Kennedy John Offor – Assessments

As a Man Thinketh
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book tried to demonstrate that we are the author of our circumstances by the things we choose to do or not do. The author tried to drive this message home by making various assertions and quotes which is left for one to practise and prove. Every invention is a product of thought. Before anything can exist physically, it must first exist as a thought or idea in the mind. When that idea is nurtured for long and given expression through action, it manifests in the physical. My personal experiences have proven this to me. This is a negative experience. It was because of my belief (thought) that it is difficult to write a book that made me to abandon the one I was writing when the work was about 10% completed. I had gathered all the references needed and had drafted the outline (chapters and sections) but I kept on postponing it until I finally stopped. Now that I have read this a want to go back, I discovered that my entire outline that took me about six months to come up with had been mistakenly deleted from my computer. All effort to recover it failed. But now I believe that I can write it and have started work on it. It was difficult for me to convince myself to start all over again. This time I know for sure that “As I think, so shall it be”.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. I can choose what to become
It has always been my desire to impact on people’s life and acquire fame but I have always thought that fame constitutes in people coming to know me. I have waited for opportunities to achieve this not knowing that the opportunity is within me. With this knowledge, I have changed my thought to attract that which I want. My destiny is in my hands

ii. I am in charge of my environment/circumstance
The idea that I determine what my circumstances will be makes me to reflect on various occasions I had wished that one thing or the other never happens. It is obvious to me now that I caused what happened in those circumstances. I could have chosen otherwise. I was fund of blaming my superiors in the office for not giving me the opportunity to contribute. With the knowledge that I can chose what happens around me, I will strive to make a difference in the office.

iii. Perseverance:
Victories attained by right thought can only be maintained by watchfulness. In the face of failures, it is only perseverance that will see one through. And when success is attained, it is perseverance that will ensure the sustenance of the success. Many give way when success is assured, and rapidly fall back into failure. I recall missing an opportunity for employment because I fail to follow up the initial contact I made. When I came back after a long time, I was told that another person had taken my place.

iv. Doubt and fear are twin brothers of failure:
Before now, I have been afraid of making certain moves. Specifically, I have doubted my ability to write well. I have also wanted to always get it right not knowing that perfection comes with practise. I have been afraid of making mistakes but now I have resolved to launch out.

v. No man can help me but myself:
This is a truism. I have come to realise that the key to my personal progress both spiritual and material are in my hands. As the saying goes that you can force a horse to the river but you can’t force it to drink water, so also no one can make or unmake me without my consent. Before my marriage I believed that living with a woman who is prayerful will make me become more prayerful. But now that I am married and living with such a person, I am still as prayerful (even less) than I was before. She cannot help me unless I allow that.

vi. To dream is to live and achieve:
Without dreams and aspirations life is meaningless and directionless. Everyman must have dreams. A man without dream will accept whatever comes his ways. It is not just having dreams but being obsessed with the dream that propels one to succeed.

vii. To be responsible and a good leader, I must have self control:
I have come to realise that the major cause of my failure is not having enough dreams but the will power to pursue it. This will power will come from self control. I must be able to control myself in all situations. This is the key to achieving my goals in life.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas will help me to consciously choose what I feed my mind thereby achieving the following:

Knowing that “I am not the creature of circumstances”, but rather “the creator of circumstances”, I will conscientiously create the best circumstances I want in my marriage and business. I will stop complaining of my circumstances but recreate them. Realising that the secret to creating a desired circumstance lies in my ability to persevere in what I have set out to do, I will strive to discipline myself by constant practise.

With the understanding that man is not born perfect but strives towards perfection, I will not hesitate to start the business of my dream. I will venture into youth empowerment without fear of failure. Because I have come to believe that I have the capacity within me to realise my dreams, I will make conscious, sustained and directed effort to achieve the object of my desire.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armoury of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace.”

– The above statements assure me that I have the capacity to make or mar myself. The power of life and death are in my hands.

“Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself”

– I will not have to blame my circumstance but rather create it the way I want it to be, knowing that whatever happens to me is what I have sanctioned.

“Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.”

– Wishes alone will not take me to where I want to be, purposeful and thoughtful action will.

“Not what he wishes and prays for does a man get, but what he justly earns.”

– To every action there is equal and opposite reaction. I will always get what I work for, no more, no less

“Thought and action are the jailer of Fate–they imprison, being base; they are also the angels of Freedom–they liberate, being noble.” “Act is the blossom of thought, and joy and suffering are its fruits; thus does a man garner in the sweet and bitter fruitage of his own husbandry.”

– What I always feed my mind in thought will always manifest through my actions. This duo, thought and action, will be my making or unmaking. It is up to me to choose the right thought that will give birth to the desired action and subsequently lead me to where I want to be

“The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set.”

– Perseverance and long-suffering is the key to achieving my dreams

“Your circumstances may be uncongenial, but they shall not long remain so if you but perceive an Ideal and strive to reach it.”

