Oluwaseyifunmi Adebisi – Assessments

As A Man Thinketh
Assessment by Oluwaeyifunmi Adebisi (Nigeria)

1. What is the main Idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The author tries to convey the importance of our thoughts in what happens to us. Our thought is directly proportional to the events that happen in our life. It shows our thought obeys the law of cause and effect. Circumstances in our life are effects which has causes. The causes of these circumstances are our thoughts. The making and the downfall of a man is in his thoughts. The struggles of life, the fight can be won in the armory and arsenal of our thoughts.

Man through the mastery of his thoughts is able to mould character, whether good or bad. Our multitude character is in the quality and quantity of our thoughts. Therefore the destiny of a man, his future and all that will ever happen to a man is in the multitude of his thought.
The author also brings to reality the bible passage which admonishes man to guard his heart with all diligence cause out of it comes the issues of life. Therefore all that man face (the issues of life) comes from a culminating effect of their thought. The author showed several areas that our thoughts affect and also how we can effect changes in our life through our thoughts.

It was also established that thoughts are like seeds which begets only it’s like and nothing else. Also, like seeds it produces in multitude than was sown.

2. What were the seven ideas which are personally most important to you and why? List the seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The following are seven ideas from the book which has great impact on my life.
* Effect of thought on character
* Effect of thought on Circumstances
* Effect of thought on Health and the Body
* Effect of thought on life purpose and its pursuit
* Effect of thought on the visions and ideals of a man
* Effect of though on the inner peace and tranquility of a man
* Effect of thought on character

A man is literally what he thinks and this shows in his character. The character of a man is the total sum of all his thoughts. It is thoughts that form the kind of things that he does. Character can never be divorced of the way and kind of things we think about. All that happens or is seen as a character of a man is resultant of his thought. If one thinks good of someone you will act as such to the person. Even in our thought of us, if you see yourself as inadequate, before you can explain it you start to behave in an inadequate manner, it’s only a result of your thought. Our thought obeys the law of cause and effect with the speed of light.
Nothing in a man’s life is sudden; it is all a product of our thought. Our character may seem spontaneous but it is a result of our thoughts.

Effect of thought on Circumstances
As long as thoughts obey the law of cause and effect, it will always produce its like. The human man is likened to a garden where all sorts of things can grow, but to get the best result, the garden owner must try to remove the weeds for the good vegetables, plants and flowers to grow. One thing we must understand is that the weeds (the unproductive thought) comes naturally due to the sinful nature of man. Therefore a conscious step needs to be taken to remove the weeds (unproductive thought) from the garden (the human mind). Man is responsible for clearing off the evil thought in our mind.

The circumstances that men face are intimately connected with some vital thought elements within the man. Everyman is where he is by the law of his being; the though which he has built through his character and the arrangement of his life.

Thoughts affect our circumstances in that through the process of self control and self discipline in thought, one is able to control the situations/ circumstances of his life. For instance, I use to have problem with people because I talk back at them quickly and which leads to bad human relations. But through my thoughts of wanting a better relationship with people, I decided to exert some control on my speech, from this I discover I now have few problems with people and changed the circumstances of my human relations.

Man’s circumstances are a product of themselves. You can never improve your circumstances except you improve yourself. Improving yourself is improving your thought into the right quality thinking. It is through improving ourselves that we can accomplish great things.

Effect of thought on Health and the Body
The body is subjected to the mind either deliberately or automatically. Wrong thought brings decay and sickness to the body. The thought of fear and anxiety kills a man faster than a bullet. Diseases and Health are rooted in thought. The fear of diseases makes the mind attract it. What you greatly fear will suddenly come upon you. Anxiety demoralizes the body.

Strong pure and happy thoughts build up the body with vigour and grace. Thoughts are like seed sown into the body and it will produce fruits and if they are good thought, it will produce good fruits and vice versa. Impure and poisoned blood is a result of unclean thoughts. Even if we change our diet and not our thought, yet the body will profit a little from the change of diet. A change in the body metabolism will come from a change in thought. To purify the body, change the thought pattern first then change the diet and great achievement can be made. A happy, bright and serene countenance is a result of a free admittance of a mind of thoughts of joy, goodwill and serenity.

Effect of thought on life purpose and its pursuit
Great accomplishment and achievement comes when thought is linked with purpose. A man who has no central purpose in life fall on easy to petty worries, fears, troubles and self pity leading to unhappiness and loss of strength. Such a person doesn’t have anything to reach out for and is not cultivating his mind but allowing weeds to grow through unhealthy thought. A man must determine a purpose, a purpose that is legitimate and virtuous in his heart and set out to accomplish it. If you have something you set your mind at to achieve, it becomes the central theme of your thought, all that matters to you will be the achievement of that thing.
Working on a purpose draws you to a point to seeking for a higher power to help you accomplish the goal. You move closer to the infinite Intelligence to harness great ideas for purpose. Thought get focus on purpose. Purpose leads to self control and helps you develop the strength of character while overcoming a lot of weakness.

Thinking on purpose moves you higher to the rank of the great. It teaches you that failure is a pathway to attainment. Those who think strongly and fearlessly accomplish greatly and masterfully.

On working with purpose with tenacity, persistence and patience, we weed out negative thoughts of fear and doubts which are impure and inhibitors. Purpose backed with thought for accomplishment gives you the inner strength to face the purpose and make the best of it.

Effect of thought on the visions and ideals of a man
Everything that we see on earth today had two creations, that is it was created twice. But in the sequence of both creations, the first one is the most important because the second one will not come to pass if the first one was not done. It can therefore be concluded that the second one is dependent on the first one. The first one is the mental creation… the thought pattern of creation and the second one is the physical manifestation of what was though about. Doing what was in your thought. The visionary are the movers and shakers of this world because they create all that we have now. The world is beautiful because of this visionary; who have simply use their thought in creation. What you create is in the quality of your dream

Effect of though on the inner peace and tranquility of a man
Serenity, inner peace and tranquility are product of effort of self control and a good understanding of self. A man who understands himself will be at peace with himself and even others. An understanding of self comes through mastery of thought, having clear internal relations of things by the action of causes and effect. Serenity and inner peace is governance of self and good relations with others. If you think good thought about some one, your body produces good actions towards such person.

The right thought is a hallmark of success in a man. The spirit of rebellion is from the thought and every one runs away for the rebellion man. A strong calm man controls his though and he is revered in the society.

Anger result from though and a lot of people have destroyed their lives for the sour spirit and lack of self control…a mere control of one’s thought life.
Suffering is the effect of wrong thought, therefore to attain some sanity and inner peace we must ensure a purity of heart. To experience inner peace one must endeavor to think good thought. The need for the inner harmony can not be overemphasized. A person who is suffering for internal disharmony, cannot be productive, all of these is a product of negative thought.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

The ideas contains in this book will help me on a daily basis to check the quality and kind of things that I think about. It will also help me to look at things in a more positive manner always. This is because to get positive, one must think positive, as our thoughts affect our circumstances.
I also feel that if I can look critically at my thoughts and consciously work at it being positive, I will affect people around me, those around will continue in like manner and the influence of positive impact will continue.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comments as to why they were important to you?

