As a Man Thinketh
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
In this book the main idea of the author is to have a clean and smart thoughts and peaceful mind.
2. What were seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. A man is responsible to who to become.
Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for the person we become. We are not what happened to us, we are what we choose to become. So keep pushing yourself forward, do whatever it takes, you will soon leap over the final hurdle and land right where you want to be. Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before and hope is important because It makes the present less difficult to bear by believing that tomorrow will be better. We can bear hardship today. Remember a river cuts through rock, not because of power but because of persistence.
ii. Turning our challenge into opportunity.
When we climb to the top of the obstacle that is blocking our view, we are able to look at our situation from a different perspective. If we do not challenge yourself, we will never realize what we can become. So challenge yourself to be who you know you are capable of being, challenge yourself to live what you preach, to walk your talk. No matter who you are and what happens in your life, you still have the chance to turn your life around and be great. Remember dreams won’t come looking for you. That’s why you have to choose them. Pursue them until they become reality. Then hold on tightly. Look at your problems as problems and they will continue to hold you down. See them as blessings in disguise and that’s what they truly become.
iii. Having peaceful thoughts.
Sometimes it’s better to be kind than to be right. We do not always need an intelligent mind that speaks, just a patient heart that listens. Remember one small positive thought can change your whole day. Use your voice for kindness, your ears for compassion, your hands for charity, your mind for truth, and your heart for love. Always say what you mean and mean what you say, express how you feel and don’t ever apologize for being real.
iv. Having self-control and concentrated thoughts.
Once you control your mind, you can conquer your body. Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do and be who you are, and say what you feel. It’s not being rude, it’s being real.
v. Knowing our weakness and strength.
If we have the courage to begin, we have the courage to succeed. Life will always try to make things difficult for us, but every time we overcome obstacles, we come out stronger. The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us but those who win battles we know nothing about. So let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings.
vi. Seeking for impossibility.
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do.You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible. With courage you will dare to take risks, have strength to be compassionate, and wisdom to be humble. Remember, courage is the foundation of integrity and Excellent is not an act but a habit. Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.
vii. Being calm.
One of the best lessons you can learn in life is to master how to remain calm. be amazing, be good, be pretty, be strong, be smart, be cool, but the most important thing is, being yourself. Life is short, remember, focus on what matters and let go of what does not. Keep calm and don’t care what others think. It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
Applying these ideas or lessons in my daily personal life will bring me closer to achieving my most treasured life goals. Although everyone decides for themselves what constitutes a good life, this can predict success in my life, positive impact to the world and enjoying a meaningful, happy and healthy life.
4. Quotes, are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“ As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.”
A man is the product of his thought. What he thinks, he becomes. You get self satisfaction from pushing yourself to the limit, knowing that all the effort is going to pay off and beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negativity. As long as you still have a dream in your heart, you still have the chance to make it happen, mental toughness can take you to the top and mental weakness straight to the bottom.
“They themselves are makers of themselves.”
The mind is a place of its own, and in itself can make a heaven out of hell and a hell out of heaven. We are what we repeatedly do, the difference between who you are and who you want to be is the work you put in. Remember life is the art of drawing without an eraser, everyone is an artist of (him/her)self, so do not give your brush paint to anyone else. A creative man is motivated by desire to achieve, not by desire to beat others, so you are not what happened to you, you are what you choose to become.
“A man does not come to the almshouse or the jail by the tyranny of fate or circumstance, but by the pathway of groveling thoughts and base desires.”
The fact that man distinguishes good from evil proves his intellectual superiority over any other creature; but the fact that he can act badly proves the inferiority of his mind. In life you don’t get what you wish for you, get what you work for, You can’t have a positive life with a negative mind, so stop running away from your problems because that only increases the distance from the solution, make it right today, tomorrow is too late.
“Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.”
You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel. Good things don’t come to those who wait, good things come to those who are willing to get up and get things done.
“Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.”
Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances, instead of your circumstances having power over you. Remember your failure does not define you, your determination does.
“Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results.”
Your life is a reflection of what you hold inside you, and what you hold inside you is always under your control, so live a better life by controlling your stress. Control your stress by not worrying about things that you can’t change, It’s not what happens to you that matters in life, but how you respond to what happens to you that matters.
“A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life. And as he adapts his mind to that regulating factor, he ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition, and builds himself up in strong and noble thoughts; ceases to kick against circumstances, but begins to use them as aids to his more rapid progress, and as a means of discovering the hidden powers and possibilities within himself.”
Life will always try to make things difficult for you, but every time you overcome obstacles, you come out stronger. Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Remember that your decisions today will have repercussions on your future.
“Clean thoughts make clean habits.”
Your biggest asset is your brain. Your mind controls your life, your confidence, your relationships, your purpose, your strengths, your success. Remember the quality of your thoughts determines the quality of your life. Positive thinking leads to positive outcomes, your life is a result of your choices. If you like your life, it’s time to make some better choices.
“He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure.”
Pain is the little voice in your head that tries to hold you back because it knows if you continue, you will change. So don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning.
“A man can only rise, conquer, and achieve by lifting up his thoughts.’’
Running away from your problems is a race that you will never win. The fear of being different prevents most people from seeking new ways to solve their problem, and opportunities come and go, being able to know when to make quick decisions is an important skill. The harder you work for something, the greater you’ll feel when you achieve it. To receive good you must be on the goodness frequency, so think good thoughts, speak good words, and take good actions.
“The Vision that you glorify in your mind, the Ideal that you enthrone in your heart-this you will build your life by, this you will become.”
The only thing that stands between you and your dream is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible. Remember your Vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your Ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.
“It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those possessing these blessings, for they are always sweet, serene, and calm.”
Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it. When it rains it pours. But soon, the sun shines again. So stay positive, Better days are on their way, surround yourself with positive people who will support you when it rains, not just when it shines.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
No, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
No, the book doesn’t contain the exercises.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9
Jonathan Livingston Seagull
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
Here the main idea that the author is trying to convey is to be yourself and having unlimited dreams. Believe in yourself, push your limits, experience life, conquer your goals, and be happy.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
The following are most personally important ideas I found while I was reading the book:
i. Being yourself
There is only one person who would ever make you happy, and that person is you. You don’t have to be afraid to show who you really are as long as you are happy with yourself, no one else’s opinion matters. Never allow yourself to be defined by someone else’s opinion. You must find a place inside yourself where nothing is impossible, and if you are being true to yourself and it isn’t enough for the people around you, maybe it’s time to change the people around you. Believe in yourself, there will come a day when others will have no choice but to believe in you.
ii. Having a growth mindset
Having a growth mindset can protect people against some of the negative effects of bias and prejudice. If you have the courage to begin something, you have also the courage to succeed. If you do not challenge yourself, you will never realize what you can become. Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for the person we become. A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances, instead of your circumstances having power over you.
iii. Free your mind from worries
You get self satisfaction from pushing yourself to the limit, knowing that all the effort is going to pay off. Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears, We all need to look in the mirror and be true to our inner wisdom rather than our fears. remember once you control your mind, you can conquer your body.
iv. Hard working
Work until you no longer have to introduce yourself. The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday, keep pushing yourself forward, do whatever it takes, you will soon leap over the final hurdle and land right where you want to be. The distance between your dream and reality is called action, if you can imagine it, you can achieve it and if you can dream it, you can become it. Make your own destiny.
v. Never give up
Your beliefs about the degree to which you can effectively cope with the ups and downs of everyday life will differ with courage you will dare to take risks, have strength to be compassionate, and wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity.
vi. Developing an expertise
Having an expertise that is meaningful, to you and others, is also essential to your long term success, because by developing the knowledge, skills and experience that make the experts exceptional at what they do. Regardless of whether you want to be a superstar in your field or whether you want to do a job that you can be proud of.
Surround yourself with these who see greatness in you, even when you don’t see it in yourself. let your life mean something, and become an inspiration to others so that they may try to do more and become more than they are today. If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. Remember everyone you meet has something to teach you.
vii. Emotional stability
Sometimes we need power only when we want to do something harmful, otherwise love is enough to get everything done. The bonds that link your true family is not only one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Life is not about the mistakes we’ve made, it’s about the lessons we’ve learned and the friends we’ve gained. Fake friends are like shadows, always near you at your brightest moment but nowhere to be seen at your darkest hours.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
Applying these ideas in my daily personal life will bring me closer to achieving my most treasured life goals. Although everyone decides for themselves what constitutes a good life, this can predict success in my life, positive impact to the world and enjoying a meaningful, happy and healthy life.
4. Quotes, are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“Seagulls, as you know, never falter, never stall. To stall in the air is for them disgrace and it is dishonor.”
If every human being can adopt this statement and put it into action in his/her daily routine, this can bring for us a big positive impact. By practicing this we are able to know when to use our strengths to overcome our weaknesses, and when our accountability is needed the most.
“For most gulls, it is not flying that matters, but eating. For this gull, though, it was not eating that mattered, but flight. More than anything else. Jonathan Livingston Seagull loved to fly.”
If we work with love, desire, commitment and we also work hard by setting our short and long term goals, more successful. Focus on the people who inspire you, not the ones who annoy you.
“I don’t mind being a bone and feathers mom. I just want to know what I can do in the air and what I can’t, that’s all. I just want to know.”
Every next level of you will demand a different you, learning new is the only way which puts us in the right way of being more better today than we were yesterday. The fear of being different prevents most people from seeking new ways to solve their problem. We all need to look in the mirror and be true to our inner wisdom rather than our fears.
“But the weight of failure was even heavier on his back. He wished, feebly, that the weight could be just enough to drug him gently down to the bottom, and end it all.”
Pain is the little voice in your head that tries to hold you back because it knows if you continue, you will change. As long as you still have a dream in your heart, you still have the chance to make it happen. Never give up, everyone has bad days, pick yourself up and keep going. There are no failures, only lessons. We either win or we learn. It is during our failures that we discover our true desire for success. The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
“Seagulls never fly in the dark! If you were meant to fly in the dark, you’d have the eyes of an owl! You’d have charts for brains! You’d have a falcon’s short wings! There in the night, a hundred feet in the air.”
Happy is the person who can do only one thing, in doing it, they fulfill their destiny. Happy are they who take life day by day, complain very little, and are thankful to the little things in life. Good things don’t come to those who wait, good things come to those who are willing to get up and get things done. Risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical, expect more than others think is possible. In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you. Don’t give up just because of what someone said, use that as motivation to push harder. Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.
“We can lift ourselves out of ignorance, we can find ourselves as creatures of excellence and intelligence and skill. We can be free! We can learn to fly.”
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak, courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you will start having positive results. It’s not what happens to you that matters in life, but how you respond to what happens to you that matters. What intensifies fear and desire is ignorance, that is why rich people with lots of money often have more fear the richer they get. a human’s life is a struggle between ignorance and illumination. Do something today that your future self will thank you for. No matter how many people try to criticize you, the best revenge is to prove them wrong.
“Instead of being enfeebled by age, the Elder had been empowered by it; he could outfly any gull in the Flock, and he had learned skills that the others were only gradually coming to know.”
The harder you work for something, the greater you’ll feel when you achieve it. having an expertise that’s meaningful to you and others, is also essential to your long term success. It needs an investment in a special kind of practice to develop expertise. People who become experts practice more often than those don’t. To become outstanding in a particular area of expertise, requires that you engage in focused intensive, organized practice, day after day and year after year. It requires delayed gratification and a lot of willpower and that’s why most people settle for good enough. People engaged in intensive practice have the willpower to resist short term temptation, so that they can achieve their long term goals. It’s easy to attribute their mastery of their craft as being the result of natural talent because we do not see how hard they worked for so many years, with so much discipline to develop a talent they have that now looks natural.
“Break the chains of your thought, and you break the chains of your body, too.”
A man is the product of his thought. What he thinks, he becomes. When you climb to the top of the obstacle that is blocking your view, you are able to look at your situation from a different perspective. Don’t let yourself be controlled by three things; people, or past experiences. Once you control your mind, you can conquer your body. let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings. Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.
“You don’t need me any longer. You need to keep finding yourself, a little more each day, that real, unlimited Fletcher Seagull. He’s your instructor. You need to understand him and to practice with him.”
If you have got more knowledge in the area of expertise, you are able to use this knowledge to make better and faster decisions in routine and non- routine situations. You have superior skills in your area of expertise that enable you to implement these decisions in ways that are consistently superior to other performance. Challenge yourself to be who you know you are. Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do. are capable of being. Challenge yourself to live what you preach, to walk your talk. A river cuts through rock, not because of power but because of persistence. You get the best out of others when you give the best of yourself.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
No, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
No, the book doesn’t contain the exercises.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 8
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9
Keys to Success
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author in this book is trying to reveal what the successful people do that we should do.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. Being a visionary
Dreams won’t come looking for you. That’s why you have to choose them. Pursue them until they become reality, then hold on tightly. The more you dream, the further you get. The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine. Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings. Here what I mean is, you must dream big and follow your dream as well, make a plan and stick to it, establish your goal and work hard to achieve it. Life is a result of our choices. If you like your life, it’s time to make some better choices. Remember happiness is not something you postpone for the future, it’s something you design for the present.
ii. Thinking creatively
We have to explore our innate abilities and enhance our creative skills to become more creative and imaginative. Remember creativity is not the ability to create something out of nothing, but the ability to generate new ideas by combining, changing, reapplying existing ideas. It’s not about having the skill to do something. It’s about having the will, desire and commitment to be your best. Decide what is what you want. Write it down, make a plan, and work on it every single day. Do not fear failure because mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before, and also you must have hope, because hope is important. it makes the present less difficult to bear, By believing that tomorrow will be better we can bear hardship today. Success is doing ordinary things in extraordinary ways.
iii. Working hard
Work until you no longer have to introduce yourself. The distance between your dream and reality is called action. You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible. Life will always try to make things difficult for you, but every time you overcome obstacles, you come out stronger. Don’t make excuses for why you can’t get it done. Focus on all the reasons why you must make it happen. It does not matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop. Success is no accident. It’s hard work, learning, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing.
iv. Avoiding the negative mental attitudes
When you stop choosing the wrong things, you give the good things a chance to catch you. Life becomes easier when you delete the negative people from it. One small positive thought can change your whole day. Positive thinking leads to positive outcomes.
Happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and give thanks for all the troubles we don’t have.
v. Team working
Knowing how to network effectively is essential to growing both personally and professionally. This will need to create a positive, useful network and work required to maintain it. It’s also important to network thoughtfully and effectively. To be the best at what you do, you need to surround yourself with people who inspire you, who motivate you and who challenge you. Everyone you meet has something to teach you and everyone deserves someone who makes them look forward to tomorrow. Surround yourself with these who see greatness in you, even when you don’t see it in yourself. Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe the one reason why it will.
vi. Developing a self-discipline
Without discipline you will be lost when you face tough situations. Developing a personal discipline will help you to navigate difficult situations and boost confidence in your decision making. As the author mentioned in this book to think of your mind as a reservoir which holds a potential power so you will need to release a precise quantity of power in specific direction. The pain of discipline is far less than the pain of regret. Life is like a coin, you can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once. You can’t control everything, sometimes you just need to relax and have faith things will work out. Let go a little and let life happen. When you climb to the top of the obstacle that is blocking your view, you are able to look at your situation from a different perspective, so you can not do this in absence of self-discipline. Don’t let yourself be controlled by three things; people, money or past experiences. Remember once you control your mind, you can conquer your body. And discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.
vii. Being a world change maker
Be the one who advocates for positive change. This will need for you to work with different groups of individuals, even when those groups of individuals may have competing interests. You will find ways to get these diverse groups to work together and take action so that these different groups can continue to operate independently while minimizing conflict. Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.
If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old.
Use your voice for kindness, your ears for compassion, your hands for charity, your mind for truth, and your heart for love. No matter who you are and what happens in your life, you still have the chance to turn your life around and be great. You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel. Often in the real world, it’s not the smart who get ahead, but the bold. Making someone smile when they are feeling down is one of the best feelings in the world. Life is not about who hurt you and broke you down, it’s about who was always there and who made you smile again. Remember one smile can start a friendship. One word can end a fight, one look can save a relationship, one person can change your life.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
Applying these ideas in my daily personal life will bring me closer to achieving my most treasured life goals. Although everyone decides for themselves what constitutes a good life, this can predict success in my life, positive impact to the world and enjoying a meaningful, happy and healthy life.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“Drifting through life without aim or purpose is the first cause of failure.”
Life without purpose is like a ship at sea without a compass to guide the captain. Remember the direction is more important than speed. The key of success is to focus on goals not obstacles.
“Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, your mind can achieve.”
If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it. Make your own destiny. Challenge yourself to be who you know you are capable of being. Challenge yourself to live what you preach, to walk your talk.
You are not what happened to you, you are what you choose to become. So Let your life mean something, become an inspiration to others so that they may try to do more and become more than they are today.
“Sometimes when the flames of hope dwindled to a flicker, I had to fan them with everything I possessed to keep them from going out.”
Don’t let someone dim your light simply because it’s shining in their eyes. Take control of your destiny, believe in yourself, ignore those who try to discourage you, avoid negative sources, people and habits.
“Personal initiative depends on your being alert to every opportunity and acting on that opportunity as soon as you discover it.”
Opportunities come and go, being able to know when to make quick decisions is an important skill. Most of the time life does not talk to you, it just sort of pushes you around. Each push is life saying, if you learn life’s lesson you will do well. If not, life will just continue to push you around. True learning takes energy, passion and burning desire. If you learn this you will grow into a wise successful and happy person. If you don’t, you will spend your life complaining.
“Success attracts success while failure attracts more failure.”
The more you talk about negative things in your life, the more you call them in. speak victory not defeat. A person who really wants something will find a way; a person who doesn’t will find an excuse. Remember the more you dream, the further you get.
“Determine what kind of resource you need, set up a plan for acquiring then based on the idea of not too much, not too little. Don’t think small, but remember, greed more than anything else has destroyed ambitious people.”
An important part of solving any problem is observing or using your senses to find out what is going on around you. How to control what you can and accept what you can’t so you can stop freaking out and get on with your life. Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. Remember happy are they who take life day by day, complain very little, and are thankful to the little things in life.
“Find out what you want most in life, and go after it. Do it right now by helping others to acquire similar benefits.”
The fear of being different prevents most people from seeking new ways to solve their problem. Don’t let anyone stop you from being the best person you can be. Be who you are, and say what you feel. It’s not being rude, it’s being real. Let your life mean something, become an inspiration to others so that they may try to do more and to become more than they are today. Keep pushing yourself forward, do whatever it takes, you will soon leap over the final hurdle and land right where you want to be. Remember garbage in garbage out.
“One good deed a day will keep old man gloom away.”
A great attitude becomes a great day, which becomes a great month, which becomes a great year, which becomes a great life.
“Make yourself understand that what whips you isn’t defeat, but your mental attitude toward it, train yourself to look for the seed of equivalent benefit in every disappointment you face.’’
Don’t see your problems as the problem, see them as blessings. When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you. When you face difficult times, know that challenges are not sent to destroy you, they are sent to promote, increase and strengthen you. Remember falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice. You can’t go back and change the past, so look to the future and don’t make the same mistake twice.
“Turn all unpleasant circumstances into opportunities for action. Make an automatic habit, and your success will multiply.”
Success is not an accident. It’s hard work, learning, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing. There is no secret to success, it is the result of preparation. Remember the road to success is lined with many tempting parking spaces. Life is not about the mistakes we’ve made, it’s about the lessons we’ve learned and the friends we’ve gained, Your decisions today will have repercussions on your future that will help you to know what to bring and not to bring to your future.
“Look on life as continuing, learning process, and even bad experience will become good ones.”
We don’t always choose what happens to us, but we can choose to see it as positive, to believe it is for the best, and to use it to grow. Don’t spend today worrying why yesterday was bad, spend it planning on how to make tomorrow better. Remember everyone you meet has something to teach you.
“The more enthusiasm you direct into the world, the better you are preparing yourself to attain exactly what you want.”
Being successful needs passion, commitment and hard work, so just because it’s not what you were expecting, doesn’t mean it’s not everything you’ve been waiting for. Don’t let someone else’s opinion change how you feel about something. Stand by what you believe in and always be prepared.
“Wasting time is sinful.”
Your time is precious, do not waste it on anyone who doesn’t realize that you are too. Life is too short to waste one single second with someone or something who/which doesn’t appreciate and value you.
“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”
The fear of being different prevents most people from seeking new ways to solve their problem. One of the keys to success is having the discipline to do something, even when you don’t feel like doing it. So cherish your thoughts, avoid negative ones and make a difference tomorrow.
“ It makes little difference where you begin. The important thing to ask is; where are going? What motive inspires you to give your best? Are you willing to go the extra mile? Are you a clock-watcher? Eager for the day to end? Or do you look for the opportunity to make yourself indispensable to others?”
Faith allows things to happen, it is the power that comes from a fearless heart, and when a fearless heart believes a miracle happens. The window of opportunity only opens for a brief moment, you must be prepared. Always give your total maximum effort, even when the odds are against. Remember planning for your journey is the key.
“The universal principal (cosmic habit force) can work for you. The choice is yours.”
Learn to never change, but to be a better person. Wake up each day determined, and go to bed satisfied. You are destined for greatness.
“To guarantee success, engage daily in study, thinking, and planning time with PMA regarding yourself and your family and how you can achieve your definite goals.”
Happy is the person who can do only one thing, in doing it, they fulfill their destiny. Good things don’t come to those who wait, good things come to those who are willing to get up and get things done.
“Hope is the magic ingredient in motivation, but the secret of accomplishment is getting into action.”
Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings. Keep smiling and enjoy the journey even when it’s like there’s no hope at all, everything will be alright. Failure often opens new doors of opportunity and provides one with useful knowledge of the realities of life, through trials and difficulty.
“The first ingredient which I believe is absolutely necessary for a successful, efficient, and competent individual is enthusiasm.”
Success is equal to the strong burning desire of doing something plus commitment and hard working.
“No battle of any importance can be won without enthusiasm.”
Knowledge is power but enthusiasm pulls the switch. The difference between who you are and who you want to be is the work you put in.
“The emotions are not always immediately subject to reason but they are always immediately subject to action.”
Ability is what you are capable of doing, motivation determines what you do, attitude determines how well you do it.
“Your failure and your success are the result of habits.”
Look at your problems as problems and they will continue to hold you down. See them as blessings in disguise and that’s what they truly become.
“Direct your thoughts, control your emotions, ordain your destiny with PMA.”
A great life isn’t about big things, It’s about the small things that make a big difference.
“That which you share will multiply, that which you withhold will diminish.”
Garbage in, garbage out. Which means that the more you give, the more you receive. So give your best and you’ll receive more.
“The worst thing that happen to you may be the best thing that can happen to you if you don’t let it get best of you.”
Losing is a learning experience, it teaches you humility, it teaches you to work harder, it’s also a powerful motivation. So falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice. Setbacks are only temporary, as long as you don’t give up.
“Sow an act and you reap a habit, sow a habit and you reap a character, sow a character and you reap a destiny.
Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are and your reputation is what others think you are.
“A sound mind and sound body are attainable if you will put PMA to work for you. Remember, you can enjoy good health and live longer with PMA.”
Accept yourself for the person you are, for all the mistakes you did and also for the transformation you’re about to experience in the future. so love your future version from this moment. Life isn’t finding shelter in the storm. It’s about learning to dance in the rain. Even sometimes our lives are not perfect, but we must be happy with what we have and work hard to get where we want to be. It’s not what happens to you that matters in life, but how you respond to what happens to you that matters. Remember life isn’t about how long you live, it’s about how much fun you have while you are living. So accept the challenge in life with a smile on your face, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory. Learn to use your emotions to think, not think with your emotions.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
No, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, the book contains fruitful exercises which have empowered me not only mentally also emotionally and have led me to some commitment to my vision and my life in general.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 8
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9
PsychoCybernetics
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author in this fruitful book is trying to help us discover our self-image by trying to look at ourselves in the mirror and reflecting ourselves in order to discover facets of our personality that are deeply hidden. And live a meaningful life.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. Self-portrait
Dr.Valerie Gauthier at HEC Paris established a new methodology to educate leaders and managers called Savoir which is a tool of approaching and managing complex problems at individual level, interpersonal and organizational level. The savoir-relier approach, builds upon the value of developing your personality with all your skills set and talent by touching on sensibility and intimacy. It also relies on the capacity to work on yourself, to find its best expression with confidence, and to work with others more efficiently. With that confidence, you become capable of inspiring trust in others.
In its protocols embed self-portrait which basically tells you who you are, how you are going to be with your peers and colleagues, how you would be behaving connected with your society. And this is basically, kind of a mirror of your personality, which you would be in a position to share with others which I can relate with author’s opinions in this book.
ii. Thinking your-self as a successful
Success can be define as being able to make positive impact to society, accomplishing goals that you set for yourself, doing what you want and feel real good about it, building useful relationships and networks, being helpful with others and so on…this means that success can be internally and externally measured. External measures of success are things that are objective and can be seen and evaluated by others as well as yourself. Internal measures of success include things that are subjective, which means only you can decide whether or not they matter to you. A leader should be aware what predict success in his life and inspire others. Success is earned day-by-day through small wins, small achievable actions that together can help you achieve your goals sooner and exceed even your own expectation.
iii. Live a happiness life
As the author say in this book that “we think better, we feel better, we perform better and healthier when are happy.” Happiness is the cure to our everyday life. Pleasant thoughts direct us in righteousness and good life. Your life is the result of your choice, if you like your life it’s time to make some better choices. Remember happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles we have and give thanks for all the troubles we don’t have and Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It mean that you’ve decide to look beyond the imperfections. Happiness is not something you postpone for the future, it’s something you design for the present. The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles. Be kind, be good and be loving to other people and you will be happy. There is only on person who would ever make you happy, and that person is you.
iv. Turning challenge into opportunity
As the author say that ‘’ any time you act you can be wrong, any decision you make can turn out be the wrong one. But you must not let this deter us from going after the goal we want.’’ You don’t need a new day to start over, you only need a new mindset. A step in the wrong direction is better than stay on the spot all your life. The key is to recognize these negatives, make effort toward them by not repeated and take a serious positive action toward them.
Challenge yourself to be who you know you are capable of being. Challenge yourself to live what you preach, to walk your talk. Life will always try to make things difficult for you, but every time you overcome obstacles, you come out stronger. Look your problems as problems and they will continue to hold you down. See them as blessing in disguise and that’s what they truly become. You must make the choice, to take the chance, if you want anything in life to change.
v. Applying the three golden rule
Every society divides people into groups based on categories such as race, gender, nationality, religion, sexual orientation, region and economic class. This issue seems endless and then societies stereotype members of these groups as being more or less competent and worthy than others. These stereotypes and their negative effects play out everyday in playgrounds, in schools, colleges, communities, work organization and politics. So by applying three golden rule, no intention, no judgment and no right or wrong answer can help us to overcome this serious issue. Use your voice for kindness, your ears for compassion, your hands for charity, your mind for truth, and your heart for love.
vi. Unlock your personality
To unlock our personalities is to explore our innate abilities and to see if we can enhance these. If we have a problem, then we need creative ideas to solve it. You need to think to more consequences before acting and plan your activities more carefully. You have to stop criticizing yourself and make people know that you like them. Don’t be afraid to show who you really are, because remember, as long as you are happy with yourself, no one else’s opinion matters.
vii. Giving sense to your life.
Our assumption of a future goal, which sometimes we can not see, is what dictate s our present actions, and our practical conduct. You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life. When we water the roots of a tree, it reaches the leaves yet the water isn’t visible to us. Be patient and work hard. Nothing may be visible immediately like the water, but ultimately the fruits of your labor will appear.
A good life is when you smile often, dream big, laugh a lot and realize how blessed you are for what you have.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
Applying these ideas in my daily personal life will bring me closer to achieving my most treasured life goals. Although everyone decides for themselves what constitutes a good life, this can predict success in my life, positive impact to the world and enjoying a meaningful, happy and healthy life.
4. Quotes: are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“I learned more from my failure than my successes.”
Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly in the path of the best things that will ever happen to us. When you face difficult time, know that challenges are not sent to destroy you, they are sent to promote, increase and strengthen you. Mistake have the power to turn you into something better than you were before. If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old. No matter who you are and what happens in your life, you still have the chance to turn your life around and be great. Let your strengths overcome your weaknesses, life is not about the mistakes we’ve made, it’s about the lessons we’ve learned and the friends we’ve gained. Don’t fear failure, believe in yourself and create your own destiny.
“True success and true happiness not only go together but each enhances other.”
Success is doing ordinary things in extraordinarily way. Keep smiling and enjoy the journey even when it’s like there’s no hope at all, everything will be alright. Be happy with the little that you have, there re people with nothing that still manage to smile. Let go your insecurities, let go of your pain, you are limitless, nothing is holding you back. Smile, love, laugh, don’t forget to live.
“The self-image is a premise, a base or a foundation upon which your entire personality, your behavior, and even your circumstances are built.”
You get the best out of others when you give the best of yourself. A positive attitude brings much gratitude, think positive, be positive, speak positive and stay positive. we don’t always choose what happens to us, but we can choose to see it as positive, to believe it is for the best, and to use it to grow. Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for the person we become. A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances, instead of your circumstances having power over you.
“Your nervous system reacts appropriately to what you think or imagine to be true.”
Once you control your mind, you can conquer your body. let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings.
“ You must have a clear mental picture of the correct thing before you can do it successful.”
If you can image it, you can achieve it and if you can dream it, you can become it, you have to make your own destiny. Let your life mean something, become an inspiration to others so that they may try to do more and to become more than they are today.
Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you will start having positive results.
“Before a person can change, he must see himself in new role.”
Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change. Pain is the little voice in your head that tries to hold you back because it knows if you continue, you will change. Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. In life you don’t get what you wish for you, get what you work for. Don’t change yourself just to make someone love you, be yourself and let the right one fall you.
“You are an individual, you are unique, you are not like any other person. You are not supposed to be like any other and no other person is supposed to be like you.”
A good personality is one which enables you to deal effectively and appropriately with environment and reality, and to gain satisfaction from reaching goals which are important to you. Take control of your destiny, believe in yourself, ignore those who try to discourage you, avoid negative sources, people and habits and if you do not challenge yourself, you will never realize what you can become. So stop trying to be someone you are not, be unique, be special, be yourself.
“A person has to start in the present to acquire some maturity so that the future may be better than the past. The present and the future depend on learning new habits and new way of looking at old problems.”
The best thing about the past is that, it shows you what not to bring into your future. You can’t go back and change the past, so look to the future and don’t make the same mistake twice. Don’t let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your future, the struggle you are in today is developing your strength for tomorrow. The different between who you are and who you want to be is the work you put in.
“Our errors, mistakes, failures and sometimes even our humiliation were necessary steps in the learning process. However, they were meant to be means to an end and not end in the in themselves.”
Failure often opens new doors of opportunity and provides one with useful knowledge of the realities of life, through trials and difficulty. It is during our failures that we discover our true desire for success. Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before. Good things don’t come to those who wait, good things come to those who are willing to get up and get things done and moving on doesn’t mean you forget about things. It just means you have to accept what happened and continue. Life is not about the mistakes we’ve made, it’s about the lessons we’ve learned.
“I am beginning the day in a new and better way, then consciously decide that throughout the day; I will be as cheerful as possible, I will try to feel and act a little more friendly toward other people, I am going to be a little less critical and a little more tolerant of other people, their faults, failings, and mistakes. I will place the best possible interpretation upon their actions. I am going to act as if success were inevitable, and I already am the sort of personality want to be . I will practice, acting like and feeling like this new personality. I will not let my own opinion color facts in a pessimistic or negative way, regardless of what happens, I will react as calmly and as intelligently as possible, I will ignore completely and close my mind to all those pessimistic and negative facts which I can do nothing to change.”
Every single day you should wake up and commit yourself to becoming a better person. Life is too short to start your day with broken pieces of yesterday, this can definitely destroy your good day and ruin great tomorrow. Not what we have but what we enjoy constitutes our abundance. Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
“The difference between a successful man and failure is not one’s better abilities or idea, but the courage that one has to bet on his ideas, to take a calculated risk and to act.”
Success is no accident. It’s hard work, learning, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing. Risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical, expect more than others think is possible. A creative man is motivated by desire to achieve, not by desire to beat others. Remember life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving forward and Good things don’t come to those who wait, good things come to those who are willing to get up and get things done.
“It doesn’t matter how many times you have failed in the past. What matter is the successful attempt, which should be remembered, reinforced and dwelt upon.”
It’s not what happen to you that matters in life, but how you respond to what happens to you that matters. Always say what you mean and mean what you say, express how you feel and don’t ever apologize for being real. You don’t always choose what happens to you, but you can choose to see it as positive, to believe it is for the best, and to use it to grow and Forget what hurt us in the past but never forget what it taught you.
“ Try giving affection, love, approval, acceptance, understanding to other people and you will find them coming back to you as sort of reflex action.”