– I cannot come out of any unpleasant circumstance unless I purposefully aim for a goal. The ship that is not intentionally piloted to a route will be tossed around the sea by different tempest.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

“Every man is where he is by the law of his being; the thoughts which he has built into his character have brought him there, and in the arrangement of his life there is no element of chance, but all is the result of a law which cannot err.”

In as much as the above statement is true in certain respects, it is not always true. One cannot always determine where he/she will be. Consider the typical example of natural hazards like earthquakes and land slides and even suicide bombings. Will it be said that those who died in the September 11 bombing of the world trade centre were responsible for their death? That is certainly a chance occurrence, for if they had not been there, they may not have died.

I don’t seem to understand what the statements below is trying to portray. What is actually suffering?

“Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the Law of his being. The sole and supreme use of suffering is to purify, to burn out all that is useless and impure.”

“The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.”

I do not completely agree with the above statement. It is possible for one to be unknowingly infected through eating contaminated food or inhaling foul air. Thought alone cannot remove the effect of reactions. Remember, “To every action there is opposite and equal reaction”.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book did not contain a specific exercise but the entire content is food for thought. It is filled with statements whose values can be realised by living them out. Notable among them are the following: “…… and man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul; and that he is the maker of his character, the moulder of his life, and the builder of his destiny, he may unerringly prove, if he will watch, control, and alter his thoughts, tracing their effects upon himself, upon others, and upon his life and circumstances, linking cause and effect by patient practice and investigation, and utilizing his every experience, even to the most trivial, everyday occurrence, as a means of obtaining that knowledge of himself which is Understanding, Wisdom, Power.” The above statements are actually an indirect exercise for me to do. I tried to link my feelings and actions to the way I think and discovered that there are strong correlations between them. I have always believed that my feelings and acts of being inferior were as a result of my upbringing but when I performed the above exercise; I discovered that they were really the product of my thoughts and action. I have resolved to change my thought and action to overcome such inferiority complex by socializing more.

“The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong.” The above statement is an exercise that is ongoing. I have started doing it personally

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

“He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realise it.”

My experiences in life have proved that it is not enough to have a beautiful vision or a lofty ideal. I must cherish it before it can be realised. The keyword here is “cherish”. And cherishing is manifested in ones actions which must be consistent with the vision and ideal. “To desire is to obtain; to aspire is to, achieve. Shall man’s basest desires receive the fullest measure of gratification, and his purest aspirations starve for lack of sustenance? Such is not the Law” The above quote encourages me to remember that “whatever a man sow, that he will reap”. This is a law that can never be broken no matter how one tries. It therefore behoves me to plant the right fruit through my thoughts, knowing that “As a man thinketh”, so he is, and as he continues to think, so shall he continue to be. It is an immutable law which no creature can break.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 8
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

Jonathan Livingston Seagull
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The major idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is the fact that we are all born great with unlimited powers and freedom. The only limit to what we can do is what we believe and accept. It is therefore important for me to understand and apply this truth in my life. There will be times when people will try to discourage me saying that no one has done what I am about doing, but if I believe that I can do it then I should go ahead and give it a trial, and succeed, I must. To succeed in life, one must ignore the status quo and launch out against all doubt and fear of failure. In all, “cross comes before crown”.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. Striving to be perfect at the beginning is bad
Although perfectionism is good, it should not be a precondition before one venture into the unknown. Striving to get it right at the beginning is not a mark of achievers. There must be time for learning and gaining experience. I have had many lofty ideas but none have been realised all because I have been waiting for the “perfect” opportunity. An instance is my desire to start an re-orientation for youths in my community. After this, I will make a move by starting something no matter how imperfect it may be. It is my resolve to do this as soon as I complete my level three, at which point I believe to have acquired basic ideology and leadership skills.

ii. I must not listen to dream killers
In my quest for good interpersonal and leadership skills, I have met those who are called “dream killers”. They will tell you a thousand reasons why you should not do want you want to do. If I must succeed, I must not listen to them. But for these types of people, I would have opened a small scale cassava processing factory.

iii. I must have a purpose in life
Before I can achieve any meaningful progress, I must have a purpose in life. I find it difficult to concentrate my efforts. I dabble into so many things without a clear cut purpose, not knowing what to expect. Having a purpose is like deciding my destination. If I encounter obstacles on the way, I will find another route to the destination. But if I have no purpose and I encounter obstacle on the way, I will surely be derailed and settle for whatever I get.

iv. If I continue doing the same thing all the time, I will continue to get the same result.
To have a different result entails doing something new. I cannot say I want to overcome my procrastination habit and continue to do the same things over and over. To be a good leader entails being in control of oneself. I must look for better ways of doing something to get the desired result.

v. Every voice that discourages me in whatever I have set my heart to do will contain a solution to my difficulties.
A saying goes that every failure has in it the seed of its own success. I must be on the look out for dream killers. They will surely come with their discouraging words. I must find the solution to their objections in their own words.

