Rwamatwara Egide – Assessments – International Institute for Global Leadership

As A Man Thinketh
Assessment by Rwamatwara Egide

1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples.

The main and important ideas that I found in this book basically turn around the role of the thoughts in shaping a human being’s character and behavior, success and/or failure; and his/her capacity to mold, improve and/or worsen his life by simply working on his thoughts accordingly. In other words, the text implies that a person owns his destiny and can alter it and orient it towards a certain direction of his/her own choice. I have two positions regarding this approach, meaning that I am in favor of the whole idea, but one should also recognize that some circumstances are beyond individual’s control.

I buy the idea that in general, and all things being equal, positive thinking accompanied with hard working lead to positive results and individual progress. By positive thinking, one’s mind is trained to believe that there is no place for total failure. By this positive thinking, high self esteem is developed which allows an individual to set up his/her goals and work hard to attain them. With this attitude even failure is considered temporary and as an incentive to adjust the strategies. The individual is not discouraged because the mind does not recognize total failure. For example, I personally believed that I couldn’t fail in school when I have regularly participated in the lectures; and indeed I have never failed!

The idea which I concur with is that when you train your mind to be joyous, smiling, respectful and helpful, you end up, as individual, becoming ever smiling, happy and sociable. The opposite is also true that when you continually feed your mind with negative and black ideas, you will end up acting and behaving badly.

However, this is in a normal environment enabling every one to choose to be good and behave positively. There are circumstances where an individual is not given this chance. Where the text tells us that the person is always master of his thoughts and hence of his outcome is not always true. We all know that an individual does not live in isolation. He/she lives in constant interactions with friends, family members, church fellows, school mates and the wider society. All this entourage has a share in nurturing and molding the mind of the person. Thus, although we can say that the individual still retains the capacity of resisting the influence of his/her entourage to mold as he/she pleases we can’t lose sight of the effect of these outside influences. However, outside influence plays both ways, it can positively help the individual mold his/her attitude as it can affect negatively his/her thinking, hence her life.

The other strong idea that I fully support is that for one to succeed, he/she has to dream (think) about that success and give it a shape already in the mind then work towards its achievement. I agree with the author when he says that there are some people who lament that they are poor but stay the whole day loitering around doing nothing. The example of workers who lament that their grades and salaries are low but spend an entire day doing nothing is very common. Where do they think that their increment will come from if they do not work hard to increase the company’s income?

Others believe in miracles which will one day make them rich. The only miracle that brings wealth is dreaming of that worth, setting up strategies and hard working towards that dream’s realization. Again one may argue quite rightly that there are some people who are hard workers but do not succeed and others who put less effort and still succeed. Here I would concur with the author’s position that it is not enough to have good thought to succeed but also hard working. Inversely speaking, it is not enough to work hard, there is also need to work systematically and towards a purpose, a goal.

I also like and concur with the idea that a true man will have to seat down and reflect on his life. Only after doing this exercise can he adjust his life and improve it. Thus he will not accuse others of being the cause of his failures as if they entirely control his life. However, we are again talking about normal circumstances. We know very well that some people can block others and make sure they do not succeed. I know of some people who have been forced to resign from the jobs they were performing pretty well, and others who have been forced to drop the deal bid with a death threat. I don’t even mention those who have been killed because of their success or to eliminate them from the competition.

The other idea that I enjoyed reading is that lazy thoughts create weak and unsuccessful people who turn into awkward lifestyle of begging, stealing, prostitution and other unlawful acts. On the other hand, people with thoughts of dignity, courage, self-reliance and combativity make it in life. Even when faced with difficulties, they handle them accordingly and do not panic. Thus, I like the advice of preparing one’s mind, feeding it with positive thoughts throughout one’s life. This way the chances are high for the person to succeed in life.

The idea that clean thoughts or positive ones make clean/positive habits is great. By cultivating positive thinking, one trains the mind to be positive and this translated into actions and behavior. I believe that when a person sees the world around him positively, mourn less about his/her shortfalls but strive to redress and correct his/her mistakes whenever they occur, such a person will have less trouble and will succeed in life.

I also agree that effort and practice are the core factors of success. You don’t sleep and wake up a lawyer, a doctor, a soccer player or a pilot. You simply tell yourself that you want to be a lawyer and start working towards that by raising money for schooling and reading hard to get the degree. This effort and practice brings perfection, but to reach this end, the road is full of barriers and difficulties that one has to handle efficiently. This concludes in the saying that where there is will there is might.

2. Can you relate the ideas or concepts in this book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, etc? Please use personal examples in your explanation.

Most of the ideas in this text translate my own beliefs. For example, I believe in hard work for any success, and I am a hard worker. I have told myself from the very young age that where there is no pain there is no gain. My hard working has always been rewarded. Of course some times you may not get exactly what you struggled to get but at least, so I say, you must say to yourself, ‘I gave the best of my self, I put all my effort, this is the best I could do’. If with this you still don’t get there you double the effort and surely at the end you will get what you aim for.

The other idea is to continually clean one’s mind by feeding it with positive thinking. I believe that when you want to be good, despite difficulties of life, you will always be good. If you tell your mind that you shouldn’t be angry with anything, then you will handle unfair situations and actions without necessarily being angry. By removing the spirit of violence, hatred, selfishness and bitterness from your mind, this will translate into your words, into your actions and behavior. No one is born violent, brutal, mean or cruel. Or these vices are developed and end up become second nature.

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.

I wouldn’t call it a new idea but the whole idea of training the mind by feeding it with positive thoughts so as to mold one’s behavior and actions was original. I had a vague idea of this ideology but the text was so articulate and explanatory that the whole idea became clearer and more practical to me.

The idea of conquering fear, weakness and failure for a high self esteem and success was also original and it strengthened my belief in the same direction.

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?

It rather strengthened my beliefs in terms of positive thinking.

5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

There are some ideas that I consider to be exaggerated and that should be taken with some moderation. For example, I did not totally agree with the idea that disease and ill hearth or good health are rooted in thought. This idea implies that those who fall sick are those with bad thoughts; and vice versa, those with clean thoughts never fall sick. This is too ideological and goes against natural laws and scientific proofs. Sickness is biological degradation or pathological state of the body which can befall positive thinkers and negative ones alike. I wouldn’t buy the idea that with positive thinking one will never fall sick. If the author is talking about psychiatric cases of illness may be he can have a point. Some mental illnesses stem from spiritual failure or the state of the mind with negative thoughts. Madness can also be interpreted as originating from wrong representation of the environment around the patient or simply the failure of the mind. However, this idea cannot be generalized to all types of illnesses.

I also take with some measure of realism the idea that with positive thinking one never get old, that at ninety a positive thinker looks very young whereas at forty a negative thinker looks ninety. I believe that with positive thinking, ever smiling, one keeps his/her face clean and looks younger than the age, but this should not be exaggerated.

Moreover, the author is putting all the blame on the individual, forgetting that the environment contribute a great deal of shaping the mind of the individual. I consider that the text overemphasized the power of the individual at the expense of the nature and the society within which the individual is found. The dual influence between society and individual is neglected.

I also recognize the strengths but also the limits, be it temporary or permanent, of the individual. Thus, the truism that the text put across that many men cannot be enslaved by one man is too simplistic. I believe that one individual can amass worth and power, built fortresses and army to conquer and subjugate entire population. Until this population come up with superior force to overthrow tyranny and subjugation, the latter remains the truth and reality.

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

Determination: The idea that a man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart, and set out to accomplish it is what I call determination and which is the mother of all successes. Thus I agree with the position that those with no central purpose in their life fall an easy prey to petty worries, fears, troubles, and self-pitying, all which are indications of weakness and which leads to failure, unhappiness and loss.

Hope: The idea that he who conquered fear and doubt has conquered failure. With faith and belief in oneself the sky is the limit.

Positivism: One has to look at the environment around him with a positive thinking.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

The book tells us that what a person has in his/her mind is what comes out in what he/she says and what he/she does. Our actions and behaviors translate our thinking. Thus, by molding one’s mind feeding it with a certain type of thoughts, one is shaping his personality.

Please Rate this book on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8

Comments – Feel free to share any additional comments about the book or about the ratings:

I personally enjoyed reading the book. It is full of moral lessons and should be recommended to all schools in order to shape the minds of growing children. I admit I could have said a lot in the assessment about the book but time was not on my side. I also wish to have others’ comments about the book.

Jonathan Livingston Seagull
Assessment by Rwamatwara Egide (Congo)

1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples.

This book is full of important ideas. I have captured the following ones:

Goals: In life one needs to set up goals and objectives and strive to attain/achieve them. Jonathan had set up a goal of learning how to fly and to excel in flying high and diving. He struggled to achieve this goal and finally he made it. Working towards a fixed objective helps to measure one’s achievements and failures. Lack of clear objective makes an individual a follower and never a leader. Such an individual is not even capable of giving a direction to his/her own life as he/she just follows others. A clear goal makes you change some of the routines in order to be able to reach the target; and change is important and fundamental to any development.

Sacrifice: The struggle to achieve one’s goal is never straightforward. The road towards success is full of potholes, humps and barriers. It also involves sacrifices and requires extreme effort. Those who accept to make the sacrifices and the suffering that extreme effort involves make it to their final goal. Jonathan made the biggest sacrifice by accepting to be outcasted by his group in order to pursue his goal. His heavy sacrifice was rewarded by his achievement. At the end he was the star and role model within his folk. He commended respect for the same gulls who once saw in him a rebellious and deviant fellow.

Removing constraining traditional/cultural taboos, myths and beliefs: Some times our cultural beliefs constitute barriers to our development and restrain our personal/individual achievement. Some individuals who are courageous enough to go against these constraining beliefs in pursuit of their goal succeed in life although they face the challenge of being punished by the custodians of cultural norms. Society exercise a lot of pressure on individuals, however, some individuals transform the society by their brave and adventurous actions. Jonathan had to break the group’s rules in order to achieve his ambition and he did indeed achieve his goals at the price of being cursed by the elders and the whole group.

Hard work: The struggle to achieve a goal requires hard work. Many of us do not use all our physical and intellectual capacities to achieve our ambitions. Some even say that it is impossible before they give it a try. Jonathan proves us that nothing is impossible when you convince yourself that you can do it and make all your effort to do it.

Positivism: In every action you take to achieve your goal, you need to be positive. Failures and mistake should not discourage our effort but should be means for our improvement. Jonathan proved this point. Whenever he was about to give up because of failures and conflicting beliefs in his way, he decided to carry on until he reached his goal.

Sharing: the book also tells us that it is no point being successful or being knowledgeable if you don’t share with others. The more you share, the more you gain in terms of knowledge and ownership. After achieving his objective, Jonathan did not keep his knowledge to himself. His next goal was to change his fellow gulls and to raise their self esteem. He taught them what he knew and what he had practiced.

Love and care: We are all called to love one another, especially our group and strive to see our community members improving. Jonathan had learned that his kin have the major problem of low self esteem and passivity. He decided to combat that problem first and day by day he managed to change many of them.

The ideas in Jonathan portray many of my personal beliefs. For example, I believe that if you do not take up your destiny in your own hands, no matter how others help you, you will never stand on your own feet. One needs to set up his goal and strive to achieve it. The outside support comes to complement our own effort. I also believe that effort and hard work lead to success. Like Jonathan, I believe in removing some traditional beliefs that constitute barriers to some communities’ development. I also know that some individuals, groups and communities need people like Jonathan who inspire them and lead them towards progress and development.

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.

I wouldn’t call them new but most of the main ideas in the text reinforced my beliefs. For example, the idea of setting up a goal and work hard toward its achievement is not new to me. However, the way it is illustrated through the life of Jonathan is unique. The ideas in the text look simple and straightforward but very deep in their meaning. When you read the text, it drives to other personal experiences and with that its so rich.

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?

Yes and No. I had not realized to what extent traditional beliefs can constitute barriers to development. I used to think that every community must develop from its traditional ideologies and cultural beliefs. In this book, development and progress comes about by detaching oneself, or rather by being chassed, from one’s group and its cultural beliefs. The good thing is that this detachment is not permanent. It is temporary, just the time to prove to the fellow kinsmen that by changing this and that one can do better. Jonathan experience is clear. Had he obeyed the tradition and listened to the elders, he would have never been able to exploit his talent and to realize his dream. This happens in our every day lives. Many times we give up some thing simply because doing it would make some one or the entire community unhappy; or else we do this just to please some one or our group even when inside we are not convinced that it is right. Courageous people like Jonathan accept to break the rules to satisfy their noble ambitions and/or to serve the community.

5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

The stubbornness of the community saying that if you go against the tradition you have to leave the group. I find this cultural practice too extreme infringes individual rights. With such belief, there wouldn’t be any progress because progress means change. Change in ways of doing things in order to be more effective; change in believes and behaviours, etc.
The other idea to which I don’t disagree totally but which needs to be taken with some moderation is the idea of adventure and/or rebelling. These can yield positive results but some times they can drive straight into catastrophe. It is true that one is free to lead his/her life the way he/she pleases in pursuit of his goals and objectives but a minimum respect of societal norms of conduct is necessary. Furthermore, we need the support of the society in our ventures and in most cases being out casted can affect our achievement. The success is not always guarantied but its always worth a try.

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

The most helpful is the whole idea of being positive and working hard towards one’s objective. The least helpful is the idea of chasing someone just because he disagrees with a certain belief, especially when his/her disagreement does not harm any body.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

The main idea this book is trying to put across is that in life one needs to have a goal, develop strategies to attain it and work had to achieve it. Success cannot just come from no where; it derives from one’s effort and steadiness in pursuit of an objective.

Please rate each of the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is high and one is low.
A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 8
C. How easy was it to understand? 6
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8

Comments: For those whose English is not the mother tongue, the book can be kind of difficult. It requires a certain level of education to be able to detect the ideas behind what is said.

The New Dynamics Of Winning
Assessment by Egide Rwamatwara (DR Congo)

1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples.

The most inspiring idea on which the whole book is built is the idea that we all have the potential to live up to our dreams. What makes us different, successful or failure in life is not necessarily talent or lack of it but the way we use and apply our capacities to achieve our objectives. The author uses sport performance techniques to demonstrate this idea. The idea of focusing on peak performance while striving to reach our objectives is commendable.

The second point that I find important in one’s struggle to reach the highest performance and to succeed in life is the equation: desire and action equal motivation. This complements the first idea by telling us that it is not enough to have a dream but most of all we need to have the desire and the willingness to work hard towards its achievement. The other idea closely linked to this one and that I find quite original is the idea that nobody else is going to take you fishing. It is true that we all need a hand and support; care and sympathy, however, the major part leading to one’s success and fame must be played by the individual him/herself. As the author clearly demonstrates it, should that expected support, care or sympathy not come by, we should not quit the race but instead we should proceed firmly towards the finishing line which is the achievement of our dream.

The other inspiring idea is that the road towards success is not smooth and straight, rather it is full of humps and barriers. What makes a difference is how one develops strategies of overcoming these challenges encountered on the road leading to success. The secret proposed by the author – and which I agree with – in order to successfully overcome these barriers is to train thoroughly and to act intelligently. It is not a matter of how much resources at our disposal but how best and intelligently do we make use of the little resources we have. To make a difference one needs to look deep inside him/her and find that rare and scarce talent or resource and exploit it to the maximum. The example proposed by the author about LeMonde, the cyclist champion, can be found in every field of competition and profession environment; basically in everyday life.

In addition to coming up with good strategies to win the competition, says the author, one needs to be willing to pay the price it takes to get to the finishing line. This, he says, involves enduring pain, having guts and determination and never giving up when occasional failures, setbacks and shortfalls occur. I find this idea so much encouraging and real for someone who really wants to achieve his/her objectives.

The other idea that I fully share and recommend is that for any success to come by one needs to be prepared mentally to go all the way through and to be convinced that it is possible and that “I” am capable of doing it. This helps in enduring the pain, stress, frustration and shortfalls involved. It also helps one to keep away from discouraging comments and the cheers and woos from the fans and supporters of the temporary winning competitor. With mental preparedness, one knows that he/she is constantly in the middle of a competition. We are all surrounded by different types of people, some support us, others wish and work towards our downfall, and others are not bothered of whatever we become. The onus rests on each and every one of us to set up objectives and strive to achieve them regardless of the sympathy or enmity that we are likely to encounter on the way. The driving force must be the final destination which is the achievement of our ultimate goal. In this situation, as the author rightly says, one is required to put together his/her physical, technical, intellectual and mental capacities in order to pull through the challenging environment of competition. As the author also says, one’s mind must be in control of any other intervening force so as to bring the whole body in harmony towards one and unique destination which is the achievement of the set objective.

The other inspiring idea is the symbolic representation of commitment which, says the author, is like riding a bicycle. Indeed riding a bicycle towards the top of a hill requires a continuous effort and keeping on pedaling, otherwise you fall down or you go back to the bottom of the hill. Likewise, the struggle to success requires such a commitment to enable you not only to reach the top but also and most importantly stay there. This struggle also requires endurance, perseverance, discipline and above all patience. For example, you don’t dream of becoming a medical doctor and wake up treating patients and making money. Rather, once you make this dream and convince yourself that this is what you want to become, a long race is set up which is likely to last several years of hard work, stress and frustration. Throughout these years leading to graduation as medical doctor you have to work hard, pass innumerable tests and exams, source funds for school fees and books, and sacrifice most of your social and leisure time for you to prepare your exams. Your reward is not only that medical degree that you get at the end but also the personality, the respect and the social status that the title of Doctor brings to its holder. However, that’s not enough because that status must be protected through hard work so as to remain the best and respected physician. This requires some rigueur, professionalism, continuous research which forces you to sacrifice some of your social and leisure time.

The other idea that inspired me in this book is the approach to self-esteem or lack of it. I agree with the author when he says that no opinion is greater than that which you hold of yourself. Indeed we are all our best judges and hence no one else should be allowed to control your dreams or change the course of your path towards your goal. As the author rightly says, you hold the key to your personal success and happiness. As such, continues the author, you can be your own worst enemy, or your own best friend. With this in mind the sky is the limit for someone committed to success.

