop reacting out of fear, and reject war—one person at a time. As Dr. Chopra says, “Violence may be innate in human nature, but so is its opposite: love. The next stage of humanity, the leap we are poised to take, will be guided by the force of that love.”
Students In Action
IIGL National Coordinator a Badminton Champion
IIGL National Coordinator and Level Four student, Dennis Korbla Amego Penu(Ghana) reported that he started learning to playBadminton from his Dad (Ex-WO1 Paul Penu of blessed memory) at the age of 10, following him to the courts he developed around the various military barracks where we lived. Dennis said, “at the time, I least anticipated that this was going to lead me into the semi-serious business of playing badminton for my university and for Ghana at a continental games organized for All African Universities in Nairobi, Kenya in 2014.” It came to pass, with a gold medal and 2 silver medals in three separate events. On the side lines of these games however, he has not just picked up medals but has had some interesting (non-sporting) observations that he found worthy of commentary and sharing with networks and he hopes that you find them interesting and thought-provoking. You can email Dennis at firstname.lastname@example.org or review some of his writings on Facebook!
Valuable Resources for Personal & Planetary Transformation
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Level One Books Now Available as Free Audiobooks
One of the requests from the 2013 Annual Meeting held in Lagos, Nigeria was for students to have access to Level One and Two books as Audio books. Shortly after the meeting, N. Lindzee Lindholm (TN/USA), IIGL Vice President did the research and found a few free audio books for Level Two. Last month, another search was done, and six of the seven Level One books are now available on the internet free of charge in audio formats. For those Level One students who are interested, please contact Deb Rosen for more information at email@example.com.
Meet Our New Students
We are pleased to welcome one new active student this month. He is from Ghana.
Amemowato Philip Edem (Ghana)
Born on the 25th day of February 1993 into the Amemowoto family. I was christened the name Philip and a tribe name Edem. I am a Ghanaian. I am into a family of six; my mum, two girls and three boys of which I am the fourth born. I lost my dad at the age of five years, Mr. Emmanuel Amemowoto of blessed memories. My siblings are; Felix Veron, Pamela Cissie Amemowoto, Raymond and Marie Jeanne Mensah. I had my basic education in Accra-Ghana.
I have a lovely family who are religious and very supportive. Their love and motivation keeps me moving on day-by-day. I dream and hope to be able to close the educational bridge between the fortunate and the less fortunate in our continent especially Ghana (In the rural areas) and making education accessible to all in the coming years. In terms of interpersonal communication, I am responsive to my colleagues, I have high caliber communication skills, disciplined, organized and meticulous with good ethics and I am eager to help whenever possible.
I am good at team work, and a good team leader, able to consider and analyze different opinions, and take the lead when necessary. I am good at persuading others by creating relationships based on mutual trust and understanding. Some of my interests are meeting a vast network of young or experienced individuals and creating a suitable platform through cooperation and making the world a better place for this and the next generation to come. Another interest of mine is lending a helping hand to the poor and needy in our society.
Some of my favorite books I enjoy reading are “No Excuses, Eat That Frog;” by Brian Tracy. “Mentoring for Success,” by Albert and Comfort Ocran and the “Dreamer” by Olajire Olanlokun. Movies a few in the likes of “The International,” “Jack Reacher,” “Mad Buddies,” and “Fun with Dick and Jane.”
I took part in the “Tigo Reach for Change Project,” it was a project of which individuals in their various society will submit a proposal based on the problems facing them and possible remedies they can give to them as well.
I was elected as the vice president for the National Commission for Civic Education (NCCE) in the second cycle institution as well as speaking to colleagues about how to achieve academic success on various platforms in my school.
I was privileged to partake in the Life-Link Tertiary Model United Nation (LTMUN) in 2013; to mock what goes on in the United Nation. I also partook in the Springboard Roadshow to help in mentoring the individual and creating a business strategy plans in the same year. It was also to educate individuals on how to relate with clients in the business world.
I also enjoy listening to cool genre of music most especially country music as well as a bit of Reggae music from some artiste like Culture and Bob Marley. During my leisure time, I enjoy playing Table tennis, Computer games as well as Swimming at the beach with family and friends.
To view his complete profile, Click Here.
We had 14 students from 6 countries complete a total of 20 books in August. These students were from Ghana, Kenya, Nigeria, Rwanda, Togo and Uganda.
Amemowoto Philip Edem (Ghana)
* As A Man Thinketh
* Jonathan Livingston Seagull
Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)
* Be a People Person
Ann Perez Omenye (Kenya)
* Giant Steps
* The New Dynamics of Winning
Ayoade Anthony (Nigeria)
* Zero Limits
Mary Oghomena Ayideji (Nigeria)
* Success through a Positive Mental Attitude
Adeosun Oluwatosin Isaac (Nigeria)
* How to Win Friends and Influence People
Ocheja Linus Lawrence (Nigeria)
* Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Igwe O Matthew (Nigeria)
* Real Magic
Ndefo Chikanso Patricia (Nigeria)
* Keys to Success
Mutiu Damilola Samuel (Nigeria)
* Giant Steps
Anthony Rugigana (Rwanda)
* Keys to Success
* Success through a Positive Mental Attitude
Dakou Kofi Agbesi (Togo)
Juliette Engole (Uganda)
* Success through a Positive Mental Attitude
David Mwesigwa (Uganda)
* Success through a Positive Mental Attitude
Igwe O Matthew (Nigeria) completed Level One
7 in August
31 enrolled in 2014
20 in August
144 in 2014
9 in August
84 in 2014
Cost of books
$185.20 in August
$1,687.84 in 2014
You Make It Possible
We extend a special thanks to the following individuals and/or organizations who contributed to IIGL last month. Your ongoing support makes this work possible.
Deb Silver (Israel)
Wanda Gail Campbell (USA/AL)
DM Tilley (USA/AL)
Lynne Murguia (USA/AZ)
Corine Wilson (USA/FL)
Lily Ann (USA/GA)
Margie Tice (USA/HI)
Susan Akduman (USA/NC)
John Hornecker (USA/NC)
Michael Lightweaver (USA/NC)
Janis Thayer (USA/NC)
Janae & Barry Weinhold (USA/NC)
David Banner (USA/WI)
Deb Rosen (USA/WI)
Make A Difference
Dream Team 22
In January 2009 we launched a new idea which blends two previous endeavors: The Master Mind Group and the 22 Experiment. We are calling this Dream Team 22 and our goal is to have 220 people contributing $22 per month. We understand that money is energy and that to sustain and build IIGL we need a lot of people pouring their energy into this endeavor on a regular basis. We also know that not everyone can afford to commit $22 a month – especially our students, who live in countries with economies in which this amount can be equal to a weeks’ salary. So we are offering two options for those who wish to become a part of the Dream Team. One can commit to a $22 a month contribution or to spending 22 seconds each day holding the vision of IIGL becoming financially sustainable by the end of 2009.
Will you join the Dream Team and help us create an energetic foundation to support the transformational work of IIGL? You can really make a difference in the world by making a modest contribution of time or money. To make the $22 a month commitment or a one time donation, click the link below. To become a member of the Dream Team 22 by committing 22 second a day to help us hold the vision, contact Deb for details: firstname.lastname@example.org
Checks on US banks, payable to the International Institute For Global Leadership, can be mailed to P.O. Box 18909, Asheville, NC 28814 USA. Contributions may also be made by credit card by clicking the link below. Contributions are tax deductible under the 501 (c) 3 tax code of the United States Internal Revenue Service.
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