Making someone smile when they are feeling down is one of the best feelings in the world, sometimes it’s better to be kind than to be right. We do not always need an intelligent mind that speaks, just a patient heart that listens. So use your voice for kindness, your ears for compassion, your hands for charity, your mind for truth, and your heart for love. Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are.
“ True forgiveness comes only when we are able to see, and emotionally accept, that there is and was nothing for us to forgive.”
Don’t forgive people because you are weak, you have to forgive them because you are strong enough to know people make mistakes. Sometimes moving on means being strong enough to let go and the best revenge is to move on and get over it, don’t give someone the satisfaction of watching you suffer.
“ Each of us need a quiet room inside his own mind. A quiet centre within, like the deep of the ocean that is never disturbed, no matter how rough the waves may be come up the surface.”
Keep calm because life is too short to stress over people who don’t deserve to be an issue. One of the best lessons you can learn in life is to master how to remain calm. Don’t spend today worrying why yesterday was bad, spend it planning on how to make tomorrow better.
“ Crisis situation are not life or death matters at all, but opportunities to either advance or stay where you are.”
When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you. We don’t always choose what happens to us, but we can choose to see it as positive, to believe it is for the best, and to use it to grow. Don’t allow your mistakes from yesterday to determine the joy you experience today. Learn your past and move on, choose to be happy.
“There is no merit in blaming yourself. The past explains how you got here, but where you go from here is your responsibility.”
Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice. Never give up on what you really want to do, the person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts. Believe in yourself, push your limits, experience life, conquer your goals, and be happy.
“More living means among other things, more accomplishment, the attainment of worthwhile goals, more love experienced and given, more health and enjoyment, more happiness for both yourself and others.”
Life isn’t about how long you live, it’s about how much fun you have while you are living. You were born to be real, not to be perfect, you are here to be you, not to live someone else’s life. Let go your insecurities, let go of your pain, you are limitless, nothing is holding you back. Smile, love, laugh, don’t forget to live and If you do not challenge yourself, you will never realize what you can become. Smile, It will make you look better, with Pray. It will make you strong, and with Love. It will make you enjoy life.
“You can not believe yourself the image of god, deeply and sincerely, with full conviction and not receive a new source of strength and power.”
Stop telling God how big your problems are and start telling your problems how big your God is! God never takes something good away from us without having the intention of replacing it with something better. God has perfect timing, never early, never late. It takes a little patience and it takes a lot of faith but it’s worth the wait. God gave you this life because he knew you were strong enough to live it. When you are down to nothing, God is up to something. The faithful see the invisible, believe the incredible, and receive the impossible.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
No, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, the book contains fruitful exercises which have empowered me not only mentally also emotionally and had lead me to some commitment to my vision and my life in general.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author in this book shows us an enjoyable way of interacting with people and finding a new way of life full of happiness.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. The big secret of dealing with people
Let’s not focus only on what we desire or on our success, let’s also consider other’s point of view and appreciate every single step they take. Avoid flattery and criticism, give honest appreciation from the deepest our hearts and constructive feedback. Remember garbage in garbage out.
ii. A simple way to make a good impression
Life will never be perfect, no matter how hard you try. There will always be broken hearts and there will always be days where nothing goes right, but you must accept and learn that even the most imperfect things will always be made better with love and smile.
Smiling costs nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. It creates happiness everywhere.
iii. How to make people like you
Everyone deserves someone who makes him look forward to tomorrow. Never look down on anybody unless you are helping him up. So, let your life mean something, become an inspiration to others so that they may try to do more and to become more than they are today. Always make other people feel important, appreciate every improvement they do, try to put yourself in their shoes and talk more about themselves instead of yourself. Remember people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
iv. If you are wrong admitting it
Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before. Life is not about the mistakes we’ve made, it’s about the lessons we’ve learned and the friends we’ve gained. Nothing is ever wrong; we learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be proud of you. If you are wrong admitting it quickly because having the courage to admit the errors, we made in our daily routine helps us to solve the problem created by these errors.
v. How to criticize and not be hated for it
If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much that makes a difference. A positive attitude brings much gratitude, think positive, be positive, speak positive and stay positive. Do it every day and do it big. Remember: when you talk, you only repeat what you already know, if you listen you may learn something.
People need to learn that their actions do affect other people, so be careful what you say and do. Calling attention to one’s mistakes indirectly works wonders with sensitive people who may resent bitterly and direct criticism.
vi. Give the dog a good name
The people don’t know their true power and one of the keys to success is having the discipline to do something, even when you don’t feel like doing it. Change the way you look at things and the things will look at change. Remember your voice can change the world so don’t be afraid to use it. The fear of being different prevents most people from seeking new ways to solve their problem. No matter how bad the situation is right now, never stop believing in better days. If you want to improve a person in a certain aspect, act as though that particular trait was already one of his or her outstanding characteristics. Keep improving, keep growing, and keep working hard. One day, everything will come out exactly how you want it. Changing attitude or behaviour of others by giving the person a fine reputation to live up to. Always believe in yourself, you are amazing just the way you are and focus on the people who inspire you, not the ones who annoy you.
vii. If you want to be happy do not neglect this one
Happiness comes from giving your full attention to thoughts that make you feel happy and ignoring thoughts that don’t make you feel happy so that every single circumstance in your life will change for the better. To be happy, look for things to appreciate, no matter what is happening around you. Think good thoughts, speak good words, take good actions. Love is the highest and most powerful emotion you can feel. Just feeling love can single-handedly transform the relationship in your life. So, focus only on things you love, feel love and you will experience that love and joy coming back to you multiplied.
Remember when you make a deliberate effort to look for things you love and appreciate more than you notice negative things, a miracle will take place. Accept the challenge in life with a smile on your face, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.
A smile is a spiritual perfume you spray on others, everyone near you benefits from it so give kind words, give a smile, give appreciation and love.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
These ideas will help me to create a new way of living by attracting people and influence them also to live a meaning and purposeful life. Of course, better interaction among others. For sure this will bring a positive change to the world.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear to do and get a record of
successful experience behind you.”
Believe in yourself, trust your abilities, be positive and confident. Have courage and have faith. Believe it you can make it happen. The harder you work for something, the greater you’ll feel when you achieve it. Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings. Remember ability is what you are capable of doing, motivation determines what you do, attitude determines how well you do it.
“If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.”
A person who really wants something will find a way; a person who doesn’t will find an excuse. Surround yourself with these who see greatness in you, even when you don’t see it in yourself. The life you have left is a gift, cherish it, enjoy it now, to the fullest, do what you want most.
“Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbour’s roof, when your own doorstep is unclean.”
The more you know yourself, the more patience you have for what you see in others. If you want everyone to respect you, then first learn to respect others. Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you.
“I will speak ill of no man, and speak all good I know of everybody.”
You should tell people how important they are to you while you still have the chance. A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life. And as he adapts his mind to that regulating factor, he ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition, and builds himself up in strong and noble thoughts; ceases to kick against circumstances, but begins to use them as aids to his more rapid progress, and as a means of discovering the hidden powers and possibilities within himself.
“To know all is to forgive all”.
Don’t let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your future, forgive and let go. Relationships get stronger when both of you are willing to understand mistakes and forgive each other. don’t forgive people because you are weak, forgive them because you are strong enough to know people make mistakes.
“Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.”
I’d rather have an enemy who slaps me in the face than a friend who stabs me in the back.
“Every man I meet is my superior in some way, in that, I learn of him.”
Everybody has a creative potential and from the moment you can express this creative potential, you can start changing the world. Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. Everyone you meet has something to teach you.
“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
If you made a mistake, apologize. If you are thankful, say it. If you are confused, ask questions. If you learn something, teach it. If you are stuck, ask for help. If you are wrong, admit it, sooner. If you can unselfishly give, give. If you love someone, tell them, now.
“A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.”
Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are. Humans are the master of thought, the moulder of character, and the maker and shaper of condition, environment, and destiny. Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bad fruit
“Whenever Roosevelt expected a visitor, he sat up late the night before, reading upon the subject in which he knew his guest was particularly interested.”
There is no secret to success, it is the result of preparation.
“Hatred is never ended by hatred but love, and misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation, and a sympathetic desire to see the other person’s viewpoint.”
Cooperativeness in conversation is achieved when you show that you consider the other person’s ideas and feeling as important as your own. Nothing is ever wrong; we learn from every step we take; whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be proud of you.
“By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”
When you run from something, it only stays with you longer. If you fight for something it only makes you stronger. A creative man is motivated by desire to achieve, not by desire to beat others.
“The sun can make you take off your coat more quickly than the wind, and kindness, the friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world.”
To change your world, all you have to do is manage your thoughts and feelings on the inside of you. Then your whole world changes.
“All men have fear, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory.”
Mind is the master weaver, both of the inner garment of character and the outer garment of circumstance, and that, as they may have hitherto woven in ignorance and pain they may now weave in enlightenment and happiness. When your burning desire for success is greater than your deepest fear of failure, you can create anything in your life. Accept your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. Face your future without fear.
“Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.”
Nothing is ever wrong; we learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be proud of you. If you made a mistake, apologize. If you are thankful, say it. If you are confused, ask questions. If you learn something, teach it. If you are stuck, ask for help. If you are wrong, admit it, sooner. If you can unselfishly give, give. If you love someone, tell them, now.
“Success in marriage is much more than a matter of finding the right person, it is also a matter of being the right person.”
Building relationships, it’s a need to have not a nice to have. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Don’t chase other people. Work hard and be yourself. Under these two principles, the right people will find their way into your life. A good relationship doesn’t need any promises, terms or conditions, just two people who can trust and understand.
“Courtesy is that quality of heart that overlooks the broken gate and calls attention to the flowers in the yard beyond the gate.”
Talk with people who make you see the world differently.
“I would give all my genius, and all my books, if there were only some woman, somewhere, who cared whether or not I came home late for dinner.”
In every successful man there is a woman behind. Remember that no one ever forgets kindness, so please don’t miss opportunities to be kind. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
The problem today is people don’t cherish good people; they try to use them. Surround yourself with people who support your dreams and push you higher.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why
No, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, the book contains fruitful exercises which have empowered me not only mentally also emotionally and have led me to some commitment to my vision and my life in general.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9
Success through a Positive Mental Attitude
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
Author in this book is teaching us how to turn failure into success using a positive mental attitude.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. Starting point of success
As the author mentioned in this book that ” what the mind of a man can conceive and believe, he can achieve it” the success starts in our belief, in our thoughts especially when our minds act positively. Remember there is no secret of success, it’s a matter of preparation. Make your life take a concern look at yourself and aim for high goals and constantly strive to achieve them. Definiteness of purpose, combined with a positive mental attitude, is the starting point of all worthwhile achievement. Your environment will be changed whether or not you choose to change it. But you have the power to choose its direction. So, you have to select your own targets. The more you think about your goals the more enthusiastic you become. And with enthusiasm your desire turns into a burning desire.
ii. How to picture yourself as successful person
Think, react or behave as if you are already a successful man or woman, the more you think positively and act as you already have what you want in your life the more you give chance good things to enter into your life and catch you. Identifying yourself as a successful person can help you to break the habits of self-doubt and defeat which years of negative mental attitudes set up within you. And also, can inspire you to make the right decisions. So, when you face a serious problem or decision, ask a question to your picture and listen for the answer.
iii. Networking your thought to success
Start with a meeting of the minds and many needless misunderstandings will be avoided, there is a so-called that the good voice, good thoughts, and good actions are the friend of God. So, prepare a meeting in your mind with good thoughts and actions then deriver them with a good voice and enthusiastically to your fellows. Let’s do things in accurate thinking with a positive mental attitude, remember action based on common sense is the result of more than just one reason. It depends upon habit of thought and action, intuitions, experiences, and other influences such as tendencies and environment.
We have to coordinate our knowledge and effort, in the spirit of harmony if we wish to attain our goals.
iv. How to motivate yourself and others
Let’s learn to be both near sight and far sight in order to see the present or future potential capacities and abilities in yourself and others as well as their points of view. Let’s also learn to avoid seeing what we wish to see, and be able to differentiate hearing and listening. This will help us how we can relate and assimilate the principles of success in our own life. If you have something that incites to go into action for obtaining a specific result, you have also something that incites to motivate others, and vice versa. Remember every result has given cause, your every act is the result of a given cause. Your motive! Do good to yourself and others that is wasting nothing. Let’s give faith, confidence and encourage our fellows
v. Strategies to get wealth
Think with a positive mental attitude if you want to take a direct route to your wealth, this will enable you to use, control or harmonize with all your known and unknown powers. Remember if you have a positive mental attitude you can do it and if you believe you can.
Learn how to set your goals by crystallizing your thoughts and set time to achieve your objectives, also aim higher by asking yourself this helpful question; where you will be and what will be doing ten years from today if you keep doing what you are doing now? Remember if you set a goal, you are more apt to recognize things that will help you achieve it than if you didn’t set a goal. And the high you set your goal; the greater will be your achievement if you have a positive mental attitude. So set your goals and go into action.
Keep trying until you achieve the wealth you are seeking, remember success is achieved by those who try and maintained by those who keep trying with a positive mental attitude. Learn how to save at least a small amount from your income and after a period of time invest your savings by following expert’s advice for safe investment. And if you do not have money use other people’s money, and try to find the missing number to unlock the door to riches for yourself. Have the courage to face the truth. Remember to succeed in everything, it is necessary to engage in constructive thinking, study, learning and planning time with regularity.
vi. The journey to success
You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible. When your energy and activity level is up to standard, you are on your good track of course when you think and act with a positive mental attitude. To maintain your level of both physical and mental energy you need to exercise and feed both your body and mind.
You don’t need a new day to start over, you only need a new mindset, do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better. It’s not about having the skill to do something. It’s about having the will, desire and commitment to be your best. Challenge yourself to be who you know you are capable of being. Challenge yourself to live what you preach, to walk your talk.
Decide what is what you want. Write it down, make a plan, and work on it every single day. If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old, it does not matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop. Often in the real world, it’s not the smart who get ahead, but the bold. Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change. Remember natural talent only determines where you start. It’s dedication and discipline in your life that makes you great. The more you dream, the further you get. Don’t let life change your goals, because achieving your goals can change your life.
Keep smiling and enjoy the journey even when it’s like there’s no hope at all, everything will be alright.
vii. Get into action to your success
The distance between your dream and reality is called action and the road to success is lined with many tempting parking spaces. Wake up each day determined, and go to bed satisfied. You are destined for greatness. Have a dream and follow it, have a plan and stick to it, have a goal and achieve it. Remember the secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine. A person who really wants something will find a way; a person who doesn’t will find an excuse. let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings.
Life will always try to make things difficult for you, but every time you overcome obstacles, you come out stronger. Work until you no longer have to introduce yourself, keep away from people who belittle your ambitions, Small people do that you can become great. Don’t make excuses for why you can’t get it done. Focus on all the reasons why you must make it happen. Remember a great life isn’t about big things, it’s about the small things that make a big difference. Choose to learn well not fast and Reward efforts plus actions, work hard and get important tasks done. The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday. Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do. Keep pushing yourself forward, do whatever it takes, you will soon leap over the final hurdle and land right where you want to be. Never give up on what you really want to do, the person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts. If you do not challenge yourself, you will never realize what you can become.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
These ideas will help me to create a new way of living by attracting success using a positive mental attitude and also to live a meaningful and purposeful life. Of course, a healthy, happy and terrific life!
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“Anything in life worth having is worth working for.”
All achievement and all earned success, have their beginning in an idea. If you know what you want, you are more apt to recognize it when you see it. So, you really want something, you have to work hard for it. Remember you get self-satisfaction from pushing yourself to the limit, knowing that all the effort is going to pay off.
“Success is achieved and maintained by those who try and keep high goals with PMA.”
If you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed. Hard work beats talent, when talent fails to work hard, it’s not about having the skill to do something. It’s about having the will, desire and commitment to be your best and It does not matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop. Life will always try to make things difficult for you, but every time you overcome obstacles, you come out stronger. Don’t make excuses for why you can’t get it done, focus on all the reasons why you must make it happen. Remember you haven’t lost until you quit.
“ I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.”
You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel. Don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning. And stop trying to be someone you are not, be unique, be special, be yourself.
When our attitude toward ourselves is big, and our attitude towards others is generous and merciful, we attract big and generous portions of success.
The more we chase negative things in our lives, the more we give chance to the good things to enter in our lives. do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better. Be you. Do you? For you.
“If life hands us a problem, it hands us also the abilities with which to meet the problem.”
No matter who you are and what happens in your life, you still have the chance to turn your life around and be great. Pain makes you stronger, tears make you braver, and heartbreaks makes you wiser, so thank the past for a better future.
“When I am faced with a problem that involves a misunderstanding with another person, I must first start with myself.”
Sometimes the only thing that people see is what you did when in fact they should be looking at why you did it, so don’t let anyone stop you from being the best person you can be. We do not always need an intelligent mind that speaks, just a patient heart that listens. Remember relationships get stronger when both of you are willing to understand mistakes and try to rectify, also to forgive each other.
“Direct your thoughts with PMA, control your emotions, and ordain your destiny.”
We don’t always choose what happens to us, but we can choose to see it as positive, to believe it is for the best, and to use it to grow. Always say what you mean and mean what you say, express how you feel and don’t ever apologize for being real. You can’t control everything, sometimes you just need to relax and have faith things will work out, and let life happen. Don’t let yourself be controlled by three things; people, money or past experiences. Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings. Remember the secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine and One small positive thought can change your whole day. So, once you control your mind, you can conquer your body. So, take control of your destiny, believe in yourself, ignore those who try to discourage you, avoid negative sources, people and habits.
“ In your search for something, you may fail. But in failing you may succeed in discovering something even greater.”
Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before. Losing is a learning experience, it teaches you humility, it teaches you to work harder, it’s also a powerful motivation. And remember that Some of the most beautiful paths can’t be discovered without first getting lost.
“My mistake was being with the wrong companions; my major sin was associating with people who were bad.”
You will never truly understand something until it actually happens to you, sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly in the path of the best things that will ever happen to us. Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for the person we wish to become and you can’t go back and change the past, so look to the future and don’t make the same mistake twice.
A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances, instead of your circumstances having power over you. So, don’t let anyone stop you from being the best person you can be and don’t let someone else’s opinion change how you feel about something. Stand by what you believe in. If you are being true to yourself and it isn’t enough for the people around you, maybe it’s time to change the people around you. You are not what happened to you, you are what you choose to become. Remember when you stop choosing the wrong things, you give the good things a chance to catch you. So, surround yourself with those who see greatness in you, even when you don’t see it in yourself and never change, just learn to be a better person.
“We need to learn how to look at our world with fresh eyes, seeing the opportunities that lie everything about us but simultaneously looking into the future for the chances that are there.”
We don’t always choose what happens to us, but we can choose to see it as positive, to believe it is for the best, and to use it to grow. Looking your problems as problems and they will continue to hold you down. See them as blessings in disguise and that’s what they truly become. Life is not about the mistakes we’ve made, it’s about the lessons we’ve learned and the friends we’ve gained. When you face difficult times, know that challenges are not sent to destroy you, they are sent to promote, increase and strengthen you. So, keep smiling and enjoy the journey even when it’s like there’s no hope at all, everything will be alright. Just because it’s not what you were expecting, doesn’t mean it’s not everything you’ve been waiting for. Remember nothing is ever wrong; we learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be proud of you.
“To hear does not necessarily imply attention or application. To listen always does.”
Sometimes we don’t need advice, just someone to listen. Try to be a good listener, your ears will never get you in trouble. Remember everyone deserves someone who makes them look forward to tomorrow.
“Speak not but what you may benefit others or yourself, avoid trifling conversation.”
The best lesson one can learn is how to remain calm. Speak what you mean and mean what you speak, sometimes to speak nothing doesn’t mean you are coward, it means you are courageous enough to look at imperfections.
“Where will you be and what will you be doing ten years from today if you keep on doing what you are doing now?”
The old ways do not open the new doors. If you keep doing what you have always done, then you will keep getting what you have always gotten. Your decisions today will have repercussions on your future, so setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible. Dreams won’t come looking for you. That’s why you have to choose them. Pursue them until they become reality. And then hold on tightly. Risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical, expect more than others think is possible. Keep pushing yourself forward, do whatever it takes, you will soon leap over the final hurdle and land right where you want to be. Remember discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.
“If you believe you can do it, most of the time you can. It’s mind over matter.”
When you truly want something and go after it without limiting yourself with disbelief, it will happen. That means what the mind of a man can conceive and believe with positive mental attitude, the mind of man can achieve it. Try to remove in your mind the word it can’t, that word is for cowards.
“You know me, you are inside me, you are my blood, you are my life, you are my everything. There is but one mind, one principle, one substance in the universe, and I am one will all else. If I die, I don’t lose anything, I just change form. But I am only twenty years old. Dear God, I’m not afraid to die but I’m willing to live. If you choose to give me life, someday, somehow, I’ll be able and willing through your mercy to lead a better life and to help others.”
Very touched prayer that everyone must adopt. Truly this can turn impossible into possible, invisible into visible and hardship into happy life.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
Not, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, and I tried my best.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9
Awaken the Giant Within
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author in this book is trying to open our mind by telling us the only way of making our dreams come true is to wake up, overcome the fear within and get into action then let the destiny happen. We have to know that dreams won’t come looking for you. That’s why you have to choose them. Pursue them until they become reality. Then hold on tightly, remember the distance between your dream and reality is called action.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. Overcome the fear within and let the destiny happen.
Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. Life will always try to make things difficult for you, but every time you overcome obstacles, you come out stronger. You get self-satisfaction from pushing yourself to the limit, knowing that all the effort is going to pay off. Sometimes you have to do instead of think, because if you do nothing, you can be sure nothing will change and it’s time for change! Hard work beats talent, when talent fails to work hard. To have a great life, break the bars of the cage that is jailing you; give love, talk only about what you love, and love will set you free! Pain is the little voice in your head that tries to hold you back because it knows if you continue, you will change so don’t make excuse for why you can’t get it done just Focus on all the reasons why you must make it happen and don’t let the fear of losing be greater than the excitement of winning. Your decisions today will have repercussions on your future. Worry less, smile more, don’t regret, just learn and grow. Take control of your destiny, believe in yourself, ignore those who try to discourage you, avoid negative sources, people and habits and don’t fear failure, believe in yourself and create your own destiny.
ii. The resource we need to turn our dreams into reality is within us.
To be a wake-up call that will challenge those who are committed, loving and being more to tape their God-given power. Merely waiting for the day when we decide to wake up and claim our bright right. We must have to learn to work harder on ourselves than we do on our job. The things we share for our future must be bigger than our surroundings or circumstances, and let fuel your desire to grow. So, we have to be wise to look for the opportunity in adversity and learn from it because God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we would not learn in any other way.
iii. How to create lasting change
For making a lasting personal change we have to raise our standard, this will help us to know all things we would no longer accept in our life, all things we would no longer tolerate and all the things that we aspired to becoming. Making a lasting will demand also to change our limiting beliefs. Our belief is like unquestioned commands that tell us how things are, what’s possible and what’s impossible, what we can and cannot do. They shape every action, every thought and every feeling that we experience. Changing our belief systems is central to making any real and lasting change in our lives, we must develop a sense of certainty that we can and will meet the new standards before we actually do. Empowering beliefs, this sense of certainty is the force behind any great success throughout history. We need to set and live by these standards no matter what happens in our life. Also making a lasting personal change we have to change our strategy. A better way of changing our beliefs is to find a role model and tap into their knowledge, learn what they are doing, what their core beliefs are and how they think. So, in order to keep our commitment, we need the best strategies for achieving results.
iv. The secret of creating quality relationships.
The greatest resource is a relationship because it opens the doors to every resource, we all need because this will help in discovering what we value most highly, what our expectations are, the rule by which we play the game of life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity and responsibility to give something back by becoming more. Remember in everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. So, we should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
v. Decision making.
Success is the result of good judgement, good judgement is the result of experience, and experience is often the result of bad judgement. These seemingly bad or painful experiences are sometimes the most important. We must commit to learn from our mistakes, rather than beating ourselves up, or we are destined to make the same mistakes again in the future. If we didn’t get the results we wanted, we have to learn from the experience so that we have references about how to make better decisions in the future. One of the most important decisions we can make to ensure our long-term happiness is to decide to use whatever life gives us in the moment. Using power of decision gives us the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every pan of our life in an instant.
True decisions are a catalyst for turning our dreams into reality. In order to get where we want, we have to decide what we want, take action, notice what’s working or not, change our approach until we achieve what we want. If we simply decide what it is we want, get ourselves to take action, learn from it and change our approach. Then we will create the momentum to achieve the result. Making a true decision means committing to achieving a result, and then cutting ourselves off from any other possibility. The way to make better decisions, the more we’ll realize that we truly are in control of our life. We’ll look forward to future challenges and we’ll see them as an opportunity to make new distinctions and move our life to the next level. If we decide what to focus on, what things mean to us, and what to do to create the result we desire, this can shape our destiny. It’s not what happens to us now or what happened in our past that determines who we become. Rather it’s our decision about what to focus on, what things mean to us, and what we are going to do about them that will determine our ultimate destiny.
vi. Changing our state and those of others by using properly our vocabularies.
If we don’t like the result, we’re getting in our communication, with others, take a closer look at the words we are using and become more selective. Select the words that empower our critical, take control, notice the words we habitually use and replace them with ones that empower us, raising or lowering the emotional intensity as appropriate.
As Jose Ortega said” that the metaphor is perhaps one of man’s most fruitful potentialities, its efficacy verges on magic and it seems a tool for creation which God forgot inside one of his creatures when he made him.” So, try to use metaphors and take control of metaphors we are using and create a new world for ourselves; a world of possibility, of richness, of wonder and joy. Once we’ve mastered the creative art of grafting metaphors, transforming vocabulary and asking empowering questions, we are ready to harness.
vii. How to make our emotions work for us.
If the message our emotions are trying to deriver is ignored, the emotions simply increase their amperage, their intensity until we finally pay attention. Trying to deny our emotions is not the solution, we have to understand them and using them is the strategy.
A much more powerful and healthy approach to dealing with the emotions that we think are painful is to realize that they serve as a positive purpose and that is. If we want to make our life really work, we must make our emotions work for us. we must learn from our emotions and use them to create the result we want for a greater quality of life.
The powerful way to handle any emotion is to remember a time when we left a similar emotion and realise that we’ve successfully handled this emotion before. Since we handled it in the past, surely, we can handle it again today. The better way for handling the emotion is to identify what we were really feeling, appreciated the emotion instead of fighting, gotten curious about what it really meant and lesson it was offering us, learned from it, figured out how to turn things around by modelling our successful past strategies for handling the emotions and rehearsed dealing with it in the future situation and installed a sense of certainty and also get excited and take action.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
These ideas will help me particularly in personal change and grow also in making my dreams come true in order to change the world for a better place to live in.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
Below are some touched statements made by author:
“A consistent man believes in destiny, a capricious man in chance.”
Controlled focus is like a laser beam that can cut through anything that seems to be stopping you. When we focus consistently on improvement in any area, we develop unique distinctions on how to make that area better. One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus, we never concentrate our power. So, we have to believe that our creator doesn’t play favourites that we’ve all been created unique, but with equal opportunities for experiencing life to the fullest. It is the invisible hand that guides us. No matter where we are in our life, we want more. No matter how well we are already doing or how challenged we are now maybe, deep inside we lies a belief that our experience of life can and will be much greater than it already is.
“How am I going to live the next ten years of my life? How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I’m committed to? What am I going to stand for from now on? What is important to me right now, and what will be important to me in the long-term? What action can I take today that will shape my ultimate destiny?”
Indeed, this is a good and powerful series of questions each one must think about if he/she wants a different tomorrow and sustainable long-term goal. It is also a positive mental attitude each one can adopt. Because it is not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.
“True decisions are the catalyst for turning our dreams into reality.”
Life is like a river and that most people jump on the river of life without ever really deciding where they want to end up. If we simply decide what we want, get ourselves to take action, learn from it and change our approach, then we will create the momentum to achieve the result. Making a true decision means committing to achieving a result, and then cutting ourselves off from any other possibility. So, to make a better decision is to make more of them. Because the more often we make decisions, the more we’ll realize that we truly are in control of our life. We’ll look forward to future challenges, and we’ll see them as an opportunity to make new distinctions and move our life to the next level. Remember profound knowledge is a simple distinction, strategy, belief, skills, or tool that the minute we understand it, we can apply it to make immediate increase in the quality of our lives.
“We must commit to learn from our mistakes, rather than beating ourselves up, or we are destined to make the same mistakes again in the future.”
If we didn’t get the results we wanted, we have to learn from this experience so that we have a reference about how to make better decisions in the future.
“What appeared to be impossible in the short term turned into a phenomenal example of success and happiness in the long-term.”
In order to succeed, we need to discipline ourselves to consistently think long-term. Human spirit truly is unconquerable, but the will to win, the will to succeed, the will to shape one’s life, to take control can only be harnessed when we decide what we want and believe that no challenge, no problem, no obstacles can keep us from it.
“Everything you and I do; we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure.”
Trying to change our behaviours, which is the effect instead of dealing with the causes behind it. The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use us. If we do that we are in control of our life, if we don’t life controls us. Most of us are led by our hearts than by our understanding. We have to be aware of the power that pain and pleasure exert over every decision and therefore every action that we take. In order to succeed most of the things that we value require us to be able to break through the wall of short-term pain in order to have long-term pleasure. we must put aside the passing moment of terror and temptation and focus on what’s most important in the long-term; our values and personal standards. It’s not the pain that drives us, but our fear that something will lead to pain. And it’s not the pleasure that drives us, but our belief, our sense of certainty that somehow taking a certain action will lead to pleasure. We are not driven by reality but our perception of reality. We must make sure that we live our lives in the present and respond to things that are real, not to our fears of what one was or what might someday be.
“Beliefs are what make the difference between a lifetime of joyous contribution and one of misery and devastation. Beliefs are what separate a Mozart from a Manson, beliefs are what cause some individuals to become heroes, while others lead of quiet desperation.”
If we want to create long and consistent changes in our behaviours, we must change the belief that is holding us back. Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Also, drugs are not always necessary, but belief in recovery always is. If we want to direct our lives, we must take conscious control over our belief. And in order to do that, we first need to understand what they really are and how they are formed. If we develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then we can get ourselves to accomplish virtually anything including those things that other people are certain as impossible.
“How we deal with adversity and challenges will shape our lives more than almost anything else.”
No matter what happens in our life, we’ve got to be able to believe this too shall pass and that if we keep persisting, we’ll find a way. All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. Beliefs are like possessions and convictions are simply more valued possessions which allow an individual to passionately work toward either large-scale or individual completion of goals, projects, wishes and desire.
“We are what we think, all that we are arises with our thoughts, with our thoughts we make our world.”
The key to success is developing a sense of certainty, the kind of belief that allows us to expand as a person and take the necessary action to make our life and the lives of those around even greater. Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning we give it.
The beginning of habit is like an invisible thread, but every time we repeat the act, we strengthen the stand, add to it another filament, until it becomes a great cable and binds us irrevocably through thought and act. If you and I want to change our behaviour, there is only one effective way to do it; we must link unbearable and immediate sensations of pain to our old behaviour, and incredible and immediate sensation of pleasure to a new one.
“Experience is not what happen to a man, it is what a man does with what happen to him.”
The first skill we must master is to be able to change our state instantly no matter what the environment, no matter how scared or frustrated we are. So, we have to learn how to effectively change our state from being afraid and knowing we can’t do something, to knowing we can do it and being able to take effective action. We should also be able to change state consistently in any environment. Maybe in an environment that used to make us uncomfortable, but in which we can now self until we feel good no matter where we are. Lastly establish a set of habitual patterns of using our physiology and focus so that we consistently feel good without any conscious state in any environment and change our state for our whole life.
“Quality questions create a quality life.”
Relationships flourish when people ask the right question about where potential conflict exists and how to support each other instead of tearing each other down. Remember politicians win election when the questions they raise, whether explicitly or implicitly provide answers that work for them and their community. So, the question we ask will determine where we focus, how we think, how we feel and what we do.
“Just because you don’t see immediate results from your current actions, it does not mean you are making progress.”
Right now, it’s winter and we want it to be summer but God has a different plan. Sometimes we just have to trust that God knows how to make butterflies better than we do. And when we are caterpillars, sometimes we don’t even realise that butterflies exist because they are up above us, but maybe we should just remember that they are there.
“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible, the foundation for all success in life.”
The conception of our goals is the master plan that guides all thought, all goals setting must be immediately followed by both the development of a plan and massive and consistent action toward its fulfilment. It is not just getting goals that matters, but the quality of life we experience along the way. Heading is more important than individual results, if we continue to head in the right direction, we may not only achieve the goals we are pursuing but a lot more. Goals done can inspire, but knowing the deepest reasons why we want them in the first place can provide us with long-lasting drive and motivation necessary to persist and achieve. Achieving goals by themselves will never make us happy in the long term, it’s who we become, as we overcome the obstacles necessary to achieve our goals, that can give us the deepest and most long-lasting sense of fulfilment.