The debate on fame, fortune and integrity was also inspiring to me. I fully agree with the author that honesty, consistency and commitment in all one’s relationships is greater than fame and fortune. Our attitude counts a great deal towards our success. Behavior breeds behavior we always say. Thus, the more we respect others is the same way they will respect us regardless of their or our own social status or position in the company. I like the observation that no matter how much wealth or recognition the world lays at your feet don’t allow your personal integrity to be contracted by your behavior in any area of your life. It is not just a matter of preserving your reputation. It is a matter of living life with character. To me this observation says it all, especially in terms of leadership. Honesty, integrity and loyalty make a difference among professional competitors and these characteristics can easily lead one to fame and success.

The approach to what makes a good leader was so inspiring. I liked the simplification of qualities of a good leader that good leaders are never so big that they can’t bend down to help someone else; that they (good leaders) are never so wise that they don’t remember who taught them; that they are never so gifted that they won’t share their skills with others; that they are never so fearless that they don’t play by the rules and live by the law; that they are never such big winners that they forget what it feels like to loose. This looks like the biblical teaching which says that if you want to be big, make yourself the smallest of all and if you want to be a good leader make yourself a slave of your followers.

The idea of team work and leadership was also inspiring, especially the observation that leadership is not based on theory or technique. It depends on your ability to subordinate your own ego for the good of the team. In fact leadership is not dictatorship. As the author rightly puts it, authentic leaders listen and learn. They ask questions before they offer opinion. In short, as the author concludes, the foundation of real leadership is empowerment, which is the desire to understand the needs of the people who are depending upon you, and the ability to create an environment in which they themselves can fulfill those needs.

Most of the ideas discussed in this book reflect my own conviction, beliefs and values. For example, I treasure values such as honesty, loyalty, care and selflessness in my various social settings and activities. I also cherish values such as integrity and professionalism in my work environment, in my social entourage and in my family.

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.

I wouldn’t say that this or that idea was completely new to me. It’s the way it was explained or the illustrations that accompanied an idea that was most of the time quite original. Fore example the definition of a leader through the good qualities of a leader.

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?

It has not changed my thinking; it rather reinforced my thought regarding hard work and commitment for success or toward achieving one’s objective.

5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

I wouldn’t say that I totally disagree but find that one or the other idea was exaggerated or did not consider the other side of the coin. For example the idea of not punishing mistakes is to be taken with caution. Part of the idea is noble, whereby you encourage your subordinates to learn from their mistakes so as to avoid them and report every mistake so that it can be corrected. The other side of the coin would be that when subordinates know that they will not be punished if they make mistakes they lose precaution and focus in their work and this can lead to catastrophe. After all, rules and laws are there to be respected and the role of reward and punishment is to enforce their compliance by rewarding those who observe them and punishing those who breach them.

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

All ideas that I found in the book were helpful; I singled out the following as the most helpful ideas:

Commitment: this idea is well developed in the book and gives hope that with tenacity, perseverance and consistency, the end result is success. Without it, no matter how attractive is the dream, it will never be achieved.

Self-esteem and confidence: This is the mother of success. In addition to commitment one needs to believe in him/herself and be convinced that it is possible and “I” can do it.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

The book tells us that the path to success starts with a dream and the commitment to fulfill it. However, this path is not smooth, there is pain and frustration, but with perseverance and hard work that pain becomes joy when we reap the fruit of our effort.

Please Rate this book on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

Comments – Feel free to share any additional comments about the book or about the ratings:

Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude
Assessment by Egide Rwamatwara (Congo)

1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples.

The whole idea of Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) and its opposite counterpart Negative Mental Attitude was inspiring (NMA). For a person with PMA everything becomes easy and/or possible and inversely speaking a person with NMA finds it hard to succeed even when all elements are gathered for him to succeed. The PMA helps a willing person to determine his/her fate and destiny by being active and proactive rather than passive while dealing with the hardships of his/her environment.

I liked the idea of Fuller’s mother that we are poor not because of God. We are poor because we don’t want to change and liberate ourselves from poverty chains. These poverty chains take different forms ranging from cultural and religious beliefs or simply ignorance. It can be applicable to one individual or to an entire community. Until this individual or the community wake up and develop strategies to free themselves from the chains of poverty they will remain poor blaming God and the world for their misery. I am very much convinced by this idea, although some circumstances beyond the individual or community’s control can be the cause of their poverty. These circumstances can for instance stem from bad leadership or political strategies aimed at keeping an individual or a group of people in a state of poverty. However, an individual with PMA will always find a way of escaping these limitations and make it.

Another idea that captured my attention and which goes in line with my beliefs and conviction is the idea that any thing in life that is worth having is worth working for. Its goes also in line with another truism that no pain no gain. Most of the time we blame the world for our failures and misery forgetting to evaluate our own effort towards our success or failure. Most of us want to always have everything readily made and served on a silver plate. We expect everything from the government, from our parents, relatives or friends without making our own effort to contribute towards the production of the wealth that generates what we want. With such attitude we miss the joy and pride of being the master of our own life and the architects of our success.

Moreover, with the attitude of expecting everything from others, we loose the spirit of ownership and responsibility. That’s where you see people wasting or being careless because they don’t value things since they have not sweated to have them. They know or think that when these things get damaged or old, new ones will be provided. This spirit is found in many public services where equipments are not well taken care of because the users do not participate in generating them or are not affected individually when these equipments get damaged or old. It is different in private companies where any waste or damage constitutes a loss to the company and hence affect the benefit of the entire staff of the company. Because of that, every staff in private companies seems to be careful, proactive, hardworking and responsible. I believe that the same spirit should be developed by all staff regardless of their status or type of their company. Every staff member should be proud of meriting the salary that he/she gets at the end of the month. In other words, one’s services should be worth the remuneration that he/she gets. Furthermore, if one wants to get something he/she should work hard to get it and not folding his/her arms and waits for God or others to provide.

Another inspiring idea is the one according to which, every adversity has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit. It is a reality that most of our modern inventions were made during periods of wars or serious disasters and crises. It is a situation where an individual or a community faced with a serious crisis works hard to develop mechanisms of protecting oneself. The example given in the book where Tom Dempsey, with his wooden foot, kicked the longest field goal ever kicked in a professional football game says it all. Many instances testify this reality. For instance, several reports in USA and elsewhere have shown that children of new immigrants, despite their modest family background and other limiting factors of new socio-cultural and economic hardships, do better in schools and business than local children. This is because the former have no one else to rely on but themselves. They know that their parents have little means to support them and that their future is in their hands, hence they work extra hard to succeed in school and in business. This is because sometimes problems can be a source of inspiration and problems may be good because repeated victories over our problems are the rungs on our ladder of success. However, adversity can transform us into monsters. As it is rightly said in the book, necessity/adversity is the mother of invention and the father of crime.

The other inspiring idea is the hard and continuous work and trials to achieve one’s goals. It is well said that greatness comes to those who develop a burning desire to achieve high goals. That success is achieved and maintained by those who try and keep on trying with PMA. That to become an expert achiever in any human activity, it take continuous practice. All these are true realities and I associate them with another inspiring idea that we need to read books and keep on learning from others’ experiences and from casual events in our daily lives as did Abraham Lincoln. It is true, as testified in the book, that when you seek success with PMA, you keep trying, you keep searching to find something more. Failure is experienced by those who, when they experience defeat, stop trying to find the something more.

The other important idea is that we are different and that everyone has many talents for succeeding or surmounting his special problems. I liked this quote: ‘In all the history of the world there was never anyone else exactly like you, and in all the infinity of time to come, there will never be another’. This is true and this difference we make should be materialized in our daily actions by using our various talents to maximize the opportunities towards our success.

The other interesting idea is the one saying, ‘your world will change whether or not you choose to change it. But you have the power to choose its direction’. This is in line with the idea that we give a meaning to our life, to our world and our decisions and behaviours shape our future. I agree with the statement that if a man is right, his world will be right. If you are unhappy with your world and want to change it, the place to start is yourself. To have peace, be peaceful; to be loved, love first.

The other inspirational idea from the book is the role of motivation. As well said in the book, one of the greatest services you can render to children is to motivate them and compliment them whenever they accomplish or perform a good action. Criticism is inimical to development. The example of that mother who helped her blind son to feel content and succeed despite his impaired sight is commendable. It is important to instill in children the sense of striving to succeed. It is also important to help them to select the right kind of friends and associates. As rightly said, to motivate others, give them confidence in themselves.

The other commendable idea is to develop inspirational dissatisfaction which is the state of feeling constantly the urge to improve and perfect not only yourself, but also the world around you.

Most of these ideas discussed above match perfectly well with my own conviction, beliefs and the values I treasure most. For instance the idea that any thing worth having is worth working for is my philosophy. I believe in this philosophy and I try to live by it. Before I seek assistance, I have to make first my own effort and only when I find that I have exhausted my own resources do I call for help. The other idea that I cherish is the inspirational dissatisfaction whereby I strive to improve every bit of my life and the environment within which I live.

The other idea that meets my cherished values is the idea and importance of living the virtues. Although it is not always possible to be perfect and that some virtues may conflict, it is important to internalize these virtues and try to live by them. This helps to care for others and to lead a selfless but satisfying life.

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.

I can’t say that this or that idea was new to me but the formulation of all ideas and the examples taken from various areas and settings of life was original. However, the concept of PMA and NMA were new to me.

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?

I can’t say that it has challenged or changed my thinking but it gave me new directions and ways of visualizing the world around me. It also reinforced my views and philosophy towards setting goals and striving to achieve them.

5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

I can’t say that I disagree with the idea but I found this idea repelling to some people. I found that the book refers several times to the Bible. I have no problem with that and I am a Christian but I think of those who are not believers or those who are not Christians. They may find the book unnecessarily discriminatory yet the ideas referring to the Bible could have been put across in another way without necessarily referring to the Bible and offending or repelling a certain group of readers.

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

The whole idea of developing a Positive Mental Attitude and eliminating the Negative Mental Attitude was helpful.

The idea of nearsightedness versus farsightedness was original. It is true that most of the time we go very far to look for opportunities that are right before us; and other times we confine ourselves to the surrounding opportunities ignoring greater opportunities obtainable far away. A balance in short and far sightedness is important.

The other idea that I find helpful is the whole idea that every adversity has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit. Problems teach us endurance and patience which are key elements to success.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

The book talks about how to succeed and surmount problems by developing positive attitude. With PMA one succeeds where others have failed. With PMA one leads a satisfying and complete life. With NMA the opposite happens.

Psycho-Cybernetics 2000
Assessment by Rwamatwara Egide (Congo)

1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples.

The book has several inspiring ideas. The ideas that I find most important are those that orient the reader to searching the reasons and root causes of his/her failures. The book helps us dig down in our historical past to find causes of our present troubles and disorders, especially the status of our self-esteem, which is a key factor to any individual’s success or failure. As the author says, our self-image reflects or is directly affected by the way we were brought up.

For example the author warns parents about what they tell or say to their children. The author says, “be careful what you say to your children. They may agree with you. Before calling a child ‘stupid’ or clumsy’ or ‘bad’ or ‘a disappointment’, it is important for a parent to consider the question, ‘Is this how I wish my child to experience him-or herein is holding us back self?’” This is very important because most of us parents wrongly believe that we are allowed to call our children all sorts of names according to our mood forgetting that the poor children who look at us as their role model believe in what we tell them, good and bad, and end up internalizing it for future use. Childhood is a critical time for a human being as it is during this period that we accumulate the knowledge which serves as a foundation for our future development. Thus, if we are taught and treated positively in our childhood we grow up with positive thinking and behavior and when we are always treated negatively and criticized all the time during our childhood the chances are that we loose our self-esteem and positive thinking throughout our life.

The author goes on to say that our belief systems begin in early childhood with reflections we receive from our parents. These reflections serve as our first indicators of our personal worth. As we grow and develop, other mirrors are held up to us by family members, peers and teachers. These reflections form the basis of our self image as we grow to maturity. By challenging our false beliefs and using our imagination to create new ones-new memories, in effect- we can change our attitudes and behavior and discover new abilities within ourselves.

This is also true in as much as our parents, teachers and peers tend to influence our thinking and behaviors. If we are always told that we are weak, we tend to believe so and this affects our performance and achievement. Yet when we are told that we are strong or intelligent we tend to believe so and strive to succeed in everything. It is important, as the author says, to scrutinize our beliefs so as to be sure that they reflect the reality especially if these beliefs affect our performance and success.

This happens very often in our working environment or in schools. A bad manager who always criticizes an employee turns the latter into a failure. In fact he/she blocks the employees’ learning and improvement mechanisms. The employee is hypnotized. Same applies to a teacher who rebukes pupils when they make mistakes. He/she switches off their ignition of initiative and adventure. It becomes a serious problem when the victims of these criticisms believe that they are not worth any thing. As the author says, ‘every human being is hypnotized to some extent, either by ideas he has uncritically accepted from others, or ideas he has repeated to himself or convinced himself are true. These negative ideas have exactly the same effect on our behavior as the negative ideas implanted into the mind of a hypnotized subject’. However, the author proposes a remedy to such unfortunate situations which is to free oneself by getting rid of ideas and beliefs that affect our self-image and lead us into failure.

The other important idea that I find in this book is the way the author advises us about the goal setting process and the way to strive to achieve the goals we set for ourselves. He says that our automatic mechanism needs a goal to strive for. If false beliefs keep us from setting goals, it becomes impossible for us to reach any. Yet often the only thing that keeps us from breaking out of our confining life patterns is a belief that a chain is holding us back. It doesn’t matter where the belief comes from. Once it’s planted in our subconscious mind we accept it as true and behave in a manner consistent with.

This is very important because it is the core element of our success or failure in life. In fact, it is one thing to set up goals and another to achieve them. Many of us have brilliant ideas and dreams but we never achieve them simply because in our subconscious some thing holds us back. Some times this thing is luck or guts and a spirit of adventure. Achieving goals requires risk taking and relentless effort. Moreover, the path that leads to achieving one’s goals is never straight; it is full of obstacles, failures and setbacks.

The author warns us to remember that no path is absolutely straight. Life doesn’t work that way. The moment you start pursuing your course, you’re likely to find yourself veering off target. Don’t let it be an excuse for procrastination or self-punishment. Trust your automatic mechanism to make the necessary corrections. Keep vivid in your imagination the image of what you wish to make happen in your life while at the same time remaining open to the adjustments you may have to make along the way. If you set goals that are sincere and follow a specific action plan, you’ll deserve the success and happiness you’ll get. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. The trick is to remember that goals are a process, not a place to be. You will encounter slowdowns, obstacles and diversions during the process, but there are steps you can take to anticipate, recognize and move past them. This simply means that it is worthy it to keep on trying and ignore criticisms and discouraging comments.

As the author puts it, nothing worthwhile happens overnight. He also advises us not to be discouraged if we encounter setbacks. Often these “setbacks” are nothing more than worry over what might happen. The author also warns about the mistakes that every human being is likely to make in his/her path towards achieving his/her goals. He says that instead of learning from our mistakes, we tend to let them intimidate us. He advises us to regard our mistakes not as indicators of failure but as steps on the road to success. I personally find this advice the most important of all in one’s life.

The other important idea put across by the author in this book is that before setting a goal one has to sit down and evaluate the resources available to achieve the goal. This means that we have to be realistic when we set our goals. It is good to dream but when it comes to set up goals in life, the latter should be realistic, measurable and attainable. The author says, “by combining practical considerations with your dreams and desires, you can get an idea of what’s most important to you”. He goes on to say that, “when you sit down to determine your goals, start by considering all the areas of your life in which you want to make changes-job, career, romantic satisfaction, health, family life, education, creative endeavors, community work, spiritual development-whatever is important to you. Don’t neglect your life’s wish, the goal you wrote down as the one you’d most like to achieve”. This is very important because most of the time we make dreams and not goals. It is good to have dreams because they stimulate action but for dreams to be transformed into achievable goals one needs to have, or first gather, the required skills and resources to achieve the set goals. It is one thing to dream, it is another to make the dream come true.

The other important idea in this book is that of telling the reader that he/she is the master of his/her life, including the choice of goals we set. As the author says, we should keep in mind that we don’t need outside help to make us aware of our need for change, to guide us in identifying the beliefs that keep us following negative habits, to teach us how to relax, to set goals for us or to direct us through the procedures. All we need is the willingness to change and the patience to allow Psycho-cybernetics to take effect.

This is very true because most of us tend to sit there waiting for a promotion to come by or a relative to set business for us or our parents to decide for us the school program to take. We forget that the true happiness comes from a success or achievement of which we have conceived and executed the plan. Most of us lack that spirit of responsibility and ownership of our dreams and achievement. We tend to be always at the receiving end and lack creativity. We also want things to happen overnight forgetting that real success must follow a continuous line. In this regard, the following author’s statement is quite inspiring: “the word success comes from a Latin word meaning “to follow”. It’s a future oriented concept. If you don’t consider what’s ahead when pursuing your goals, you may reach the place where you thought you would find success only to discover that it’s not there.

I agree with the author’s observation and affirmation that every one of us always acts, feels, and behaves in a way that is consistent with our self-image-regardless of the reality of that image. I believe that when one is convinced that he/she is capable and well equipped to carry out a certain task, the chances are that he/she will make it and the opposite is also true that when a person is convinced that he/she cannot make it, the chances are that he/she will fail some where somehow. I have always lived by this principle. When I am convinced that I am capable of performing a certain task it may take long or a lot of effort and energy but at the end I make it through. This idea has always been my guiding principle in my academic and professional work.

I also agree with the author when he says that our body reacts according to what we tell it. When we convince ourselves that we are tired and cannot do any thing more, our body behaves likewise. My experience is that when we are put in a difficult environment of survival of the fittest, those with a high esteem and who believe in their strength survive and those with low esteem and fragile in their beliefs don’t make it. For example when we tell ourselves that we are not good enough to qualify for that job, we cannot pass the test and interview for that particular job. Inversely speaking, when we convince ourselves that we are capable of achieving a certain goal, despite the obstacles and barriers towards its achievement the chances are that we achieve that goal. This is my guiding principle and it always bear fruits for me.