Quote 1 The soul attracts that which it secretly harbor; that which it loves and also that which it fears; it reaches the height of its cherished aspirations; it falls to the level of its unchastened desires…’
Man needs to be careful of what it greatly desires because whether good or bad, you will get it. It is easily to attract the things we think about than just anything. A man falls to the level of his worst thoughts and rise to the level of his most

Quote 2 With those who have lived righteously, age is calm, peaceful and softly mellowed like the setting of the sun

Quote 3 ‘to live continually in thought of ill will, cycnsim, suspicion and envy is to be confined in a self made prison hole.’

Quote 4 ‘The will to do is a product of knowledge of the ability to do’

Quote 5 ‘Self Mastery is Strength, Right Thought is Mastery; Calmness is power…’

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so , why?

I understand to a large extent the information that the book conveys.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all the exercises and did you find them helpful?

There was no exercise in the passage to be completed.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

None

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 5
B. How helpful were the contents? 6
C. How easy was it to understand? 6
D. Would you recommend it to others? 7
E. What is the overall rating you would give it 6

 

 

Jonathan Livingston Seagull
Assessment by Oluwaeyifunmi Adebisi (Nigeria)

1. What is the main Idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The author tried to relate what happens in the life of humans to what happens in the world of seagulls. Like in the world of humans in the world of seagulls, there is a struggle for food and survival. But to have food and merely survival could be all we look out for. This might blindfold us to the higher life that is available if we could only look beyond the instinct of mere survival.

The author tries to convey a lesson of a need to desire a higher life and merely survival looking forward only to the next meal and reach for a higher life. Although the availability of a higher life means you are wiling to work at it, reach for the higher life.
It also conveys a message of exhibiting good survival strategies, understand that life doesn’t hand over to you what you want, but you have to work at what you want to get it.
No matter the level of success we achieve, there is always a higher level to attain

2. What were the seven ideas which are personally most important to you and why? List the seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

* Seek out for your personal development
* Never avoid mistakes, learn from mistakes
* Learning is a continuous process
* In the face of failures and rejection, build the strength of persistence
* Help others to success as you move up your success ladder.
* Have a good thought life, it will help you is a stages of living
* Never be a conformist, be different

Seek out for your personal development
You are responsible for your life. The success or failure that you experience is your life business. Unless you show commitment to yourself and success, people will not be interested in your success. Until you choose to succeed, nobody will be responsible to your success. The height that you go to is your business. You are responsible for you to be better. There is a need for you to work on yourself. It is only through a dedicated process of personal development that you can discover your strength and weakness. Discovering your strength and weakness is a key step towards your personal improvement. Personal development helps to live above a level of mediocrity; a life of mediocrity is the lowest level of life. As the book points on a higher life, therefore a process of seeking personal development is an idea that must be pursue with fervency.

Never avoid mistakes, learn from mistakes.
In the book, we read that seagulls should never falter, never stall as it is a mark of disgrace and dishonour. But this is not always the case. If you don’t want to make mistakes but never try. If you never try, you will never learn. Mistake is a part of learning; we must learn from our mistakes and be willing to learn from those mistakes. We learn better from mistakes. If you avoid mistakes, you will never learn therefore the best thing you can do is to learn form those mistakes. To learn you must make mistakes. I have being afraid of trying to ride a bicycle for the fear of falling but I will never learn to ride a bicycle if I never try and if I try I will make mistake. Perfection comes from learning from the mistakes. At work, I have to write reports which initially I don’t know how to go by the format but I do it in a way that I know then submit it to my boss. My boss gets to correct me and from there I learn. It is a very important lesson that never try to avoid mistakes but learn form it.

Learning is a continuous process.
Learning is an awesome experience which brings joy if you put your mind at it. The more you learn, the more you know that you need to learn. There is so much to learn and we need to commit you to the school of learning. Information in the present age gets obsolete too soon and for you to be relevant and up to the task at all time you must keep learning. Learning has to be a lifestyle that we must develop. I have tried to learn all I can; especially reading everything that I can. I have then discovered that through the process of learning, I have become a better person because knowledge is power. I have learn to handle people better and be resourceful. The process of learning has made me have information to give to others to thereby make better people and in turn a better world. One must be willing to learn, to change and to be better.

In the face of failures and rejection, build the strength of persistence.
Failures like mistake is an integral part of life therefore we must develop a positive attitude at failures. A sense of discouragement comes with failures but to get the best out of failures discouragement must not be allow. Rejection also comes with a move for success. Such rejection could even be from your family members but you must not let such rejection prevent you from moving forward. What is needed when you are faced with failures and rejection is to develop the strength of persistence. Persistence is developing the ability to remain steady inspite of crisis and problems.
Though I have not has to face rejection but I have had to face failures in a professional course that I was taking. I had to go through three stages and at the third stage of the exams, I failed 5 times but each time I failed I built the tenacity of keeping on in order ensuring that I get to my goals.

Help others to success as you move up your success ladder.
There is a need to move from success to significance. Significance is when you affect the lives of others. Success is when you actually your goals and are moving higher. When you help others to succeed, you have moved from success to significance. A lot of people want to be like you and you should be willing to offer help to them. Helping others to succeed is a hallmark of success. Jonathan Seagull shared his success in aerobatic with other seagulls. There is a need to harness greatness out of other people; even the successful had to lean to someone at a point to get the greatness out of them before they are regarded as successful.

Have a good thought life, it will help you is a stages of living
The importance of thought can not be over emphasized it the life of a human. Of all animals we are the only ones capable of rational thinking. Thinking i.e. our thoughts affects all that we do. It forms the abundance of our heart which leads to the words we say and the actions we take. In the different stages and seasons of life, it is the type and quality of thought that will abhor in our heart that will show what we will amount to in life. Therefore we must take our though lines seriously and make conscious effort at making the best of it.

Never be a conformist, be different
Never be in the crowd. Avoid being in the band wagon. Never join the crowd to do anything, do be in the crowd. The crowd can never be correct at all times. Therefore choose to be different, never be conformed to the norms in the world especially norms of mediocrity.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Seek out for your personal development
The idea of personal development will help as it has always done to seek the higher life, to want to be better at all the things I do. I realize in the course of being better that there is more to my life than just surviving the next day, just making it through. I want to achieve the best of my life by seeking always to be better.

Also in the course of my learning and living, I want to help other people become better, teaching people the need for personal development. Through this I hope to create a better world. I believe if everyone develop themselves then we will have a better world.

Never avoid mistakes, learn from mistakes
We are brought up to never make mistakes but true learning comes from mastering skills were mistakes, from learning embedded lessons in our mistakes. Learning from failures is very important because once you learn from it, you will never make another of such mistakes and even related ones.

* Learning is a continuous process
* In the face of failures and rejection, build the strength of persistence
* Help others to success as you move up your success ladder.
* Have a good thought life, it will help you is a stages of living
* Never be a conformist, be different

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comments as to why they were important to you?

Quote 1: ‘… we can list ourselves out of ignorance, we can find ourselves as creatures of excellence and intelligence and skills, and we can be free! We can learn to fly…’
It takes personal effort and decision to get out of the shackles of ignorance. We must consciously take that effort to get out of ignorance and become people of excellence and intelligence. Freedom is borne out of a personal choice to be better.

Quote 2: ‘…who is more responsible than a gull (human) who finds and follows a meaning, a higher purpose for life than those who scrabble after fish head.’
In finding and following a higher purpose, man becomes more responsible as he chart the course for his life. He finds something to follow to spend his life and time on. At the point where he is dedicated to this higher purpose, he will therefore achieve it and be counted as successful.