“Values guide our every decision and therefore our destiny.”
These who know their values and live by them become the leader of our society. If we want the deepest level of life fulfilment, we can achieve it in only one way. By deciding upon what we value most in life, what our highest values are, and then committing to live by them every single day. We must live by our principles even when it rains on our parade even if no one gives us the support we need. The only way for us to have long term happiness is to live by our highest ideals, to consistently act in accordance with what we believe our life is truly about. But we can’t do this if we don’t clearly know what our values are. Getting things simply will not fulfil us, only living and doing what we believe is the right thing. Will give us that sense of inner strength that we all deserve. The only way we can ever feel happy and fulfilled in the long term is to live in accordance with our true values.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
Not, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, and I tried my best.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10
Creating your Path through Leadership
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
IIGL family members are trying to testify to the good real-life transformation gained from IIGL training. The common one is how to become an effective leader. Also the same observation for Deb Rosen that IIGL members have in common the same vision for the world and many of the same values related to peace-building and leadership.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
Testimonies, thoughts, advises and techniques in this book are all empowered at the level in which to choose only seven are not easy thing, but here are some;
i. Never allow someone’s opinion to lose your sight.
As Michael Lightweaver the funder of IIGL advise us that “in every seeming adversity there is the seed of an equal or greater benefit. It may take time to manifest, but it is there. Simply put, every challenge carries a gift.”
Circumstances are essentially neutral. It’s our belief and attitude that give them meaning, and It’s the meaning we give them which causes our emotional or physical reaction. He mentioned again that it’s also better to light a candle, however small, than to curse the darkness. True indeed, everything is relative, especially good and evil. It depends on the people you meet and how you listen to them. So, challenge yourself to be who you know you are capable of being. Challenge yourself to live what you preach, to walk your talk. No matter who you are and what happens in your life, you still have the chance to turn your life around and be great. do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better. Don’t let someone else’s opinion change how you feel about something. Stand by what you believe in. Remember the future belongs to the curious. The ones who are not afraid to try it, explore it, poke at it, question it, and turn it inside out.
ii. Discovering our leadership within.
Most of us wish to become effective leaders in order to change our communities, our lovely counties, and the world in general. But before doing all we have to change ourselves; we have to know that leadership is about taking responsibility.
As my fellow Noeline Kirabo from Uganda said, “that discovering your leadership potential is a journey, not a one time discovery, it’s something you keep working on and unveiling with time. All begins with a desire to make a difference by using the opportunities and resources available. If you are passionate about creating a better world, providing solutions and empowering others to live. Without hesitating you have the leadership gift within and all you need to do is to develop it.”
The fine way to unearth your leadership potential is by surrounding yourself with the leaders who are passionate about creating positive influences. The people you surround yourself with have a huge impact on your vision and manifestation of your potential, as you will be continually challenged to aim higher, thereby expanding your capacity.
It’s impossible to develop what you are unaware of, hence the importance of discovering what kind of leader you can be, your unique abilities, available opportunities and how you can use them to be a force for change. The clear you are about your identity as a leader, the easier it becomes to learn from others. So, discovering leadership potential is the first step for your development.
As also Ziyad R. Abdule said that “everything rises and falls on leadership.” Leadership truly develops from the inside out. If we can become the leaders, we ought to be on the inside, we will be able to become the leaders we want to be on the outside. People will want to follow us and when that happens, we will be able to tackle anything in this world.
iii. How to become a great speaker and listener.
According to the thoughts of Ethelbert Obinna Umeh from Nigeria, effective communication is not just a learned skill, it is also an art which can be perfect and fine-tuned over time. It is also a key to success. Our ability to communicate effectively determines our success in life. When we speak, people are listening and at the same time evaluating us positively based on our capacity to communicate effectively.
He mentioned also that good leaders use the power of communication to bring transformative change to their communities and nations. Highly effective communication speaks the right thing at the right time, their words are always welcomed by the audience, with joyful hope, because they exhibit trust. They know that it is better for them to delay speaking until they are certain about something, rather than say something that is untrue and/ or bring violence or civil unrest. Improving our effective communication skills will transform all areas of our life.
iv. Knowing our real identity.
Never allow yourself to be defined by someone else’s opinion, you are not what happened to you, you are what you choose to become. All that matters is that you know who you are, let other people keep on wondering. You may not always be perfect, but you are always you. If you do not challenge yourself, you will never realize what you can become.
As Charles Kabera from Rwanda said that, “I have built a new positive and realistic self, and I am now the person I wanted to be by focusing on desired change instead of dwelling on past mistakes. I have learnt not to criticize, condemn, or complain. But to give honest and sincere appreciation to become genuinely interested in other people, to smile, always to be a good listener, to encourage others to talk about themselves, to talk in terms of other people’s interests to make others feel important and do it sincerely. I am now dominated by love, respect, understanding, appreciation, compassion and concern for others rather than being self-centred, greedy, negative, prejudiced, suspicious and aggressive. I now take such challenge merely as a test which permits me to discover the nature of my thoughts and their relation to my life’s purpose.’’
This is a good reflection of a conscious man/woman that every person who wants to find his/her identity can adopt. So, to find your real identity you have to look in the mirror and find who you really are, discover facets of your personality that are deeply hidden, and gain your true confidence. All that matters is that you know who you are, and let other people keep on wondering. You were born to be real, not to be perfect, you are here to be you, not to live someone else’s life.
v. Total transformation
Life has so many different chapters, one bad chapter does not mean it’s the end of the book. Don’t spend today worrying why yesterday was bad, spend it planning on how to make tomorrow better. Every single day you should wake up and commit yourself to becoming a better person. Remember, the struggle you are in today is developing your strength for tomorrow. So, smile like you’ve never cried, fight like you’ve never lost, love like you’ve never hurt, live like there’s no tomorrow. Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life.
As mentioned by Erick Omari from Kenya that, “even in a dumpsite can grow a beautiful rose before you cook beans you go through a selection process in which all the seemingly bad beans are thrown away so only the good beans remain for cooking. But rain comes, the bad beans you threw away in the backyard become seeds, germinate, and grow into beautiful crops with luscious leaves.”
You may be judged, despised and discarded today, but the judges will turn to you in your moment of glory. Your rain could be a matter of time, your germination moment could be just around the corner, there is always something good from the dumpsite. Don’t try to compare yourself too much to others, you have your own strengths which you can search and build on. You may make better stew than others, smile always. Never look down on yourself, keep looking up, broken crayons still colour.
vi. True happiness
Happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands but let it go, and you will learn at once how big and precious it is. The moment you start living for yourself with all the perfection and imperfections you begin a journey of true happiness. A good life is when you smile often, dream big, laugh a lot and realize how blessed you are for what you have, Happiness comes when you stop complaining about the troubles you have and give thanks for all the troubles you don’t have. Because happiness is not something you postpone for the future, it’s something you design for the present. So, hate less, Love more. Worry less, Dance. Take less, Give more. Frown less, Smile more. Talk less, Listen more. Fear less, Accept more. Judge less, Accept more. Watch less, do more. Copy less, Create more. Complain less, Thank more.
vii. Going beyond our goals to create our destiny.
Tom Landry said that “setting a goal is not the main thing, it is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan.” Dreaming and wishing for a better life is commonplace for many people but unfortunately most never realize their goals and the dreams remain just that. Also, les brown said that “shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you land among the stars.”
You have to go beyond your dreams and your plan in order to land where we wish to be landed even if you miss today does mean that tomorrow will be the same. Believe in yourself, have faith and confidence, work hard and see how a miracle is going to happen to you. Okpe Emmanuel from Nigeria mentioned that, “thought shapes our character, influences circumstance, impacts positively or negatively our health and plays a pivotal role in our achievements.”
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The ideas, methods, and techniques in this book will help me to live a meaningful life completely. By integrating these ideas and methods into my daily life will make me feel happier, healthier and more self-confident. Will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-direction, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to achieve my goals. They will teach me how to unlock the great untapped reserves of potential that lie deep within me and they will also propel my whole life onto a high road of success, achievement and great happiness.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“ When we are among the trees it is hard to see the forest.”
It is only from a cosmic perspective, or often down the road a bit that we can bring things into perspective and see the real benefit of a situation or circumstances in our individual lives or in the life of the world.
“The universe supports our every belief and attitude.”
If we want to feel we are victims, we have that freedom and people will constantly abuse us. We also have the freedom to reframe each of our experiences and see how they have helped us to stretch and grow in wisdom and maturity. We can choose to see each situation happening to us.
“Leaders breeds leaders.”
One of the quickest ways to unearth your leadership potential is by surrounding yourself with leaders who are passionate about creating positive influences, because the energy of such people will inevitably rub off on you. The people you surround yourself with have a huge impact on your vision and manifestation of potential, as you will be continually challenged to aim higher, thereby expanding your capacity.
“Llifelong learning has got to do with being open and committed for life to learning outside the formal educational system.”
Viewing every opportunity that life offers as a learning opportunity. Each day we are presented with numerous learning opportunities and if you are eager to learn, life will teach you much on a daily basis.
“The greatest leader I could ever be is the best version of me.”
You can truly benefit others when you have a clear sense of who you are and what makes you unique. Knowing yourself includes awareness of the personality, strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, experiences and skills that distinguish you from others. Who you are defines the type of leadership style that you embody? Your leadership potential will be fully unveiled when you begin to walk in the authenticity of who you are. Be you, and others will want to reflect you, be original not a photocopy.
“If a person relies too much on formal education without personal development, success can be limited or slowed.”
Personal development helps a man to go the extra mile, transform his community, become daring, be focused, exhibit enormous faith, live with courage, lead a life of persistence, courage, wisdom, vision, integrity, value, sincerity and determination.
“The moment you start living life for yourself with all the perfections and imperfections you begin a journey of true happiness.”
Sometimes rather than live our truth, our journey becomes more of a dress rehearsal, it becomes a stage display, we eventually become elites or masters in living other people’s truth, and we put on a mask that is entirely void of authenticity filled with abundance that encompasses our ability to not just follow our path but also appreciate the journey of others around us.
“Successful people have two things on their lips; a smile and silence.”
The smile can solve a problem, silence can avoid them. Sugar and salt may be mixed together but ants reject the salt and carry away only the sugar. Select the right people in life and make your life better and sweeter. If you fail to achieve your dreams, change your ways.
“The longer you look at a picture, the stronger it becomes in your mind and the faster your mind and circumstances around you will seek to produce it.”
Surround yourself with an actual picture of your desired future and focus on them regularly and long enough so that your mind gets a strong grip of it. Your outward result is determined by your inward imagination, it must begin within before it can manifest externally. Beyond every doubt, you will arrive there with time.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
Not, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
No, the book did not contain exercises.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1–10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 8
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9
Maximum Achievement
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author in this book is trying to teach us how to unlock our individual potential for personal greatness in order to become more positive, persuasive, and powerfully focused in everything we do and also, to achieve our life’s purpose by becoming a loving person.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
The whole book has a very interesting ideas, thoughts, methods and techniques which are personally most important to me but here select the most deeply touched my heart:
i. The way of becoming the artist of our own life.
Life is the art of drawing without eraser, so it’s your choice to choose which colour you are going to paint to make your life a masterpiece. Life is also like a combination lock, only with more numbers, if you turn to the right number in the right sequence the lock will open for you. It’s not a miracle, nor does it depend on luck, it doesn’t even matter who you are as long as you have the right numbers. So, it’s your responsibility to choose the proper combination of thoughts and actions that will enable you to accomplish almost anything you really want, and you can find that combination if you search for it.
As Abraham Lincoln said “you can’t help the poor by becoming one of them”, you could not give away what you didn’t have, you couldn’t make someone else happy by being miserable yourself.
The key to happiness is to systematically eliminate or at least minimize, the part of your life that causes you negativity or stress of any kind. So, the way to live a happy, productive life is to achieve your own peace of mind by systematically eliminating the negative people, situations and emotions that make you unhappy.
ii. Understanding different laws
If you try to violate natural law you get caught every single trial, but man-made law can be violated with or without being caught. Remember success begins with you exercising your power of choice to take systematic, purposeful control over the thoughts you hold in your conscious mind. So, you have to discipline yourself to think and talk only what you want and by refusing to dwell upon the things that you don’t want.
You have to see yourself as an active creative influencer in your own life then free yourself accident, be aware of the role of your thoughts in directing the course of your life by knowing that nothing happens by accident, even if you can’t see clearly where your life is going at the moment, just believe in your dreams to be reality and expect more by becoming more optimistic and cheerful as well as calm and relaxed.
The more you think of yourself and your life as uniquely blessed and important, the more you attract to yourself the ideas, opportunities and people that make your dreams come true. See yourself as a special person put on this earth with a special purpose and your outer world of relationship, health, work and material accomplishment begin to reflect your inner attitude of mind. Begin to make all your words, feelings, actions and even your body language fit a pattern consistent with your new self-concept and your new goals. Try to replace negative thoughts of fear, anger and self-doubt out of your mind by holding thoughts of faith, hope and love. Dwell on thoughts of courage and confidence, of hope and love and on the wonderful future life has in store for you. Your greatest need is to be patient, calm and trusting. Whatever you want, wants you also, whatever you desire is moving toward you right now, just as you are moving toward it.
iii. The goals setting principles
You will never be happy or satisfied until you find your heart’s desire and commit your life to it. You don’t need to move across the country or to make a major upheaval in your life. In most cases, what you are looking for is right at your fingertips. But it doesn’t look like an opportunity on the surface. So, you need a variety of goals in your life in order to perform at your best, in order to make your life one continuous stream of progress and achievement.
You have to select one goal at which, if you accomplish it, would do the most to help you to achieve all your other goals so that this goal becomes your mission, the organizing principle for all your other activities. Your goals must be mutually supportive and mutually reinforcing, they must make you stretch without being overwhelming and you should have concrete goals that you can measure and evaluate objectively and also you must set goals for today and for five, ten, and even twenty years from today. You must reach the point in your own mind where you know beyond the shadow of your doubt that you can accomplish any goal you set for yourself.
To maximize your goal achieving ability, you need a method, you need a proven process that you can use over and over, with any goal in any situation, to bring all the powers of your mind to bear on accomplishing whatever it is you desire. You must be absolutely clear about what it is that you want to be, to have or to do. What is your major definite purpose? What are your overarching goals? If you were guaranteed success in any one area, what would you want to accomplish. You must nurture your faith and belief until they deepen into an absolute conviction that your goal is attainable. You have also to write it down, when you write a goal down on a piece of paper, you crystallize it. You make it something concrete and tangible. You make it something that you pick up and look at and hold and touch and feel. You have taken it out of your imagination and put it into a form that you can do something with. When you discipline yourself to write your goals down, the very act overrides your failure mechanism and turns your success mechanism on to full power.
Make a list of all the benefits, tangible and intangible, that you can possibly enjoy as a result of achieving your goal. You will find that, the longer the list, the more motivated and determined you will become. Also set a deadline, when you set a deadline for a tangible goal, you program it into your mind and activate your subconscious forcing system which ensures that you accomplish your goal by date at the last. If your major definite purpose has a two, three or five years deadline, your next step is to break your goal down into ninety day sub-goals, then break the ninety-day goals down into thirty-day goals. Then make a list of all obstacles that stand between you and the accomplishment of your goal, remember wherever great success is possible, great obstacles exist and obstacles are the flip side of success and achievement. Identify the additional skills you will need to achieve your goal, you have to make a list of all the information, talents, skills, abilities and experience that you will need and then make a plan to learn, buy, rent or borrow this information or skill as quickly as you can. Then make a list of all the people whose help and cooperation you will require in our daily life to accomplish anything worthwhile, you will need the help and cooperation of many people, no one succeeds alone. write out what you want, when you want it, why you want it and where you are starting from. Make a list of obstacles you must overcome, the information you will require and the people whose help you will need. Then create a clear mental picture of your goal as it would appear if it were already achieved, then after making a decision in advance that you will never give up. You have to develop the ability to persevere in the face of the inevitable obstacles and difficulties you will face. Sometimes your ability to persist is what it takes to overcome the most difficult obstacles.
iv. Dealing and handling with people
Most of your joy in life comes from your happy relationships with other people and the most of your problems in life come from unhappy relationships with them. Most of your problems in life are people problems! Your personality is healthy to the degree to which you deliberately look for the good in each person and each situation and how you can get along easily with many different kinds of people.
The more you like and respect yourself, the more you will like and respect others. The more you consider yourself to be a valuable and worthwhile person the more you consider others to be valuable and worthwhile as well. The more you accept just as you are, the more you accept others just as they are. You get almost everything in your relationship with others more easily by approaching them indirectly rather than directly, you can also improve the health of your own personality by taking every opportunity to improve the health of the personality of others. Each time you express a kindness toward another person, your own self-esteem improves, your own personality becomes more positive and healthier. If you become an agreeable and easy person to get along with, you create far less resistance in other people to help you or to getting along with you and whenever you express gratitude or appreciation toward another person for anything that the other person has done, you make him or her feel more valuable, more competent and more worthwhile. Remember whenever your attention goes, your thoughts, your feelings, your life goes also. So, you always give more of your attention to the people and things that you value the most. The better you do things that are important to you, the more you like yourself and the more you like and respect yourself, the more comfortable and effective you are with others.
v. Dealing and handling with yourself
The choice of a mate, and the quality of your home and family life, determines your success as a human being, as much or more than any other factor. Remember you will be attracted to a person whose attitude and belief are in harmony with your own. Nature always demands balance and harmony. Remember your very best friends are those with whom you have easy conversations and are silent. If the two people like and respect each other, the relationship can endure indefinitely, so the starting point of a long-term romantic relationship is the feeling that you have met your best friend. Good communication requires both speaking and listening skills but excellent communication between a man and woman also requires an understanding of the major difference between them. What is important is not winning the argument or being right, but maintaining a successful relationship. What’s important is that you continue to love and respect others and live together in peace and harmony. If you do to your mate what you would like to see done to you, and if you refrain from doing or saying anything that you would not like your mate to do or say to you, you will be far more aware of the impact of your words and behavior.
When you stop trying to change the other person and just accept him or her unconditionally, he or she will begin to change as a result of his or her own choice. The rule is to always expect the best of your partner, always try to tell him or her that you have complete confidence and faith in his or her ability to do anything that he or she puts his or her mind to. If you find that the laughter and conversation are going out of your relationship, it’s time to take action, you should make every effort to rebuild the relationship, you should recognize that you have a serious life disrupting problem and sit down together and discuss it. You have to make every effort to recreate what you once had. You can put the love back into your relationship by once more doing the things that you did during courtship. You can start to be more caring, more attentive, more understanding and more sympathetic. Look into other people for the good qualities you once admired. Forgive and forget mistakes that the other person may have made.
vi. The way of creating your own family a paradise
The most important single role of parenting is to love and nurture your children and to build in them feelings of high self-esteem and self-confidence. The parents with low self-esteem have great difficulty giving more love to their children than they feel for themselves. That’s the cause of not having enough love in their family, also some parent’s feeling or perception that the children are failing to measure up to what the parents want them to be. So, the job of a parent is not to make them conform to any expectations, but to encourage them to develop their own uniqueness and individuality, and the child’s job is not to conform his or her parents’ expectations but to grow and flower and become everything he or she is capable of becoming.
When you celebrate and encourage the special nature and personality of your child, he or she grows like a flower in the sunshine. But if you try to get your child to be something he or she is not, your child’s spirit will wither and his or her potential for happiness and joy will shrivel like a leaf on a tree in autumn. So, look to yourself as the primary source of a child’s behaviour, because the apple never falls far from the tree. The most wonderful gift you can give your child is the absolute conviction that you love him or her completely, without reservation, no matter what he or she does and no matter what happens.
If you want to make your family as good as it can, you have to take time to discuss and agree upon matters together and encourage your family members to believe in themselves, encourage them to attempt more than they would in the absence of your words. You have to set a good example, to be a role model of the kind of person you want them to become. You have also to sit down with your family member, then take a deep breath and apologize to them for all the destructive criticism or physical punishment that you have ever used on them. Tell them that you are sorry for everything you’ve said or done that hurt them or made them feel bad about themselves in any way.
vii. Purpose of life
You achieve lasting fulfilment, self-expression and self-actualization in life to the exact degree to which you love and accept yourself and others unconditionally. Everything that happens to you happens as the result of the way you think, if you change and improve the quality of your thinking, you automatically change and improve the quality of your life.
When you respond to anger and negativity with love and kindness, you not only preserve your own emotional integrity and maintain a positive attitude but you also help the other person. There is nothing that so surprises a person as to have someone whom they are mistreating respond to them with gentleness, courtesy and kindness. It frees him or her to stop the critical behaviour and become a better person. Love is not only the answer, but it is the cure for most of life’s problems.
You can emphasize your good point and ignore the areas in which you may not be as good as someone else. You can like and respect yourself exactly as you are rather than as you would like to be someday. When you become a self-reliant, self-responsible individual, you refuse to blame or criticize others, or make excuses for things in your life that you don’t like. The better you take care of yourself, the more self-respect and self-love you have. Self-love makes you generous and big-hearted in everything you do. When you feel particularly good about yourself, you feel a greater sense of kindness, patience and friendship toward others, even strangers. Whenever you feel blessed in any way, you instinctively want to reach out to help others less fortunate.
You improve the quality of your life by increasing and improving your expression of love and kindness to the people in your world. So, when you become totally loving human beings, we will understand all, forgive all, and experience true joy in every part of your lives. Your purpose in life is to become a totally loving person, yours is what you make it by the priorities you set and the things you choose to focus your attention upon. So, your job is to live joyously and this is only possible by filling your mind with thoughts of love, compassion and forgiveness.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The ideas, methods, and techniques in this book will help me to change my life completely. By integrating these ideas and methods into my daily life will make me feel happier, healthier and more self-confident. Will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-direction, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to achieve my goals. They will teach me how to unlock the great untapped reserves of potential that lie deep within me and they will also propel my whole life onto a high road of success, achievement and great happiness.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“You can’t hit a target you can’t see.”
You can’t accomplish wonderful things with your life if you have no idea of what they are, you must first become absolutely clear about what you want if you are serious about unlocking the extraordinary power that lies within you.
“It is only when you understand and accept yourself that you can begin moving forward in the other areas of your life.”
To perform at your best, you need to know who you are and why you think and feel the way you do. You need to understand the force and influences that have shaped your character from earliest childhood. You need to know why you react and respond the way you do to the people and situation around you.
“Your mind and your life are like a room full of musicians, all playing different instruments and different tunes, and trying to get your attention. Your main goal in taking control of your life and your future is to become the conductor of your own orchestra.”
You must take control of the internal and external aspects of your life and get them all playing in harmony around a central theme of your own choosing. Your job is to play beautiful music with your life, to make your life a great performance.
“It is better to light one wee candle than to curse the darkness.”
It’s better by far to sit down and carefully analyse the reasons for your difficulties than to get upset and angry about them.
“The law of believe says that whatever you believe, with feeling becomes your reality.”
The more intensely that you believe something to be true, the more likely it is that it will be true for you. If you really believe something, you cannot imagine it to be otherwise. Your beliefs give you a form of tunnel vision, they edit out or cause you to ignore incoming information that is inconsistent with what you have decided to believe.
“All improvement in your life begins with an improvement in your mental pictures.”
Your mental pictures trigger thoughts, feelings, words and actions consistent with them. Visualization activates all the mental laws, including the law of attraction, drawing people and resources into your life to help translate your images into your realities.
“Walk, talk, and act exactly as if you were already the person you desire to be.”
Behave as if you have already achieved the goals you’ve set for yourself. Act as if you were recognized and respected by everyone, act as though you had money in the bank already.
“You become what you teach, you teach what you are.”
When you attempt to articulate and explain a new concept to someone else in order to help him or her, you understand it and internalize it better yourself. In fact, you only really know something to the degree to which you can teach it to someone else and have them understand and apply it in their own lives.
“Whenever things go wrong, or you feel unhappy for any reason you can neutralize the feelings with the words’ I like myself.”
Every time you say “I like myself” and especially when you say it with enthusiasm and conviction, your subconscious mind accepts it as command. It then works to override and cancel any previously recorded messages you may have taken in that are inconsistent with high self-esteem and peak performance.
“If you contribute hard work, helpfulness and honesty, you will get back riches, rewards and the respect of other people.”
By always doing more than you are paid for, you’ll eventually be paid more than you’re getting now. By putting more in you’ll get more out. By over contributing you’ll end up being overcompensated.
“Create a clear mental picture of your goals as it would appear if it were already achieved.”
Each time you visualize your goal as accomplished, you increase your desire and intensity, your belief that the goal is achievable for you and what you see is what you get.
“Nothing succeeds like success.”
You must develop a success habit by doing something every single day to move you toward your goals. Review them every morning and think about them every day. Always be looking for something you can do to contribute to their achievement.
“There are very few limitations on what you can accomplish. Most of them are self-imposed.”
They are the result of fears and doubts that stop you from trying and you can overcome these self-limiting beliefs by taking actions consistent with your major purpose.
“Whenever God wants to send you a gift, he wraps it up in a problem.”
The bigger the problem, the bigger the gift. Successful, happy people make a habit of looking into every most difficult situation for something positive, something they can learn or some way they can benefit and this very attitude often triggers a super-conscious insight or solution to their problem.
“Eliminate destructive self-criticism from your thoughts and your conversation.”
Refuse to say anything self-depreciating, refuse to say anything about yourself that you do not sincerely desire to be true, refuse to allow anyone else to speak to you in a negative way. If someone criticises you, simply say ‘’I would appreciate it if you do not speak to me like that because it’s not true.
“ Stress is not contained in what happens to you, it is the way you respond to what happens to you.”
You can choose to respond in a stressful way or you can choose to respond in a non stressful way. The starting point of stress management and the achievement of inner peace is for you to accept responsibility for your responses.
“The brave person is not the person without fear, but the person who acts in spite of his or her fear.”
When you face your fear and move toward them, they diminish and grow smaller. But when you back away from the person or situation you fear it grows until it can actually dominate your whole life. When you face your fear and move toward them, they diminish and grow smaller. But when you back away from the person or situation you fear it grows until it can actually dominate your whole life. You overcome the fear of failure by moving confidently in the direction of your dreams and acting as if it were impossible to fail.
“Never complain, never explain.”
Whatever you dwell upon grows in your reality, the more you complain, the more you find to complain about, and the more people you find to complain with. If you have a problem and there is something you can do about it, get busy and take action. If there is nothing you can do about it, you simply say what cannot be cured must be endured. Then get busy by doing what you can, but never complain.
“In a fully trusting relationship, you feel free to tell the other person things you have done in the past and what you are thinking and feeling in the present.”
In sharing yourself honestly, you develop a deeper understanding of your own humanity. You become more tolerant, more accepting and more compassionate toward the human frailties of other people. You develop parts of your personality that would have lain dormant in the absence of a fully loving relationship.
“If you are not happy and you cannot save the situation, then at least please your-self. Do what makes you happy, you can never make anyone else happy by being miserable yourself.”
Only happy people can make others happy. Never sacrifice yourself on the altar of someone else’s happiness. you end up achieving neither your own happiness nor the happiness of the other person.
“Only one life that soon passed. Only what’s done with love will last.”
When you look back over the landscape of your life, you will find your most precious assets are the thoughts and the memories of the people you’ve loved and who’ve loved you. Your biggest mistakes, your greatest regrets, are all associated with love, with not having loved enough or having been loved enough.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
Not, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, and I did my best.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1–10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10
Goals
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
In this book the author is trying to teach us the strategy for setting and achieving goals in order to live an extraordinary life.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. How to unlock our potential in order to take our life in hands.
There are no limits to what you can accomplish except for the limits you place on your imagination. Your ability to set goals is the master skill of success, goal unlock your positive mind and release ideas and energy for goal attainment. With goals, you fly like an arrow straight and true to its target. Goals gives you a sense of meaning and purpose, goals give you a sense of direction as you move toward your goals you feel happier and stronger, you feel more energized and your effective, you feel more confident and competent in yourself and your abilities, goals enable you to assure that the change in your life are largely self-determined and self-directed, goals enable you to instil meaning and purpose into everything you do, clear goals enable you to release your full potential for personal and professional success, goals enable you to overcome any obstacle and to make your future unlimited. So, once you accept total responsibility for your life, there are no limits on what you can be, do and have. To keep your mind positive, refuse criticise, complain about or condemn other people for anything. Refuse to make excuses or justify your behaviours, if you make a mistake say I am sorry and get busy rectifying the situation. Once you decide to accept complete responsibility for yourself, your situation and for everything that happens to you, you can turn confidently toward your work and affairs of your life. You become the master of your fate and the captain of your soul.
ii. Creating our future by determining our true goals.
When you have clear, exciting goals and ideals, you will feel happier about yourself and your world, you will be more positive and optimistic, you will be more cheerful and enthusiastic, you will feel internally motivated to get up and going every morning, because every step you are taking will be moving you in the direction of something that is important to you. The greater clarity you have about who you are and what you want, the more you will achieve and faster you will achieve it in every area of your life.
The more your behaviour in the moment is consistent with what you feel your ideal behaviour should be, the more you like and respect yourself, and the happier you are.
In goal setting for the process to be effective, you must be perfectly selfish about what it is that you really want for yourself. As Zig Ziglar said, “you move from being a wandering generality to becoming a meaningful specific.”
iii. Deciding our priority major goal
Napoleon hill said that, “there is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants and a burning desire to possess it.”
Since you become what you think about most of the time, a major definite purpose gives you a focus for every working moment. The more you think about your major definite purpose, and how to achieve it, the more you activate the law of attraction in your life. You begin to attract to you people, opportunities, ideas and resources that help you to move more rapidly toward your goals and move your goal more rapidly toward you.
When you have a major definite purpose that you think about, talk about and work on all the time, your outer world will reflect this like a mirror image.
iv. Flying with eagles if we want to become the eagles
As Orison Swett said “that your outlook upon life, your estimate of yourself, your estimate of your values is largely coloured by your environment. Your whole career will be modified, shaped moulded by your surroundings, by the character of the people with whom you come in contact every day.”
Your choice of a mate and friends will have as much or more to do with your success and happiness than any other decision you make. This means that your ability to form the right relationship, with the right people, at every aspect of your life and career, will be the critical determinant of your success and achievement and will have an inordinate impact on how quickly you achieve your goals. Remember one person, at the right time, in the right place, can open a door for you that can change your life and save you years of hard work. As also Zig Ziglar said that “if you want to fly with eagles, you can’t continue to scratch with the turkeys.” So, get around the right people, make it a point to associate with the kind of people that you like, admire, respect and want to be like sometime in the future. Associate with the kind of people that you look up to and would be proud to introduce to your friends and associates.
v. Time management and visualize our goals
Your time and your life are precious, the biggest waste of time and life is for you to spend years accomplishing something that you could have achieved in only a few months. As Robin Sharma said that ‘’ time slips through our hands like grains of sand, never to return again. These who use time wisely are rewarded with rich, productive, and satisfying lives. Sense of control is the key to feelings of happiness, confidence, power and personal well-being, and a sense of control is only possible when you practice excellent time management skills. Each time that you do something that you really want, you are acting intelligently.
vi. Activate our super-conscious mind and be flexible at what cost
The law of super-conscious says that “any thought, plan, goal and ideal held continuously in the conscious mind must inevitably be brought into reality by the superconscious mind.” Thomas Troward also said that “the subjective mind is entirely under the control of the objective mind. With the utmost fidelity, it works to its final consequence whatever the subjective mind impresses upon it.”
Whatever you can hold in your mind on a continuing basis, you can have. If you look for something good in every situation, you will always seem to find it. The very attitude of expecting good things to happen to you seems to trigger their accuracy, over and over again. If you calmly and confidently believe in the magic of serendipity, no matter what happens you will have repeated serendipitous experiences that will help you to achieve your goals in life. And when you make a regular habit of listening to your intuition and trusting your inner voice, you will probably never make another mistake. So, you must remain open minded, flexible, calm, confident and curious if you want to be able to recognise new opportunities and possibilities as they open up around you on your journey toward your goal. Look into each problem or obstacle you face and seek the valuable lesson or benefit it contains, see if you should change your direction or course of action based on new information or experience, if so, do it now.
vii. Being determined and never give up upon our goals
As Samuel Johnson said that “few things are impossible to diligence and skills, great works are performed not by strength, but by perseverance. When you develop the habit of courage and unshakable self-confidence, a whole new world of possibilities opens up for you.”
Remember the future belongs to the risk takers, not the security seekers. The more you seek security, the less of it you have, but the more you seek opportunity, the more likely it is that you will achieve the security that you desire. As also Confucius said that “our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. So, it is never over as long as you continue to persist. It’s no whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up again. What you do not see, what most people never suspect of existing is the silent but irresistible power which comes to your rescue when you fight on in the face of discouragement. In every situation, resolve to be solution oriented and action oriented. Think always in terms of the things you can do right now to solve your problems or achieve your goals and then get started. Never give up.”