I also share the author’s belief that surrounding oneself with people who want you to succeed makes a difference. In fact many people pretend to care but the advice they give us tend to scare us from venturing into our dreamed life and we loose opportunities by being faithful to their advices. Thus I agree with the author’s advice to first think of people to call, write or spend time with who can help us toward our goal-people in positions of influence, people who have achieved the goal we’re striving for, people who know people. For example, I personally enjoy participating in conferences with high caliber speakers because I learn not only from what they say but mainly from their personality and their achievement. They become my role models. We all learn from success stories and strive to follow the footsteps of successful stars in different fields of life.

Moreover, friends and people we hang around with contribute immensely towards our shaping ideas, dreams goals. Therefore I agree with the author’s advice to make a point of being with people who are supportive and avoiding people who will discourage us. However, it is not that simple because, as the author rightly says, “it may be that the people most hostile to our goal are our family or closest friends. Our goal may be in conflict with theirs. They may be jealous of our goals or fearful of changes in our relationship. It’s important to not to allow guilt to throw roadblocks in our way. We have to be ourselves and stand to what we believe is satisfying to us even if it may not satisfy our close friends and/or parents.

I also like the author’s approach that successful personalities have some interest in and regard for other people. They have a respect for other’s problems and needs. They respect the dignity of the human personality and deal with other people as if they were human beings, rather than as pawns in their own game. I personally believe that true success should be oriented towards serving others, the community we live in or the humanity at large.

Humility is a virtue that every successful person should have otherwise the so called success becomes vanity. No matter how successful we are, we should strive to look at other people as human beings who deserve respect and support. As the author rightly says, if you frequently find yourself judging and condemning others for their opinions, attitudes and errors, it’s probably a sign that you don’t think much of your own worthiness either. For example, the famous and successful people like Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Mandela and others take their fame not from selfishness but from their generous sacrifice to their communities and to humankind at large. Thus, the author’s observation and recommendation to listen with regard when others talk. Give your time and energy to others; let others have their way; do things for reasons other than furthering your own needs. Develop an attitude of love, because love erases the imaginary boundaries between self, others and the world is the deepest philosophy I want to live by.

The following statement of the author is also commendable, “The cornerstone of happiness is accepting yourself as a worthy human being. The most miserable and tortured people in the world are those who are continually straining and striving to convince themselves and others that they are something other than what they basically are. And there is no relief or satisfaction like that that comes when one finally gives up the shams and pretenses and is willing to be himself.

I also agree with the author’s recommendation to appreciate our body. We are all different in size and shape and this variety is what makes the beauty of our universe. It is a shame to be ashamed by one’s body. As he rightly says, To be ashamed of our bodies or to refuse to accept them takes away from our wholeness as human beings, just as much as if we were ashamed of our spirits or our minds.

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.

I wouldn’t call it new ideas but the way the author uses the concept of cybernetics and links it with the psychological notion of sub-conscious mind is quite original.

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?

It did not challenged any of my ways of thinking but it introduced a new way of looking at my beliefs and the world around me by introducing the notion of cybernetics and the role of the sub-conscious storage of ideas and beliefs in our life.

5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

Not really, only that the whole idea of cybernetics may not be understood by the common reader or lay person. I find it too scientific and some of exercises prescribed by the author may look unpractical to many readers.

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

The most helpful idea is the advice that the author gives to the reader to scrutinize his/her beliefs to make sure that they do not hold him/her back in the achievement of his/her objectives and that the goals he/she sets are practical in accordance with available resources and prevailing circumstances.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

The book is about how to look critically inside ourselves to dig up that belief that forbids us from achieving our desired goal. The author gives us a way of framing our goals and the process to plan their achievement.

Please Rate this book on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 7
D. Would you recommend it to others? 7
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8

Comments – The book is good but I have a feeling that it is not user friendly. Some people may not understand the whole message. It requires a certain level of understanding and appreciating the science of psychology and cybernetics.

Keys to Success
Assessment by Rwamatwara Egide (Congo)

1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples.

The idea that definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement is very important. Indeed to achieve any goal, it has to be clearly defined and visualized. Before embarking on a road toward success, one must know the destination and the purpose of the journey. The idea of the author that definiteness of purpose develops self-reliance, personal initiative, imagination, enthusiasm, self discipline and concentrated effort was quite inspiring. In fact, once these characteristics are developed, nothing can stop the progress toward achievement.

The other important idea developed in this book is the necessity of developing an attractive personality in order to achieve lasting success. Without a continuous positive mental attitude the progress made toward the achievement is not maintained and it becomes difficult to achieve sustainable success. I also liked the characteristics associated with attractive personality which lead to success. One of them is flexibility. The author is right when he says that to achieve sustainable success one needs to be able to adapt quickly to changing circumstances and emergencies without panic or loss of temper. Flexibility must also be accompanied with commitment to one’s major purpose. When you are convinced of your goal, what the author calls sincerity of the purpose, it becomes easy to overcome obstacles on the way toward success. I liked the example given on sincerity of purpose when a new employee, Charles M. Schwab dissuaded his boss, Carnegie, of taking a decision which would have led the company to a great loss. Because of sincerity and confidence in the new employee, the boss took the advice and saved the company. This happens in our every day life. When we are convinced of our ideas, it becomes easy to convince others especially in a decision making process.

Moreover, I liked the approach of the author towards the importance of courtesy in our lives. He describes courtesy as the habit of respecting other people’s feeling under all circumstances; the habit of going out of one’s way to help the less fortunate, and the habit of controlling selfishness in all forms. He rightly observes that courtesy is scarce today and that’s why we experience all sorts of conflicts and unrest in our lives. Likewise, the value of tolerance is scarce and this causes all sorts of problem in the world today. The author describes tolerance as the disposition to be patient and fair toward those whose opinions, practices, and beliefs differ from ours. Another important idea is the spirit of justice which is necessary for success. He says that unless you deal justly with others, you cannot hope either to cultivate an attractive personality or to succeed in your definite major purpose. Indeed, while struggling toward the achievement of one’s goal, there are others’ interests that need to be respected and protected. As the author puts it, a keen sense of justice discourages avarice and selfishness and gives you a much better understanding of your rights, privileges, and responsibilities.

Another idea that was important to me in the book is the one according to which if you render more and better service than you are paid for, sooner or later you will receive compound interest from your investment. The idea of personal initiative as put forward by the author is also commendable. He quotes Andrew Carnegie who says that there are two types of people who never amount to anything. There are those who never do anything except what they are told to do. And there are those who cannot even do what they are told to do. The people who get ahead do the things that should be done without being told. And they don’t stop there. They go the extra mile and do much more than is expected of them.” This is very true because without those people who are creative, inventions would hardly come by. Without people with a spirit of creativity and initiative, we would run short of leaders and decision makers. Those who go the extra mile make a difference. They are not affected by shortfalls and failures, because it is through mistakes and failures that we reach perfection. The author gave a good example of Edison who made thousands of tries and fails before making a perfect bulb light.

The author focuses on the importance of developing positive mental attitude (PMA) and its benefits. He rightly says that with PMA no one can hurt your feelings, make you angry, or frighten you without your full cooperation and consent. This is important because many a time we allow others influence our actions and determine our destiny. I agree with the author that PMA enables us to take our destiny in our hands.

The author also rightly points out that what we consider as downfalls may be windows of opportunity. He encourages us to relate to every circumstance in our life as something that has happened for the best, for it may be that your saddest experience will bring you your greatest assets if you give time a chance to mellow your distress.

I also liked the author’s reminder that personal power does not come from the possession of material things alone. The example of Mahatma Ghandi to illustrate this idea is quite convincing. He also makes a very commendable advice to reinforce the habit of tolerance, and keep an open mind on all subjects and toward all people no matter what their race or creed. He says, ‘learn to like people just as they are, instead of demanding that they be just as you want them to be’. I personally believe in this philosophy although it is hard to keep all the time. As human beings we all have this natural habit of wanting that people behave the way we want in accordance with our own interests. This is a human natural selfishness which is difficult to control. The author also says that it is important to welcome friendly criticism instead of reacting to it negatively. ‘Do not fear criticism; encourage it’, he says. Although this is a very positive attitude and helpful for one’s success, it is however difficult to observe all the time. We all tend to feel embarrassed when we are criticized and happy when we are appraised. I liked his recommendation to embrace any opportunity to learn how others see you, and use it to take inventory of yourself and look for things which need improvement.

Furthermore, his idea of grasping the differences between wishing, hoping, desiring, and having a burning desire to achieve our goals is commendable. Indeed, it is one thing to have a dream and another to work towards its realization. He is right when he says that only a burning desire gives you a driving motivation, and it can be fueled only by a positive mental attitude. I also agree with the author’s advice about self-discipline. He says that self-discipline harnesses and controls all emotions, both positive and negative, allowing you to guard against the dissipation of energy through either expressing your negative emotions or neglecting to use your positive ones. Indeed, without discipline no matter how much effort we put in, it becomes difficult to reach success. Without discipline the achieved success easily slips away. Many people have lost high positions because of lack of discipline, especially uncontrolled drinking habit and fornication. Many people have lost their lives or have killed others because of lack of discipline in drinking and driving or getting HIV/AIDS and infecting others, including the loved ones.

Most of the ideas developed in the book are in line with my conviction, beliefs and values. For example the whole idea of taking our destiny in our hands is my motto. For example the author’s idea that success is something you create for yourself, is my own belief. It is true that we all need support from various sources to succeed but the major part is played by ourselves.

The author’s advice to be humble and generous in our everyday life is also my personal philosophy.

Another idea that meets my belief is the author’s approach to self-discipline, especially the ways and means as well as tools that the author proposes for achievement of success. For instance when he says that controlled attention, self-discipline, accurate thinking, personal initiative, learning from defeat, and going the extra mile all are mental tools you can use to organize and carry out your plan.

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.

All these ideas developed in the book are not completely new to me but the approach of the author in explaining how best to plan and organize one’s life to pursue a clearly defined goal or the steps to follow for the attainment of success was original.

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?

The book gave me some more hints on how to frame my beliefs and enhance my values. It has strengthened my philosophy on living positively. It also gave me some new guidance on how to plan my path towards achieving my pursued goals.

5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

I do not entirely disagree with the idea but I find it too exaggerated. The author’s idea that the objects on which you deliberately concentrate your attention become the dominating influences in your environment. If your thoughts are fixed on poverty or the physical signs of poverty, these influences are transferred to your subconscious by autosuggestion. If you continue to concentrate on poverty, you will condition your mind to accept poverty as an unavoidable circumstance, and you will eventually become poverty-conscious. I agree that by concentrating on negative ideas one ends up acting and behaving negatively. However, saying that millions of people who live in abject poverty around the world are to blame for it is unacceptable. We all know that many factors cause poverty. Some are natural such as environmental degradation. Others are man made, namely, bad policies, corruption, mismanagement, lack of access to resources, etc. Indeed many poor people want to get out of it and work hard towards that goal but the socio-cultural, economic political and/or physical environment within which they live do not allow them to move upward.

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

The principles proposed by the author for personal achievement are very helpful. Most advices given by the author are quite helpful. I noted the advice of humility, generosity, care, discipline, controlled emotions, etc. However, some are hard to live by. For example, when the author says that all employees have to see themselves as executives and managers see themselves as subordinates; the idea is great but it requires a lot of humility for managers to live by this advice.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

The book talks about the habits and behaviors which lead to success and those which can affect negatively any attempts to success and which we must get rid of if we want to succeed. Te main idea is that success lies in our hands.

Please Rate this book on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

Giant Steps
Assessment by Rwamatwara Egide (Congo)

1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples.

The idea that the floodgates can be opened by one decision, bringing us joy or sorrow, prosperity or poverty, companionship or solitude, long life or early death was very important. Indeed history is full of examples of people who took decisions that affected humanity for the good or the bad. In addition of Mahatma Gandhi and Rosa Parks that the author rightly quotes as people who made decisions that changed the destiny of a people and the entire world for the better, we have Hitler and Georges Bush with their disastrous decisions that cost and continue to cost millions of lives. Thus when the author urges us to make decisions now, I think he should add that these decisions must first be well thought of and their future effects well weighed so as to ascertain that they are worth taking.

I also liked the advice of the author when he says that we must commit to learning from our mistakes instead of agonizing over them, or we are destined to repeat our errors in the future. Unfortunately, the world seams not to learn from the mistakes of the past. The wrong decisions that have cost millions of lives are being repeated every day. The case of Iraq is a clear example.

Moreover, the idea of the author regarding creativity and initiative or risk taking was inspiring. I agree with him that it is true that success belongs to those who dare because the talents which are not put to test never reveal themselves. Thus the adage quoted by the author is commendable: success is the result of good judgment, good judgment is the result of experience, and experience is often the result of bad judgment. However, sometimes we don’t live long enough to learn from our mistakes when we make deadly and disastrous decisions. Hitler could not survive his hecatomb in order to learn from his unimaginable mistake. Thus, although daring and making simple decisions, say at individual, family level is commendable, decisions that affect the entire community or humanity at large require careful thought and consultations before they are made.

I also admired the author’s definition of success which is to live your life in a way that causes you to consistently feel an immense amount of pleasure and very little pain – and because of your style, to have the people around you consistently feel a lot more pleasure and very little pain. He says that to do this, we must grow and contribute. This is so true because many of us work hard towards success but do not clearly define what success is or should be. Some of us think that money constitutes the ultimate success, but do not define how much money constitutes success. Others consider success at a highest level of their career or the highest position in the hierarchy of their organization/company. Others instead, consider academic achievement as their success land mark. Others also mix all these achievements, namely money, position, academic to mark their success. However, to many it is difficult to draw the limit to their search of success. When we reach one stage we want the one higher. Nevertheless, some people like mother Theresa, Luther King and others like them found pleasure and success in helping the weak and the oppressed, bringing justice and the like. Thus as the author says, it is important to define what gives one pleasure, satisfaction and success. Once this is done, it becomes easier to evaluate whether we have succeeded or failed in life or where we are on the roadmap towards achieving our success. Thus, as the author rightly concludes, one of the best ways to enrich your life is to expand your emotional range, so that your judgment of success or failure is not based on one thing but a wide range of emotional experiences.

The author’s question and answer about achievement is commendable. He asks the following question, ‘what is the force that determines what we try or fail to try to accomplish in our lives?’ the answer he gives is ‘it is our beliefs-about what we are capable of, about what’s possible or impossible, about who we are. Indeed, this is what makes a difference in people’s lives with regard success. The first step to achieve success is to believe in it and one’s capability to achieve it, and then act towards its achievement. Those who think they cannot get there without even giving it a try will never get there. Thus I share the author’s idea that success belongs to those who believe in themselves and dare take the first step. The following statement of the author was touching: beliefs separate a Mozart from a Manson, causing some individuals to become heroes while others resign themselves to wondering what could have been. However, as the author acknowledges, beliefs can play both positive and negative roles. In the author’s words, ‘beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy’, especially when we base them on wrong premises or misinterpretation of the past or of the world around us. After all Hitler had a belief and was convinced it was the best in the same way as Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi did.

As the author says, a belief is nothing more than a feeling of certainty about what some thing means. For example, if you believe you are intelligent, it’s more than just an idea, you feel certain you are intelligent. This applies also when you think that what you are doing is right even when it will have negative or disastrous consequences on others. According to the author, this happens because the passion they inspire in us, beliefs and convictions propel us to action.

I also liked the author’s approach that success is all about a commitment to gradual, consistent improvement. As he rightly puts it, the only true security in life comes from knowing that every single day you are improving yourself in some way. One author once said that if you keep on singing your prowess of yesterday, it means today you did not achieve any. Thus our level of success should be maintained otherwise we fall back to the level before it or we are overtaken by events. Another instructor told us that achievement is like riding a bicycle climbing a mountain, we have to keep on pedaling otherwise the bicycle goes back or we fall.

I share the author’s idea that words have the power to start wars or create peace, destroy relationships or strengthen them. It is my belief that most of the conflicts stem from misunderstanding when we don’t use appropriate words or language. We have to know the person or the audience we are talking to so that we select appropriate words in order to avoid unnecessary conflicts due to misunderstanding or misinterpretation. I personally know several relationships which were destroyed by a simple statement by one partner and up to now the partners do not realize what caused their breaking up. Thus I agree with Mark Twain’s statement that ‘a powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words….the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrical prompt.’

I also admired the author’s approach to emotions. I support his observation that we are the source of all our emotions and that any moment we can create or change them. Indeed most of us keep on searching for satisfaction when we can simply decide to feel good by the mere fact that we are alive, educated (literate), can see, walk, speak, feel, love, have a family, …, that others so much struggle to have or cannot have even with money. This is my conviction that we are masters of our emotions. We can decide to be content with a little or decide to look for more for our satisfaction.

I also find the author’s explanation of action signal applicable to me and to my personal experience in my career and academic performance. As he says, I feel guilty and frustrated when I have violated one of my highest standards, principles or values. I feel that I should immediately do something to correct the situation and keep myself from ever violating it again. For example, I cherish values of humility, respect, royalty, and honesty. When something happens that I feel that I have missed or violated one of these values I feel guilty and try to find ways of fixing that shortfall on my part and mechanisms for it to never happen again.

Moreover, like the author, I believe that it is important to cultivate the emotions of appreciation and gratitude. I agree with the author that these are among the most spiritual motions we can have, and they enhance our lives more than almost anything. Indeed simple words like thank you or I appreciate look small but mean a lot to our friends or people around us.

I also shared his command to cultivate curiosity. As he rightly says, if you want to grow in your lifetime, learn to be inquisitive as a child. I have come to the conclusion that learning is all about searching for the hidden truth and being inquisitive for the mysteries of our lives. All discoveries that we enjoy today depend on people’s curiosity and their eagerness to find explanations or solutions to our everyday problems.

His sense of altruism and humanism was touching and I concur with his reasoning when he says, there is no richer emotion than the sense of contribution: feeling that who you are as a person, how you’ve lived your life, what you’ve said and done, has touched others in a deep and meaningful manner is the ultimate gift in life. I believe that if people developed this approach there would be fewer suffering in the world today. He is quite right when he says that the secret to living is giving.

