As A Man Thinketh
Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Truly as the introduction of his Book “AS A MAN THINKETH” James Allen although little known in the history of writing industry, one gets a clear understanding of human thoughts and life with respect of reasoning and I believe as stated the his book has partly touched millions of reading in the area of self empowerment including me.
The book as a man thinketh as divided in section, the first section ‘thought and Character’ clearly defines man way of life and the level of disciple one needs to put into making life what one wants to be, for instance it is known that life is like ridding a bicycle you donít fall of unless you stop peddling, what that means is that what ever seed one sow in his life so he/she reaps and the level of effort display in one thought will automatically bears the fruits of what was sold previously.
I perfectly agree with the writer by saying that the right choice and true application of thought, man ascends to the divine perfection and by the abuse and wrong application of thought he descends below the level of the beast, this clearly shows the grade of human character, life after reading the book of James Allen has reveal to me that what ever man does or what ever is done at a particular period clearly display in the outwards.
‘Man is always the master’ I perfectly agree because I realized that no matter the prison one is, and no matter what the situation or the challenge is no one can imprison the power of man imagination and this clearly shows that human are masters of their own, when you apply a little reasoning and positive thinking to whatever ahead of you, believe you me, you shall attain it.
I appreciate the opportunity you have given me and to requesting me to do assessment of the books I have read.
What is it that is common to all mankind and at the same time particular to each human existence? The search for happiness and the desire to overcome pain and suffering are common to all human beings and getting particular to each individual, this is a truth that can be registered by each and every human being.
The question now is what is the happiness to which the human being aspires? I see this happiness as whatever the human believes it to be, this statement is based on the fact that people orient themselves towards different ideas or image of happiness, in fact the ideal of happiness changes with peopleís historical, social and personal situation from this we conclude that human seek what they believe will make them happy and what they believe will keep suffering and pain at bay.
I could not agree more with James Allan when he said ‘A man mind may be likened to a garden, which be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild’ very true because when a garden is been cultivated by a gardener, a good gardener is required to be very committed and must develop strategic planning for the cultivation of the land and the products planted, if the gardener not committed to working in the garden, it mean the garden will cultivate among other things wild weeds which may eventually killed the good and money spent planted crops, this clearly explains human reasoning and thoughts, it clearly explain that the human brain and mind is such that whether attention is given to or not one brain or mind shall grow and shall have effects in human reason but the level of positive thinking and reasoning one puts in his thought, shows the outward of him, when evil thoughts entered into the minds of an individual, it goes to suggest that even behavior shall definitely be what may be displayed.
This analysis clearly goes to confirm the biblical statement that ‘by their fruits we shall no them.’
After carefully reading the book as a man thinketh, I realized that the world is changing at a dizzying pace, and people can no longer held on to the much of which they believed unquestioningly until now. The acceleration of events is generally instable due to our way of thinking, perception and people thoughts have limited our doing and clearly James Allan says, the level of thinking and reasoning can transform our thought and makes a new in our life.
As a global character for more and more problems comes to be understood, this is what James Allan maintain that ‘A strong man cannot help a weaker unless that weaker is willing to be helped’ there is an awareness that the work of those who desire a better world will be effectively only if they make the effort grow outwards from the environment where they already have some influence and so Allan went ahead to say ‘even the weaker man must become strong of himself, he must by his own effort, develop the strength which he admires in another.’
Permit me to also share with you how the book as help me revive the thinking of my colleague to issue, Samantha is a very close pal of mine, though we have not met before we have been communicating daily via emailing and chat on the internet. Samantha has a peculiar problem, she feels lonely, unattended to and shorned by her colleagues, her analysis of her life seems very worried and she kept looking inferior to herself, she could not achieve anything in life and she declares herself useless, I have tried as many times to change her level of thinking but all to no avail but after carefully reading the book as a man thinketh and preparing an abstract of it, I sent it to her and believe you me, she has a new way of life and her attitude has change to issue and currently in the planning to enter into the University
In conclusion of my analysis of the text from the book, I realized that when a person comes to the realization that schizophrenic individualism is a dead end, when they apply communicate what they are thinking and what they are doing to everyone.
When one understood the power of thinking positively, ones life and character changes
Jonathan Livingston Seagull written by Richard Bach
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey
I must first of all express my congratulations to the author of the book Jonathan Livingston Seagull for the manner of which he writes and relates the behavior of Jonathan Seagull to the level of Human thinking and human ability to reach a higher height
After carefully reading and critically analysis the content of the write up, one could clearly see the behavior of Jonathan Livingston Seagull as not just an ordinary Seagull but one with higher reason and knowing meaning to life
Part one of the story clearly describe the nature of seagulls and how they are fed upon relying on fish for food and the limitation of their lifestyle but with Jonathan Livingston Seagull in Richard Bach book clearly describe Jonathan as exception, a seagull who could not live no stone un turn, a seagull who would want to be ahead of his colleagues even at the expense of his life.
Jonathan ability to learn to fly and with all the discouragements from his family clearly shows how human world is, one could be so limited to the level of his reason and this clearly identify the importance of putting much effort in attaining a higher height.
Human being always want to maintain standard even if its does not necessary have to, for instance Jonathan Livingston Seagull knew very well that, seagulls never falter, never stall as quoted by Richard Bach ì To stall in the air is for them disgraced and it is dishonorî yet Jonathan Livingston unshamed, stretched his wings again in that trembling hard curve- slowing, slowing and stalling once more-was no ordinary bird, this clearly shows that he knew what he wants in life and even at the perils of his life, he was able to stall and never considers that as a defeat nor dishonor because like we all know life is like riding a bicycle, you donít stop moving until you stop peddling.
At times when we set targets for ourselves, we are discourage by close associates and even at times are made to understand from experience that, we are limited to a height of our life and that clears displays the character of Jonathan Livingston Seagull Mother and Father, we one is not careful you are carried away by amount of influence, what we consider in Africa as respect the elderly, Jonathan almost lost the achievement when he decided to obey the parents and stated thinking as an ordinary seagull.
Constant pressure and effort at pushing an agenda shall definitely rewards your efforts hence Jonathan’s level of achievement, he continuously practices on his speed because he wanted not only to know what he can do but became PRIMUS INTER PARES first among equals to attain such height in society.
Again the level of our achievements are discourage by the very people who we thought could honor our effort, now in the case of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, after achieving a world record of flying as such as fast speed, instead of honoring him in the mist of his colleagues to encourage him achieve more, he was discourage and disgrace at bring disgrace to the Seagull family, and one could clearly see the behavior of Jonathan, he became very disappointed and gave up in life but thank God for the life of Sullivan Fletch Seagulls for encouraging Jonathan once small in his mission to make the impossible possible
In life when we are discourage or we even lost all that we have, there should be some who might express concern and who shall be prepared to assist youregain your effort as Sullivan and Fletch did to Jonathan. “We are your brothers.” The words were strong and calm. “We’ve come to take you higher, to take you home.”
When you allowed yourself to be supported in attaining higher height you see every thing perfect and like Jonathan requested is his heaven?
When we see ourselves as an outcast, so shall we remain but when we thought in our rightful mind that we are not limited we shall move higher and higher in attainment of goals as in the case of Jonathan Livingston seagull
The Magic of Thinking Big
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey
The book “”The Magic of Thinking Big” is an essential book written to change personal life and enhance mental development as prescribed in chapters I did combined some of the chapters while assess others as they were
BELIEVE YOU CAN SUCCEED AND YOU WILL
The book Magic of thinking big written by the Professor David J Schwartz is worth reading and revealing ability of man to maintain the belief of owing what one ought to owe.
Believe you can succeed and you will, truthfully describe the level of man reason and ability to succeed, as described by the Doctor Professor, success means a lot to those who owes the vision of being successful, it means wonderful, positive, positive things, personal prosperity, fine homes, vacation, traveling, financial security just to mention but few, but one could not end the description of success without making reference to winning admiration, leadership, being looked up to by people in business and social life.
The above description of success clearly suggest what success owns to mankind, that’s only if one believed in attaining it just as the Bible mentioned, ‘faith can move mountains’ and further biblical studies supports the point with Hebrew 11:6 which states that without faith it is impossible to please God, I said brought this quotation in support of the point since it is believed that no one has ever seen God yet through faith, we believe he exist, therefore holding on to faith makes moving mountain very possible
The height of success depends on the level of discipline you put into attaining a dream as stated in the book written by Richard Bach in his book ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull’ in attaining success means you ought to go through most difficult but challenging way and like I did mentioned before the level of your success depends on the attitude you show towards a particular situation.
With the example implore by the writer Dr. David J Schwartz just as the young woman decided to enter into a sale agency to sell mobile house as a business, and the fact that she is faced with financial challenges and difficulties of initial funding or capital, and taking into consideration the discouragement given her by her financial consultant yet she kept the dream of becoming a successful mobile house agent and the end result was there for all to see, though she took the risk of being successful, and her attitude in believing she could succeed enable her to own her attain the dream.
Believe you can succeed and you will reminds me of how I assisted my colleague to purchase same product he never thought of purchasing at the price, it all begun when my friend has his computer monitor blown as a result of electricity interruption, he has no choice than to purchase another one, we earlier went to accessory shop for a window shopping, and the quotation per a slightly used computer monitor was about US$180, he became so depressed since he never has such a money to purchase the slightly used one, but I kept the faith and develop my mind of owing a new computer within three days, on the third day, we went to the same shop we have visited three days earlier but this time I led the negotiation and told the vendor that we shall purchase the brand new monitor as a cost of US100 and believe you me, he just took the money and the monitor was given to us, that the kind of spirit we entreat every individual to own towards attaining a dream desire.
CURE YOURSELF OF THE FEAR OF FAILURE
Indeed studies have proven that a person’s attitude to a problem determines the level of management one ought to give to a situation.
As an example used by the write Professor David J Schwartz as he maintain that thinking you will fail, shall reward failure to you and perfectly so as it is therefore important that we all put up a positive attitude to our way of thinking as mention in his book ‘As a man thinketh’ by James Allen ‘as a man thinking in his heart, so is he, so is the blossom of thought, and joy and suffering are its fruits.’
Reading the book magic of thinking big and doing comparative analysis of the books reveal a lot of ways of how one could cure its fear of failure and march on in victory
As indicated previously, the body is the servant of the mind, it obeys the operations of the mind, whether they are deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty and this clearly goes to support the argument that the level of attitude you displayed toward sickness determines the level of length for recovery and I could not agree more with David J Schwartz when refute that the more you mention your health problems the longer it takes to recover.
And it is worth mentioning again from James Allen book as a man thinketh that strong pure, and happy thought build up the body in the vigor and grace. The body is a delicate and plastic instrument, which responds readily to the thoughts of which it is impressed, and habits of thought will produce their own effects, good or bad upon it.
At times it is sad when people starts linking their problems to genetic for instance a womanizer is quick to tell you how its has been part of their family recounting how his/her great grand father married 10 women and how his grand father married 8 women like wise his father who currently has 6 women so to him there is noting wrong being a womanizer, such thinking clearly goes to suggest the attitude to failure and accepting as it is.
BUILD CONFIDNECE AND DESTROYE FEAR
Building confidence and destroying fear is a must for all to succeed in life, now as illustrated by the writer, Fear is real and must be recognized it exist before its conquering.
Indeed most fear today are as a result of tension, worry, embarrassment, panic and neglects, perception of others and I could not agree more with Dr. Schwartz when he said ‘simply knowing the breeding grounds of fear doesn’t cure fear.’
To set an example of destroying fear and replace it with confidence is worth using the Ghana Football Association and our National soccer teams as a case study, over the years the Ghanaian teams has suffered enormous defeat at the hands of the North African countries, we have almost lost every other football match played with the Northern African teams be it continental, or local let along the club level, the north Africans have put great fear in us and because we have also accepted that we are always losers each time we meet is have affected out attitude to football especially when it comes to international soccer.
Accra Hearts of Oak, the lead champions from the local league in Ghana after emerging league leaders developed the attitude of wining the continental cup as well as the super cup, in spite of the bluff by the northern Africans, with determined spirit and the change of attitude towards the north Africans, Accra Hearts of Oak become victorious at the 2002 Champions league after beating their North African counterparts by 2:1 and went ahead to beat the Raja Casablanca of Morocco to lift the Super Champions league, hence forth every Ghanaian team beats any north African team they meet, you see because they destroy the fear, they were able to conquer and invade the most fearful countries as far as football is concern in Africa.
It is a fact that action cures fear, when you put your thoughts and plans into action, success is attain and fear is defeated, it is always important to build confidence in what ever you do for fear to be conquered
THINK AND DREAM CREATIVITY
I could not agree more with the author of the book ‘the magic of thinking big’ when he said creativity thinking is simply finding new, improved ways of doing things.
In fact you it is true you ought not to be a scientist, engineer nor artisan to think creativity but as stated deciding to even further your education is creative thinking and personally deciding to be enrolled at the International Leadership of Global Institute (IIGI) is creative thinking because I own the dream of enhancing my mental development and change my attitude of looking at issues more importantly to enable own visions of becoming a renowned peace builder on the African continent.
In his presentation the writer/author of the book used an example of how to eliminate jail from the society and brain quiz his students, but the level of their reason clearly gives the impression that, the students at the initial stage were thinking ordinary until he insisted they should think beyond the ordinary which eventually brought the answers he wanted.
In fact it is true that believing something can be done paves way for to succeed enables me to recount my experience when I was completing my Diploma in Microcomputer Technology from the City and Guilds of London Institute UK, it all begun when the institute issue a circular on the deadline of registration for the exams, I could not raised the money involved and became very worried, my own family became sad so as my mother (may she rest in peace) but I kept the vision and the hope of raising the monies at all cost, on the day of registration dateline I went to the director of the institute and told him my problem and to my amazement he ought to pay all the bills for me to enable me write the exams and lo and behold when the result came I passed with distinction but I know all this happened because of my thinking creatively by not letting the dream die.
Developing a creative thinking by a technical team of a football team shall enable their side win over their opponents
YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE
Of course you can’t be what you are not, if you own the dream of becoming a failure, yes you shall fail while thinking of succeeding in life means success opportunities shall be opened at your door steps.
Thoughts and characters are what make you what think you are, Character can only manifest and discover itself through environment and circumstance.
All that man achieves in life and all that he fails to achieve is as a direct result of his own thought, thinking positively can reward good success in ones life.
Believing in your heart and supporting it with action shall reveal the secret steps towards achieving the greater success one ought to attain. Just as he mentioned in his book, ‘as a man thinketh’ by James Allen, the dreamers are the savior of the world, as the visible world is sustained by the invisible, so man though all the troubles and trails as well as sins and sordid vocation, are moved by the beautiful vision of the solidarity of dreamers, when you think you are no body and looked down on yourself, and harbor the spirit of failure around and within you, and again as James Allen mentioned, ‘A man mind may be likened to a garden, which may intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it may and will bring forth, if no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.’
The success of your life and job depends entirely on you, and the degree of effort you put into it therefore shall reward you success, I urge all reading these reviewing I’m doing on this topic to give their best at all times, be prepared to work for long hours if necessary to ensure that not only is the job done, but that its done well.
Now taking into factor the character and the nature successful people looks at issue, the own the spirit of every thing is possible whereas a failure always want to find excuses as to why he thinks he will fail and lo and behold they fail in the end.
HOW TO THINK BIG
Thinking big should be a stepping stone to growth and success like the old adage goes, people with big brain thinks about ideas, whereas people with middle brain thinks of event likewise those with smaller brains thinks about people.
Doing a study analysis of the book written by James Allen ‘as a man thinketh’ and that of professor David J Schwartz ‘the magic of thinking big’ gives clear understanding as to the nature and way of individual thinking towards issues and therefore suggests that we ought to think positively of ourselves even at the expense of the challenges ahead of us, for instance it is worth mentioning that as a human being of power, intelligent an love, and the Lord of his own thoughts, man holds the key to every situation, and contain within himself the transforming and regenerative agency by which he may make himself what he wants. In fact I have enhance my thinking after reading this two great books and I enjoy reading them the more because it has regenerate my ability to think big and continues to protect and developed my mental faculty to hold the dream as man can find every thing commit with his being, if he will deep down into the mine of his soul that he is the maker of his character. The molder of his life and the builder of his destiny, he may unerringly prove, if he will watch, control and alter his thoughts, tracing the effort upon himself, upon others and upon his life and circumstance.
I love this statement because it reveals that in planning towards attainment of success we ought to start thinking big and the level of your self control, thought and character sustain you up as it takes character to sustain a successful person.
In conclusion I shall suggest that, in thinking big one ought to watch is words as they may become is action, and again ought to watch his action as it may become his habit and likewise should one watch is habit as it may become his character and above all one ought to watch his character as it may become his destiny
MANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT – GO FIRST CLASS
Managing your environment and going first class suggest that one ought to developed his mental way of reasoning and by developing the mind as a way of positive thinking just as Professor David J Schwartz analysis in his book ‘magic of thinking big’ that mind is an amazing mechanism, making it work one way can carry you forward to outstanding success whereas the same mind operating in different manner can provide a total failure.
Man’s level of reason and successful plan is also associated with the environment one lives in, for instance when you limit your thinking to normalcy and developed its okay attitude, you shall remain as such whereas one who want more like olive twist and holding on to it shall indeed get more and becomes successful
As I always make reference to his book ‘as a man thinketh’ by James Allen he said ‘in all human affairs there are efforts and there are results, the strength of the effort is the measure of the result. Gift, power, material, intellectual and spiritual possessions are fruits of efforts.’
Vision that glorify in your mind, the ideal that you embrace in your heart, shall be exactly be available us you wanted.
Steps one of the authors view on recondition yourself for success and taking readers memory back to the issue of childhood days clearly brings to mind how as young we have put forward plans as to what we hope to become in future, though very few have been able to attain a host number fail to materialized all because we refuse to think positively to the vision we own.
But it also goes to suggest that in attaining a particular achievement you must go through up and downs as in the case of Jonathan Livingston Seagull in Richard Bach book.
As the writer used illustrations of groups one, two an three to determine the level of people reaction to issue and how persons attitude are displayed toward a goal, for instance he mentioned that group one are those who surrenders completely to a dream and vision while group too surrenders partially towards a dream whereas group three would never surrender
Sure I’m in agreement with Doctor David when he mentioned that we ought to developed a defense against people who want to convince us that we can’t do it like Jonathan Livingston Seagull parents did to him.
How do we develop these senses of thinking big and becoming successful? It all bores down on us as individuals and as a group to flock with people who thinks right an have positive attitude toward handling of situations, those who see problems as a challenge and nothing else
Behaving as if you know everything can also lead to failure therefore it is important to seek advice from people who know or have ideas of knowledge of issues.
TURNING DEFEAT INTO VICTORY
Defeat as you might all known and would agreed with me is a mechanism that limits one’s ability to progress in life and a tool of failure, defeat is all about given up in life and becoming a failure, living hopeless life.
Defeat growths in human thinking based on the fact of the character and attitude we display towards holding a vision and making our plans and dream workable, as part of human race, one who experience defeat one way or the other put that does not permit you to be carried or brought down by the fruits of defeat, like the saying goes, life is like riding a bicycle, you don’t stop moving until you stop peddling it. Therefore when defeat comes you way, your ability to transform it shall determine the level of success you shall attain.
The fruits of defeat include, lazy, I cant do attitude, procrastination, I don’t care, just to name but few but the fruits of success and victory is its no problem, we shall finish in no time, I’m confident I can succeed.
Turning defeat into victory means you ought to develop a positive attitude to defeat, the fact that one is defeated in his life means its all over, no you could transform and carefully identify the purpose of the failure and worked on it to push you to the attainment of the victory as you may wanted.
Limiting your thought and thinking to I cant do it and finding reasons why you can’t do it will automatically lead you to failure and defeat.
In life you must own the attitude of being stranger to failure which of course does not come on a silver platter but one ought to work toward it by believing in your heart that every thing is possible, once others have done it you can do likewise.
Permit me to share my experience on how I turned defeat into success, I had a problem with my fiance’ who is living in the United Kingdom, for no apparent reason she started seeing another man, I became very disappointed and all my colleagues started laughing at me, calling me a failure because some guy has managed to take my lady from me, I became a laughing stock in town and every where I go people talk about it, but personally I hold a different attitude to the problem and I never saw it as a defeat, thought I realized I was loosing the lady to another man for no reason, I took it as a challenge than a defeat or a problem and this was the letter I wrote to myself as a way to taking heart and overcoming the defeat.
Many people would experience emotional emergency at least once in their relationship with others. Many would have their heart broken in the process while others would be confused, feel harassed and depressed for no apparent reason, he broke up with you and begin seeing another person. You try your very best to find out why he has suddenly lost interest in you but he rebuffs you.
You spend sleepless night trying to analysis why he left you, is it because of your poor looks? Are you too fat\thin? What went wrong? Did your educational background scare him? Why? Why? Why?
Quit analysis his behavior or criticizing yourself, this obviously isn’t going to bring him back to you, beside a guy who does not think much about your feeling and walk out on you is not worth losing over instead of brooding over what you might have done wrong, focus on your best qualities, afterall does it not take two people to make a relationship work? Go out with friends who make you feel good about yourself, use the period to do things you love doing remember the visit of pools, or other interesting places you love going, get out and book appointment and start visiting those places with colleagues.
The more you concentrate on what you love and enjoy doing, the less time you will spend brooding over the ifs and whys.
You remember the good times you had together and you wonder if you would ever find another man like him? What if no man ever proposed to you? Can you ever fall in love again after what he did to you? Can your emotion be healed?
Admittedly, its not easy to deal with broken relationship no matter who asked for the break, breaking up can be a painful decision. How to get over the relationship is not to pretend he never matters to you. Accept that he has play on important in your life and give yourself sometime to grieve over the broken relationship also talk about what happened to a close friend or any relative who will listen to you. Don’t let the period of releasing tension drag on. Get over it and move on, do the things you love doing and go out with those people who make you feel good with time you will get over such break-up blues and who knows Mrs. Right may just be around the corner.
It is normal for absence to make the heart grow fonder but remember you broke up for a reason, write down your diary as remember all the reasons you asked for a break and be honest about it. When you are through with the list, it would be crystal clear to you why you could never have stayed in that relationship. Although remembering some of the good times you both share may be natural try to be realistic for if the two of get together again, in no time you would be scrambling out again.
Put all that reminds you of him into your relationship relic’s box and create room in your heart for something new and exciting.
After critically reading the letter I wrote to myself, I became encourage and took the challenge up and developed my thinking and thought to another level and now I have been vindicated in my approach, that was the level I turn what is suppose to be a defeat into victory.
In turning a defeat into victory, its all about attitude to a problem and I believe case study shall enable you to do likewise
Before ending this topic one could make reference to the point raised by the author as a quick review of how to turn defeat into success. Study setback to pave way to success Have the course to be your own constructive critic Stop blaming luck Blend persistence with experimentation Remember, there is a good side of every situation.
Conclusion
In conclusion of the study of reading the book “The magic of thinking big” by Professor David J Schwartz has opened my mind to think extra ordinary and taking steps to put into use the text from the book.
Change Your Mind And Change Your Life
Assessment By Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Reading of the Book Change your mind and change your life is another noble but revealing and transforming book for the purpose of human development.
It’s really challenging after reading such a wonderful writing from the two most renowned writers Gerald and Diane
Clearly reading the book reveals that your destiny will be shaped by the vision in your heart just as what you see in your spirit is what you get in material reality.
It’s really true, that whatever you hear affects what you see, becomes what you get.
But agreeing perfectly with the writers that your attitude determines your climb, it open or shut doors for you.
Please permit me to do the assessment of these books according to the parts and chapters
PART I
CHAPTER I
WHAT IS ATTITUDINAL HEALING?
I could not agree more with the writers when they said attitudinal healing involves correcting our misperception and removing the inner obstacles to experiencing peace.
Indeed attitudinal healing is all about belief and the choice of belief one holds in his mind clear determines the level of opportunities available. Separation always creates anarchy, troubles, disharmony, and crises hence the agreement with the writers that the purpose of communication in attitudinal healing is joining and loving. I could not end this topic without re emphasis the definition by the writers on attitudinal healing; attitudinal healing is a retraining of the mind and an opening of the heart, removing whatever blocks love’s presence. If attitudinal healing is the process of letting go painful and fearful attitudes, it’s really challenging that we all continue to have a positive thoughts to our healing strategies so that by the power positive attitudes we could raise the standard height we all ought to reach.
Principles of attitudinal healing
It’s really interesting the analysis made by both writers on the twelve (12) principles of attitudinal healing, I must at this pint express my heartfelt appreciation for the good work the Center for the Attitudinal healing in Tiburon, California is doing
a) The Essence of our being is Love: its really a fact that the good old Bible even mentioned that God so loved the world to the extent that he even sacrifice his only begotten Son in other for the world to be save as seen in John 3:16
b) Healing inner peace: healing is indeed letting go of fear, it is also a fact that when fear occupies our mind, our thoughts are polluted and series of troubles engulf our mind as mention in his book as a man thinketh by James Allen “ A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind. Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires so may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master- gardener of his soul, the director of his life. He also reveals, within himself, the flaws of thought, and understands, with ever- increasing accuracy, how the thought-forces and mind elements operate in the shaping of character, circumstances, and destiny”
c) Giving and receiving are the same: like the Bible even says, its better to give than to receive as when you give willingly you shall automatically received rewards in returns without realizing it and both writers could not has said it better when they said, giving and receiving are the same, it is therefore a challenge for all of us to give as and when necessary and believe in our minds that giving is as same as receiving.
d) Letting go of the Past & Future: is also important with development of human kind, when we keep referring with our past, we are discourage by and limited with our thoughts, with he behaviour of Jonathan Livingston Seagull in Richard Beech Book, while we keep referring and holding fear of our past mistake also limits our ability to risk in other to succeed, letting go our past mistake and focusing on what is ahead of us shall enable us to develop a positive attitude one could not end this chapter without emphasizing on : the various principles of attitudinal healings as suggested by the writers and urge all to find the book and read in details as when we clearly followed the basic principles it shall enables us develop a positive attitude
CHAPTER 2
ATTITUDE ABOUT LIVING AND DYING
As Jerry and Diane express their experience with the people they are working on “Perhaps our greatest underlying for, which permeates all our problems, is the fear of death and separation” From the experiences shared in the book by both writers on the stories of people who consulted the center for various reasons has reveal people attitude towards living and dying. In one instance, it was evident that I have almost given up entirely when I lost my mother; I could not have the will to forgive nature and God for taking such a wonderful person from me. My attitude towards the grief of dying was very high that I even refuse to talk to anyone or see anyone around me during the early stages of the death but until I begun developing and accepting the challenge of mourning and grief of pain, I change my perception about the dead, and its now seems very normal where I also encourage others facing similar problems to accept the difficulties but must keep on moving in spite of the great lost.
As looked at the experience shared by renowned writers like Pasty Robinson, Cheryl Daniels, Sharon Par-Tagler, Meg Harmon, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and its even more interesting when Sharon emphasized how important it is to be completely honest at all time and to not disguise our thoughts and feelings, also when Pasty Robison shared the experience of Joe Baucer who died of a brain tumor. In order for our attitude of dying and living we must see beyond the physical body as elaborated by both writers, Love is no separation, if so then its means we communicate more in spirit than physically. In conclusion of this chapter, it is therefore important for us to know that there is another way of looking of death other than believing that it is the end of life.