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The thoughts, ideas and strategies in this book will help me to live a meaningful life completely. By integrating these ideas and strategies into my daily life will make me who I want to be, do and have and they will also shift me where I am now to where I want to land in my life, they will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-direction, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to achieve my goals. They will teach me how to unlock the great untapped reserves of potential that lie deep within me and they will also propel my whole life onto a high road of success, achievement and great happiness.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“ One of the rules for success is this, it doesn’t matter where you are coming from, all that matters is where you are going.”
Where you are going is solely determined by yourself and your own thoughts. Clear goals increase your confidence, develop your competence and boost your level of motivation. You become what you think about most of the time, your outer world ultimately becomes a reflection of your inner world, and mirrors back to you what you think about. Whatever you think about continuously emerges in your reality.
“To keep your mind positive, refuse to criticize, complain about or condemn other people for anything.”
Every time you criticize someone else, complain about something you don’t like, or condemn someone else for something they have done or not done, you trigger feelings of negativity and anger within yourself. And you are the one who suffers, your negativity doesn’t affect the other person at all, being angry with someone is allowing him or her to control your emotions and often the entire quality of your life. Refuse to whine and complain about things that happened in the past, which cannot change. Instead, orient yourself toward the future and think of what you want and where you are going. Think about your goals.
“The more you say I am responsible the more of an internal locus of control you develop within yourself, and the more powerful and confident you feel.”
The more responsibility you accept, the greater amount of control you feel, the happier and more confident you become. You have to accept complete responsibility for your life and everything that happens to you, with no blaming and no excuses. Resolve today to stop blaming anyone else for anything and instead accept complete responsibility in every area of your life. Stop making excuses and start making progress, imagine that your favourite excuses have no basis in fact and act accordingly. See yourself as the primary creative force in your own life, you are where you are and what you are because of your own choices and decisions. Resolve today to forgive anyone who has ever hurt you in any way, let it go, refuse to discuss it again. Instead, get so busy working on something that is important to you that you don’t have time to think about again.
“Integrity is not so much a value in itself, it’s rather the value that guarantees all the other values.”
The more you discipline yourself to live consistent with the very best you know, the greater is your level of personal integrity and the higher your level of integrity, the happier and more powerful you will feel in everything you do.
“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.”
Whatever you believe, with conviction, becomes your reality. You do not believe what you see, you see what you already believe. You actually view your world through a lens of belief, attitude, prejudices and preconceived notions. Remember that you are not what you think you are, but what you think you are.
“Your problem is to bridge the gap between where you are now and the goals you intend to reach.”
Once you have decided upon your values, vision, mission, purpose and goals. The next step is for you to analyse your starting point. Exactly where you are today, and how you are doing, in each of the important areas of your life, especially as they relate to your goals. Taking the time to honestly evaluate each part of your situation before you launch toward your goal will solve you months and even years on your journey.
“Failure is merely an opportunity to more intelligently begin again.”
You should look upon failure and temporary defeat as part of the price that you pay on your road to the success that you will inevitably achieve. Remember the theory of constraint say that’’ between you and anything you want to accomplish, there is a constraint or limiting factor, that determines how fast you get to where you want to go.’’
“Always treat people with kindness, courtesy and compassion.”
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, treat the other person as though he or she is the most important person in the world. Everyday, in every way, I look for ways to lighten the load and help other people to do their jobs better and live their lives more easily.
“Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.” (Napoleon Hill)
All improvement in your life begins with an improvement in your mental pictures. As you change your mental picture on the inside, your world on the outside will begin to change to correspond to those pictures. Visualization activates the law of attraction, which draws into your life the people, circumstances and resources that you need to achieve your goals. Just as you become what you think about most of the time, you become what you visualise most of the time.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
Not, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, the book contains fruitful exercises. I tried to apply the strategies for my short- and long-term goals.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1–10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10
Nonviolent Communication
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
In this book the author is revealing how we can get along with others using wonderful and fruitful words in order to create our life, relationships and environment in harmony with our values.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. Opening heart and avoid communication that blocks compassion.
Fruitful communication helps us to connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish. It also guides us to reframe the way we express ourselves and listen to others by focusing our consciousness on four areas: what we are observing, feeling, needing and what we are requesting to enrich our lives.
It is our nature to enjoy giving and receiving compassionately. One form of life-alienating communication is the use of moralistic judgments that imply wrongness or badness on the part of those who don’t act in harmony with our values. Another form of such communication is the use of comparisons, which can block compassion both for others and ourselves. Life-alienating communication also obscures our awareness that we are each responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Communicating our desires in the form of demands is also another characteristic of language that blocks compassion.
ii. Observe and express our feelings
When we combine observation with evaluation, others are apt to hear criticism and resist what we are saying, observations are to be made specific to time and context. So, by developing a vocabulary of feelings that allows us to clearly and specifically name or identify our emotions, we can connect more easily with one another. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable by expressing our feelings can help resolve conflicts. Nonviolent communication distinguishes the expression of actual feelings from words and statements that describe thoughts, assessments, and interpretations.
iii. Being responsible for our feelings
What others say and do may be the stimulus, but never the cause, of our feelings. So, judgments, criticisms, diagnoses, and interpretations of others are all alienated expressions of our own needs and values. When others hear criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defence or counterattack. The more directly we can connect our feelings to our needs, the easier it is for others to respond compassionately. In developing emotional responsibility, we choose to believe ourselves responsible for the feelings of others, we choose also to refuse to admit to caring what anyone else feels or needs, and we choose to accept full responsibility for our own feelings but not the feelings of others, while being aware that we can never meet our own needs at the expense of others.
iv. Search for life enrichment
When we speak, the clearer we are about what we want back, the more likely we are to get it. Since the message we send is not always the message that’s received, we need to learn how to find out if our message has been accurately heard. Especially when we are expressing ourselves in a group, we need to be clear about the nature of the response we are wanting back. Otherwise, we may be initiating unproductive conversations that waste considerable group time. We can help others trust that we are requesting, not demanding, by indicating our desire for them to comply only if they can do so willingly. The objective of nonviolent communication is not to change people and their behaviour in order to get our way; it is to establish relationships based on honesty and empathy that will eventually fulfil everyone’s needs.
v. Networking ourselves with compassion
When we make mistakes, we can use the process of nonviolent communication mourning and self-forgiveness to show us where we can grow instead of getting caught up in moralistic self-judgments. By assessing our behaviours in terms of our own unmet needs, the impetus for change comes not out of shame, guilt, anger or depression, but out of the genuine desire to contribute to our own and others’ well-being. We also cultivate self-compassion by consciously choosing in daily life to act only in service to our own needs and values rather than out of duty, for extrinsic rewards, or to avoid guilt, shame, and punishment. If we review the joyless acts to which we currently subject ourselves and make the translation from “have to” to “choose to,” we will discover more play and integrity in our lives.
vi. Free ourselves and give constructive advice for others
Our ability to distinguish our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression. We can replace “dream-killing language” with nonviolence communication and recognize the existence of choice in all our actions. By showing us how to focus on what we truly want rather than on what is wrong with others or ourselves, nonviolent communication gives us the tools and understanding to create a more peaceful state of mind.
vii. Expressing gratitude in perfect way
Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments, however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behaviour of others. Nonviolent communication encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration. The action that has contributed to our well-being, the particular need of ours that has been fulfilled, and the feeling of pleasure engendered as a result. When we receive appreciation expressed in this way, we can do so without any feeling of superiority or false humility by celebrating along with the person who is offering the appreciation.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The thoughts, ideas and strategies in this book will help me to live a successful life completely. By integrating these ideas and strategies into my daily life will make me who I want to be, do and have and they will also shift me where I am now to where I want to land in my life, they will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-direction, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to interact with others. They will teach me how to unlock the great untapped reserves of potential that lie deep within me and they will also propel my whole life onto a high road of success, achievement and great happiness.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“I am not easily frightened. Not because I am brave but because I know that I am dealing with human beings, and I must try as hard as I can to understand everything that anyone ever does.”
We are truly brothers and sisters. We all face the same kind of problems and we all have the ability to overcome them. That means putting our human brains to good use, combined with a strong sense of warm-heartedness. So, it is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well. Humility is not denying your strengths. Humility is being honest about your weaknesses. Remember the future belongs to the curious. The ones who are not afraid to try it, explore it, poke at it, question it, and turn it inside out. So, do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better.
“Let’s shine the light of consciousness on places where we can hope to find what we are seeking.”
We perceive relationships in a new light when we communicate in good manner to hear our own deeper needs and those of others.
“Classifying and judging people promote violence.”
Do not judge, you will not be judged. For as judge others, so you will yourselves be judged. Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values.
“We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility, for how we behave, think and feel.”
We can replace language that implies lack of choice with language that acknowledges choice.
“Observing without evaluating is the highest form of human intelligence.”
When we combine observation with evaluation, people are apt to hear criticism and resist what we are saying. For most of us, it’s difficult to make observations of people and their behaviour that are free of judgement, criticism, or other forms of analysis.
“People are disturbed not by things but by the view they take of them.”
What others say and do may be the stimulus, but never the cause of our feelings. We see that our feelings result from how we choose to receive what others say and do, as well as our particular needs and expectations at that moment.
“Judgement, criticisms, diagnosis, and interpretations of others are all alienated expressions of our needs.”
If we express our needs, we have a better chance of getting them met, the more directly we can connect our feeling to our own needs, the easier it is for others to respond compassionately to our needs. Most of us have never been taught to think in terms of needs. We are accustomed to thinking about what’s wrong with other people when our needs aren’t being fulfilled.
“Making requests in clear, positive, concrete action language reveals what we really want.”
Using positive language helps us to avoid vague, abstract, or ambiguous phrasing and toward our request in the form of concrete actions that others can undertake.
“How to tell if it’s a demand or a request: observe what the speaker does if the request is not complied with.”
It’s a demand if the speaker criticizes or judges. It’s a demand if the speaker then lays a guilt-trip. It’s a request if the speaker then shows empathy for the other person’s needs.
“True empathy requires listening with the whole being,”
The hearing that is only in the ears is one thing, the hearing of the understanding is another, but the hearing of the spirit is not limited to anyone faculty. And when the faculties are empty then the whole being listens, there is then a direct grasp of what’s right there before you that can never be heard with the ear or understood with the mind.
“The more faithfully you listen to the voice within you, the better you will hear what is happening outside.”
It’s impossible for us to give something to another if we don’t have it in ourselves. When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters. When critical self-concept prevents us from seeing the beauty in ourselves, we lose connection with the divine energy that is our source. We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part.
“The cause of anger lies in our thinking, in thoughts of blame and judgement.”
Anger is a result of life alienating thinking that is disconnected from needs, it indicates that we have moved up to our head to analyse and judge somebody, rather than focus on which of our needs are not getting met. We have to choose to focus on our needs and fillings, when we choose this, we never feel anger, we are not repressing the anger, we see how anger is simply absent in each moment that is fully present with the other person’s feelings and needs. When we become aware of our needs, anger gives way to life-serving feelings. The more people hear blame and judgment, the more defensive and aggressive they become and the less they will care about our needs in the future.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
Not, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, the book contains fruitful exercises. I tried to apply the techniques and strategies in my routine interaction with the world.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1–10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 8
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9
Goal Mapping
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
In this book the author reveals how we can think big and the way of sequencing our thoughts in order to land where we want to be.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. Think big
A man is but the product of his thought. What he thinks, he becomes. Dreams won’t come looking for you. That’s why you have to choose them. Pursue them until they become reality. Then hold on tightly. If you want to lift, empower, inspire and give the meaning to your life you have chosen to dream big, and follow your dream by believing and confidently to realize it. Remember the future belongs to the curious. The ones who are not afraid to try it, explore it, poke at it, question it, and turn it inside out. So, you don’t need a new day to start over, you only need a new mindset. Remember Your entire life is what you have imagined it to be. Challenge yourself to be who you know you are capable of being. Challenge yourself to live what you preach, to walk your talk and decide what is what you want. Write it down, make a plan, and work on it every single day. Dream big and dare to fail. It’s not about how good you are, but how good you want to be that matters. Dream big!
ii. Sequencing our thoughts
Don’t spend today worrying why yesterday was bad, spend it planning on how to make tomorrow better. Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.
Your life is a result of your choices. If you like your life, it’s time to make some better choices. The only person you should try to be better than, is the person you were yesterday. Remember not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.
A great life isn’t about big things, it’s about the small things that make a big difference. Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself. The sole and supreme use of suffering is to purify, to burn out all that is useless and impure. Suffering ceases for him who is pure.
Don’t let life change your goals, because achieving your goals can change your life. You are not what happened to you, you are what you choose to become.
iii. Visualize our thoughts
Logic will get us from A to B. Imagination will take us everywhere. The only thing that stands between us and our dream is the will to try and the belief that it is actually possible. Our entire life is what we have imagined it to be. we must make the choice, to take the chance, if we want anything in life to change. The more we dream, the further we get. So, let our dreams be bigger than our fears, our actions louder than our words, and our faith stronger than our feelings. If we can imagine it, we can achieve it. If we can dream it, we can become it. So, let’s make our own destiny. Thought is the fount of action, life, and manifestation; make the fountain pure, and all will be pure. Remember that the Vision that we glorify in our minds, the Ideal that we enthrone in our heart. this we will build our life by; this we will become. Remember only he whose thoughts are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him.
iv. The motivation behind our thoughts
A creative man is motivated by desire to achieve, not by desire to beat others. The reason we celebrate the “small everyday” achievements that others may take for granted. Call it being fifty metres behind the starting line but still having eyes on the gold medal. May something great come out of it. It’s not about having the skill to do something, it’s about having the will, desire and commitment to be our best. So, don’t give up just because of what someone said, use that as motivation to push harder.
Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. Remember we get the best out of others when we give the best of ourselves. If we do not challenge ourselves, we will never realize what we can become, If we have the courage to begin, we also have the courage to succeed. We have to appreciate every person who has ever told us that we can’t. They are just another reason we will. A person who really wants something will find a way; a person who doesn’t will find an excuse. The moment when we want to quit, is the moment when we need to keep pushing.
v. Achieving deadline
You will never find time for anything. If you want the time, you must make it. Everest for me, and I believe for the world, is the physical and symbolic manifestation of overcoming odds to achieve a dream. It’s not how you start; it’s how you finish. The key to success is to focus on goals not obstacles. Too many people are living for compliments instead of living for accomplishments. So, our greatest weakness lies in giving up, the most certain way to succeed is always to try just more time. Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it. Remember that a person who wants something with a strong desire does not get tired, if tired has already got it. If your dream seems unreachable, don’t lower your dream, raise your effort. A great attitude becomes a great day, which becomes a great month, which becomes a great year, which becomes a great life. It does not matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop. Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe the one reason why it will. Remember Isn’t funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different. Keep smiling and enjoy the journey even when it’s like there’s no hope at all, everything will be alright. Remember discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. Say yes, take risks, and live life on your own terms.
vi. Work toward our thoughts
In all human affairs there are efforts, and there are results, and the strength of the effort is the measure of the result. Chance is not. Good things don’t come to those who wait, good things come to those who are willing to get up and get things done. The difference between who you are and who you want to be is the work you put in. The distance between your dream and reality is called action. Keep pushing yourself forward, do whatever it takes, you will soon leap over the final hurdle and land right where you want to be. Remember when we water the roots of a tree, it reaches the leaves yet the water isn’t visible to us. Be patient and work hard. Nothing may be visible immediately like the water, but ultimately the fruits of your labour will appear.
Sometimes you have to do something instead of thinking. Because if you do nothing, you can be sure nothing will the harder you work; the more luck seems to smile on you. The key to your success is identifying talents and exploiting their potential. change. And it’s time for change! Remember hard work beats talent, when talent fails to work hard.
So, if you want something new, you have to stop doing something old. Never give up on what you really want to do, the person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts. The harder you work for something, the greater you’ll feel when you achieve it.
vii. Choose the associates to achieve our thoughts.
Let our life mean something, become an inspiration to others so that they may try to do more and to become more than they are today. Surround yourself with those who see greatness in us, even when we don’t see it in ourselves. There is nothing wrong with giving up. It’s just wrong to give up before you try and give your best.
Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is a success. Remember True friends are those who care without hesitation, remember without limitation and give without explanation. If you are being true to yourself and it isn’t enough for the people around you, maybe it’s time to change the people around you. So, don’t be afraid to lose people, be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The thoughts, ideas and strategies in this book will help me to live a successful life completely. By integrating these ideas and strategies into my daily life will make me who I want to be, do and have and they will also shift me where I am now to where I want to land in my life, they will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-direction, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to interact with others. They will teach me how to unlock the great untapped reserves of potential that lie deep within me and they will also propel my whole life onto a high road of success, achievement and great happiness.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
Here are some highlighted statements that particularly got my attention;
“Every great achievement began in the mind of one person.”
Take some time to allow yourself to ask some questions like, what if? Then think big. Do not let negative thinking discourage you, if you had a dream that you let grow cold, re-ignite the dream, fan the flames. Life is too short to let it go. Remember dreams need to be big, it needs to be something that is seemingly beyond your capabilities. But it also must be believable, attainable and realistic. You must be able to say that if certain things take place, if others can help, if you work hard enough, though it is a big dream, it can still be done.
“One who wants to achieve one’s dream should tell that dream to friends and colleagues.”
If we are talking about our dreams to friends, it must be possible, it also holds us accountable, it spurs us on to actually doing it, so we don’t look foolish or unserious before them.
“When you have reached your goal and you are living your dream, be sure to enjoy it and enjoy the trip.”
Give yourself some rewards along the way, give yourself a huge reward when you get there, help others to enjoy it, be gracious and generous.
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
When you have one or two reasons for accomplishing a goal, you will have a small amount of motivation but if you have forty or fifty reasons for achieving a particular goal, you will be so motivated and determined to succeed against odds. That nothing and no one will stand in your way. The stronger you associate your goals with emotional reasons, the greater the power of connection with your subconscious and the more daily motivation and inspiration you will experience.
“Goals without deadlines are just wishes.”
When mapping your goals, there’s balance between courage and thought when choosing a date. Without a strict deadline, a challenging but reachable goal that is qualified, completely remains too vague. The lack of a specific deadline often results in a lack of focused approach to attaining your goal. Always concentrate on the date for your main goals as its very achievement will help other goals to fall into the right place.
“The why determines the how.”
The main action you can take or things you can do, that will help you move toward your goal. The major actions you will need to take that will move you along a path towards the achievement of your main goal.
“Never be afraid to ask for help or advice.”
Value experience, never close yourself to suggestion and insight from others. Surround yourself with people whose knowledge and judgement you trust, then make good use of them. Effective goal mapping is consultative, it does not waste time, and it leverages all available brainpower. So, try to welcome and actively seek multiple perspectives on any given problem.
“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the brick’s others have thrown at him.”
The future belongs to the curious. The ones who are not afraid to try it, explore it, poke at it, question it, and turn it inside out. In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. Sometimes to find the Light you have to go through the darkest shadows. The harder you work; the more luck seems to smile on you, beginning each day as if it were on purpose. Life is a choice. The choices you make will not always be good, they will surely be bad. Where you are, everything has a price, you have to be ready to pay that price and to continue living. Remember they are afraid of you. Because you are different, the difference always ends up scary.Everything is relative, especially good and evil. It depends on the people you meet and how you listen to them. The path to the future is through the past, we are what we did and what we were done.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
Not, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, the book contains fruitful exercises which I tried to apply the techniques and strategies in my routine goal mapping to land where I am today.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
In this book the author’s deliberate integration of life and beautiful principles that can bring greater fulfilment and joy to people seeking meaning in their personal and professional lives. It also conveys the kind of penetrating truth about human nature.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. The way we see and interpret the world differently.
Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective but this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are or as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our months to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms. When other people disagree with us, we immediately think something is wrong with them. Clear Headed people see things differently, each looking through the unique lens of experience.
We must look at the lens through which we see the world, as well as at the world we see, and at the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world. We alone can change the door to change within ourselves, if we want to change the situation, we first have to change ourselves and change ourselves effectively, we first have to change our perceptions.
The more aware are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions and the to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a large picture and a far more objective view.
If we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviours but if we want to make significant, quantum change, we need to work on our basic paradigms.
ii. Being visionary and act accordingly
We are conditioned to respond in a particular way to a particular stimulus. Our behaviour is the product of our own conscious choice based on values, rather than a product of our conditions, based on feelings. We have to be influenced by external stimuli, but our response stimuli, conscious or unconscious, must be value-based choice or response.
Our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers, the freedom to handle difficult circumstances in the future and to inspire others to do so as well. Our basic nature is to act and not act upon. Many of us wait for something to happen or someone to take care of us, but people who end up with good jobs are the proactive ones who are solutions to problems, not problems themselves who seize the initiative to do whatever is necessary, consistent with correct principles, to get the job done. So, be a light not a judge, be a model not a critic, be part of the solution not part of the problem.
iii. Visualize and act accordingly
As Olivier Wendell Holme once said, “what lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” We don’t have to live the dreams of others, we are responsible to use our imagination and creativity to dream our own that are more effective, more congruent with our deepest values and with the correct principles that give our values meaning. So, we are free to choose our actions, based on our knowledge of correct principles, but we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions.
As a principle-centered person, you see things differently, and because you see things differently, you think differently, you act differently.
iv. Knowing difference between leadership and management and act respectively.
Peter Drucker and Warren Bennis defined management and leadership in this way “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Management is efficient in climbing the ladder of success, leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall. Effective management is putting first things first, while leadership decides what first things are. The ability to manage well doesn’t make much of a difference, if you are not even in the right jungle but if you are in the right jungle, it makes all the difference. So, effective people are not problem-minded, they are opportunity-minded.
v. Teamwork
You can’t be successful with other people if you haven’t paid the price of success with yourself. As Samuel Johnson once mentioned that “there can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity.” The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. If our words and our actions come from superficial human-relations techniques rather than from our inner character ethic, others will sense that duplicity. We simply won’t be able to create and sustain the foundation necessary for effective networking.
vi. Applying a win-win principle
Win-win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. Because you can’t change the fruit without changing the root. So, with a win-win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan, and see life as cooperative, not a competitive arena. It’s power and position-based rather than on principle.
vii. Seek to be empathetic communicators
If you want to communicate effectively with me, to influence me, you first need to understand me. Most people do listen with intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply. They are either speaking or preparing to speak, they are filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into other people’s lives. So, we have to see life through each other’s eyes. The communication isn’t defensive or protective or angry or manipulative, it is honest and genuine and respectful.
The key to valuing the difference between people is to realize that all people see the world not as it but as they are. That means the person who is truly effective has the humility and reverence to recognize his own perceptual limitations and to appreciate the rich resources available through interaction with the hearts and minds of other human beings. So, we can sidestep negative energy, we can look for the good in others and utilize that good, as different as it may be, to improve our point of view and to enlarge your perspective.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The thoughts, ideas and strategies in this book will help me to live a successful life completely. By integrating these ideas and strategies into my daily life will make me who I want to be, do and have and they will also shift me where I am now to where I want to land in my life, they will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-direction, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to interact with others. They will teach me how to unlock the great untapped reserves of potential that lie deep within me and they will also propel my whole life onto a high road of success, achievement and great happiness.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“We and we alone can change the door to change within ourselves.”
The more aware are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumption, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a large picture and a for more objective view.
No one can persuade another to change, each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside. We cannot open the gate of another, either by argument or emotional appeal.
“Where we stand depends on where we sit.”
As clearly and objectively as we think we see things, we begin to realise that others see them differently from their own apparently equally clear and objective point of view.
“For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one striking at the root.”
We can only achieve quantum improvements in our lives as we quit hacking at the leaves of attitude and behaviour and get to work on the root, the paradigms from which our attitudes and behaviours flow. Being is seen in the human dimension and what we see is highly interrelated to what we are. We can’t go far to change our seeing without simultaneously changing our being and vice versa.
“To relate effectively with a wife, a husband, children, friends or working associates, we must learn to listen.”
Listening requires emotional strength, listening involves patience, openness and desire to understand, a highly developed quality of character.
“The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the level of thinking we were at, when we created them.”
As we look around us and within us and recognize the problems created as we live and interact within the personality ethic, we begin to realize that these are deep, fundamental problems that cannot be solved on the superficial level of thinking. A paradigm based on the principles that accurately describe the territory of effective human beings interacting to solve these deep concerns.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Sow a thought you will reap an action, sow an action you will reap a habit, sow habit you will reap a character, and sow character you will reap a destiny. Habit is an intersection of knowledge, skills and desire. Knowledge is the theoretical paradigm, the what to do and why, skills the how to do and desire is the motivation, the want to do.
“No one can hurt you without your consent.”
No one can take away our self-respect unless we give it to him or her. So, it is our willing permission, our consent to what happens to us, that hurts us far more than what happens to us in the first place. Therefore, it is not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. Our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers, the freedom to handle difficult circumstances in the future and to inspire others to do so as well. What matters most is how we respond to what we experience in life, our basic nature is to act and not act upon.
“When we pick up one end of the stick, we pick up the other.”
The proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct it, and learn from it. In doing so, you become a master in turning failure into success. Don’t argue for other people’s weaknesses, don’t argue your own, when you make a mistake, admit it, correct it and learn from it immediately. Don’t get into a blaming, accusing mode. Work on things you have control over, work on you, work on being, look at the weakness of others with compassion not accusation. It is not what they are doing or should be doing that’s the issue, the issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing. If you start to think the problem is out there, stop yourself because that thought is the problem. So be a light not a judge, be a model not a critic, be part of the solution not part of the problem. Because we are free to choose our actions, based on our knowledge of correct principles, but we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions.
“He who is good with a hammer tends to think everything is a nail.”
We are capable of performing many different kinds of thought processes and we barely tap out potential. As we become aware of its different capacities, we can consciously use our minds to meet specific needs in more effective ways.
“There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity.”
The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. If our words and our actions come from superficial personality ethic rather than from our character ethic, others will sense that duplicity. We simply won’t be able to create and sustain the foundation necessary for effective interdependence. You can’t be successful with other people if you haven’t paid the price of success with yourself.
“The key to valuing the difference between people is to realise that all people see the world not as it but as they are.”
The person who is truly effective has the humility and reverence to recognize his own perceptual limitations and to appreciate the rich resources available through interaction with the hearts and minds of other human beings. So, you can sidestep negative energy, you can look for good in others and utilize that good, as different as it may be, to improve your point of view and to enlarge your perspective.
“A long, healthy and happy life is the result of making contributions, of having meaningful projects that are personally exciting and contributing to and blessing the lives of others.”
You are of the opinion that your life belongs to the whole community and as long as you live, it is your privilege to do whatever you can. You want to be thoroughly used up when you die. For the harder you work, the more you live. You rejoice in life for its own sake. your life must not be a brief candle for you, it’s a sort of splendid torch which you’ve got to hold up for a moment and you want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.
“There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children; one is rooting the other wings.”
Giving wings to our children and to others means empowering them with the freedom to rise above negative scripting that had been passed down to us. Becoming a transition person instead of transferring those scripts to the next generation, we can change them.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
Not, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, the book contains fruitful exercises, I tried to apply the techniques and strategies in my routine interaction with the world.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 8
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8
The Power of Intention
Assessment of Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author in this book is trying to tap into our minds in order to see or realize the power/force that is beyond our thoughts and which is able to give us everything we desire in our everyday life to make our dreams reality.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. Living likelihood in the face of universal force
We have to move from thinking about universe force to knowing it. As Carlos Castaneda mentioned that “in the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link. True, if you believe in it and work in it the miracle can happen.”
We are holding in your hands evidence that anything we can conceive of in our minds, while staying in harmony with the universal all-creating source can and must come to pass. You are a super-achiever and probably proud of your ability to recognize and take advantage of opportunities that arise. So, when we activate our intention, we will begin to feel purpose in our life, and we’ll be guided by our infinite self. Trust in intention. It exists for you. Stay alert and be willing to accept any guidance that comes your way. Stay in vibrational harmony with the all-providing source. Banishing doubt and trusting your intuitive feelings, you clear a space for the power of intention to flow through. Because the universe’s force manifests as an expression of expanding creativity, kindness, love and beauty. This will allow you to cooperate with it everywhere and allow this spirit of increase to express itself through you and for everyone you encounter. Then you will have no worry or anxiety. So, we don’t have to have an intellectual understanding. It’s enough to silently know and proceed to live with your awareness of this face of endless abundance. We only need to be willing to recognize and receive.
ii. Remove hurdles to connect to the universal force
The secret to manifesting anything that you desire is your willingness and ability to realign yourself so that your inner world is in harmony with the power of intention. The way to establish a relationship with spirit and access the power of this creating principle is to continuously contemplate yourself as being surrounded by the condition you wish to produce the result that you desire. That power is the creative power of the universe. It’s responsible for everything coming into focus. By trusting it to provide the form and the conditions for its manifestation, you establish a relationship to intention that allows you to be connected for as long as you practice this kind of personal intent. So, you need to simply trust your ability to cheerful rely upon spirit to express itself through and for you. Your task is to contemplate the energies of life, love, beauty and kindness. Every action that’s in harmony with this originating principle of intention gives expression to your own power of intention. You get what you intend to create by being in harmony with the power of intention, which is responsible for all of creation. When you become one with intention, you’re transcending the ego-mind and becoming the universal all-creative mind. So, when you lay your ego aside and return to that from which you originally emanated, you’ll begin to immediately see the power of intention working with, for, and through you in a multitude of ways.
If you wish to connect to intention and become someone who achieves all of your objectives in life, you’re going to need the assistance of a multitude of folks. By practicing extending kindness everywhere, you’ll find support showing up in ways that you could never have predicted. So, remove all unloving thoughts from your mind and practice kindness in all of your thoughts, words, and actions. It’s all about having an inner picture of abundance, thinking in unlimited ways, being open to the guidance that intention provides when you’re in a state of rapport with it and then being in a state of ecstatic gratitude and awe for how this whole thing works.Your inner speech, your level of energy and yourself-importance can create almost insurmountable blocks to intention when they’re mismatched. Link up with intention, use your inner speech to stay focused on what you intend to create, and you’ll find yourself regaining the power of your source. So, removing obstacles means that you decide to shift your inner speech to what you intend to create and attract into your life.
iii. Living purposeful life and respect yourself
You are a piece of that universal mind of creation, and you must see God inside of you and view yourself as a divine creation in order to access the power of intention in your life. So, what you think for yourself is what you think of the world. You attract into your life what you feel inside. In the words of Buddha, those who have failed to work toward the truth have missed the purpose of living. Somewhere, buried deep within each of us, is a call to purpose. It’s not always rational, not always clearly delineated, and sometimes even seemingly absurd, but the knowledge is there.
By acting as if you are on purpose and treating the hurdles as friendly reminders to trust in what you feel deeply within you, you’ll be fulfilling your own intention to be a purposeful person. So, it’s not something you find, it’s how you live your life serving others, and bringing purpose to everything you do. You get treated the way you teach others to treat you, see light in those others, and treat them as if that is all you see.
iv. How to attract what we desire in our daily life and live stress-free and tranquil life
St. Paul once said that, “God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance.’’ And Lao Tzu mentioned that ‘’ when you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. So, you have to change the way you see and the things you look at change.”
Feeling abundant and successful is possible when you detach yourself from the things you desire and allow them to flow to you, and just as important though you.
Thomas Merton once said that ‘’ anxiety is the mark of spiritual insecurity’’ and Paramahansa Yogananda added that “so long as we believe in our heart of hearts that our capacity is limited and we grow anxious and unhappy, we are lacking in faith. One who truly trusts in God has no right to be anxious about anything.” So, you feel good not because the world is right, but your world is right because you feel good.
v. Winning the real persons in our life in order to be connected to the force of universe
The moment you definitely commit yourself to being a part of the power of intention, then providence moves too, and unforeseen assistance comes your way. So, the energy that holds the two of you together is in close harmony with the source energy of intention. Know that the right person will arrive in divine order at precisely the perfect time.The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.
vi. Expressing gratitude in every breath we got
I quote a paragraph that has been touched in this book which expresses a real gratitude and I wish this kind of gratitude can be a good example to everyone. This is it you have shown me the way to being well, and I will forever be grateful. God bless you a thousand-fold, for following your bliss and helping others to find theirs. I hope there will come a time when I can express my gratitude in person, until then, I’ll see you in the gap.
When we express a kind of gratitude to every situation in our life, even good or bad, we give ourselves the chance to attract goodness in our lives. So, be kind, be creative, express love, see the beauty in bad events, expand our life in every corner and be a giver more than a receiver. We will receive more than we expect to come into our lives.
Be an appreciator of life, and refuse to have thoughts of hatred, anxiety, anger and judgement. Trust yourself as a piece of God and your genius will flourish. Never say no to the universe. Whatever life sends you; you choose to say thank you. And see what you can learn in it and how you grow from what you’re receiving. The process of giving thanks opens the door for more to come. Your sense of awe at all of the miracles you see around you allows you to think, see and live more of these miraculous occurrences.
vii. Self-actualization to be in the shoes of universal force
Swami Paramananda once said “self-realization means that we have been consciously connected with our source of being. Once we have made this connection then nothing can go wrong.” And Abraham Maslow added that “self-actualizing people must be what they can be.” If you create this, know that it will work out.