The author’s statement that the power of reading a great book is that you start thinking like the author reflects my personal experience. In fact, when I read a book with interesting story or which proposes solutions that I have been looking for I feel satisfied and want to practice the teachings of the book. As the author says, the books’ references become my own, and I carry these with me long after I’ve turned the last page.

I also agree with the author when he says that many people make a mistake of thinking that all the problems in their life would disappear if they just had enough money. I came to notice that money is not everything in life. I saw people with a lot of money but lead a miserable life and don’t show any sign of joy and satisfaction; yet some others with little of no money at all show joy and happiness in their homes. Of course everyone needs a minimum amount of money to survive but it is true that pleasure or happiness does not depend on the amount of money that we possess.

I also believe like the author that all achievements at individual, family, national and global levels are the accumulation of a host of small decisions we make as individuals, a family, a community, a society and a species. Thus, it is my belief that if everyone could commit him/herself to eliminate global pollution and injustice or to eradicate poverty, everyone according to our means and capacity, the world would experience a tremendous transformation. As the author says, the capacity to do the right thing, to dare to take a stand and make a difference, is within every one of us. It is also my belief that the history of the world, positive or negative, is simply a chronicle of the deeds of a small number of ordinary people who had extraordinary levels of commitment. Indeed all these people we call heroes or great were ordinary people. The author defines a hero as a person who courageously contributes under even the most trying circumstances; a hero is an individual who acts unselfishly and who demands more from himself or herself than others would expect; a hero is someone who defies adversity by doing what he or she believes is right in spite of fear. However, as the author rightly says, a hero is not someone who is perfect; otherwise we would have no heroes if this were our standard. We all make mistakes, but that doesn’t invalidate the contributions we make in the course of our lives. I conquer with the author’s conclusion that perfection is not heroism that humanity is.

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.

All ideas in the book were not new to me but the way the author explain them and advise us to put them in practice was original. For example when he asks to write down a number of ideas, feelings, emotions refer to them every time one of them happens to us. Other examples consisted of how to rehearse several times in order to internalize an idea.

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?

Not really. The book helped me to revisited my beliefs and values and strengthened my way of thinking especially regarding issues such as success goal setting and achievement, creativity, curiosity and initiative. Most of all, it strengthened my beliefs on humanism.

5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

Not really, only that some of the practice proposed by the author are not easy to follow. They tend to be too theoretical.

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

Most if not all the ideas in the book are helpful. It depends on each individual’s interests. I personally liked his approach on success and the concept of “hero” or “heroism”.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

The books talks about human behaviors, feelings and emotions and their effects both positive and negative at individual, family, community and global level. The author guides us on how to organize these behavioral assets to make right decisions for the betterment of our own lives and of those around us.

Please Rate this book on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 6
B. How helpful were the contents? 7
C. How easy was it to understand? 7
D. Would you recommend it to others? 8
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 7

What to say When you talk to your self
Assessment by Rwamatwara Egide (Congo)

1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples.

This book reminded me with concrete illustrations about the impact and effects of what is said to us when we are young on our success or failure as we grow up. The author puts it this way, “what adults tell us as children has an incredibly important effect on us. It forms what we believe about most of what is going on around us and almost every thing that we come to believe about ourselves”. As he argues quite rightly, our brain is comparable to a computer equipped with programs that capture and internalize what goes around us and are activated according to circumstances that we find ourselves in. Depending on what we have in our control center and how we perceive the circumstance before us we give commands that make us feel good, feel satisfied, work hard, respond aggressively, etc. I found this illustration quite inspiring. Thus, I agree with the author when he concludes that whatever you put into your mind is what you will get back out. This applies to what we tell young children, they end up internalizing it and behave accordingly. As the author says, once ideas, beliefs and convictions are internalized they become our second nature unless the programming we receive is erased or replaced by with different programming, it will stay with us permanently and affect and direct everything we do for the rest of our lives.

I also liked the idea put across by the author that ‘repetition is a convincing argument’. We start by listening to what we are told, we then believe that it is true and behave accordingly. With time by repeatedly hearing the same words, watching the same actions, attitudes and behaviors we end up internalizing them and consider them as true. This is so true when we consider the times we have been told what could not do or what we could not accomplish and end up believing that we are incapable or that such or such a thing is impossible. Of course there are people who like ventures and daring who will defy what others tell them. Many a discovery came about because some people had the guts of going against what is considered in the family or in the society as impossible or should not be even tried.

At individual level, this internalized belief plays a significant role in our life. The picture we have of ourselves and the world around us determines our success or failure. As the author puts it, in time we become what we most believed about ourselves. And in so doing, we create a wall, which for most of us will stand invisibly but powerfully between us and our unlimited futures for as long as our old programming remains in force. Hence I agree with the author’s simple conclusion that ‘you will become what you think about most; your success or failure in anything, large or small, will depend on your programming – what you accept from others, and what you say when you talk to yourself”.

Most of the ideas contained in this book reflect my personal beliefs. However, some have inspired me most. For example, the author’s approach to self-management sequence and his five steps that control our success or failure. On behavior he considers that the step that most directly controls our success or failure is our behavior – what we do or do not do, I would add how we behave, how we react to the circumstances around us on a daily basis. He uses a good example of our behavior towards our job. He says that if you like your job, do the right thing the right time, and keep at it, there is a good chance that your job will do well for you. This is my own belief and in my career I have always told myself that I have to offer the best of myself to do my job as best as I can and I can assure you it has paid. I always see colleagues who spend the whole day complaining or doing little on their job yet expect their salaries to be increased and to be promoted to higher grades. These are the types of behaviors which lead straight into failures. On feelings, the author says that every action we take is first filtered through our feelings. How we feel about something will always determine or affect what we do and how well we do it. The example of job is again applicable here. If you don’t like your job you will always find excuses to not do it properly and if you like your job even if it does not pay that well you enjoy the satisfaction of doing what you like and by doing it well it ends up paying well. As the author rightly puts it, our feelings will directly influence our actions. On attitudes, the author says that whatever attitude we have about any thing will affect how we feel about it, which in turn determines how we will act about it and that in turn determines whether or not we will do well. So our attitudes play a very important part in helping us become successful. I agree with the author on this as it reflects what I experience with my friends. Some of them always see things in a negative way and when you look at their performance at work, at school or even in the family this is reflected in their accomplishments. I also liked the author’s summary of the five sequences that Programming creates beliefs, beliefs create attitudes, attitudes create feelings, feelings determine actions and actions create results.

The author’s idea of positive thinking also goes in line with my belief. As he rightly explains positive thinking require erasing and replacing all old negative thinking habits. I agree with him when he says that positive thinking can work if the negative thoughts we are told to avoid are immediately replaced with opposite. Indeed many people take decisions to change their lives to the better by setting up great and enviable objectives. But with time they fall back to their old negative habits because they did not erase them in their minds. This happen quite often among the people around us, for example when someone decides to quit smoking because the group urge him to do so but later on you see him smoking. It simply means that the decision to quit was not from his internal self and the smoking habit was not replaced completely hence it strikes back on any smallest occasion that presents itself.

I also liked and agree with the author’s analysis on managing others. He says if you truly want to reach them, work first with their self-talk. I personally have experience in this field. In my free time I like working with refugees trying to help them orient their lives towards a brighter and promising future. However, although they are willing and eager to learn how to change their lives, they are always blocked or pulled back by the ideas that they have internalized associated with their conditions, especially how they are viewed and view themselves within the society.

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.

I can’t call it a new idea but the way it was presented was so inspiring and I believe it will help me a great deal. It is about putting self-talk into practice and the secret of effective management. The author says, “Effective management always begins with successful self-management. You can be a graduate student of management and never attain the essential skills of managing others if you do not first master the management of yourself. True leaders have their own selves in control; they are in command of their actions, their feelings, their attitudes, and their perspectives. The second essential ingredient of being a good manager is knowing how to develop the qualities and skills of others”. I liked this because it explains some of the questions I asked myself about how some leaders who are not that much educated lead better than many others who hold high degrees.

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?

Not really, it rather strengthened my way of looking at some of my beliefs and the world around me by helping me reflect on my behavior, attitude, and feelings and how these impact on my success.

5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

No although some may be put in a different way than my own way of thinking.

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

The whole idea of controlling what goes in our minds and to regulate our behaviors, attitudes and feelings. Also the idea of self-managing and managing others was quite inspiring and helpful.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

This book talks about how what we are told from our early age become part of our lives and affect positively or negatively our future. What we are told to believe and what we think of ourselves and the world around us determine our success or failure in life.

Please Rate this book on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

Comments
This book is very helpful especially to young people in search of inspiration to pave their way through the multiple challenges of the world we live in today.

Real Magic
Assessment by Rwamatwara Egide (Congo)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

As the title tells, the book is about creating miracles in one’s life. It is basically about changing one’s way of thinking and having a clear purpose in one’s life. It is about going beyond the usual five senses to think and see beyond the ordinary and common sense. The book shows how miracles are created every day. For example, when an idea, a belief or a way of living which had been considered as unquestionable truth over centuries are changed over night and replaced by the opposite. This is the case of communist ideology, apartheid, etc. The book also talks about the power of thought. Indeed, thoughts have created most of what we see today and thoughts can change everything, to the better but also to the worse. The book focuses on the spiritual dimension of the human nature and the miracles that one can create by simply turning from a non spiritual to a spiritual behavior.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas and followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

Several ideas in this book were important to me but the following can be listed as the seven most important:

1. I liked the analysis of the three paths toward enlightenment, namely, enlightenment through suffering, enlightenment through outcome and enlightenment through purpose. On the first path, as the author rightly puts it, we tend to feel singled out and unfairly treated when we go through difficult moments or real suffering. When we manage to successfully overcome these difficulties we feel good and realize that they were necessary for us to learn a lesson or grow mature. This is why we say that wisdom and experience come with time and trying moments. This reflects my life and experience. I went through trying moments due to political turmoil that occurred in my country in the 1990s. I lost close relatives and friends, disrupted my university studies for a couple of years and many more sour experiences. At a point I always asked myself why this happens at this particular moment of crucial time of my life. Why my country? Why me? But after I managed to pull through and reorganize my life I could appreciate the hard lessons that I owe to these difficult moments of my life. I also agree with the author when he says that many people remain at this stage and spend their entire life mourning and blaming everyone for their misery without noticing the window of opportunity that each difficult moment brings. Indeed, I was not the only one affected by the events in my country, practically everyone was negatively affected by the war but many could not get up and carry on. As the author rightly says, those who move to the next path of enlightenment through outcome develop the spirit of saying that everything that happens to us happens for a purpose. Instead of mourning they try to find the positive message that the trying moment is carrying to them and how to make use of the experience gained and lessons learned. In my own experience, the trying moments of my life have equipped me with skills and experience which helped to plan and orient my life in a positive direction. On the third path of enlightenment through purpose, as the author says, one needs to see himself/herself as having a mission to accomplish and to work hard towards accomplishing it. I entirely agree with the author. With a clear objective to attain and continuous effort to achieve it we successfully go through hard times and trying moments.

2. The second idea which I liked from the book is about the true meaning of success and happiness between spiritual versus non spiritual beings. I enjoyed the statement of the author which summarizes it all , “one simply must know that there is much more to life than achievement, performance and acquisitions and that the measure of a life is not in what is accumulated, but rather in what is given to others”. I have never understood how some people enjoy keeping in banks and shareholdings billions of dollars when there is poverty, hunger and misery around the world. I have also seen how happy are those who give and care for others and how they get blessed. The conclusion of the author that, “the spiritual being knows that he showed up here with nothing material and leaves the same way” is touching and commendable. However, the practical lesson that the author conveys in the following statement was inspiring to me: “When you fight evil by employing the methods of hatred and violence, you are part of the hatred and violence of evil itself, despite the rightness of your position in your own mind. If all the people in the world who are against terrorism and war were to shift their perspective to supporting and working for peace, terrorism and war would be eliminated”.

3. The third idea that I found interesting in the book is when the author tells us not to let a tired person move into our bodies under any circumstances. He explains this with practical explanations by saying that if you want to be energetic and you act fatigued, you are sabotaging your own vision. Even if you look into the mirror and see wrinkles and other evidence of fatigue, he says, you must begin to act as if your vision of being energetic were already here. Indeed most of us tend to claim tiredness simply to avoid taking more responsibilities or doing more work. With extra effort and time there is always room for extra work which makes a difference. In my neighborhood, I see people whose sole activity after work is drinking and relaxing, yet there is a lot to do to improve the neighborhood.

4. The other powerful idea that I found quite enlightening is the power of thought. The author portrays well, from a historical background, how thoughts have shown their power. Indeed, it took one person’s thought to destroy an entire race but also it took one person’s thought to liberate an entire Nation besieged by apartheid! This I found quite inspiring and encouraging because it means that if each and every one of us could develop positive thinking there would be less, if at all, sufferings and deprivation in the world.

5. Another reassuring idea is where the author says that for every act of unkindness, there are a million kind acts, that there is a network of good guys out there who are truly making a difference…. However, most of the time one person or a few people evil minded are more powerful than a million kind people. This is why Iraq was bombarded despite the opposition by a multitude of people around the world. The genocide in Rwanda, Cambodia, ex Yugoslavia and elsewhere was consumed before the watching world! Was it because of unwillingness to assist the victims or incapacity to do so? That’s why the advice of Einstein “the significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them” is true and commendable. It is not enough to think positively, there is need to think in unity and solidarity to combat evil thinking which is equally powerful.

6. The other idea that I also found quite spiritual is the author’s advice to move past anger and bitterness. As he so well explains continuing to be angry and hateful does not do us any good. As he says, whatever act angers us, the event has happened; it cannot unhappen in our physical world, the only way to get rid of its effects is to replace anger and hatred by love. I personally believe that when a person angers you and you show that you are hurt you make the person win because this was the intention but if you instead return love and show no sign of being hurt then the evil minded has missed the objective and has lost.

7. Finally, the idea that I treasure most is what the author calls “the secret to changing your life is in your intentions”. As he rightly explains, wishing, hoping and goal setting cannot accomplish change without intentions. You need to shift from the inert energy of wanting to the active energy of doing and intentions. This happens to me quite often with my various tasks and responsibilities. My friends usually tell me that I give myself a lot of tasks that I will not handle and sometimes I nearly convince myself that I am not being realistic. Yet when I decide to concentrate and accomplish all my tasks I realize that it was actually very easy to the point I could even add some more activities on top. Thus, I agree with the author that what makes a difference is going beyond wishing and setting goals. It is striving to reach those goals.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas helped me look into my own life to see what I could change or reorganize to make my life more meaningful and complete. They also helped me answer some of the questions I always ask myself such as why is there so much misery in the world and how can I as a simple individual contribute to the healing process. For example the idea of the power of thoughts inspired me to first develop positive thinking and to be generous. Furthermore, these ideas convinced me that I am not alone on the road to the call for finding peace and prosperity in the world as there are millions of people out there thinking and acting just the same as I do.

Finally these ideas helped me to realize and reaffirm my conviction that it is not enough to think positively but more importantly to act towards putting our thoughts into practice and achieving our goals.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment them.

“Nothing is more likely to help a person overcome or endure troubles than the consciousness of having a task in life” by Victor Frankl. The author of these words had suffered the Nazi concentration camps. I think there is no greater suffering than the agony of the concentration camp and it requires such courage to get out of it and lead a normal life. I agree with the author of this quote that when you are convinced of having a purpose, a mission in life you fight hard to get out of troubles and you succeed. This goes in line with another quote from Michel de Montaigne which goes thus, “The great and glorious masterpiece of man is how to live with purpose”.

“The ancestor to every action is a thought”, Ralph Waldo Emerson.
This was a powerful message to me because it refers to many things at the same time. Indeed, our actions translate what we think, good or evil. Thus by thinking positively we tend to act positively.

“The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them”, Albert Einstein. This means that in as much as the thought can solve problems it has to be greater and more powerful than the thought that created the problem. As the author clearly demonstrated, big thoughts such as Communism, apartheid, racial discrimination required powerful counter thinking to reverse them.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?

Not really, but I found the idea of meditation as put forward by the author exaggerated with regard what it can perform as miracles. For example, when he says that you can think of a flower dispatching itself from the tree and falling in your hand and it happens; defeats the natural and physical laws and is hard to conceive, let alone to believe.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, especially the meditation exercises. I did not even try the meditation exercise because unfortunately although I have my ways of meditating, I could not agree with some of the proposed ways of meditating.

7. Was there any thing you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment..

I covered all that touched me in the seven ideas that I liked.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 8
D. Would you recommend it to others? 8
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8

Leadership for Dummies
Assessment by Rwamatwara Egide

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea in the book is the notion of leadership and the personality of a leader. The author describes the notion of ‘leadership’ in all forms that it may take. He sees leadership as an art that any body can learn and practice. According to the author, leadership is ubiquitous; it is found in every day life. The author describes the characteristics of a leader which can be used as a bench mark for anybody to judge and gage his/her leadership potentialities.

The book contains many ideas which touched me personally. For the sake of the question limiting me to seven most important ones, the following would be my choice:

1. The first important idea that comes out of the book is the author’s approach to successful leadership. He says that a successful leader is required to do just three things, namely, to elicit the cooperation of others, to listen, and to put others before him/herself. I concur with the author that if all leaders and aspiring leaders could focus on these three key leadership skills they would succeed in leading their followers to the set objective. Indeed, many leaders tend to insist on the fact that things must be done their way. Their ideas, their needs and interest usually come first. The only moment they tend to remember that the followers’ voice counts is when they need the votes. As the author rightly puts it, such a behaviour undermines the fundamental quality of leadership which is responsibility and accountability. I totally agree with the author when he says that “you can’t be a leader if you are afraid of responsibility and accountability”. Furthermore, the author quite rightly affirms that these ideas of listening to others, eliciting cooperation and putting the needs of others above one’s personal needs are not only a requirement for leadership but also and mainly essential to human progress. The author concludes that leadership is an integral component of human interaction because its three fundamental components are essential to human development. The author also highlights that the most important characteristic of a successful leader is humility. He says, “in order to elicit cooperation, listen well, and place the needs of others above your own, you have to have some emotional maturity, wisdom, and humility. This is undoubtedly what most of our leaders lack which lead them to making mistakes, mistreating their followers and pushing the latter to insurrection. The author also reminds us that leadership is not eternal, it has a beginning and an end. He puts it this way, “just because you take the lead, don’t think that you’ll always be in the lead, because all leadership is temporary”. This approach on leadership was helpful to me as I am engaged ins some community organizing activities and needed some principles and guidance on my role and responsibility in these activities at community level.