CHAPTER 3
THE POWER OF ATTITUDES IN HEALTH
“Perhaps true health has more to do with listening with unconditional love than with trying to fix people up” we all have to accept the fact that we all are all living in an environment where people don’t take responsibility of their environmental responsibility and has brought a lot of ill health, but for the purpose of this book, as a reference to the book as a man thinketh by James Allen, The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.
Disease and health, like circumstances, are rooted in thought. Sickly thoughts will express themselves through a sickly body. Thoughts of fear have been known to kill a man as speedily as a bullet and they are continually killing thousands of people just as surely though less rapidly. The people who live in fear of disease are the people who get it. Anxiety quickly demoralizes the whole body, and lays it open to the entrance of disease; while impure thoughts, even if not physically indulged, will sooner shatter the nervous system.
Strong pure, and happy thoughts build up the body in vigor and grace. The body is a delicate and plastic instrument, which responds readily to the thoughts by which it is impressed, and habits of thought will produce their own effects, good or bad, upon it. It is therefore important that we have all a positive attitude towards our health in other for us to receive the healing we wanted. Using the experience of the successful photographer, whom Jerry call Keith, as his story contains an important healing about the ways that our holding of attitude, he holds a lot of pain and hatred which never helped him but rather destroyed his well-being until he realized the need for change of attitude which led him well.
As indicated in the book by Jerry and Diane, Guilt and Fear plays a very negative role in causing havoc with our emotional lives and like Jerry, a lot of people could have the chance of changing their thoughts and attitudes and like I do always to end this topic, I will also like to remind you that, health is inner peace and that healing is letting go of fear.
CHAPTER 4
HEALING ATTITUDE IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS
“When we truly want to have peaceful relationship, we will stop telling other people what to do and we will practice love and forgiveness” The purpose of relationship is to have a good understanding, harmony, peace and above all show love among those we relate to. And base on the assumption analysis made by both writers the very purpose/reason we have so many relationship problem is that we do not fully understand the purpose. Building good relationship as important as any other thing in our lives, because without building effective relationship and good neighborliness, mean no peace and love.
For instance it’s a known fact that, the greatness of concept and greatness of living are born in the atmosphere of Association, what you relate to is what you become, therefore developing a positive attitude in our relationships shall go a long way in helping us make a difference in our lives. It is also evident that relationships are all about love and joining instead of separation. For instance the Bible made us to understand that Jesus Christ is God, as he mentioned in John 10:30 “I and my Father are one”
It therefore goes to suggest that when we develop a good and beautiful relationship with our neighbours, we shall all become in our neighbourhood. To buttress the points made earlier on, it is said a man shall live is family and joined a woman who would intend become one in spirit, spiritually relationships is about joining, when we develop a positive attitude towards our relationships there is no way we could separate from each other. As Jerry and Diane put it, main reason relationships fails/become difficult in our lives is our attachment to fear. Indeed it plays a main role of sabotaging any hope of experiencing love or intimacy.
It is also true as the writers mentioned in the book, we at times hates people we meet for the very first time of our lives, such character or lifestyle bring nothing but jealousy, separation, agitation, anger, disharmony and even violence but we ought to quickly let go this negative attitude in other for us to move on to build a perfect and mutual relationship in our minds. Therefore we must all try to let go our self-condemnations but rather join with others instead of separating.
PART II- CHANGE YOUR LIFE
CHAPTER 5
TEACH ONLY LOVE-THE GOLDEN RULE OF PARENTING
“Newborn infants are magnificent teachers of unconditional love because they make no judgment on their parents, accepting them perfectly, just as they are” The creation of the universe was based on love, the love of God was so high that he even gave man dominion over everything on earth, the love of God was so perfect that even when man sinned against him he kept coming closer to man even at the expense of sacrificing his only begotten son to die in other for the world to be saved, which love can be compared to these? The Bible went further to say the greatest gift to have is love as he describes love as the greatest of all the commandments.
As shared in the book to us by the writers of the experience of Margie and Ed, the sort of love they express towards their families, showing parental love is always important because it all about sharing, giving, loving and above all good control and monitoring of children activities.
When children understand and appreciate parental love, they are almost always prepared to share their problems and their worries with you. It is therefore important to remind all reading this assessment I have made of the book “ change your mind and change your life” that like Margie and Ed, we have to be as consistent as we can in demonstrating and teaching trust, honesty, clarity, tolerance, faith and open-mindedness. Remember faith is necessary to obtain what vision has in store and your attitude determines your climb, it opens or shut doors for you.
It is therefore important in parenting not to hide any secrets from ourselves or others and to allow ourselves to be venerable, love and forgiveness. It is also important to mentioned in my assessment how some parents badly treat their children, when children really realised they lack what we call parental love, they result to all sort of behaviours, and ending up becoming problematic to society.
There is therefore the need to emphasising the steps for breaking generational chains of unhealthy behaviour in our society, we first of all have to discover, explore, bring up old emotions, expression, recognised new choices, and choose once again.
In conclusion of this chapter, I will suggest we all express unconditional love to all.
CHAPTER 6
EDUCATION- WE TEACH WHAT WE WANT TO LEARN
“Remember always that what you believe, you will teach” assessing this topic places much emphasis on education and its important towards attitudinal healing, education is describe as life itself my section of society but it is also relevant for a new curriculum to be developed by teachers/instructors in their classrooms to help in alleviating the fear of the students.
It is important that instructed help weak students to be encourage and be given unconditional love to enable them catch up with their colleagues who might be head of them, it is a interesting agreeing with the writers that the highest purpose of life is not to perform our skills but how to listen, cared for and love others. It went on to express how we can with others peacefully live. Experience shared by Dr. Janice E Laine and Allison and Marilyn on how they have helped in transforming negative perception of their students to a positive growth.
It is therefore important for lectures and teachers as well as instructors to cooperate and express love in their classroom as described by the writers, when the educational environment expresses love and peaceful situations, students contributes very effectively towards class discuss and easy to approach lectures for further instruction, competition will automatically diminished from the class and be replace with love and cohesion. The attitude displayed by Allison and Marilyn buttress the point that the attitude determines your climb, it open or shut doors for you.
CHAPTER 7
BODY ATTITUDES
“The body is endangered by the mind that hurts itself” Our attitude towards our body is also vital to be looked at in this assessment, seeing our bodies as temporary vehicle for bring about journey, through the extension of love, when we uses spiritual vision as a way of seeing, it is indeed true that our bodies remain part of us but there is therefore the need for us not to attach much priorities to our body as we have been made away by the Bible that though we live in this world we are not of the world, therefore it is not our responsibility to conform to the things of the world but rather transform our thinking to enable us reach the height of life, therefore attaching outermost importance to your body limits your understanding or your thought of seeing your body as a temporary vehicle on this earth.
The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.
Men will continue to have impure and poisoned blood, so long as they propagate unclean thoughts. Out of a clean heart come a clean life and a clean body. Out of a defiled mind proceed a defiled life and a corrupt body. Thought is the fount of action, life and manifestation; make the fountain pure, and all will be pure.
If you would perfect your body, guard your mind. If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. Thoughts of malice, envy, and disappointment, despondency, rob the body of its health and grace. A sour face does not come by chance; it is made by sour thoughts. Wrinkles that mar are drawn by folly, passion, pride. We therefore ought not to attack our body by having condemning thoughts about ourselves or others.
CHAPTER 8
ATTITUDE TOWARDS SPORTS
“No longer consciousness of my movement, I discovered a new unity with nature, I have found new source of power and beauty I never dream existed”
I must say reading the chapter of attitude towards sports becomes more and more interesting as competence as been compared to competition, there has been a paradigm shift of the thought that sports is meant for unity and fun but rather the competitive nature of it has rather turn the game into more commercial than social gathering.
It is therefore important to note that it takes competence to become victorious as the degree of discipline you exercise is determined the level of success you can achieve or maintain. To develop a positive attitude towards sports it shall continue to remind us of how much we shall as human being, even when we are rooting for different teams, in fact positive attitude towards sports also goes a long way to release tension that have been stored in our bodies as a result of the pressure of day-to-day living.
As a team/as an individual changing your mind of failure, and letting go of all your fear becomes imperative if we want to participate in sports and enjoy the experience and that clearly shown by the families of Wally Haas
It is also important to make reference to the stories shared by Angela Dracott and the famous Tom Quin, though has both legs amputated, continued to develop a positive attitude towards the game he loves best, no wonder he has won several competition even at the expense of his physically challenged.
In conclusion, I must say, it is therefore important that whenever we are involved in sports, we should think also about cooperation and the ways it might bring joining and peace
CHAPTER 9
LAW- LETTING GO OF ATTITUDE AND DEFENSE
“Justice of the highest level occurs when every one is treated as equal and when everyone is loved and forgiven unconditionally”
it is often said, without the rule of law and fair administration of justice, human rights laws are no more than paper, but is that really the case? Does the court room always heal wounds? It is often known that the courtroom settlement rather bring hatred, conflict, disharmony, confusion and pain than bring peace and love to the losing team.
It is therefore worth appreciating the concept adopted by the centre of the attitudinal healing in introducing the principles of the center to those practicing law, such workshops shall continue to go a long way to help transform the orthodox way of practicing which bring pain instead of love and peace.
Reading and listening to experiences shared by Nancy Vieth, Phoebe Lauren, Judge James McNalley, Sara Maure, Grey Freidman, susan Passovoy in their attitude to practice after undergoing the study of the principles, they brought more joy and peace to their clients and in their courtrooms
CHAPTER 10
PREJUDICE AND DISCRIMINATION
“All prejudice and Discrimination is reversible because all of its come from fear”
it is a known fact, that discrimination attacks the spirit and has describe in the book, people who has been affected by the level of prejudice and discrimination is heavy to bear, for instance society does not only shuns you, but your entire family and colleague when you are diagnosed of HIV\AIDS, during the apartheid regime in South Africa, those with black skin were faced with series of racial challenges which discriminated them from their basic human right and there for leads to prejudice toward those who oppresses them but his that not therefore justify all levels of prejudice.
The truth should be a priority to enable us express unconditional love to forgive those who has offended our, and this clearly reminds me of the stated made my the famous and true son of Africa, His Excellency Nelson Mandela, the first black president of the republic of South Africa when upon his release from prison where he served for 27 years was asked by a journalist what he is going to do to those who committed all the atrocities against him and its really revealing knowing the answer to that question, he said “I shall not let the negative attitude within me direct my action, the past is gone and we all ought to bring peace and love to each other and no wonder in recent times, Former president of South Africa, F W Declark who committed a lot of inhumane act against the blacks in South Africa join the current president, Thabo Mbeki and Nelson Mandela to bid for the 2010 world cup to be hosted in South Africa.
CHAPTER 11
THE HEALING OF ATTITUDE IN BUSINESS – PART I
“Perhaps the most important business of any day is caring, loving, and being of service to others”
indeed the paradigm of the affects the business would has made everyone contain some level of fear within as even express by the writers in the book. Competition has broutht a lot of mistrust and fear among people in the business world, each day new strategies are developed to overcome their competitors.
But indeed as a unfolding a new vision towards business, there is a growing evidence that business leaders will be playing essential roles in discovering new ways to relate to the world and each other.
Of course, competition is seen as the name of the game, there is therefore the need for feeling of fear, anger and blame which indeed brings more separation instead of joining and harmony.
Expressing the stories shared by Sue Siegel on how to see love as essential in our being, making our business environment appreciable and loving. Everyone shall contribute their quota towards the growth of the business community.
One could not have end this chapter without making references on the replacement of competition in business with caring, cooperation and compassion and above all creativity.
CHAPTER 12
CHANGING ATTITUDE IN BUSINESS—PART II
“Letting go of previous boundaries, transforming competition into compassion and cooperation and supporting the unlimited growth of the individual may be same of the greatest challenges that face the business world” In a business environment where personal empowerment, mutual respect, and open communication exist, competition is reducing to cooperation.
Competition has brought a lot of separation than joining and cooperation but the new trend of seeing business as cooperation instead of competition has brought love, caring and above all co-existence in the business world.
Expressing the stories shared by John Robison, Melba Beals, Connie Boucher goes long way to encourage us to believe in ourselves, as the attitude of caring offer enable us to offer our service to others and enable us also to help in solving relational problems and above all, always looked for love for others instead of finding fault.
It is important to always remember to the basic guidelines in the new paradigm of the business environment.
CHAPTER 13
AGING – KEEPING THE CHILD’S HEART ALIVE WITHIN US
“In the long run we shape our lives and we shape others. The purpose never ends until we die and the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility” Fear is natural and each day we are confronted with issues which brings a lot of fear in us, indeed if you have confronted with issue of ageing or have come closer to somebody who is at the older age, you shall understand the fear of aging
Since much of our self-esteem is involved with what we do in the world, forced retirement can course us to feel that our lives are over. In thinking of the future, the fear of aging shall suddenly bring the feeling of depression.
Changing or holding a positive attitude towards aging and accepting in our minds that it’s not the body nor the skin but our mind of the issue of ageing we could live longer and contribute our quota until the maker calls us home.
Mary Cole, John Goodman experience shared on how to deal with old age goes a long way to help us develop a positive attitude towards aging and letting go of our fear of aging.
CHAPTER 14
ATTITUDE TOWARDS PEACE
“The ultimate course of peace or conflict is with us, not outside and each of us can do something about it” The Secretary–General of United Nations recently speaking to the Security Council on the issue of peace building in Africa said “Without peace, development is not possible, without development peace is not durable”
Experience throughout has proved that where peace is lacking or in any conflict situation, non combatants or innocent persons are not only victimized but are exploited, maimed and killed. To be more gender specific, threats to women, girls and youth are most common and horrifying.
In armed conflicts and in all settings where peace is absent-whether at home, in flight or internally-displaced and refugees camp for example women and girls are continually threatened by rape, domestic violence and abuse, exploitation, trafficking and sexual humiliation. Situations such as these you will agree are dangerous and disruptive for they deprive women and youth of security of themselves.
Peace and Development are interdependent and indivisible. Throughout the world, intellectual and spiritual energies are spent to end conflict, suffering and ruins of war which no nation is any longer immune. The 20th century has been perhaps the bloodiest in human history.
An estimated 250 wars have been fought with more than 110 millions kicked, innumerable wounded and approximately 50 million rendered refugee Whenever one group attempt to unfairly take advantage of another, dominate or suppress them, there is bound to be conflict and revolt. It is important that we understand and appreciate democracy, democracy is not just listening to only the things one want to hear, but willingness to listen to what one does not like, that is the only way to give meaning to balance and fairness to social discourse.
It is unfortunate sometimes even within circles that are considered to be enlightened, people do all manner of unorthodox things to distract the attention of others just because somebody might be expanding viewpoints or opinions that are contrary to other position on the matter.
While we are quick to applaud those who speak or resonate the opinion that we share or admire, we are swift to drown or clap down those whose viewpoints are at variance with our own. Tolerance requires that we show respect to those who oppose us, so that we can all achieve a new understanding of the human relation involved.
The greatest challenge to freedom of expression and tolerance is the creation of the facilitative environment that will encourage people not only to freely and openly speak out on issues but equally to be prepared to take full responsibility for the consequence of express they voluntarily make
Having peace of mind, it is purely a matter of letting go of our feeling and hope a positive attitude towards conflict situations
Peace is essential and we all own it a duty to maintain peace in our society.
Success Through Positive Mental Attitude
Assessed By Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Yet interesting reading another wonderful and challenging book like ‘Success through positive mental attitude’ after reading several famous books from renowned writers but completing my level one of the leadership studies is a plus to my mental development.
Success through positive mental attitude is not only unique and touching but given a provocative approach in turning the pages of the books.
Meeting the most important living person cannot be anyone else except ourselves, in fact experiences shared in the book by the writers enable us to compare the negative and positive mental attitudes and to know which of the two enable us to become who we want to become in life.
Of course talismans has power and no wonder the writers emphasis on the two powers associated with the use of talisman, thus saying the talisman which has two amazing powers which include the power to attract wealth, success, happiness and health and the power to repeal them
It is a known fact that life will send us the entire ladder we need to climb; pain, problems and what have you.
Reading the book Positive Mental Attitude has also enabled me to realize that attitude determines our climbs; it opens or shuts door for us.
Now the positive mental attitude exhibited by SB Fuller in transforming the poverty situations they were in is a clear challenge of man as true vision outlast the visionary and what we perceived we shall received.
The determines effort shown by Henry Ford in the development of the 8 cylinders of the now V-8 goes a long way to remind us that the level of determination you put on a thing determines what it releases to you. The greater the pressure, the greater the out put.
It is therefore important that you remember that the most important person living is you not also forgetting your mind is your talisman and of course we must not blame God for our lack of success but rather we ought to keep our mind on the things we want and off the things we don’t want.
Changing the world requires extra thinking and holding on to a positive attitudinal by exhibiting all the 17 success principles to the level of degree of discipline in determination of our success we can achieve or maintain.
Remember that progress will be made in the area of your life which you give individual attention, therefore be informed that life is inevitable influenced and shaped by the choice you made.
I could not agree more with the writers when they maintain that definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement, after carefully analyzing of the 17 principles of success, combination of those principles and using the talisman of positive mental attitude shall go along way to change the world we live in just as SB Fuller, Henry Ford just to mentioned by few effect changes in their life.
It is therefore worth mentioning that important of the 17 success principles indelibly in our memory, and identifying with image of success shall enable us effect the change in our world.
In everyone’s life, there are some sorts of cobwebs in our thinking which limits our strength to progress ahead of the challenges we face
Holding on to a positive mental attitude enables us to clear the cobwebs from our thinking and the factors analyses by the writer is a clear evidence of our ability to transform our association with living as the greatness of concept and greatness in living are born in the atmosphere of Association just as what we relates to is exactly what we become.
Experience shared by the writers of how the famous wise thinker Socrates relates to his wife, Xanthippe, in spite of all his wise thinking he still holds some negative cobwebs in his thinking, this clearly shows that the talisman of negative mental attitude was activated in their life to enable him keep a good and happy home in spite of all his thinking.
It is also important to re-emphasis that when faced with a problem that involved misunderstanding with other person, we must first start with ourselves.
In concluding this chapter, it is evident to mentioned that you can clear the mental cobwebs of negative passion, emotions, feelings, tendencies, prejudice, belief and habit by flipping your invisible talisman from Negative Mental Attitude to Positive Mental Attitude (NMA to PMA) respectively but it is also important to learn to separate facts from fictions
Exploring the power of the mind it is therefore a fact to make reference to the book ‘as a man thinketh’ by James Allen as he tackle the use of the mind when he describe the mind as been likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.
Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires so may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master- gardener of his soul, the director of his life. He also reveals, within himself, the flaws of thought, and understands, with ever- increasing accuracy, how the thought-forces and mind elements operate in the shaping of character, circumstances, and destinyî
Indeed the mind remains the most powerful tool that determines our thoughts; peace begins with positive thinking through the mind whereas wars begin with negative thinking through the same mind.
The ability of Bill McCall to continue to explore the power of his mind in the attainment of success he desire is another factor that confirms that, greater the pressure you put on a things determines the result it release on you.
It is worth remembering that the mind has two parts: the consciousness and sub-consciousness remember you can do all things if you have the positive mental attitude and believe you can.
Adding ingredient to already plan or develop ideas shall continue to make famous interventions as described in the book by the writers.
Negative mental attitude is indeed one of primary causes of failure and its indeed reading the experience used by the Writers when George M Cohan adding something more to the already develop compose song is all that he need to become fortune.
Other experiences shared by the writers of Thomas Edison and Graham Bell were some of the famous inventors who just added value or something more to become the world most famous inventors, not forgetting how the Wright brothers just added little of flaps to the plane to become complete and that is all they need to become famous.
The success partner identified by R.G Le Tourneau in his quest of making his dream a reality also reveals to us the realization of power of positive mental attitude even at challenging moments
Sitting for ideas as adopted by Dr. Elmer Gates is another strategic approach towards the development of our mental attitude. Indeed someone with determine heart shall continue to push irrespective of number of failures he encounters but in the end success shall definitely be theirs.
It is therefore important to establish the habit of learning fundamental principles but above all don’t be ashamed to be a failure as Christopher Columbus
Of course problems come our way in order to provoke is to use our positive mental attitude instead of the negative perception to life. Indeed it is our attitude that enables us to direct our thoughts and encourages us to control our emotions and regulate our attitude.
The effects displayed by Charles Ward in changing his negative mental attitude to Positive mental attitude effect and solving his perception reminds me of my personal encounter when for no reason my fiancee of whom we have dated for the last 10 years broke up, I could not believe it happened because I never did anything to her, I have remain a perfect fiancee so I kept asking myself why! Why!! Why!!! Until I got hooked to the change your mind and change your life by Dr Wayne W Dyer. Since then I have hold a positive attitude to situation and I’m forging ahead with my life
Glorious opportunities come our way each time and every moment but unless a positive mental attitude has been developed, else they may elope at you.
Hadn’t been a positive mental attitude, George Campbell mother who has kept the faith that one day her son shall be seeing, like George remains blind forever.
It is indeed important to re-emphasis that the person who mentally near sight is apt to overlook objects and possibilities that are distant.
Of course paying attention to the problem at hand and finding solution immediately is the positive mental attitude we are describing now.
Of those who have achieve greatness employ this secret of getting things done indeed holding ideas, funding strategies and keeping them is as not thinking of it at all. As emphasis in the book, action now is need when an idea crops in our mind
It is important to share my experience on how I turned the negative side of my talisman to the Positive mental attitude
It all began when I was sleeping and an idea of holding peace summit for young people in Africa to address situation of conflict and it related, I quickly doted the idea on paper and develop it comprehensively to meet the requirements of international donor organizations, when the issue of funding came, the negative side of my talisman activated but I quickly turned the thought to a positive mental attitude and contacted the said agencies and at the moment I’m being funded by such agencies
I therefore wish to let all be informed that the secret of getting things done is: Do it now! As long as you live, when the suggestion Do it now! Flashes from your sub consciousness to your consciousness mind to do that which you ought to do, immediately follow through with desirable action it is a habit that will make you an outstanding achiever
To sum the entire reading up, success though positive mental attitude has transformed my mental growth and immediately built my spirit to attain whatever I wanted in life.
Real Magic by Wayne W. Dyer
Assessed by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
It is worth interesting reading the book ìreal magicî written by the famous spiritual writer Wayne W Dyer.
After having the opportunity to read and review the assessments of the book written by Richard Bach ìJonathan Livingston Seagull, James Allen ìAs a man Thinkethî Dr. Schwartz ìthe magic of thinking bigî and change your mind and change your life by Gerald and Diane has really helped me in revealing my inner potential and to developed myself to the height I have always wanted to.
I was so grateful when I took the book written by Wayne W Dyer because the opportunity to listen to some of his audio messages on tape, therefore reading the booked the real magic I knew was going to be interesting and revealing.
I asked myself similar question mentioned in the book by the writer that how can something magic be real and how can a something real be describe as magic? But upon completing reading the book, I understood the importance of real magic as a miracle in our lives.
Part I Creating inner path for real magic
Chapter I A transcend view of magic and miracles
ìI have been all things unholy; if God can work through me, he can work through anyoneî- St. Francis of Assisi
as describe in the preamble by the writer and re quoting the words of St. Francis of Assisi enables us to know that everyone is important in this world and once God has used other he can use whoever he want and that is also a challenge to living that once others have been able to attain success, you can also attain yours.
But anytime I heard of St. Francis of Assisi it remains me of his prayer, ìLord makes me an instrument of your peaceî
It is obvious that real magic can be transformed when we transcend the paradox of real magic.
It is therefore important to know that magic exist for a purpose but as indicated in the book, real can never be considered as magic whereas magical things cannot be describe by any body as real, therefore what prompt the writer to choose such a heading for the book but clearly to see the real magic there is the need for us to reveal the miracle within us for us to see the reality of a magic, thinking beyond reasonable and the effort we put into transforming our thought clearly describe the reality of magic.
Magical things can become real when we made a analysis of the book ìchange of mind and change your lifeî by Gerald and Diane.
THREE PATHS TOWARDS ENLIGHTENMENT
Experience shared by the writers on the identification of the three paths towards enlightenment is real or its ability to change our lives. It is very true that noting happens by chance as everything has a purpose for its existence no wonder Godís in his own wisdom create opposing stuff to live in the same environment for the purpose of harmony and peace.
The coming on earth of Jesus Christ peace be on his name was for a specific purpose no wonder Harry Miller said that world is not to be put in order, the world is order incarnate. It is for us to put ourselves in unison with order but as Wayne W Dyer explain the steps in paths towards enlightenment through suffering. I could not agree more with the writer in the process of enlightenment through suffering.
It is important to know that in human development, one ought to under go experiences of pain in other to transcend in life.
There are sufferings that occurs during illness and that recedes with the advance of science, just as hunger can recede if the empire of justice advance. There are also the suffering that does not depends on the sickness of your body but yet derives from that sickness: if you are disabled, if you cannot see, if you cannot hear, you suffer, but though such suffering derives from your body or from the disease of your body, that suffering is of your mind.
There is yet another kind of suffering that does not recede even with the advance of science or with advance of justice. This type of suffering which belongs strictly to your mind retreats before faith, before joy in life, before love, you must exists in your own consciousness. You suffer because of you fear losing what you have, or because of what you have already lost or because of what you lack, or because you fear in general.
These, then are the great enemies of humanity, fear of sickness, fear of poverty, fear of death, fear of loneliness, all of these forms of suffering pertain in your mind, and all of them reveal your inner violence, the violence that is in your mind. Notice how that violence always stems from desire. The more violent a person is, the grosser that person desires
Enlightenment though outcome
After realizing the first path in life is through enlightenment by suffering, it is also important to continue further to enlighten yourself through the purpose of outcome.
Living a life of outcome is far superior to enlightenment at suffering. Thinking of outcome life shall enables us keep higher goals
The dreamers are the saviors of the world. As the visible world is sustained by the invisible, so men, through all their trials and sins and sordid vocations, are nourished by the beautiful visions of their solitary dreamers. Humanity cannot forget its dreamers; it cannot let their ideals fade and die; it lives in them; it knows them as the realities which it shall one day see and know.
He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it. Columbus cherished a vision of another world and he discovered it. Copernicus fostered the vision of a multiplicity of worlds and a wider universe, and he revealed it. Buddha beheld the vision of a spiritual world of stainless beauty and perfect peace, and he entered into it.
Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals. Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts. For out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built.
Enlightenment through purpose
It is important to re emphasis the phrase by Victor Frankl as he said ìnothing is more likely to help a person overcome or endure troubles than the consciousness of having a task in lifeî
Indeed everything in the universe has a purpose as I mentioned earlier that the purpose of Christ coming on earth is for the remission of our sins and the forgiveness of our sins. Therefore the purpose of life is important in our way of thinking.
The famous zen proverb which says ìWhen ever the student is ready, the teacher will appearî reminds me when I was assessing the book ìchange your mind and change your lifeî by Diane and Gerald that whenever we are ready to take initiatives, the necessary tools shall be made available to assist in making the initiative works, this goes to confirm that everything we would ever need has already been supplied by God; awaiting our discovery.
Seven 7 beliefs for manifesting real magic
Trying to do a brief analysis of the seven beliefs for manifesting real magic through miracles it is worth mentioning that there is an invisible but knowable life with you. Of course there is an inner awaking which pushes us to effect change in our minds.
The second belief which states that your thought are something that you control and they originate with you brings to light the writing by James Allen on thought and the mind as he maintain that, Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires so may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master- gardener of his soul, the director of his life. He also reveals, within himself, the flaws of thought, and understands, with ever- increasing accuracy, how the thought-forces and mind elements operate in the shaping of character, circumstances, and destiny.