A person who lives in a state of unity with the source of all life doesn’t look any different from ordinary folks. These people don’t wear a halo or dress in special garments that announce their godlike qualities. But when you notice that they go through life as the lucky ones who seem to get all the breaks and when you begin to talk to them, you realize how distinctive they are compared to people living at ordinary levels of awareness. Spend a few moments in conversation with these people who are connected to the power of intention and you see how unique they are. All you have to do to tap into the power of intention is to be in a perfect match with the source of everything, and you have to choose to be as closely aligned to that source. You have the ability and desire to see a temporary illness as a blessing and you have to know in your heart that somewhere an opportunity exists in the setback and that is what you look for in everything that shows up in your life. Choose to feel good regardless of what is going on around you or how others might judge you.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The thoughts, ideas and strategies in this book will help me to live a successful life completely. By integrating these ideas and strategies into my daily life will make me who I want to be, do and have and they will also shift me where I am now to where I want to land in my life, they will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-actualization, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to interact with others. They will teach me how to unlock the great untapped reserves of potential that lie deep within me and they will also propel my whole life onto a high road of success, achievement and great happiness.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“Intent is a force that exists in the universe. When sorcerers beckon intent, it comes to them and sets up the path for attainment, which means that sorcerers always accomplish what they set out to do.”
Intention is a force we all have within us. Intention is a field of energy that flows invisibly beyond the reach of our normal, everyday habitual patterns. It is there even before our actual conception. We have the means to attract this energy to us and experience life in an exciting new way. Our intelligence, creativity, and imagination interact with the energy field of intention rather than being thoughts or elements in our brain.
“All ordering influence and information is present in an invisible domain or higher reality and can be called upon in times of need.”
Intention is a power that’s present everywhere as a field of energy, it isn’t limited to physical development. It’s the source of non-physical development too. This field of intention is here, now and available to you. When you activate it, you’ll begin to feel purpose in your life, and you’ll be guided by your infinite self.
“Our individual thoughts create a prototype in the universal mind of intention.”
When you form a thought within you that’s commensurate with spirit, you form a spiritual prototype that connects you to intention and sets into motion the manifestation of your desires. Whatever you wish to accomplish is an existing fact, already present in spirit. Eliminate from your mind thoughts of conditions, limitations or possibility of it not manifesting. Believe that your desire has already been fulfilled, and then it will be accomplished. Know that your thought or prayer is already here. Remove all doubt so that you create a harmonious thought with the universe’s mind or intention. When you know this beyond doubt, it will be realized in the future.
“ I’m here on purpose, I can accomplish anything I desire, and I do it by being in harmony with the all-pervading creative force in the universe.”
Act as if anything you desire is already here. Believe that all that you seek you’ve already received, that it exists in spirit, and know you shall have your desire filled. The secret for success and inner peace is to treat yourself as if you already are who you’d like to become. If there is an omnipresent power of intention that’s not only within me, but in everything and everyone and to what we’d like to be, what we’d like to have, what we want to achieve, and to everything in the universe and activating intention.
“ Truth and beauty are one and the same, beautiful thoughts build a beautiful soul.”
As you become receptive to seeing and feeling beauty around you, you’re becoming attuned to the creative power of intention within everything in the natural world, including yourself. By choosing to see beauty in everything, even a person who was born into poverty and ignorance will be able to experience the power of intention. Seeking beauty in the worst of circumstances with individual intent connects one to the power of intention. The face of beauty is always present, even where others see non-beauty.
As Viktor Frank once said that “it is the ability to see beauty in all of life’s circumstances that gives our lives meaning.” If we focus on what’s ugly, we attract more ugliness into our thoughts, and then into our emotions, and ultimately into our lives. By choosing to hang on to one’s corner of freedom even in the worst situations, we can process our world with the energy of appreciation and beauty, and create an opportunity to transcend our circumstances.
“Your job is not to say how, it’s to say yes. Yes, I’m willing. Yes, I know that the power of intention is universal. It’s denied to no one.”
By being receptive, you have to be in harmony with the power of intention of the universal creative force. You’ll see the right people magically appear in your life, your body healing, and if it’s something that you want, you’ll even discover yourself becoming a better dancer, card player, or athlete. The field of intention allows everything to emanate into form, and its unlimited potential is built into all that has manifested even before its initial birth pangs were being expressed.
“You can’t access and work with intention if you’re contemplating the impossibility of being able to intend and manifest. You can’t discover the law of co-creation if you are contemplating what is missing. You can’t discover the power of awakening if you are contemplating things that are still asleep.”
The secret to manifesting anything that you desire is your willingness and ability to realign yourself so that your inner world is in harmony with the power of intention.
The way to establish a relationship with spirit and access the power of this creating principle is to continuously contemplate yourself as being surrounded by the conditions you wish to produce. This power is the creative power of the universe. It’s responsible for everything coming into focus. By trusting it to provide the form and the conditions for its manifestation, you establish a relationship to intention that allows you to be connected for as long as you practice this kind of personal intent.
“When you think, feel and act kindly. You give yourself the opportunity to be like the power of intention.”
Be good to God, since all that God created was good, be good to yourself. You are God manifested, and that’s reason enough to treat yourself kindly. Remind yourself that you want to be kind to yourself in all the choices that you make about your daily life.
Treat yourself with kindness when you eat, exercise, play, love and everything else. Treating yourself kindly will hasten your ability to connect to intention. When you are kind to others, you receive kindness in return.
“You cannot remedy anything by condemning it.”
If someone behaves in a hateful manner toward you and you respond by hating them for hating you, you are participating in a lower energy field, and impacting all who enter that field. If you are angry at those around you for being angry people, you are attempting to remedy the situation through condemnation.
“ True nobility isn’t about being better than someone else. It’s about being better than you used to be.”
Stay focused on your growth, with a constant awareness that no one on this planet is any better than anyone else. We all emanate from the same creative life force. We all have a mission to realize our intended essence, all that we need to fulfil our destiny is available to us.
“You receive what you desire for others.”
You’ll only give away what you have in your heart, and attract what you’re giving. This is a matter of great concern to you. Want nothing from them, demand nothing from them, have no expectations for them and they will return this kindness. Demand from them insist that they please you. Judge them as inferior and see them as servants and you’ll receive the same.
“ Even if you are otherwise perfect, you fail without humility.”
If you really want approval, stop thinking about yourself and focus on reaching out and helping others. As Wilhelm Steckel once mentioned that “the mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.”
The more you give of yourself, no matter how little, the more you open the door for life to pour in.
“When I am able to resist the temptation to judge others, I can see them as teachers of forgiveness in my life, reminding me that I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge.”
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself as someone who needs to judge. Be perfect, therefore as your heavenly father is perfect and reconnect to the perfection from which you originated.
“The connectors won’t attempt to win you over to their point of view with debates.”
They know better than to place a lot of energy on arguing or being frustrated, because that attracts argumentation and frustration into their lives. They know what they know, and they aren’t seduced into constructing a counterforce of resistance to people who live otherwise. Since connectors need to win, to be right, or to dominate others, their power is the fact that they uplift others with their presence. They communicate their view by being in harmony with the creative energy of the source. They’re never offended, because their ego isn’t involved in their opinions.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
Not, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, the book contains fruitful suggestions and practices. So, I tried and still apply the strategies to turn invisible into visible.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10
Leadership for Dummies
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author in this book is directing people who are thirsty to become great leaders, how to engage their directors, managers and employees to enhance their commitment and achieve higher levels of individual, team, and business performance.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. Knowing the difference between leadership and management
Leadership is something that you recognise when you see it and notice when you don’t see it, is a common sense, but not always common practice. It’s also a process in which you as the leader involve members of your group in working towards the goals and objectives that you require them to achieve. Leadership is a process in which you as a leader totally engage the people who report to you in their work so that they become committed and contribute fully to achieving the goals, objectives and tasks that have to be completed to enable the group to succeed. Leading consists of setting direction, gaining commitment, enthusing people to raise the bar, developing the capacity of your team, making change happen for better. While managing consists of planning, organising, monitoring and controlling, establishing and using systems and processes, reviewing progress.
ii. Knowing yourself to become a better leader
Leading outwards starts with looking inwards, looking inwards allows you to get to yourself better, because the better you understand what’s important to you and how that affects the way you think and behave. The better you understand who you are and react as you do in different situations. You can then use this inside information to consider how you, as leader, impact on and affect the people who work with you. Being a great leader is sometimes similar to being a great singer. You can have all skills required for leading effectively, but your colleagues can choose not to follow you when they think that you’re not being authentic. You appear to be out of you with yourself. Modelling the behaviours that you want other people to adopt is a powerful way of communicating the values and behaviours that are important to you.
iii. How to become an engaged leader
Engaging leaders need to engage their staff to enhance mutual understanding and commitment to work better together toward achieving their objectives. By being an engaged leader you achieve higher levels of performance and productivity for every person who reports to you and your whole team, you build a sense of team spirit that exceeds most people’s experience of teamwork, you convey the purpose and direction of your team. You enable all people to find meaning in their work, you gain commitment from all individuals through genuinely involving them in decisions and activities to achieve objectives. You have a positive influence on the way people who work for and with you think, feel and act. You tap into, and continually develop, the knowledge, skills and expertise of your whole team. Being an engaging leader requires you to have and show a genuine interest in the work-related needs, hopes, aspirations and concerns of each individual who reports to you as well as you being interested in your organisation’s required objectives and results.
iv. Leading approach
Questioning your approach to leading people or being self-critical is health. You can enhance your self-knowledge and leadership ability through questioning your motives, attitudes and reasons for behaving as you do in situations that require leadership.
Adopt a positive rather than negative attitude towards difficult situations so that you can learn as much from adversity. See the problems, difficult situations and dilemmas as opportunities to find out how to handle them effectively. Instead of waiting to be told to make a change, always be on the lookout for opportunities to deliver improvements in your team’s performance and productivity. Make sure that you often catch people doing things right, so that you build them up by recognising and praising their good work. While also constructively critiquing sub-standard work. Also encourage and enable people to learn to think for themselves when you’re working with them, not least because your own job becomes easier when everyone who works for you is confident and competent in their job. And stay calm when faced with a crisis and apply the diver’s motto; stop, think and breathe. Good self-knowledge and personal insight enable you to consider and choose the best approaches to working with people, approaches that have the desired effect on people and achieve your objectives.
v. Excelling in leading different types of teams
As a leader you have to demonstrate excellence to promote excellence. People are looking at you and taking more notice of what you do than what you say. You don’t have to be able to capture the attention of society, but you do have to capture the attention of and positive influence. Being a visionary leader and sharing your vision of how your team is going to carry out its work in the future, complements sharing the objectives or results you expect them to reach, because it enables them to see a more attractive way of working in the future. Hold people accountable, but recognise that people rarely deliberately make mistakes, recognising their good intentions helps you to deal with the problem without damaging your relationship with them. So, providing a model of appropriate behaviour when you interact with other members of your team is a great way to lead and encourage team members to think, feel and act in the same ways.
vi. A better way of leading yourself
Leading yourself means finding out about yourself and then putting your increased self-knowledge to good use. Increasing your self-knowledge enables you to be authentic and genuine. You have to be the person that you want others to become in terms of your team’s values and standards regarding the quality of work, how members of your team work together and with colleagues in other departments and so on. Use your common sense and do what you think is right in every situation, especially when you feel that you are in a dilemma. You have to be able to justify your decisions to others, but you have to justify your decisions to yourself. Being authentic and acting in accord with your core values. So, your colleagues appreciate when you do so and act with integrity, even if they don’t always agree with your decisions. Knowing your motives and values, being aware of how you feel, your emotional state at any time and having a good understanding of how these things affect the way you think and act enables you to appreciate how your emotional state and behaviour can impact on colleagues.
vii. Easy way for engaging people
To encourage employees to contribute all that they are capable of contributing to the success of their organisation. To put all the skills, knowledge, expertise, ability to think and effort that is at their disposal into their work and into working with their colleagues, or put another way to go the extra mile. Engaging your team to establish common and shared understanding about important objectives, tasks and activities, demonstrates that you respect and value your team members; you seek their views and take notice of what they say. Engaging people requires you to find out what’s important to people and find ways of enabling them to fulfil their needs through working towards achieving the required objectives and results. Remember everyone wants to contribute and make a positive difference to the organisation they work for, because making a valued contribution gives people job satisfaction and a sense of fulfilment.
Begin from where your colleagues are regarding their views about the need to act or change their behaviour rather than you focus only on the outcome that you want to achieve. You are more able to gain the commitment of colleagues to act or change their behaviour when you fully understand the reasons why they do or don’t do something or behave as they do. So, engage people in meaningful conversations so that they can contribute their ideas and views, and question or even challenge your proposals in order to enhance your and their understanding of the issues and problems. A better understanding of a problem is more likely to lead to a better decision being made and achieve a better outcome. Also act promptly when raising any instances of people not behaving or performing to your standards in order to reinforce the standards you expect.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The thoughts, ideas and strategies in this book will help me to live a successful life completely. By integrating these ideas and strategies into my daily life will make me who I want to be, do and have and they will also shift me where I am now to where I want to land in my life, they will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-actualization, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to interact with others. They will teach me how to unlock the great untapped reserves of potential that lie deep within me and they will also propel my whole life onto a high road of success, achievement and great happiness.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“Leadership is a common sense, but unfortunately not always common practice.”
Leading people isn’t easy. People are complex and have different needs, abilities, and expectations. Human flexibility are great strengths, but people can also be unpredictable and changeable. Their moods may alter, reflecting whether they are happy, sad, enthusiastic, angry or depressed. People’s emotional states affect their approach to work and their performance at work.
“If you want to be successful, learn from other people’s mistakes, don’t learn from the successful stories.”
Successful stories, there are a lot of reasons behind it, don’t listen to them. Learn from the mistakes of other people no matter how smart you are, you will encounter these mistakes. You learn from the mistakes not because you will be able to avoid mistakes, when these mistakes come. This suffering comes when you know how to deal with it, how to face it. Remember our life is not how much we achieved, it is how much we go through the tough days and mistakes.
“As a leader, you are the living, breathing, walking example of how you want your employees to be.”
You are constantly leading by example, promoting what you stand for, believe in and expect from others through your everyday actions and behaviours such as; what you pay attention to, how you react or don’t react to problems, failures and breaches of standards, how you allocate rewards, who you promote and why.
“Logic doesn’t always work when trying to influence a senior manager to accept and support your proposal.”
The value of finding out what’s important to every senior manager, and being able to couch your proposal or argument in terms that appeal to the interests and priorities of individual, senior managers who support you need to have your proposal accepted and implemented.
“When you are operating in your comfort zone, you’re at ease with yourself. You are in a situation or doing an activity that allows you to work within the limits of your perceived skills and abilities.”
Staying in your comfort zone is risk-free because you don’t expose yourself to potential failure. But developing your leadership skills can never be risk-free, you never discover how to handle potentially difficult problems. So, facing up to problems and exposing yourself to new potentially difficult situations involves stepping outside of your comfort zone and being uncomfortable.
“Being comfortable, uncomfortable and building the confidence that you can cope with new situations and be successful in dealing with them.”
Finding out how to be comfortable being uncomfortable also enables you to stretch yourself and develop your leadership abilities. Working through how to deal with difficult situations and problems enables you to develop your problem-solving and decision-making skills, convey the standards of work and behaviour you expect from others, practise your skills in working effectively with difficult people and so on.
“Do what I say, not what I do.”
Your staff members are always watching you; your team and other work colleagues take more notice of and tend to copy your behaviour more than they take notice of what you say. Inspire members of your team to achieve your team’s objectives by conveying your enthusiasm and commitment to succeed.
“Stop, think, breathe.”
Developing this habit of pausing before reacting is also useful for leaders. When you experience people adversely reacting towards, or resisting, changes you propose, to ensure that you don’t do or say something that you may later regret.
“Expanding your sphere of influence.”
You may have to start with influencing how you think, however, before you are able to increase your influence over others. Identify the people with the biggest impact on your performance and invest time in working more closely with them to encourage and persuade them to do what you need them to do when you need it done.
“ Knowing where to draw the line.”
Be clear at all times about the standards you expect from work colleagues regarding performance, quality, hitting deadlines, timekeeping and behaviour. Such clarity enables you to make decisions about where and when to draw the line, and take prompt action.
“Modelling yourself.”
Identify leaders whom you admire, notice what they do that attracts you to them and then work on adding this person’s approach, style, skills, attributes and so on to your wardrobe. You may, of course, have to practise developing the skills rather than expecting simply to copy it. When you’ve developed a wardrobe, you are in position to strut your stuff. Full of your own self-importance or pride in how good you look. So, promoting the standards you expect from others and providing an appropriate model by demonstrating the right behaviour.
“ Avoiding being a victim of change.”
You can’t always choose the situations you find yourself in, but you can choose how you react to them. Maintain a positive influence on how change is introduced into your work place and look for ways in which you can increase your sphere of influence.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
Not, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, the book contains fruitful suggestions and practices. So, I tried and still apply the strategies to turn invisible into visible.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 7
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 8
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8
The Law of Attraction
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author in this book is revealing how we can create the lifestyle of our dreams at the same time manifesting them.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. Discovering the power within us
With the law of attraction every human being on earth has the same ability to create their life precisely the way they want it. It doesn’t matter where you were born, how much money your family has, whether you were good in school or if you were born with no legs and arms, everyone was born with the law of attraction and it works the same for all of mankind. We can create things, events, circumstances and the people that come into our lives by our thoughts and feelings. We can have, do or become anything that we choose by using our thoughts in positive ways. The reverse is also true, we create every one of our own negative circumstances as well, simply by the thoughts and emotions we send out into the universe. The law of attraction is the one and the only one universal law that we have the ability to control. We live in a world of cause and effect. With each thought and emotion that we have there is an effect to it. We can use our thoughts in two ways; the first is that we can use them uncontrollably, which in turn gives us no conscious say in what the effect our thoughts and emotions will bring about. Or we can learn to control our emotions in order to force the positive effects we desire into our lives.
ii. Having a positive thinking
People think that what happens to us is the luck of draw. Many people don’t have naturally positive attitudes and as a result, they end up with very few comforts in their lives. These people then become ever more miserable due to their unfortunate circumstances, which they have actually been causing themselves without even realizing it. These people believe that their unhappiness is due to lack of luck, or uncontrollable and unfortunate circumstances not of their own doing. They have no idea that by controlling the way we think and feel, we can deliberately create whatever we want in life. Remember if you wholeheartedly believe that happiness and prosperity will be yours, then even by default, it will be yours. So, every single thing that happens in this world and in our personal lives are all products of how we think and feel. Everything that happens, whether good or bad, is based on our very own thoughts. Even if it’s something that has been done to you, it was still your own thoughts and emotions that caused the other person to do it. If it was something that happened to you, it was still your own thoughts and emotions that caused it to happen. Remember every moment your brain is thinking, the law of attraction is working.
iii. The way law of attraction works on our behalf in order to get what we want
We have to ask what it is we want, believe as we have already got it, visualize every step in our thoughts as if it is happening now then send our gratitude to the universe to make it happen and receive our blessings. The more emotion you put into a thought the faster that thought comes true. When you are using the law of attraction, you must find the bright side to every given situation. Believing is the key to everything in life, if you want to become successful at anything, then you must absolutely believe and know for a fact that you will achieve it. Everything that we know will happen for a fact. You may be someone who really wants to believe in the law of attraction but still has doubts, you may find that there are moments that you really do honestly believe in it and then there are moments that you don’t. If you really want to believe in the law of attraction then use the law of attraction to help you believe and remove your doubts. Take those small moments that you do believe and run with them. During those moments that you find yourself believing in it, get excited about it and thank the universe for helping you to believe in the law of attraction at that moment. When you find yourself in a moment of full faith, be thankful for that moment and then ask the universe to help you to believe in it in this way more often.
The more faith you have in it, the better it works in fulfilling your dreams. If you try to thank the universe for helping you have more faith in the law of attraction during a moment that you are actually doubting it, those doubts will shine brighter and in return you will keep feeling more doubt. Ask and you shall receive, acquiring what you want depends on these things; asking for what you want, your thoughts and emotions, your gratitude for all that you have now and for all the things you are going to have, believe and having full faith that you will have what you desire, your visualization session, following your intuition, taking action, letting it go, detach yourself from what you want. So, following those steps you will get it and that you will get it no matter what it takes. Do not allow anything to stand in your way. Remember successful people have passion for what they want, with passion comes perseverance, persistence, determination, drive, motivation and inspiration to get what one wants.
iv. Visualizing and Expressing gratitude
Visualizing what you want is the electricity in which ignites the power within you to physically move your dreams into reality. If you desire success, use the power of visualization to force your body into the action needed in order to bring that success into your circumstances. As you are visualizing, you must see things as if you are still seeing things from your own eyes. This gives your visualizations the effect that it is actually happening to you at that moment. You must make it look as though it is happening at that very moment. Before visualizing, it is best to know exactly what something will feel and look like. Visualize the same thing every time, don’t switch up the things you visualize too much. With each thing you want, try to keep your visualization the same every time. You may find new things that you would like to add to a certain circumstance or wish, but one you know exactly what you want, stick with it. Changing it up will confuse the universe and therefore it won’t know exactly what it is supposed to give you.
The way the universe works is, it brings to us what it thinks we already have. If the universe thinks that we have something that we actually don’t, then it works to make it so. It is very important during your visualization session to feel as though you already have your desire as well. During your visualization sessions, if you are not feeling totally and completely jubilant over what you are imagining that you have, then it’s not working. You should literally be smiling, you may even let out organic chuckles of excitement, you need to force yourself to feel exactly how you would feel the moment these things actually do come to you in the physical world. When you visualise, try adding people or pets that you love into the visualization. Don’t visualize people that you argue with or who have a habit of dragging you down. Remember the vibration of your happiness is of the utmost importance in attaining the life you want.
Your visualization to work for you, you must make sure that the things you are visualizing coincide with one another and they do not contract each other, you must be careful of what you wish for, you must make sure during your visualization sessions to thank who ever it is you believe in for the things you have right now and for those things you are visualizing having, you should have visualization session on daily basis. Make a habit or routine of it. You should take about 10-15 minutes a day to visualize. Each situation you visualize should only take about 5 minutes, the rest of the time will be used to get into a relaxed state or visualize multiple desires.
You can not dwell on how or when the answer will come to you, you need to simply trust and have faith it will come. Also being thankful for what we have will always bring us more of those good things. That is just the way life works with every given situation. Remember having gratitude for all that we have is only a small part of being a good person, but it is certainly a must have quality for being a good person. The reason we should be thankful for something we have not yet received is because the moment we have a thought of something we desire and have sent it out into the universe, it has already begun to form. It is in the beginning stages of becoming something tangible and it is already on its way to us. Being thankful ahead of time also helps us get what we want faster. Saying thank you before we get something proves to the universe that we honestly do believe that we already have it, he believes that we already have it. It proves our faith in them or in the universe or in whatever it is we believe in. as Buddha once mentioned that “let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful”
v. Taking action to turn your dreams reality
Action is the foundational key to all success. Many people think when they use the law of attraction, what they want is supposed to simply come to them. This is the case sometimes but most of the time it will take some kind of action on your part.
As Robert H. Schuller said, “high achievers spot rich opportunities swiftly, make a big decision quickly and move into action immediately. Follow these principles and you can make your dreams come true.” Becoming a successful person is also becoming one who can make a decision as swiftly as the question has been asked, after you have asked, believed and visualized, you must take action right away once you get a flash of intuition on your next step toward your goals. The quicker you take action on what your higher power is trying to tell you, the quicker you will get to your goal. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said that “that which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.” One of the most important things for us all to remember is to never envy someone else’s wealth but instead, we should strive to acquire the desire and the determination to do whatever it takes to acquire our own wealth in our own way. We should all take action in our life.
vi. Making the law of attraction works on our relationship side
Law of attraction for any relationship, if you are single, you can also use the law of attraction to find the love of your life. As well as when you are engaged or married. Write a letter to the universe, or God, mention how grateful you are for the loves that you’ve had in your life, then write down all the qualities you wish to see in your future lover. Put the date that you wish to meet this person by and put it on your nightstand. Read it every morning and night and know for fact that your soulmate will come. Keep the faith. The more faith you have that he/she will come, you are bound to cross paths with them.
vii. Living the life as we have planned
Feeling positive and happy prevents disease and sickness. Disease and sickness can not live in an emotionally healthy body. It is absolutely possible to cure yourself by having a positive outlook on life. However, it is much easier to prevent sickness in the first place by having a positive attitude than it is to cure it. Keeping yourself emotionally, happy, thankful for every little thing you have, thankful for your talent, thankful for the air and the life that you have been given will help you to ensure that you live a fully and abundantly in all areas of your life, money, health, love, friends and power can all be yours. So, you can change your life in any way that you believe you can. You are no different than anyone else as they are no different from you, we are all capable of absolute success. It’s only the ones who know this and believe with all of their hearts that they, themselves can create their own greatness. It’s only those who believe themselves to be worthy of their own greatness and it is only those who expect nothing less than that to create their own lives of pure greatness.
Become the person you want to be. Live your life with dignity and believe in the possibilities of yourself and all others of the human race. You already possess the qualities you seek; you simply need to find them within yourself. So now go find them, make them yours, own them. Do this and you shall live life with all the abundance that you were intended to create for yourself.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The thoughts, ideas and strategies in this book will help me to live a successful life completely. By integrating these ideas and strategies into my daily life will make me who I want to be, do and have and they will also shift me where I am now to where I want to land in my life, they will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-actualization, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to get what is that I want in my life. They will teach me how to unlock the great untapped reserves of potential that lie in the universe and they will also propel my whole life onto a high road of success, achievement and great happiness.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“There is no such thing as a coincidence, everything we view as such is simply the law of attraction at work.”
The law of attraction is working with every thought you have whether you realize it or not. The more you deliberately use the Law of attraction to your benefit, the more of these coincidences you will see. You will see them happen all around you from the moment you wake up till you go to bed at night.
“God created us, and this world with one thing in mind, our happiness.”
He wants us all to be content and satisfied with the life he has given us; his intention is for us all to live a life of luxury. These luxuries include health, happiness, love, satisfaction, contentment, good finances and anything else you would like to add to that list. God has made this world in such a way that we are all able to have whatever it is that we want.
“We as people are not happy because we have things. We have things because we are happy.”
Wanting things and needing them in order to be happy are two very different things. Feeling that you need something in order to be happy will always prevent you from acquiring your desires. want what you want and don’t be upset if you don’t have it yet, be grateful for every little thing that you do have. Even if the only thing to be grateful for is the air you breathe, be grateful for that.
“Once you find your purpose, you will find that the energy surrounding you will become more harmonious.”
When you are living for your purpose, you will naturally become a happier individual. You will automatically begin living your life in line with the universe. You’ll be in a much better position to send out the correct messages of what you want, your vibrating frequency will be more gracefully in tune with the vibrating frequencies of the things you want, bringing them to you faster.
“ If you have a dream, it is always helpful to get as close to that dream as possible.”
Dressing and acting the part. Even though you have not attained the things you desire as of yet, you should still find ways to associate yourself with those who have already attained the lifestyle that you dream of having yourself. Like your emotions, success is contagious too. Remember the really good actors have a habit of becoming the person who they are paying while making a movie. Real life works in the same way. When you become the person you desire to be without having really achieved the necessary success yet, it automatically sets your body in motion to make your wishes of becoming that person a reality.
“If you paint your mind a picture of bright and happy expectations, you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goal.”
The person we feel ourselves to be is the person that we become. If you want to be an author, associate with them, join the clubs. If you want to get better at basketball, find some people who are really good at it and associate yourself with them. Feel, act, visualize and believe that you already have what you want. Do this and soon, you will have it.
“By letting it go all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go, but when you try and try the world is beyond winning.”
When we have something, we don’t wonder when or how it will come to us because we already have it. So, when you dwell on how and when it is contradicting what you are trying to relay to your subconscious and to the universe. You can’t visualize all day though, you will still need to try and let go of any worry and wonder about the situation as much as you can. If you are having a hard time with letting something go, then just try to think as positively as you possibly can about it. A positive thought is 100 times more powerful than a negative thought, so if you think about it in an appositive way most of the time, then it will override any negative worries that you may sometimes have about the situation.
“Achieving goals is work, but when it is something that you have a passion for, this work becomes your playground.”
Many millionaires don’t seem as though they work very hard and many of them don’t. This doesn’t mean that they don’t do much to acquire their wealth. In fact, if we did what they did. It might feel like a lot of work to us, probably even too much work. That is because what they love to do and what we love to do differs. These people have found what they love to do and they take action on what they love to do all day, every day. They have been doing it with such enthusiasm, passion and perseverance that what they do comes easily and naturally to them.
“You may not get all the answers you seek right away. Everything that we want and visualize takes time to show up in our reality.”
You may ask the Lord for something and do everything yet still waiting for your answer. You want to take action and you want to do it now, but you are still waiting for God to lead you in the right direction on what to do. Do not fret in life, there is always a tie delay for everything. You must still be careful, but this time delay helps us so that we have more time to think about what we really want and whether it is right for us. The time delay helps prevent us from finding ourselves in a bind by giving us the opportunity to change our minds if needed.
“Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered either by themselves or by others.”
You do not need to be educated to become something great. Educate yourself in what you love. There is greatness within you, find it and set out to share it with the world. Make your own greatness happen.
“There are no impossible dreams.”
Keep in mind, the more impossible something may seem at first is not only a possibility, but it is exactly what you should be aiming for. Aim high, expect high if you fail the first hundred times, brush yourself off and do it again.
“You are a magical creature who was born to do and become anything you wish.”
You must first figure out what it is you truly want, second you must make a solid vow to yourself that nothing will stand in your way, third you must have complete and total faith that you ever thought before. You must ask for everything you want in life then take all the steps to get you there. Once you take the first step onto your desired road, there is only one way to go. So, continue going in that direction you so desire, become the person you want to be. Want it with all your being, ask for it, believe that you will have it, then let it go. Let the universe have complete control without wonder of when and how, you will be given all the answers and tools you will need to get you to your desires. Be thankful for all that you already do have and don’t fret over things you don’t have. Love and admire everyone without jealousy, the more you love and admire others the more others will love and admire you.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
Not, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, the book contains powerful suggestions and practices. So, I tried and still applying those strategies in my daily routine to make my dreams become reality.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10
Failing Forward
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author in this book reveals how we can turn invisible into visible without fear of failure or considering our past and present negative experiences, we have to learn and grow from them in order to land where we wish to be one day.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. Knowing the major difference between average people and achieving ones.
People’s attitude determines how they approach life day to day. All people like to think of themselves as above average, but achievers seem to leave average in the dust so far behind them that ordinary seems a distant memory. The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure. How people see failure and deal with it whether they possess the ability to look beyond it and keep achieving. Impacts every aspect of their lives, yet that ability seems difficult to acquire. Most people do not know where to start looking to get it. You have to choose to learn how to confidently look the prospect of failure in the eye and move forward anyway. Because in life the question is not if you will have problems, but how you are going to deal with your problems. Whatever obstacles you are facing in your life right now doesn’t matter. What does matter is that your life can change if you’ve willing to look at failure differently. Because you have the potential to overcome any problems, mistakes or misfortunes. As Nelson Boswell once said, the difference between greatness and mediocrity is often how an individual views a mistake. So, what distinguishes winners from the losers is that winners concentrate at all times on what they can do, not on what they can’t do.
ii. Your paradigm on failure and avoiding being the part of it.
When you make mistakes, don’t let them get you down and don’t let yourself think of them as stigmas, make each failure a step to success because every event whether good or bad is one small step in the process of living. You have to learn to be content in whatever state you are in, whatever situation you have been shipwrecked, whipped, beaten, stoned or imprisoned. Your faith has to enable you to maintain perspective. You have to realise that as long as you are doing what you are supposed to do, your being labelled success or failure by others really doesn’t matter. Errors become mistakes when we perceive them and respond to them incorrectly. Mistakes become failures when we continually respond to them incorrectly. Try to create within the ability to see errors or negative experiences as a regular part of life. Learn from them and move on, persevere in order to achieve their purpose in life. If you can change the way you see failure, you gain the strength to keep running the race. Get a new definition of failure, regard it as the price you pay for progress. If you can do that, you will put yourself in a much better position. In the face of adversity, rejection, and failings you have to continue believing in yourself and refuse to consider yourself as a failure. It is possible to cultivate a positive attitude about yourself, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in or what kind of history you have. You have to see failure as a momentary event, not a lifelong epidemic. You have to approach each day with reasonable expectations and not get your feelings hurt when everything doesn’t turn out perfectly.
iii. Take action and do not let failure knock you down.