2. The second important idea that I found inspiring and enlightening from the book is the approach to attitude of confidence which the author considers indispensable to a successful leadership. The author quotes William Glavin, former chief executive of Xerox, who puts it this way, “You’ve got to have enough confidence in yourself that you’re not worried about being fired for saying or doing the wrong thing. You cannot let anything scare you. If you really have confidence that you can always get another job, then you will do the right things”. Indeed many a time we witness injustices but close our eyes in fear of being punished for opening our mouths. Other times we are afraid to take the lead or to make a decision in fear of making mistakes or failing and becoming the joke. I liked this idea because it translate clearly what many people, especially in a work environment, go through on a daily basis. Many people suffer injustices or are abused by bosses and colleagues keep quiet in fear of losing their jobs or their favors. In other instances victims themselves accept passively their fate in fear of being labeled as trouble makers and be listed on the black list. It requires a courageous colleague with confidence to lead the group or the community to expose the mistreatment and injustices to which colleagues or fellow citizens are exposed. These courageous colleagues end up in the leadership positions be it as workers’ representatives or even new CEOs of the company whereas those who prefer to remain in their safe quiet corner remain stagnant throughout their carrier. In my carrier I had dared on several occasions to take initiatives which some times angered my superiors but later on the latter came to recognize that it was a good initiative. As one of my tutors at college once said, when you haven’t made a mistake there two possible explanations, namely, that you are extremely good and cautious, but mainly that you did not do any thing. He used to say that he prefers students who make mistakes because they will have tried rather than those who do not make mistakes simply because they have done nothing.

3. The third important idea that the author puts across on leadership is the power of effective communication. He says that, “first and foremost, a leader has to keep the vision in the minds of his or her followers in every conversation, whether in a spoken or unspoken manner. When a leader is speaking as a leader, and not as a friend or confidante, he or she needs to remind people in a simple and straightforward manner and without a lot of additional explanation why they are being asked to turn the vision into reality”. This is so true to the point that communication skills is one of the most decisive competencies for managerial positions in most organisations and corporation. Indeed a good communicator elicit easily cooperation as followers get clearly the message and can judge whether or not they can trust and follow the leader. The latest test of communication can be applied to the victory of Barrack Obama, first against Hillary Rodham Clinton and then against Mcain both competitors far more experienced than Obama. No doubt that Obama’s success is mainly due to his outstanding communication skills. As the author explains, “the responsibility of leadership is to communicate the vision so clearly that no room is left for doubt among those who must execute it”. However, the author adds that “a good speaker almost invariably is someone who can listen to or “read” the mood or tenor of an audience, even when the audience is not communicating verbally”. Indeed a good leader has to read the non verbal communication signals in order to detect any discontent or dissatisfaction among the followers so as to be able to find solutions to their preoccupations without delay. The author also says that the speaker puts the needs of others above his or her own by speaking about the concerns and needs of the person or group to whom he or she is talking to rather than about his or her own.

4. I also found important the author’s approach to expectations in relation to leadership. He says that expectations are key to leadership. According to the author, the leader has to manage several sets of expectations not only his or her own expectations but also those of the people or the group he or she leads. The job of a leader, says the author, is to bring his or her expectations, the expectations of his/her superiors, and the team’s expectations in line. He/she has to create trust among all these parties and minimise conflicts so that everyone remains focused on achieving the overall goals. The author warns that the greatest enemy of leadership is unrealistic expectations. He says that the goals have to be realistic and doable, and they have to be communicated upward to senior management and downward to the team members. Indeed the usual mistake that leaders make is to consider the people below them as subordinates who must carry out the orders of the leader without questioning. The good lesson from this book is that such a leader is doomed to fail. Effective leader consults all team members above and below him/her and explain to them the mission and objectives pursued by the team. As the author puts it, “after you’ve got the team going, you have to let them know that your role as leader is not just to give them marching orders. You have to tell them that they must come to you immediately if things are not going according to plan, so that you and they together can figure out what needs to be done to get back on track”. The author points out that a leader is evaluated and confirmed on the position and his/her term renewed or he is voted out of office. To use the author’s words, “after all is said and done, you are going to be evaluated, promoted or fired based on the outcome of your decisions [and performance]”. I found the approach very useful but difficult to apply to my community work. In fact, community members have several and various expectations far difficult to satisfy. Moreover, their needs are usually so acute that they need immediate response and when a leader, in my case, doesn’t have enough means or power to satisfy them in the near future this may lead to the community members questioning the capacity of the leader. Obama himself, after his election as president of the United States of America, recognized that he might not fulfill all his promises to the American electorate and that he counts on all American to work together toward the change he dreamed of.

5. The other idea which I found inspiring in the book is where the author says that leadership is not about who you are, but about what you do, especially if you actually get it done. Many times we see official leaders paying lip services where as some committed people address critical issues, solve critical problems and bring about progress and uplift grass root level people who had lost hope. Such people are always regarded as true leaders unlike those officially entrusted with power but do not use it to uplift people’s lives or use it to undermine peoples’ liberties and freedoms. Most of the great leaders, the most recent example being president Obama, came up from playing small but meaningful roles in their grassroot community levels. This idea strengthened my commitment and effort to help marginalized groups and less privileged individuals in my community to recover their lost hope and take in charge their lives.

6. Another important idea from the book is the author’s approach and interpretation of leadership in relation to teamwork. According to the author, “in order to be a team leader, you have to be able to get people to want to do what you need them to do rather than simply ordering them to do what you want“. As the author rightly says, a well formed and well-led team is capable of great things. This is because , so says the author, many hands, and heads, are better than one. According to the author, a cohesive team shares progress, problems, success as well as failures. in such a team, when a team member makes progress on a portion of a problem, you should expect that person to teach what he or she has learned to the entire group. Furthermore, says the author, the leader should not be concerned with the blame but fixing the problem. This translates the reality of many companies in which bosses spend time looking for mistakes and blaming workers instead of spending time looking for problems so that they be fixed on time. Indeed many leaders take pleasure in finding mistakes in order to punish rather than taking pleasure in finding success and excellence to reward. As the author rightly puts it, as a leader, when you encounter failures of execution, you have to look long and hard at the reasons. If you’ve been responsible about the way you set up your group and the leadership you’ve given it, then almost always, if a group member fails, the failure is at least partially yours. Unfortunately few leaders understand the role and their job this way. The blame almost always goes to the followers and usually some one is singled out as the cause of the failure and pays for it in one way or another.

7. Finally, the other interesting point made by the author that I find enlightening is what he refers to as “the sin of pride“. As he explains, “because leadership is about the willingness to embrace responsibility, then a leader has to act responsibly“. I liked the image of warning that the author draws for leaders to remember which goes thus “as a leader, you can’t go around with your chest stuck out and your head full of yourself and your power, because there’s always somebody around who is more than willing to challenge your authority, or worse, to undermine it“. Indeed many a leader once on power start feeling and behaving as untouchable and unmovable. However, as history tells us, there is no one leader so powerful that reigned forever. Every reign, every leadership has an end, hence the advise from the author to lead responsibly. As he rightly says, “a good leader does not put much emphasis on the title, role, or trappings of leadership, but rather, concentrates on the responsibilities of leadership and keeping up good relations with the group. Moreover, the author points out that a good leader should be proud of leaving behind him a good name and an effective successor. As he reminds us, “people move around nowadays, and today’s enemy may become tomorrow’s ally if you leave on good terms“. This reminds me of what my tutor used to tell me that it is important to be nice to people that you bypass on your way to the top of the mountain of fame and power since you are likely to meet them on your way down.

3 . How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas enlightened me and gave me basic principles to rely on in my community work. They also help me to better organise my life both social, academic and professional in the pursuit of my set objectives. They also help me focus my vision and work methodically towards achieving my objectives and fulfilling my dreams. Furthermore, these ideas will assist me a great deal as I work hard to serve and inspire some people in my community who are less advantaged than me, especially the uneducated and unemployed youth who look up to some sort of guidance and see me as a success story, a role model to follow.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment them.

Many quotes were used throughout the book but the following quote particularly my attention:

On being realistic in setting goals, says the author, Peter Derow had this to say, “Take care in how you set your goals. If you set them too high and don’t reach them, you will be seen as a failure. If you set them lower and then exceed your goals, people will look at you as a hero”. However, the author comments that Derow could have added, “Don’t set them too low, or management will think you’re too timid”. This is true because a leader is expected to set challenging but doable goals that followers and managers alike look at and confirm that the leader is worth it. If the opposite happens where followers and managers find the goals to be quite cheap and simple, the leader loses esteem. Thus, not only a leader is expected to come up with realistic and doable goals but the latter have to be inspiring and convincing to the followers and to his/her supervisors.

The Danish mathematician, Peter Hein, is quoted by the author saying, “The solution to problem lies in its definition”. I totally agree with him. Most of the time we tend to panic when a problem arises and we rush to finding a solution without properly assessing and defining the problem in order to find the symptoms and the causes. This leads into misinterpretation and hence wrong judgment and wrong solutions.

Lech Walesa, the polish leader is quoted saying, “you become free by acting free”. As the author says, the same is true of leading; you become a leader by acting like a leader.

The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to carry on”. (Walter Lippmann). Many leaders don’t want to prepare a successor. Whether this is done deliberately or by ignorance, the reality is that in such circumstances the outgoing has failed. In my cultural belief, and I think it is shared across cultures, a parent, usually a father, takes pride in leaving behind successful children. The belief goes further to say that a father always wishes to see his children going beyond what he has achieved as success.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?

There is one idea which I took with caution, or to put it clearer, I did not totally agreed with the author when he says that anybody can be a leader. I agree with him in the sense that any one who receives good training and conducive environment can be a leader. However, It is too simplistic to say that anybody can be a leader. This would defeat the whole purpose of having a leader since anybody can be a leader.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

There was no exercise in the book.

7. Was there any thing you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment..

I found the idea of the author about leading across cultures and in a diverse world quite original. As he rightly says, when a leader emerge from a minority or marginalized group a sort of puzzle arises. Should he/she favour his/her folk who suffered a long period of injustice at the detriment of the members from the perceived oppressors? How does he reconcile the varying expectations of his/her followers. I thought of Obama to whom not only the minority groups in America, especially the black community, but also all the underprivileged and the oppressed throughout the world, are looking up for a way through. How does he satisfy all these varying expectations. It reminded me also of Nelson Mandela in South Africa whom many expected to revenge and punish apartheid rulers for their sins but to the surprise of everyone chose forgiveness and reconciliation for peaceful rainbow South Africa.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

Law of Attraction
Assessment by Rwamatwara Egide

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The author guides us on how to attract what we want and avoid what we don’t want in our lives through what he calls the Law of Attraction. The author defines the Law of attraction in the following terms: “I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy and focus to, whether positive or negative”. He then drives the reader through three detailed steps of how to make the Law of Attraction work in one’s life, at all levels; social, professional, business, career, etc.

I found several enlightening ideas in this book, of which the following seven rank most important:

* The first idea which captured my attention is the way the author explains the scientific foundation of the Law of Attraction assimilating it to the Physics principles of atomic energy and electronic principles of attraction of positive and negative poles. He affirms that there is a physiological foundation for positive thinking and its effect in creating the Law of attraction. Although his approach remains a metaphysical thinking as long as there is no empirical evidence to support his explanations, I tend to believe that his reasoning makes a lot of sense, especially when he gives concrete examples to support his arguments. He also acknowledges the unscientific and metaphysical nature of his approach when he concludes that “science has shown that if there are physical laws that can be observed and quantified in one arena, there are most probably similar laws in other arenas, even if they cannot be quantified at this time”. However, despite this lack of scientific evidence to back his explanations, his approach to the effects of positive or negative feelings in our lives remains original.

* The second idea which I liked from the book is what the author refers to as “non-deliberate Attraction”. This, according to the author, refers to the situation whereby some people keep attracting the same experiences, positive or negative, over and over again and cannot tell why. As the author explains, this happens because these people are sending positive or negative vibes non-deliberately simply through their observation of what they are currently getting. He gives an example of someone who opens a wallet and doesn’t see any money. By the mere fact of observing that there is no money in the wallet, he/she starts offering a vibration of lack, fear or some other similar negative vibration. The author says that although this person is not doing it on purpose, the Law of Attraction is simply responding to his/her vibration and giving him/her more of the same. This indeed happens all the time to most of us. Whenever we see, meet or experience something, pleasant or unpleasant, we definitely send out positive or negative vibrations of fear, worry, unhappiness or joy, satisfaction and jubilation without noticing it. This, according to the author, means that the Law of Attraction is at work and as a result we get more of the same. The author concludes that the Law of attraction is already existing in our life whether we understand it or not, whether we like it or not, or whether we believe it or not.

* The other important idea from the book is how the author explains the significance of our words and their impact to our lives. The author demonstrates how words are the common denominator for all of the exercises in the Deliberate Attraction process. Contrary to non-deliberate attraction caused by our thinking without being aware of what we are thinking about, words convey a deliberate thought which can produce positive or negative vibration. The author opens our eyes on how many times we use negative sentences in our daily lives and how this impact on what we attract to ourselves. He illustrates his point by demonstrating that whenever we command not to do or think of something, our thoughts actually do exactly what we are told not to do. For example, if you are told “do not think of a snowstorm”, says the author, you would quite immediately start thinking of a snowstorm. The author concludes that the Law of attraction responds the same way: it hears what you don’t want; hence the advice by the author to avoid saying or thinking about what we don’t want, especially negative things and focus on what we want, positive things. Quoting Napoleon Hill, the author says that “positive and negative emotions cannot occupy the mind at the same time. One or the other must dominate. It is your responsibility to make sure that positive emotions constitute the dominating influence of your mind”. This is so true and applies to my past experience. I have a weakness of being impatient and not tolerating mediocrity. Some times back I happened to supervise a group of people tasked to perform a certain number of functions which I considered simple and straightforward. However, whenever I reviewed their work I always found mistakes and imperfections and although I wouldn’t shout at them or fire them I would feel let down and disappointed; and I couldn’t help showing my dissatisfaction. Our work relation was not that smooth. Despite my effort to give them briefing and orientation on how work should be done errors and mistakes were common place in our work. After reading the principles of positive thinking, I changed my strategy, whenever I distributed work to them; I made sure we did together one or two tasks step by step to completion in a very friendly environment full of jokes and laughter after which I would let them do the remaining tasks at hand. The result of my change was inspiring, positive results did not take time to show; the rate of mistakes and errors dropped drastically and my fellow were coming to me for guidance and assistance whenever stuck. I guess this change in my thinking and feeling is similar to changing to non- and deliberate positive attraction.

* The other important idea I found quite inspiring is where the author says that the first step in making the Law of Attraction work for you is to be clear about what you want. However, as the author rightly says, the challenge is that most people are not good at knowing what they do want but they are good at identifying what they don’t want. I have a good friend of mine who is a champion in negative thinking. Everything he looks at sees them negative, the world is always unfair to him; people are mean, selfish and cruel according to him. I had reached a point of avoiding hanging around with him because I knew that every thing that comes out of his mouth would be tented black and red, purely negative. Out of courtesy and to protect our childhood friendship I would spend the entire time of our company nodding and saying yes to every mourning of his, including those I was not convinced he was making a faire judgment. After all he is quite successful but never sees any thing of value or achievement in his entire possession. It is after reading this book that I find some hints of how to change my reaction to his continuous negative utterances in accordance with what the author proposes. From now on whenever he portrays something in a negative way, I will try to lead him to realize that what he sees as negative has a lot of positive elements and advantages in it using what the author refers to as contrast.

* The other idea that I find quite interesting is the author’s approach to “doubt”. He says that the most common source of doubt (negative vibration) is from your own limiting beliefs. The author points out that the easy way to identify one’s limiting beliefs is that they usually come after you say the word “because”, as in the phrase, “I can’t do this because…”. I totally agree with the author on this as it is the main limiting factor for many people to progress. We most of the time underestimate our capacities or are too lazy to give it a try and we always find an excuse. I remember one day I saw an advert of call for papers to participate in a big academic international conference on the internet. I printed it out and shared it with my friend whom I described above. He didn’t even read it entirely. He was quick to say that I am wasting my time since only experienced old professors -which I am not – attend such gatherings. Yet the paper clearly encouraged applications from junior researchers, especially from developing countries, both factors he and I qualified perfectly well. Lucky enough I was not affected by his negative words of discouragement and went on to apply. My paper was selected and I was fully sponsored to participate in that highly academic gathering where I made good interventions and from then on I am regularly invited as a resource person in that particular area. My friend has not given a try although he sees me flying now and again and I know he would want to and he is qualified to do as well if not better than I do, but the limiting beliefs hold him ransom. I will give him this book to read hoping that it gives him more evidence of changing his inclination to negative attraction.

* Another hidden idea which I unearthed in the book is what I can paraphrase as “if other people can do it why not me”. This idea is put across by the author in what he calls formula for creating allowing statement as an answer to some of the limiting beliefs. He says, whenever you hear yourself stating a limiting belief (or having doubt), you can use this formula to help create an Allowing Statement which will help lessen or remove your doubt. One of the allowing statements which I have paraphrased above is proposed by the author as follows: Start by asking yourself if there is anyone currently doing what you want to do or having what you want? If so, then how many people have been doing this today? Yesterday? Last week? Last month? Last year? And I then add, if those people can do it why not me? Indeed this attitude has enabled me achieve what many people thought I was trying the impossible. Knowing that some people in conditions similar or worse than the ones I find myself in have succeeded I would simply tell myself that if others have made it I should make it too and I usually have managed.