Thought and character are one, and as character can only manifest and discover itself through environment and circumstance, the outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state. This does not mean that a man’s circumstances at any given time are an indication of his entire character, but that those circumstances are so intimately connected with some vital thought-element within himself that, for the time being, they are indispensable to his development.
There is no limit as the third belief of manifesting real magic goes also to confirm the story of Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach and its also goes to suggest that there is no light in our way of doing things accepting that everything is possible, you shall achieve whatever you ought to attain hence the old saying that the sky is the limit and once the sky has no limit, it means every other things one ought doing is achievable no wonder the Bible mentioned that with God all things are possible and everything can be done through Christ who strengthen us.
Your life has a purpose as the forth belief of manifesting real magic is evident of the fact that God has a purpose for bring us to the earth and a specific duties are assign to us, therefore thinking your life has no purpose limits your productivity, it is therefore important to know the effects of our thinking positively to determine the purpose of our wellbeing
You overcome weakness by leaving them behind as another belief of manifesting real magic is by letting go of our fear
Man is made or unmade by himself. In the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself. He also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascends to the divine perfection. By the abuse and wrong application of thought he descends below the level of the beast. Between these two extremes are all the grade of character and man is their maker and master.
Man is always the master, even in his weakest and most abandoned state. But in his weakness and degradation he is foolish master who misgoverns his “household.” When he begins to reflect upon his condition and search diligently for the law upon which his being is established, he then becomes the wise master, directing his energies with intelligence and fashioning his thoughts to fruitful issues. Such is the conscious master, and man can only thus become by discovering within himself the laws of thought. This discovery is totally a matter of application, self-analysis and experience.
CHAPTER II (TWO)
BECOMING A SPIRITUAL BEING
ìWe are born into the world of nature; our second birth is into the world of spiritî by BHAGAVAD GITA
Becoming a spiritual being and thinking as such enables us to make an informed decision, of course one could not underestimate the power of negative thinking, that is the more reason we need to be encourage to hold a positive attitude, towards transforming our thoughts to life as describe by James Allen in his book ìas a man thinkethî
Realistic, pragmatic and a no nonsense approach to full attainment of your God given potential! The concept espoused in this book is merely theories, half-baked ideas or quick fixes.
Rather they have been developed in a crucial of down to earth practical actions which have withstood the test of time. Hard working, working smart and adding value to your product (which is essentially yours) will continue to be the foundation of achievements in any endeavour. Wayne W Dyer suggest that through sheer tenacity, imagination and risk taking ordinary people can rise above any circumstance to achieve their aspirations.
Therefore it is important to think that you have power within you to create a life of fulfillment and joy. ìIím a miracle and therefore Iím a creator of miraclesî
CHAPTER THREE (III)
CREATING A MIRACLE MIND-SET
ìAs our case is new, we must think and act anew ñAbe Lincolnî
Setting your mind, your invisible self on the path of miracles living takes you to the higher height.
Experiences shared in this chapter by the writer on how the mind cultivation has help in attaining the impossible, what seems to be impossible has always been possible because on our mind-set just like the story of Maurice Panisset, who he hold the mind-set of seeing the light which eventually appeared to him.
The chapter emphasis on what is surely a passionate combination of the wisdom from the Bible and the principles and secret to rise to the top and attain individual well-being.
The revelation of the principles and secret of success through the fourteen keys for creating a miracle mind-set
The fourteen keys for creating a miracle mind-set commends much reflect and unravel the hard facts surrounding successful living in general.
A person with a clear sense of purpose will progress on even the roughest road. A person with no purpose will make no progress on even the smoothest road says Thomas but just as emphasis in the Bible that lack of vision people perish.
Every outstanding accomplishment begins with an idea through miracle mind-setting, a dream or vision.
Reversing judgment and disbelief, creating a real magic zone in your mind, affirming yourself as a no limit person, developing a new mind-set towards the concept of intuition are among but the fourteen keys to miracle mind-set.
It is indeed a fact when true when the writer said we should consult our mind before acting.
It is important we create an inner harmony where your loving soul guides your physical behaviors rather than your soul always coming in second place.
PART II- APPLYING REAL MAGIC AWARENESS IN YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE
CHAPTER FOUR (IV)- REAL MAGIC AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP
all you behold; thoíit appear without, it is within; in your imagination; at which this world of mortality is but a shadow- William Blakeî
Indeed the ability to create magical relationship in our life begins and ends with us. It by accepting a full or complete responsibility of how we choose to go about relating to all of the other people with whom we share this divinity perfect planet This like other magic requires great deal of unlearning and willingness to think in new and magical ways.
The mind as described earlier is the key to relationship and therefore our thought shall reveal our outer productivity as we think so shall it be.
A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.
Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires so may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master- gardener of his soul, the director of his life. He also reveals, within himself, the flaws of thought, and understands, with ever- increasing accuracy,
how the thought-forces and mind elements operate in the
shaping of character, circumstances, and destiny.
In other for us to use our thought to create relationship, we have the option to process others behavior in a way indeed real magic in relationship means an absence of judgments of others like the writer emphasis, it is in our mind that must create the real magic for ourselves in all our dealings with other people, he further went on to say that to reach the stage of real magic we must decide to go beyond suffering and outcome and literally live our lives on purpose. It is important to note that the willingness to encounter miracles must be located within us otherwise you cannot wait for others to change in order for you to discover the real magic of purposeful relationship.
In conclusion to the chapter it is worth emphasizing that purposeful relationship arise when two centered individual cannot themselves to unconditionally love one another and to support each others growths towards their fill potential
CHAPTER FIVE (V)
REAL MAGIC AND YOUR PROSPERITY
ìIf thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believe Mark 9:23î
In a journey of successful living, we ought to have a mind-set of possibility just as illustrated in the book of Mark, that every thing is possible as far as we believe it is attainable.
Picture creating in our mind and holding the vision of what you want to become, reveals that to you as long as you attain to the picture on a clear focus, experience shared by the writer on how he held the vision of becoming a doctor, in spite of the gross poverty and financial challenges he went through, he kept the vision and picturing of becoming a doctor and lo and behold he his now, therefore it is evident that what ever vision you hold in your mind shall become a material reality as long as you kept focus and work towards it.
In order to develop an inner vision of prosperity, op course you donít need anything else to experience prosperity all you need is getting rid of scarcity which means changing the inner picture that reflect a lack in our life but of course when you have mastered the ability to become a spiritual being, you will being to understand that who you are is located in that invisible, dimensionless realms that we all thoughts
You cannot experience prosperity if you believe you donít deserve it, self limiting and fear always bring limitation but like the writer emphasis we all ought to understand that whatever ever we ever need has already been supplied by God awaits your faith.
Be motivated and challenge by rejoicing in the prosperity of others, it is important to held the vision of becoming like someone but then higher than the person, jealous and hatred must be washed out from our minds in other for us to be thinking big.
Real magic indeed can only be experience when you get your life to purpose through focusing on learning through suffering or learning through outcome
It is therefore a fact that prosperity is something that everyone can achieve.
CHAPTER SIX (VI)
REAL MAGIC AND YOUR PERSONAL IDENTITY
ìThereís only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that your own self- Aldous Huxleyî
Of course you can choose the sort of personality you want to become hence the Biblical reference that we can do all things that pleases us by living the choice of life we wanted but in the endÖ
Visualizing for a moment what you desire to become precisely the sort of personality you become just us our destiny has always been shaped by the vision in our heart, what we see in our spirit is what we get in material reality.
And of course, there are many challenges we go through in determined to become a real magical personality, and as stated in the book, there are several lies that limits our power of thoughts to enable us become what exactly we wanted to be and some of this limitations include: the thought that I cant help the way I am, Iíve always been this way, its my nature, I canít change my personality, my family is responsible for my personality just to mentioned but few.
Of course it was indeed a big lie that has always limits our growth, but remember the degree to which you add value to work influence your success against opposition and life indeed is inevitable influence and shaped by the choices you made but in attaining the personality you wanted, it determines the degree of discipline you exercise which shall determine the level of success you can achieve.
In conclusion it is indeed important to use your mediation to see yourself free from the labels that you have upon yourself and to become free of the big lies about your inability to change certain things about yourself.
CHAPTER SEVEN (VII)
REAL MAGIC AND YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH
ìOur bodies are our garden, to which our wills are gardeners ñWilliam Shakespeareî
The chapter indeed helps us to enter into the magic garden of miracles by emphasizing on how to develop a consciousness of possibilities rather than impossibilities.
In order for us to held a real magic of our physical health, we need the ability to translate what our minds already known into physical reality.
Of course transforming your physical health into real magic bring back into memory the famous ZEN proverb : When the Student is ready, the Teacher will appear which means that when we are truly determined in our mind to experience real magic and to live each day at purpose, we can make our real magic of our purposeful health
A shift to super health and supper accomplishment that you once thought impossible will enable us see miraculous transformation in our entire physical being.
PART III- RADIATING REAL MAGIC TO THE WORLD
CHAPTER EIGHT (VIII) – REAL MAGIC AND THE SPIRITUAL REVOLUTION
ìNever doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is only things that ever has- Margaret Meadî
Indeed spiritual transformation is exactly what we need in changing and effecting change in our physical world.
It is indeed mentioned in the Bible that though we are in this world we are not of the world and for that matter we are not fight a physical war but rather spiritual battle which of course suggest that living our lives spiritual shall bring peace, prosperity and what have you in our physical reality.
When all ingredient of a perfect life are ready for to take, we need spiritual faith to obtain as describe in the cover of the book.
Spiritual transformation has become necessary because from chapter two of the book, detail of spiritual transformation was discuss and it evidently shows that when we live our live spiritually we are convince that we shall be thinking above the ordinary and holds no limitation in our thought.
Giant Steps, By Anthony Robbins
Assessment By Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Yet another interesting and challenging book worth reading and transforming our way of thinking is ‘Giant Step’
Indeed the steps to success becomes clearer after carefully digesting the content of the book and makes life very straight forward.
Of course, a giant step is the ultimate game plan and emotionally interactive prior for personal and professional success.
The book has not only inspired my thinking but challenged me in recent times to adopt new approach towards achieving my long dream of success in life.
As I navigate through the chapters and the pages, I felt like living in another world, in fact I thought I was in paradise because, it kept re-echoing the dreams I hold in vision and makes them appear a reality.
Recently I received a call from the country director of World Assembly of Citizen in Ghana (www.worldcitizens.org) to meet him at his office outside Accra, where I based, I thought it was a challenging meeting, because the negative talisman in me kept reminding of how inferior and unimportant I’m in meeting such a high profile personality.
Quickly I remember that the most important person living now is me, and upon reading the book Giant steps and quickly making reference to section two of the page that “getting what I want if I really want it” and that was all I needed in making the meeting success.
On the appointment date, I was ushered into his office by his secretary and the whole meeting was with a VIP sort of, I then remember some where in the book giant step to ask myself sensible and productive question.
I quickly asked myself, why I’m I so important to the country director that he even called me with his private line.
To my surprise, he told me and I quote ‘Sammy we are planning to hold world Summit on Terrorism next year in Ghana and based on your profile in peace building I shall request you to be the project coordinator.’
I wish you can imagine how I felt, it’s really a blessing in disgust but all credit to the book giant step; because I really think I took a bold and giant step in associating myself which the high profile.
Giant step is indeed all about finding result, upon reading the book, fist tools, principles, strategies and techniques which have compel me to take giant steps which I recently did.
In summery the book giant step is about bridging the gab between the ‘haves’ and ‘have-not’ between the ‘outside’ and the ‘inside’ between the world ‘out-there’ and the world ‘in-here’ it is a book purposely designed to enhance the productivity of everyone who follows the advice given in it.
Indeed a fact of life that he who cannot change the every fabric of his to light will never be able to change reality and will never, therefore make any progress
Love Is Letting Go Of Fear, By Gerald G Jompolsky
Assessment By Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
The Bible once mentioned that the greatest gift to mankind on earth is the gift of love. The greatest commandment given to mankind is also the commandment of showing love which is above all things.
Out of love, God gave his son to die on earth for our sins to be cleansed and to re-unit us to the love of God.
I really find the book ‘Love letting go of fear’ worth reading even though I have had opportunities to read several related books but love is letting go of fear stands out because the books is like everything I wasn’t
The book raised very important points when references are made that what our mind projects becomes our perception which limits our vision as long as we hold it. This reminds me of my personal experience while in College.
I was once the most admirable mathematics student until the lecturer was transferred to another institute, the new lecturer who replaced the old one wasn’t attractive, let along makes the class very interesting, I develop a perception of her and could not concentrate fully on what she teaches, I gradually became the worse student in mathematics and the whole student body got disappointed to me, my parents never forgave me because my dream of becoming a pilot is fading.
I tried in many ways to justify why I’m not performing well in the said subject but until the self suggestion in me spoke, I got the message clear and quietly walked to the office of the mathematics lecturer crying and confessing my attitude to his class, she forgave me and then I found my inner peace, though I did not do very well in Mathematics thereafter, I got my inner peace, hence my earlier statement the books is like everything I wasn’t.
In recent times I have been dealing with inner conflict and the books has really broaden my understanding on the topic for instance when the books talks of inner peace, its really all about forgiving and changing perception of others and not being judgmental of things around us.
I want to associate myself to the writer when he illustrated that we have time without number perceives that our body controls our mind, this was a personal area I found myself, until recently I have old the perception that opportunity is associated the body, until I change my mind that the mind which is the central engine of our thoughts hold the keys to our attitude.
In summary, the book love is letting go of fear goes to confirm that if you do not care deeply for someone disagreements and problems will only be a passing annoyance. The more someone matters to you, the more you will mind when things between you go wrong.
Wisdom Of The Heart: Inspiration For A Life Worth Living – By Alan Cohen
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Reading the book Wisdom of the heart is much challenging and very inspirational which moves you to keep turning the pages but more importantly having an instant effect in your life.
The authors combination of famous poetry, Biblical stories and other literatures makes reading challenging especially the life of others being express motivates you to do similar.
The book after reading I must say have had an impact on me, navigating the pages, one that stands out which challenges me was chapter two (2) which challenges me to sing my own song, I kept saying chapter has influence my life because I have kept singing the songs of others instead of myself. I have time without numbers sing the song of others which has really affected my life, because I have not been able to sing my own song, people I kept singing their song turns to take advantage of me, even though I knew they are cheating at me, because of what I get from them I cant complain but I appreciate reading the book, now I have been challenge to sing my own song.
Due to the sort of work I’m doing as a volunteer in human development, I only has to sing others song to enable me get the necessary funding for my projects but upon navigating through the pages of the book, I realize I can sing my own song by turning my situation round based on opportunities around me and others shall sing my song instead of me.
The book re-echoed a situation I found myself into some where the beginning of this year (2004)
It all begun when for no reason, my fiance call from the United Kingdom that we should separated, I requested for an explanation only for her to inform me that she does not know the future of our relationship and that we should separated, I appeal to her to rescind her decision because I new the future is bright yet she requested for separation, I gave in and we are separated now!
The issues kept worrying me and I developed a negative mental attitude towards the circumstance, I have refuse to accept the problem and that closed all opportunities that came my way, I’m saying the book re-echoed my memories because after reading chapter 48 of the book ‘wisdom of the heart’ it reminds me of how I turned the situation round.
There is this neighbour who unknowing to me kept admiring me and giving me signs of love yet because I hold negative perception of what my fiance has done I could not see the opportunity to live a normal life, until one day I told myself, I have to effect a change in my life, I told myself I’m the most important person living now! Why waste my life in this situation but believe me that was the turning point of my life.
Because I change my perception and developed a positive mental attitude to the situation, I recognized the message of love sent by my neighbour and quickly take advantage of the opportunity as we are planning to get marriage in a year or two.
This was the letter I wrote to myself in turning my situation for the better.
Many people would experience emotional emergency at least once in their relationship with others. Many would have their heart broken in the process while others would be confused, feel harassed and depressed for no apparent reason, she broke up with you and begin seeing another person. You try your very best to find out why she has suddenly lost interest in you but she rebuffs you.
You spend sleepless night trying to analysis why she left you, is it because of your poor looks? Are you too fat\thin? What went wrong? Did your educational background scare her? Why? Why? Why?
Quit analysis her behavior or criticizing yourself, this obviously isn’t going to bring her back to you, beside a lady who does not think much about your feeling and walk out on you is not worth losing over instead of brooding over what you might have done wrong, focus on your best qualities, after all does it not take two people to make a relationship work? Go out with friends who make you feel good about yourself, use the period to do things you love doing remember the visit of pools, or other interesting places you love going, get out and book appointment and start visiting those places with colleagues.
The more you concentrate on what you love and enjoy doing, the less time you will spend brooding over the ifs and whys.
You remember the good times you had together and you wonder if you would ever find another woman like her? What if no woman ever proposed to you? Can you ever fall in love again after what she did to you? Can your emotion be healed?
Admittedly, its not easy to deal with broken relationship no matter who asked for the break, breaking up can be a painful decision. How to get over the relationship is not to pretend she never matters to you. Accept that she has play on important in your life and give yourself sometime to grieve over the broken relationship also talk about what happened to a close friend or any relative who will listen to you. Don’t let the period of releasing tension drag on. Get over it and move on, do the things you love doing and go out with those people who make you feel good with time you will get over such break-up blues and who knows Mrs. Right may just be around the corner.
It is normal for absence to make the heart grow fonder but remember you broke up for a reason, write down your diary as remember all the reasons you asked for a break and be honest about it. When you are through with the list, it would be crystal clear to you why you could never have stayed in that relationship. Although remembering some of the good times you both share may be natural try to be realistic for if the two of get together again, in no time you would be scrambling out again.
Put all that reminds you of her into your relationship relics box and create room in your heart for something new and exciting.
In summery the book ‘wisdom of the heart’ tackles the basic steps to enable you re-build confidence and turning yours situations to a positive living
A Gift Of Wings
Assessment By Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Whoever has read the book ‘A gift of wings’ could see the imaginative and creative power of the writer Richard Bach.
Having the opportunity of reading one of his books apart from ‘a gift of wings’ was ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull.’
Navigating the pages of his books, one could clearly been challenge on the need of transcending our limitation into productive use.
Unlike Jonathan Livingston Seagull where a seagull was used in the analogy, shown how challenging life could be, a gift of wings in more of a practical challenge, one face in riding towards life.
To sight a personal example, I have been challenged with so many limitations and challenges in making up my life, I have been let down by my all my friends sometime before not because I wasn’t good but because I was keeping an HIV/AIDS patient who society has denounced as my friend, I was advised to shun him but I kept encouraging the said patient until he finally died a peaceful death in his sleep.
Because I never rejected him, though I don’t know for him, but I can confidently say from my perspective that he had an inner peace because somebody at least cared for him before his death.
A gift of wings is really a real life situation, we all have the ability to transform situation, because I hold a wings to fly to any level or miles of traveling I never gave hope even though my friends didn’t understand me, that was a positive use of my wings
Notwithstanding the good aspect of using my gift of wings, I also use it negatively and I feel a shame sharing it but for the purpose of these reading, I have to.
Because I had a gift of turning situation to a positive one even how bad it is, I grow wings and begun looking down on people, I thought I knew everything and everybody is stupid, but until one day I met a twelve-year old boy who quizzed me to the point of not having answers to his question and until that day, I changed my perception and begun controlling my gift of wings.
The risk attached to the gift of wings enables us to effect changes in our lives, as a pilot you ought to be extra careful to obey every air instruction in other to survive so as the human race must as well be conform to the realities of our life in other to effect changes in peoples life.
Now as a pilot who is about flying a plane for the first time shall consider a lot of challenges in his/her mind, thinking of the dangers ahead in flying that height but perseverance and determination, flying that height becomes one of the normal height a good pilot could fly therefore every individual who determines in his/her heart and takes the challenge of turning situation round could as well become a pilot in the book ‘a gift of wings.’
Another interesting memory of how I used my gift of wings positively into turning and challenging people to make the impossible possible in their lives was when I was a college boy, on campus I aspire to be elected as the protocol and project prefect, my campaign strategies worked perfectly as I could speak eloquently.
I was elected the prefect and soon became a thin god, I grow a lot of wings even to the surprise of all my followers, I spare no student who break the school regulation, even though very successful leader whiles on campus, I got series of enemies because I don’t condone wrong doing. Those who broke school regulations are punished for.
In summery, a gift of wings in real senses most challenging mechanism in turning what seems impossible to be possible.
The Magic Of Thinking Success
Assessment By Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
The magic of thinking success is so unique that when you adopted the strategies and the principles suggested by the writer, one could be in position to make an informed decision
As suggested that though sheer tenacity, imagination and risk-taking ordinary people can rise above any circumstance to achieve their aspiration. Ordinary people can indeed achieve extraordinary result but it doesnt come cheap as personal I had the experience in holding a dream and later transforming into making the financial success I deserved. I got myself involved with reason into making a my financial life a success, I never knew how to make it workable until I finally added that little value to the already potential I had thus developing a positive mental attitude.
I could not agree more with Dr. Schwartz when he tries to suggest that the magic of thinking success starts with a dream! Very true, a every successful thinking begins with a dream because turning dream into material reality determines how successful you could be. As the Bible even mentioned that faith without action is dead!
My personal philosophy in life, which has been re-echoed several times in reading ILGL books has always been that ones impact in life is determine by his input undeniably it can be said that it your determination, focus and hard work to your vision and mission in life that determines your level of success
The book has thought me that success like all other form of success is no mystery but the progressive pursuit at specific principles such as has been espoused in the book.
The book hit the nail right in the head! When I was working as a public relation officer with Ghana Telecom, though very successful I had a dream of becoming on my own and from that dream I developed a positive mental attitude in attaining it, lo and behold Iím currently working on projects in fulfillment of that dream.
The book ‘magic of thinking success’ challenges me a lot as it brings back into memory of how to turn dreams into making a successful plan.
I remember when I was aspiring to become the vice president of the Anglican Young People Association, I have campaigned over the country and waiting for the electoral process, though the election was very competitive I become victorious due to the fact that I have a dream which I turned into reality. I have a long dream of one day becoming the vice president and I think my electoral manifesto made the magic.
In my campaign speech, I said ‘a sheep leading thousands of lions shall be defeated by a lion leading thousands of sheep’ and that was all I needed into turning my dream of becoming successful.
It is also very interesting reading the successful techniques for motivating people to do what you want.
The motivating principles as described in his book on how to get people do what you want, is a reminder of my strategies of getting people do what I wanted. I have a gift of identifying people temperament even at the first instance of meeting, and based on that, I also realized that motivation is not all about giving money to individuals but as well given recognition of peopleís efforts.
That remains me when I was able to lead a delegation to lobby the district chief executive of my county to promote the right of the women by allocating a certain amount of money from his consolidated fund for women initiative.
In summery, the magic of thinking success is all about having a dream, following a dream profession and knowing what you want. If you fail to dream and knowing what you want, failure shall be associated with you instead of success as emphasis by the writer you can be anything you want to be.
You’ll See It When You Believe It
Assessment By Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
As if it really happing all the time but until I read the book ‘You’ll see it when you believe it’ by Dr. Wayne W Dyer
The book tackles very real issues of transforming our life and adopting a positive attitude towards the development of our mind.
Indeed your transformation is all about adopting a new attitude as putted by the writer in his preamble of chapter one of the book ‘transformation is the ability and willingness to live beyond your form.’
Just as I mentioned when assessing the book Giant Step, had it not been a personal transformation, I could not have taken that bold steps in securing the project with the Association of Global Citizens a subsidiary of World Assembly of Citizens
Because I have for a long time hold the perception of inferiority and not-to-do-with, my way of doing things remain limited until that moment of transformation which led me clear the talisman of negative perception in my way of thinking.
You’ll see it when you believe it and the personal experience shared by the writer on how he left lecturing at the university to carry on with his own dream brings back into memory when I took such a risk decision some two years ago.
I was working as a public relationship officer at the Ghana Telecommunication Limited, very successful and energetic and well admire by all due to my effort in turning the corporate image to the acceptable of management but meanwhile I have a dream of settling on my own since I have a long term dream of working in the area of humanity and helping young people to make an informed decision.
I intend discussion my decision with my family but upon second thought, I rescind my decision and kept analysising why I wanted to do this, I asked myself series of question until finally I told my family of it.
But unlike Dr. Dyer, I was discourage by almost all those I informed on my intension but having a dream and risking for it, enables you to become very successful.
I finally walked into the office of the head of human resource department not to seek information but actually going to hand over me resignation letter, the woman became very disappointed and advised me of my decision, what interested me most of the was I told her, I have finally decided because I have thought of all that you had said.
Upon resigning from Ghana Telecom, I faced different challenges in my new endeavour but now I’m laughing even though I’m not yet financially independent but I believed my transformation is no different from the writer’s story.
The words ‘you’ll see it when you believe it’ drifted my thoughts as concluded, I feel such an inner sense of joy at honoring and encouraging this part of me, as I’m now seen everywhere working and lobbying for the right of the child and advocating for youth development and involvement in decision-making in national and international platforms.
I was attach to the belief that I’m nobody and nothing seems to be working for me, in fact I declared myself useless just waiting for the lord to call me home until that transformation came when I took a bold steps in living beyond my form.
In summary, it is recommended that we should continue to live beyond our form to mastermind our transformation.
Living beyond our forms, enables a step in successful living
Pulling Your Own Strings
Assessment By Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Of course the book reveals how we all can prevent ourselves from being victimized by others and begins to operate from a position of power at the center of our own lives.
The books teaches that we could live above our circumstance if we consider practicing how we learn never to say it is impossible,; never think nobody loves you.
But whatever we do, even the smallest activities, do with great zeal. It is not through sudden supernatural achievement that we build our lives but it is in the common daily activities which most of the time are fraught with numerous setbacks. Personally I learnt upon reading the book to build on what I have now, ignoring all pain, setbacks and insults. I was re-assured in the book that if I could wait for extraordinary situations or circumstance, I will never achieve anything.
That reminds me when I fail an examination paper during a semester exams, I could not bear the insult from family and how friends and colleagues laughed at me, but I held on and continued with my life, in fact if you want to start using ordinary situations and doing little things and even things you have ever attempted and couldnít accomplish anything. Be it examination or business like in my case, there are several others who failed before you.
The book also made me realized and challenged me not to be satisfied with where and what I have now, like Chris Wildener, a motivational writer and speaker recommended “when you realize what you fear, a sure way of conquering it is to take an action that is diametrically opposed to that which you fear”
I recall a movement in my life when I felt victimized, it all begun at a peace workshop I participated, the content of the program was dealing with inner conflict and peace, the event though very successful find some lapses and I pointed out to the facilitators and the coordinators, almost all the facilitators practice Buddhism as a faith and majority of the participants are Christians. Before and after the meeting, the participants are subjected to Buddhist rituals, though I had no personal problem with that, I thought it was wrong to subject participants to a faith, since all the participants are grumbling.
Unconditional Life
Assessment By Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Is there really an unconditional life? That was the question I kept asking myself when I got hold of the book but until I finished reading and relating it to my social and spiritual life, I have come into full understanding that there could be an unconditional life.
Just as the writer compared the characters of his clients, Robert and Barbara, their attitude to life clearly define whether or they could contain the challenges they found themselves.
Sometimes disasters set the stage for greater things. No event is entirely negative, the only time it may be entirely negative is when you agree, therefore the trials you may be going through now are just tremors to see if you are confident enough to keep going in the face of obstacles. These experience must humble, refine and teach you to be a better person to understand others in their own time of difficulties rather than sit down to bemoan your situation.