Quote 3: ‘Boredom, Fear and Anger are the reasons that a gull (human)’s life is short’
Boredom fear and anger are bad thought which if any man harbor will lead to the early grave of the man. In boredom, little can be achieved as depression can set in. In fear, you can’t achieve anything because the drive to try isn’t there and the thought of failure is already in place. The thought we think affect the circumstances that affect our lives. Anger is the worst emotion and it pumps into the body system bad blood. Anger is a negative emotion which consumes the person harboring it that the person in which the anger is directed at.

Quote 4: ‘The most important thing in living was to reach out and touch perfection in that which they must loved to do and that was to fly’
In whatever you do endeavor to strive for perfection. Until you get to the point of excellence in all you do… all that you lay your hands on, it is not worth f=doing in the first place. It is therefore important to ensure that you go extra mile by adding the touch of excellence in all that you do.

Quote 5: ‘If our friendship depends on things like space and time, then when we finally overcome space and time, we’ve destroyed our own brotherhood! But overcome space and all we have left is here; overcome time and all we have left is now…’
Friendship should go beyond physical seeing to hearts of both parties being bonded together. Friendship shouldn’t be by sight alone but established even across thousand miles apart.

Quote 6: ‘You have the freedom to be yourself, your true self here and nothing can stand in your way’
The freedom to be yourself is a choice you have to make. Never allow your true self to be subordinated to anything at any cost. Strive to bring out your true self. At the point of making those decisions, you open the world of freedom to yourself, a freedom that nothing can stop you or be a barricade of your way.

Quote7: ‘Your whole body from wingtip to wingtip is nothing more than your thoughts itself, in a form you can see. Break the chains of your thought and you break the chains of your body too’
Thought affects to a large extent everything that pertains to us. A change in our thought pattern will cause a change in our lives and show the degree to which we can change our personality, the kind of circumstances that happens to us and the success of failure that we experience.

Quote 8: ‘… that the hardest thing in the world is to convince a bird (human) that he is free and that he can prove it for himself if he could just spend a little time praticising…’
Freedom comes in two dimensions: physical freedom and mental freedom. One could be in bonds physically but be mentally free and another could be mentally in bondage but physically free. It is best that one is mentally free even if physically in bondage as this will let such person to come out better.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so , why?

I understand to a large extent the information that the book conveys.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all the exercises and did you find them helpful?

There was no exercise to be completed by the reader in the book.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

Quote that’ True leadership is when you have a good successor.
Leadership is in raising other leaders. Great leaders reproduce themselves in others and experience the law of multiplication. Your leadership strength is in the numbers and quality of other leaders that you can make.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 5
B. How helpful were the contents? 6
C. How easy was it to understand? 6
D. Would you recommend it to others? 7
E. What is the overall rating you would give it 6

Psycho-Cybernetics 2000
Assessment by Oluwaseyifunmi Adebisi (Nigeria)

1. What is the main Idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book is an improvement of an older version by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. In this book, Dr Bobbe Sommer seeks to explain the idea of cybernetics while making it applicable in the new century. Dr. Bobbe herself experienced the power of cybernetics whose central theme is to improve the self image of the individual. It was established that the level of success that we experience is based on our self image. How you see yourself matters a lot and will affect the kind of successes and failure you will experience. It states that behavioral change comes after a change in the self image. The power of this idea lies in the notion that each of us is capable of taking control of our self image and programming our automatic guidance system for success. You need to have a healthy self image as a strategy for empowerment of individuals.

Self Esteem is appreciating one won worth and importance and having the character to be accountable for myself and to act responsibly towards others. Man act in a way that is consistent with our self image. The book points out how you will develop a self image that you are comfort with, with an accompanying feeling of security, self confidence and ability to express yourself to others without any fear. Building a positive self image is a step towards success.

2. What were the seven ideas which are personally most important to you and why? List the seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

1. The Craft Principle
2. The Imagination Principle
3. The Relaxation Principle
4. The Seeds Principle
5. The Concept of Success
6. The Concept of Failure
7. Glitches free Personality

i) CRAFT principle for reprogramming (C Cancel R Replace A Affirm F Focus T Train)

This principle explains a process of reprogramming your mind to believe otherwise what the poor self image dictates to you.

Firstly, Cancel. Each time you find yourself thinking the negative thought, you say aloud CANCEL. This CANCEL reminds me of anytime I am down that I tell myself sweet things and after few minutes I begin to fell better. If I tell myself verbally that I can do it then I will regardless of what my mind says.

Secondly, REPLACE what you have cancel with new positive data, after you have cancelled the old bad thought you should replace it with another words which suggest that you can do that thing or which negate the thought that the poor self image suggests. This reaffirmation could be repeated several times daily.

Thirdly, AFFIRM your new image to yourself. In improving your self image, that area in which you have cancelled and replace. Write down your new state in that area on a paper/ card and place it where you will always see it. You could carry it in your wallet and each time you see it you read aloud for your subconscious to pick and work on.

Fourthly, focus on an image of successful YOU, you need to create a picture of you that is successful in that area. I have being struggle with waking up at 4 am daily, in spite of the challenges I have a picture in my head of me who wakes up at 4am, do all she has to and is happy with it.

Lastly, Train yourself for lasting change. You need to do the things that will help you master the change you need. For me to wake up at 4 am I started using the alarm to wake me up and I try to stand up at the beep of the alarm irrespective of how tired I am feeling. I am consciously practicing that early bird thing.

ii) The Imagination thing: This is separating yourself for a time to focus and build an imagination of the future. The imagination of something you want and how you want it to be. I have used this idea in the past without recognizing it as such. To stay Fidel in my relationship and committed to the relationship, I have always pictured our future together in my mind and the pictures has become something that gives me confidence that we will make it through all the challenges and have our desired future together. I intend to use this idea more now by setting a time apart daily. This will help alongside the 4am wake up time.

iii) Relaxation: This principle taught that when you are relaxed, your mind is capable of accelerated learning and memorizing. I experienced a writer’s block at a point when I was supposed to write an article for a publication. As deadline came and passed I became apprehensive, wondering if I won’t mess up. I also had to cope with the pressure of work. Until one day, I got into a relax mode watch some movies, did a dance before I slept for some time. When I woke up, I was relaxed and I just picked up my paper and got down a major part of the article. What I think cause the problem more was worrying about so many things. The state of worrying inhibits the right brain to work as it should. Relaxation helps you to free your mind and allow for creativity and problem solving. I practiced the Zen breathing with the left nostril and it help me relax, taking me away from the worrying I had at hand.

iv) The SEEDS principle: S Situation E Evaluation E Emotions D Do S Self Esteem
Like other concept in the book this is a practical one to help you overcome situations that could draw you down and weaken your self esteem, situation that makes you angry or frustrated.

S Situation: We are faced with several situations that may get you worried or out of place; you should consider the situation neutral. Don’t make it look bigger than usual, don’t personalize the situation, consider it that it could happen to anyone.

E Evaluation, Evaluate the situation to know who is to blame or whose problem it is.

E Emotions: Move the emotions of being sad to evaluating the situation. While evaluating the situation to find a way out of it rather than just keeping you down.
Do something about the situation: Never allow the situation to weigh you down, you must take action. Instead of just reacting to the situation, act upon the situation. Do something about correcting the situation.