vi. I should associate with people of like mind
No man is an island. It is true that no man can help another unless the one been helped is willing to be helped. It is equally true that “iron sharpeneth iron”. If I must get to my dreams, I must learn to associate with people that will guide and encourage me. I must have a mentor. The mentor could be a human being directly or it could be writings of great men who have achieved what I want to achieve.

vii. My belief could limit my achievements. I must believe to achieve.
As James Allen asserted and demonstrated in his book titled “as a man thinketh”, I realised in this book that my belief or thoughts could limit my achievements. I must believe to achieve. I believe that I can be a good leader. That is why I decided to undergo this leadership training. I believe that I can overcome my low self esteem and am working at it through associating with people that can help me.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Since I have set out to be an achiever, to be a renowned humanitarian and peace maker, to be a defender of the defenceless, the ideas I learnt in the book will assist me to realise these dreams. It will help me to venture into doing these things without much concern of getting it right at the beginning. I have learnt that I will make progress if I aim at achieving my dreams without allowing dream killers to discourage me from doing the little things that matter. I will have a plan and stick to it. Building gradually until I get there. Concentration of effort will be my next target.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“You don’t need me any longer. You need to keep finding yourself, a little more each day, that real, unlimited Fletcher Seagull. He’s your instructor. You need to understand him and to practice him.”

To be really perfect in whatever I’m doing, I will need a mentor who will guide me at the beginning, thereafter; I must understand that the greatest mentor is within me – my thought. The moment I begin to tap from the vast reserve of my thought through constant practice, I will excel.

“Poor Fletch. Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you’ll see the way to fly.”

Yes, the way to excel is to see what I already know, use it and then get what I want. What I already know is the fact that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. He has given me all I need in the gift of my thought. I must not allow what people say and what I see to snatch that gift from me.

“Why is it so hard to be like the rest of the flock, Jon? Why can’t you leave low flying to the pelicans, the albatross? Why don’t you eat? Son, you’re bone and feathers!” “I don’t mind being bone and feathers mom. I just want to know what I can do in the air and what I can’t, that’s all. I just want to know.”

Jonathan is determined to learn. He has a purpose and has set out to achieve it not minding what people say. For me to be successful, I must have a purpose in life and pursue it without been discouraged by what people say

“Don’t you forget that the reason you fly is to eat.”

Some people just “live to eat”. All they do is to enable them to eat, no more no less. I would rather eat to live. This will entail making contribution to the well being of humanity in any capacity I can.

“The subject was speed, and in a week’s practice he learned more about speed than the fastest gull alive.”

Definiteness of purpose is essential for success. I ought to set definite goals and follow it. If I do, success will be assured just as Jonathan succeeded.

“You must begin by knowing that you have already arrived… You didn’t need faith to fly, you needed to understand flying.”

I have to learn whatever I want to do. Wishful thought alone is not enough. To be a good speaker and leader, I must first believe that I can do it and then learn to understand what it entails. After understanding comes action and then results.

“At last you’ve got the idea,” Chiang said, “but your control needs a little work…”

Having acquired whatever training in life I may have set out to acquire, I must learn how to control myself. Failure to do so will result to my downfall

“Your whole body, from wingtip to wingtip,” Jonathan would say, other times, “is nothing more than your thought itself, in a form you can see. Break the chains of your thought, and you break the chains of your body, too…”

The only thing that is limiting or stopping me from accomplishing my desires is my thought. As soon as I change my thought, I will realize that I am free to achieve my goals. As long as I believe that something is difficult, so will it remain?

“Why is it,” Jonathan puzzled, “that the hardest thing in the world is to convince a bird that he is free, and that he can prove it for himself if he’d just spend a little time practicing? Why should that be so hard?”

It really baffles me how this very fact is not known to many intuitively. On further reflection I realized that it is as a result of the conditioning that we had from our childhood and environment. I wish I understood this “secret” that I am free to be whatever I want to be some years back; I would have made some remarkable contribution to the world. However, I am grateful for learning this now and have started practicing to prove it to myself and then lead others to do likewise.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

The book is filled with so many allegories. It took me about four readings to understand the basic message that the author was trying to pass to the reader. There are certainly some parts that I do not quite understand. They are the following:

The part of the book where Jonathan was condemned by the Council is unclear to me. I don’t seem to fully understand the message been passed there. I quote the beginning and last sentence “The gulls were flocked into the Council Gathering when he landed, and apparently had been so flocked for some time… ‘The Brotherhood is broken,’ the gulls intoned together, and with one accord they solemnly closed their ears and turned their backs upon him.”

What is the author referring to in the following statement that follows? “So this is heaven, he thought, and he had to smile at himself. It was hardly respectful to analyze heaven in the very moment that one flies up to enter it.”

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Personally, I did not see any exercise in the book. However, there are many assertions that will require one to practise in order to fully assimilate the contents. These statements indicate what one need to do in order to fully benefit from the book. It is an ongoing exercise in my life.