It has happened to me on several occasion, my attitude to problems determines I live, for instance when I girl friend decided to quiet with me, I developed a positive mental attitude and quickly overcome the shock which might take several years to overcome.
Any example is when some is declared HIV positive, the thought and behaviour of the patients determines whether or not he/she shall stay longer, when you thought of the stigma attach to the disease, you shall definitely be affected by your choice.
Unconditional life is basically how we could deal with challenges facing our social and psychological life.
Remember every day and every moment of our life our destiny is determined not by chance but by the choices we make as growth and achievement take nerve and action.
Unconditional life tackles all aspect of human living and even when times are though and you canít see your own way clearly to be victorious, always remember that success in life does not come by eliminating but by growth with troubles.
As I stood up to address the situation, the facilitators and the coordinators didnít fine it useful and asked me to resume my sit, I felt victimized but later I told my self I was the most important person living at that moment and that was all I needed to transform to situation by getting on in life.
In a journey through life, we must move over the rocks some of which will leave us with injured hands and knees. You will slip and fall, sometimes heavily too, but never remain on the ground as all experiences are for your good.
In summery it is worth mentioning that, in life you can blame someone for pushing you down, but you blame yourself for not getting up.
Awaken The Giant Within
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Albert Einstein once said “In the middle of every difficulty lies an opportunity.”
The book Awaken the giant within indeed brought out the giant within me, the book has taught me that success like all other form is no mystery but the progressive pursuit at specific principles such as been espoused in the book
Unlike Anthony Robins in the introductory pages of the book, when he recount a meeting/seminar he went to lecture and could not believe his eyes at the large attendance to the program, making him felt heavens, I had a similar situation but on the contrary I organized a lecture on integrating professionalism into psychology studies, my expectation was high since I have invited almost all students reading psychology at the various universities in the country and to my surprise only 30 participants attended meanwhile I have estimated for more than 200 participants.
On the day of event, I was stuck with the challenge of numbers, but then the positive power in me told me not to look at the numbers but go ahead in delivering the good stuff in me.
Though the numbers where less my expectation the impact had on the few was marvelous. Professors and lecturers in psychology invited me to their faculty to appreciate the charisma in impacting knowledge to their students because the few who participated in the seminar begun excelling in their respective campus hence my close associate with the psychology faculties in most universities, not as a lecture but researcher.
I recount how frustrated and disheartened I became, I lost hope entirely until the divine power within me, asked me to cheer up since there is good new for me. Before beginning with my speech, I heard a voice within me saying “the future belongs to those who constantly persevere, fail sometimes, endure and keep moving.”
The book Awaken the giant within indeed is a profound and powerful tool which has been an enormous source of strength and insight for personal and professionally as retreated by Peter Guber
There is an English proverb, which says “A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner” Publilius also stated that “anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.”
I told myself in like never to allow adversities put me off, instead use the opportunities towards my goals. In life true success comes not by never having problems but by perseverance and how you see and understand issues.
Navigating through the pages of the book Awaken the giant within and relating it to the challenges I had once found myself and how I overcome enables me to open page upon pages.
Hardly do great people just emerge in life with great names. Often they do so through great suffering and frustration. Most of the time life is not straightforward, easy or understandable.
There are several developments that you can never get answers to, but that notwithstanding, I see every challenge as an opportunity to build up a unique impressive identity for myself as mentioned in the book by Anthony Robins.
Upon completing the book, I realized it is natural we must become confuses and disoriented when life shakes up but this must be for only a short period, quickly we must pull ourselves up and not that we have been created for a unique purpose which only we can fulfill.
In summery, the book Awaken the giant within is perfect for turning situation to benefit once self, the book encourages us to endure every challenge to our advantage and in fact the book touches all aspect of life via emotional, physical and financial transformation.
Pulling Your Own Strings
Assessment By Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Of course the book reveals how we all can prevent ourselves from being victimized by others and begins to operate from a position of power at the center of our own lives.
The books teaches that we could live above our circumstance if we consider practicing how we learn never to say it is impossible,; never think nobody loves you.
But whatever we do, even the smallest activities, do with great zeal. It is not through sudden supernatural achievement that we build our lives but it is in the common daily activities which most of the time are fraught with numerous setbacks. Personally I learnt upon reading the book to build on what I have now, ignoring all pain, setbacks and insults. I was re-assured in the book that if I could wait for extraordinary situations or circumstance, I will never achieve anything.
That reminds me when I fail an examination paper during a semester exams, I could not bear the insult from family and how friends and colleagues laughed at me, but I held on and continued with my life, in fact if you want to start using ordinary situations and doing little things and even things you have ever attempted and couldnít accomplish anything. Be it examination or business like in my case, there are several others who failed before you.
The book also made me realized and challenged me not to be satisfied with where and what I have now, like Chris Wildener, a motivational writer and speaker recommended “when you realize what you fear, a sure way of conquering it is to take an action that is diametrically opposed to that which you fear”
I recall a movement in my life when I felt victimized, it all begun at a peace workshop I participated, the content of the program was dealing with inner conflict and peace, the event though very successful find some lapses and I pointed out to the facilitators and the coordinators, almost all the facilitators practice Buddhism as a faith and majority of the participants are Christians. Before and after the meeting, the participants are subjected to Buddhist rituals, though I had no personal problem with that, I thought it was wrong to subject participants to a faith, since all the participants are grumbling.
As I stood up to address the situation, the facilitators and the coordinators didnít fine it useful and asked me to resume my sit, I felt victimized but later I told my self I was the most important person living at that moment and that was all I needed to transform to situation by getting on in life.
In a journey through life, we must move over the rocks some of which will leave us with injured hands and knees. You will slip and fall, sometimes heavily too, but never remain on the ground as all experiences are for your good.
In summery it is worth mentioning that, in life you can blame someone for pushing you down, but you blame yourself for not getting up.
Unconditional Life
Assessment By Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Is there really an unconditional life? That was the question I kept asking myself when I got hold of the book but until I finished reading and relating it to my social and spiritual life, I have come into full understanding that there could be an unconditional life.
Just as the writer compared the characters of his clients, Robert and Barbara, their attitude to life clearly define whether or they could contain the challenges they found themselves.
Sometimes disasters set the stage for greater things. No event is entirely negative, the only time it may be entirely negative is when you agree, therefore the trials you may be going through now are just tremors to see if you are confident enough to keep going in the face of obstacles. These experience must humble, refine and teach you to be a better person to understand others in their own time of difficulties rather than sit down to bemoan your situation.
It has happened to me on several occasion, my attitude to problems determines I live, for instance when I girl friend decided to quiet with me, I developed a positive mental attitude and quickly overcome the shock which might take several years to overcome.
Any example is when some is declared HIV positive, the thought and behaviour of the patients determines whether or not he/she shall stay longer, when you thought of the stigma attach to the disease, you shall definitely be affected by your choice.
Unconditional life is basically how we could deal with challenges facing our social and psychological life.
Remember every day and every moment of our life our destiny is determined not by chance but by the choices we make as growth and achievement take nerve and action.
Unconditional life tackles all aspect of human living and even when times are though and you canít see your own way clearly to be victorious, always remember that success in life does not come by eliminating but by growth with troubles.
The Story of My Experiment With Truth
The Autobiography of Mahatma Gandhi
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Part 1 – Review of Content
As Jesus Christ told his disciples according to the Christian faith, that if somebody slaps you in the right face, turn the left face for him to slap also and when somebody takes away your cloak from you, give me the coat too, in his book my experiment with truth, Mahatma Gandhi recounts how he uses the strategy of non-violence approach to achieve success in his life, which has now become a philosophy of peace-building.
There are several significant points within the book which needs to be discussed, among them include when Gandhi narrates an incident when Mr. Giles, an educational inspector came to visit a school Gandhi was attending as part of assessment of pupils, when the teacher realised Gandhi has misspelled the work ‘Kettle’ he decided to prompt him with his boot but Gandhi refuses to be prompt simply because as a child he has learnt to live by the truth and also he has the understanding that teachers where at the school to supervise wrong not to compromising it, and its very significant for me because at such age, Gandhi could resist wrong.
Another significant point of the book, my experiment with truth, was that I am still at a lost why the Hindu culture encourages child marriage, unlike Nelson Mandela in his book, Long Walk to Freedom, he recounts how he fled from his native village to city at the mention of child marriage, but Gandhi as innocent as he is stood and respected the decision of his father, clearly from the reading of the book, one could see how immature Gandhi was to engaged into marriage and this brought a lot of problems for him, for instance in the reading I recall how he mentioned several times of his jealousy over his wife, which in its real sense tells you that he has no knowledge of what marriage is about, when he was forced into it.
Another significant of the book is that, truth never seizes on his month, one most important point which needs to be emphasis is the fact that he manages to send a letter to his landlady that he was marriage and even has a child before coming to England, this was indeed a significant point, because most of the Indians in England has to hide the truth in order to enjoy their stay but he chose otherwise, making him overcome the untruth.
One of the most significant lessons from his book was the issues of friendship, indeed his description of friendship nearly led him into the lion’s den but thank God he was able to overcome the temptation, the significance is that, friends always leads people to trouble and that if you are not self centred person you will always be misled and a clear example was when he was constantly perceived by his friend into eating not only meat, but engaging into smoking and finally almost committing an adultery.
I recall how Gandhi continue to upheld the truth and stick to the vow he make to his parents irrespective of the circumstance, its significance is that, one ought to always uphold the truth, as the truth will always stand in spite of how long it will take to come.
The most important significance in the book my experiment with truth was that, a lot of truthfulness, commitment, love, patience, submissiveness was at it best, he did show all this without any reservation.
Gandhi has a lot of respect for another religion though he did not particularly believe in them, but he kept associating with other faith just to do comparism of his own Religion
Education as Nelson Mandela mentioned in his book ‘Long Walk to Freedom’ as the engine of growth for development was very rear even to Gandhi at those days, his desire to become a Lawyer materialised because he kept the dream alive and did everything possible to obtain the height of his education.
The fusion of organized mass struggle and non-violence has a long history and involves the refusal to counter the violence of a repressive system with violence. A prime example of mass non-violent action is the successful non-violent campaign for Indian independence from the British Empire, which was led by Mahatma Gandhi
Part 2 – Personal Impact & Practical Value
My practical valve or impact is that the book my experiment with truth, mentioned very important point especially the concept of Satyagraha (non-violence) it mentioned that Power itself is not derived solely through violence. Governmental power is frequently violent in nature, but it is primarily maintained through oppression and tacit compliance of the majority of the governed. Since silence and passivity is interpreted by the government as consent, any significant withdrawal of compliance will restrict or challenge governmental control. Struggle and conflict are often necessary to correct injustice. People’s apathy in the face of injustice implicates them in the moral responsibility for that injustice.
Returning violence with violence forces us to replicate structures of oppression and injustice which we oppose. It is essential that we separate the role a person plays from that individual. The “enemy” is the system that convinces people that they have little choice but to play oppressive roles or work in military industries. A nonviolent campaign must focus on the issues and the system, rather than individuals caught up in that system.
Nonviolent struggle is not easy, and should not be thought of as a “safe” way to fight injustice. The strength of nonviolence comes from our willingness to openly take personal risk without threatening other people. Acting against injustice should be done in a way that exemplifies our vision of a just and peaceful world.
The book my experiment with the truth, emphasis that Nonviolence provides us with more control over a situation. It eliminates a major rationale for the use of violence by opponents. Supporters of the opponents are drawn away and there are fewer casualties. Nonviolence makes room for productive dialogue, allowing us to speak to the best in people, rather than seeking to exploit their weakness to what we may think is our advantage. We can put more pressure on people for whom we show human concern. Gandhi makes it clear that Violence creates desperation and resentment in opponents. Openness and honesty are essential elements in our attempt to get the general public to respect and trust us. Violence and dishonesty undermine support and credibility. Groups using nonviolence gain self-respect, confidence, and power.
The book my experiment with the truth, shows the following characteristics in Gandhi:
Commitment; Besides the specific commitment towards the organization or cause, the book shows that a leader person must have an unequivocal commitment with social change and a clear vision of the future that s/he is fighting for.
Honesty; Softened with some tact (itís not always well seen to be honest), comes out to be the best politic.
Positive attitude; Gandhi makes it clear that the world is full of problems and of negative people that donít have the minimum intention of helping to solve them. He said individuals must radiate an enthusiastic and propositive attitude, with emphasis in the possible solutions before the difficulties and defeatism.
Self security; This does not mean that a leader person must know everything, but that s/he has enough self security as to ask for help and to admit their own weaknesses. A secure person can accept the same recognition and critiques, without falling in vanity or being too hard on themselves.
Trust in people. A person that plays a leader role must have liking for people and trust in what they can give. A leader that despises those who surround them will not be able to take to action even their own muscles.
Give priority to the team. Learning to develop a team includes not only recognizing talents and limitations of the members, but also acquiring a perspective over the subjective and cultural elements that cross work and power human relations, which affect the success or failure in the interrelation between the leader and the team.
Self knowing; Exercising leadership supposes, before anything, being in agreement with yourself; recognizing our characteristics and utilize in a constructive way the self personality. The task of self studying here and now in the intergroup camp is complex but necessary. Assuming oneself as a leader also demands of a training in the group dynamics, a work on the self narcissism, of the self subjectivity. Knowing the motivations that act when assuming a position that implies directing other people, knowing what we feel when being in a leader role and learn of the self conflicts is the best way to investigate what affects the relations between ìleadersî and ìfollowersî.
Distrust institutions that do not render clear explanations; Gandhi emphasis that a leader is somebody who always asks the why of things and of institutions, and maintains a healthy skepticism on what is being said.
Know how to listen; He also mentioned that a leader must know how to incorporate worries and suggestions of the people that are working with them. This is one of the reasons why people trust them.
Diplomacy; The fashion in which things are said is usually very important. Whether it is an internal meeting within the team, or a public appearance with people of the contrary opinion. This does not mean that you have to go around the bush; you can be direct yet at the same time acting with tact.
Finally the book my experiment with truth, emphasis that; Those who are committed with social change must be conscious that such change is not found around the corner. Therefore, the rewards of the leadership work is within ourselves, in our hearts, in the sensation of being doing what we consider is the right thing, and in living day-by-day with coherence.
The world we desire weíll probably not live or see ourselves; but our conviction of transforming it is born from a sense of justice and of hope that may take on different names: love, responsibility, solidarity.
Part 3 – Summary
To summarise the entire book, my experiment with the truth, one thing stands out as the concept of Satyagraha otherwise known as active non-violence, Gandhi tackle all aspect of the truth and to finally quote him, ‘an eye for an eye will lead the whole world blind’
I wish to recommend the book, my experiment of truth to all who believe in the ideology of the Satyagraha
Non-Violent Communication: A Language Of Life
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Part I – Content Review
Non-violence as being describe by others continue to become the excellence of human connection and tool of love but its very important to make reference to the definition as expounds by writer in his book, ‘Non-violent communication, A language of life.’
He defined Non-violence communication is a way of interacting, that facilitate the flow of communication need to exchange information and resolve differences peacefully, this is one thing I have ascribed to and I think the book mentioned all the tools available in dealing with non-violence communication, the points raised in the books were meaningful and importance for mentioning.
For example as the book mentioned that it is our nature to enjoy giving and receiving compassionately. One of the things which came up was life-alienating communication that lead us to speak and behave in ways that injured others and ourselves.
The book also mentioned that another form of commucation is the use of comparisons, which can block compassion both for others and ourselves. I can’t end this portion of the importance meaning the book highlighted without mentioning that, by a vocabulary of feelings that allows us to clearly and specifically name or identify our emotions.
Part II – Personal Impact & Practical Value
On the issue of practical values or impact the book ‘Non-violent communication has brought to me is that, based on my reading, I have gotten better understanding of how to approach issue with regards to conflict management, for instance in a situation were I battle with my needs and values, I was able make reference to the points raised by the book, the pain of expressing our needs versus the pain of not expressing our needs.
Another significant impact the book has had in my growth is that fact that through the reading of this book, I have practically been able to liberate my emotional feelings from my emotional slavery, I have remain one person who will want to keep things to myself without discussion them, I feel very limited in my approach to issues but I can confidently says that upon reading the book, I have overcome such problem and now sees myself as very much liberated from my emotional liberation, I now have a better human understanding of dealing with emotional slavery and not only I who has gotten the understanding but the class I lecture on conflict management, because I have had it as part of the topics I teach. I have stop blaming others for my problems but I now see issues from a clarify perspective and have better understanding over issues, I have stop the blame game and so my students.
One of the practical impact the book has had on me is that my positive attitude of using positive action languages, I have learnt that, once I say positive things to my life, positive impact will continue to befall at me, for instance Man is made or unmade by himself. In the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself. He also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascends to the divine perfection. By the abuse and wrong application of thought he descends below the level of the beast. Between these two extremes are all the grade of character and man is their maker and master.
A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.
Part III – Summary
In summery conclusion of the book ‘Non-violence Communication- a language of life’ I have come to the realisation that, we can apply Non-violence Communication to resolve internal conflicts that often result in depression.
Again, when we are entangled in critical, blaming or angry thoughts, it is difficult to establish a healthy internal environment for ourselves. It because clear in reading the entire book that non-violence communication help us create a more peaceful state of mind by encouraging us to focus on what we are truly wanting rather than on what is wrong with others or ourselves.
Essential Steps To Conflict Resolution
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Part I – Content Review
It is worth reading and getting all the understanding of the book, The Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution as prepared by Dr. Dudley weeks, the book touched on all the levels of conflict managements including relationship building and also identify the tools in resolving conflict both at homes and at work places.
The book touched on salient points which needs to emphasised, for examply the book mentioned that Conflicts between people are a normal, natural and inevitable part of life – at work, at home and in all our relationships with others. Unfortunately, most of us don’t really accept this fact and we still get surprised and distressed when it’s clear that a conflict has emerged.. As long as everything is going along smoothly, it’s easy to be considerate and respectful of another person’s needs. They are in no way interfering with our own. But the emergence of a conflict can change all that – now we can feel threatened, anxious and angry. The same person whom we enjoyed working with yesterday now seems like an adversary. That’s because of our vast, past experience with conflict, most of which was negative.
The book also emphasis that we have a negative attitude toward conflict primarily because we haven’t learned constructive ways to deal with it – in fact, the converse is true: we have learned destructive ways of handling conflict. As children, as students and as employees (and too often as spouses) we have experienced losing in a conflict because parents, teachers and bosses use/d their power to win at our expense. Even though we know the feelings of resentment, anger, dislike, even hostility that we experience as a result of losing, the win-lose posture is deeply ingrained and when we get in positions where we have power over people, we often choose to win at their expense.
For instance I considers the points raised in the book every meaningful because it has given me a new understanding of conflict and as chapter one of the book puts it, a new view of conflict. It again touched on the conflict partnership approach which I consider very significant because in resolving conflict one out to focus on both the immediate conflict and the overall relationship.
Another important significance of the book I found meaningful to me was that of the five popular but ineffective approaches to conflict resolutions, each scenarios used by the write goes to confirm our continues use of such approaches towards conflict resolutions for instance, most people use the conquest approach in resolving conflict but the question is that, did it ends the conflict? What about the avoidance approach which is both seductive and complex? One cannot go on without mentioning of the other approaches which includes, the bargaining approach, the quick fixer or bandaid approach.
Part II – Personal Impact & Practical Value
I must sat that practically the book has had a great value to my work as far as peace and conflict resolution is concern, for instance I have learnt new techniques in resolving simple and family conflicts, I have also got the understanding that the five popular but ineffective approaches to conflict which before I consider as the champion of resolving conflict is after all not the magic. Let me be quick to say that one of the major impact the book has had on my practical life is the outline of the eight essential steps, recently I was called by a community to resolve a long dispute among two youthful organisation, even though I have a track record of mediating on such issues, I think this time round it was the book ‘The Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution’ which did the magic, my creation of an effective atmosphere as just enough to gain confidence among the two parties, before they had refuse to talk over their conflict until I was ask to set in, fixing a meeting out of their community was just enough to get me go through the process easy, but I guess my ability to bring peace among them was just because I have followed the eight steps in resolving conflict especially clarifying my perception over the issues, in the end success came and it was joy among the two communities, let me be quick again to add that the two parties jointing developed a project and sourced a grant from an International organisation and are now jointing implanting the program and almost in their second month of implementing stage.
I can say that the book has brought a lot of values to my work, even though I have read a lot of books on Business Psychology in relations to conflict management, I think that of Dr. Dudley Weeks is one I shall recommend for reading.
Part III – Summary
In summery to conclude my assessment of the book ‘The Eight Essential Steps to Conflict Resolution’ by Dudley Weeks, Ph.D. I have gain a lot of ideas in the book as it touches on all aspect of resolving conflict from Adam to Revelations. One of the new things I learnt from the book or one of the impacts the book had on me was that when you’re in conflict with another person, you both are usually aware of it at some level. There’s a sense of disruption, unease, something is not right. The communication between you might change, perhaps becoming superficial or terse. Or there’s silence. Once you’re aware that you’re in conflict, what you do next really matters. Acknowledge that a conflict exists. Very often, we decide not to acknowledge this hoping that the conflict will somehow go away or resolve itself. That rarely happens. Only when conflicts are brought out into the open, do they have the chance of being dealt with effectively. And as I just mentioned, dealing with conflict effectively requires skills that are proven to work, sometimes like magic. When you have these skills, the idea of facing conflicts with others is not nearly so daunting, and in fact can be stimulating and energizing.
Getting To Resolution
Turning Conflict Into Collaboration
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Part 1 – Content Review:
To quote Nina Link, “The power of reaching collaboration by given up the need to win is illuminated by real stories about real people. Reaching agreement is the joyous outcome of a process of discovery and mutual commitment”
Turning conflict into collaboration is a marvelous book! By contrasting the old “win/lose” paradigm with the new “win/win” paradigm, and so the author focuses on a number one problem. Namely: how we solve problems, the mindset, the skill set, and the context are beautifully interwoven in this well-illustrated analysis.
The book emphasis that resolution is taking care of conflict so that there are no lingering aftereffects. It made mentioned that it is better than compromising because the cost of the aftereffects is less. The key challenge is reaching agreement in principle. The author said in the book that this becomes easier when we adopt the values of the ten principles of new paradigm and engage in the dialogues that the resolution model prescribes.
Another important significance of the book “turning conflict into collaboration” is the mentioning of the author when he rejects the adversarial model for legal settlement that holds that “if both sides are unhappy, you probably have a good settlement” he maintains that true resolution provides relief and completeness for both sides. He also provides an entirely new approach to resolving conflict in which no one loses and everyone can go forward quickly and productively.
Upon reading the book, I have realized that the author provides details an entirely new way to deal with conflict, providing an exciting set of tools not only for attorneys, but for everyone who encounters conflicts that can best be resolved promptly and amicably.
The book also emphasis that the attitude you carry about conflict is a threshold that determines how easy it will be for us to accomplish what our ideas desire. Listening and learning our way to the discovery and design of effective resolutions are essential skills. The book also mentioned that paying too much attention to rights, legal standards, and the truth will often promote conflict.
The book also emphasis that, in resolving conflict its is appropriate to listen carefully to all the stories in the situation, including your own, he maintain that listening benefits the other people involved as well as you.
To conclude, the book said, crafting effective agreements is an elegant way of arriving at a shared vision for the future, either as the final step of resolving conflict or as the initial step at the beginning of a new project, transaction or relationship. It maintains that by using the elements of agreement you achieve the phenomenon of agreement, a relationship based on covenant.
Part 2 – Personal Impact & Practical Value
I must emphasis that the book has brought a lot of personal impact and practical value to my life. For instance upon carefully analyzing and putting into practice has changed my thinking and has provided a new mindset in value for my development.
A very practical value gotten from the book has enable me to shift from thinking about problem, fighting and breakdowns to thinking about engagement, listening, creatively and the opportunity for creating values.
Another significance importance of the book which had personal impact can be explained in the context as a young peace-builder working on several conflict situations and leadership developments. I personally had several encounters as far as my work as a conflict analyst is concerned, most cases I have failed to resolved several problems because I don’t consider basic factors but upon reading the book, I have come to the realization that when dealing with people, we must remember that we are not dealing with creatures of logic but dealing with creatures of emotions, creatures of bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.
As a leader I recently encounter leadership problems with the organisation I lead, I realized that I was leading without authority, and this make my work very difficult, I did not get the cooperation that I desire in running my administration as a chairman of an organisation, this brought a lot of misunderstanding between the leadership and the organisation begun to suffer. I took a rigid stand because I wanted to show them that I am the boss and continue to remain the chairman of the organisation but upon finishing reading the book, turning conflict into collaboration, and the phrase “when dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotions, creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity” I have since changed my attitude and shown my members of the executive committee love and has also changed my perspective and treated each of them as creatures with emotion. Ever since I applied this golden rule, relationship has improved and gradually we are getting on.
Honestly, I have been inspired to develop a new perspective towards conflict which leads to avoid the emotional hassle, the cost of unproductive energy, and the waste of resources, putting the acquisition of knowledge into practice, I have come to the realization that no matter how hopeless it seems, no matter how strong the emotional impulse to fight and win, resolution could be discovered within any situation.
I must also emphasis that, practically and important impact I had gain from the book has taught me a model that fosters dignity and integrity; optimize my resources and also foster a culture based on principles and practices of resolution and agreement. But more importantly the book has enabled me to take a personal responsibility for dealing with conflict, diversity and disagreement.
I must say that, the fundamental assumptions on which we have built our institutions and organizations have been transcended. Practically, this has affected my life in most time. I have maintain the opinion that scientific theory has always stood firmly as the foundation for organizational theory, perhaps its time to bring my newly formed organisation; International Centre for Conflict and Human Rights Analysis up to date with current “scientific thinking”
The book is an awakening to my practical values, because I have unsuccessfully tried to established an organisation, because I have adhere to old paradigm of thinking and under the old paradigm and congruent with previous scientific thinking I have old the view that thoughts of facts and evidence in terms of the five physical senses- sight, sound, touch, smell and taste, but upon the thorough reading of the book, “getting to resolution” I have now taken into consideration feelings, emotion and intuition in solving organizational problems.
Another practical value and personal impact I have gotten upon reading the book is that, I have remain one person who believes in keeping information and vital information to myself, I have on several times remain silent when very important information are needed from me, I never find any problem keeping information to myself because I have the accession that he who has information can transform and so I always wanted to be the one to effect transformation but until I read the book and got to the realization that information is king and information is the raw material that leads to resolution and further come to the realization that holding information can lead to mistrust and only escalate conflict.
One important area of the book which I believe contributed to my personal values and had greater impact in my life was the philosophical statement by Gandhi “ IF we keep following the idea of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, we will end up with an eyeless and toothless world” this bring to memory an encounter I will never forget in my entire life.
It all begun when I developed a project proposal for funding to enable me carry out a peace advocacy project in Northern Ghana, upon the completion of the proposal, and identifying potential donors to fund the project, I invited a trusted friend to assist me in sourcing the funding for the project, unknowing to me, this so call trusted friend has conspire with a competitive organisation and stole my project, change the content and sort funding to carry the project in another part of the country, I was shocked to realize he has cheated on me, I discuss the issue with family members and colleagues who advice me to peruse it to the fullest but what I did was to think carefully, and immediately the wise saying of Lord Hubert “ He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for everyman has the need to be forgiven” upon carefully pondering over the above statement, I finally decided to letGHANA go, even though my friend got richer and impact society with the project, I was more happier because I learnt within my heart of forgiveness. I overcame this because I learnt that embracing an attitude of resolution requires a perspective of discovery as you engaged in finding out more about another’s point of view.