S Self Esteem: After you have consciously put yourself through the last four steps, you have then developed your self esteem. Your self esteem is boosted as you are now in control of the situation not at its mercy.

Applying the SEEDS principles will help you to overcome helplessness and come in control of the situation.

v) THE CONCEPT OF SUCCESS. The author use SUCCESS as an acronym. Looking at the meaning of each of the letters, sense of direction, understanding, courage, charity, esteem, self confidence and self acceptance. Without a sense of direction you will not go any where but remain static or deteriorate, it is therefore needful to have a direction which is where the place of goals comes in. Anytime I don’t have anything deliberately planned out to be done I tend not to do anything thereby achieving nothing. Understanding is critical in human existence. You cannot be regarded as successful until you are able to live peacefully with other people. There is a need for individuals to develop their interpersonal skills. Stephen covey says you should seek to understand before you try to make yourself understood. Strive to understand other people, see things from their eyes, show respect and learn to listen. I have developed these understanding things over time, as I tend to allow people explain themselves so I can understand them and I have learnt o be patient with people and care genuinely. Courage is needed in life to survival. Until you are willing to change because the world is changing, you will become obsolete useless and irrelevant. Be willing to take risk it is very important. The success you will experience is in directly proportion to the risks you are willing to take. Be brave, the situation will not consume you if you stand up to it. Those that do nothing ends up to be nothing and those that do something become something. Charity is basically respected for others and the issue of esteem is paramount in the success quotient. If you don’t believe in yourself how will other people believe in you? In order for you to achieve your goals you must be self confidence all the way… believe you can and you will. Accept yourself the way you are, self comparison will only leave you in self pity and non achievement.

This concept of success is all encompassing and gives a broader perspective. It helps to remove the notion that success is merely material and personal what you can do for yourself alone, which is not what success is about.

vi The Concept of FAILURE: This concept pointed out that failure is a process not an event, we can therefore overcome the process by recognizing the signals it sends and make correction immediately. FAILURE means Frustration, Aggressiveness, Insecurity, Loneliness, Uncertainty, Resentment and Emptiness.

This concept got to explain each of the words as warning signals which we must look out for to avoid failure. The concept of emptiness catches my attention well as I have used it to nothing a void in me and tried to see how I can fill the void which has lead to what I can call success. Anytime we feel something is amiss, we should concentrate within. Aggressiveness is also a state I have experience, a state of unnecessary apprehensiveness and disorganization. You are angry at people for no reason or reason that are not realistic. We must look out of life critically and remove those glitches.

vii. Keeping a Glitch Free Personality: I personally like the idea because it helps you to overcome the emotional wounds that are part of life. The practice of feeling too big to be threatened has made me face any circumstances without fear. It tells me that I can face anything even the worst of it all. I feel larger than any situation and I will not allow any situation to take it tolls on me. The attitude of self reliance is a possibility attitude and total belief in the inner capacity. I seem to have a low energy body but each time I decide to push extra they I will get extra. This comes when I become self reliant. I have learnt the habit of relaxation even when I was angry two days back I used relaxation to get myself out of the mess. I appreciate myself as a spiritual being, able to connect to God through faith and the help of the Holy Spirit and having an unbroken fellowship with God. Giving myself to others have brought me the greatest joy I have ever experience through my training session, where my words help others to become great, relieving them of stress and helping them move higher, aiming higher and going places. I enjoy seeing the success of others through my help.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

I have written down the ideas in this book each I want to practice and use and after I use them, I will be creating training programs out of it and even all the books I will be reading in the course of this program. I will create a better world by teaching others things that will help them be better.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comments as to why they were important to you?

Quote 1: ‘… If we watch limits instead of destinations, we bump up against those limits…’ It is where you are focused on that you reach, therefore if you focus on limitations, you will be limited. By focusing on your destinations, the conscious communicated with the subconscious on the need to get to that destination and the subconscious mind begins to look for several means to get to the destination. Focusing on limits inhibits your mind to produce ideas but once you can free your mind to see the destination; you will therefore get to the destination. I find this quote very useful.

Quote 2: ‘… Anything that has been learned can be reevaluated and challenged. Anything that has been challenged can be relearned with new data to replace the old.’ I once read a book that stated the need for use to be willing to change our mindset at every point in it. In this new century, knowledge and information get obsolete very quickly, therefore if you depend on what you have know five years ago, you may be tending towards irrelevance. Knowledge is constantly being challenged everyday to produce higher dimension of it. New data are available to replace the old one. In spite of the changes in the nature of the data, the major problem faced now is humans are not willing to challenge their knowledge and until you challenge your knowledge, you may not go higher in the knowledge and you lose your relevance.

Quote 3: ‘You act and feel not according to what things are really like but according to the image your mind holds of what they are like.’ Our realities are based on our mind set. The picture in our hearts matters a lot in us interpreting the situations we face. John Maxwell says the life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react to the things that happen to us. Our reaction is what largely determines what happens to us. It is your reaction that matters. The place of positive thinking therefore matters a lot: see the situation as possible and it will be, see it as negative and it will be. The Bible even says it will be unto you according to your faith.

Quote 4: ‘What you believe conditions what you can do’… If you say I CAN then YOU CAN and vice versa. It is your believe that determines what you can do and what you believe. This book as focused on our belief system through developing high self esteem. People have conditioned themselves through their thought to mediocrity and some have also used their thought and belief to push themselves to greatness. With a healthy self esteem, you believe anything is possible and you can achieve anything therefore.

Quote 5: ‘Our errors, mistakes, failures and sometimes even our humiliations were necessary steps in the learning process. However they were meant to be means to an end and not an end in themselves. When they have served their purpose, they should be forgotten.’ In my little sojourn in life, I have found that even the genius make mistakes, pass through failure, they are humiliated by others for their ingenuity but for the great ones they use it as a steeping stone to greatness. From this quote I remember Albert Einstein when asked about the bulb invention and the failures he had before getting the success; he said in the process of the failures, he has found 999 ways of not making a bulb. Problems and challenges are not ends in themselves but they are meant to help us learn ways in which success is possible. If problems, errors, mistakes and challenges are part of life and are passing things, I don’t see any reason why we should therefore personalize them as though they are end points. They are never so.

Quote 6: ‘The time to worry about a decision is before you make it.’ Worrying should be done before a decision is made. Once the decision is made, we only have the consequences of the decision to contend with. Before a decision is made we make carefully consider the outcome of such decisions and be willing to live by it. I even say instead of worrying about a decision we should engage in strategic thinking so we can make the best decision and good consequences comes our way.

Quote7: ‘if you don’t know what you want, you are guaranteed not to get it. It is the know that makes you get it. The world makes a way for a man that knows where he is going. Knowing precedes getting. This quote gets at me to know what I want and where I want to be. I am about to getting a job that I have desired for over 3 years but am getting it because over time I know what I want and am willing to go all the way to get it. If I don’t know I can’t get it.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so , why?

I understand to a large extent the information that the book conveys.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, several of them

1. Identify your false beliefs
This exercise helps me identify the menace of procrastination and the feeling of helplessness in trying to overcome procrastination. I also help me recognize how I got my fairly good self esteem as a child that felt wanted and intelligent as affirmed by people around me. I didn’t get to feel les until I got into secondary school in my first three years when I wasn’t top in my class until my primary school days.