“You don’t need me any longer. You need to keep finding yourself, a little more each day, that real, unlimited Fletcher Seagull. He’s your instructor. You need to understand him and to practice him.” “Poor Fletch. Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you’ll see the way to fly.”

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

The book also taught me the following:
While striving for perfection, I must not limit myself by setting a limit to what I can do. I should realize that “any number is a limit, and perfection doesn’t have limits.”

To be perfect, I must give up certain things which I enjoy doing at the moment because “The gulls who scorn perfection for the sake of travel go nowhere, slowly. Those who put aside travel for the sake of perfection go anywhere, instantly.”

If I must get a different and required result, I must not continue doing the same thing over and over. I must experiment different ways realising that “Ten times he tried, and all ten times, as he passed through seventy miles per hour, he burst into a churning mass of feathers, out of control, crashing down into the water.” He was successful only when he thought and acted differently: “The key, he thought at last, dripping wet, must be to hold the wings still at high speeds – to flap up to fifty and then hold the wings still.” And then the successful story came in mere seconds: “In ten seconds he had blurred through ninety miles per hour. Jonathan had set a world speed record for seagulls!”

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 7
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

Psycho-cybernetics
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

Man has a machine which helps him achieve any thing in life. The degree of success is proportional to the degree of use. The degree of use is proportional to the degree of understanding of its laws or various functions. The degree of understanding is proportional to the type of thought that goes on in the mind. The degree of thought is governed by ones belief or self image. It therefore follows that to effectively use this automatic machine, which God has built into every individual in a unique way, one must consciously cultivate the habit of thinking pleasant thoughts. It is also worthy of note that this machine must be given a target or goal. Once the goal is given, the machine automatically steers its way to proffer solution. People fail in life because they don’t have purpose.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are summarised in the explanation which the author gave the word “success”. They are: Sense of direction, Understanding, Courage, Charity, Esteem, Self-Confidence, and Self-Acceptance.

i. Sense of Direction
It is said that those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Planning is a kind of providing direction. Before one can plan, he or she has a goal or direction. Planning will then point the way to the direction. Just as bicycle cannot remain at a place stable, so also I cannot remain stable at a place. I must keep moving. Moving must be in a predetermined direction. I have always desired to help the youth in my community and university but because I have no sense of direction, I have not recorded any meaningful, satisfactory result. I have been looking for the perfect opportunity to act. But this realisation that I have to set a goal and direction will enable me to do something.

ii. Understanding:
Before I will embark on any activity, it is important that I try to understand all necessary things. This will help me to better know the best route to follow towards achieving my goal. Lack of understanding has been the cause of my quarrels with my wife. This reminds me of a saying in a book “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” written by Stephen R. Covey, where he advises one to “seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Many mistakes will be avoided if one seeks first to understand. Also much heartache which I have endured with my wife would not have arisen if I had sought to understand her and vise-versa

iii. Charity:
It is more blessed to give than to receive. Blessed is the hand that giveth. Therefore this three remain faith hope and charity and the greatest is charity 1 Cor. 13:13. The above quotations are given to support the fact that charity is needed in life. A leader must be charitable to the people he is leading. He should be willing to go the extra mile. When you give freely without expecting any reward, you must be rewarded one way or the other. Just few months ago, I was called to deliver a lecture on the use of PowerPoint to a professional body I belong to. I prepared for the training and delivered it without asking for anything. I just did it to help my colleagues. After the lecture, the participants were very happy and thanked me. A few months later one of the participants called me to tutor him more on the use of computer and I made a little money. Not only that, it was as result of that that I realised the value of what I have. I was taking my knowledge in computer for granted without knowing that there are people that I can use to convert it to money. That experience has made me to start looking for ways of marketing my knowledge. The more one gives, the more he receives is a true maxim.

iv. Courage:
Courage was defined as a form of applied faith. It is through courage that faith is manifested. One must have the courage to act despite the seeming impossibilities or failures. Without courage, it is impossible to achieve anything worthwhile.

v. Esteem:
It is a known fact that no other person can value me at my true worth unless I express it. People will see and accept/reject me based on how I esteem myself. If I have low self-esteem, I will be so taken by others. Self esteem is actually another word for self image. I estimate my self in proportion to how high or low my self image is. If I think I am not worthy of a certain level of importance, I will have a low self esteem in that regard.

vi. Self Confidence:
Self confidence is a product of how successful one has been in the past. Someone that have had repeated failure in the past will be more inclined to lack self confidence. He/she will be afraid to fail and that will inevitably lead to further failure and diminishing self confidence. The cure to this is for one to remember the past success and then build on them. Remember that whatever the mind of man can
conceive and believe, it will achieve it. But once one lacks the belief (self confidence) that he will succeed, it is almost certain he won’t.