You can’t avoid fear, no magic potion will take it away, and you can’t wait for motivation to get you going. To conquer fear, you have to feel the fear and take action anyway. As Jerome Bruner once said that “you are more likely to act yourself into feeling than feel yourself into action.” So, act, whatever it is you know you should do, do it.
To overcome fear and break the cycle, you have to be willing to recognize that you will spend much of your life making mistakes. If you can take action and keep making mistakes, you gain experience. If you have always had a hard time, then you have to get yourself moving, it doesn’t matter what has stopped you or how long you have been inactive. The only way to break the cycle is to face your fear and take action, even though it may seem small or insignificant. You can’t win the internal battle against failure without the positive attitude that contentment provides. But if you think positively and do nothing, you will not be able to fail forward. You must add positive action to a positive attitude.
iv. Learn from yesterday and change yourself in order to change your world.
No matter how difficult your problems were, the key to overcoming them doesn’t lie in changing your circumstances, it’s in changing yourself. No matter what you’ve experienced, remember this; there are people who’ve had it better than you and done worse. And there are people who’ve had it worse than you and done better. The circumstances really have nothing to do with getting over your personal history. Past hurts can make you bitter or better, the choice is yours. If you’ve been badly hurt, then start by acknowledging the pain and grieving any loss you may have experienced, then forgive the people involved including yourself if needed.
v. Learning from negative experiences and turning them into a stepping stone to your success.
Tragedies don’t have to stop a person from possessing a positive outlook, being productive, and living life to the fullest. No matter how dark a person’s past is, it need not colour his present permanently. Sometimes great achievement can come only as the result of a period of failure that helps you understand who you really are. If you know who you are, make the changes you must in order to learn and grow, and then give everything you’ve got to your dreams you can achieve anything your heart desires. As Dr Joyce Brothers mentioned that” the person interested in success has to learn to view failure as a healthy, inevitable part of the process of getting to the top.” Adversity can make you better if you don’t make you bitter, because it promotes wisdom and maturity. If you want to succeed, you have to learn to make adjustments to the way you do things and try again. Adversity helps to develop that ability, if you can step back from the negative circumstances facing you, you will be able to discover their positive benefits. You simply have to be willing to look for them and not take the adversity you are experiencing too personally. Finding the benefit in a bad experience is an ability that takes time to develop and effort to cultivate.
vi. Turning your weakness into strength.
When you are able to learn from any bad experience and thereby turn it into a good experience, you make a major transition in life. As Don Shula and Ken Blanchard once said that” learning is defined as a change in behaviour. You haven’t learned a thing until you can take action and use it. People change when; they hurt enough that they have to, they learn enough that they want to, and they receive enough that they are able to. So don’t let your learning lead to knowledge, let your learning lead to action. All you have to do is to maintain a teachable heart and be eager to learn every time you fail. If you can discover the weakness that weakens you, then you can start doing something about it and that can change your life. No matter how many opportunities you’ve missed or mistakes you’ve made don’t ever make excuses. Bite the bullet, take complete responsibility for yourself and keep trying.
vii. Bounce back, make it happen, keep moving.
All achievers have in common the ability to bounce back after an error, mistake, or failure. As Simone Caruthers once said that “life is a series of outcomes. Sometimes the outcome is what you want. Great, figure out what you did right. Sometimes the outcome is what you don’t want. Great, figure out what you did so you don’t do it again.”
Achievers are able to keep moving forward no matter what happens, and that’s made possible because they remember that failure does not make them failure. Don’t wait until you feel positive to move forward, act your way into feeling good, that’s the only way to start thinking more positively about yourself. The quality to overcome failure and become a strong achiever is the ability to put the past events behind you and move on. He who makes no mistakes never makes anything, the only way you will be able to fail forward is to accept mistakes as a part of your life, learn from them and improve.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The ideas in this book will help me to live a meaningful life completely. By integrating these ideas into my daily life will make me feel happier, healthier and more self-confident. Will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-direction, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to achieve my goals. They will teach me how to unlock the great untapped reserves of potential that lie deep within me and they will also propel my whole life onto a high road of success, achievement and great happiness.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“There is no doubt in my mind that there are many ways to be a winner, but there is really only one way to be a loser and that is to fail and not look beyond the failure.”
How people see failure and deal with it whether they possess the ability to look beyond it and keep achieving. Impacts every aspect of their lives, yet that ability seems difficult to acquire, most people don’t know where to start looking to get it. You have to choose to learn how to confidently look the prospect of failure in the eye and move forward anyway. because in life the question is not if you will have problems, but how you are going to deal with your problems.
“No matter how difficult your problems were, the key to overcoming them doesn’t lie in changing your circumstances. It’s in changing yourself.”
That in itself is a process and it begins with a desire to be teachable. If you are willing to do that, then you’ll be able to handle failure. When you make a mistake, don’t let them get you down, and don’t let yourself think of them as stigmas. Make each failure a step to success. If you can change the way you see failure, you gain the strength to keep running the race. Get a new definition of failure, regard it as the price you pay for progress. If you can do that, you will put yourself in a much better position to fail forward. So it is possible to cultivate a positive attitude about yourself, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in or what kind of history you have. To keep the right perspective, take responsibility for your actions, but don’t take failure personally. No matter what happens to you, the important thing is what happens to you.
“A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
To overcome fear and break the cycle, you have to be willing to recognize that you will spend much of your life making mistakes. If you can take action and keep making mistakes, you gain experience.
“Not everyone is naturally optimistic. Some people are born seeing the glass half empty rather than half full. But no matter what your natural bent is, you can become a more optimistic person.”
How do you cultivate optimism? By learning the secret of contentment. If you can learn that, then no matter what happens to you, you can weather the storm and build on the good you find in any situation. Being content doesn’t mean being satisfied with a bad situation, it simply means having a good attitude as you work your way out of it.
“A problem is something that can be solved. A fact of life is something that must be accepted.”
Some people get into trouble because they focus their attention on things beyond their control. The key to positive action is to know the difference between a problem and a fact of life.
“If you want to achieve, you have to win the war in your thinking first.”
You can’t let the failure outside you get inside you. You can’t control the length of your life, but you can control its width and depth. You can’t control the contour of your face but control its expression. You can’t control the weather but you can control the atmosphere of your mind. So why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you? As Roger Crawford once said that “handicaps can only disable us if we let them. This is true not only of physical challenges, but of emotional ones as well. I believe that real and lasting limitations are created in our minds, not our bodies.
“Most of us do not like to look inside ourselves for the same reason, we do not like to open a letter that has bad news.”
Many people see all the bad and deny the good, or they see all the good and deny the bad. To reach your potential, you must see both. You will improve only if you enthusiastically develop your God-given abilities.
“When you know people’s values, you can add value to them.”
To add value to others, you need to start putting others ahead of yourself in your mind and heart. If you can do it there, you will be able to put them first in your actions. If you can discover how people spend their time and money, you will know what they value, and when you know people’s value, you can add value to them.
“You give all you can to the people who are important to you. And you can do that only if you learn to get over yourself.”
Be more concerned with what you can give rather than what you can get because giving truly is the highest level of living. If a selfish streak has been keeping you from getting over yourself, examine your attitude, and determine to make meeting the needs of others a priority in your life.
“Failure is either your friend or your enemy and you are the one who chooses which it is.”
If you play a dirge every time you fail, then failure will remain your enemy, but if you are determined to learn from your failures, then you actually benefit from them and that makes failure your friend. If you repeatedly use your failures as a springboard to success, then failure can become your best friend.
“If there is any single factor that makes success in living, it is the ability to draw dividends from defeat.”
Every success has been reached because the person was able to analyse defeat and actually profit from it in the next undertaking. Determining what went wrong in a situation has value, but taking that analysis another step and figuring out how to use it to your benefit is the real difference made when it comes to failing forward. Sometimes the benefit comes from learning something that will help you avoid similar mistakes in the future.
“Two men looked from prison bars, one saw mud and the other stars.”
If your circumstances constantly get you down, then maybe it’s time for a change not in your situation, but in your attitude. If you can learn to make the best of any situation, you can remove a formidable obstacle that stands between you and your dreams.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
No, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
The book doesn’t contain exercises, simply some commitments.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10
The Nature of Personal Reality
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author here is trying to give us the techniques and ideas to be used in normal daily living, to enrich the life that we know and to help us understand and solve our problems.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. Connection, reality and the beliefs on our universe
We live in a world of physical facts but these springs from a deeper realm of creativity, and in a real sense fact are frictions that spring alive in our experience. We can change our experiences by altering our beliefs about ourselves and physical existences. So, we create our personal reality through our conscious beliefs about ourselves, others and the world. We are gods Couche in creaturehood, given the ability to form our experience as our thoughts and feelings become actualized. The mass condition of the world and the situation of each individual in it, is the materialization of man’s progress as he forms his world. Our environment is the physical picture of our thoughts, emotions and beliefs made visible. Since our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs move through space and time, you therefore affect physical conditions separate from us.
As our beliefs change there will be alterations in our experience and behaviour, and point of stress, creative stress while we are learning. We are unlimited by nature, born into flesh to materialize as best we can the great joy and spontaneity of our nature. Imagination also plays an important part in our subjective life, as it gives mobility to your beliefs, imagination is one of the motivating agencies that helps transform our beliefs into physical experience. So, it is vital therefore that we understand the interrelationship between idea and imagination in order to dislodge unsuitable beliefs and establish new ones, we must learn to use our imagination to move concepts in and out of our mind. So, the proper use of imagination can then propel ideas in the directions we desire.
ii. Belief’s origin, creation of our body and the beliefs’ structure power
Our beliefs form our reality, shaping our life and all of its conditions. The only way to become aware of our beliefs, aware of our own conscious thoughts and change our beliefs so that we bring them more in line with the kind of reality we want to experience. Imagination and emotion will then automatically come into play to reinforce the new beliefs. We are setting out to experience the most fulfilled reality that we can. To do this we have, hopefully begin to examine our beliefs, we may want others to change, in doing so we begin with ourselves so as we alter the beliefs, the physical evidence will gradually begin to prove our new beliefs as faithfully as it did our old one. We must work with our own ideas.
Our body is an artistic creation, formed and constantly maintained at a conscious level, but quite in line with your belief about what and who we are. The body reacts not so much to physical sound as to the interior sounds into which the physical sounds are translated. It also reacts to sounds that have no physical effect. We live in the body of our beliefs; we perceive through the body of our beliefs. Our beliefs can increase our vision or diminish it. They can increase or diminish our hearing or any sense function. To act in an independent manner, you must begin to initiate action that you want to occur physically by creating it in our own being. This is done by combining belief, emotion and imagination and forming them into a mental picture of desired physical result.
iii. Life creation using our thoughts and beliefs
Our beliefs about what is desirable and what is not, what is good and what is evil, cannot be divorced from the condition of our body. Our own ideas of value can help us achieve good health or bring about disease, can bring into our experience’s success or failure, happiness or sadness. Yet each of us will interpret that last remark in line with our own value system, you have definite ideas about what success or failure means or good or evil is. Our own value system then is built up of our beliefs about reality, and those beliefs form our experiences. Our thoughts create our reality. So, we become all the more frightened at mental or actual expressions of an aggressive nature. We with our conscious mind are to discriminate among those thoughts as to which ones we want to form into our system of beliefs but in so doing, we are not to pretend blindness. The aware mind can change its beliefs and so to a large extent it can alter its bodily experience. We are here to expand our consciousness, to learn the ways of creativity as directed through conscious thought.
iv. The relationship between our beliefs and our daily experiences satisfaction
We cannot fall from grace nor can it be taken from us, we can ignore it, we can hold beliefs that blind us to its experience. We are still great but unable to perceive our own uniqueness and integrity, and blind also to other attributes with which we are automatically gifted. When we fully comprehend that we form what we think of as our current reality, all else will fall into place. Our beliefs, thoughts and feelings are instantly materialized physically. Their earthly reality occurs simultaneously with their inception, but in the world of time lapse between appear to occur. One cause the other but all are at one! Our thoughts and beliefs form our reality. We cannot fear our own being and expect to travel through it, so explore its dimensions, face our beliefs honestly and find out the reason for the difficulty.
v. Our healing abilities and the present point of power
The body is not just a tool to be used. It is not just a vehicle for the spirit. It is the spirit in flesh. There is no difference between the energy that shapes our ideas and the energy that grows a flower or that heals our finger if we burn it. Our thoughts are as natural as the cells within our body and as real, our conscious ideas, expectations and beliefs direct the health and activity of the cells. The cells do not have free will in our terms, they have the innate capacity to form other organizations, but not while affiliated with us. To leave us healthy within the framework of their nature, they also help maintain ours.
The use of our private energy brings us into intimate relationship with our own source of power, then the knowledge of our own power releases us from all fears, and hence of all rage. We are given the gift of the gods; we create our reality according to our beliefs; ours is the creative energy that makes our world there are no limitations to the self except those we believe in. We create our life through the inner power of our being, whose source is within us and yet beyond the selves that we know. Use those creative abilities with understanding abandon. Honour ourselves and move through the godliness of our being.
vi. How to turn our dreams into reality
Think of ourselves as a physical creature now, know that later we will still operate through another form, but the body and the material world are our present modes of expression. Our thoughts and beliefs form our reality, no magic therapy only an understanding of our own great creativity and knowledge that we ourselves make our world. In physical life the soul is clothed in chemicals, and we will use the ingredients we take into our body to form an image that is in line with our beliefs. If we believe that the chemicals in certain foods will harm us drastically and bring about disastrous consequences, then even small doses of these can do us harm. The conscious mind is meant to align all of our capabilities in accordance with its beliefs about the nature of reality, we cannot be happy while believing that we have no right to happiness or that you are unworthy of it. We cannot tell ourselves to release aggressive thoughts if we think it is wrong to free them, so we must come to grips with our beliefs in all instances. By going along with feelings, we unify our emotional, mental and body state.
Our freedom will allow for the freedom of any belief including one that says we are unworthy, with no right to our existence. Because we have free will we have the responsibility and the gift, the joy and the necessity of working with our beliefs and of choosing our personal reality as we desire. Our beliefs form the pivot of our present experience. We can change the picture of our life at any time if only we realize that it is simply the one portrait of ourselves that we have created from an unlimited number of probable ones. We will do this by concentrating upon what we want, but feeling no conflict between that and what we have, because one will not conflict between that and what we have, because one will not contradict the other, each will be seen as a reflection of belief in daily life. So, we form our reality now, through the intersection of soul in flesh and in our terms the present is our point of power. Our conscious thoughts and concentrations bring about results with which we are pleased.
vii. The power of affirmation to structure the new beliefs
Affirmation means saying yes to ourselves and to the life we lead, and accepting our own unique personhood. Affirmation is based upon the realization that no other consciousness is the same as our own, that our abilities are uniquely ours and like no others. It is the acceptance of our individuality in flesh, it is a spiritual, psychic and biological necessity and represents our appreciation of our singular integrity. If we affirm the rightness of our physical being, then we help the cells and organs in our body and without knowing it treat them kindly. Affirmation means that we declare our individuality, we embrace the life that is ours and flows through us.
Trusting our feelings will lead us to psychological and spiritual states of mystic understanding, calm and peacefulness. In any given case all of this is consciously available to us. It requires only an honest and determined attempt to become aware of our own feelings and beliefs. Affirmation is the acceptance of ourselves in our present as the person that we are, within that acceptance we may find qualities that we wish we did not have, or habits that annoy us. We must not expect to be perfect; our ideas of perfection mean a state of fulfilment beyond which there is no future growth and no such state exists.
Self-pride is the loving recognition of our own integrity and value. True humility is based upon this affectionate regard for yourself, plus the recognition that we are in a universe in which all other beings also possess this undeniable individuality and self-worth. Affirmation always involves the acknowledgement of your power in the present. The affirmation of ourselves projected into the future mode such an incident is possible, in the same way our acceptance of ourselves and our own integrity can, at any moment in our present, alter our past and future. If we have a loving regard for ourselves, then we will trust in our own direction. We will accept our present position, whatever it is, as being a part of that direction and realize that from it can come all the creative elements that we need. When we affirm our own lightness in the universe, then we cooperate with others easily and automatically as a part of our own nature we being ourselves, help others be themselves. We are given the gift of the gods; we create our reality according to our beliefs; ours is the creative energy that makes our world there are no limitations to the self except those we believe in.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
By embracing the ideas and practical techniques in this book will help me to solve my everyday barrier and create my life as what it is it wants. it will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-direction, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to achieve my goals. It will also be a great benefit to me on my spiritual journey and helped to see another way of looking at the world.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
The whole book’s ideas were so interesting, but here are some highlighted most touched;
“An examination of your conscious thoughts will tell you much about the state of your inner mind, your intentions and expectations, and will often lead you to a direct confrontation with challenges and problems.”
What exists physically exists first in thought and feeling. Your present feelings and expectations can always be used to check your progress. If you don’t like your experience, then you must change the nature of your conscious thoughts and expectations. You must alter the kind of messages that you are sending through your thoughts to your own body, to friends and associates.
“The living picture of the world grows within the mind.”
Individual takes a hand, each colour, each line that appears within it has first been painted within a mind, and only then does it materialize without. The great creativity of consciousness is your heritage, you project what you think you are outward into flesh, your feelings, your conscious and unconscious thoughts, all alter and form your physical image.
“You are in physical existence to learn and understand that your energy translated into feelings, thoughts and emotions, causes all experience.”
Once you understand this you have only to learn to examine the nature of your beliefs, for these will automatically cause you to feel and think in certain fashions. Your emotions follow your beliefs, it is not the other way around.
“Your entire physical environment is the materialization of your beliefs.”
Your sense of joy, sorrow, health or illness all of these are also caused by your beliefs. If you believe that a given situation should make you happy, then it will, and the unhappiness will then reinforce the condition. Within you is the ability to change your ideas about reality and about yourself to create a personal living experience that is fulfilling to yourself and others.
“The first important step is to realize that your beliefs about reality are just those beliefs about reality and not necessarily attributes of reality.”
You must make a clear distinction between you and your beliefs. You must then realize that your beliefs physically materialize what you believe to be true in your experience is true. To change the physical effect, you must change the original belief, while being quite aware that for a time physical materialization of the old beliefs may still hold.
“Your effective power of action follows the lines of your beliefs.”
To believe in your own weakness is to deny yourself the power of action. To accept uncritically all beliefs that come to you is to open yourself to a barrage of conflicting data at best, in which the clear lines of action and power become blurred. You must learn to deal with your own beliefs directly or you will be forced to deal with them indirectly by reacting to them quite without knowing it in your physical experience.
“Many of your problems result from the fact that you do accept the responsibility of your own consciousness.”
It is meant to assess the reality that is unconsciously formed in direct replacement of your thoughts and expectations. When you do not embrace this conscious knowledge, but refuse it, you are not using one of the finest tools ever created by your species, and you are to a large extent denying your birth right and heritage.
“A man who is sure of himself is not angry at every slight done to him, nor does he carry grudges. A man who fears for his own worth, however, is furious under such conditions.”
The free flow of your emotions will always lead you back to your conscious beliefs if you do not impede them. Your feelings always change the chemical balance of your body and alter its hormonal output, but the danger comes only when you refuse to face the contents of your conscious mind. Even the intent to know yourself, to face the reality of your experience, can be of great benefit, generating emotions that will provide an energy and impetus to begin.
“The present is the point of power.”
All your physical, mental and spiritual abilities are focused together, then in the brilliant concentration of present experience. Your present beliefs in a manner of speaking are like the direction given to the entire personality simultaneously organizing and reorganizing past experience according to your current concepts of reality.
“ You must look within yourself for evidence of what you want in terms of positive experience.”
Imagine your future from the power point of the present. It is only natural to construct what you want with what you have, and it is very easy to become discouraged in doing so, but looking for errors in the past will not help you. Use visualization or verbal thought whatever comes most naturally to you, but for that period do not concentrate upon any lacks just upon your desire. Use all your energy and attention, then forget about it. do not check to see how well it is working. Simply make sure that in that period your attention is clear according to your own individual situation, make one physical gesture or act that is inline with your belief or desire.
“If you accept no worth in yourself, you cannot see it in anyone else either.”
True self-pride allows you to perceive the integrity of your fellow human beings and permits you to help them use their strengths. Those who fear to affirm their own being also fear to let others live for themselves. The natural force of love is everywhere within you, and the normal methods of communication are always meant to bring you in greater contact with your fellow creatures. So, love yourself and do yourself just honour and you will deal fairly with others.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
No, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
The book does contain some practical exercises, and I did my best to initiate them into my daily habits.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 7
B. How helpful were the contents? 8
C. How easy was it to understand? 7
D. Would you recommend it to others? 8
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 7.5
The 5 Second Rule
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author here is trying to show us how we can use the 5 second rule to master self-monitoring and become more present and productive. To stop doubting and start believing in ourselves, our ideas and our abilities, and to find our inner strength in order to become a better and much happier person.
She is also revealing to us how we can transform our life exactly in the way we wish to, by enriching our self-confidence, passion and connection with people we love around us.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
The seven ideas which inspired me the most are:
i. How can we transform our everyday life by using the five second rule
One moment of courage can change your day, one day can change your life and one life can change the world. Courage reveals to us the greatest version of ourselves. Discover our courage, we will be capable of accomplishing and experiencing anything we dream about. Every single day we face moments that are difficult, uncertain, and scary. Our life requires courage, by using the five second rule will exactly help us discover the courage to become our greatness selves. We have greatness inside of us even at our lowest point, greatness is there, once we use the rule it will clarify and hear that greatness and the courage to act on it. Change requires us to do things that feel hard and scary. Change requires courage and confidence. Our instinct may seem stupid in the moment, but when we honour them with deliberate action, it can change our life. There is a powerful connection between our brain and our instinct to act. When we set a goal, our brain opens up a task list, whenever we are near things that can help us achieve those goals, our brain fires up our instincts to signal to get that goal completed. So, the moment we have an instinct to act on a goal we must 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move or our brain will stop us. Counting and moving are actions, by teaching yourself to take action when normally you’d stop yourself by thinking, you create remarkable change. Counting backwards does a few important things simultaneously, it distracts you from your worries, it focuses your attention on what you need to do, it prompts you to act and it interrupts the habits of hesitating, over-thinking and holding yourself back.
ii. Our expectation toward five second rule
Pushing ourselves to take simple actions creates a chain reaction in our confidence and our productivity. By pushing ourselves to take simple steps of moving our life forward, we create momentum and experience a sense of freedom and power that’s hard to accurately describe. The more that we believe that we are in control of our life, our actions and our future, the happier and more successful we’ll be. If we want to improve our life, we’ll need to get off our rear end and kick our own butt. Using the rule strengthens our belief that we do have the ability to control our own fate, because we are proving it to ourselves one push at time. As we use the rule more and more, we will begin to feel courage, confidence, pride and a sense of control. The rule doesn’t make these things easy; it makes them happen, it’s not the big moves that define our lives, it’s the smallest ones in our everyday life that do.
As we use the rule over time, we’ll experience a shift inside ourselves that is much deeper, a transformation that impacts confidence and inner strength. We will come face to face with excuses, habits, feelings, insecurities and fears that have haunted us for years. We will see the bullshit we put ourselves through every day and how much precious time we waste waiting for things to change. Every phase of your life and career will require a different you, so by using the rule you’ll become the person you are meant to become in this next phase of your life. Knowing what you need to do to improve your life takes wisdom, pushing yourself to do it takes courage. You can use this to push yourself to create new habits, pull yourself away from destructive habits, and master the skills of self, monitoring and self-control so that you can be more intentional and effective in your relationships with yourself and others. The rule will quiet your self-doubt and build confidence as you push yourself to pursue your passions, share your ideas at work, volunteer for projects that stretch you, create your art and become a better leader.
iii. Everyday courage and on what our decision based on
Everyday life is full of moments that are scary, uncertain, and difficult. Facing these moments and unlocking the opportunity, magic, and joy in our life requires tremendous courage. Courage is a push, the kind of push we give ourselves when we stand up, speak up, show up, go first, raise our hand, or do whatever feels hard, scary or uncertain.
As Martin Luther King once mentioned that “the time is always right to do what is right.” In the amount of time it takes to raise your hand in a meeting, you can change how you are perceived at work. In the amount of time it takes to open your mouth and compliment someone, you could brighten someone’s day. And if you don’t the moment will pass. Life is dread hard, yet we make it so much harder when we listen to our fears, we convince ourselves to wait, and we hold our greatest selves back. The power is inside of you, the only way you access that power is pushing yourself to try. You will never stop yourself from starting to worry about something, but you can stop yourself from letting those worries drag you into a parade of worries that take control of your mind. You can assert yourself and push yourself to think about something empowering, you step back into the present moment and go for what you want and you can do it in five seconds flat. So, stop waiting, it’s now or never because there is no right time. There is only one right now.
The world rewards those who are courageous enough to stop waiting and start, the person who has the courage to start, create, and put themselves and their ideas out there is the one who will win. You push yourself to get out of your comfort zone and you begin, you stop waiting for the right time and you start. Waiting, thinking, and almost doing it don’t count, to change anything you actually have to do it.
We make almost every single decision not with logic, not with our hearts, not based on our goals or dreams but with our feelings. Our feelings in the moment are almost never aligned with what is best for us, we opt for what feels good now or feels easier rather than doing the thing that we know in our hearts will make us better in the long run. The moment that you realize your feelings are the problem, you now have the ability to beat them and once you understand the role feelings play in how you make a decision, you will be able to beat them. You feel before you think, you feel before you act, logically we know what we should do but our feelings about doing it make our decision for us. How you feel in the moment is almost never aligned with your goals and your dreams, if you only act when you feel like it, you will never get what you want, you must learn how to separate what you feel from the action that you take.You must push right through the feelings that stop you and do the work to break the habits that hold you back. And then you need to replace each and every one of these destructive habits with a habit of courage.
iv. How to become the most health, productive and end procrastination
Thinking about being healthier won’t make you healthier, you must take action. So, stop thinking about how you feel, your feelings don’t matter, the only thing that matters is what you do. When you follow your instincts to lead a healthier lifestyle by taking courageous action, change starts to happen in your life. It takes courage to be honest with yourself about what you want, it takes courage to assert yourself to start, often that first step is the hardest. so, life is about the choices we make, you can always choose how you act. Exercise and health come down to one simple rule, you don’t have to feel like it, you just have to do it.
The ability to manage distractions so that you can focus moment-to-moment on the task at hand, and the skill of focusing on what’s truly important to you in the big picture, so you don’t waste your day on unnecessary things are the way of focusing on what you need to master productivity. And the main thing driving procrastination is not avoiding work, it is avoiding stress. Procrastination is a subconscious desire to feel good right now so you can feel a little stress relief.
v. How to become the happiest person we want to
When your mind takes you somewhere sad, dark, doubtful or negative you don’t have to go with it. when you find your inner voice becoming an enemy, it’s important to stop worrying and recognise that in those 5 seconds you can reclaim control. So, happiness comes when you stop worrying, end anxiety and beat fear. The key to beat anxiety is understanding it; if you can catch it right as it kicks in and reframe it, you’ll stabilize your thoughts before your mind escalates it into full blown panic. So, master your mind and anything is possible.
vi. How to build the real confidence
As Joseph Campbell one day said that, “the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” A big mistake people make is thinking that confidence is a matter of personality, confidence just means that you believe in yourself, your ideas, and your capabilities. It is not a personality trait, it’s a skill. So, confidence in yourself is built through acts of everyday courage, confidence is created by the small things you do every single day that build trust in yourself. When you lose touch with the real you, you will feel adrift, you’ll lose confidence and your life will lose its flavour of congruency.
Confidence is built when you do things that affirm your sense of self, particularly when they are things that you might not normally do, like getting up on time, speaking in front of your church. These are acts of everyday courage and they build confidence. The more that you practice acts of courage, the more that you will believe you are in control of your life and as a result, the more confident that you will become. Doing things that scare you actually make you more confident, if you have the courage to take action, your confidence will follow. So, speak from your heart, even if your voice shakes.
vii. Pursuing passion and enriching our relationship
What stops people from finding their passion is that they can’t get out of their thoughts and move into action. Your curiosity is how instincts get you to pay attention to what your heart really cares about, if you can’t stop thinking, make something your new hobby and also pay close attention to envy. If you find yourself jealous of someone else, explore that feeling, what aspect of their life are you jealous for? This may give you a clue into what you really want for yourself. Next, push yourself to take simple steps to explore that subject; read about it, watch video tutorials, talk to people, take a class, and write a plan, you’ll be surprised by what happens over time. First you take a class, a class leads to a certification, a certification leads to conversations, conversations lead to opportunities, small opportunities lead to larger ones.
As Paulo Coello mentioned that “an act of courage is always an act of love.” Intimacy takes courage, risking getting emotional or upsetting someone so that you can express yourself is scary, but the result is magical. To feel worthy, you must first make your own instincts worthy of your attention and your effort. The truth is the shortest distance between two people and it may very well save your relationship, silence creates distance. Truth creates real connection. So, all our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
By embracing the ideas and practical techniques in this book will help me to solve my everyday barrier and create my life as what it is it wants. it will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-direction, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to achieve my goals.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
The whole book’s ideas were so interesting, but here are some highlighted most touched:
“You are one decision away from a completely different life.”
You will not only wake up and realize just how much you’ve held yourself back. You will also awaken the power that’s been inside of you all along, you ignored your fear and let your courage and your confidence speak for you.
“ When you act with courage, your brain is not involved, your heart speaks first and you listen.”
It is the work of learning how to have and trust yourself enough to stop waiting and to start learning into all magic, opportunity, and joy that your life, work and relationship have to offer.
“You can use the rule to control your life.”
You can use the rule to stop the barrage of negative thoughts and endless worries that weigh you down. You can also break the habit of anxiety and beat any fear, when you take control of your mind you will be able to think about things that bring you joy instead of focusing on the negative.
“ Whatever reason you use to hold yourself back you are wrong.”
It’s not safer to stay quiet, it’s not better to keep the peace, it’s not futile to try, it’s not risky if you are wrong. There is no right time to improve your life, the moment you move you’ll discover your strength. That’s the way to bring the real you to the table by pushing the real you out of your head and into the world and the best time to do it is right now when your heart tells you to move.
“Stop waiting. It is now or never.”
When you wait, you aren’t procrastinating. You are doing something dangerous; you are deliberately convincing yourself now is not the time, you are actively working against your dreams. You may think you are protecting yourself from judgement, rejection or upsetting someone, but when you make excuses and talk yourself into waiting, you are limiting your ability to make your dreams come true.
“The difference between people who make their dreams come true and those of us who don’t is just one thing; the courage to start and the discipline to keep going.”
You can feel uncertain and be ready, you can be afraid and do it anyway you can fear rejection and still go for it. The only thing that matters is the beginning of the story and how you listen to your heart, the treasure in your life is buried within you not inside of someone else. You are the source of the power in your life, you unlock that power when you listen to your instincts and push yourself to honour them. When you discover your inner true self, it will be the most important gift of all.
“If you don’t learn how to untangle your feelings from your actions, you will never unlock your true potential.”
You must push right through the feelings that stop you and do the work to break the habits that hold you back. And then you need to replace each and every one of these destructive habits with a habit of courage.
“ You can’t control how you feel. But you can always choose how you act.”
To achieve much there is a skill we have to learn; the ability to separate from our emotions and push our bodies and mouths to move. Feelings are merely suggestions; the greatest achiever ignores them. To change, you must do the same. You must ignore how you feel.
“How you wake up is just as important as how you sleep.”
We sleep in cycles that take about 90 to 110 minutes to complete. About two hours before you wake up, the sleep cycles end and your body starts to slowly prepare to wake up. When your alarm rings your body starts in wakeup mode. If you hit the snooze alarm 15 minutes later the cortical region of your brain, which is the part of the brain responsible for decision making, attention, alertness and self-control, is still in the sleep cycle. It won’t be able to snap awake. It needs 75 more minutes to finish what that snooze button started. That’s why you feel so darn groggy when you get up after hitting the snooze. It’s not because you didn’t get enough sleep, it’s because once you hit the snooze button, you started a new sleep cycle and then interrupted it.
“It’s much easier to convince your brain that all those nervous feelings are just excitement rather than to try to calm yourself down.”
It doesn’t actually lower the feelings surging through your body. It just gives your mind an explanation that empowers you, you stay in control and agitation in your body will start to calm down as you begin to move. As soon as you feel the anxiety take over your body, take control of your mind, 5-4-3-2-1 just start telling yourself I am so excited and push yourself to move forward.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
No, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
The book does contain some practical exercises, and I did my best to initiate them into my daily habits.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10
How Successful People Think
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author in this book reveals to us that we are the product of our thoughts, what we think, we become. If we want to change our life completely, we have to change our thoughts. Good thinking can do many things for us; generate revenue, solve problems and create opportunities. It can also take us to a whole new level personally and professionally.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. Think big and engage in focused thinking
A human mind with the ability to think well is like a diamond mine that never runs out, it’s priceless. So, if you want to be a better thinker tomorrow than you are today you have to look for thinking process started because what you put in always impacts what come out, spend time with the right people in fact to become a good thinker, you must become intentional about the thinking process and once you engage in the process of good thinking, you can use your emotions to feed the process and create mental momentum.