2. Stress Evaluation Test
This test will help you know what is really making you stress, worn out and depressed. By taking the test points out the reality of our test. Upon taking the test, I discover that some worries are mere fantasizing and a times things you can’ do anything about. The test helps me point out that some things (few) require our immediate attention and we must focus on those things. It also reminds me of the quote ‘focus on the things you can change and not on what you cannot change, because it is what you focus on that will be magnified.

3. The Questionnaire on Procrastination. This questionnaire help me to look if I have the fear of failure or fear of success and found out that the fear of failing is something that I feel is a problem is some areas. Because I don’t want to fail then I refuse to try. Then I have failed because I never gave it a shot to even try if I could make it. I tied the solution given about using the CRAFT principle it worked and I have being getting to my duties well.
All these exercises amongst others.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

1. ‘What if’ and ‘So What if’
This is shifting your subconscious mind away from anxiety and towards control. Whenever there is anxiety and situations want to keep you do, tell yourself so what if. Then you will start to think possibility instead of helplessness.

2. The idea of fear of failure and fear of success resulting to procrastination. We fear to fail and we fail to try and until you try you can’t succeed therefore. Fear of failure is useless. Fear of stardom could also keep one to procrastination but I say success is fun, don’t deny yourself of that experience.

Rating
A. How interesting was it to read? 6
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 6
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it?

 

 

Success through a Positive Mental Attitude
Assessment by Oluwaseyifunmi Adebisi (Nigeria)

1. What is the main Idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The authors of the book teach in the book the need to have a mental attitude or mindset, as I will call it that is positive in all things. We understand that our lives attracts what our minds think therefore the outcome or whatever it is that happens to man is directly proportional to the kind of thought and attitude such person has.

It explains that there is a possibility of two types of mindset or attitudes, the positive and the negative. In every situation, there is a choice by the person involved to take either the positive or the negative mental attitude. Each mental attitude has it consequences. The positive mental attitude attracts the good and beautiful while the negative brings disappointment and failure.
Success is a mindset. Some of us blame our ill luck on God but in actually fact, it is us who have not desire enough success mindset to be able to attract the success that we desire. If you desire anything create the mindset for it and you will achieve it.

This book teaches you how to control the circumstances of you life with the kind of mental attitude that you carry. You can always bring things to past by just harness it with your mind.

2. What were the seven ideas which are personally most important to you and why? List the seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

* Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you do not want.
* Every adversity has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit for those who have PMA
* Develop inspirational dissatisfaction
* If a man is right, his world will be right.
* The something More
* Do IT Now
* Motivating Others

Keep your mind on the things you want and off the things you do not want.
The mind of a man is like a magnet it attract any kind of thought that passes through it. Thus if you do not want to attract failure stop dwelling on it. There are times I have settled transport fares in my mind before taking cabs and I end up paying what I have settled in my mind. I put my mind to it and I get it. If I had dwelled on the wrong things, I would have attracted it into my life.

Every adversity has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit for those who have PMA.
The difficulties of life offer the opportunity for greatness. If you do not align yourself with the truth of life, you will become easily downcast by the failures and obstacles that life offers. I have learnt that failure is a good thing if you have the right attitude. It helps you develop yourself to endure the hardship of life. Learning from the school of hard knocks is fantastic. Its worth a lot.

Develop inspirational dissatisfaction
Man can only get what it seeks after. We only seek after things when we want it or are dissatisfied about it. Dissatisfaction drives away complacency, which kills progress and development in the life of a human. I am never satisfied, I do not mean not contended but I seek for more always because I know there is more to be achieved. Nothing is in its perfect stage…there is always a room for improvement. I look for this room and this has made me better and better always.

If a man is right, his world will be right.
Your mental attitude matters a lot. It determines how things will work out for you. If you have the right attitude, you will naturally attract the good things of life. If you are right, your world will be right because you are the one that shapes your world. Your world is what you make of it nothing else.

The Something More
This idea is important to me as I read it because it taught me of the need to go the extra mile especially in the face of adversity. The distance between failure and success is the something more. Therefore, to get to the place of success I will have to offer that something more. I have decided to go back to places I have failed and offer the something more and I know I will experience success.

Do It Now!
When this suggestion ‘DO IT NOW’ is continentally in your face. It helps you to achieve things faster. This idea is particularly good for me as I tend to. This will lead to uncompleted projects and dissatisfaction. Addressing this procrastination with DO IT NOW helps me get more things achieved. In addition, the suggestion do it now helps you build up the needed energy to carry out a task. It has helped me build energy for tasks that I have previously not being motivated to do.

Motivate Others
I just read a part of Jack Welch’s book winning that talked about leadership. In the book, the author says that your success before you become a leader is based on your personal achievement but once you become a leader, your success will be measured in terms of the success your followers or team members have. I now understand that in spite of good coordinating skills, good interpersonal relations and competency, a leader should be able to motivate others. The book stated the issue of confidence. I used it in a small team I just happen to be there leader and it has been producing awesome results.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Reading this book has being a source of blessing to me. A practical situation was when my digital camera was stolen.

I was down but I remember everything I had read in the book. Success with PMA says in any situation you should maintain a positive mental attitude with prayers. In this situation, I did just that. I maintain a positive attitude that I was going to find the camera and I kept on praying to God that I was going to find it. I remembered several testimonies of God working in diverse ways. I kept on quoting scriptures like am a tither; therefore, the devourer cannot attack me. Finally, a search was conducted and the least person I expected took the phone. This success was based on two things, god answering my prayers and a positive mental attitude.

The Notepad and the Pencil
I was particularly inspired by the story told by Napoleon Hill of Mr. Letourneau who wrote down something in his sleep which was something that he needed. I have had various ideas at different place a times the unusual places. Some of these ideas I have lost from not writing it down. I consider this story helpful as I use it now. At least I now keep a record of ideas that flow through my mind and latter look at it to work on them. I believe if I keep this record, my winning ideas will come from that means and I will not loss it. When I work on the ideas that flow through my mind daily, as I will not loss it because the ideas are written down, I will create a better world with job opportunity and sustainable development.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements, which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comments as to why they were important to you?

Quote 1: ‘….Everyone has some creative ability but most people haven’t learned to use it.
We all have brains, which have the same components. Thus, we all have the creative ability but the issues are with finding the creative ability and using that. This is the point of human deficiency. We are okay with the normal and obvious. The creative ability comes when you want the extra, things that are not obvious. Man should look beyond the ordinary and look within for the extraordinary.

Quote 2: ‘…It is better for people to do something and pay nothing than to pay dues and do nothing.

Everyone seeks values especially for their money. This means that when someone pays for something the person should get the best for it. When money is attached to something, the value of the things must be commensurate with the money paid. I have also discovered that when values are offered the money will eventually be attracted.

Quote 3: ‘Active faith steps out on its belief and risks failure because it assumes it will succeed.
Faith without action is useless. Faith with action will definitely produces positive results. Faith is not the absence of faith but the willingness never to accept the obvious and seek the desired results amidst of all obstacles.

Quote 4: ‘The emotions are not immediately subject to reason but they are always immediately subject to action. The action could be physical or mental. Man is a product of habits whether physical or mental. Our emotions could seem overriding nut they are subjected to definite action, which we must choose to take.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I understand to a large extent the information that the book conveys.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all the exercises and did you find them helpful?