To conclude the point on the practical value and important impact of the book “Getting to Resolution” as part of my International Institute for Global Leadership Studies (IIGL level 5) studies, I must emphasis that, I opinion of Frank L Gaines when he said “Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible” this is correct because engaging in the process of resolution ignites sparks of creativity and telling stories put that creativity into play.
Part 3 – Summary
In summary, I have come to the realization that when dealing with people, we must factor in emotions because they are present in all situations. It is also important to say that the attitude you carry about conflict is a threshold that determines how easy it will be for you to accomplish what you desire.
In conclusion, join me to reemphasis the wise saying of Gladstone” We look forward to the time when the power to love will replace the love of power. Then will our world know that blessing of peace”
The Mediator’s Handbook By Jennifer E Beer With Eileen Stief
Assessed by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (IIGL Level 4) Studies (Ghana)
Part 1 – Content Review:
The book mediator’s handbook is indeed truly a “How-to-guide” it simply walks you through the steps to an effective mediation.
I must say that, I have read and use several training manuals in my career as a conflict analyst but I think that the book “Mediator’s Handbook” is an excellent resource for any practicing mediator.
The organisation of materials is well thought out, and includes many examples and summaries throughout the text.
The book “Mediator’s Handbook” offers a thoughtful and exceptionally clear treatment of mediation goals, processes and pitfalls.
The book “Mediator’s Handbook” is clear, concise and thorough, it provides quick reminder of what one need to know before facilitating a mediation session.
I must emphasis that, the book “Mediator’s Handbook” is easy to read and use as a guide, to practice with every page reflecting an impressive depth of experience with the mediation process.
Mediation as described by the author of the book “Mediator’s Handbook” as a process for resolving disputes in which another person helps the parties negotiate as settlement is one of the finest mediation manuals in recent times, the content of the book is best suitable for conflict settlement though mediating processes.
The process of mediation as describe in the book is worth mentioned, another significant importance of the book is the anatomy of a mediation session as discussed in the book, for instance I came to the realisation that mediations are held in a neutral place at a time convenient to the parties and sessions last approximately two hours.
Another important point which needs to emphasis is the uninterrupted time, as mentioned in the book that each person takes a turn speaking while everyone else listen.
One could not end this session without making emphasis on the important issues raised and the well structured of the manual, user friendly and reading friendly too.
Combing information, expertise and careful reflection in many fields, this book this book “Mediator’s Handbook” addresses urgent questions and recommends solutions to enable effective mediation facilitation.
I can say that the “Mediator’s Handbook” is a superb book for any age, but particularly for our current one, where society is so desperately in need of its wisdom and expertise. Mediators Handbook should be required reading for top conflict analyst, mediators, and arbitrators in all sectors-private, public and non profit.
This book will be seen as a major contribution that provides a rare interdisciplinary view of mediation in context, a remarkable thoughtful, provocative and useful manual.
Part 2 – Personal Impact & Practical Value
As I mentioned before, the book “Mediators Handbook” is a manual which has a clear and define guide for conflict resolution and mediation.
Personally the book has some elevates some practical values in me and also touched on personal impact issues. One of the practical values and important impact I got from the book was that, it brought a deep understanding of confidentiality. Why confidentially, I have remain of the opinion that in other to resolve conflict amicably there is the need to discuss and share issues with people whom we could get support from, because I have been working on conflict issues for sometime now, I have old a lot of information but again has shared with friends and colleagues in the field, but one thing I realized upon reading the book “mediator’s handbook” was the upholding of confidentiality and the importance of building trust in mediation processes.
I have come to the realization that, in other to effectively mediate in conflict or deadlock situations, there is the need to uphold confidence because maintaining confidentiality is one important way mediators support their clients or people and the process. This include what you say to others, what records you keep but like I said before I haven’t taken full cognizance of maintaining confidentiality but for now, this has awaken my knowledge
Another important value the book has brought to me was when I traveled to Republic of Togo for a relaxation and fun, I happened to stay with a family but two days into my stay, I realized that two blood sisters had not been on good terms, I tried to investigate and later come to the understanding that, they had not been talking to each other for near three years now but both are pretending because I was around and the need to make me happy.
As a conflict analyst, I did not sleep over the matter when I heard it and so I begun my independent investigation to find out what the course might be, I finally came to the realization that, it was about personality problem.
After my investigation and understand of the issues, I derived a strategy to help resolve the problem, this was when I referred to the Mediator’s Handbook. First of all I make sure in my interaction with each of them, I build trust and confidence among them by creating an enabling environment for them to wholeheartedly share what they feel the problem was and proceeding from there. After I had built and confidence among them, I organized two separate meeting with them to enable me get a rightful understanding of the issues and also to enable me formed an opinion on how they both see the problem and whether or not mediation is needed.
Upon successfully, having meeting with them separately, I managed to put them together and we addressed the issues from a factual and truthful point of view without compromising the truth and being straight forward in my recommendations, for instance, I explained to them the cost involved in handing such interpersonal conflicts and the damage they are causing to their families.
And by the time I was leaving Republic of Togo, they were nice and even eating from the same bowl.
Another practical impact the book “Mediator’s handbook” on me was recently when I was invited by community leaders to held resolve an impasse between two Community Based Organizations who were in developmental partnership for nearly six years of their work, they have together source funding to carry out advocacy and HIV/AIDS projects within their communities but along the way, it some happened and the agreement of partnership was broken, this led to a fierce disagreement and even lost of properties. When I was invited by the Community Assembly man to held solved the problem, I spend time revising my notes on the Mediator’s Handbook, I followed outlined methodologies and approaches and by so doing, I came to the realization that the actual cost of the dispute was mistrust, it was perceived one group is either misusing the funds or playing a fast one on the other and clearly perception case are difficult to deal with, but with the Mediators handbook, I was able to resolve the dispute amicably and both company came to understanding and properties acquired during the partnership where shared among them. The most important significance is that even though they went their separate way, they were happy and still communicates and shares ideas together, which means that no party is aggrieved and that is the more reason why I say that the book had a great impact on my potential
Part 3 – Summary
To conclude, I think that the book “Mediator’s Handbook” should go a long way clearing up many confusions about disputes and how to resolved them and finally this book is recommended to all those working in the areas of conflict and dispute settlements because alive with insights, concepts, new ideas, just teeming with kind of creative approach to the study of mediation that I and of course many others esteem.
Peace Is The Way- By Deepak Chopra
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)\
Part 1 – Content Review:
AS Boutros Boutros Ghali president of the Egyptian Human Rights Commission and a former Secretary-General of the United Nations put it “Thinking about peace is already a powerful means to contribute to peace”
Deepak Chopra has given us a path that we might follow, a way that we might arrive at, the place where we all say that we wanted to be. The book “Peace is the way” outlines practical examples, real life stories of how real life people have lived by the real truth of how life is… that there is a way to live together in harmony, and in peace.
The book “Peace is the way” brings the idea of peace and the power it has over conflict, hatred and despair into focus. The author, Deepak Chopra often mentioned in the book that what you think about and bring into consciousness expands.
There are several significance of importance the book, for instance I know the book is an all important work that we mediators and those working in making peace can – and should – do with ourselves. But more importantly the book will have everyone aim high, be open, let go, make room for new understanding and find an inner peace that will strengthen our ability to world peace with and among others.
“Peace is the way” is a rare book distilled from the authors deep and compassionate experience making and building peace at home, and abroad. When I read it, I knew I was in the presence of a rare and wise spirit.
“Peace is the way” is a treasure trove of scholarly insights mingled with personal testimonies, friends of peace must be grateful to Deepak Chopra for gathering these stellar contributions from research and activist
The book “Peace is the way” a must for every peace maker everywhere.
Part 2 – Personal Impact & Practical Value
On the practical values of the book in my life, when the author talked about forgiveness as a step in the peace process, endorses my practical values that in every dispute solutions, forgiveness remains paramount. Achieving an awakened life is virtually impossible until we put the universal principle of forgiveness to work in our daily, and this has remain my philosophy for years and so the author in his book, “Peace is the way” has an important impact on me because I know that an inability to forgive truly is the cause of many people’s suffering. In working with thousands of individuals over the years I have come to the conclusion that an absence of forgiveness is tantamount to staying imprisoned in an unawakened life.
Another important practical values I consider in the book “ Peace is the way” is the seven practices for peace and how to become a peacemaker, my life has personally been influence by the suggestion of the author, I decided to put that into practise and you cant believe it, I am finding peace and seeing peace within me, this is where I remembered I have been told that my greatest contribution in situations of hostility or open conflict has been less anything I did or said and more my simple presence in a state of deep inner peace. Through the seven practices for peace, I came to the realisation that the first step to make peace is with ourselves hence the suggestion that, we take five minutes to mediate for peace, of each time I sat quietly with my eyes close, I am able to let go resentments and grievances from my heart hence the practical values of the book in my life.
Another important impact I could mentioned of the book was the suggestion of creating peace, I can practically say that creating peace is very important in every direction, my life has been greatly influenced by the book, because I have had several encounters where people around me thought I could respond with violence but many at times I have responded by showing peace and creating harmony among ourselves, practically the book has enable me to also awakened my knowledge and skills in building peace and finding solutions to problems as they come.
Another practical impact I got from the book was that when we tolerate another person, we are actually including them in our relationship with them in spite of our differences. This still denotes a superior or exclusive attitude and does not make the actual human connection that is necessary for a fulfilling relationship. There is still a gap of separation between us and the other person, which often leads to eventual conflict. We are still of the mind that we are right and the other person must be wrong but decide to overlook it, usually hoping they will eventually see things our way and come around. Despite the best intentions, it is still an exclusive mind set.
As the book talked of living in harmony, the word acceptance was a principal value I got as a way of peace as acceptance, is embracing other person precisely because we are different, with the realization that the other person has knowledge, experience and imagination we do not, thereby adding to our own through the sharing of these diversities. This is, to me, a much more proactive approach that yields far better results. It is one based upon inclusion, rather than exclusion.
The author also talked about Terrorism and I think in principles I disagree with the author, we have to go back to the world as it was before 9/11 in order to understand what has occurred since after the Cold War, America became by default the largest power in the world economically, politically and militarily. I think America is guilty of economic colonialism and that this is part of the Capitalist system and what is wrong with it but it is never wise to throw the baby out with the bath water.
No one despises war more than I; most people who oppose war have never experienced it. Those who are against the War on Terror do not understand that, unless you are on the side of the terrorists, you are their enemy and therefore, you and everything you believe in is a target. You are their enemy whether you want to be or not. They made that decision without you. Revisit their stated purposes to see whether or not this makes sense. They want to wipe out all personal freedom and replace it with their own warped form of Islam in order to control all people of the world. These are their words, not mine. Even other Moslems who are not as fanatically extremist as themselves are targets. it isn’t Americans killing Iraqis anymore, it is these terrorists and they are coming in from Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Iran and other countries who believe in this jihad, this holy war. Let’s look at the purposes and processes of their stated holy war.
The jihadist believes that he has not only the right but the responsibility to impose his beliefs upon others and that those who do not readily embrace his form of Islam deserve nothing less than total annihilation. That includes all people, old men, women, children and civilians. They believe they are given that right and responsibility directly from Allah or God! If they die in the process, they go straight to heaven, the ultimate shortcut to Paradise for every Muslim who believes in the cause. Take a good note of that. It is an important factor in understanding the nature of this truly global War on Terrorism. You are on their hit list. Make no mistake about that. You are their enemy and they are yours. One will prevail and the other will not. That is what war is all about, sad to say, the ultimate level of human conflict and contest of wills.
On 9/11, several things happened that changed the world forever as we understood it. It was the first time Americans had ever been attacked in their own country. This was a major wake-up call to many Americans who were totally unaware that there was an enemy force out there that hated us enough to indiscriminately kill 3,000 innocent civilians. It was a shock. That was one factor.
Another aspect of change that happened that day and was very revealing to the discerning eye was how the very nature of war, itself, suddenly changed, and not for the better. War, up until that point was becoming more and more civilized and less and less tolerant of civilian casualties. In this new war, civilians were the primary targets, not military. The rules of engagement had changed and suddenly become very barbaric. I don’t think the American people or the rest of the so-called civilized world understood the full impact of that change. Later, when they saw the other atrocities committed on and off the battlefield, one would think that the message would have become crystal clear but too many people are still looking at the world with pre 9/11 thinking. The world, as we knew it changed that day. The terrorists sent a message that day that their war was you and every other free thinking human being on this planet. They told us you and your loved ones are their sworn enemies and were therefore targets marked for killing. Having no respect for the traditional separation of civilian and combatants, one of the legal cornerstones of modern warfare, they did not wear any uniforms, mingled with civilians, and represented no country or government. They were, by their own declarations and actions, not subject to adherence to any international laws or agreements. This was an all-out war, for them and it is do or die.
Another practical important value from the book was the trends of a new humanity. As I have always maintained that service to humanity is the best work of life. the three s from Sanskirt which described the life of any spiritual person remains the most practical value and importance of the entire book in my life, I have led a quite but useful life and the book “Peace is the way” has helped me in critical situations to understand the concepts of not only living in peace but creating one.
Part 3 – Summary
To summarise the book “Peace is the way” I may say the book provides practical tools to help up know in our hearts that each one of us matters and is important to the other. As I mentioned in the introductory statement, the book “Peace is the way” a must for every peace maker everywhere
Walking through Fire – The Life Of Nawal El Saadawi
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Part 1 – Content Review:
Nawal El Saadawi book “Walking through fire” is a parable of terror and beauty whose symbols and meaning do not yield themselves at once, but which ultimately contain the only redemption imagination to the hideous violence and complexity of not only Cairo but also the confrontation of the third world.
Walking through fire begins as an encounter between history and one seemingly ordinary woman who has inherited its burden. It unfolds as a process of the most extraordinary kind, a ruthless examination of conscious, an imprisoned rejection of cant, a brave and profound acceptance of the tragedy at the heart of the human condition.
This book from my reading, I think grabs you by the throat and will not let go. It is mesmerizing, and it profoundly alters whatever you had felt about life and mankind.
Walking through fire is quite simply, unimaginably good book and I can say that Nawal El Saadawi is a brilliant writer, and her story fills us within or almost unbearable amount of terror, beauty and awe.
As I have manifested before, walking through fire is an astonishing work of literacy notification – beautiful, horrifying, and profound. In one sense it is a compendium of treats of murder stories that carried me into the darkest heart of Cairo. In another it is a pilgrim’s progress, an account of her search for the truth about herself. It is a tale that begins in darkness and gropes its way toward the light because in the end, I came to the realisation that it not the outside things that deform you. It is the choice you make. The only thing you can do is love, it is the only thing that leaves light inside you, instead of the total, obliterating darkness.
I must say that another significance of the book was the fact that the book brought about hidden trouble that went on those days and her courage not to let go of opportunities but walking through a hell of fire to achieve what she wanted to attain, to me, this is very remarkable and worth sharing.
Of course, she shows the passion for justice that has shaped her life and her writings and her effort to help a young girl escape from a terrible fate impose on her by a brutal male tyranny.
I think that Nawal El Saadawi has carved a place for herself in the universal struggle against oppression. Words should not seek to please, to hide the wounds in our bodies, or the shameful moments in our lives. And as she rightly put it in her book “walking through fire” “our bodies may hurt, give us pains , but they can also provoke us to question what we have accepted for thousand of years”
Part 2 – Personal Impact & Practical Value
The entire life of Nawal El Saadawi and her attitude to fear and threats of death reminds the revolutionary days in Ghana, I recall during those days that no one is suppose to walk freely and every news paper article is censored before publishing. Those are horrify days in the history of my country, I recall as a young boy but my uncle who was then a new editor was arrested several times without any justifiable reasons all in the name of suspicions. The book “walking through fire” bring back memories of those days, I remember how we were picked up one night by the military, lined up in front of our house, whipped several times and were make to go back and sleep.
Another important impact I got from the book was the fact that Nawal El Saadawi wrote about love and its appreciation, I could not agree more with her because for me, I think that love is the ultimate gift of life.
Love knows No expectations, No strings attached. No attachments. No conditions. That is what love is, unconditional. I believe there can be no conditions placed on pure love and that we are all capable of loving without conditions.
Trying to find out the practical values of the book, my mind went right to the book “Long Walk to Freedom” I also recall how Nelson Mandela went through difficult challenges just for freedom sake and so I try as much as possible to ask myself, in my own small way what have I done to enable ease the struggle for humanity and poverty. Now the 21st century is battling way poverty and conflict unlike those days when the focus was on apartheid and racism but now poverty and conflict transformation. Like Nawal El Saadawi and Nelson Mandela who never rest in fighting for the people right, I have personally worked in several African countries in search for peace and helping create worth. The actual value from the book “Walking through fire I see as the fighting spirit and the continuous struggle to eradicate poverty particularly among people in Africa and Asia
Another important impact of the book is the talk on flying the dreams, of course every one has dream, like Martin Luther King Jr. how has a big dream that his four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character, that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together, that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood and that one day the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
So do I have also have a big dream of living a selfless life by getting in involve in the struggle of finding solutions to world problems by making poverty history, what dream do we dream as individuals and organisation.
Another important value that came out from reading the book was the fact that, in every threatening situations, people are bound to be afraid as Nawal El Saadawi was, she was so terrified that the fear engulf her and her everyday activity was affected. I recall, when I went into similar challenge during the earlier stages of my life, I have always putted at the back of my mind that people are out there look for me to eliminate because of my work as a human rights activist, I have on several occasion, received several threatening emails and letters from people who perceive as pro government functionaries, truthfully, many at times I feel very sad and feel like running away from Ghana, I have tried several times but each time I think of that, my thoughts reminds me of service to mankind.
Through our struggle in Ghana, now we are all enjoying the daily freedom and the basic rights of an individual even though it wasn’t the best, it was better than in the previous government administration.
Another important impact from the book was the need to form networks and to build effective working relationship with others whiles in your mission, this became clear during the live of Nawal El Saadawi when she finally decided to leave Cairo? She knew the idea was good but it was through networked that she finally got out of Cairo and so in my projects, I have been able to established several networks who assist in one way of other to help promote our work in the struggle for making poverty history.
Part 3 – Summary
Walking through Fire remains one of the most interesting books I have read pointing out the efforts of individuals in promoting and advocating for human rights and justice
I recommend this book to all and sundry working in the area of human rights advocacy since the content and the messages are well outlines
The God Code
Assessed by Sammy Jacobs Abbey, Ghana
Part 1 – Content Review
“As my ancestors planted for me before I was born, so do I plant for those who will come after me” this quotation from the ancient Hebrew Scripture mentioned in the book “God Code- The Secret of our past, the promise of our future” reminds me of my high school ode: “Others have labored and we share their glory, ours is to exploit and add to their gains, so that those who come after will take up the story and play it up”
Gregg Braden shows in his book “God Code” his most effective strategies and techniques for mastering emotions, body and relationship.
The God Code- the Secret of our past, the promise of our future is ultimately a work for peace, crossing the traditional boundaries of science, religion and history; it merges what we know of our past with what we believe of the present into a single unifying principle. While many suspect that a higher power plays a role in our world, knowing that God’s name exist within our bodies offers a realization so deep, so personal, and yet so universal, that it becomes the experience of greater meaning to our lives.
Upon reading the book, I have come to the realization that when we have been hurt, there is usually some loss involved. If another person has treated us badly, we may have lost our sense of safety with him or her, or perhaps the relationship is lost to us altogether. We may have lost our desire to stay connected, or our belief in ourselves as loving ones, our jobs or our homes.
Another significance of the book “God Code- the Secret of our past, the promise of our future” is the metaphoric mentioning of how to change anything in our lives and to quote Orison Swett Marden “The beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread, but every time we repeat the act we strengthen the strand, add to another filament, until it becomes a great cable and binds us irrevocably, thought and act”
If you and I want to change our behavior, there is only one effective way to do it: we must link unbearable and immediate sensations of pain to our old behavior, and incredible and immediate sensation of pleasure to new one. The book also mentioned that in other for a change to be effective, we all experience emotions like boredom or frustration or anger or feeling overwhelmed, and develops strategies for ending these feelings.
The book also emphasis that historians recognized the 20th century as the single bloodiest century in recorded history. More lives were lost to genocide and ethnic cleansing than to natural disasters and the AIDS epidemic combined for same period of time.
And also summarize that in the first year of the 21st Century, humankind is faced with the greatest challenges of recorded history. The prospect of a third global war, drug-resistant disease, and the uncertain results of biological technologies such as human cloning now threaten the future of our entire species.
Part 2 – Personal Impact & Practical Value
One of the practical value and personal impact of the book “God Code- the Secret of our past, the promise of our future” when the book mentioned that people are looking for the right answers in the wrong places, many at times we are so frustrated that we go beyond our principles and values to find answers even at the wrong place. For me, I take solace in the message as written in the Bible – Matthew 7:7 “Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find; knock, and it will be open to you” the most powerful way to control focus is through the use of questions for whatever you ask, your brain provides an answer, whatever you look for, you’ll find. If you ask.
Another important impact of the book I need to emphasis is the fact that the book mentioned that peace is more than the absence of war, this is what practically I ascribed to, and yes peace is more than the absence of war. For me I consider peace to be like a river, running silent and deep, or like the moon’s reflection on the water in a sparkling path of light. In the field of peace studies, the conventional wisdom is that we must distinguish between negative peace and positive peace. Negative peace is the absence of war, the cessation of violent hostilities. This I consider not negative in the sense of bad but rather as a photographic negative- the necessary first step to the production of the final image. I also consider that positive peace presupposes this cease-fire status, and implies a more active pursuit of a dynamic state of social and economic justices, environmental integrity, human rights and empowered processes of governance and development for the benefit of all, not merely a privileged few.
Another important impact and the practical values I got from reading the book is If a person really wants to understand the madness of the modern day, particularly that of Western civilization, then they have to get ruthlessly honest about what’s going on in the daily world Clear thinking and observation outside the box of established norms is fully necessary. But to do that one must take a clear look at history, and what our probable future is as a species.
The history of Western civilization is that of continual trauma, social unrest and unnecessary war, combined with the bogus ideologies of unnatural, religious thinking. Even when the Roman Empire died out, it’s legacy continued on in the form of the so-called, “Holy Roman Empire” with Crusades sponsored by the Church against Nature, Muslim invasion, and to promote all manner of other wars internal to Europe. Rome was sacked, but the lust for ruler-ship at the tip of a sword remained alive and well. Today we find that the same traumas continue to be passed down from generation to generation. They linger on in the form of social unrest, unnecessary battles and hollow religious ritual, so much so that the informed person cannot honestly say we’ve progressed at all since the gladiatorial games. Even worse, all these are bound up with the shallowness of consumerism found in television ads, “reality” TV shows and fashion magazine hype. The fascist self-superiority of old Rome, and in fact of ALL EMPIRES, is the same one we find in the modern attitude that Christianity is Superior and Divinely Guided, while everyone else needs to be “saved
There has been no one event or series of events that have occurred in past millennia, which could completely reveal the reason why modern humanity is in such an awful mess. What we see today is the accumulation of the wrong intent of many centuries, (karma). But there are some historical highlights worth mentioning in greater details
Another impact values from the book is that If we are to realize the modern day as based in large part by these historical highlights, it is not difficult to understand that at one time humanity was given the choice between spiritual truth and that of materialistic, world dominating egotism. They were given a choice by the teachings of various spiritual teachers throughout history…between false religious myth, and the direct experience of God and Truth, based upon right intention and right living. Humanity has, in the vast majority, made it’s choice. It chooses materialism and false religious myth over the direct experience of truth. If ever there was an example of this in the choosing of destructive self indulgence at the cost of all else, the glorification of ego and the mindless following of religious folly, it is the modern day.
Modern Christianity is about placating the still lingering guilt, (or sin, if you will) of the original (and on-going) rejection of Christ and all that is true, over all that is false. That is why modern Christianity bears no resemblance whatsoever to the teachings, methods, states of consciousness, or advocated lifestyle of Christ and other spiritual Masters. That is also why consumerism, materialism and the lust for empire rule the day. Even bombs are dropped in the name of God today. Wars of aggression are fought for the supposed sake of “liberty, justice and democracy for all” in unprovoked, “pre-emptive” conquests, no less brutal than under the rule of the Caesars.
Part 3 – Summary
Every page of the book “God Code” bursts with well-researched and immediately practical guidance for concentrating your thoughts and emotions on the attainment of spirituality.
As history demonstrates, religion and scriptural study are more often used as places of refuge from responsibility, than the actual embodiment of spiritual wisdom. Dogmas and the artificial divisions they contain are the very source of wars, ethnic conflicts, misery and destruction throughout history. The blind insistence upon religious intolerance has resulted in most of the horrors of human civilization, [such as the warfare in the Middle East, the Dark Ages, and the “conversion”, (destruction) of the Native peoples of the world throughout history]. Religious orthodoxy continues to be, as it is said, “the opiate of the masses” as a convenient distraction from the Truth. Such distraction is convenient because it always places the ultimate responsibility for ones’ actions outside of the self. Such doctrines are the very center for darkness and dis-empowerment in our world, and they have no place for an enlightened humanity.
Getting To Resolution – Turning Conflict Into Collaboration
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Part 1 – Content Review:
To quote Nina Link, “The power of reaching collaboration by given up the need to win is illuminated by real stories about real people. Reaching agreement is the joyous outcome of a process of discovery and mutual commitment”
Turning conflict into collaboration is a marvelous book! By contrasting the old “win/lose” paradigm with the new “win/win” paradigm, and so the author focuses on a number one problem. Namely: how we solve problems, the mindset, the skill set, and the context are beautifully interwoven in this well-illustrated analysis.
The book emphasis that resolution is taking care of conflict so that there are no lingering aftereffects. It made mentioned that it is better than compromising because the cost of the aftereffects is less. The key challenge is reaching agreement in principle. The author said in the book that this becomes easier when we adopt the values of the ten principles of new paradigm and engage in the dialogues that the resolution model prescribes.
Another important significance of the book “turning conflict into collaboration” is the mentioning of the author when he rejects the adversarial model for legal settlement that holds that “if both sides are unhappy, you probably have a good settlement” he maintains that true resolution provides relief and completeness for both sides. He also provides an entirely new approach to resolving conflict in which no one loses and everyone can go forward quickly and productively.
Upon reading the book, I have realized that the author provides details an entirely new way to deal with conflict, providing an exciting set of tools not only for attorneys, but for everyone who encounters conflicts that can best be resolved promptly and amicably.
The book also emphasis that the attitude you carry about conflict is a threshold that determines how easy it will be for us to accomplish what our ideas desire. Listening and learning our way to the discovery and design of effective resolutions are essential skills. The book also mentioned that paying too much attention to rights, legal standards, and the truth will often promote conflict.
The book also emphasis that, in resolving conflict its is appropriate to listen carefully to all the stories in the situation, including your own, he maintain that listening benefits the other people involved as well as you.
To conclude, the book said, crafting effective agreements is an elegant way of arriving at a shared vision for the future, either as the final step of resolving conflict or as the initial step at the beginning of a new project, transaction or relationship. It maintains that by using the elements of agreement you achieve the phenomenon of agreement, a relationship based on covenant.
Part 2 – Personal Impact & Practical Value
I must emphasis that the book has brought a lot of personal impact and practical value to my life. For instance upon carefully analyzing and putting into practice has changed my thinking and has provided a new mindset in value for my development.