vii. Self Acceptance:
Socrates’ said “man know thyself”. It is very important for one to know himself – what he can do and what he cannot do. With this knowledge, the next logical thing to do is for one to accept himself the way he is. This will give him/her the motivation to continue doing those things he can do with zeal and not be intimidated by others because of the things he cannot do.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

It is said that once a problem have been identified, the solution is 50% solved. Therefore, realising that my success is contained in the above ideas will help me to steer my thoughts and actions in the direction of attaining them. Knowing that I must have a goal (sense of direction), I will strive to complete levels 1 and 2 of the institute studies so as to be able to get to level 3 where I will be properly guided to brainstorm myself in order to define my goals in life. After I must have done that, I will try to understand and acquire all necessary information for the actualisation of the goals. Once I have set the goals and understood clearly what I want in life, I will act with faith (courage) towards acquiring them. Realising that charity is needed for the full realisation of all the good things of life; I will strive to be charitable to all in cash and kind.

Because I cannot succeed without self esteem, I will carry myself high, knowing that there can never me another “I”. I am unique in all ramifications and no body can take my place. Knowing that whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it will achieve, and that no one can help me but myself, I will have confidence in myself – dreaming lofty dreams and overcoming all obstacles to bring them to reality. And finally, remembering an Igbo adage that says “If you call your pot useless, your neighbour will use it to dispose refuse”, I will accept my limitations (self acceptance) and work on them without allowing them to becloud my sense of direction.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Remember that both behaviour and feeling spring from belief.”

– This reminds me of “As a man thinketh”. I am still encouraged the more that I have all it takes to change my negative feelings and behaviour only by changing my belief. With the daily practise of meditation and “role playing” I am gradually wearing a new self look. “Men are disturbed, not by things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen.”

– When my first son died few hours after birth, it seems to me that the world has come to an end. Remembering how my wife suffered in labour for good three days after which she was delivered through caesarean operation. Because of the belief I have that “all things works for good for those who love God” and that it is not what happens to me that matters but how I interpret it, I was able to carry myself through and also encouraged my wife to do the same.

“A bicycle maintains its poise and equilibrium only so long as it is going forward towards something. You have a good bicycle. Your trouble is you are trying to maintain your balance sitting still, with no place to go.”

– As long as I have something I am living for, I will always be stable. Having a goal is a form of motivation and drive to achieve. Several experiences in the past have made me to understand the reason behind my procrastination. “FAITH is not believing something in spite of the evidence. It is the COURAGE to do something regardless of the consequences. Prescription: Be willing to make a few mistakes, to suffer a little pain to get what you want. Don’t sell yourself short.”

I know deep within me that I have faith in God – faith that I will achieve all my dreams. But I have not acted. I have been waiting for the perfect opportunity to act. However, now I am encouraged to be willing to make a few mistakes and to suffer a little pain to get what I want. My faith is being challenged and I will do something regardless of the consequences. I will start the youth seminars which I have always longed to do. In fact, I will not wait till level three to start organising little talks for the youths in my community. When I get to level three I will do it better. By then I will have some experience.

“You” are not ruined or worthless because you made a mistake or got off course.”No man ever became great or good except through many and great mistakes,””

– I am encouraged by the above quote to find in all my mistakes or failures “a seed of greater or equivalent success. I will desist from labelling myself a failure because I failed in the past. Mistakes are part of experience which is essential for success.

“Also, get clearly in your mind the fact that the outside signal in itself has no power over you; no power to move you.”

– This has been helping me in controlling myself whenever my colleagues does something that seems irrational. I tell myself that I have the power to determine how to react.

“Remember, your nervous system cannot tell the difference between a real experience and one that is vividly imagined.”

With this knowledge, I have started controlling the thoughts that continuously occupy my mind knowing that if I imagine myself successful, I will attract success and vise versa.

“Philosophers have long told us, and now medical researchers confirm that resentment and hatred hurt us more than the person we direct them against”

– In the past, I have always been resentful to my wife whenever a little misunderstanding ensues between us. With above quote, I have learnt that I am hurting myself. In fact, it was after this knowledge that I really understood why I have always emaciated whenever we have a prolonged misunderstanding.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No, I personally agree with the author’s ideas. Although it took me about two readings to fully understand.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, the book contains a lot of exercises which I have been doing on a daily basis. I find the exercises very helpful and through them I am beginning to learn how to relax and meditate, to overcome my timidity such that whenever I feel timid before a “big person” I will imagine myself “big”. It has also helped me to hold a high image of myself and abilities. The exercises have also helped me to continuously see myself as a successful entrepreneur, youth leader, father, husband and calm. I am no longer influenced by my environment but rather I influence it.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

In addition to the above lessons, I also learnt how to free my creative machinery. It is very important that any body who is wont to worry learn and apply the five rules namely:

1. “Do your worrying before you place your bet, not after the wheel starts turning.”
2. Form the habit of consciously responding to the present moment.
3. Try to do only one thing at a time.
4. Sleep on it.
5. Relax while you work.