There was no exercise to be completed by the reader in the book.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

None

Rating

1. How interesting was it to read?
2. How helpful were the contents?
3. How easy was it to understand?
4. Would you recommend it to others?
5. What is the overall rating you would give it?

 

 

Keys to Success
Assessment by Oluwaseyifunmi Adebisi (Nigeria)

1. What is the main Idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book teaches seventeen keys which can be used to unlock the doors of success. Success is a process and there are some things that need to be done to get success. This book offers those things that need to be done to get success. The book seeks to explain the seventeen keys with various things that accompanies the keys.

The seventeen keys were product of Napoleon Hills study of successful men and women in his times while he tries to distill factors which made them success amidst of the wide spread failures recorded in the world. This principles have been used by men after the author discovered it and it is been proven again to be true.

In the course of reading the book I have found out that it makes common sense and it is practical. The book provides you will process on how you can get yourself to greater height and record success.

The Keys are all encompassing focusing on the different aspect of success and not mere financial or material success. It ranges from goal setting, goal implementation, developing positive attitude, giving extra at all times, use of network and synergy, self discipline, creativity, team work, financial planning, maintaining good health and believing in God.

2. What were the seven ideas which are personally most important to you and why? List the seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. Controlling your Enthusiasm
It is inevitable for man to be faced with challenges in life but to succeed and get out it you must develop enthusiasm which will help you convert the negative situations to the right ones has you develop interest to make it out of the challenges at all cost. Developing enthusiasm will help you think about such negative situation and you will be able to see things in a better light than usual. Understanding that enthusiasm needs to be controlled so it doesn’t lead to mere talking or energy without work. I understand that if it is uncontrolled it could inhibit good relationship with people as I may not pay attention to them but to myself alone. Developing enthusiasm comes after having a plan and you are willing to work daily at the goals. Beyond working also, when you are faced with challenges regarding your plans, you must ensure that you don’t lose hope or drive but be willing to continue in that light till your goal is achieved. We must enthusiastic, confident and happy all the time. Enthusiasm is contagious and it will affect all that you do. Whatever we do in life that is not backed with enthusiasm will not last and cannot be perfect. One shouldn’t be enthusiastic about everything; it is dangerous for focus purpose.

ii. Self control
It is the act of balancing your emotions with your reasoning. Never allowing any one to overtake the other. Emotions without reason is a dreadful enemy, always seek for a balance between both. I found the Big Four very useful. There is a need for man to control his appetite for food, drink or anything. Like it is said too much of anything is bad. Too much of food could be hazardous for the body, it takes a lot to get food through the digestive system, and times allow your body to rest. The need to control the mind can never be overemphasized. The control of time is importance. Your time is your lifetime and if you choose to waste it then it is up to you to decide. Your time is what you have to give in exchange for anything you want to get out of life. You must therefore control how you use it and who you give it to. Lately, I have seem a need to control myself in terms of eating, I don’t each much but a lot of biscuit and am working at it to ensure I eat proper food and not mere flour.

iii. The Four Things you can’t discipline.
There are four things that a man cannot discipline and we must recognize it and learn to use their controlling power to our favour. The four things are Infinite Intelligence, The subconscious, telepathy and the senses.

Reading this book has opened my mind to this idea and I will always remember it. For me what this book refers to as Infinite Intelligence to me means God and no one can control God but He controls all things. What man should do is align himself with God and allow for Him to lead while we follow. Our subconscious we cannot discipline but we can feed it with good things so I can run in a positive manner. This is possible through the control of our mind. The idea of telepathy is beautiful, knowing that my mental attitude can affect others therefore if I want others to develop a positive mental attitude then I should broadcast such attitude. My mental attitude affects that of other people.

iv. A Synergetic Alliance
The mastermind is a great alliance, going by the bible that one will kill a thousand but two shall kill ten thousand. This let us understand the multiplier effect that works with the mastermind. You have an alliance that is committed to the success of the project not only you then you can tap into the resources, expertise, experiences and network of all the people in the master mind. I found this idea very good although I have trying to find people with which I can form a mastermind alliance with now. If intend to form mastermind alliance for the different project I want to handle while using the steps enumerated in the book.

v. Learning from Defeat: Defeat should be accepted merely as a test which permits you to discover the nature of your thoughts and their relation to your definite major purpose. This will help you look at defeat from another perspective. When you can identify your faults and mistakes, you will know how to do it better, you won’t make such mistake again forever. Learn from those situations that tend to put you down. When you are defeated and you look critically to look into the problem you will learn a lot to help you through. Some defeat are results of habits and lifestyle, therefore if you can see the lifestyle, habits and characters that has lead to you defeats then you can take correction and will never be defeated again at least not by the same thing that led to the first defeat. Defeat should be seen as an opportunity to try again in a better way with confidence and determination.

vi. Use of Cosmic Habit force: Man is a product of the habits he forms. Is therefore pleasant to know that he can change the habit anytime he wants to. To change the direction of your life, you must change your habits. Habits are what you do frequently without even thinking about it. Habits shape our life. The cosmic habit force tells you not to complain about your habits but if you want to change it you should work at changing it deliberately. The three essentials of cosmic habit force tell you how to change your habits. Plasticity says that habit change is possible and this you must believe. If you don’t believe it is possible you can not put your mind to work at it. Frequency of Impression tells you that the new habit must be practiced frequently so you can adopt it into your subconscious mind. Repetition is important in changing your habit and lastly, the intensity of the impression is how you are criticizing the new habit, are you giving yourself a good impression about the habit or not. These three things will largely influence you changing your habit and changing your life.

vii. Developing a positive mental attitude
The only thing you have control over is your thought and if you don’t exercise your control over it, the ideas and suggestions of other people will help you control your mind. Developing a positive mental attitude is opening your mind to success factors and close the mind to failure, you must believe that anything is possible, have a plan and work your plan. You must understand that whatever happens to you is your fault. If you are angry, it is because someone induced it but because you have allowed yourself to be angry. Don’t leave yourself to the control of other people. You must develop good habits to have a positive mental attitude. Your habits are the weaves upon which your future is built. Believe in possibilities… anything is possible if you believe and you are willing to work toward seeing the possibilities… You should avoid negative associates; their mindset could rob off on you and destroy what you are trying to build for yourself.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Accurate thinking
There is a need to scrutinize any information we get before using it. A time I tend to depend on the information from newspapers and the likes but I have found out they are overrating especially in issues of scandals. To avoid getting into trouble from using the wrong information we must dig deeper always. Also in getting people opinions, allow them speak what is on their mind by no interfering with the information they have to offer you. I now understand that I should carefully analyze any thought I want to consider for my use or adoption, I must make my mind have an eternal question mark.

I also learnt not to allow myself fall into the mistakes of credulousness where I believe anything and a tendency to disbelieve anything that I can’t understand. If I can’t understand it that should be the reason why I should seek it out until I can find a meaning. Because ei don’t understand a thing doesn’t mean it is not possible. Before I believe anything I must give it a second though which should be careful else my thought will be wrong.