If you want to consistently generate ideas, you need to find a place where you can think and plan to capture your thoughts on paper so that you don’t lose them. When you find a place to think your thoughts, your thoughts find a place in you. And if you want your thoughts to make an impact, you need to land them with others so that they can someday be implemented. Learning how to master the process of thinking well leads you to productive thinking, if you can develop the discipline of good thinking and turn it into a lifetime habit, then you will be successful and productive all of your life.
As David Schwartz once said “where success is concerned, people are not measured in inches or pounds or college degrees or family background; they are measured by the size of their thinking.” Big picture thinkers bring wholeness and maturity to a person’s thinking, it brings perspective. It’s like making the frame of a picture bigger, in the process expanding not only what you can see, but what you are able to do. Big picture thinkers realise that there is a world out there besides their own, and they make an effort to get outside of themselves and see other people’s worlds through their eyes.
As Bertrand Russell once said “to be able to concentrate for considerable time is essential to difficult achievement.” Focused thinking removes distractions and mental clutter so that you can concentrate on an issue and think with clarity. The greater the difficulty of a problem or issue, the more focused thinking time is necessary to solve it. Focus helps you to know the goal and to achieve it.
ii. Employ realistic and hone a creative thinking
If you are not as creative as you would like to be, you can change your way of thinking. Creative thinking isn’t necessarily original thinking, creative thinking is a composite of other thoughts discovered along the way. As Annette Moser Wellman once mentioned “the most valuable resource you bring to your work and your firm is your creativity. More than what you get done, more than the role you play, more than your title, more than your output, it’s your idea that matters.” She continued by saying that “highly creative people are dedicated to ideas. They don’t rely on their talent alone; they rely on their discipline; their imagination is like a second skin. They know how to Manipulate it to its fullest.” No matter what you are currently able to do, creativity can increase your capability. Creativity is being able to see what everybody else has seen and think what nobody else has thought so that you can do what nobody else has done. Sometimes creative thinking lies along the line of invention, where you break new ground. Others moved along the lines of innovation, which helps you to do old things in a new way, but either way. It’s seeing the world through sufficiently new eyes so that new solutions appear. So, if you want to be more creative, challenge boundaries.
Max Deupree wrote that “the first responsibility of a leader is to define reality.” Reality is the difference between what we wish for and what is. You have to engage in realistic thinking if you want to solve problems and learn from your mistakes, cultivating the ability to be realistic in your thinking will not undermine your faith in people, nor will it lessen your ability to see and seize opportunities. Instead, it will add value to you in other ways. Leaders who think realistically and plan accordingly position their organization to win. That gives their people confidence in them. If you don’t get close enough to a problem you can’t tackle it. if you don’t take a realistic look at your dream and what it will take to accomplish it, you will never achieve it. realistic thinking helps to pave the way for bringing any dream to fruition. The truth will set you free but first it will make you angry, if you want to become a realistic thinker, however you need to get comfortable dealing with the truth and face up to it. One of the keys to realistic thinking is aligning your resources with your objectives. Looking at pros and cons and examining worst-case scenarios will make you aware of any gaps between what you desire and what really is. Once you know what those gaps are, you can use your resources to fill them.
iii. Explore possibility and utilize strategic thinking
Strategic thinking helps you to plan, to become more efficient, to maximize your strengths, and to take the most direct path toward achieving any objective. Strategic thinking takes complex issues and long-term objectives, much can be very difficult to address and breaks them down into manageable sizes. It can also help you simplify the management of everyday life, strategic thinking is the bridge that links where you are to where you want to be. It gives direction and credibility today and increases your potential for success tomorrow, it is like saddling your dreams before you rich them.
Strategic thinking is like showering, said Olan Hendrix, if you expect to solve any major problem once, you are in far disappointment. Little things can be won easily through systems and personal discipline, but major issues need major strategic thinking time. If you want to be an effective strategic thinker, then you need to become a continuous strategic thinker. Sam Ewing once said that “nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said could not be done.” People who embrace possibility thinking are capable of accomplishing tasks that seem impossible because they believe in solutions. If you open yourself up to possibility thinking, you open yourself up too many other possibilities. Being a possibility thinker can create new opportunities and attract people, if you want to achieve big things, you need to become a possibility thinker. If you want to achieve something, give yourself permission to believe that it is possible no matter what experts might say.
iv. Reflect from our experiences and learn from them
Your goal is to reflect so that you might learn from your success and mistakes, discover what you should try to repeat and determine what you should change. By mentally visiting past situations, you can think with greater understanding. When you reflect, you are able to put an experience into perspective. You are able to evaluate its timing and you are able to gain a new appreciation for things that before went unnoticed. Reflective thinking encourages us to go back and spend time pondering what we have done and what we have seen. As Socrates once said that” the unexamined life is not worth living.” Reflective thinking gives your perspective within context, it allows you to continually connect with your journey, and it provides counsel and direction concerning your future.
v. Analyse the popular thinking
If you want to become a good thinker, then start preparing yourself for the possibility of becoming unpopular. As Kevin Myers once advised us that” the problem with popular thinking is that it doesn’t require you to think at all.” Many people for safety and security. They figure that if a lot of people are doing something, then it must be right, it must be a good idea. If most people accept it, then it probably represents fairness, equality, compassion, and sensitivity. We limit our success when we adopt popular thinking. It represents putting in the least energy to just get by. You must reject common thinking if you want to accomplish uncommon results. If you want to succeed, you need to think about what’s best, not what’s popular. One of the ways to embrace innovation and change is to learn to appreciate how others think. To do that you must continually expose yourself to people different from yourself.
vi. Practice and benefit from shared thinking
Good thinkers, especially those who are also good leader, understand the power of shared thinking. They know that when they value the thoughts and ideas of others, they receive the compounding results of shared thinking and accomplish more than they ever could on their own. Working with others is like giving yourself a shortcut, wonderful synergy often occurs as the result of shared thinking. It can take you to place you’ve never been. A person who values cooperation desires to complete the ideas of others, not compete with them. If someone ask you to share ideas, focus on helping the team, not getting ahead personally. And if you are the one who brings people together to share their thoughts, praise the idea more than the source of the idea. If the best idea always wins, then all will share their thoughts with greater enthusiasm.
Unselfish thinking can often deliver a return greater than any other kind of thinking. When you think unselfishly and invest in others, you gain the opportunity to create a legacy that will outlive you. If you want to become less selfish in your thinking, then you need to stop thinking about your wants and focus on other’s needs. As Paul the Apostle advised us “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only look to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” The point is to learn how to give and cultivate the habit of thinking like a giver. Once you have learned to give of yourself, then the next step is to learn to give when you cannot receive anything in return.
vii. Think from bottom-line
When you know your bottom-line, it becomes much easier to know how you’re doing in any given area, decision becomes much easier when you know your bottom-line. When you know the bottom line and go after it, you greatly increase your odds of winning. And nothing generates high morale like winning. Hitting the target feels exhaling and you can hit it only if you know what it is. If you want to be successful tomorrow, you need to think bottom line today. The process of bottom-line thinking begins with knowing what you’re really going after. The first step is to set aside your wants get to the results you are really looking for, the true essence of the goals. Set aside any emotions that may cloud your judgement and remove any politics that may influence your perception. Bottom-line thinking cannot be a one -time thing, it has to be built into the system of working and relating and achieving. You can’t just tune into the desired result every now and then achieving with bottom-line thinking must be a way of life, or it will send conflicting messages. When it comes right down to it, regardless of your bottom-line you can Improve it with good thinking and bottom-line thinking has a great return because it helps to turn your idea into results. Like no other kind of mental processing, it can help you to reap the full potential of your thinking and achieve whatever you desire.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
By embracing the ideas and practical techniques in this book will help me to solve my everyday barrier and create my life as what it is I want it. it will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-direction, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to achieve my goals.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“Good thinker are successful.”
Those who develop the process of good thinking can rule themselves even while under an oppressive ruler or other difficult circumstances. How they think, that’s the one thing that separate successful people from unsuccessful ones, and how successful people think can be learned. If you change your thinking, you can change your life.
“One good thought doesn’t make a good life.”
Success comes to those who have an entire mountain of gold that they continually mine, not those who find one nugget and try to live on it for fifty years. To become someone who can mine a lot of gold, you need to keep repeating the process of good thinking.
“The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use, we make of them; a man may live long yet live very little.”
You can spend your life any way you want, but you can spend it only once. Becoming a big picture thinker can help you to live with wholeness, to live a very fulfilling life. People who see the big picture expand their experience because they expand their world. As result, they accomplish more than narrow-minded people. And they experience fewer unwanted surprises, too because they more like to see the many components involved in any given situation: issues, people, relationships, timing, and values. They also, therefore usually more tolerant of other people and their thinking.
“It is the dull man who is always sure, and sure man who is always dull.”
Creative people don’t feel the need to stamp out uncertainty. They see all kinds of inconsistencies and gaps in life and they often take delight in exploring those gaps or in using their imagination to fill them in.
“People who rely on hope for their success rarely make change a high priority.”
If you have only hope, you imply that achievement and success are out of your hands. It’s a matter of luck or chance. Realistic thinking can dispel that kind of wrong attitude, there is nothing like staring reality in the face to make a person recognize the need for change. Change alone doesn’t bring growth but you cannot have growth without change.
“The value of a good idea is in using it.”
The bottom line on realistic thinking is that it helps you to make an idea usable by taking away the wish factor. Most of idea and effort don’t accomplish their intended results because they rely too much on what we wish rather than what is.
“Before it can be solved, a problem must be clearly defined.”
Too many people rush to solutions, and as result they end up solving the wrong problem. To avoid that, ask probing questions to expose the real issues, challenge all of your assumptions, collect information even after you think you’ve identified the issue. Discovering your real situation and objectives is a major part of the battle, once the real issues are identified, the solutions are often simple.
“If you want to reject popular thinking in order to embrace achievement, you’ll have to get used to being uncomfortable.”
If you embrace unpopular thinking and make decisions based upon what work best and what is right rather than what is commonly accepted, know this: in your early years you won’t be as wrong as people think you are. In your later years, you won’t be as right as people think you are. And all through the years you will be better than you thought you could be.
“Getter generally don’t get happiness, givers get it.”
When you spend your day unselfishly serving others at night you can lay down your head with no regrets and sleep soundly. There is no more noble occupation in the world than to assist another human being to help someone succeed. When you get outside of yourself and made a contribution to others, you really begin to live. The ability to give unselfishly is so difficult, it goes against the grain of human nature. But if you learn to think unselfishly and become a giver, then it becomes easier to develop many other virtues; gratitude, love, respect, patience and discipline.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
No, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
The book does not contain some practical exercises.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10
21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author in this book teaches us the undeniable laws to be used when we want to be effective leaders in order to change our life and impact our society. It can also take us to a whole new level personally and professionally as leaders.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. Building relationships
Your leadership ability for better or worse determines your effectiveness and your potential impact on society, to reach the highest level of effectiveness you have to raise the lid on your leadership ability. Good leaders will look for LID lifting experiences to grow in their leadership capacity. As Albert Einstein once said “in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Good leaders seek opportunities to grow his/her leadership, search for opportunities to improve organizational structures and procedures, seize opportunities to create greater efficiency and to assist others in lifting their lids. The leader must first lift his/her lids before she/he can grow the organization, when the leader hits these lids, that is the beginning of the end for their organization. Lid lifters always demonstrate three qualities that enable them to help leaders go to the next level; their words, their actions and their sacrifice. When the real leader speaks, people listen. People become real leaders because of; relationships, sacrifice, character, relevance, vulnerability, experience, humility, competence, courage.
ii. Making the followers and influence them
Follow them and people will follow you, we each have differing gifts within the body of Christ but we are all leaders. The higher you want to climb the more you need leadership. the greater the impact you want to make, the greater your influence needs to be. The true measure of leadership is influence, nothing more nothing less. As once Celin Powell said “you have achieved excellence as a leader when people will follow you everywhere if only out of curiosity.” It is not the position that makes the leader; it’s the leader that makes the position. A leader who develops followers adds one at a time.
iii. Prepare and make a solid ground
No one becomes a leader overnight, even when someone is gifted with natural abilities, one still has to build one’s collection of leadership skills. Leadership is like investing in compounds but that process doesn’t happen overnight, it needs training and experience. Anyone can steer the ship, but it takes a leader to chart the course. Trust is the foundation of leadership, the followers need a leader that has; character, compassion, credibility, confidence, competence, commitment, contribution and courage. So, to build trust, a leader must exemplify competence, connection and character. Character makes trust possible and trust makes leadership possible.
iv. Respect yourself and others
Leaders gain respect by; respect for others, success, value added to others, courage, faithfulness, leadership ability. You can test the respect of people by the response they give when the leader asks for commitment, and the response of the people when the leader asks for change. When people respect someone as a person, they admire her. When they respect her as a friend, they love her. When they respect her as a leader, they follow her.
v. Networking and empowering your team
Who you are is who you attract! Each of us creates and projects a certain kind of energy, what you really believe about yourself, you are going to magnetize someone who believes the same thing. Who follows you share common ground in several of these key areas; attitude, generation, background, values, life experience. Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand, you can’t move people to action unless you first move them with emotion. The heart comes before the head, the stronger the relationship and connection between individuals, the more likely the follower will want to help a leader. It’s the leader’s job to initiate connection with the people, people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
Every leader’s potential is determined by people closest to him, if these people are strong then the leader can make a huge impact. If they are weak, he can’t. Only secure leaders give power to others. Empowerment brings constant change because it encourages people to grow and innovate. As once Theodore Roosevelt said that “the best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” The greatest things happen only when you give others the credit.
vi. Buy-in to land where you want to be
It takes a leader to raise up a leader, an effective leadership mentor makes the development of leaders one of its highest priorities in life, he knows that the potential of the organization depends on the growth of its leadership. The more leaders there are, the greater its chance of success. People cannot give to others what they themselves do not possess; followers simply cannot develop leaders. People buy into the leader, then the vision, you don’t get credit for being right. Your success is measured by your ability to actually take the people where they need to go. But you can do that only if the people first buy into you as a leader. So, the leaders find a way for the team to win. A leader to get victory must first bring the vision together, bring a diversity skill and be dedicated to victory and raising players to their potential. In order to win a leader must be responsible, losing is unacceptable for him/her, creativity is essential, quitting is unthinkable, commitment is unquestionable and victory is inevitable.
vii. Timing your priorities and make a sacrifice
Leaders understand that activity is not necessarily an accomplishment, when leaders have momentum on their side, people think they’re geniuses. They look past shortcomings; they forget about mistakes the leaders have made. So, a leader must give up only when he/she goes up. The higher level of leadership, the greater the sacrifice when to lead is as important as what to do and where to go. If you want to be a successful leader you have to do the right action at the right time, timing requires; understanding, experience, maturity, intuition, confidence, preparation and decisiveness. Achievement comes when someone’s able to do great things for himself, success comes when he empowers followers to do great things for him, significance comes when he develops to do great things with him, legacy comes when he raises his organization to do great things without him. Everything rises and falls on leadership, so don’t tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
By embracing the ideas and practical techniques in this book will help me to solve my everyday barrier and create my life as what it is I want it. It will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-direction, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to achieve my goals so that I can completely change my life and impact my society.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
Whole book’s ideas were so interesting, but here are some highlighted most touched:
“Every leader faces obstacles, challenges, tests and trials.”
Ineffective leaders will wait to see what happens during these times, effective leaders will act by seizing the moment and will rise to the challenge. It is the leader’s choice to change and grow, true leaders will admit mistakes or shortcomings, positional leaders do not acknowledge shortcomings or mistakes for fear people will perceive them as ineffective and/or weak.
“ Leadership develops daily, not in a day.”
No one becomes a leader overnight, even when someone is gifted with natural abilities, one still has to build one’s collection of leadership skills. As long as a person doesn’t know what he doesn’t know he doesn’t grow. To be conscious that you are ignorant of the facts is a great step to knowledge. Recognize the lack of skill and begin the daily discipline.
“Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand.”
You can’t move people to action unless you first move them with emotion, the heart comes before the head. The stronger the relationship and connection between individuals, the more likely the follower will want to help a leader. It’s the leader’s job to initiate connections with the people. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
“It takes a leader to raise up a leader.”
People cannot give to others what they themselves do not possess. Every effective leadership mentor makes the development of leaders one of his highest priorities in life. He knows that the potential of the organization depends on the growth of its leadership, the more leaders there are, the greater its chance of success.
“A leader’s lasting value is measured by succession.”
Just as in sports a coach needs a team of good players to win, an organization needs a team of good leaders to succeed. A legacy is created only when a person puts his organization into the position to do great things without him. Everything rises and falls on leadership, so don’t tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
No, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
The book does not contain some practical exercises.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9.5
The 3600 Leader
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author here is teaching us how we can adopt the quality of leading in every direction, up, across and down. In order to become more valuable in our institutions/organization and make our lives happier and more successful.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. The myths of leading from the middle of organization
Most leaders start not from the top but from the middle of an organization, you do have to be held hostage to your circumstances or position, you do not have to be the CEO to lead effectively. You can learn to make an impact through your leadership even if you report to someone who is not a good leader. You can learn to develop your influence from wherever you are in the organization by becoming a 360-degree leader. You don’t need to possess a position at the top of your group, department, division or organization in order to lead. A place at the top will not automatically make anyone a leader, the true measure of leadership is influence nothing more, nothing else.
You can only start from the position you have been given, whatever it is from that place, you have certain rights that come with your title. But if you lead people using only your position and you do nothing else to try to increase your influence, then people will follow you only because they have to. They will follow you within the boundaries of your job description. Leadership is a choice you make, not a place you sit, anyone can choose to become a leader wherever he/she is, you can make a difference no matter where you are. If you want to succeed, you need to learn as much as you can about leadership before you have a leadership position. Becoming a good leader is a lifelong learning process, if you don’t try out your leadership skills and decision-making process when the stakes are small and the risk are low, you are likely to get into trouble at higher levels when the cost of mistakes is high, the impact is for reaching and exposure is greater. Mistakes made when you are at the top, cost the organization greatly and they damage a leader’s credibility.
You may be able to grant someone a position, but you cannot grant him real leadership. Influence must be earned, a position gives you a chance, it gives you the opportunity to try out your leadership, it asks people to give you benefit of the doubt for a while. But given some time, you will learn your level of influence, for better or worse. The desire to innovate, to improve and to find a better way are leadership characteristics. In leadership no matter where you are in an organization the bottom line is always influence.
When you move up in the organization, the weight of your responsibility increases. As you move up the ladder, you may even find that the amount of responsibility you take on increases faster than the amount of authority you receive. When you go higher, more is expected of you, the pressure is greater and the impact of your decision weighs more heavily. Leadership is not meant to be an all-or-nothing proposition, if being some place other than the top has caused you great frustration, please throw in the towel. Because you can make an impact from wherever you are in an organization, even if you face additional obstacles. Being a leader stuck in the middle brings many challenges, you can learn to navigate them. Becoming an effective 360-degree leader requires principles and skills to lead the people above, besides, and below you in the organization. You can change people’s lives. You can be someone who adds value. You can learn to influence people at every level of the organization even if you never get to the top. By helping others, you can help yourself.
ii. The challenges 360-degree leaders face
One of the toughest things about being a leader in the middle of an organization is that you can’t be sure of where you stand. As a leader you have some power and authority, you can make certain decisions, you have access to some resources, you can call the people in your area to action and direct them in their work at the same time you also lack power in other areas. And if you overstep your authority, you can get yourself into trouble. Good leaders rarely think in terms of boundaries; instead, they think in terms of opportunities. They are initiators. The number one characteristic of leaders is the ability to make things happen, sometimes that desire to initiate leads to expansion of their responsibilities and their boundaries. Other times it leads to conflict with the people who lead them. You need to decide yourself if you receive enough satisfaction to keep you going where you are.
As someone leading from the middle of an organization, your ability to sustain the authority that has been invested in you is entirely dependent upon your faithfulness in serving the people who give you that authority. You must guard against the temptation to try to advance at the expense of your leader. And it would be wise not to allow yourself to have an “if I were in charge” conversation with another staff member. If you have difficulties with your leaders, talk to them about it. The key to succeeding is to learn to deal with the tension of whatever position you are in, overcome its obstacles and make the most of its advantages and opportunities. The stronger you are as a leader, the more likely you are to face a situation where you can lead more effectively than the person to whom you report.
There are so many demands on leaders in the middle of an organization they can’t afford to be rigid, they need to be able to turn on a dime or change hats at a moment’s notice. The things that benefit leaders can also make leadership difficult. Anyone who sees the positives without recognizing the negative is either naïve or inexperienced. It takes effort and intentionally, as you interact with your leaders let them know how you are advancing the vision. Get their feedback and ask questions to find out if there are other things you should know to move effectively and pass on the vision to others. The more you effectively fulfil your role as a leader in the middle, the more fulfilled you will be. If you desire to overcome the influence challenge, then develop and exhibit the kind of character that you would find admirable in a top leader. That will pave the way for relationships with others today and prepare you for non-positional leadership tomorrow.
iii. The principles 360-degree leaders practice to lead up
If you take the approach of wanting to add value to those above you, you have the best chance of influencing them. Your underlying strategy should be to support your leader, add value to the organization, and distinguish yourself from the rest of the pack by doing your work with excellence. If you do these things consistently, then in time the leader above you may learn to trust you, rely on you, and look at you for advice. With each set your influence will increase, and you will have more and more opportunities to lead up. Lead yourself, that’s where it all starts. If you wouldn’t follow yourself, should anyone else? The key to lead yourself well is to learn self-management. Self-leadership is about making good decisions every day, when the reality is that we need to make a few critical decisions in a major area of life and then manage those decisions day to day. Nothing will make a better impression on your leader than your ability to manage yourself. It’s especially critical for leaders to control their emotion because whatever they do affects many other people, good leaders know when to display emotion and when to delay them. You should put others not yourself first in how you handle and process them, whether you delay or display your emotions should not be for your own gratification. You should ask yourself, what does the team need? Not what will make me feel better?
If you want to lead up, you must always lead yourself first. if you can’t, you have no credibility. If you can’t lead yourself, others won’t follow you, respect you and partner with you. But if you make your leaders feel that they are better off because you are part of a team, then your value goes up and so does your influence. When you do more than is asked, you will certainly stand out from the crowd. When you have a whatever, it takes an attitude related to helping the organization then you emerge as a go-to player. People emerge from the crowd often become members of a leader’s inner circle. Leaders expect more from their inner circle. They come to expect a second mile mind-set from them; they expect extra effort, extra responsibility, and extra thinking. But the good leaders also give extra in return. If you are doing your own job and doing it well, chances are your leader will be glad to tell you how you can help.
As John C. Maxwell said that” successful people do the things that unsuccessful people are unwilling to do.” And David Livingstone concluded that” if you have men who will come only if they know there is a good road, I don’t want them. I want men who will come even if there is no road at all” 360-degree leaders must be willing and able to think outside of their job description to be willing to tackle the kinds of jobs that others are too proud or too frightened to take on. All you need is to know how to direct your attitude into action so that you are doing the thing that will make the greatest impact and create influence with others. If you want to lead up, you must distinguish yourself from your colleagues, one way is to take risks. You cannot play it safe and stand out at the same time. play it smart, but don’t play it safe. If you want to become a better leader, get comfortable with change and progress, and think intangibles. All we have to do is keep fighting to learn more, grow more, become more. If you want to influence the people who are ahead of you in the organization and keep influencing them, then you need to keep getting better. An investment in your growth is an investment in our ability, your adaptability and your promotability. No matter how much it costs you to keep growing and learning, the cost of doing nothing is greater. The only way to grow your organization is to grow the leader who runs it, by making yourself better, you make others better. And the time to start is today!
iv. The principles 360-degree leaders practice to lead across
Leaders must be able to lead other leaders, not just those below them but also those above and alongside them. If you can help them win, you will not only help the organization but will also help yourself. If you want to lead across you need to work for and win your peers ‘permission. That can be a great change, but it is definitely one worth accepting. If you want to gain influence and credibility with people working alongside you, then don’t try to take shortcuts or cheat the process instead learn to understand, practice and complete the leadership loop with them. Take time to talk to your peers in the organization, ask to hear their stories, try to discover their best skills, learn to appreciate their differences, ask their opinions on work-related issues. And as much as you can try to put yourself in their shoes. We should strive to see other’s unique experiences and skills as resources and try to learn from them. If you treat your peers with this kind of respect, appreciating them for what they are, then they will be more likely to respect and listen to you in return. If you want to influence your peers, share the good things you are doing with them. If you give with no strings attached and try to help others win, they will in time come to trust your motive. Great leaders don’t use people so that they can win, they lead people so that they all can win together. So, do what is right, do the best you can and treat others the way you want to be treated. As Theodore Roosevelt once said that” the most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.” Long-term success is unachievable without good people skills, without it most of the achievements are not possible and even what we do achieve can feel hollow. If you want to lead across, you need to keep working at being a friend even with people who don’t initially put any effort into being a friend back. If you become a consistently good listener to your co-workers, they will want to spend time with you. They will probably also begin asking advice from you, that is the starting point for influence with them.
You can’t grow and avoid change at the same time. If you want to expand your influence, you have to expand your circle for acquaintances. Expanding your circle will expose you to new ideas, it will prompt you to see things from different points of view which will help you generate new ideas of your own. It will help you to learn new working methods and pick up additional skills. And it will help you to become more innovative. It expands your network, putting you into contact with more people and giving you potential access to their networks. The more broadly you connect with people, the greater your potential to influence and be positively influenced by others. If you stop competing and focus your energy on creating, you will open the way for the people around you to take their creativity to the next level. Being a 360-degree leader and leading across is not about getting your own way. It’s not about winning at all costs, it’s about winning respect and influence with your peers so that you can help the whole team win. If you let the best idea win, you will win friends and influence people. If you always do your best, your peers will respect you. And if they respect you, they listen to you and give you a chance. And that’s where leadership starts.
v. The principles 360-degree leaders practice to lead down
As a 360-degree leader, when you lead down, you are doing more than just getting people to do what you want. You are finding out who they are. You are helping them to discover and reach their potential. You are showing the way by becoming a model they can follow. You are helping them become a part of something bigger than they could do on their own. And you are rewarding them for being contributors of the team. The first and foremost, leadership is a people business. Good leaders are competent but they are also intentionally connected to the people they lead. Take time to walk slowly through the halls, connect with people and give them an opportunity to make contact with you. Engage them and take them with you.
When you take interest in your people as human beings, you need to be sure not to cross the line. There is a point at which interest becomes inappropriate. You mustn’t be nosy, your desire should be to help, not to invade someone’s privacy or make them feel uncomfortable. Don’t push, if they choose to talk, don’t judge, don’t interrupt and don’t be too quick to offer advice unless they specifically ask for it. Every person has value as a human being and deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. That doesn’t mean you reward bad performance; it just means that you treat people well and take the high road with them even if they don’t do the same for you. If you have built solid relationships with your employees and they genuinely like and respect you, they will work hard and give their best. So, see and lead people as they can be, not as they are and you will be amazed by how they respond to you, not only will your relationship with them improve and their productivity increase, but you also will help them rise to their potential and become who they were created to be. As a leader, it is your job to make sure your people acquire what they need to win. It doesn’t matter what kind of team you are leading. If you don’t place people in their strength zones, you are making it almost impossible for them and you to win.
vi. The value of 360-degree leaders
Leaders begin to develop wisdom when they realize they can’t do anything significant on their own. Once they realize that, leaders can also develop more humility and begin working to build a team. Each of us needs others on the team to complete us, 360-degree leaders don’t build a team so that others can take a menial role and serve them. They don’t hire others to do the dirty work or to become errand runners. They look for the best people they can fund so that the team is the best it can be. The key to moving up as an emerging leader is to focus on leading well where you are, not on moving up the ladder. To get where you want to go, you need to focus on where you are. To get where you want to go, you need to focus on what you are doing now. Good leaders’ maxims the performance of those on their team, they set direction, they inspire their people and help them work together. They get results, all you have to do is for the teams with consistently high results. As Lorin Wolfe once said that” the ultimate test for a leader is not whether he/she makes smart decisions and takes decisive action, but whether he/she teaches others to be leaders and build an organization that can sustain its success even when he/she is not around. Being a 360-degree leader is about more than just doing a good job now and making things easier today for the working above and below you. It is about making sure the organization has a chance to be good tomorrow too. A 360-degree leader adapts an attitude of servant first, leader second. Everything they do is measured in light of the value it can add. They serve the mission of the organization and lead by serving those on the mission with them. In leadership, maturity is putting the team before oneself. What matters is that we are willing to do what it takes to make a positive impact wherever we find ourselves in life to add value in any way we can to others.
vii. How to create an environment that unleashes 360-degree leaders
If you don’t value people, you will never create a culture that develops leaders. If you focus on the people, you have the potential to win the people, the vision and bottom line. As you select people to develop, work to strike a balance between these universal desires and individual needs of your people. Try to tailor the development process for each individual as much as you can. Instead of trying to be Mr. Answer man or Ms. Fix it, when your leaders start coming into their own, move more into the background try taking on the role of wise counsellor and chief encourager. Welcome the desire of your best leader to innovate and improve the organization. When the people in an organization see the top leader growing, it changes the culture of the organization. It immediately removes many barriers between the top leader and the rest of the people, putting you on the same level with them which makes the top leader much more human and accessible. It’s also sending a clear message to everyone. When people spend time with someone and are directed by them, they learn to think the way that person thinks and do what that person does. Their performance starts to rise according to the capability of their leader.
To reach the highest level of leadership, you must continually develop leadership teams. If you want your organization to reach its potential, if you want it to go from good to great or even average to good you need to develop a team of leaders, people who can fill in each other’s gaps, people who challenge and sharpen each other. If we try to do it all ourselves, we will never get beyond the glass ceiling of our own leadership limitations. If you don’t let them, try out their wings, they will never learn to fly. That’s what the best leaders do, help others succeed. They lead, empower and then get out of the way.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
By embracing the ideas and practical techniques in this book will give me a sense of power, purpose and self-direction, they will enable me to lead in different directions, be more positive, more focused and capable of achieving my goals so that I can completely change my life and impact my society.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“Where there is no vision, the people perish.”
Because they don’t go anywhere or do anything, and that’s no way to live. People who lack vision almost always lack passion, they have no fire and no fuel to keep themselves and their people going. That doesn’t create the kind of positive environment that is exciting to work in.
“You shouldn’t treat your spouse the same way you treat your employees.”
You should change your personality according to who you are with your attitude and behaviour should be consistent and predictable with everyone. Otherwise, you won’t be trustworthy in the eyes of anyone you work with.
“The person who keeps busy helping the one who is below him won’t envy the person above him.”
With the right attitude and the right skills, you can influence others from whether you are in an organization.
“It’s more important to get along with people than to get ahead of them.”
If you make it your goal to reach out to others and build relationships with them, you will derive fulfillment wherever you are. And whatever you do, don’t give up too easily on others, if you at first don’t like them or easily connect with them, you may be surprised by how over time, a potential adversary can become an ally.
“Maturity doesn’t come with age. It begins with the acceptance of responsibility.”
When you begin looking at your life and work with more experience and a longer view, being in front doesn’t seem as important. Focusing on the responsibilities with which you are entrusted wherever you are and completing them with excellence brings greater fulfillment than position, title or prestige one gets from being on top.
“Good leader knows when to display emotion and when to develop them.”
Sometimes they show them so that their people can feel what they are feeling. By letting the team know what you are feeling, you are helping them to see what you are seeing.
Managers are people who do things right, while leaders are people who do the right things.
Leaders have a responsibility to make sure the right things are being done so that the organization will thrive tomorrow as well as today. Most people evaluate events in their lives according to how they will be personally affected, leaders think within a broader context that requires long-term thinking. Good managers may keep the production line working at low cost and peak efficiency, it would be of no value if that production line was still churning out rotary telephones. Managers often rely on rules to make sure the processes they oversee stay on track.
“Leading isn’t about controlling; it’s about releasing.”
Good leaders give their power away, they look for good people and they invest in them to the point where they can be released and empowered to perform. Leaders don’t want things to stay the same, they desire innovation, they love challenges, they want more than just seeing progress, they want to help make it happen.
“A gift opens the way for the giver and ushers him into the presence of the great.”
Be always looking for people who bring something to the table in the area of ideas. If they can be creative and generate ideas, that’s great. But also highly value people who are constructive who take an idea that someone puts on the table and make it better.
Sometimes it’s not how hard you row the boat. It’s how fast the stream is going.
Whenever you are dealing with your leader, you need to pay attention to the flow of the stream. It is very important to learn to communicate your point of view clearly to your leader. It is your responsibility to communicate what you know and give your perspective on an issue. But it’s one thing to communicate and coerce your leader. The choice your leader made is not your responsibility.