In fact, there are other quotations and ideas that a so valuable to me. I have compiled and printed them to carry about and read whenever I need.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the authors are trying to convey in the book is the fact that success in any sphere of life has some principles or laws which must be followed in order to achieve. These laws, according to them, are unbreakable. All those that have succeeded have either consciously or unconsciously applied these laws. Those that have failed have also consciously or unconsciously failed to apply these laws. They therefore advised any body that wants to attain any level of success in life to consciously follow these laws. They gave examples of how to apply the principles. The major principle being that “whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it will achieve”. That is, the prerequisite to any success is belief that success is attainable. This is what they call positive mental attitude. This is the major principle that must be applied in conjunction with the other principles for success to be assured.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas which were personally most important to me were:
a. I was born to be champion
b. Always write inspirations down
c. Problems are good for my success
d. Take the first step/do it now
e. Focus attention on the desired outcome
f. Aim High
g. The master mind group

a. I was born to be a champion
Often times one may not know the stuff he is made of because of negative mental attitude. But with this reaffirmation that I am born to be a champion, I will see myself excelling in life. I will never accept any form of defeat but will always act like a champion.

b. Always write inspirations down
It pays to remember inspirations and the best way to do that is to write them down when they come. It is common for people to have big dreams and fantasies about life but it is always difficult to make them realities. Sometimes the inspirations on how to realise ones dream comes like a flash and the person ignores it or believes he will remember it again. Writing them down will greatly assist and serve as a form of motivation to achieve them

c. Problems are good for my success:
This idea has greatly helped and will continue to help me. I now try to convert all problems to stepping stones and not stumbling blocks. So you have got a problem? That’s good! Why? Because repeated victories over your problems are the rungs in your ladder of success. That assures me that on the way to success I need some problems to move from one level to the other.

d. Take the first step/Do it now
The above idea will personally assist me to overcome the habit of procrastination. I have learnt the true meaning of the saying that “the journey of one thousand kilometres starts with a step”. Whenever I am faced with difficult situations or projects and I am afraid to act I will just take the first step. And whenever I have a task to accomplish and the urge to procrastinate, I trust my subconscious to flash the words: DO IT NOW! And I will immediately act. In fact this has started paying off.

e. Be focused on the desired outcome:
Keep your minds on the things you should and do want and off the things you shouldn’t and don’t want. When the mind is cluttered with many things especially good and bad, there is always 50/50 chance of one of them winning. Even the 50/50 chance is shifted towards the direction of greater focus. This idea will therefore help me to concentrate my attention on the things I want in life and forget about the things I don’t want. It is called being optimistic. This also affirms what Maxwell Maltz said in his book “Psycho-cybernetics” that the human mind or machine is teleological; meaning that it is always striving towards a goal whether good or bad. It is therefore pertinent that the mind be given only the desired focus to aim and achieve

f. Aim High:
Aiming high is the mark of great achievers. I am encouraged to always aim above my “visible” capabilities. That is, I should always plan and accept tasks that seems to be above me or un-achievable. This will help me to be challenged and even if I fail, I will achieve something greater. For instance, if I believe or think I can influence only the people in my community, I should aim at influencing the people in my entire country.

g. The Master Mind Group:
I have heard of this master mind group in “think and grow rich” but it did not make much sense to me then. I think I have come to understand and appreciate the importance of this principle. My success will greatly depend on the people I associate with. They will help me to achieve or not achieve my goals. Whether I like it or not, I will need people to achieve whatever I want to achieve in life because I can never be everywhere. It is therefore important that I consciously and intentionally choose those that will work with and for me.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world?

I have always taken the last sit in most occasions and often act as a failure in the past. But now, knowing that I am born a champion, I will strive for the top by setting high goals (Aiming High). I will also cease to see problems as failure but as stepping stones to success knowing that all great men are those that have great failures.

As I aim high, I will focus on the desired outcome thereby shunting all undesirable outcomes. This will lead my subconscious mind to seek for ways of bringing the objects of my focus to reality. With the principle of DO IT KNOW, I will strive to overcome procrastination. In fact, this has started paying off because for the fact that I was able to complete this assessment within two weeks is a sign. In the past, I would have waited until about two or three days before the dead line before starting or finishing it. Also I have started forming the habit of writing inspirations down as they occur to me. In the past, I have had good ideas or inspirations but because I don’t write them down, I forget them after a while. But by writing them down now, I will always remember by consulting my notes. Again, the idea of taking the first step will help me to achieve my high aims. When the task seems huge and insurmountable, I can always remember to take the first step.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

There are many statements that got my attention that if I were to write them, it will be another book. I will only mention a few of them namely:

“We are poor – not because of God. We are poor because father has never developed a desire to become rich. No one in our family has ever developed a desire to be anything else.”

– The above quote particularly got my attention because that is exactly the same situation I find myself. Sometimes I tend to believe that the reason for my continuous struggling for riches without success is as a result of some form of “ancestral course” or some forces. However, now I have come to realise that the reason is purely because I have not developed the burning desire for riches. I have only been “wishing” and wishes alone cannot bring riches. It is only a strong desire backed with action that brings riches.