Definite of purpose
The mind can work on anything it can conceive. Success therefore depends on the conceiving factor. The importance of this key cannot be overemphasis. It leads to expertise, which people are willing to pay for. I t helps you to allocate your time and resources properly to ensure the achievement of your goal. It increases your faith in yourself and in achieving your goal, you become self confidence. It also makes you alert to opportunities which are available in your area of focus. Definite of purpose allow you enjoy the rewards of focus which is majorly good success.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comments as to why they were important to you?

Quote 1: ‘… There are two types of people who never amount to anything. There are those who never do anything except what they are told to do and there are those who cannot even do what they are told to do.

The people who get ahead do the things that should be done without being told and they don’t stop there, they go the extra mile and do much more than are expected of them.

This quote is a powerful one and it strikes me as it points out that our success depends largely on our personal initiative. You must be willing to do the extra always and I know after a while you will be paid for doing the extra.

Quote 2: ‘…Nature abhors two things: a vacuum and idleness

In this present age it is bad to be idle or be vacuum. I will deal mainly with the idleness. You won’t move forward if you are always idle. Idleness leads to poverty. If you don’t find something doing, you will amount to nothing. Then you can’t blame anyone for your misfortune, you brought it upon yourself. I hate idle people, I fall sick when I have nothing to do. I like this quote and I hope to share it with others.

Quote 3: ‘The more enthusiasm you direct into the world, the better you are preparing yourself to attain exactly what you want’

You attract what you are enthusiastic about. You release you mind to pick ideas in that direction but if you are not enthusiastic about anything then you will get nothing. The mind attracts ideas

Quote 4: ‘Wasting time is sinful…

Time is the most important resources that God has given man for him to achieve purpose and destiny and if you choose to waste it by not using it right then you are telling god he is stupid to have given you the time. It is a sin to waste time. It is precious and valuable. It is event he human lifetime, wasting it is like committing murder. I place a lot of premium on how I spent my time and am quick to scold myself for any wrong use.

Quote 5: ‘the objects on which you deliberately concentrate your attention become the dominating influences in your environment.

I have dominated my mind with some ideas in the past and it has lead to result in such areas. I subscribe fully to the quote.

Quote 6: ‘People will work harder for personal recognition and a word of commendation where it is deserved than they will for money alone.

For me, I realized that money is not my primary motivation factor; I love to be recognized as valuable and with worth. The job I am on now, if not for the fact that they are bills to pay, I could work for free. I love my job and my boss appreciates the work that I do.

Quote7: ‘when you have creative vision, you know that you can succeed only by helping others to succeed.’

Every product is meant to met the needs of others and bring them joy. If the products don’t serve their purpose, the both parties will not be happy. The success of an entrepreneur is when goods are or services are regularly purchasing. Purchases come when they can satisfy the needs of the people. I like the quote.

Quote 8: ‘… your past failures are what make success sweet.

When you have experience failure and afterwards success, you will always cherish the success feeling. Then you will know what it feels like to be a failure and will appreciate the opportunity of success more.

Quote 9:’ two of the greatest destructive forces in the human mind are fear and its close partner, anxiety. They kill enthusiasm, destroy faith, blind vision, and blunt creative effort and dispel harmony and peace of mind.

Fear destroy your creative faculty and reduces you to a living corpse so is anxiety. If you can overcome fear with faith, you believe you can and your mind will start to work on the CAN spirit. You will therefore get done what you need as ideas start flowing in your direction.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

There is nothing in the book that I don’t understand.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes and they were helpful. I like the thought provoking question under budgeting of time and money

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

None

Ratings:

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

 

 

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Assessment by Oluwaseyifunmi Adebisi (Nigeria)

1. What is the main Idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book is a fundamental book in the management of human relations. It lends itself to practical simples on how we can improve the relationship with people. This book is important because of the imperativeness of having to deal with people everyday of our lives either has a clerk, an office attendant, a sales manager, a branch or departmental store manager, a mother or the CEO of a conglomerate. Everyone needs to master the skills of human relations. The human relations skills are expedient beyond the realms of the workplace. The mother must lead and manage her 3 year old son as well as the teenager daughter and her spouse in any case.

The book reveals some basic truth about the inherence of the human nature as helps us understand that human relations skills is perhaps the most priced skill anyone can have. Perhaps the reason why Charles Schwab was the highest paid executive of his time (an example in the book).

This book put forward principles and practices which connect to the human nature as against the deficient humanistic tendency to criticize, complain and condemn rather than appreciate and encourage.

As the title of the book suggest, issues relating with making people like you, making friends and the art of influencing people. Aside from my IIGL curriculum requiring me to read the book, I was eager to learn the principle outlined in the book. This is because I intend to improve my networking skills which I can attest a deficiency in. By the end of the book, I have practical things I can do achieve the goals of an improved networks.

I intend to put to practice things principle which I just used tonight on a neighbor. Just a brief chat with him, he kept talking to me to the extent of offering me assistance in an area I dint even ask of and he was so willing. So interest in people and they will be willing to go the extra mile for you.

2. What were the seven ideas which are personally most important to you and why? List the seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

1. Names

2. Talking about your own mistake first

3. The Secret of Socrates

4. Difference between Appreciation and Flattery

5. The Inherent Human craving to be great appreciated and respected.

6. Letting others talks about themselves

7. Avoiding argument.

Names

I found myself a good example for this lesson. I love my name…OLUWASEYIFUNMI. If you ever require appeasing me, learn a proper pronunciation and use it. Friends, colleagues and associate understand is how important it is to me even my Boss. If he needs to get me to do something irregular, he will pronounce my name well and in full. Now if this applies to me, they it is to other people. I heard of a journalist who has to face the wrought of a very important person as a result of improper pronunciation of his names. The example cited in the book is not overemphasized. It is the simple truth. I recently met an old friend in a park and after 12 years he did remember my name. That one single act makes me want to rekindle our friendship…just my name nothing else. It is a careless act to forget the names of people. It shows you don’t care and if people sense that you don’t care… you have successfully lost them. To my friend, I feel greatly indebted to him to rebuild our friendship.

Talking about your own mistake first

We all make mistakes and it will be rather unfair and insensitive to not admit our mistake. I think only a man of strength can admit to his subordinate that he is sometimes a jerk. It will be a good idea that the next time you want to correct somebody of a mistake, share the experience of your mistake. This paves a relaxing and welcoming attitude for the person you intend to correct. It shows to the person you want to correct that you have experience and has overcome such weakness the person is currently experiencing. It shows correction with love and a room of support the person has to overcome weakness.

As I write, I am making a presentation tomorrow to my youth fellowship to address the downturn of the fellowship. Both the members of the fellowship and the executives are responsible. But I intend to state my mistakes so everybody knows that I am not the saint and not willing to blame anybody. It will be easier for everyone to admit their mistakes and correct them without resentment.

The Secret of Socrates

Prior to reading the book, I had knowledge of the Socrates nature of questioning as an inquiry process to get wisdom and how he is regarded as a ‘Wise Man’. I had always admires this method and use it. With reading this book, I recognize a way of doing the questioning. I understand it is not mere questioning but right questioning. Asking question to get the ‘Yes Yes’ response. And with ‘Yes’ you create a soft lading for yourself and people agreeing with you because they understand you are on their side. I learnt to craft my questions to make a positive and favorable response. It creates a cordial relationship and a ground where influence is possible. Questions that trigger negative response will get the person to be defensive.