* The last but not least idea I found quite inspiring in the book is the author’s approach to appreciation and gratitude. He says that appreciation and gratitude help you send out strong positive vibrations. He invites us to think of a time when we expressed thanks to someone in our life. The feelings we experienced were positive indeed. Equally and complementary to this is the idea of being receptive as part of feeling and accepting abundance. As the author rightly puts it, a lot of people feel challenged to say yes when some one offers to pay for their lunch or buy them a gift or wants to simply give them money. Many of such people are trying to avoid being indebted or owing in return. However, I agree with the author that this kind of resistance to receive favours constitute a serious limiting factor to abundance. This is exactly my friend I talked about above. He hardly accepts free gifts and favours and when he happens to accept any he feels uncomfortable and starts wondering about the motives behind the gift. I agree with the author that this negative attitude is repellent to abundance and can be a source and an attraction of negative experiences.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

They helped me figure out some of the happenings and surprises we, and I personally, experience every day and take for granted. They will also help me reorganize and focus my thinking. I will also use them to help people around me, especially my good friend, to adopt positive thinking in their daily lives for their own good and the good of the community at large.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment them.

“Positive and negative emotions cannot occupy the mind at the same time. One or the other must dominate. It is your responsibility to make sure that positive emotions constitute the dominating influence of your mind” by Napoleon Hill. This is the masterpiece around which the whole debate in the book is built. Indeed, as the Holy Bible rightly says, you can’t serve two masters. Similarly, at one single time our mind is either positive or negative in reaction to our experiences. It is up to us to focus on positive thoughts and avoid negative ones in order to avoid attracting negative experiences.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?

I won’t say that I totally disagree but I simply add something on the author’s idea of positive thinking. It is not enough to have positive thinking and dreams to have them materialized; dreams have to be accompanied by individual effort through hard work in order to achieve the desired result and for the dreams to come true. The author seems to ignore or to underestimate the importance of hard work.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes there were many exercises and I completed some. They were indeed helpful.

7. Was there any thing you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment..

I covered all that I thought was inspiring to me.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 8
D. Would you recommend it to others? 8
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8

Goal Mapping
Assessment by Egide Rwamatwara (Congo)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea in this book is the notion of success and the factors underlying it. According to the author the main factor determining success is the process of setting up and pursuing the goal, hence the title of the book “Goal mapping”.

I learned several important lessons from this book, but if I had to list just seven most important ones, the following would be my favorite:

* The first important idea in this book concerns the author’s approach to the notion of success. He rightly observes that “success means different things to different people at different times…”. This relativity renders the notion of success difficult to apprehend let alone to measure it in order to determine its achievement. The author also quite rightly says that “as humans we tend to define success not so much in relation to our life or physical existence, which so many people take for granted, but in relation to the achievement of our individual and material desires or wishes: the specific things we want”. Indeed we have all, in one way or another, achieved so many things in life. However, we have never reached a point of saying ‘I have achieved enough success, I can now sit back and relax’. We all continue to pursue success in any form we give to this notion. The desire for success and achievement is never fully satisfied. At the end one wanders whether this thing called success exists at all in the eyes of the individual looking at him/herself. It is quite easy to say that so and so is successful but it is not certain that this so and so considers him/herself as successful. Thus the notion of success is rather hard to define and mere impossible to determine its content and its dimensions. Its’ achievement is also relatively assessed. What I consider success might look banal to you and what you strive to achieve as your measure of success might mean little to me.

* The other interesting point put forward by the author in this book is where he says that true success depends upon achieving a balance of just three core values: happiness, peace of mind, and an experience of abundance. Although I find this ideal meaning of happiness fairy interesting and in as much as I would want to concur with the author on this simplistic approach to success, I still remain skeptical on how to measure happiness, peace of mind and abundance so as to balance them. Furthermore what brings happiness to me is not necessarily what brings happiness to someone else; which makes it difficult to determine the balance of the three factors for reaching true success. Like success, the meaning of happiness is relative and varies from one individual to the other. If I take an example of school and education as a value of happiness and success, I find that the desire is never fully achieved. When we were in primary school our measure of success was generally to pass with a high score so as to be admitted to high school. In high school the main objective many of us strived for was to proceed to college. In college the dream of each of us constituting success was to get a good job after graduation. I bet I fulfilled these dreams, and many like me did, but once on the first so called good job we all needed a promotion. Promotion after promotion, we strived for a managerial position and soon tired of the same work environment, we wanted to change the job and company hence started browsing for vacancies in search of better jobs. The same reasoning can be performed in any area of life be it social, economic or political. A young person dreams of perfect date, then a life partner, then a happy marriage, then children, … the chain is endless. Economically, wealth wise or business wise, this reasoning still applies. From the initial dream of starting a business, develop other desires of increasing and expanding the business; hence the difficulty of setting parameters against which to measure the balance of the three factors put forward by the author, namely, happiness, peace of mind, and an experience of abundance.

* The third important idea is the author’s contention that you do not need necessarily to be rich to be in abundance. He rightly says that some people have little if you were to add up their material wealth, however, they have enough for the way they have chosen to live their life; they also have peace of mind and happiness. He considers these as truly successful people. He goes on to say that on the other hand, there are some people who are fabulously wealthy but desperately miserable and their material successes have come to mean little to them. He says that no matter what you may achieve in your life, without happiness and a sense of peace it will soon start to lose its flavor and become unfulfilling. Needless to add that many are people with little material wealth who live miserably and many are the people with plenty who live peacefully. This topic was so interesting to me as it enabled me to think about the notion of success for myself and the world around me. It also helped me to treasure the small achievements which I take for granted. Indeed happiness and a sense of abundance is not measured soley against the material wealth but mainly the type of life the person leads within his/her material wealth.

* The other important idea that I found in the book is the notion of goal and goal setting as put forward by the author. As he rightly says, “every achievement of any nature, whether great or small, is always preceded by a goal”. The author affirms that “goal-setting is the master art or skill for life because it is the ability that enables us to gain all other skills and abilities”. I concur with the author that all of us, knowingly or unknowingly, set goals which determine our destiny. Indeed our subconscious obeys to our dictates developed in our thoughts, our conscious mind. The author contends that successful people know how to make use of this natural mental ability for their personal achievements. I agree with the author that people who plan and set goals and remain focused always achieve their goals. I also agree with the author when he says that every area and aspect of our lives needs to be goal-oriented if we are to reach full potential and live our best life. Goal-setting, says the author, is the process of making a conscious decision, setting a target and, if necessary, delaying gratification until the target has been achieved. This is so true because goal achievement requires some form of sacrifice. I remember that to get another degree that I had so much dreamed of I had to sacrifice my leisure time and social life. I often asked myself whether it was worth it to sacrifice so much for the sake of a degree that I did not need to get a job, simply because having it would make me happy.

* Another important and inspiring idea found in the book is the notion of balance associated with success. As the author points out, “balance makes life work well“. He goes on to say that when you are in balance you feel really good about yourself inwardly and this reflects in your life outwardly. Indeed it is rare to find people who have succeeded on all grounds. Those who succeed in business usually fail on the family and/or social life side. I agree with the author that a balance of success in the mental, emotional, physical, financial, social and spiritual would render the person clearly happy. However, most of these aspect are beyond the individual control. For example, we can’t predict, let alone prevent certain sickness such as those which are genetic or hereditary. Furthermore, we cannot predict and/or prevent a plane crash or a car accident which kills our loved ones and hence renders us emotionally and socially low; and hence compromises our balance.

* The next most important idea is the notion of being response-able. As the author puts it, “responsibility equals the ability to choose your response. It is the key to your greatest freedom and ultimate success”. He rightly says that the opposite of response-ability is blame. I liked his own testimony on this when he recounts that in his early years he had developed the habit of blaming everyone and everything for any aspect of himself and his life that he didn’t like. It is indeed common to all of us. We all tend to find the cause and the blame for our failures out there – outside ourselves, and always due to somebody else’s fault. I agree with the author that this attitude “results in you feeling as if someone is doing something to you, or making you feel certain way, and that you are powerless to do anything about it. Blame turns you in to a victim”. This reflects my experience in life, especially in my professional life. Whenever I failed to achieve an objective I tended to find the reason out there and somebody to blame for it to. Like the author, I decided to take my control of my destiny and stopped to blame anybody for my failure and since then my life improved significantly.

* Last but not least, I found the point ‘involve to evolve’ quite true and inspiring. I agree with the author when he says that “we live in an age of great networks, associations and freedom of information. Use it and contribute to it”. As the author further points out, we need to consider other people when evaluating opportunities, searching for answers, and making decisions about life direction and goals”. Indeed many opportunities require some kind of networks and connections to be accessed. I remember that to get my first job, I had to be introduced to the manager of the company by his secretary who was a friend of my mother’s friend. Out of this meeting, the manager realized that he needed a particular skill that I had and hence asked for my CV and in no time at all I was called for a formal interview. Without the network and connections I would not have been short listed for interviews because even though I had the particular skill needed in the company I did not have the required experience to be considered for the interview. Thus, the author’s advice to check and use all existing networks in order to maximize our opportunity is commendable for success and achievement of our objectives.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas reinforced my belief and principles of taking full control of my life and destiny. They offered me more guidance on how to achieve success through setting goals and following them. They also gave me an opportunity to reflect on the true meaning of success and happiness which are not necessarily to be found in material wealth. They also reminded me the need to balance one’s life.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment them.

The book is full of quotes but the following were particularly inspiring:
The author quotes Anon saying that “you don’t fail when you fall, you fail when you refuse to get up”. By this the author recognizes that no matter how we plan and map our goals, there is always room for failure to achieve the goal. However, failure should not discourage us, rather it should teach us a lesson which enables us to avoid the mistake in the future.

According to Eleanor Roosevelt, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”. Indeed without dreams we cannot strive to achieve any thing. As the author point our, every success starts with a dream. I agree with the author, that dreams give us a range of objectives to achieve in life.

The author quotes Maya Angelou saying that “I am capable of what every other human is capable of. This is one of the great lessons of war and life“. I share the same feeling that what other human has been able to accomplish, I should also achieve if I wanted and committed myself to accomplish it. This completes what Bruce Barton is quoted saying that “ nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstances”. Indeed circumstances, such as crises and trials should strengthen us rather than weaken us.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?

The author’s idea that you do not need necessarily to be rich to be in abundance needs to be nuanced. Although material wealth alone does not necessarily and always lead to abundance and happiness, a minimum wealth is indispensable to achieve certain objectives.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book contained several exercises. These exercises were too long and time consuming. I did not complete them all but will continue to complete them until I finish them all.

7. Was there any thing you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment..

I have commented the main ideas that captured my attention.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 8
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 8
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 7

The Power of Intention
Assessment by Rwamatwara Egide (Congo)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea around which the entire book is built, as the title clearly indicates, is what the author refers to as “intention”. He defines intention as a strong purpose or aim, accompanied by a determination to produce a desired result. This idea of intention, says the author, is so powerful that nothing can stop people driven by it to achieve what they desire and/or to have all their dreams fulfilled.

All ideas in the book were quite important but the following seven can be considered the most important:

i) The first important idea in this book is the author’s approach towards the conceptualization of intention as a force that we all have within us, an invisible field of energy which anyone can attract to change his/her life but which quite a few people actually make use of and become outstanding in the society and do perform what ordinary people view as miracles. I share this idea. Indeed, I have always wondered what great people had so special which make them perform great actions that a common person views as miracles. I always asked myself what makes some people extremely rich while others, living in the same environment, equally physically fit and mentally sound, become extremely poor; how a seemingly ordinary person invent an atomic bomb or another become a Mozart, Da Vinci, Shakespeare, Socrates, etc. The book provided the answer. The difference resides in the capacity of these people to attract the energy of intention and achieve what they set up to achieve. As the author rightly observes, ‘the power of intention has to be creative or nothing would come into existence’. I realized that I have also been making use of this power of intention without realizing it, probably at a lesser extend; but there are some circumstances In which I managed to pull through successfully when others did not or hardly make it and some actions which I performed in a manner that I could not figure out whether it was me who did it or a hand of God has stretched long enough to assist me. Indeed as the author rightly explains, those we view as geniuses are ordinary people who have understood this power, this field of energy, this dormant giant hidden in our conscious which many of us are unable to wake up. As the author correctly puts it, all human beings have within themselves the same essence of consciousness, and the process of creativity and genius are attributes of human consciousness. I agree with him when he says that genius is a potential that lives within us. Indeed each of us is endowed with genius and creativity potentials, what makes a difference is the awareness of that gift and effective use of it. It reminds me that parable of Jesus Christ to his disciples about talents given to different people, some multiplied them others hid them and never fructified them. It is the same with our potentials and genius, few of us make use of them to full capacity and we call them extraordinary or geniuses. Quoting David Hawkins, the author provides the definition of a genius saying that, ‘Genius is by definition a style of consciousness characterized by the ability to access high energy attractor patterns. It is not a personality characteristic…’. This quote says it all.

ii) The second important idea concerns the role of our ‘ego’ in shaping our destiny. As the author rightly puts it, the ego is the idea that we construct about who and what we are. He says that by allowing ego to determine our life path, we deactivate the power of intention and hence we fail to achieve our goals and end up saying that we are unlucky and unfortunate. We spend time mourning and blaming others for our failures and misfortune. This is so true in almost everyone’s life. The author proposes a solution to this state which is to harmonize with the universal mind by combining free will with intention. He gives an interesting warning for the common instances of disconnection from intention saying that ‘when life appears to be working against you, when your luck is down, when the supposedly wrong people show up, or when you slip up and return to old self-defeating habits, recognize the signs that you’re out of harmony with intention’.

iii) The third important idea is the author’s view of the unlimited abundance face of intention. I agree with his observation of the limits and boundaries that we construct around our lives and end up dictating our behaviors. Indeed, as he rightly points out, we all have evolved in an environment setting limitations and we have been led to think in terms of limitations. My space starts here and end there where my neighbors starts; the running speed limit of a human being is this; the age limit of a particular activity is set as that and we tend to internalize these limitations and behave accordingly. Yet, as the author rightly observes, these boundaries keep on changing. He concludes that ‘what all this means is that there are no limits to our potential as people, as collective entities, and as individuals’. He advises us to banish doubt explaining that when doubt is banished, abundance flourishes and any thing is possible. He further argues quite rightly that we all tend to use our thoughts to create the world we choose and that if you doubt your ability to create the life you intend, then you’re refusing the power of intention. The author also guards us against the negative outcomes of our ego. He says that ‘willing yourself to be happy, successful, wealthy, number one, famous, the top salesperson, or the richest person in your community are ideas born of the ego and its obsessive self-absorption. In the name of this willpower, people run roughshod over anyone who gets in their way; cheating, stealing, and deceiving to accomplish their personal intention. Yet these kinds of practices will ultimately lead to disaster. You may achieve the physical goal of your individual intention. However, your imagination, that inner place where you do all of your living, won’t allow you to feel peaceful. This is so true and reflects the majority of behaviors these days. Indeed many are the people who are ready to sacrifice the lives of an entire community in order to obtain and/or protect their personal interest. Else, how can one explain that a normal person using all his/her senses decides to plant a bomb in a plane carrying hundreds of people? How can a leader with a normal brain decide to take billions of public coffers for his personal use leaving children languishing in poverty and dying of diseases and hunger? I have a friend who openly says that he will use all means possible including evil ones to achieve his objectives. Another friend of mine wants to be always number one and is ready to set up, falsely accuse, trap, or even physically eliminate whoever tries to overtake him. I guess this explains the causes and origin of the ills that the world is experiencing today.

iv) The next important idea that the author puts across is his idea of extending kindness to others as a way of attracting to oneself the same kindness. He says that a basic tenet of getting along and being happy, as well as enlisting the assistance of others toward achieving all that you want to attract, is that people want to help you and do things for you. When you are kind to others, you receive kindness in return. Kindness given is kindness returned. By practicing extending kindness everywhere, you will find support showing up in ways that you could never have predicted. This reflects my personal experience in many regards. Indeed I have always enjoyed helping and caring for others to the point that many considered that I was naïve and overspending my resources and time with no real tangible benefit. I always responded that if those who stepped into my life had been interest driven in all that they did for me I wouldn’t be alive today, let alone being what I am today. Indeed I have also received so much assistance and generosity even from people I least expected anything from, total strangers who walked in my life in circumstances and moments where I least expect anybody to come to my rescue. Throughout my life I have received special treatment by quite unknown people with no special expectations from me in return which usually led me to wander where do such people come from and why always me and at this particular moment. I do not doubt that the answer lies in this book, extend kindness and it will come back to you.

v) Another important and inspiring idea that I found in the book concerns the power of our thoughts and vision of the world as put forward by the author. He says that every thought you have has an energy that will either strengthen or weaken you. He recommends to eliminate the thoughts that weaken you, since these thoughts are obstacles to creating a winning match with the universal, supreme Source of intention. He also proposes the greatest panacea to misery and the feeling that the world is against you by advising this: change the way you look at things, and things you look at change. This is very true. Indeed most of the time we spend too much time mourning about situations which we cannot change or complaining and blaming others for our failures and fail to appreciate what we have. As he rightly argues, we project onto the world what we see inside, and we fail to project into the world what we fail to see inside. He guards us to not use weakening energies employed by those around us. He also affirms that other people can’t bring you down if you’re operating at the higher energies. I had a sad experience of someone who blocked my advancement and revealed to a common friend that I would never move upward as long as he will be in a decision-making position. I did not pay any particular attention to that when it was reported to me and I did not take it personally, instead I showed him kindness and never showed that I knew the evil mission he had set for me. I knew quite well that one single individual cannot close all windows of opportunity for you if you do not help him execute this evil plan. Indeed a few months after I heard and ignored this unkind mission and decided to respond to it in a rather positive way, I had several offers of promotion and had actually difficulties to choose from them. Thus the solution proposed by the author of changing the way we look at the world so that the world changes for us is quite commendable.

vi) The next most important idea is the author’s proposal on how to overcome our ego, especially the recommendation of stopping being offended. He quite rightly says that the behavior of others isn’t a reason to be immobilized because, as he says, that which offends you only weakens you. I can’t agree more with the author on this approach, especially when he says that if you’re looking for occasions to be offended, you’ll find them at every turn. Indeed many are those who take pride, joy and happiness in seeing you looking miserable and when you succumb to their bad intentions you give them an easy win over you and you become even more miserable. The author rightly states that being offended creates the same destructive energy that offended you in the first place and leads to attack, counterattack, and war. He also recommends to let go of our need to win and to measure our results and achievements against those of our neighbors and hence start competing. He says that ego loves to divide us up into winners and losers yet winning is impossible all of the time. Indeed as he puts it, there is always some one out there who will be faster, luckier, younger, stronger, and smarter and if you have to be always number one you are doomed to disappointment and to feeling worthless and insignificant. He also recommend to let go the need to be right all the time as this leads to so many conflicts and dissension when we strive to make other people wrong. He also recommend to let go of our need to be superior saying that true nobility isn’t about being better than someone else but about being better than what we used to be. Indeed the greatest people are humble and recognize the valuable contribution of everyone towards their greatness. In this regard he recommends not assessing others on the basis of their appearance, achievements, possessions, and other indices of ego. I liked the last part of the quote from David Hawkins which says that ‘…Those in whom we recognize genius commonly disclaim it. A universal characteristic of genius is humility’.

vii) Last but not least is the author’s idea to move from ordinary to extraordinary that I find quite inspiring. As he explains, if your expectations for yourself center on being normal, just getting along, fitting in, and being an ordinary person, you’ll resonate to ordinary frequencies and you’ll attract more of normal and ordinary into your life. He goes on to say that ordinary implies being stuck in a rut, complaining, finding fault, wishing, and hoping for better days. I can’t agree more with the author on this approach. Indeed we all have the potential to be great but most of us choose the easy way of staying out of trouble and pain condemning ourselves to a life of ever complaining and submitting our fate to well wishers. I remember one day chatting with a lady I met in a conference about an objective that I failed to fulfill due to unforeseen circumstances beyond my control and still mourn about it. The lady simply asked me whether the said circumstances still prevailed and would still stop me from achieving that objective. I looked shy and simply said that I think that it is too late for that. She insisted that it is never late; if I that objective really mattered I could still fulfill it. Indeed I immediately pursued it and achieved it at everyone amazement. Moving from ordinary to extraordinary does not require so much effort but effort, commitment and willingness to go an extra mile and convincing oneself that nothing is impossible for a willing and focused mind.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas helped me to revisit my life and appreciate those actions and achievements that I used to take for granted. They will also help me to make required changes to the way that I view the world around me and my own life as well as the way I view people around me. They also help me to set objectives and the best way to pursue and achieve them efficiently.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment them.