“I hope you will never be satisfied. I hope you will constantly feel the urge to improve and perfect not only yourself, but the world
around you.”

– The above quote is particularly a challenge and motivation for me. I have taken it personally and it has been helping me. I no longer take things for granted now. Any negative thing that happens to me now is interpreted as a threat to my personal improvement and that of those around me. I am high dissatisfied with my level of income now as against what I earlier said and believed. I am also highly dissatisfied with what I am doing now – procrastination, timid, low self esteem. I am also highly dissatisfied with the type of education that is given to the youths in my country, the type of politics of tribalism and nepotism been played in my country, the level of poverty in my community that I have resolved to make not only myself and the world around me better but my entire country and the whole world. By the time I will be 45 years old, I will make a remarkable contribution to the world. I will help to change the mentality of my people from positive to negative. The ideas have started coming and I am putting them down waiting for level three to begin the full planning and
implementation.

“If ever there was a time America (Nigeria) needed a positive mental attitude, it is now – Marden”

– I am inspired with the above quote to strive to do what Marden did in America in my dear country Nigeria. And because Marden succeeded, I strongly believe that I WILL SUCCEED, so help me God.

“Emotions are not immediately subject to reason, but they are always immediately subject to action”

– I am inspired with the above quote to overcome any negative emotions in my life by doing “something”. The “something” or action should be opposite to the negative emotion. By so doing, I will induce the required emotion or feeling. For instance, when I feel angry, I will just walk around and play a soothing or my favourite music and sing or dance along.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No, this is honestly nothing that I observe to be unclear to me and I personally did not disagree with any idea.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book did not contain specific/direct exercise, however, most contents of the book calls for personal stock taking which I have taken, especially the passage on success quotient analysis. I took the analysis and scored about 236, which is in the range of average. I have taken note of the areas where I am lacking and have started working on them. It is my plan and desire that by the time I complete level three, I will score at least 290 – and I know and believe that it is possible.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

I will like to summarise by recalling the authors’ affirmation of the importance of prayer. In fact, the reading of the book has also reinforced my faith in God and the importance of prayer. When I combine it what one of the Author’s said in “Think and Grow Rich” I come to understand better what prayer is and is not. As a matter of fact it made me to understand what Christ meant when he said we should pray without doubting and that whatever we ask with faith, we will receive. I now approach God as a loving father in prayer and believe that I will receive all that I ask of him

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

Rating
A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

Giant Steps
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is that it is not enough to know how to awaken the giant within us but to live the life of a giant. He therefore presented the reader with the daily activities that should be lived and experienced in order to achieve the success that is needed in one’s life as a giant.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:

i. Questions are more important than mere affirmations
ii. How to use emotions as action signal
iii. Words have power
iv. Emotion is created by motion
v. The importance of associations and effect of mixed association
vi. Cardinal rules of relationship
vii. The three core beliefs needed to effect a lasting change

i. Questions are more important than mere affirmations
Merely affirming what I want to accomplish or my abilities is not the best way to make them a reality. The best way will be for me to ask and answer certain questions in respect of the activity. This is because merely affirming is passive but asking questions is active. When I ask myself questions my mind will go into work immediately to think out the answer. When next I am faced with any problem the best way to proceed will be to ask myself or another person questions.

ii. How to use emotions as action signal
Sometimes we may take emotions to be reality and final without knowing that they are a call to take certain actions. This idea tells me to look beyond the emotions I may feel such as anger, loneliness, rejection, frustration, stressed and so on and discover the actions that such emotions are pointing to. I have obtained an audio version of this action signal in order to help me internalise it better in dealing with my family and people generally.

iii. Words have power
Words have power to kill or save. I am therefore reminded to consciously choose the words to utter. One thing that gives words power is that they come from the heart and are directed to the heart. Words are also rarely forgotten once they are spoken. Most problems I am having with my wife in the recent times are as a result of the words I have used on her in the past. She confesses that whenever she remembers them, she feel very bad, rejected and lonely. I am therefore trying not to speak whenever I am angry because bad words are spoken in anger and regretted later. Also the words we speak to ourselves may have effect on us because our subconscious mind receives them and acts on them as if they are true especially when they are mixed with emotion.

iv. Emotion is created by motion
This idea is important to me because with it I have learnt that in order to arouse any emotion; I should set myself in motion. This implies acting out the emotion I intend to have. To acquire the emotion of love, I will act as if I am in love.

v. The importance of associations and effect of mixed association
I learnt from the above idea that one of the quickest ways of overcoming any bad habit or of acquiring any good habit is to have strong enough association to that habit. For instance, if I want to overcome the habit of procrastination, I will associate strong pleasure to performing the action and strong pain to not performing it. Anytime I find myself still enmeshed in the bad habit, it may be because of mixed associations. This implies that I may have associated both pain and pleasure to the performance of the action.