A very practical value gotten from the book has enable me to shift from thinking about problem, fighting and breakdowns to thinking about engagement, listening, creatively and the opportunity for creating values.
Another significance importance of the book which had personal impact can be explained in the context as a young peace-builder working on several conflict situations and leadership developments. I personally had several encounters as far as my work as a conflict analyst is concerned, most cases I have failed to resolved several problems because I don’t consider basic factors but upon reading the book, I have come to the realization that when dealing with people, we must remember that we are not dealing with creatures of logic but dealing with creatures of emotions, creatures of bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.
As a leader I recently encounter leadership problems with the organisation I lead, I realized that I was leading without authority, and this make my work very difficult, I did not get the cooperation that I desire in running my administration as a chairman of an organisation, this brought a lot of misunderstanding between the leadership and the organisation begun to suffer. I took a rigid stand because I wanted to show them that I am the boss and continue to remain the chairman of the organisation but upon finishing reading the book, turning conflict into collaboration, and the phrase “when dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotions, creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity” I have since changed my attitude and shown my members of the executive committee love and has also changed my perspective and treated each of them as creatures with emotion. Ever since I applied this golden rule, relationship has improved and gradually we are getting on.
Honestly, I have been inspired to develop a new perspective towards conflict which leads to avoid the emotional hassle, the cost of unproductive energy, and the waste of resources, putting the acquisition of knowledge into practice, I have come to the realization that no matter how hopeless it seems, no matter how strong the emotional impulse to fight and win, resolution could be discovered within any situation.
I must also emphasis that, practically and important impact I had gain from the book has taught me a model that fosters dignity and integrity; optimize my resources and also foster a culture based on principles and practices of resolution and agreement. But more importantly the book has enabled me to take a personal responsibility for dealing with conflict, diversity and disagreement.
I must say that, the fundamental assumptions on which we have built our institutions and organizations have been transcended. Practically, this has affected my life in most time. I have maintain the opinion that scientific theory has always stood firmly as the foundation for organizational theory, perhaps its time to bring my newly formed organisation; International Centre for Conflict and Human Rights Analysis up to date with current “scientific thinking”
The book is an awakening to my practical values, because I have unsuccessfully tried to established an organisation, because I have adhere to old paradigm of thinking and under the old paradigm and congruent with previous scientific thinking I have old the view that thoughts of facts and evidence in terms of the five physical senses- sight, sound, touch, smell and taste, but upon the thorough reading of the book, “getting to resolution” I have now taken into consideration feelings, emotion and intuition in solving organizational problems.
Another practical value and personal impact I have gotten upon reading the book is that, I have remain one person who believes in keeping information and vital information to myself, I have on several times remain silent when very important information are needed from me, I never find any problem keeping information to myself because I have the accession that he who has information can transform and so I always wanted to be the one to effect transformation but until I read the book and got to the realization that information is king and information is the raw material that leads to resolution and further come to the realization that holding information can lead to mistrust and only escalate conflict.
One important area of the book which I believe contributed to my personal values and had greater impact in my life was the philosophical statement by Gandhi “ IF we keep following the idea of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, we will end up with an eyeless and toothless world” this bring to memory an encounter I will never forget in my entire life.
It all begun when I developed a project proposal for funding to enable me carry out a peace advocacy project in Northern Ghana, upon the completion of the proposal, and identifying potential donors to fund the project, I invited a trusted friend to assist me in sourcing the funding for the project, unknowing to me, this so call trusted friend has conspire with a competitive organisation and stole my project, change the content and sort funding to carry the project in another part of the country, I was shocked to realize he has cheated on me, I discuss the issue with family members and colleagues who advice me to peruse it to the fullest but what I did was to think carefully, and immediately the wise saying of Lord Hubert “ He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for everyman has the need to be forgiven” upon carefully pondering over the above statement, I finally decided to letGHANA go, even though my friend got richer and impact society with the project, I was more happier because I learnt within my heart of forgiveness. I overcame this because I learnt that embracing an attitude of resolution requires a perspective of discovery as you engaged in finding out more about another’s point of view.
To conclude the point on the practical value and important impact of the book “Getting to Resolution” as part of my International Institute for Global Leadership Studies (IIGL level 5) studies, I must emphasis that, I opinion of Frank L Gaines when he said “Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible” this is correct because engaging in the process of resolution ignites sparks of creativity and telling stories put that creativity into play.
Part 3 – Summary
In summary, I have come to the realization that when dealing with people, we must factor in emotions because they are present in all situations. It is also important to say that the attitude you carry about conflict is a threshold that determines how easy it will be for you to accomplish what you desire.
In conclusion, join me to reemphasis the wise saying of Gladstone” We look forward to the time when the power to love will replace the love of power. Then will our world know that blessing of peace”
The Mediator’s Handbook By Jennifer E Beer With Eileen Stief
Assessed by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (IIGL Level 4) Studies (Ghana)
Part 1 – Content Review:
The book mediator’s handbook is indeed truly a “How-to-guide” it simply walks you through the steps to an effective mediation.
I must say that, I have read and use several training manuals in my career as a conflict analyst but I think that the book “Mediator’s Handbook” is an excellent resource for any practicing mediator.
The organisation of materials is well thought out, and includes many examples and summaries throughout the text.
The book “Mediator’s Handbook” offers a thoughtful and exceptionally clear treatment of mediation goals, processes and pitfalls.
The book “Mediator’s Handbook” is clear, concise and thorough, it provides quick reminder of what one need to know before facilitating a mediation session.
I must emphasis that, the book “Mediator’s Handbook” is easy to read and use as a guide, to practice with every page reflecting an impressive depth of experience with the mediation process.
Mediation as described by the author of the book “Mediator’s Handbook” as a process for resolving disputes in which another person helps the parties negotiate as settlement is one of the finest mediation manuals in recent times, the content of the book is best suitable for conflict settlement though mediating processes.
The process of mediation as describe in the book is worth mentioned, another significant importance of the book is the anatomy of a mediation session as discussed in the book, for instance I came to the realisation that mediations are held in a neutral place at a time convenient to the parties and sessions last approximately two hours.
Another important point which needs to emphasis is the uninterrupted time, as mentioned in the book that each person takes a turn speaking while everyone else listen.
One could not end this session without making emphasis on the important issues raised and the well structured of the manual, user friendly and reading friendly too.
Combing information, expertise and careful reflection in many fields, this book this book “Mediator’s Handbook” addresses urgent questions and recommends solutions to enable effective mediation facilitation.
I can say that the “Mediator’s Handbook” is a superb book for any age, but particularly for our current one, where society is so desperately in need of its wisdom and expertise. Mediators Handbook should be required reading for top conflict analyst, mediators, and arbitrators in all sectors-private, public and non profit.
This book will be seen as a major contribution that provides a rare interdisciplinary view of mediation in context, a remarkable thoughtful, provocative and useful manual.
Part 2 – Personal Impact & Practical Value
As I mentioned before, the book “Mediators Handbook” is a manual which has a clear and define guide for conflict resolution and mediation.
Personally the book has some elevates some practical values in me and also touched on personal impact issues. One of the practical values and important impact I got from the book was that, it brought a deep understanding of confidentiality. Why confidentially, I have remain of the opinion that in other to resolve conflict amicably there is the need to discuss and share issues with people whom we could get support from, because I have been working on conflict issues for sometime now, I have old a lot of information but again has shared with friends and colleagues in the field, but one thing I realized upon reading the book “mediator’s handbook” was the upholding of confidentiality and the importance of building trust in mediation processes.
I have come to the realization that, in other to effectively mediate in conflict or deadlock situations, there is the need to uphold confidence because maintaining confidentiality is one important way mediators support their clients or people and the process. This include what you say to others, what records you keep but like I said before I haven’t taken full cognizance of maintaining confidentiality but for now, this has awaken my knowledge
Another important value the book has brought to me was when I traveled to Republic of Togo for a relaxation and fun, I happened to stay with a family but two days into my stay, I realized that two blood sisters had not been on good terms, I tried to investigate and later come to the understanding that, they had not been talking to each other for near three years now but both are pretending because I was around and the need to make me happy.
As a conflict analyst, I did not sleep over the matter when I heard it and so I begun my independent investigation to find out what the course might be, I finally came to the realization that, it was about personality problem.
After my investigation and understand of the issues, I derived a strategy to help resolve the problem, this was when I referred to the Mediator’s Handbook. First of all I make sure in my interaction with each of them, I build trust and confidence among them by creating an enabling environment for them to wholeheartedly share what they feel the problem was and proceeding from there. After I had built and confidence among them, I organized two separate meeting with them to enable me get a rightful understanding of the issues and also to enable me formed an opinion on how they both see the problem and whether or not mediation is needed.
Upon successfully, having meeting with them separately, I managed to put them together and we addressed the issues from a factual and truthful point of view without compromising the truth and being straight forward in my recommendations, for instance, I explained to them the cost involved in handing such interpersonal conflicts and the damage they are causing to their families.
And by the time I was leaving Republic of Togo, they were nice and even eating from the same bowl.
Another practical impact the book “Mediator’s handbook” on me was recently when I was invited by community leaders to held resolve an impasse between two Community Based Organizations who were in developmental partnership for nearly six years of their work, they have together source funding to carry out advocacy and HIV/AIDS projects within their communities but along the way, it some happened and the agreement of partnership was broken, this led to a fierce disagreement and even lost of properties. When I was invited by the Community Assembly man to held solved the problem, I spend time revising my notes on the Mediator’s Handbook, I followed outlined methodologies and approaches and by so doing, I came to the realization that the actual cost of the dispute was mistrust, it was perceived one group is either misusing the funds or playing a fast one on the other and clearly perception case are difficult to deal with, but with the Mediators handbook, I was able to resolve the dispute amicably and both company came to understanding and properties acquired during the partnership where shared among them. The most important significance is that even though they went their separate way, they were happy and still communicates and shares ideas together, which means that no party is aggrieved and that is the more reason why I say that the book had a great impact on my potential
Part 3 – Summary
To conclude, I think that the book “Mediator’s Handbook” should go a long way clearing up many confusions about disputes and how to resolved them and finally this book is recommended to all those working in the areas of conflict and dispute settlements because alive with insights, concepts, new ideas, just teeming with kind of creative approach to the study of mediation that I and of course many others esteem.
Peace Is The Way- By Deepak Chopra
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Part 1 – Content Review:
AS Boutros Boutros Ghali president of the Egyptian Human Rights Commission and a former Secretary-General of the United Nations put it “Thinking about peace is already a powerful means to contribute to peace”
Deepak Chopra has given us a path that we might follow, a way that we might arrive at, the place where we all say that we wanted to be. The book “Peace is the way” outlines practical examples, real life stories of how real life people have lived by the real truth of how life is… that there is a way to live together in harmony, and in peace.
The book “Peace is the way” brings the idea of peace and the power it has over conflict, hatred and despair into focus. The author, Deepak Chopra often mentioned in the book that what you think about and bring into consciousness expands.
There are several significance of importance the book, for instance I know the book is an all important work that we mediators and those working in making peace can – and should – do with ourselves. But more importantly the book will have everyone aim high, be open, let go, make room for new understanding and find an inner peace that will strengthen our ability to world peace with and among others.
“Peace is the way” is a rare book distilled from the authors deep and compassionate experience making and building peace at home, and abroad. When I read it, I knew I was in the presence of a rare and wise spirit.
“Peace is the way” is a treasure trove of scholarly insights mingled with personal testimonies, friends of peace must be grateful to Deepak Chopra for gathering these stellar contributions from research and activist
The book “Peace is the way” a must for every peace maker everywhere.
Part 2 – Personal Impact & Practical Value
On the practical values of the book in my life, when the author talked about forgiveness as a step in the peace process, endorses my practical values that in every dispute solutions, forgiveness remains paramount. Achieving an awakened life is virtually impossible until we put the universal principle of forgiveness to work in our daily, and this has remain my philosophy for years and so the author in his book, “Peace is the way” has an important impact on me because I know that an inability to forgive truly is the cause of many people’s suffering. In working with thousands of individuals over the years I have come to the conclusion that an absence of forgiveness is tantamount to staying imprisoned in an unawakened life.
Another important practical values I consider in the book “ Peace is the way” is the seven practices for peace and how to become a peacemaker, my life has personally been influence by the suggestion of the author, I decided to put that into practise and you cant believe it, I am finding peace and seeing peace within me, this is where I remembered I have been told that my greatest contribution in situations of hostility or open conflict has been less anything I did or said and more my simple presence in a state of deep inner peace. Through the seven practices for peace, I came to the realisation that the first step to make peace is with ourselves hence the suggestion that, we take five minutes to mediate for peace, of each time I sat quietly with my eyes close, I am able to let go resentments and grievances from my heart hence the practical values of the book in my life.
Another important impact I could mentioned of the book was the suggestion of creating peace, I can practically say that creating peace is very important in every direction, my life has been greatly influenced by the book, because I have had several encounters where people around me thought I could respond with violence but many at times I have responded by showing peace and creating harmony among ourselves, practically the book has enable me to also awakened my knowledge and skills in building peace and finding solutions to problems as they come.
Another practical impact I got from the book was that when we tolerate another person, we are actually including them in our relationship with them in spite of our differences. This still denotes a superior or exclusive attitude and does not make the actual human connection that is necessary for a fulfilling relationship. There is still a gap of separation between us and the other person, which often leads to eventual conflict. We are still of the mind that we are right and the other person must be wrong but decide to overlook it, usually hoping they will eventually see things our way and come around. Despite the best intentions, it is still an exclusive mind set.
As the book talked of living in harmony, the word acceptance was a principal value I got as a way of peace as acceptance, is embracing other person precisely because we are different, with the realization that the other person has knowledge, experience and imagination we do not, thereby adding to our own through the sharing of these diversities. This is, to me, a much more proactive approach that yields far better results. It is one based upon inclusion, rather than exclusion.
The author also talked about Terrorism and I think in principles I disagree with the author, we have to go back to the world as it was before 9/11 in order to understand what has occurred since after the Cold War, America became by default the largest power in the world economically, politically and militarily. I think America is guilty of economic colonialism and that this is part of the Capitalist system and what is wrong with it but it is never wise to throw the baby out with the bath water.
No one despises war more than I; most people who oppose war have never experienced it. Those who are against the War on Terror do not understand that, unless you are on the side of the terrorists, you are their enemy and therefore, you and everything you believe in is a target. You are their enemy whether you want to be or not. They made that decision without you. Revisit their stated purposes to see whether or not this makes sense. They want to wipe out all personal freedom and replace it with their own warped form of Islam in order to control all people of the world. These are their words, not mine. Even other Moslems who are not as fanatically extremist as themselves are targets. it isn’t Americans killing Iraqis anymore, it is these terrorists and they are coming in from Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Iran and other countries who believe in this jihad, this holy war. Let’s look at the purposes and processes of their stated holy war.
The jihadist believes that he has not only the right but the responsibility to impose his beliefs upon others and that those who do not readily embrace his form of Islam deserve nothing less than total annihilation. That includes all people, old men, women, children and civilians. They believe they are given that right and responsibility directly from Allah or God! If they die in the process, they go straight to heaven, the ultimate shortcut to Paradise for every Muslim who believes in the cause. Take a good note of that. It is an important factor in understanding the nature of this truly global War on Terrorism. You are on their hit list. Make no mistake about that. You are their enemy and they are yours. One will prevail and the other will not. That is what war is all about, sad to say, the ultimate level of human conflict and contest of wills.
On 9/11, several things happened that changed the world forever as we understood it. It was the first time Americans had ever been attacked in their own country. This was a major wake-up call to many Americans who were totally unaware that there was an enemy force out there that hated us enough to indiscriminately kill 3,000 innocent civilians. It was a shock. That was one factor.
Another aspect of change that happened that day and was very revealing to the discerning eye was how the very nature of war, itself, suddenly changed, and not for the better. War, up until that point was becoming more and more civilized and less and less tolerant of civilian casualties. In this new war, civilians were the primary targets, not military. The rules of engagement had changed and suddenly become very barbaric. I don’t think the American people or the rest of the so-called civilized world understood the full impact of that change. Later, when they saw the other atrocities committed on and off the battlefield, one would think that the message would have become crystal clear but too many people are still looking at the world with pre 9/11 thinking. The world, as we knew it changed that day. The terrorists sent a message that day that their war was you and every other free thinking human being on this planet. They told us you and your loved ones are their sworn enemies and were therefore targets marked for killing. Having no respect for the traditional separation of civilian and combatants, one of the legal cornerstones of modern warfare, they did not wear any uniforms, mingled with civilians, and represented no country or government. They were, by their own declarations and actions, not subject to adherence to any international laws or agreements. This was an all-out war, for them and it is do or die.
Another practical important value from the book was the trends of a new humanity. As I have always maintained that service to humanity is the best work of life. the three s from Sanskirt which described the life of any spiritual person remains the most practical value and importance of the entire book in my life, I have led a quite but useful life and the book “Peace is the way” has helped me in critical situations to understand the concepts of not only living in peace but creating one.
Part 3 – Summary
To summarise the book “Peace is the way” I may say the book provides practical tools to help up know in our hearts that each one of us matters and is important to the other. As I mentioned in the introductory statement, the book “Peace is the way” a must for every peace maker everywhere
Walking through Fire – The Life Of Nawal El Saadawi
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Part 1 – Content Review:
Nawal El Saadawi book “Walking through fire” is a parable of terror and beauty whose symbols and meaning do not yield themselves at once, but which ultimately contain the only redemption imagination to the hideous violence and complexity of not only Cairo but also the confrontation of the third world.
Walking through fire begins as an encounter between history and one seemingly ordinary woman who has inherited its burden. It unfolds as a process of the most extraordinary kind, a ruthless examination of conscious, an imprisoned rejection of cant, a brave and profound acceptance of the tragedy at the heart of the human condition.
This book from my reading, I think grabs you by the throat and will not let go. It is mesmerizing, and it profoundly alters whatever you had felt about life and mankind.
Walking through fire is quite simply, unimaginably good book and I can say that Nawal El Saadawi is a brilliant writer, and her story fills us within or almost unbearable amount of terror, beauty and awe.
As I have manifested before, walking through fire is an astonishing work of literacy notification – beautiful, horrifying, and profound. In one sense it is a compendium of treats of murder stories that carried me into the darkest heart of Cairo. In another it is a pilgrim’s progress, an account of her search for the truth about herself. It is a tale that begins in darkness and gropes its way toward the light because in the end, I came to the realisation that it not the outside things that deform you. It is the choice you make. The only thing you can do is love, it is the only thing that leaves light inside you, instead of the total, obliterating darkness.
I must say that another significance of the book was the fact that the book brought about hidden trouble that went on those days and her courage not to let go of opportunities but walking through a hell of fire to achieve what she wanted to attain, to me, this is very remarkable and worth sharing.
Of course, she shows the passion for justice that has shaped her life and her writings and her effort to help a young girl escape from a terrible fate impose on her by a brutal male tyranny.
I think that Nawal El Saadawi has carved a place for herself in the universal struggle against oppression. Words should not seek to please, to hide the wounds in our bodies, or the shameful moments in our lives. And as she rightly put it in her book “walking through fire” “our bodies may hurt, give us pains , but they can also provoke us to question what we have accepted for thousand of years”
Part 2 – Personal Impact & Practical Value
The entire life of Nawal El Saadawi and her attitude to fear and threats of death reminds the revolutionary days in Ghana, I recall during those days that no one is suppose to walk freely and every news paper article is censored before publishing. Those are horrify days in the history of my country, I recall as a young boy but my uncle who was then a new editor was arrested several times without any justifiable reasons all in the name of suspicions. The book “walking through fire” bring back memories of those days, I remember how we were picked up one night by the military, lined up in front of our house, whipped several times and were make to go back and sleep.
Another important impact I got from the book was the fact that Nawal El Saadawi wrote about love and its appreciation, I could not agree more with her because for me, I think that love is the ultimate gift of life.
Love knows No expectations, No strings attached. No attachments. No conditions. That is what love is, unconditional. I believe there can be no conditions placed on pure love and that we are all capable of loving without conditions.
Trying to find out the practical values of the book, my mind went right to the book “Long Walk to Freedom” I also recall how Nelson Mandela went through difficult challenges just for freedom sake and so I try as much as possible to ask myself, in my own small way what have I done to enable ease the struggle for humanity and poverty. Now the 21st century is battling way poverty and conflict unlike those days when the focus was on apartheid and racism but now poverty and conflict transformation. Like Nawal El Saadawi and Nelson Mandela who never rest in fighting for the people right, I have personally worked in several African countries in search for peace and helping create worth. The actual value from the book “Walking through fire I see as the fighting spirit and the continuous struggle to eradicate poverty particularly among people in Africa and Asia
Another important impact of the book is the talk on flying the dreams, of course every one has dream, like Martin Luther King Jr. how has a big dream that his four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character, that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together, that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood and that one day the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
So do I have also have a big dream of living a selfless life by getting in involve in the struggle of finding solutions to world problems by making poverty history, what dream do we dream as individuals and organisation.
Another important value that came out from reading the book was the fact that, in every threatening situations, people are bound to be afraid as Nawal El Saadawi was, she was so terrified that the fear engulf her and her everyday activity was affected. I recall, when I went into similar challenge during the earlier stages of my life, I have always putted at the back of my mind that people are out there look for me to eliminate because of my work as a human rights activist, I have on several occasion, received several threatening emails and letters from people who perceive as pro government functionaries, truthfully, many at times I feel very sad and feel like running away from Ghana, I have tried several times but each time I think of that, my thoughts reminds me of service to mankind.
Through our struggle in Ghana, now we are all enjoying the daily freedom and the basic rights of an individual even though it wasn’t the best, it was better than in the previous government administration.
Another important impact from the book was the need to form networks and to build effective working relationship with others whiles in your mission, this became clear during the live of Nawal El Saadawi when she finally decided to leave Cairo? She knew the idea was good but it was through networked that she finally got out of Cairo and so in my projects, I have been able to established several networks who assist in one way of other to help promote our work in the struggle for making poverty history.
Part 3 – Summary
Walking through Fire remains one of the most interesting books I have read pointing out the efforts of individuals in promoting and advocating for human rights and justice
I recommend this book to all and sundry working in the area of human rights advocacy since the content and the messages are well outlines
The Leadership Pill
The Missing Ingredient In Motivating People Today
Assessed by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Part 1 – Content Review:
Philosophically and cognitively, a leader is simply someone who leads. The question does not arise as to whether for a good or bad outcome. Here, leadership is simply headship, rulership, guidance, influence and inspiration.
In a religious vein, leadership is conceptualized by the Bible in Exodus 18:21 as a responsibility that must be entrusted to persons “who are trustworthy and who hate bribe” That was Jethro, Moses father-in-law talking.
In politics, a leader must be highly alert to his or her power base, must constantly remind himself or herself that policies is a power winning business, and must be astute and manipulative enough to gain and retain power. Political power gives access to economic and financial benefits, which in turn lead to social benefits and fame.
Military, the leader is expected to guide and inspire his or her men to win battles and wars, whether or not a war is socially, legally and morally justifiable, and to constantly deter their opponents from becoming unbecoming.
The Leadership Pill written by Ken Blanchard and Marc Muchnick is an appropriate book which ought to be read by each and every executive officer and anyone who see him/herself as a leader.
The book emphasis on several leadership strategies which to me seems very relevant and significant towards the upbringing of today’s leadership
The context by which the Leadership Pill was challenged by Effective Leader clearly shows how significant situations can be. One significant emphasis is the mentioned that leadership is not just what happens when you’re there, it what happens when you are not there. I consider this statement very relevant because a leader who does everything to the betterment of an organisation is not a leader but rather a failed leader and which means that a leaders should always be in a good position to have good team building whiles in office so that in the absence of the leader, the team can work effectively without even the notice of the absence of the leader.
Another important significance which needs to be emphasized is the mentioned that profit is the applause you get for taking care of your customers and creating a motivating environment for people, this is very rare, because many at times it is said that Most business people see customer satisfaction as something that will be handled by someone else, such as the customer service department. Customer satisfaction is everyone’s job; it has to be on the minds of all employees every time they interact with customers, hence the famous adage that customer is always right, but again there is the need to discuss motivation as a tool for business growth, it is really important to note that organisational motivation plays very important role in the maximization of organisational profits
Last but not the least the mentioned that allowing people know that what they do is important is significant for emphasis, individuals and team members feel highly motivated when they feel their works are been appreciated and consider important
Part 2 – Personal Impact & Practical Value
The book Leadership Pill is a book I will personally recommended that every person in leadership position reads, the book has really outlive my personal development as a leader, as a leader working with young people across Africa and the leadership methodologies and strategies I used in governing my followers has completely changed, for instance I have been one person who believes that a leader is somebody who basically leads irrespective of his/her leadership style but upon reading the Leadership Pill, I have had a redefinition of what it takes to become a leader. On the practical value of the book on my life, I have adopted an approached where I now engaged my team members into decision making and even given them the opportunity chair meetings to get them empowered.
Another personal impact the book has had on me is the approached used by the Effective Leader, he took the challenge and applied pill-free and it really worked, the impact and the practical value in my life is that as leader we must continue to push challenge and adopted other strategies in effectively discharge my duties
Another significant impact on me upon reading the book, The Leadership Pill the combination of Integrity, Partnership and Affirmation and the perfecting blending of them into making a real impact. I have personally followed the principles of integrity in discharging my duties and so combination of partnership and affirmation will definitely enhance my leadership
Part 3 – Summary
In summary I may say that leadership arouse passion. The exercise and even the study of leadership stir feelings because leadership engages our values, of course the term itself is a value-laden
The economic uncertain, education in decline, cities under siege, crime and poverty spiralling upwards, international relations rolling; we look to leaders for solutions and when they do not deliver, we add their failure to our list of woes, therefore I summary, when we want to practice leadership, we much choose the effective leader approach
The Power Of Failure
27 Ways To Turn Life’s Setbacks Into Success
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
Part 1 – Content Review:
The book power of failure and the 27 ways to turn life setbacks into success indeed is enough to stop many people in the track and lead them to give up without even trying.
The book of course, inspirationally captures very practical and powerful strategies for turning failure into success and of course the power of failure mentioned several approaches and strategies which I consider very significance for discussion. For instance the author mentioned that failure is one of the most dreaded words in English language and the very idea of failing is enough to stop most people in the track. If further mentioned that it can cause the majority to simply pack up, turn around and retreat without even trying. I strongly support the assertion by the author, many at times, the fact that failure thoughts get into your mind, you are considered failure already.
Another significance of the book is that, success on the other hand is described as a newly magical idea for most people and of course although most people hate to be labelled a failure and love to be labelled a success, it is only through seemingly failure that most of life’s greatest success are achieved
The book also mentioned that sometimes failure is tied to a lack of competence to perform in the face of a specific challenge, but seeming failures can be a powerful way to learn and ironically provides the means of life’s greatest breakthroughs and success.
I strongly agreed with the Tom Watson CEO of IBM when he said that an aspiring young man – in order to be more successful – should double fail. Of course this may look unthinkable in the mind of any rational being, but upon carefully thinking of the suggestion I have come to the realisation that it contains a great deal of wisdom. A failure should not be viewed as the end of the story but instead as a stepping stone to a larger success.
I am still ascribing to the assertion that you must experience failure in order to succeed and as the writer puts it “if you expect to learn without making a mistake, you are in for an unpleasant surprise”
As Napoleon Hill once mentioned in his book, “Success through positive mental attitude” effective learning of challenging activities largely depends on how we think about failure. Just as we can develop the habits in our behaviour, we also develop habits in our thoughts and as many of us have powerful thoughts habbit about failure that include negativity and self-criticism and these demoralises us.