The following quotes captured my attention and were inspiring:

“Remember at all times that what you think and what you do affects other people”. The author quotes a counselor of his daughter. It may look simple but it is full of meaning and wisdom. If everyone would follow this simple wisdom, the world would be better. Indeed we complain about what goes wrong around us but we usually ignore our contribution to what happens around us.

“We must be the change we wish to see in the world” quoted from Mahatma Gandhi. This is a further explanation and a complement of the quote above on our involvement in making our world better.

“The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one” from Wilhelm Stekel. This idea is so touching as it portrays real greatness and successfulness. Indeed humility is the key to any meaningful success. It also conveys the sense of generosity and caring for others and not always looking at our own interest in our every day activities.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?

No. The book is quite reader friendly and touches the everyday life and reality. The author has his own way of explaining things and cannot be challenged on any of his approaches.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Not really. It rather recommends some exercises and behaviors such as meditation and Yoga practicing which I do my own way.

7. Was there any thing you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment..

I have commented the main ideas that captured my attention.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

Goal Setting 101
Assessment by Rwamatwara Egide (Congo)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

As the title of the book clearly indicates, the book is about the importance of setting goals and living up to them. As the author explains, “achievements and accomplishments are the result of clearly defined goals acted upon until completion”. He further affirms that “careful planning, thoughtful strategy, and faithful execution are the factors that lead to success”.

The book contains several important ideas of which the following seven were exceptionally important to me:

i. The author’s statement that “a goal is an end toward which you direct specific effort” was particularly enlightening. Through this idea the author gives a meaning to our being and our every day effort. As he rightly explains, a goal is an end result of our work, an ambition which we strive to achieve. This explains the difference in people’s achievements which also depend on how they differ in setting their goals and deploy their effort to achieve them. The author summarizes this situation by saying that, “the amount and intensity of effort provided is always dependent on the individual and how important the goal is to that person”. Setting a goal also helps us measure our performance and achievement in life. In fact, when a goal is properly set and followed accordingly it becomes easy to measure the level of its achievement which in turn determines our level of success and satisfaction in life. As the author says, a goal is a specific, measurable accomplishment to be achieved within a specific time frame”. This idea was particularly important to me because throughout my life I have been setting goals which many people in my entourage thought they were unattainable or simply did not understand why I would spend so much time and effort to achieve a particular goal. I learned not to listen to detractors and pursue the goal that I knew would bring me success and satisfaction once achieved. I remember registering for a particular degree which many of my friends considered a waste of time since I had already enough degrees. Indeed this degree took away a good part of my social life which many of my friends could not understand and tolerate. However, the desire to have that degree on my list of achievements was so strong that I was ready to face the challenge. The ambition to have this degree justified the effort, the time and energy as well as the sacrifice in terms of my social life. When I finished the degree, the same people who discouraged me congratulated me and saluted my achievement. I am convinced that this is the essence of goal setting and the satisfaction and content that it brings us once it is successfully achieved.

ii. The second important idea from the book is the author’s approach to ‘vision’. He defines a vision as “a way of seeing or conceiving what you want to create or achieve. I liked the metaphor developed by the author that planning without a vision is like starting a trip without first determining your destination, purpose of the trip, and what you expect to do when you get there. This idea is important because without a vision our actions lack direction and motivation and are doomed to fail. The author recommends that the vision must be understood, shared, accepted and lived by everyone who plays a role in making it a reality. This is where a leader must have a vision clearly formulated and communicated to his followers. Furthermore, the vision as such formulated and communicated must be embraced and owned by the followers for its accomplishment. This applies to a small scale setting such as a family. The vision of the head of the household must be clearly communicated to the members of the household if the latter have to participate in its achievement. The idea is very inspiring for aspiring leaders like me.

iii. The other interesting idea that I found in this book is what the author refers to as the ‘power of choice’. He rightly says that the greatest power of a human being is his/her birthright ‘power to choose’. Indeed we all have that power to choose the course of our actions and every choice we make has a direct impact in our life. Our success and our failure in any of our endeavors depend on the choices that we make at a particular point in time. I liked the author’s statement that “success is the intentional, pre-meditated use of choice and decision”. He says that the objective is to choose the right goals, and then to create the necessary causes, the effects follow. I share his observation that the difference between what one person and another achieves depends more on goal choices than abilities. This is very true. Many highly talented people are not successful and many less talented end up the most successful people. The secret lies in the author’s observation that the profound differences between successful people and others are the goals they choose to pursue. He affirms, quite rightly, that individuals with similar talents, intelligence, and abilities will achieve different results because they select and pursue different goals.

iv. The next important idea that I found in the book is the author’s advice to act like a leader. As he rightly puts it, the first rule of personal leadership is to act as if you are a leader and that the primary criterion of any leader is the ability to achieve the goal, whatever it may be. Indeed our lives are made up of successive achievements and victories which are most of the time unnoticed or taken for granted. The author is encouraging us to be aware of these small achievements and always act towards them. I liked his commend to build our lives on a permanent record of accomplishment. We have to take the lead and move towards the achievement of our goals. I agree with him when he says that no one else will do the job for you. Many of us spend time morning and complaining about everything around us instead of taking our destiny in hands and act towards fulfilling our dreams. As the author says, you cannot swim without being in the water and you cannot skate without being on the ice. It is important to get to the job and put in action what we aim for. The author also reminds us that our actions are of greater consequence than words. Indeed in many cases our plans are well designed on paper or in words but are never put into practice. I liked his wisdom nicely put forward thus, ‘Say what needs to be said; then, act accordingly’.

v. I also found the idea to ‘always set a deadline’ quite appealing. I agree with the author when he says that lack of a specific deadline often results in a lack of focused approach to attaining your goal. Indeed when a deadline is set it increases commitment and a kind of an impulse to beat the deadline. It also helps gagging the progress made and the required resources to achieve the goal in terms of time and energy. As the author rightly affirms, goal setting is often a matter of balancing timing against available resources. Throughout my adult life setting deadlines for the goals I aim to achieve played a significant role in my actually achieving them. I have used this strategy for the studies that I did while working. It is usually difficult to combine professional work and academic activities. However, nowadays many people strive to pursue their studies while working in order to increase their chances for promotion or to achieve academic credentials that they have always dreamed of. Whatever the motive may be, the best way to achieve this goal requires setting deadlines and working hard to meet them. This approach has enabled me to succeed in all the goals that I have set for myself and I don’t doubt that it applies and works to anybody who believes in it.

vi. The next idea which inspired me from the book is where the author recommends us to keep a positive attitude. As he rightly says, success is an attitude. I agree with him when he says that ‘it is a winning attitude that motivates success, and it is a winning attitude that sustains success’. Indeed our achievements are usually limited by our attitude and belief. The moment we convince ourselves that it is not possible to do it or to go beyond a certain limit this becomes an insurmountable barrier. However, when our mind is constantly trained to go an extra mile nothing can limit our achievements. This is my personal philosophy and attitude. Every time I set an objective to achieve, I set a deadline and work hard to fulfill my objective and I always succeed. This can happen for everyone who believe and live up to his/her belief. Thus, the author’s contention that “only by stretching do we grow. If you push the limits, you define new limits. And then you should push those. You are capable of producing and achieving much more than you believe possible”, is commendable. This explains why we constantly have new Guinness records and new champions in every discipline, especially in sports. It is because these outstanding champions strive to push the limits and with strong beliefs they do achieve their goals.

vii. Last but not least is the author’s recommendation to us all, expressed as follows: “don’t be defeated”. Indeed as he rightly says, our entourage is full of Nay-Sayers, those who always try to convince us to accept defeat and to quit, who remind us that all is lost. I have learnt not to listen to such negative influences. I tell myself that I gain nothing by simply quitting without giving a last try. I have a friend who is always negative about everything; every time I applied for a particular job, he would tell me that I am wasting my time since the job is designed for someone else. I always told him that that somebody might be me and that the worst that can happen to me if I do apply is to receive a regret letter. One day I was invited for an interview and the fellow still told me that I am wasting my time; that I was short listed as a cover up for the person for whom the job has been designed. When I was not selected for that particular job he was happy that his point was proven. But I told him that my participation in an interview is not necessarily to get the job but also and mainly it is a learning occasion and recognition that I am considered for a particular professional field. This on its own is an achievement. Indeed in no time the same company called me for a second interview and offered me a good job. As the author rightly argues, ‘victory and defeat are rarely absolutes”. I fully support the author when he advises us to “exhaust all alternatives”.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas reinforce my beliefs and way of approaching and viewing the world around me, especially setting and pursuing my goals. They strengthen my attitude and guide my struggle to resist negative influence from my entourage. They also help me develop and refine my goals and vision and how to fulfill them. The advices provided in the book will certainly help me pursue my objectives and ensure their achievement.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment them.

Apart from the authors’ own quotes and advices, I didn’t come across any particular quote worth being commented.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?

Not really. Everything in the book is straightforward.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book contained a couple of exercises and I have completed them and will continue to use them as I find them interesting.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment..

I liked the author’s idea on how to manage fear, especially when the author says that “the person who cannot face a fear will always be running from it. Better to run toward a goal than away from a fear”. Indeed all adventures inspire fear and reticence. The author rightly says that “everyone is afraid from time to time”. However, as he says, discipline, pride, self-respect, self confidence, and the love of victory are attributes that will make you courageous …even when you are afraid”. I found this wisdom particularly inspiring. Indeed those who dare and persevere conquer the world.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

Unlimited Power
Assessment by Rwamatwara Egide (Congo)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

This book is about the ways that allow us to achieve our dreams and aspirations by becoming aware of and effectively using our potentials and capacities. As the author puts it, the book is about “… how to turn on and use our minds and bodies in the most powerful and advantageous ways”. The book also guides us on how to achieve success. The author defines success as the ongoing process of striving to become more. According to him, what makes a difference for achieving success is action. He says that action is what unites every great success. Action is what produces results. He maintains that the greatest gift that extraordinarily successful people have over the average person is their ability to get themselves to take action. The author himself summarizes what this book is all about as follows: “… if I were to say to you in two words what this book is about, I’d say: Producing results”.

The following seven ideas were personally and particularly important to me:

i. The author’s approach to communication and representation of the world around us and how it affects our behaviors and henceforth our success or lack of it was commendable. He says that we all produce two forms of communication, internal and external, from which the experience of our lives is fashioned. I agree with him when he says that communication is power and those who master its effective use can change their own experience of the world and the world’s experience of them. Indeed I have personally experienced the power of effective use of communication both internal and external. I used to have a boss who, for some reason, never liked me and could not support me despite my hard work and competence appreciated by everyone in the company except him. It used to pain me and to frustrate me until I sat down and reflected on the possible causes of my boss’s behavior towards me and I managed to adjust my internal feeling towards his hatred. With time I managed to win his trust and we became friends and our professional relationship improved significantly. Thus, I agree with the author when he says that your level of communication mastery in the external world will determine your level of success with others – personally, emotionally, socially, and financially. His idea that how you feel is not the result of what is happening in your life but your interpretation of what is happening is very true. He is quite right when he says that you are the one who decides how to feel and act based upon the ways you choose to perceive your life. Nothing has any meaning except the meaning we give it. I have experienced the power of this approach with a group of young refugees that I used to mentor. When I met them their perception of life was limited to their status as refugees. They had a very low self esteem and considered themselves as failed guys with no future and that the whole world is against them. I helped them change this internal representation of themselves and the world around them by convincingly showing them that their refugee status had nothing to do with their success if they clearly set up what they want to achieve in life and work hard towards achieving that goal. Today most of them are leading a successful life and they are still refugees. I actually successfully demonstrated to them how their refugee situation could be turned into an opportunity for achieving many of their dreams.

ii. I liked the author’s seven basic triggering mechanisms that can ensure success. The first one is passion and I totally agree with the author that passion is the mother of all successes. Indeed as he puts it, there is no greatness without passion to be great. I personally have experienced the power of passion towards achieving a goal. I remember registering for a degree while I was full time employed and all my friends thought I was crazy as the degree required also full time work. Since I had a strong passion to earn that degree I put in all my energy and finished the degree with excellence to the surprise of my entourage. The second trait of success is belief, and the author is right to say that people who succeed know what they want and believe that they can get it. This is pure truth if you strongly believe in something you cannot fail to get it. My experience described above attests the power of belief too. As the author rightly says, passion and belief help to provide the fuel, the propulsion toward excellence. The third trait is strategy. The author defines strategy as a way of organizing resources. Indeed my success described above was made possible by managing well the greatest scarce resource I had, namely, time. The fourth trait of success is clarity of values. According to the author, values are specific belief systems we have about what is right and wrong for our lives. Indeed, as the author points out, many powerful countries are built on strong values such as patriotism, pride, sense of tolerance and a love of freedom. I would add to this list values such as compassion, a sense of solidarity, care for the poor, the weak and the sick. The fifth trait of success is energy. I agree with the author that great success is inseparable from the physical, intellectual, and spiritual energy that allows us to make the most of what we have. The sixth trait is what the author calls the bonding power. I share the author’s view that great success requires the ability to form bonds that unite them to other people. The seventh trait is Mastery of Communication. I liked the author’s observation that people who succeed in life are those who have learned how to take any challenge that life gives them and communicate that experience to themselves in a way that causes them to successfully change things. People who fail take the adversities of life and accept them as limitations. This has become my philosophy of life and ever since I undertook this way of thinking my life has completely changed and I feel confident no matter how difficult and challenging or dangerous is the situation that I am confronted with. Failure is no longer in my vocabulary; every setback is a learning opportunity for future better performance and achievement.

iii. The other interesting idea that I found in this book is what the author refers to as “the difference that makes the difference”. Like him I always wondered why some people achieve and others don’t; why some people are rich, intelligent, and successful while others are poor and/or fail in their undertakings. The author provides explanatory answers. I liked his approach towards difference in handling life’s surprises. As he rightly says, in every man and woman’s life there comes a time of ultimate challenge, a time when every resource we have is tested. A time when life seems unfair. A time when our faith, our values, our patience, our compassion, our ability to persist, are all pushed to our limits and beyond. Some people use such tests as opportunities to become better people; others allow these experiences of life to destroy them. He comes to the conclusion that what makes a difference between these people is that it is not what happens to us that separates failures from success. He goes on to say that the difference between those who succeed and those who fail isn’t what they have, it’s what they choose to see and do with their resources and their experience of life. I share this explanation in many regards. I went to school with children from very rich families and I was astonished to see how they failed when they had all the support and resources and yet children from poor families who hardly had enough to eat and time to do they homework as they had to help in various domestic tasks did so well in school. The reason is no other than the latter’s ability to effectively utilize the limited resources they have and the former’s failure to effectively make use of the abundant resources at their disposal.

iv. I also liked the author’s detailed approach to belief. He defines belief as any guiding principle, dictum, faith, or passion that can provide meaning and direction in life. He says that beliefs are the prearranged, organized filters to our perceptions of the world. They are like commanders of the brain. He quotes John Stuart Mill as saying that “one person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine who have only interests”. All this attests the power of belief. Indeed as the author rightly says, handled effectively, beliefs can be the most powerful forces for creating great things in your life. On the other hand, beliefs that limit your actions and thoughts can be as devastating as resourceful beliefs can be empowering. Beliefs help us tap the richest resources deep within us, creating and directing these resources in the support of our desired outcomes. I liked the author’s representation of beliefs as the compass and maps that guide us toward our goals and give us the surety to know we’ll get there. I agree with him that with powerful guiding beliefs, you have the power to take action and create the world you want to live in. This kind of belief has inspired nationalist movements around the world and throughout history to claim their right to self determination. However, the same belief can be used in the negative direction and cause harm. Indeed, the same nationalist and patriotic belief has been used to commit the worst crimes of history such as the holocaust or the genocides that the world has experienced in different areas. As the author says, and I share his observation, there is no more powerful directing force in human behavior than belief.