Difference between Appreciation and Flattery

Appreciation is an act of recognizing the good in somebody and telling the person but you like the attribute the person possess while flattery is saying what does not exist in a person and magnify such falsehood. Appreciation is pure without any motive which is not the case of flattery. Flattery is done to get favour of advantage of the person flattered. Appreciation is Sincere while flattery is not. People can discern between the two issues and tend to appreciate the person that appreciate and disregard the person that flatters. For me, I always want to check my statements and assertion to ensure I am giving appreciation rather than flattery.

The Inherent Human Craving to be Great, Appreciated and Respected

Humans want to feel important and this nature makes that always seek and improve under it. Nobody likes to be failures and there are. I traces of greatness in each and every individual. People thrive under praise and shrink under criticism.

Letting others talks about themselves.

Letting people talk about themselves help them to feel important has they are given a room to be heard and loved. Allowing people talk shows that you respect and value them. If you listen to others it shows you care and gives you an avenue to build relationship with the person.

Avoid Argument.

‘You can’t win an argument, you can’t because if you lose it, you lose and if you win it, you lose.’ This was a stark truth in my face, I wish I could jump it over but it was just there. You can win an argument. When you get into an argument, you create a barricade for common ground. It becomes a contest and everyone wants to win. Therefore, when you win in an argument, you lose the other person because you are now on opposing sides. When you lose, you still aren’t on a friendly position with the person. It is a truth, human needs to understand.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

I decided to take some days after reading the book before I write my report in order to see if I will have anything to say on a practical sense. I just resumed back to work after a two weeks break and decided to use some of the techniques given by the book. Two things I have applied in the past two days at work are smile and generating genuine interest in others.

I notices that as I smile more which has not being the case for my excuse that; I had too much on my mind’; people have responded to that smile and it has had great effect on me especially as strangers takes pleasure in greeting me first and I flash the sparkles of my smile. I will be sticking to the SMILE. I once again remember going to a large supermarket with my mentor and she picked what she wanted and we got the stress-out, not smiling cashier who was worked by the rush on a typical public holiday in Lagos. The cashier had a frown but my mentor kept smiling at him. The response initially was blank but by the 4th smile the cashier didn’t have any option but to smile back. THE POWER OF THE SMILE.

Secondly, I want to leave myself more and be interested in others. I have been weighted down by my issues but after this book, I decided to take more interest in others. Just one interest in a neighbor, I got a favor I never asked for. As I left that neighbor, I imagine a lot of opportunities that could be lost as a result of not showing interest. It dones on me more that you care about them and you have them caring about you. I intend to use this more in my daily relations with people.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comments as to why they were important to you?

Quote 1: ‘… It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points…’

The person you intend to scold will be in a relax mood and less defensive. Also the feeling of appreciation is first in the mind of the person. Such person understands that you are not merely castigating him rather you are pointing out a weakness you would want the person to work on not mock the person. Therefore, it is better to begin with a praise and honest appreciation if you will need to criticize somebody. Everybody has a good side that you can point to.

Quote 2: ‘… It isn’t nearly so difficult to listen to a recital of your faults if the person criticizing begins by humbly admitting that he too is far from impeachable. ..’

I will listen to your faults well and will be more willing to accept the correction of someone who has been there. Humility can be seen and felt and it is always respected. Pointing out your own mistake is a humbly act and you will be respected for it. You can then be able to influence such person. Influence is subtle.

Quote 3: ‘I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.’

What you think of a man is not what makes him rather what he thinks of himself. Opinions are opinions and shall always remain as opinions. Your opinion of a man may be erroneous so you cannot afford to let that opinion be the making of the man. It is hurting and may be a major mark in a man lives to make him fell worthless. I just watched a movie where a poor castigated young girl was encouraged by a stranger and that was the major mark and a driving focus for this young girl. Imagine if the stranger had talked down on her, she would have amounted to notice less. Help a man discover who he has and influence him to hold a positive opinion of himself. It will go a long way.

Quote 4: ‘If you and I will inspire the people with whom we come in contact to a realization of the hidden treasures they possess, we can do far more that change people, we can literally transform them..’.

A lot of people are operating at below par. We are not living a premium life merely on or below average. There is a need for a change but this quote pointed out that there can be a transformation. A sharp beautiful contrast. We can transform people’s life by helping them discover the hidden treasures. Well, that is the responsibility of leaders. I intend to live a mark in the lives of people I meet.

Quote 5: ‘If one aspire to wear the captain’s cap and navigate the ship of business: personality and the ability to talk are more important that a knowledge of Latin verbs or a sheepskin from Harvard. ‘

Your personality influences to a large extent the way you can affect the lives of people. People will respect you for your technical knowhow but the total effect and responsibility of influence rest on your personality. You must have a welcoming personality with attitude to tolerate others and make them good. The ability to talk is the true essence of communication. When you cannot communicate effectively, there is a lid on your leadership ability.

Quote 6: ‘The ability to speak is a shortcut to distinction. It puts a person in a limelight; make one head and shoulders above the crowd. The person who can speak acceptably is usually given credit for an ability out of all proportion to what he or she really possess’

A television shows in Nigeria as a payoff ‘Oratory is the Power to Change’. This quote perfectly states the important of the spoken words. How magical, prestigious and scare it is. That he who possess it will be magnified. The ability to communicate is a major deficiency in human in spite of the endowments will have. Communication is by itself an essential of life. So in the midst of the disability in communication whoever possesses mastery in it is celebrate. Learning the act of speaking should not be left to leaders. Everyone needs such skills.

Quote7: ‘The way to develop self confidence is to do the things that you fear to do and get a reward of successful experience behind you’.

This quote helps me remember the innate ability we have has human which we have mostly refused to tap into. That which we fear in most cases is not something we cannot do but in most cases we have crippled our ability and thinking faculty to not create solutions. We therefore need to believe more in ourselves, and take a try and for every risk there is a reward. Do it says NIKE and you will never regret it.

Quote 8: ‘All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward sometimes to death but always to victory’.

FEAR means False Evidence Appearing Real. Those things we actually fear are things we have told ourselves that we can’t. Adopt the ‘We Can’ spirit and you are bound for victory. When you go against your fear and you do it, it won’t be long before you know that for the risk there is a reward: a magnificent principle of life.

Quote 9: ‘It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provide the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals

that all human failures spring’

This quote highlights the importance of the human relations to human successes and failures. If we show deep interest in others and seek their good, people will naturally blossom. This is because people live up to others expectations and opinion of them. Believe in people shapes their lives and their future.

Quote 10: ‘People rarely succeed at anything unless they have fun doing it’.

When your job is your hobby, you merely leave home to have fun. I have a friend who is a graphics artiste. He sleeps it, eat it, dream it and all sort. He will work extra hours to get his designer done. He just love it. A job you do not like is like slavery and you will never get the best of it because you cannot give your best to it. Do what you enjoy and your life will be blissful.

Quote 11: ‘Everyman I meet is my superior in some way. In that I learn of him’

I took this lesson serious. There is something to learn from everyone even the fool. From the foolish, you learn not to be foolish and the wise, you learn the practice of wisdom. From a child, you learn to be unbiased, friendly and humble and the adult, the act of responsibility. I pray myself to understand this and be humble to learn from everyone.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so , why?

I understand to a large extent the information that the book conveys.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, I hope to reread the book soon as suggested by the author.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

Nothing

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9