Part 2 – Personal Impact & Practical Value
Practically, reading the book the power of failure and the 27 ways to turn life’s setbacks into success has done a great transformation in my practical life and has always wakened my personal values. I am one person who does not let things easily go and because of that I am always having problems with individuals and organisations but upon reflecting on the book, the power of failure, I can tell you for a fact that I now have a different orientation with regards to situations and approaches in dealing with failures.
Another practical value and the personal impact the book had on me is that, I have been able to distinguish what my energies are and also build up on my thoughts and beliefs, for instance I have come to the realisation that my energy is based on my thoughts and beliefs. My subconscious mind picks up on my thoughts and beliefs and goes out and creates situations that correspond to my thoughts and beliefs. Other people then pick up my energy on a subconscious level – they are not consciously aware of my energy but they just develop a feeling about me – based on my energy. But of course the book power of failure has let me realised that If you have negative energy you’ll attract negative people and negative situations. At the same time you’ll repel positive people and positive situations.
Here is another significant impact the book had on me, upon reading over the book, I have once again come to the realisation that if you constantly think of the worst, if you find that you are regularly negative, if you don’t believe that you can ever achieve anything, if you don’t believe that anybody can be good, if you constantly complain, if you always see the worst in situations, if you regularly put others down, if you’re just a negative person you will develop negative energy and in the end you’ll only attract more negative situations into your life.
I can confidently say that I have a new orientation and redefine my definition for failure because I am now convinced that if I don’t change my attitude to failure and limitation, I will end up attracting negative energy which will only make life miserable for me and in the end make it even more difficult for me to achieve my goals and create the changes that I want.
I have decided to make it a daily habit to look for the positive qualities in people that I interact with.
Part 3 – Summary
In summary, the book power of failure can help highly successful people learn from failure and use their setbacks to succeed. The clearly stated 27 ways of turning life’s setback into success is well articulate and presented for personal development and challenged.
I shall continue to recommend that the book power of failure should be read by all and sundry especially every motivational speaker and those who talk about wealth creation.
How To Make Collaboration Work By David Straus
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs Abbey (Ghana)
1. Discuss the main ideas that you found most important in this book and discuss why they were important to you.
Collaboration remains one of the most efficient and effective ways of attaining team success and the book “HOW TO MAKE COLLABORATION WORK” by David Straus emphasis some powerful ideas and also principles that if grasped in heart and mind, will allow individual, team, group and communities to harness the power of collaborative action for themselves and their groups.
The book deals with the important Meta idea of human problem solving but the content review of the entire book focuses more on collaborating effort rather than problem solving per se.
One of the most important significance I found in the book which needs emphasis was when the author (David Straus) recount his graduate school days, when he said he had an interview with a doctor because he think he has a problem with his eyes and after the examination of his eyes that doctor told him he doest have any problem with his eyes and suddenly realization of what it was that he didn’t want to see. This part of the book is very important because many at times, we pay attention and lose director to things which of course limits our thinking and our potential in the fields of our endeavors, like author he refuse to see the effort of his works when pursing his graduate program in architecture designing, but when realizing that he was paying large sum of money for graduate studies and yet no one was going to teach him explicitly how to design, no one was going to identify and make visible the mental process of designing and so until he begun his own process awareness just as the old Zen proverbs “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”
Another important significance was the effort definition of the collaborative problem solving emphasis by the author “the process employed when working together in a group, organisation or community to plan, create, solve problems and make decisions” the further realize from the book that for some people, a problem implies something bad, a situation to avoid but the realization of seeing problem as not negative but instead a situation that someone want to change.
One of the important points to emphasis is that, problem solving in its general sense is a situation changing or taking action and includes communication, learning, planning, working and making decision.
Yet another important point of the book “HOW TO MAKE COLLABORATION WORK” was the analogy of Allen Newell and Herbert A Simon from Carnegie-Mellon University as well as that of Ulrich Neisser. In Neisser frame work of thinking processes he maintain that if you know nothing about general species of birds (fly caters, warbles) they all sort look the same, he argue that when you see a small bird you have never see before, you might not even know you have never seen it and you probably wont remember much about it, this argument in relations to problem solving makes a lot of sense and I couldn’t agree more with the author, without a language of process, without knowing something about the different strategies that can be used to solve problem, it is difficult to learn and acquire new ones.
Another important point from the book “HOW TO MAKE COLLABORATION WORK” is the realization of how individuals solve problems and how they can become more confident and effective problem solvers by the realization that there is no one right way to solve problems likewise there is no one right way to collaborate.
Another important point remains in the arguments by Newell and Simon (1972) between heuristic problem solving and algorithm problem solving, this argument remain significance, I came to the understanding that heuristic is a strategy that is flexible and quick but does not guarantee success whereas algorithm is an approach that is systematic rigid and time consuming but will ultimately guarantee success. All this emphasis remains significant because I have come to the realization that human problem solving is a trail-and-error process.
2. Can you relate the ideas or concepts in this book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, etc.? Explain.
Translating complex ideas and profound insights into powerful principles about how people can work together efficiently remains the most important factor in the book “HOW TO MAKE COLLABORATION WORK”
I could not agree more with the author when he emphasis in his book “HOW TO MAKE COLLABORATION WORK” the involvement of relevant stakeholders in decision making, this is very true and I contest anybody who thinks this is not factual, I have took this strong position because practically and personally I have gone through as similar situation and think its worth sharing.
It all begun when in one of my traveling as a United Nations Volunteer, I met Netherlands organisation who has interest in institutionalizing peace and non-violence education into schools (Primary & Secondary) curriculums. I personally took interest in this project because I also believe that investing peace and non-violence into early childhood development will go along with to prepare the next generation of leaders to be non-violence and peace oriented.
I further pushed to get the organisation appoint me to carry out a feasibility studies on the project and onward implementation of the project as a pilot program.
Upon the completion of the feasibility studies, I was very much convinced that this was going to work and so I quickly constituted a committee to see toe the implementation of the project in some selected schools as a pilot but eventually I went further to organized an executive briefing on the subject matter and had several meetings with the Ministry of Education and other major players and so I was very convince that the project was going to be a success, but along the way of the implementing stages, I begun having serious problems, which the author of the book (David Straus) describe as “alligators” (those with the power to block.
I came to the realization that in all the process of the feasibility studies and the involvement of the Minister responsible for education and other important stakeholders it means I am through only to realized that I did not get the district directors and classroom teachers involved in the project and so even though I have the blessing of the Minister responsible for education and other major players, the district director of education and the teachers conspire and sent a report to the ministry of education that the projects is not feasible as the students seems not to understand the module and so eventually the projects was redrawn. This was a better experience, all this I did not understand until I have just finished reading the book “HOW TO MAKE COLLABORATION WORK”
This is the more reason I could not agree more with the author when he suggested that that when dealing with situations we should always consider including:
1. Those with formal power to make decision
2. Those with the power to block decision
3. Those affected by a decision
4. Those relevant information or expertise
hence the agreement with David Clislip and Carl Larsen (1994) when they capture what they term as collaborative premise as they write “if you bring the appropriate people together in constructive ways with good information, they will create authentic visions and strategies for addressing the shared concern of the organisation or community”
3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.
The entire book brought a whole of new ideas which are very helpful in my work as a conflict analyst but one I found most interesting is the fact argument on heuristic problem solving and algorithm problem solving, I found this interesting because throughout my life, I have never thought of finding the reason behind my problem solving strategies and many at times, you place something value somewhere and it takes ages to fine, without consciously knowing you are either applying heuristic or algorithm approaches.
Another important new idea is the Neisser frame work of thinking processes as he maintained that if you know nothing about general species of birds (fly caters, warbles) they all sort look the same, he argue that when you see a small bird you have never see before, you might not even know you have never seen it and you probably wont remember much about it, this argument in relations to problem solving makes a lot of sense and I couldn’t agree more with the author, without a language of process, without knowing something about the different strategies that can be used to solve problem, it is difficult to learn and acquire new ones.
4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?
Of course this book has changed my understanding of issues with regards to the involvement of stakeholders in making decision, like I said earlier in my review, I only came to the realization that my project on Institutionalization of peace and non-violence education in schools fails because I have did not include the appropriate decision makers in my team and only got this realization when I read the book “HOW TO MAKE COLLABORATION WORK”
5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?
I have tried as much as possible to find some ideas in the book to disagree with but I can tell you for a fact that I don’t have any which makes the book very worth reading; I don’t have any disagreement at all in the book
6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?
I consider constant mentioning of team building and working together as most helpful point the book kept emphasis event at the mentioning that working together and in building concensus remains the most effective way of moving forward but like I said before I don’t seem to see any part of the book which wasn’t helpful to me.
7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.
The book “HOW TO MAKE COLLABORATION WORK” was only trying to emphasis or conveys who to build collaboration, collaborative actions and collaborative problem solving and revealing process people employ when working together in a group.
Please Rate this book on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10
The Spirit of Intimacy
Assessed by Sammy Jacobs-Abbey (Ghana)
1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples
The book outlines several important ideas which for me its good for our settings, as an African I felt very much connected following the ideas reveals by the author, for instance one of the most important ideas I read from the book was the fact that he was talking about born to a purpose, reference to the issues raised by the author, I could not agree with her more.
It is indeed true, the in Africa we believe that when you give birth, the child only came through you but the child belongs to the community, I am saying this because, you are thought to respect everyone within your community and must be humble to every situation, one of the most important ideas in the book was the fact that it means how closely Africans relates to the extended families, for instance it continue to mentioned that every individual within the community sees a child as his/her child and give them same support as his/her biological parents.
One most important point I also followed from the book, was the fact that Africans in spite of the adulteration of their culture, they still holds on to the African traditional cultures and this is always shown during child birth and naming ceremonies.
Another most important point raised by the author was the fact that she mentioned that marriage is a way of taking the call of the spirit further. Of course I agree perfectly with the ideas because I know in Africa, it brings two souls, two purpose, two worlds together and allows them to bring their gifts forward to benefit the community.
And I could not agree more with the writer when he said that marriage is a way for spirit to bring its support for two people into one greater energy. It brings together two or many lines of ancestors, two cultures, and many different ways of looking at the world.
2. Can you relate the ideas or concepts in this book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, etc? Please use personal examples in your explanation.
One of the quick ideas that comes to mind in trying to relate the concepts in this book to my personal circumstances in life was the fact that the book mentioned gaining knowledge of spiritual understanding and living a responsible life. This is very true, in my own case, when I was growing I had a godfather whose responsibility was to make sure I acquire every knowledge I need to know as I journey through life, I spent several hours acquiring knowledge and asking useful questions. This went a long way to help me acquire much information and since then I have lived very responsible life.
Another important ideas relating to my life was the fact that I was named after a very responsible and respected community leader, his name was given to me because society beliefs that naming children after renowned and responsible people will go a long way to affect their lives, I must say, my grand father bears the name Sammy Jacobs and that name was given to me, I have continuous to think and behave like him according to those who knew my grand father and so for me I think that the African traditional values continue to bring the best in us
3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.
One of the most important ideas I got from the book is the reference to African spirituality, was that we have come to the point of evolution where we are constantly using our spiritual energy, we have no need to worry about replenishing it, for the stream, the flow of energy is constant. It is an abundant source for it can never be completely used; it is forever streaming through the Universe of Universes.
Another important idea I got from reading the book was that, it is believe that ancestral spirit gives protections and guidance to people in community hence the relationship with families, it is clear idea that I got from the book, in the traditional African settings, liberations are poured not for fashion but for communicating with the higher power and ancestral spirit, that is the more reason why naming ceremony in Africa are very important.
I have also gotten the idea that names are not just given to people in Africa, they attach a lot of reasoning before given it out, this replicates the lifestyle or the behavior of whoever it was name after.
4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?
The book, The Spirit of Intimacy, has influence my thinking in several ways, for instance the fact that it continue to push the agenda of African cultures and revealing the most beautiful secrecy of it. I have been influence a lot by western cultures but upon reading this book, I am re considering to returning to my African traditions, this is because we have our own ways of talking to God or training the child but western influence has adulterated all our efforts, I am highly motivated and will continue to push for the African agenda especially regarding values and cultures
Personally, reading the book has brought a lot of transformational thinking to my life, particularly in relations to African traditional way of doing marriage, over the years, I have consider church wedding as the most appropriate and have no regards to traditional wedding but upon reading the book “Spirit of Intimacy” I have had a different orientation, honestly, I think, Church wedding in Africa should rather a choice/option rather than mandatory and also people should also get oriented as I have upon reading the book, because the success behind it is great, both families coming together to witness such great union and also afford opportunities to build new families.
5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?
Not necessary, but I suggest that the author should not only limit the writing to her village and culture alone because for me it think that African traditional cultures are similar and so she could have brought in several examples and others values to lift. But I think that she wrote very well and has authority over the subject.
6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?
The most helpful topic I found in the book is chapter 5 which talks about born to a purpose, I described it as the most helpful topic because it reveals all the essence of coming to this world and it’s important to living
It is very factual that the purpose of coming to this world is for a mission, and so the authors idea of born to a purpose is paramount, I consider it as the most important topic in the book, it went further to mentioned that, community and society takes great interest in the upbringing of a child because the essence help train and manage the growth of that child. The destiny and vision of the child should be seen at to enable him grow to attain the purpose of coming on earth.
7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey
The book was basically explaining the beautiful spirituality in Africa with reference to intimacy, marriage and its related activities and the need to encourage more African to continue adhering to beautiful cultures and traditions of African beliefs
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 5
B. How helpful were the contents? 6
C. How easy was it to understand? 4
D. Would you recommend it to others? 5
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 7
Sitting In The Fire
Assessed by Sammy Jacobs-Abbey (Ghana)
1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples
The book is an invaluable and excellent resource for collective work and mediation. He mentioned that engaging in heated conflict instead of running away from it is one of the best ways to resolve conflict in divisiveness that prevails on every level of society. At the beginning of the reading, I disagree with him but upon completing the book and following the analysis he made towards conflict resolution, I could not agree more with him on the early statement that engaging in heated conflict instead of running away from of running away from it.
From the reading of the book, I came to the realization that conflicts between people are a normal, natural and inevitable part of life – at work, at home and in all our relationships with others. Unfortunately, most of us don’t really accept this fact and we still get surprised and distressed when it’s clear that a conflict has emerged.
As long as everything is going along smoothly, it’s easy to be considerate and respectful of another person’s needs. They are in no way interfering with our own. But the emergence of a conflict can change all that – now we can feel threatened, anxious and angry. The same person whom we enjoyed working with yesterday now seems like an adversary. That’s because of our vast, past experience with conflict, most of which was negative.
2. Can you relate the ideas or concepts in this book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, etc? Please use personal examples in your explanation.
The book Sitting in the fire after reading it several times, has brought a great deal of professionalism to my work as a conflict manager. The most important value that the book brought to me was the fact that the author mentioned that a spiritual attitude makes it easier to tolerate anger and move through the double edges to reach understanding and even given enlightenment about the nature of the world.
I could not agree more with the writer because I have personally held a long assertion that in other to live in harmony; one ought to build its spiritual awakeness. A practical experience is that, I am one person, who keep things within me and will not tolerate others views, but until recently when I was privilege to attend the 3rd World Spirit Forum held in Arosa, Switzerland, I join the circle of peace and from there my perception changed. I have the ability to endure any circumstance that comes my way and my whole being has changed because I am spiritually inclined.
Another development, the book mentioned that before we can transform community with conflict, we have to be able to survive it ourselves. This I could not agree more with him, practically, this has happened to me, each time I am called upon to assist in situation management, I have come to the realization that when you have personally undergo a situation, you stand out to appreciate what the problems are, for instance, I was invited to talk to students of the importance to living in harmony.
Another practical circumstance on my life reference book sitting on the fire, I was personally engaged in a heated debate with a secretary of mine when I was working with my previous organization. This drag on for several months without finding solutions to it. I thought I was not treated fairly because I was working as head of department and responsible for 52 countries in Africa. Along the line, the organization decided to put up international meeting in Ghana and so I was putted in charge, after spending a lot of energy and time to constitute a team and have almost gone through with the hosting of the event, the Secretary-General and his team, for reason best known to them, announced the change of venue to Nigeria without given me a prior notice and this brought a lot of disgrace to us.
I personally got furious and used all orthodox means to resolve the problem but unfortunately it did not materialized. I decided to use the avoidance approach and it seems to be working but along the way I came to the realization that, that will not solve the problem but rather escalate the issues. Therefore the issue of talking about it came in and finally we have been able to resolve our problem, which is why I support the importance of talking about the issues as mentioned by the author of the book.
3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.
One of the most important ideas I got from the book is the reference of Cultural diversity and its relation to spiritual energies as well as the issue of community love.
I came to understanding that Love makes the world go round” and certainly it can be considered the motive power. It is the energy above all others and has many different levels of _expression. There is the selfish and forceful love of another human that becomes domineering and demands obedience. Love is expressed in a way that becomes restrictive and often carries jealousy along with it. Love is sometimes a misnomer for lust which again is the serving of self. Love can be given to animals or inanimate objects, so much so that its loss can create a major crisis in a person’s life. Love can lift you to the heights, and just as quickly allow you to sink into the depth of depression. Love can be for self to the exclusion of anyone else.
Love is that energy when given unconditionally that asks for nothing in return. When you have reached a point that allows you to understand its function and give freely of it, you will have evolved to that point where you are ready to ascend. You will be a true reflection of the god you really are whilst still in your physical body. It becomes a way of life that many aspire to but find difficult to maintain. Once you have discovered the path to success you will grow with experience, and certainly reach your goal.
Unconditional love does not require that you neglect self and indeed it is important to love yourself exactly for what you are, knowing that you will always strive to rise higher. Once you can give of yourself to others, you also set a standard that they will aspire to as they see how peaceful and fulfilling your life has become. It does not mean that you allow yourself to be taken advantage of and your love will be directed where it does the most good. It is working within your means and abilities to give of that which can be of great help to others.
4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?
Of course the book has given me a new transformation of thinking, spirituality, peaceful and letting go of fear and dealing with substantial issues as and when they affect our lives. One of the most challenges I have gotten from the book is the fact that we must continue to talk.
When you’re in conflict with another person, you both are usually aware of it at some level. There’s a sense of disruption, unease, something is not right. The communication between you might change, perhaps becoming superficial or terse. Or there’s silence.
Once you’re aware that you’re in conflict, what you do next really matters. Acknowledge that a conflict exists. Very often, we decide not to acknowledge this hoping that the conflict will somehow go away or resolve itself. That rarely happens. Only when conflicts are brought out into the open, do they have the chance of being dealt with effectively.
And as I just mentioned, dealing with conflict effectively requires skills-skills that are proven to work, sometimes like magic. When you have these skills, the idea of facing conflicts with others is not nearly so daunting, and in fact can be stimulating and energizing. (There are very few intractable problems to which there are no mutually-acceptable solutions.)
Another area of which the book has challenged me is the issue of dialoguing; Dialogue is the key element in constructive conflict resolution. Dialogue is made up of two very different communication skills, both of which are essential – listening with empathy and non-blameful self-disclosure.
5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?
Not necessary, as I mentioned in the beginning I disagree with the author when he mentioned of continues engagement in conflict but until I completed the book and relate it to personal life, change my initial thought
He further mentioned in the book that, hidden messages are strong factors in the breakdown of group dynamics. As he mentioned further, these subtle and unexpressed attitudes, assumptions and dispositions may concern competition for leadership.
6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?
The most helpful topic I found in the book is topic the impossible teacher, I consider that topic helpful because it brought out all the strategies and skills of becoming a leader and building self-confident
7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey
The book for that matter shows how working with power, rank, revenge and abuse helps build sustainable communities, as mentioned by few renowned authors, Mindell believes that unless communities can fully experience the distrust that separates them. Hidden enmities will smolder unendingly.
For me, I think that Arnold Mindell, details an entirely new way to deal with conflict, providing an existing set of tools to deal with conflicts
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 6
B. How helpful were the contents? 8
C. How easy was it to understand? 5
D. Would you recommend it to others? 7
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8
The Silence Of The Heart
Assessment by Sammy Jacobs-Abbey (Ghana)
1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples
The book Silence of the Heart was skillfully written by the author and as it was mentioned, Silence is the essence of the heart. You cannot be in the heart unless you are in forgiveness of yourself and others. This is ideas I personally agree with, because you cannot be in the heart if you are worried or angry, indeed you cannot be in the heart when your mind states are rooted in the past or future, and all that you perceive is a fabrication, a hyperbole but when you return to the heart.
Another important idea I got from the book is the fact of Maps and signs wow, fabulous idea, and the author said that it is helpful to look at the road map. He further described road map is an intellectual construction that helps you get a general sense of how to proceed. Yet it is not, and can never be, an actual description of the road. No one can tell you that what the road will be like only your experience can do that.
And this why the importance of idea comes to, in life, we ought to learn to deal with realities rather than things which does not exist, you can tell a better story if you have been part of the process, hence the old adage: “Experience is the best teacher”
He further illustrated in the book that there comes a point in every situation when preparations end and the experience begins knowing that you have prepared well may give you confidence, but only trust in yourself enable you to excel. Trust is a big let-go into the experience. It is a leap of faith. This I also agree dully with the author
Another important Idea I got from the book was when the author was talking about the perception of having enemies and for me this is what I think In order for you to do away with this notion of having enemies you must first learn to love yourself. Loving yourself is a very easy thing to do. Some may find it hard but it is simple. It is the simple acts of forgiving the things that you have done, knowing that you are a child of God. You are not perfect not anywhere close to being perfect for you have a lot of room for improvement. Don’t beat yourself up for the things that you have done or the things that you have not done, for there is time for you to build your soul. There is time for you to fully redeem yourself, if you feel that you need redemption.
Another important idea I got from the book was the fact that the author talked about unconditional love as a tool of forgiveness, someone said that “Love makes the world go round” and certainly it can be considered the motive power. It is the energy above all others and has many different levels of expression. There is the selfish and forceful love of another human that becomes domineering and demands obedience. Love is expressed in a way that becomes restrictive and often carries jealousy along with it. Love is sometimes a misnomer for lust which again is the serving of self. Love can be given to animals or inanimate objects, so much so that its loss can create a major crisis in a person’s life. Love can lift you to the heights, and just as quickly allow you to sink into the depth of depression. Love can be for self to the exclusion of anyone else.
Love is that energy when given unconditionally that asks for nothing in return. When you have reached a point that allows you to understand its function and give freely of it, you will have evolved to that point where you are ready to ascend. You will be a true reflection of the god you really are whilst still in your physical body. It becomes a way of life that many aspire to but find difficult to maintain. Once you have discovered the path to success you will grow with experience, and certainly reach your goal.
Unconditional love does not require that you neglect self and indeed it is important to love yourself exactly for what you are, knowing that you will always strive to rise higher. Once you can give of yourself to others, you also set a standard that they will aspire to as they see how peaceful and fulfilling your life has become. It does not mean that you allow yourself to be taken advantage of and your love will be directed where it does the most good. It is working within your means and abilities to give of that which can be of great help to others.
2. Can you relate the ideas or concepts in this book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, etc? Please use personal examples in your explanation.
One of the ideas from the book which I can personally relate to personal circumstance I have encounter was the fact that the book talked about moving towards a shared vision. I have personally hold a dream of becoming my own boss, I have worked several years within agencies and institutions just to acquire skills, experience and knowledge in the future plans of managing my own dream. After several years of working with others, I begun the process of establishing my organization, but I realized along the way that either I have not fully gotten the understanding or picture of what I intend to do because I fail drastically when I immediately set up my organization.
After carefully looking at the situation again, I begun with a different thought and this time It worked, and the organization was established, I was running around all alone making it worked and this also affected my health a lot, it was at this point that I want to relate what the author said about shared vision. As mentioned in the book, share vision is simply that aspect of experience that resonates for both people at the same time.
It was at this point that I begun sharing my vision, plans and ideas to others, I failed all this while because I wanted to do it alone, but when I shared my vision with colleagues and like-minded people, I succeeded and this is why I could not agree more with the writer when he mentioned that partnership can be built only on shared vision and the willingness of the partners to let go of their rigid pictures of the way things should be.
Hearing the deep need of each person, but letting go of the ego’s pictures of how that need has to be met, the two enters silence together, asking for the highest good of all concerned.
When I came out of the fear and shared my vision, I ended up building a strong organization and partners in over 15 countries.
Another significant idea that personally relates to my personal circumstances was that fact that the book mentions forgiveness, I was hurt personally when I was a young boy, all my family were traveling to our home town to celebrate festival, as a young boy you can imagine the excitement of traveling to my own town, I did all I could to be part of that trip, I that whole month, I did everything possible to please my parents as well as my uncle who was staying with us to get me on that trip, I was assured and reassured of going with them. I went round telling all my school mates that I will be traveling with my parents and my uncle to our village and so they should watch out for me, during those days, traveling to your hometown as a young boy was something big. The night before the morning of traveling , I could not sleep, I was the first person to woke up and prepare all my house duties, had my bath, iron my cloth and wait patiently for my family to get ready for the travel. After having breakfast together with all of them and packing all our the belongings to the car, my uncle walked to me and said “Sammy, I know how happy you will be to join us to this trip but I am sorry this trip is not meant for kids” I became very hurt and quickly build up hate to him, for several years, I never liked him and I hated him and all his children, the hate grew bad to the extend that anything he visit us in the house, I will either locked myself in a room or walk out of the house until he goes. This continued several years until one day my mother called me and discuss the situation with me, I denied holding anything against him and so this hatred continue until one day, we went to church together as a family and he accompanied us, the pastor preached about forgiveness and how much hate prisons the mind of people. I listen authentically to the sermon of the pastor and when we got home, during dinner I walk to him at the dinning table in the full glare of my parents and I said, I have forgiven you, they seems not to understand what I met, but I took their memory back to 8years ago, what my uncle did to me though it was my father decision but he could not tell me in the face and use my uncle. They accepted my forgiveness and we dine together.
3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.
One of the new ideas I have learned from this book was that, in life it doest always seems the same as we want; it comes with its own challenges. Yet another important idea I got from the book was that, finding your true inner authority is a life time process.
But the most important concept I learned from this book was the fact that a soul mate relationship is an exploration of the dynamics of equality, mutual trust and respect. In fact I further learned that it is a mature, consciously loving relationship which requires good communication skills generally learned through the forgiveness process in previous less conscious relationships. And finally I realized that a soul mate cannot manifest until there is honesty and clarity in all of your relationship, you must speak the truth fearlessly but with great gentleness and compassion
4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?
Personally the book has challenged my thinking to life, at least it confirms my long time beliefs that until you learn how to forgive you will never move ahead because your mind will be full of negative thoughts and until you appreciate Your life experiences are a continual brush with love, or lack of love, you learn so much through them. Some are influenced by love stories or films, and along with your real life experiences you are always determining how it should be expressed in your own life. You see how possessive love can be overpowering and damaging to a relationship. It is so important that you understand that true love asks for nothing in return. Love all as yourself.
5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?
I did not find any aspect of the book that I disagree with, I think that the writer is indeed a great writer and had spend several years of compiling the writing and as said by John Bradshaw put it “Paul Ferrini leads us skillfully and courageously beyond shame, blame and attachment to our wounds into the depths of self forgiveness. His work is a must read for all people who are ready to take responsibility for their own healing”
6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?