“Go-to players are the people who find a way to make things no matter what. They don’t have to be in familiar surroundings, they don’t have to be in their comfort zones.”
The circumstances don’t have to be fair or favorable, the pressure doesn’t hinder them either. If anything, the more pressure there is, the better they like it. they always produce when the heat is on. They overcome obstacles, they help move others along, they actually create energy in the organization when the rest of the team is feeling tired or discouraged. If you adopt the positive attitude and tenacity of a go-to player, and take every opportunity to make things happen, you will probably perform as he did under similar circumstances.
“If you want a tree to produce, first you have to let it grow.”
The more the tree has grown and has created strong roots that can sustain it, the more it can produce. The more it can produce, the greater its value. So, we are not all that different, the more we grow, the more valuable we are because we can produce more. As once Elbert Hubbard said that” if what you did yesterday still looks big to you, you haven’t done much today.” If you look back at the past accomplishments and they don’t look small to you now, then you haven’t grown very much since you completed them. If you look back at a job you did years ago, and you don’t think you could do it better now, then you are not improving in that area of your life.
“When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.”
360-degree leaders are like eagles: they soar; they inspire; they fly high and they don’t talk just to hear themselves. They don’t vent about someone to others to make themselves feel better. If they have a problem with a person, they go to that individual and address the issue directly never through a third party, they praise publicly and criticize privately and they never say anything about others that they wouldn’t want them to hear because they probably will.
“One of the mistakes rookie leaders often make is that they try to lead everyone the same way.”
Everyone doesn’t respond to the same kind of leadership. You should try to be consistent with everyone, you should treat everyone with kindness and respect, but don’t expect to use the same strategies and methods with everyone.
“Experience alone isn’t a good enough teacher, evaluated experience is.”
As the leader, you need to evaluate what looks like a win to make sure it is actually teaching what your employee needs to learn in order to grow and develop.
“The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.”
The leader’s attitude is like a thermostat for the place he/she works. If his/her attitude is good the atmosphere is pleasant and the environment is easy to work in. but if his/her attitude is bad, the temperature is insufferable, nobody wants to work in an environment that is overheated or icy cold.
“Immature leaders lead first, then listen afterward.”
Anytime leaders don’t listen, they don’t know the heartbeat of their people. They don’t know what their followers need or want, they don’t know what’s going on. Good leaders understand that the people closest to work are ones who are really in the know, if your people aren’t following, you need to listen more. You don’t need to come down on them, if you listen, they will be much more inclined to follow.
“Start doing what is necessary; then do what is possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”
All good leadership begins where you are. The small responsibilities you have before you now comprise the first great leadership conquest you must make. Don’t try to conquer the word until you’ve taken care of things in your own backyard.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
No, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
The book does not contain some practical exercises.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10
The Power of Self-Confidence
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The author here is teaching us how we can become unstoppable, irresistible and unafraid in every area of our lives. When we cultivate in ourselves the habit of courage and self-confidence.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. The bottom line of self-confidence
The foundation quality of success in every walk of life is self-confidence. When you develop yourself to the point where your belief in yourself is so strong that you know that you can accomplish almost anything you really want and your life will be unlimited. Anything that you think about long enough and hard enough eventually becomes a part of your mental processes, exerting its influence and power on your attitude and your behaviour. What you habitually think about eventually becomes a part of your character and your personality. The more you dwell on the people you would like to be, with the qualities you would like to have, the more you implant those deep into your subconscious mind, where they become part of your ongoing evolution.
The development of unshakable, self-confidence, therefore, begins with you taking full, complete, systematic and purposeful control of the content of the conscious mind, disciplining yourself to think constantly about only the things that you desire and to resolutely keep your mind off the things that you fear. The foundation of self-confidence is for you to live your life consistent with your innermost values and principles, while thinking and acting in harmony with your highest aspirations. The starting point of developing high levels of self-confidence and in becoming a superior human being is for you to think through and to decide on your values. Unshakable self-confidence comes from unshakable commitment to your values. When deep down inside yourself you know that you will never violate your highest principles, you experience a deep sense of personal power that enables you to deal openly and honestly and with complete self-confidence in almost every human situation. The key to developing the unshakable self-confidence that will make everything else possible for you are self-control, self-mastery and self-discipline. The foundation of self-confidence, the basics of boldness and self-assertion, is a deep inner trust, based on living a life of perfect integrity, and disciplining yourself to live consistent with your highest values in every situation.
ii. Purpose and personal power
The development of unshakable self-confidence will open up such possibilities for you as you cannot now imagine. You will be able to dream bigger dreams, set bigger goals, make greater commitments and plunge into life more wholeheartedly than you ever have before. When your self-confidence becomes unlimited, you will be able to realize more of your potential than you could under any other circumstances. True self-confidence does not come from positive wishing or positive hoping or positive thinking. It comes from positive knowing based on having proven to yourself, over and over again, that you have what it takes to get from wherever you are to where you want to go. Your job is to do whatever it takes to convince yourself in your heart that you are absolutely unstoppable and that you can achieve anything that you put your mind to. It is very important that you know exactly what it is you want and what you think of, nothing else. The more powerful the emotion, the more effect it has on your thinking and actions, the more rapid the change in your experience. If the emotion is strong enough, the change can be instantaneous.
As Carl Rogers once said “that there is within every organism an inborn drive toward the complete fulfilment of its inherent possibilities.” There is a nagging something inside that tells each person that there is far more than he/she could be and have and do. And William James completed that” compared to what we ought to be, we are only half awake. We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources starting the thing broadly, the human individual lives far within his limits. He possesses powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use.” There are inside of you, which, if you could discover and use, would make you everything you ever dreamed or imagined you could become. You need to stretch yourself toward the outermost boundaries of your potential. You need to set goals that draw out of you the very best that is in you. You need to work toward objectives that cause you to feel a sense of mastery and peak performance. Your primary job is to allow yourself to dream big dreams and determine exactly what it is you want out of life, in every area and in every dimension. Decide what’s right before you decide what’s possible, imagine that you can be or have or do virtually anything that you really want to as long as you know exactly what it is. You build confidence and personal strength by keeping your goal and by channeling your efforts purposefully each hour and each day toward their attainment.
iii. Achieving competence and personal power
With greater self-confidence, with an unshakable belief in yourself nothing would be impossible for you. More than anything else, you would feel terrific about yourself. You would experience a tremendous sense of control, which is the fundamental requirement for happiness, wellbeing, and maximum performance. As Goette once said “that before you can have something, you must first be something.” And Vince Lombardi concluded that” the quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, no matter what their chosen field.” You will only be happy, satisfied and capable of enjoying high levels of self-confidence when you know that you are absolutely excellent at doing something that is important to yourself and others. Your biggest responsibility is to make the decision to become very good, and then to become excellent at what you do. It is only when you know that you are outstanding in your chosen field that you really feel terrific about yourself, and that you enjoy high levels of self-confidence. So do what you can with what you have, where you are. It doesn’t matter where you are starting from; all that matters is where you are going. Your goal is to be recognized by those around you as outstanding in your field. Your goal must be to pay any price, overcome any obstacle, and make any effort necessary to become excellent in your chosen career. If anyone else has achieved a high level of competence in your field, then so can you. All you have to do is to do the same things, over and over until sooner or later you get the same results that they have. There is no limit to what you can accomplish if you know the direction in which you are going and you are willing to make the effort to become excellent at what you do.
iv. The inner game of self-confidence
Most of what a person experiences in his/her outer life corresponds exactly to something that is going on in their inner life, something that you seldom know, and it cannot be otherwise. As Roger Staubach once said “that confidence doesn’t come out of nowhere.” It’s a result of something, hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication. Confidence enables you to face changes and difficulties and unexpected setbacks with calmness and clarity, and allows you to respond more effectively under any circumstances. You behave on the outside based on your belief on the inside, you see the world around you based on your beliefs about reality regardless of whether they are correct. So, when you truly believe yourself to be an exceptional human being possessed of remarkable capabilities, you will walk and talk and act that way, and your inner conviction will become your outer reality.
Make it a game to look for the good in every situation. When you develop an attitude of positive self-expectancy, you become a more optimistic and cheerful person. Whatever happens, you immediately interpret it in the best way possible. If you are looking into every difficult situation for the lesson, you can learn or for possible opportunities it might contain, your mind will remain positive and you will continue to function at your best. Every positive, constructive action that you take in the direction of your dreams and goals will reinforce your belief in yourself and in your ability to accomplish your ideals. Keep your vision clear before you and take continuous positive action, every hour and every day. Develop a sense of urgency, move quickly when opportunity presents itself, maintain a bias for action. When you engage in continuous action, not only will you feel terrific about yourself but your ability to do whatever you want to do will grow by leaps and bounds. You will eventually become unstoppable.
v. Using our strength for our advantages
Self-confidence goes hand-in-hand with winning, with self-esteem, with success and happiness in everything you do. The more things you are likely to achieve, the more self-confidence you have, the less you will be affected by temporary setbacks and disappointments. The starting point of self-confidence is for you to recognize that you have tremendous strengths of ability and character that you can bring to bear to accomplish almost anything you want. If integrity means being honest with yourself then courage means having the strength of mind to follow where your heart leads you. Courage means having the ability to push aside all other considerations in order to remain true to the very best that is you. With courage, your whole world opens up before you. Your self-confidence increases until you reach the point at which there are no longer any limitations on what you will attempt and what you will commit yourself to.
To follow your heart, you don’t necessarily need to make dramatic changes in your life or in your relationships. What you do need to do is to see yourself honestly, as you really are and have the courage to channel your energies and focus your strengths into your areas of greatest potential. To develop and maintain high levels of self-confidence and the success and happiness that go with it, you must consciously choose to dwell on your strengths all the time. The key to becoming a fully functioning, fully integrated personality, the basic factors underlying self-confidence is for you to become more aware of who you really are and what you really want in life. As a result of looking inward, you will discover opportunities for great breakthroughs in your life that you may never have seen before. You begin with the process of self-disclosure. As you become more knowledgeable about your strengths, you will become more self-accepting of whom you really are. As your level of self-acceptance increases and you begin to respect yourself for your unique talents and abilities, your level of self-esteem and self-confidence will go up as well. When you minimize or downplay your weaknesses and simultaneously identify and maximize your strengths, you will become a peak performer in everything you decide to do.
vi. Winning over challenge and adversities
With greater self-confidence, you could deal more effectively with the inevitable problems and difficulties that arise in day-to-day life. You would think continually in terms of solutions, and how you could turn any situation to your best advantage. As Bruce Barton once said that” Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.” True self-confidence comes from positive knowing rather than positive thinking. Your goal should be to develop the kind of unshakable self-confidence that makes you an unstoppable force of nature. Your job is to take every step possible to make yourself so positive that you become irresistible and able to accomplish any goal that you set your mind to. One of the most important things you need is an absolute faith in your ability to overcome any adversity that the world can throw at you. In reality, your persistence is your measure of your belief in yourself and your ability to succeed. If you absolutely believe, without questioning, that if you persevere long enough and hard enough you will ultimately win, then nothing will stop you. When you build within yourself this absolute assurance, virtually anything becomes possible for you, your self-confidence goes through the roof. If you choose deliberately to respond in a positive and constructive way, to keep your mind calm and cool and deal effectively with the inevitable problem, you learn and grow and become stronger. Your self-confidence goes up, your belief in your ability to achieve your goal increases. Your self-esteem rises. We develop a better self-image and we become more self-assured, confident and optimistic. The starting point of triumphing over adversity is to overcome the fear of failure, to the point at which you are willing to proceed your body in the direction of your dreams. Whatever your emotions, fear or desire, they control your decision and everything you do. If you change the quality of thinking you change the quality of your life. Become intensely solution oriented rather than problem oriented. Think about what can be done immediately to resolve the difficulty, look for the valuable lesson you can learn from this situation, think how you can minimize the damages and maximize any opportunities that might arise out of this setback. The only real antidote to worry and negativity is positive, purposeful, constructive action in the direction of your goals. You win by thinking about winning all the time and refusing to consider the possibility of losing. You win by resolving to persist, no matter what the odds, no matter what happens, until you succeed. You believe in yourself and it serves as a deep foundation of confidence on which you build a great life. You become more positive, more optimistic, and more unstoppable in everything you do.
vii. Making self-confidence your routine
The major obstacles to success always lie within the mind of the individual. As soon as you win the inner battle, the outer battle seems to take care of itself. If you have the desire to change, the decisiveness to take action, the determination to persist on your forward track, and the discipline to make yourself do whatever you need to do, your self-confidence and your success are inevitable. It is only when you have a firm conviction or belief in your abilities, based on experience, that you really know that your self-confidence is not an act. Smart people take the actions necessary to get the result they want; they are effective in whatever situation they find themselves in. Intelligence is more a matter of doing the right things rather than doing things right. Whenever you do something that moves you toward achieving a goal that is important to you, you are behaving intelligently, you are smart. However, whenever you engage in behaviour that moves you away from one of your own goals you are behaving stupidly. So that your actions shape your character. The more you engage in winning behaviours, the more consistently you act and feel like a winner, the higher will be your self-confidence and the greater will be your belief in yourself and in your goals. One of the most intelligent things that you can do is to get better at the most important things you do to get the result that determines your success.
Every time you resolve to go the extra mile, to do more than you are paid for, to put in more than you take out, to go beyond what is expected of you in your job and in your relationships with others, you feel terrific about yourself. You feel more like a winner, your level of self-confidence increases and you feel motivated to contribute even more of yourself to what you are doing. When you keep your thoughts and your actions consistent with your highest aspirations and your most valuable goals, you are progressively building the unshakable kind of self-confidence that enables you to accomplish almost anything. Your self-confidence is strongly affected by your self-image. Your self-image on the other hand is largely determined by the way you think that other people see you. When you work hard on yourself and take the time to produce an image that you know is attractive to other people, you feel wonderful about yourself and your self-confidence goes straight up. Resolve today to act as if you have all the self-confidence in the world. Say what you think, ask for what you want, and persist until you succeed. Create a clear mental picture of yourself performing at your best, calm, confident, and optimistic and replay this picture over and over throughout the day. Accept 100% responsibility for everything you are today, and for everything you become in the future. Refuse to blame anyone for anything. Resolve today that you will never give up, that you will persist over all obstacles until you succeed in creating the wonderful life that is possible for you.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
By embracing the ideas and practical techniques in this book will give me a sense of power, purpose and self-confidence that will make me become unstoppable, irresistible and unafraid in every area of my life. They will enable me to be more positive, more focused and capable of achieving any goal so that I can completely change my life and impact my society.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
“The law of cause and effect says that” every effect in our lives, there is a specific cause or causes.”
If there is an effect in our life that we want more of, like more money or greater success, we can trace it back to the cause, and by repeating the cause, we can enjoy more of the effects. We live in a world, and a universe governed by the law not by chance. Everything happens for a reason. If we want to enjoy the effect of high self-confidence, we need only engage in the cause of high self-confidence.
“The law of concentration says that “anything you dwell upon grows in reality.”
Anything that you think about long enough and hard enough eventually becomes a part of your mental processes, exerting its influence and power on your attitude and your behaviour. The more you dwell on the person you would like to be, with the qualities you would like to have, the more you implant those deep into your subconscious mind, where they become part of your ongoing evolution. The more you dwell on any goal or subject, the more of your mental capacities are dedicated to making that goal or subject a reality.
“Almost everything we get in life involving people and emotional experiences comes to us more indirectly rather than directly, they come to us as a result of doing something else.”
If we pursue happiness directly, it eludes us. However, if we get busy doing something that is really important to us and begin to make real progress in the direction of our dreams and aspirations, we find ourselves feeling very happy indeed. We achieve higher levels of self-confidence not by wishing for it, but by setting and achieving ever-higher goals and objectives.
“You are not what you think you are, but what you think you are.”
As you systematically and deliberately change your thinking about yourself, your outer reality changes to conform with it. Your thoughts create your life, including and especially your thoughts with regard to your feelings of self-confidence. If you sow positive, optimistic, uplifting thoughts in your mind, you will reap positive, optimistic, uplifting and experiences in your life. It cannot be otherwise. Your life is what your thoughts make it, your thoughts are the most powerful forces in your universe. They are both creative and causative, every minute of every day, they are forming the world around you.
“The law of correspondence says that “your outer world tends to correspond to your inner world.”
Your outer world of health, wealth, and relationships will be a reflection of the way you think about each of the subjects. Thoughts in mind produce after their kind, your thoughts and goals are like seeds, and your mind is like fertile soil. Whatever seeds, positive or negative, clear or unclear you are planting into your mind will grow in your reality.
“The law of substitution says that “your conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time, positive or negative.”
Whatever thought is held continuously in your conscious mind will eventually be accepted by your subconscious mind as an instruction or command. Your subconscious mind, in harmony with these other mental laws, will go to work 24 hours per day to bring your dominant thoughts or ideas into reality. Your subconscious mind is inordinately powerful, it is the repository for all. Your emotions, beliefs, values, attitudes and feelings. All your thoughts and feelings throughout life are stored in your subconscious mind.
“The law of emotion says that “every decision that you make, every thought you think, every action you take, is based on an emotion of some kind.”
The more powerful the emotion, the more effect it has on your thinking and actions, the more rapid the change in your experience. If the emotion is strong enough, the change can be instantaneous.
If the greatest enemy of self-confidence is fear, then the greatest enemy of human achievement is the comfort zone.
Each of us has a natural tendency to slip into a zone of performance and behaviour where we are comfortable, one that is easy and unchallenging and then to stop there. The natural tendency, once a person gets into a comfort zone, is to resist change of any kind, even beneficial change. It is only in the areas of challenge and risk that you force yourself just beyond what is comfortable and easy for you, that the possibility of success awaits.
“The law of accumulation says that “life is very much like a balance sheet, with both credit and debits.”
Every time you do something positive to enhance your abilities and to improve your life, you get a credit on the credit side of your ledger. Each time you waste your time or neglect to take advantage of an opportunity to learn and grow, you get a debit on the debit side of your ledger. Everything is either moving you toward a better life, or moving you away from it. Everything counts! The only things that count are your actions, it seems that every positive and constructive action you engage in adds up and increases your levels of self-confidence and self-esteem.
“The law of incremental improvement says that “a person becomes good at his or her chosen field by improving incrementally, continuously, over a long period of time.”
Everything positive you do in your life compounds and multiplies, growing with force and power over the months and years. Einstein once said that “compounding is the most powerful force in the universe.”
“To enjoy high levels of self-confidence, you must be able to make up your own mind and free yourself from any influences that cause you to feel negative or unhappy for any reason.”
You must take full control over your thinking and over your suggestive environment, making sure that what you are allowing into your mind is consistent with the things you want and the person you want to be. And you must work to keep out all other influences.
“When something negative or unexpected happens to you, immediately seize the moment as an opportunity to demonstrate calmness and self-control.”
Make it a game, instead of allowing yourself to feel negative, deliberately force yourself to substitute something positive. Take a deep breath, relax, smile and say “every situation is a positive situation if viewed as an opportunity for growth and self-mastery.” Then look within the situation for something that you can learn that will help you to grow and develop great self-mastery.
“It is not what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you that counts.”
It is not the card that you are dealt, but the way you play the cards that determines how well you do in the game of life. Your job is consciously decided to use your willpower to keep your mind clear and to keep yourself positive and functioning at your best.
“Never complain, never explain.”
No one makes you do anything or feel anything, you are where you are and what you are because you have decided to be there. Everything that you are or ever will be is entirely up to you. If there is any effect in your life that you’re not happy about, it is solely up to you to change the causes. You are completely responsible.
“All improvement in your life begins with an improvement in your mental pictures.”
If you want to wear beautiful clothes, you should purchase and read magazines filled with pictures of models wearing the kind of clothes you desire. Visit clothing stores of the very best quality and try on clothes that you eventually want to own. Flood your mind with pictures and sensations of reality that you desire to experience. The key to activating your mental power through affirmation and visualization is for you to also imagine exactly how you would feel if you had already achieved your goal.
“Having integrity means that you will not compromise on what you believe to be right in any area.”
It means, more than anything, looking at yourself honestly and making your decisions based on the fact that you are an extraordinary human being. Your feelings are very valuable clues to your choices and behaviour. Your peace of mind and personal satisfaction is perhaps the most accurate guide you will ever have to doing what is right for you.
“Fear of failure is the greatest single obstacle to success and happiness in adult life.”
It can be unlearned thereby freeing you from the fears that hold you back and giving you the self-confidence that propels you forward. The starting point of eliminating this fear is for you to accept and realize that no success is possible without failure. All successes are preceded by failure, usually great failures, repeated over a long period of time. Don’t be afraid to fail, don’t waste energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. As once Stanley Judd said that “it’s ok to fail if you are not failing you are not growing.” And Thomas J. Watson completed that “do you want to be successful? Then, double your rate of failure. Success lies on the far side of failure.”
“Prior to every event of importance, mental rehearse and see yourself performing at your best in the upcoming situation. Recall and relive a previous excellent performance. Before falling asleep, think about the things you did right during the day and the things you are going to do better in the days to come. Soak your mind in positive images of you at your personal best, what you see is what you get.”
Whenever something happens that throws you off balance, stabilize yourself by thinking about your goals. Because you can think only one thought at a time. And if you think about your goals, your mind will instantly become positive again. Make a game of rising above the petty frustrations of people and traffic and unexpected setbacks, say to yourself “what can’t be cured must be endured” get back to thinking about your goals and about what you can do, right now to move toward them.
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
No, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
Yes, the book contains fruitful practical exercises.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10
Full Steam Ahead
Assessment by Nkaka Victor (Rwanda)
1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The authors in this book show how you can shape your life by creating a meaningful purpose, picture of a compelling future, and clarify your values. They also reveal how inspiring vision is in leadership competency. It’s also the most difficult practice to learn and apply.
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideals followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.
i. What is Vision?
The biggest impediment to managers becoming great leaders is the lack of clear vision, knowing who you are, where you are going and what will guide your journey. Lack of a clear vision is a problem because vision is the starting point of all leadership. After all, leadership is about going somewhere. If leaders are not working toward a shared vision, their leadership can become self-serving and ultimately fail. A purpose explains who you are and why you exist, but it doesn’t explain where you’re going. Purpose is your organization’s reason for existence, it answers the question “why” rather than just explaining what you do, it clarifies from your customer’s view point what business you are really in. a clear vision has to talk about going somewhere, the power of a picture works when you focus on what you want to create, not what you want to get rid of. We need to be proactive not reactive. We have to focus on the end result, not the process for getting there. Value is deeply held reliefs that certain qualities are desirable. They define what is right or fundamentally important to each of us. They provide guidance for our choices and actions. Values answer the question “how” will you behave on a day-by-day basis as you fulfill your purpose and move toward your picture of the future. Values are most effective when they are rank ordered, so that when value conflicts arise, people know which value they should focus on. Values provide broad guidelines on how you should proceed as you pursue your purpose and picture of the future; they answer the question “what do I want to live by” and “how?” They need to be consistently acted on, or they are only “good intentions.” Values are not just soft “nice to have” they are vitally important because they guide people’s behavior and decision on a daily basis as they pursue the what and where. Values serve as the driving force behind purpose and picture of future, value supplies the energy and excitement that help people remain committed when the going gets tough. Personal values don’t need to be exactly the same as those of your place of work, but they do need to be aligned in order for you to experience personal fulfillment.
ii. Vision defined.
Vision is enduring, it continues to provide guidance as goals are achieved. A vision offers clear direction for future activity and guides the setting of new goals once the current ones have been achieved. Without a vision once the goal has been achieved, it’s all over. Vision is knowing where you are, where you are going, and what will guide your journey, knowing who you are means being clear about your purpose, where you are going is the picture of the future, and what will guide your journey is your values. If you don’t know who you are, it really doesn’t matter where you are going and if you are going somewhere you need to be clear about the values that will guide your journey to help you make the tough decisions when you hit obstacles. Your values allow you to shift course in a way that keeps you in sight of your true destination. We really have a choice, that good leadership and how we are in the world starts on the inside. We have two choices; whose are we going to be? And whose are we going to be? If you can answer these questions and then can create some picture in your mind of what it looks like when you are acting from that knowledge, you will be available to the joys and richness of living your life fully, moving full steam ahead. We need a significant purpose, a picture of where we are going, and clear values. It gives meaning to our lives and provides direction, it helps us get focused, get energized, and get great results.
iii. You can’t get there unless you’re here.
Sometimes it’s painful to look at the truth, it’s easier to hold on to our illusions of the way we want things to be. A good look in the mirror can be quite a shock. An important part of having a vision is to be honest about the current reality, an honest and accurate assessment of the present is as important as a vision of the future. So, you can’t get the future without being present, without an honest and accurate assessment of our current situation we would never be able to fully achieve our vision. That’s what happens when you focus on the future without also looking at the present. These views are important; clear vision for the future and an honest realistic view of the present. Doing both focusing on your vision and being honest about the truth of your present situation is what allows you to move full steam ahead. So, learn from the past, plan for the future, and live in the present. Live your vision now, if you are clear about your vision, and if you are honest about your present realities, you don’t have to figure everything out. Things start happening of their own accord.
iv. From Vision to Reality.
Vision is a lot more than putting a plaque on the wall, a real vision is lived not framed. So how do you turn a vision into reality? Apparently writing one down and telling people about it are not enough. You need to look at who should be involved in shaping the vision, and you have to be open to their thoughts, dreams, hopes and needs. You have to be willing to allow others to help shape it. How the vision is created is as important as what it says and how it’s communicated is important. Even people aren’t involved in shaping the vision, they need to understand how it relates to their situations and what it means to live it. when you allow others to be involved in shaping the vision, they bring a wider range of perspectives that enrich the vision, The different perspectives add depth. So, that you learn from each other and develop more respect and appreciation for each in the process. Encourage people to live with the creative tension as they continue to take an honest look at their present realities and discuss their hopes and dreams for the future. The more you focus on the vision, the clearer it becomes and the more deeply you understand it. Once you identify your vision, you have to start living it immediately and behaving consistently with the intention of that vision. We cannot achieve our vision unless we help ourselves and each other act on our good intentions by setting up processes and systems that align with the vision and help us stay on track.
v. Staying the course.
As a leader your people need to believe you are serious about the vision. If you’ve ignored some long-standing problems in the company, you might need to start by acknowledging the truth of the current realities, and maybe even take some action toward resolution before expecting people to trust your leadership enough to genuinely embark on the process of creating a shared vision. When unforeseen events throw us off the course, we shouldn’t try to get back on course. Instead, we should change our course yet keep our focus on our vision. Goals are the milestones that mark your progress toward your vision. So, if you find yourself off course then it’s important to reset goals that are in line with your vision. If you can stay focused on your vision, you can reset your course. You might not be exactly on course, but you can stay the course. When you hold both your vision and the truth of your current reality, creative tension is generated. When you are willing to live with that tension without giving up on your vision, ultimately a shift occurs in favor of your vision. Keep the vision in mind whenever setting goals or doing strategic planning, stay focused on the vision change is inevitable, be prepared to reset goals if you find you are off course and take action. Once you have identified your vision, it is important to act consistently with it. it might be necessary to make small steps as you put plans and structures in place, but it’s not possible to have it all planned out before you begin. Focus on how to create alignment and move your vision to reality. When unforeseen events throw you off course, keep your vision alive. Act consistently with your vision in all ways great and small.
vi. How to create your own vision.
On this planet, we are all part of one community; we all need to assume responsibility for creating a shared vision. If your vision is only about yourself and getting what you want, you are too narrowly focused. Ultimately you may be successful in achieving your goals, but true satisfaction comes from having a significant impact and making a contribution. The vision must benefit everyone it touches. Because the images we hold have the potential to manifest, we have a responsibility to take them seriously and to consider the larger community that is touched by our vision. Our vision must be to make the world a better place by having been there.
Vision is knowing who you are, where you are going and what will guide your journey. Knowing who you are means being clear about your purpose, where you are going is your picture of the future, what will guide your journey are your values. There are two equally important aspects in creating a compelling vision, content and process. Content describes what the vision says, process describes how to create, communicate, and live a vision. In reality, creating a vision is not a linear process. As you clarify each of the elements of your vision, it is important to keep in mind the guiding principles of three how’s; equally important to what your vision says is how it’s created, how it’s communicated, and how it’s lived.
vii. Vision plan.
The vision is planned in various steps. Step I is to create a shared vision first, you should have individual and then group reflect and agree on the fundamentals for each of the three key elements of compelling vision. Agree on what is essential, but do not finalize the wording at this point as it is important to be open to feedback from others outside the group. Step II is to be honest with your current reality, you have to examine your current realities in relation to your vision, identifying the strengths and weaknesses of your group in relation to your ability to achieve your vision. You have also to develop plans for collecting additional information or verifying current perceptions. Understanding the importance of the creative tension generated by holding and being honest about the present. Step III is to develop strategies to move forward, you have to identify the greatest opportunities to leapfrog forward, identify what supporting structures are needed. And develop bridging strategies to guide your movement forward, also identify and if possible, make decisions on “low-hanging fruit” obvious problems that can easily be resolved without large repercussions. This demonstrates commitment to action. Step IV is to plan for involvement and communication, you have to develop a plan to communicate the result of this meeting and involve the rest of your department or organization in shaping the vision. Identify roadblocks and develop specific plans for action, including ongoing communications. If it is not possible together with everyone at the same time, other processes can be used. Such as holding a series of cross-company meetings. Whatever process is used to communicate the vision, the communication channels should remain open by engaging in a two-way process where the results of the discussion flow back to the senior leaders, who I turn then communicate their responses. Step V is to make personal commitment, you have to make individual personal commitments to specific goals and actions that demonstrate they are living and modeling the vision right now, even as they continue developing the vision.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a particular way both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
The ideas in this book will help me to live a meaningful life completely. By integrating these ideas into my daily life will make me feel happier, healthier and more self-confident. Will also give me a sense of power, purpose and self-direction, they will enable me to be more positive, more focused and more able to achieve my goals and fulfill my vision. They will teach me how to unlock the great untapped reserves of potential that lie deep within me and they will also propel my whole life onto a high road of success, achievement and great happiness.
4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got you attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
Whole book’s ideas were so interesting, but here are some highlighted most touched:
“There is nothing wrong with average lives and average accomplishment, most of the good of the world builds on the accumulated effort of everyday people. But a life should strive for greatness. We do not have to set the limit in our ability or to accomplishment, the best way of all is to push ourselves to the limit. Make it a vow, from the good to great.”
“Full steam ahead means fully powered and moving ahead full force.”
It means being so clear about your purpose so committed to it, and so sure about your ability to accomplish it that you move ahead decisively despite any obstacle.
“There is a lot of power in values. Values tap into people’s feelings; people cherish their value and are deeply emotional about them when they act in support of their values. Values supply the energy and excitement that help people remain committed when the going gets tough. Your values allow you to shift course in a way that keeps you in sight of your true destination.”
“Who are we going to be? Who you are means what is your purpose? Why are you here? It’s really important that we think about why we are here and what we are trying to do. If you don’t have a clear purpose, then you can be jerked around and taken in all kinds of directions because you don’t really know why you’re here.”
“Vision without being present is like having your head in the clouds. Holding the present without vision is like being stuck in the mud.”
You have to maintain your focus on your vision and at the same time without blaming yourself or anyone else, be honest about the truth of your present reality. The disastrous result is an example of focusing on the vision without looking at the present at the same time.
“Your personal values reflect what you care most deeply about.”
We all have values whether we’ve spent time putting them into words or not. to find out what you value, ask yourself questions such as “what do I care deeply about? What are we willing to put ourselves on the line for? By being conscious about these core values, we can be intentional about the choices we make in our lives.
“A technique that might help you identify your values is called the three whys.”
“Identify what you think is valuable and ask yourself why do I value that? If I had that, then what would I have?” Whatever the answer is, ask the question again. Do it three times. It will take you deeper to what’s more important to you and as you go deeper to what’s most important to you, and as you go deeper, you will feel a stronger sense of caring. The more deeply you care, it means you’re closer to your core values. The 3 whys (what do I really value and why? When I get down to the core what really matters most to me and why? What’s absolutely essential to who I am? What do I stand for?”
“To model love, I am the soul of this company. It’s through me that our organization’s values pass. When you shift from a self-oriented perspective, it changes the way you think about leadership. From this viewpoint, leadership is about serving the great good. There is no room for ego-driven leadership. There are some important roles for leaders, one of your jobs is to remind people about what’s really important. Another is to help them stay focused on the vision. Another is to remove obstacles whenever possible. And another is to encourage them to act and cheer them on.”
“It’s in the richness of the journey where you find life’s beauty. The journey is as important as the destination. The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step you are taking right now, that is all there ever is. So it’s important to keep your attention and the present and to be sure that you are acting consistently with your vision, right now, each moment.”
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and if so, why?
No, all are clear and understandable.
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
The book doesn’t contain exercises, simply some commitments.
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on what was not covered in the previous question? If so, please comment.
No further comment.
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10