v. I also liked the approach and illustration of the common truism of success oriented people that “everything happens for a reason and a purpose”. As the author rightly says, successful people have the uncanny ability to focus on what is possible in a situation, what positive results come from it. No matter how much negative feedback they get from their environment, they think in terms of possibilities. They think that everything happens for a reason, and it serves them. They believe that every adversity contains the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit. Indeed, as the author points out, many people tend to focus on the negative more than the positive. In our social life, professional and/or business activities, we tend to forget 99 percent of positive outcomes of our actions because of 1 percent that did not work the way we wanted. We forget that things don’t always go in the direction we want. If this was always the case life would be meaningless. However, as the author says, even negative outcomes or what we consider adversity contains several windows of opportunities that we tend to ignore and waste time mourning the loss and complaining about unjust and unfair treatment that led to the perceived adversity. As the author rightly concludes, the first step towards changing that attitude is to recognize this reality. Belief in limits, says the author, creates limited people. The key is to let go of those limitations and operate from a higher set of resources. This has been my guiding principle for a long time. Whenever I am denied a right or treated unfairly I do not lose my focus as I consider that this gives satisfaction to those who want to frustrate me. Instead I look for openings and opportunities that the situation offers and it usually pays off.

vi. The next idea which inspired me from this book is what the author refers to as congruency between a person’s needs and the values he/she cherishes or experience of internal conflicts. He says that if a person achieves a goal but, in order to do so, violates his own belief about what is right or wrong, then turmoil results. Indeed, as the author notes, in order to truly change, grow, and prosper, we need to become consciously aware of the rules we have for ourselves and others, of how we really measure or judge success or failure. The author defines values as your own private, personal, and individual beliefs about what is most important to you. Your values are your belief of systems about right, wrong, good, and bad. Our values are the things we all fundamentally need to move forward. If we don’t we won’t feel whole and fulfilled. I have personally experienced this reality throughout my academic and professional life. I recall in high school that many of my classmates used to score higher mark by cheating. My main value has always been honesty and correctness. I always resisted the attempt to cheat in exams to gain high marks. Likewise, at work many of my colleagues earn favors and advantages by falsely reporting others to the boss. I have always refused to act as a spy to managers even when I had to pay this by being denied professional advantages.

vii. Last but not least is the author’s approach to wealth and happiness. He summarizes this by a simple sentence that “life will pay you whatever you ask of it”. Referring to a beggar he says: “ask for a quarter, and that’s what you’ll get. Ask for resounding joy and success, you’ll get that too”. He proposes five keys which open the door to wealth, happiness and success which I find quite inspiring and worth mentioning here. The first key, he says, is that you must learn how to handle frustration. I agree with him when he says that frustration can kill dreams. Indeed when you are frustrated you lose focus and direction. The second key is that “you must learn how to handle rejection”. Indeed as the author points out, to succeed you must learn how to cope with rejection, learn how to strip that rejection of all its power. I agree with him when he says that there are no real successes without rejection. The more rejection you get, the better you are, the more you’ve learned, the closer you are to your outcome. The third key is that “you must learn to handle financial pressure”. He says that handling financial pressure means knowing how to get and knowing how to give, knowing how to earn and knowing how to save. The fourth key is that “you must learn how to handle complacency”. Once you achieve your objective, don’t stop there, instead set more challenging goals and keep growing. The last key recommends to “always give more than you expect to receive”. The author summarizes this by a simple philosophy that “the secret to living is giving”.

3 . How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas are important as they help me rethink and direct my objectives, dreams and aspirations for a happy and successful life. They also guide me in my daily effort to help change the world around me.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment them.

There were many quotes in the book but the following were most touching:

i. “For every disciplined effort there is a multiple reward.” By Jim Rohn. It goes without saying that discipline is a key to any success. Thus I agree with the author that discipline coupled with hard work yield successful and outstanding results.

ii. “They can because they think they can”, by Virgil. This has to do with belief. Indeed when you believe in success the chances is that you will succeed.

iii. “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt”, by William Shakespeare. This is also true as those who do not dare and those who doubts their potentials and don’t utilize them do not succeed.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?

I found everything in the book quite meaningful and understandable.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book contained a number of exercises but I did not complete them all.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

I have covered the main ideas that attracted my attention.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

Nonviolent Communication
Assessment by Rwamatwara, EGIDE (Congo)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

As the title of the book clearly indicates, the main idea around which this book revolves is to teach us how to adopt a nonviolent communication in our daily life, regardless of our age, our status, our role and responsibility in the society even under pressure and challenging circumstances. The author demonstrates how those small cues, verbal and non verbal, that we take for granted in our every day behaviors and attitudes, do hurt or harm our entourage, especially our partners, causing unnecessary tension and possible violence. The author also teaches us how to identify and rectify unclear statements in our daily language in order to clearly express our demands and our needs so as to assist our counterparts to easily understand and attend to them to our satisfaction and our mutual benefit.

The book contains several interesting and useful ideas, but the following seven appears to be the most outstandingly important to me:

i. The first touching idea is the author’s definition and approach to nonviolent or compassionate communication as “a way to focus attention”. He observes that NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions. However, it is a big challenge to remain human under certain circumstances, especially when we are subjected to unfair treatment or unjustified suffering. The example given by the author about Etty Hillesum being compassionate towards his oppressors is not given to everybody. It takes a lot of courage and a particular spiritual gift to remain compassionate to one’s oppressor. How to claim our innocence, how to demand justice, how to reclaim our rights while remaining compassionate with the oppressor is the greatest challenge that the author tries hard to simplify in his teaching and couching on NVC. As he puts it, NVC guides us in reframing how we express ourselves and hear others. Instead of being habitual, automatic reactions, he says, our words become conscious responses based firmly on an awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling, and wanting. We are led to express ourselves with honesty and clarity, while simultaneously paying others a respectful and empathic attention. In any exchange, we come to hear our own deeper needs and those of others. NVC trains us to observe carefully, and to be able to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us. We learn to identify and clearly articulate what we are concretely wanting in a given situation. This is indeed a long learning process as these ideas are easily said than practiced in real life. According the author, the NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing, or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism, we come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new way. Resistance, defensiveness and violent reactions are minimized. Although it is difficult to apply under painful moments, this approach surely diffuses the tension and possible open conflict and physical violence. I remember of a colleague who used to take pleasure in provoking me so that he could find a reason to report me to the superiors on account of being hard on him to cover up his poor performance. It took me time to come up with a better way to avoid falling in his trap and my strategy was to respond to his provocations with positive and friendly responses and this discouraged his mischievous behavior and he ended up approaching me in a friendlier way and asked me to assist him with his assignments.

ii. The next interesting idea developed in this book is the author’s approach to the quality of compassion which he refers to as “giving from the heart”. He rightly argues that when we give from the heart, we do so out of a joy that springs forth whenever we willingly enrich another person’s life. This kind of giving benefits both the giver and the receiver. The receiver enjoys the gift without worrying about the consequences that accompany gifts given out of fear, guilt, shame, or desire for gain. The giver benefits from the enhanced self-esteem that results when we see our efforts contributing to someone’s well-being. I can’t agree more with the author about the joy derived from a gift given from a good heart as well as the joy of receiving a gift from a genuine good heart. During my University studies I used to visit an orphanage not far from the campus with small gifts to the kids; it gave me a lot of satisfaction and I could see the joy from the children because of the trust and the connection that we had created between each other. As the author emphasizes, we do not need to expect the same treatment in return when we give with heart. Indeed, as he puts it, the use of NVC does not require that the persons with whom we are communicating be literate in NVC or even motivated to relate to us compassionately. If we stay with the principles of NVC, motivated by solely to give and receive compassionately, and do every thing we can to let others know this is our only motive, they will join us in the process and eventually we will be able to respond compassionately to one another. Indeed as the saying goes, behavior breeds behavior.

iii. The other interesting idea that I found in this book is the authors’ highlight of communication that blocks compassion or, as he puts it, what alienates us from our natural state of compassion and leads us to behave violently toward each other and ourselves. One of these “life-alienating communications” is what the author calls the use of moralistic judgments that imply wrongness or badness on the part of people who don’t act in harmony with our values. Our daily language, at work and at home, is full of such communications of blame, insults, put-downs, labels, criticism, comparisons, and diagnoses, even towards our beloved ones. Most of the time we adopt this kind of language unconsciously of the harm it may cause to our counterparts. I remember criticizing my wife that she does not read the many interesting books in our shelves forgetting that I was trying to judge her based on my own test. I later discovered that she likes to read a different type of books and I encouraged her to get more books of her own test. The same attitude is found at workplace, when managers assume that what they know and can do should be easily known and done by their subordinates. Thus, we usually hear statements such as “how can you fail to do this simple task” or “my assistants are lazy, incapable, etc. In my professional work, when I am not satisfied of the product of my assistants, I always try to understand the reasons of not meeting the required the standards and I usually ask them to explain to me how they proceeded and we usually find together the best way of meeting the required quality of work and deadlines. As the author clearly explains, life alienating communication traps us in a world of ideas of rightness and wrongness – a world of judgments; it is a language rich with words that classify and dichotomize people and their actions. When we speaks this language, says the author, we judge others and their behavior while preoccupying ourselves with who is good, bad, normal, abnormal, responsible, irresponsible, smart, ignorant, etc. The example given by the author about his behavior during his childhood of treating his teachers as “mean” or “unreasonable” when they assigned him a task that he didn’t want to do; or to treat a driver as “you idiot’ or “bastard” he pulls out in front of us in traffic, happens or has happened to most of us more than once. This attitude, explains the author, stems from the fact that our attention tends to focus on classifying, analyzing, and determining levels of wrongness rather than on what we and others need and not getting. The author rightly says that such analyses of other human beings are tragic expressions of our own values and needs. He goes on to conclude that this happens because we are accustomed to thinking about what’s wrong with other people when our needs aren’t being fulfilled. I agree with him when he says that this is so because most of us have never been taught to think and express ourselves in terms of needs. I remember during my high university studies one subject which gave me hard time to pass and I simply convinced myself that the lecturer was bad and did not know how to teach. The reality was that I felt a great need of mastering and passing easily this subject.

iv. I also liked the author’s analysis of the pain of expressing our needs versus the pain of not expressing our needs. I concur with him when he says that in a world where we are often judged harshly for identifying and revealing our needs, doing so can be very frightening. I also agree with him that women, in particular, are susceptible to criticism. He is quite right that for centuries, the image of the loving woman has been associated with sacrifice and the denial of her own needs to take care of others. Because women are socialized to view the care taking of others as their highest duty, they have often learned to ignore their own needs. This reminded me of my own mother who used to work so hard even if she was sick or visibly tired. She ignored her own needs of rest and comfort to ensure that the family is comfortable. I am quite sure that this reality is shared by many mothers. This is what the author rightly terms the emotional slavery where we believe ourselves responsible for the feeling of others. We think that we must constantly strive to keep everyone happy. If they don’t appear happy, we feel responsible and compelled to do something about it. This can easily lead us to see the very people who are closest to us as burdens. This is a common reality in our African culture which treasures the extended family. As a member of the family, when we are successful in terms of studies, profession or business, we are expected to look after not only our nuclear family but also the extended family members. As a result, many Africans cannot save as the pay check has to be shared among as many needy people as there are in the extended family, and indeed there are numerous in most cases. Those who go against this norm face a challenging internalize guilt; and any misfortune or bad thing that happens can easily be associated with the refusal to comply with this social norm.

v. Another great analysis in this book is the analysis of request versus demands and the importance of defining our objective when we make requests. As the author rightly says requests are received as demands when others believe they will be blamed or punished if they do not comply. When people hear us make a demand, they see only two options: submission or rebellion. Either way, says the author, the person requesting is perceived as coercive, and the listener’s capacity to respond compassionately to the request is diminished. He also that the more we have in the past blamed, punished, or “laid guilt trips” on others when they haven’t responded to our requests, the higher the likelihood that our requests will now be heard as demands. This more pronounced between parents and children and between teachers and students. The author suggests that we can help others trust that we are requesting, not demanding, by indicating that we would only want the person to comply if he or she can do so willingly. He also observes that expressing genuine requests requires an awareness of our objective. I agree with him when he says that if our objective is only to change people and their behavior or to get our way, then NVC is not an appropriate tool. The idea is that we would like others to change and respond, but only if they choose to do so willingly and passionately. Indeed when others trust that our primary commitment is to the quality of the relationship, and that we expect this process to fulfill everyone’s needs, then they can trust that our requests are true requests and not camouflaged demands. The author recognizes, however, that a consciousness of this objective is difficult to maintain, especially for parents, teachers, managers, and others whose work centers around influencing people and obtaining behavioral results. Indeed because of the influence, the threat, and the fear of rebukes and punishments, the requests of these people are usually received and perceived as demands whose resistance or non compliance carries severe consequences. I remember when I was a kid my father called me to give me a gift but because I knew him to not tolerate mistakes and I had made one that day, I quickly stormed into explanations and defenses until he focused on the mistake and forgot all about the gift. As the author also says, even when we are conscious of our intent and express our request with care, some people may still hear a demand. This is particularly true when we occupy positions of authority and are speaking with those who have had past experiences with coercive authority figures.

vi. I also liked the author’s approach to the use of force. He says that when two disputing parties have each had an opportunity to fully express what they are observing, feeling, needing, and requesting, a resolution can usually be reached that meets the needs of both sides. At the very least, the two can agree, in goodwill, to disagree. In some situations however, affirms the author, the opportunity for such dialogue may not exist, and the use of force may be necessary to protect life or individual rights. For instance, the other party may be unwilling to communicate, or imminent danger may not allow time for communication. In these situations, we may need to resort to force. If we do, NVC requires us to differentiate between the protective and the punitive uses of force. This is an interesting analysis, as the numerous conflicts leading to violence today stem from lack of effective communication and/or unwillingness to compromise. It becomes more difficult when one party feels more powerful, has more authority or means to force compliance to the other party. The latter also derives the force of resistance from certain values and beliefs or strives for justice, pride and dignity or to be treated fairly. In distinguishing the use of force, the author observes that the intention behind the protective use of force is to prevent injury or injustice. The intension behind the punitive use of force is to cause individuals to suffer for their perceived misdeeds. Indeed punishment serves a double purpose, to make the faulty person feel the pain for his/her misdeeds or to force him/her to behave in a certain way and to prevent him/her to repeat the same unwanted action in the future. However, as the author rightly says, when we submit to doing something solely for the purpose of avoiding punishment, our attention is distracted from the value of the action itself. Instead, we are focusing upon the consequences of what might happen if we fail to take that action. I like the illustration provided by the author on this point that if a worker’s performance is prompted by fear of punishment, the job gets done, but morale suffers; sooner or later productivity will decrease. I agree with him that, self-esteem is also diminished when punitive force is used.

vii. Last but not least I liked the author’s approach to expressing appreciation and its effect on people. I agree with him that the beauty of appreciation is spoiled when people begin to notice the lurking intent to get something out of them. I remember one supervisor of mine who used to genuinely compliment and appreciate every action that I performed and my overall hard work, however, as time went on and no tangible reward accompanied the appreciation, the effect on me as well as the joy and encouragement diminished tremendously. Thus the author’s observation that when we use NVC to express appreciation, it is purely to celebrate, not to get something in return. Our sole intension is to celebrate the way our lives have been enriched by others. I also liked and concur with the author’s observation that many of us do not receive appreciation gracefully. We fret over whether we deserve it. We worry about what’s being expected of us. Or we are nervous about living up to the appreciation. Indeed once appreciated, one strive to keep up or go beyond the level of performance that led to the appreciation, especially that most of the time the appreciation is accompanied by remark such as “keep it up” or “continue like that”. This brings happiness but also stress as failure to keep up the pace may result in disappointment on the part of the appreciator. I also share the author’s remarks on the reluctance to express appreciation and the examples and testimonies given are touching. I feel this every day of my life. I lost my father unexpectedly during tragic events that my country experienced about 15 years ago. My father gave me all the support that a child need to succeed and on many occasions he showed how proud of me he was; and one thing I always regret after his passing is that he did not live up to see my success and worse still I regret dearly that I did not have a chance to express my appreciation to him in return and recognition of his support and contribution to my success. From this sad experience, I learned to genuinely express my gratefulness and appreciation to all those who provide me with support or show to me kindness and a helping hand. I remember when I moved to Cairo, it was a quite a new and challenging environment, especially the culture. I received support from many people; one colleague in particular gave me unimaginable and unexpected assistance. When came the time to appreciate the colleague was shy and humble to accept my appreciation, but I insisted by explaining that the little actions that could be taken for granted were of invaluable help to me. I promised that I would never forget that helping hand.

3 . How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas and many more in the book are an eye opener especially for the small gestures that we take for granted such as judging others. They will help me to improve my communication skills in my daily relations in the family, at the workplace and with the world outside. They will also guide me in advising and assisting my colleagues, family members and friends.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment them.

The following were interesting:

i. “What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart” by Marshall Rosenberg. This is a wonderful ideal for a better world.

ii. “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. For as you judge others, so you will yourselves be judged…” Holy Bible, Mathew 7:1. This is another self-explanatory statement for compassionate relationship with others without judging each other but understanding and caring for each other. It sounds moralistic and idealistic but it is true if we want to build a better world free from conflicts, greed, anger and hatred.

iii. “Let us become the change we seek in the world” by Mahatma Gandhi. Indeed if we want a better world we have to start by ourselves and every one of us changes the world will change.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?

The book contains many ideas which sound rather idealistic and unrealistic. Other ideas are easily said than practiced. However, although idealistic, these ideas are quite enlightening and inspiring for those who have the courage and guts to apply them.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book contains several exercises and I did them all and I found them useful.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No. My comments above are sufficient.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 8
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 8
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8