Every aspect of the book to me was very helpful, I cannot particularly pinpoint which one was outstanding, because a I kept opening the pages and reading over them and over it again and again, very helpful in every page
7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey
The main idea the book is trying to convey was inner peace and doing things from ones heart, one love, one mind and one thought. Peaceful living
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9.5
Conversations With God
Assessment by Samuel N.O. Jacobs-Abbey
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
Conversations With God has its finger on our culture’s spiritual pulse. This book appeals to those who have been hurt in life – by family, friends, authority figures, “organized religion” and failures in career and relationships.
And apparently, according to author Neale Donald Walsch, “God” is not pleased with all that suffering, especially suffering caused by intolerance and fear.
The main idea the author was conveying in his book, conversation with God was that we are made in his image but the image we reflect is defaced and defiled because of our sin not a flaw in his design. The Bible teaches that through one mans sin the whole world came under a curse. And from that curse comes the problems in us. For example. if I open a email that I’m warned by my anti virus not to open but do it any way and i get a virus that totally messes up my computer then its not a flaw in the program that warned me it was my stubborn self that decided not to listen. and only I’m to blame for the problems.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
In the book, Neale Donald Walsch outlined several important ideas which resonates with me and this include but not limited to
a) “Never supplicate God but appreciate” this is important because as he put it, “When you thank God in advance for that which you choose to experience in your reality, you, in effect, acknowledge that it is there… in effect. Thankfulness is thus the most powerful statement to God; an affirmation that even before you ask, I have answered” The word “appreciation” means really seeing something for what it is- an awareness of how special, how lucky, how unique, how blessed, how big, wonderful or awesome something is. Appreciation is recognition not based on comparison, but based on the intrinsic value, character or immensity of a thing or state itself. Nature is a major doorway to appreciation. The unarguable beauty and power encountered in natural places inspires a young child’s appreciation. The sound of a bird in the tree overhead, the rustling grass as the wind passes by, a butterfly lighting briefly on a blossom- all are breathlessly beautiful and awe-inspiring!
b) The author mentioned that all human actions are motivated at their deepest level by one of two emotions- Fear and love. I thought it was a powerful statement because fear is the great paralyser. It will keep you from making positive changes in your life and thus retard your recovery from depression. Recognize your fears and resolve to overcome them. Because in the end fear persuades you to set easier goals and do less than your are capable of. It even triggers internal defense systems and fools you into thinking that you have perfectly good reasons not to change. Fear, especially fear of failure or disappointment, reduces the number of available alternatives or keeps you from pursuing them and sometimes fear keeps you from asserting yourself and persuades you to settle for what you must settle for instead of going after what you want.
On the other hand, the moment we recognize ourselves as one with it we become so filled with love that we see only the good in all. And when we realize that we are all one with this love, and then we realize that in a sense we are all one with each other. When we come into recognition of this fact, we can then do no harm to any one, to any thing. We find that we are all members of the one great body, and that no portion of the body can be harmed without all the other portions suffering thereby.
When we fully realize the great fact of the oneness of all life, that all are partakers from this one Source, and so that the same life is the life in each individual, then prejudices go and hatreds cease. Love grows and reigns supreme. Then, wherever we go, whenever we come in contact with the fellow man, we are able to recognize the God within. We thus look only for the good, and we find it. It always pays.
C The author mentioned that self-worth is not a problem for human but the problem is lack of understanding of the principles of abundance together with massive misjudgment about what is good and evil. This I guess is very true because our attitude depends of our understanding of issues and judgments
D. The author mentioned that “what resist persists, and what you look at disappears” this is very true because most of us have qualities about ourselves that society would judge as less than “ideal”… whatever that is. Maybe we’re not really ridiculously good looking, maybe we’re overweight, maybe we’re not the smartest person… whatever. Everyone’s got something.. 😉
The thing is though, in this lifetime, you’re not meant to be anything other than who and what you really are. You’re here to BE YOURSELF, the unique expression of the infinite you. You don’t have to box yourself in to some arbitrary idealized standard in order to be lovable, acceptable, and worthy. Nope!
When you’re willing to be yourself regardless of what others think, when you’re willing to be the unique expression of All That Is that you were born to be, whether your talents are absolutely horrendous, or absolutely amazing, the willingness and freedom to be yourself is what is really inspirational.
E. “Seeing yourself as worth before you can see another as worth” this is indeed a true statement because until you learn to appreciate and see the value that is in you, it will be difficult to appreciate and see the worth in another person.
To be successful, affirmations should be person, present tense and positive. Simply stated, the use of affirmations is a form of verbal “act as if…”
Visualization is a form of mental “act as if…” It is the use of pictures, drawings and other visual aids to help you visualize the accomplishment of our goals.
Remember, even the simplest goal must be mentally accomplished before it can be physically accomplished. In our mind is a collection of mental pictures. Our success can be determined by our ability to change these mental images.
“What you see is what you get.” “As A. Man Thinketh, So Is He.” “Seeing is Believing.” There are scores of sayings that point to the idea that all goal attainment must include the ability to visualize or imagine the positive results we desire. Visualization helps us develop an almost miraculous belief in ourselves and in our ability to achieve our goals. Determination and will power do not foster belief. Unless we can see the end results through visualization, we are forging ahead into the unknown and our confidence and belief will not sustain us.
F “Beingness is the highest state of existence” this statement clearly suggest that absolute Beingness, we would say, is a State of Self-aware Super-consciousness, in which everything is and finds and draws upon the energy needed for its existence and expression. It is the One and Only God, Who in Its Absolute Self-sufficiency meditates and expresses Itself. Every thing, visible and invisible, above and below, is as God’s expression, the result of Its Divine Will-pleasure.
What we know of God we see in reflection as witnessed both externally and internally. Absolute Beingness is, above all, the Selfhood, as Beings within the One Being. The Love of God is universal, ceaseless, and unconditional. It is the Love of God, expressed as Grace, which lies at the core of Creation.
G. “The highest thought is always that thought which contains joy” “The clearest words are those which contains the truth” Today, most of us suffer from short attention spans. Deep thought requires energy, application and will power. A short attention span results in low concentration. If we train our children to read and reflect, it will fuel their imagination and motivate them to think originally.
A focused person, therefore, has better chances of finding happiness. We all like to believe that we can change the world. This grandiose desire to change the world creates a lot of unhappiness. Efforts to reform the world must begin small.
Most religions focus on renunciation and the elimination of desire. Some promise happiness in the after-life. However, attaining happiness in this life itself is not impossible. Desire is the engine of progress. It should not be suppressed or removed, but should be sublimated to achieving happiness.
Concentration on a single thought stimulates or ‘tickles’ the pituitary gland and gives you a sense of well being. It is also one of the key components of happiness. We need to train ourselves to focus on positive thoughts. Happiness is a state of mind.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The lessons learnt from this book shall go along way to help me to get a better understanding of individual perspective of God. Because there are strong points raised by the author which I absolutely agreed with and others which I strongly thought was misleading but large and by, this will enable me to know God from different perspectives.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements, which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
There were several important quotes from the book conversation with God but the one that caught my attention was “You cannot know God until you’ve stopped telling yourself that you already know God. You cannot hear God until you stop thinking that you’ve already heard God”
If we were to experience Him, what would that experience feel like? Is it like the goose bumps we feel when they play the national anthem or the hair standing erect on our necks on an eerie night? Well, it seems that whatever experience some may claim to have, the world is able to produce exactly the same feelings, and even greater.
One of the many problems with the notion of “experiencing God” is that it is man-centered. In other words, God is there for our pleasure, so we can have goose-bumps and liver-shivers. This presupposes that the purpose for a relationship with God is that He may bless us by, amongst other things, giving us pleasurable feelings. So, according to this philosophy we know that we have been in God’s presence because we had a warm, fuzzy experience and some wonderful feelings. Most of these experiences are spoken of in extremely positive terms and are described as wonderful, uplifting, calming, exciting, thrilling or moving. Once-again these ideas are contrary to all teaching in the Bible. This is because we have built up a whole tradition of what it is to experience God, which has no touch with reality or God’s Word.
It may be helpful to examine the “experiences” of a few men who did “meet” with God as recorded in the Scriptures. The first man who met with God, apart from Adam who hid himself, was Moses. “And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look upon God” (Exodus 3:6) At the end of his meeting with God, this well educated and eloquent man said: “O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue” (Exodus 4:10). Jacob met with God and was left a broken man (Gen 32:31).
Job had a conversation with God and his response to was: “I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes: (Job 42:5). Later Isaiah had a vision of God and he cried: “Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips…” (Isaiah 6:5). The angel of the Lord appeared to Samson’s parents and they said: “We shall surely die, because we have seen God” (Judges 13:22). Daniel tells of his vision of God: “when I saw this great vision… no strength remained in me; for my vigor was turned to frailty in me, and I retained no strength” (Daniel 10:8). Habakkuk heard God speak and said: “O Lord, I have heard your speech and was afraid… my body trembled; My lips quivered at the voice; Rottenness entered my bones; And I trembled in myself” (Habakkuk 3:2,16).
Indeed any meeting with God has to leave us radically and permanently changed. Moses’ face shone, Paul was no longer the ambitious, self-righteous hater of the believers but became one whose very life was poured out as a sacrifice for the church he persecuted. Quiet frankly, I am sick of people who claim to have had some experience with God and who continue in their lying, deceitful, destructive and self-centered ways. Any true meeting with God has to result in real and fundamental changes. These changes are enduring and not a shallow veneer of holiness and piety. Neither are they the feeble results at self-reform.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?
Here are some more not-so-new, but appealing suggestions from the man (or woman) upstairs:
God tells us we are all gods ourselves in reality. God tells us our natures are not evil and sinful, but loving. And God is not an absolute moralist, but merely utilitarian.
Unfortunately, Walsch never tells us why we should believe he is speaking for God. He apparently expects his audience to accept these revelations at face value.
Why? Because even if it can be shown that Walsh’s conclusions are faulty or unsupported, the pain he’s experienced in life is real, and he brings up some legitimate beefs. Even the Bible agrees with him at points… Yes, living and making decisions from a position of fear not love is a bad thing. The apostle John told us “perfect love casts out all fear.” And yes, we should be wary of people who use authority and truth for manipulation.
But the Bible has answers to Walsch’s dilemmas, answers which are more positive, exciting, logical and complete than the ones Walsch is relaying to us from “God.”
Here are a few responses to the way Walsch portrays the God of the Bible:
“Organized religion” forces people to live according to the rules of the power structure or face dire consequences; critical thinking is discouraged.
Response: The Apostle Paul appealed to the minds of his listeners. In Acts 18:19, for example it says he “reasoned with the Jews.” When he presented the gospel Paul offered reasons to believe. In 1 Peter 3:15, every Christian is expected to be willing and ready to answer his or her critics. In Isaiah 40-44, God claims that unlike other God’s, he is able to offer evidence (predictive prophecy) that he is the true God.
The God of the Bible has no idea how hard life is, and what is worse, he doesn’t even care.
Response: The biblical God is aware of the pain humans face in day-to-day life and has suffered so that we can have real life.
“Since then the children share in flesh and blood, He (Jesus) Himself likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil; and might deliver those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives.” – Hebrews 2:14,15
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one (Jesus) who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet without sin.” – Hebrews 4:15
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” – John 3:16
The God of the Bible wants us to be fulfilled, but he suggests a novel way to pursue fulfillment. Jesus said, “For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for my sake shall find It.” – Matthew 16:25
Walsch’s prescription for fulfillment is a life of retreat and pain avoidance – a full retreat into self, putting myself at the center of the universe at all costs, reserving the right to judge right and wrong through my own eyes.
It may minimize pain, but it is abundant life?
We need to consider what Jesus says is the end result – death – and weigh these two paths carefully, as if our very lives depended on it.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
The book did not really have exercises for the reader to complete but several questions used by the author to establish conversation with God
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.
When the author mentioned in the book “God is the observer, not the creator” I totally disagree with the writer because I thought that it’s misleading from the Christian perspective. Inasmuch as I agreed to the fact that Man has created his own problems, God in heaven has a total control over what goes on around man, God has in many times changed circumstances and some impossible situations.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 5
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 7
D. Would you recommend it to others? 8
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 7
The Nine Steps To Financial Freedom
Assessment by Samuel N.O. Jacobs-Abbey (Ghana)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The book 9 steps to financial freedom by Suze Orman takes you back to discover why people don’t do the things they know they should do and beyond that taking action. The main idea of the author is trying to help individual to be free to open up a dialogue about money with family and self.
But the overall idea the author is conveying in her book is to make individuals as independent from financial advisors as possible and also to suggest that finances are the leading cause of fights in families. That leads to marital breakdown and divorce. Divorce only makes the financial situation worse. When these troubles come, and they will, it is much better for you to be on the Financial Freedom Trail than if you weren’t.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
In the book, Suze Orman goes beyond what she calls the “financial freedom”. Suze realized that there are certain underlying patterns to every financial experience. So, instead of simply attacking specific issues with tips and tricks limited to those specific issues, she spent years studying and synthesizing an understanding of the core principles that lead to financial freedom.
This led her understanding of 9 steps to financial freedom and the seven (7) ideas, which were personally most important to me, is as follows:
a) “Being Honest with yourself” this is important because I realized that the chapter emphasis on the ability to get develop an accurate understanding of both our current state of being and the steps we need to take to develop the state of our financial freedom. Being honest with our financial reality is to grips with what our life is like in the current moment. It is also being able to accurately assess how our lives will be later on down the road if we stay on the path we’re on.
b) “Facing your fears and creating new truths” this is another important to be because it enables one in overcoming fear and phobias of financial realities She transformed what she learned from that experience into a life long examination of fear and phobias.
The chapter described that there’s nothing truer than the age-old saying that “a problem shared is a problem halved”, and that if you think you can’t do something, you’ll unconsciously sabotage your efforts in order to be proven right. Increase your self-esteem by opening yourself up to the possibility that you’re wrong about what you cannot do. Whenever anyone steps out of a comfort zone in life and faces a new challenge, there fear waits. And finally only thing you have full control over in this world is your own reaction. A common way to mismanage fear is to try to control things over which we have no control-such as the stock market, other drivers, friends, family, or work situations. Remember, you cannot control others-you can only control yourself and your responses.
c) “Being respectful of yourself and your money” the author seems to suggest “If you aren’t financially abundant yourself, i.e. you’re either living paycheck to paycheck, or there’s too much month at the end of the money, your advice likely won’t get me past whatever level you’re currently at.” This chapter tells you how to put financial freedom to use enhancing your enjoyment of life now and in the near future. The chapter also emphasis that to save well, you need to be saving for a goal of intense personal concern, something that excites you as much as the benefits you obtain from spending.
d) “Seeing how your past holds the key to your financial future” the first step toward Financial Freedom is a step back in time to the earliest moments you can recall when money first meant something to you. When you began to see that money could create pleasure – ice cream cones, merry-go-round rides – and could also create pain-fights between your parents, perhaps, or longings that couldn’t be fulfilled because there wasn’t enough money or even because there was too much. When you first understood that money was money. Orman says messages about money are passed from generation to generation. It may be necessary to break past these old memories. Indeed I agreed more with the examples she used in the book. My attitude to money has always been the fact that I should be accountable to any money that comes to in my possessions. I had a strict mother who makes sure I am more responsible for monies given me. Up until this age, I continue to demand receipts from every payment I make and will spend hours and hours waiting for the receipts, but upon reading this chapter of the book I have come to the realization this has something to do with the training my mother gave me and my fear of not been accountable.
e) “Understand the ebb and flow of the money cycle”. The author wants to believe that your inner knowledge and beliefs create financial freedom. “If you want money in your life then you must welcome it, be open to it and treat it with respect.” I also agreed with the author when she stated that it is so important to learn to accept that your own money will also have its ups and down. No matter how carefully you plan-even if you do every financial thing right. This is true because there are at time when I have managed to save a lot of money for some specific reason and only to realized that the money just flies and could not meet the needs and there are at times when monies have been more than enough without necessarily planning to save them. Ever since I read this chapter, I came to the realization that we must always take the long view of our financial future.
f) “Be open to receive all that you are meant to have”. The last three chapters are short, addressing topics Orman says are not usually mentioned by financial advisors. They explore the so-called spiritual aspects of money. Step seven basically says that the more money you give away, the more you receive. Learning to receive is a lot like allowing yourself to enjoy your life. It’s not all about the actions you take. If you really want to align your energy with what you want, to be open to receive it, you will want to stop along the way and feel the wonderful energy of your dream. Agreeing with the author reminds me of the Bible chapter that “Jesus put it this way: “Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” (Luke 6:38). Giving is an outward manifestation and the essential expression of kindness. Philippians 4:15-20 holds important lessons about giving and receiving. Its applications go beyond merely financial giving and receiving. When we give in any area, the blessings we receive outweigh our original investment.
g) “Recognizing true wealth”. Self-worth can’t be measured by net worth. Orman urges readers to realize that the quality of our lives does not depend only on the acquisition and spending of money but in “defining ourselves by who and what we are.” If a genie suddenly appears and grants you one wish, what will that wish be? Many of us would wish for money, lots of it! Don’t we all want to be rich? It is everybody’s dream. For some people, getting rich is one of life’s ultimate goals. Many make the mistake of using money to define them as a person. Make no mistake about it. Money is just a tool that can be used for defining who and what we are. It is still our attitude and way of thinking that defines us. For many of us, acquiring wealth is the end goal. However, this seldom happens because once we arrive at our objective, we do not just settle down and spend money as if there will be no tomorrow. Human instinct drives us to aspire for more. We seek productive ways to use our wealth and become more successful.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The ideas that were emphasized by the author has provided me with practical ways to create a better understanding of financial freedom. It has helped me to gain knowledge on how to realistically accomplish my financial goals.
Regardless of your financial needs, this book was written by the author to give you the hope, knowledge and resources to rid yourself of your financial struggles and provide you with a practical, real world program to reach your financial goals.
My first goal is to provide a sensible solution to a huge need I see everyday in my life, and that is overcoming financial illiteracy. Over the years I have seen such a genuine interest and desire that I want to be educated on how money really works, how to put my money to work for myself, and receive sound financial advice and financial planning without paying exorbitant amounts of money.
The beginning to the end of the chapter of the book talked about several strategies what I am following right now to help change my thoughts and understanding of financial freedom.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements, which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
There were several important quotes from the book 9 steps to Financial Freedom but the one that caught my attention was in STEP 5: Being Respectful of Yourself and Your Money
“…there is a simple and remarkably effective way to make yourself spend less. You invest more. By putting more money into your retirement accounts, your take-home check will be less and you will quickly train yourself to spend at a lower level, just as you used to do when you were making less money.” (pp. 140,141)
This statement meant a lot to me because practically I have experienced it in my life, the more money I make, and the more I spend. But as she explains with the quote, the solution lies in the corollary: the less you make, the less you spend.
I also thought that if one follows the author’s suggestion by investing more into our retirement as well as investing the majority of our money for growth.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?
I very much agreed with the entire content of the book, I thought Suze Orman combines wisdom with heart to offer a book that not only gives sound advice, but explores the emotions and memories that subconsciously block our efforts to get ahead. Life is more than “get all you can; can all you get; sit on the can” (as some financial books seem to assume). It’s about taking charge of our finances so that we can experience personal freedom, provide for those we’re responsible for, and help the less fortunate.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
The book did not really have exercises for the reader to complete but several examples and illustrations were used by the author which were very helpful
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.
Yes, I though the overall used of examples and realistic situations enabled the reader to not only appreciate the subject but also fully understand the pathway to financial freedom
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 8
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9
Falling In Love: Why We Choose The Lovers We Choose
Assessment by Samuel N.O. Jacobs Abbey (Ghana /USA)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
Illustrations and examples throughout the book make the love lessons easy to understand and the idea of allowing natural stages of courtship to unfold makes complete sense. This book is mainly for people who want to secure a long-term relationship and are willing to thoughtfully analyze each step in the process.
To bring about a full understanding of how we fall in love, Ayala Malach Pines how it starts. This is truly brilliant because it gives a realistic viewpoint to otherwise unexplainable phenomena. Falling in love is normally so mysterious and veiled and the information presented here explores the detail.
Ayala Malach Pines successfully synthesizes various theories of love into a very understandable model that is practical and helpful. She explores steps of courtship that will lead to a satisfying romantic relationship with long-term potential.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
In the book, Ayala Malach Pines outlined several important ideas which resonates with me and this include but not limited to
a) “Why Are We Prejudiced Towards Beauty” This is very true because in most situations we enjoy the company of attractive people because their appearances gives us aesthetic pleasure. I like the way the author put it, “just as we enjoy a beautiful art object, we enjoy beautiful people” I personally thought that Attraction is a complex matter: evolutionary, social, and psychological factors all work together in ways which are hard to decipher. I think it all depends really on how we look and carry ourselves. If you are somewhat good looking, appear to have a good head on your shoulders and a bit witty, many different people will be attracted to you.
I’ve attracted all kinds – blondes, brunettes, white, black, asian, hispanic, educated, artists, teachers, conservatives, etc. I guess because myself am interesting, educated, care about how I look and I like to make people laugh which is why I’ve never had any problems attracting women. I ended up marrying a Ghanaian-American whom I dearly love
b) The author mention the importance of self-confidence and openness to love, and schizoid personality disorder this I found very important because to be able to stay in love and to enjoy the beauty of love, self esteem and openness plays an important role. A healthy and happy relationship should be good for your self-esteem. But it may be that your self-esteem wasn’t great to begin with and although your partner makes efforts to compliment you and build you up somehow you just don’t believe them!
Maybe you really love your partner but feel they are just too good for you and that you are ‘lucky to have them.’ Perhaps you feel it’s just a matter of time before they reject you in favour of some one ‘better!’
Sometimes low self esteem in relationships makes you defensive and feeling like you are being criticized when you are not! Low self-esteem can present as over-sensitivity. Some people with very low self-esteem describe themselves, as ‘unlovable’ and even say things like: ‘He/She is only with me for sex/money/out of pity/duty/until they meet someone better!’
It could be the case that you were badly treated and psychologically abused by a previous partner who put you down, never said anything nice about you and made you feel worthless. It’s easy to suffer lowered self-esteem when we’ve been in a relationship like this. But if we take these ‘old feelings’ into a new relationship then they can really get in the way of a satisfying relationship. This is like a bird that has been caged for many years finally having the cage door released but out of habit, not yet realizing that it can now actually fly free!
Maybe a part of you kind of envies your partner’s confidence or ease with themselves. Imagine what it will be like to truly value yourself and be able to feel the reality of your partner’s love and respect for you because you feel that it is right and reasonable for them to feel positively towards you.
c) Another statement, which caught my attention in the book “Falling in love” was the fact that the author talked about turning relationship problems into opportunities for growth. Everyone encounters relationship problems throughout their lives. It’s just that some people don’t seem to get as tangled up in them as the rest of us. Relationship problems happen all the time for all kinds of reasons. One mate not that into the other anymore is just one common kind of trouble, but it can be anything. Constant fighting and arguing. One partner cheats on the other or wrongs them in some way. Or one of you is too controlling and the other feels smothered. A relationship is like the weather continuously changing. At any moment, you can confide your concerns and turn your partner into an ally, avoid them and turn your partner into a stranger, or attack and turn your partner into an enemy. But as the author said we can transform the challenges into an opportunity for growth, what to do in situations like this is first of all to deal with this unmanageable situation by opening up a second level in the relationship. But you can do so only when you find yourself looking at things from your partner’s point of view. Everything depends on how you feel when you get out of the shower. Even then, you can’t expect your partner to come around right away. Much depends on how well the conversation you have with yourself guides you through the shoals of the one you have with your partner. But the ultimate goal is to turn the problems of the relationship into opportunities for intimacy.
Nothing in this Universe is stagnant. Life is an evolutionary process. To experience growth we go through a series of challenges. Think about your life. Growth does not occur during the calm periods in life. It is through the most challenging situations that cause growth. Relationships, by their very nature, tend to push us towards duality, towards the opposites. Challenges and problems in relationship almost always present unnoticed and tremendous opportunities for growth and development. Essentially, relationships take us into both the light and also the darkness of our souls and our subconscious, forcing us to look at the light and experience the shadows.
When we’re faced with problems in relationship, if we deny the light of either ourselves or the other person, we relate to each other in conflict. If we deny the shadows of either the other, or ourselves we relate in illusion. Only by accepting both do we truly face reality and experience harmony.
Trust is required in meeting the challenges and problems in relationship. You must trust that the other will get whatever they need from you, while you must also trust that you will get whatever you need from them.
As I’ve always mentioned, we have the power to control only ourselves, not anyone else. When we have desires that we want fulfilled in our relationships, it is really up to us to fulfill our own desires and stop demanding that they be fulfilled by others.
For example, if you have the desire to be loved, you must not demand that someone else give the love to you. This is when you practice giving and receiving, by you yourself fulfilling your desire for love by expressing it first to yourself and also your partner, which will almost always generate the feeling of love in your partner. This is what you can do, this is the power you have, and no one can prevent you from doing that. But, you don’t have the power to simply demand others to love you, or control what others do. Understanding this very important principle will make the difference between happiness and problems in relationship.
We usually create difficulties in our relationships when we let our desires get in the way, or when we fail to control others’ behaviors or reactions. When we don’t get our desires met, desires such as getting our way, getting what we want, getting love and attention, being shown respect and honor, being made to feel important, and so on, we usually get angry, disappointed, sad, resentful or revengeful, which could create problems in relationship. When that happens we need to stop and ask ourselves what it is we really desire, what we can do ourselves to fulfill that desire, and then give it to ourselves rather than demanding it from others.
d) There are several barriers to falling in love and staying in Love, as the author mentioned one of the most challenging barriers to falling in love is the issue of psychological barriers to falling in love and maintaining an intimate relationship, as Otto Kernberg described in order for to fall in love and maintain a relationship, an individual has to reach a certain emotional depth and maturity. The author outlined the following as some barriers to falling in love. (1) Primitive idealization of the beloved and childish dependence. The author described this barrier as character of personality disorder. Indeed people with this disorder tend to have very unstable interpersonal relationship (2) Sexual promiscuity, (3) Total inability to love etc
e) Arousal is not enough to fall in love, this statement is very true because one can be aroused but does not necessarily be attracted to love. Sexual arousal is the arousal of sexual desires in anticipation for sexual activity. People can be sexually aroused by different things and in a variety of situations. An arousal may be physical or mental in nature. A person may be sexually aroused by another person or by particular aspects of that person (eg. hair color, build, smell, smile, etc) or by a non-human object. When another person sexually arouses a person, it may be seen as an indicator of that person’s sexual orientation.
Most people are sexually aroused by a physical stimulation of an erogenous area, especially if it is accompanied with the anticipation of imminent sexual activity.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The lessons learnt from the book “falling in love” why we choose the people we choose is great, it enables me to understand the psycho-socio aspect of relationship and also facts that contributes to falling in love and staying there.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements, which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“…an individual has to reach a certain emotional depth and maturity” This quotation got my attention because I thought it was very true, most people fall in love for various reason but in other to maintain and stay in love, it requires high level of emotional depth and maturity.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?
I thought the author’s choice of words for the books was very basic making it easier for readers to follow and to understand without any difficulty. There was so section of the book that wasn’t understandable or clear to me.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Nope, the book did not contain exercises for the reader to complete instead the author used a lot of illustrations and analogy to explain the content of the subject matter.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.
.I thought the authored covered almost every important area on the subject. She actually simplified love to its basic.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.
A. How interesting was it to read? 7
B. How helpful were the contents? 7
C. How easy was it to understand? 8
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8