vi. Cardinal rules of relationship
In addition to the ideas I got from “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie on how to deal with people, the cardinal rules of relationship gave me more ways of dealing with people especially those close to me. It is important for us to understand what our rules are and to avoid striving to be right all the time. Another important rule is the habit of communicating with one’s partner or colleague. I am striving to live these rules in my relationship.

vii. The three core beliefs needed to effect a lasting change
The three core beliefs needed to effect a lasting change are (1) to believe that change is inevitable, (2) to believe that I must effect the change and (3) to believe that I can effect the change. The first belief is cardinal while the other beliefs will ensure that I carry out the change without looking outside knowing that I must and can.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas will greatly assist me in acquiring success in life and achieving my motto of working for God through service to humanity. The specific areas that these ideas can help me are in my family, in carrying out the exercises of level three of the IIGL studies, and in ridding myself of procrastination permanently. The application of the cardinal rules of relationship will enable me to talk things over with my wife and ensure that we understand and respect each other. The knowledge that emotion is created by motion will cause me to act out any emotion I desire any time. The knowledge of the effect of mixed association will make me to ask myself pertinent questions when I see myself taking two steps forward and one step backward.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Man’s mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.”

– The above quote teaches me the importance of the habit of thinking good thoughts all the time especially through meditation and relaxation. Whatever habits or thoughts I habitually engage in during meditation will remain a part of me and will present themselves whenever I need them.

“Next time you start getting upset with someone, remember that you are not upset with the person. You are reacting to your rules for the situation. Our personal rules are the ultimate judge and jury.”

– The above quote teaches me that more often than not, it is not really what happens to me that matters but my interpretation of the event. The interpretation of the situation is usually done in the light of the rules that I have set for myself in respect of that situation. To change my response or reaction, I need to change my rules knowing that I can never go against my rule because they are the ultimate judge and jury.

“The most important way to ensure success in any relationship is to communicate upfront. Make sure your rules are known and met.”

– To ensure success in relationship, I must not only ensure that my rules are communicated and met; I must also ensure that the other person’s rules are communicated and met. If I practise this in my family and place of work I believe that most misunderstandings and quarrels will cease.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No, there is nothing I disagree with nor unclear about.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, most pages of the book is filled with one exercise or the other that is supposed to be experienced before the book will be of benefit to the reader. In fact, the book is my daily action guide. I only read through it in order to be able to do this assessment. I am actually living it out because I discovered that that is the only way to benefit from the book and attain the level of success I dream of.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

The book is not just meant to be read and then kept aside. It is meant to be experienced daily. As I said in my answer to the first question, the only way that one will tap the values in the book is to literally live the book. This entails taking it bit by bit, digesting it, assimilating it and allowing it to shape one’s life. This is what I have set out to do.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

How to Win Friends and Influence People
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The author, Dale Carnegie is trying to demonstrate that the major principle that works in winning friends and influencing people is to “do unto others as you would want them do unto you”. He demonstrated this by various examples and principles which can be summed up with the above quote. My personal experiences have proved that the best way to handle people is to assume that they are “me”. Once I see another person in my role, I will try to understand that person and excuse his mistakes as I would like mine to be excused. I will appreciate him as I would like to be appreciated. That is the main idea the author is trying to convey in the book. The moment we try to practise it, we shall certainly begin to see miracles in our relationship. Assume that the other party is correct as one Igbo adage says “No man is wrong in his own mind”

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

There are more that seven ideas that were personally most important to me. However, for the purpose of this question, I will list seven. The other ideas are by no means less important to me. The seven ideas that are personally important to me are: (i) Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely, (ii) Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly, (iii) Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”, (iv) Let the other person do a great deal of the talking, (v) Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers, (vi) Become genuinely interested in other people, (vii) Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

i. Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely
No body likes to be looked down upon. Even a little child will resist any act that suggests they are less important than they think. Most of the things I do are motivated by the feeling of importance. To get people doing what I want, I must learn to treat them as important. There is nothing I hate and detest more like being belittled. Once I notice it, I always try to show my displeasure. I recall confronting my parish priest once in my university days to protest the omission of my name in the list of executives that worked in a particular year. Immediately I noticed the omission of my name, I became saddened and almost stopped working. That thought me a lesson and I tried to deduce that others will likewise feel the same. By reading about it in the book with many examples in support of it, I have resolved to consciously make people feel important very sincerely

ii. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly:
I had always resisted accepting my mistakes when they are directly pointed out to me. I will always find excuses to explain it away. I have always had misunderstanding with my wife whenever she directly calls my attention to any mistake. One example has been her complain that I always frown my face. Whenever she say that, I will immediately counter her and try to explain it away. But when she continued and when I started reading the books from IIGL, I started noticing it my self. Now, through the exercises and the ideas I have had from the books I have read so far, I am consciously trying to smile always. I am now aware of the frowning when it tries to occur. I often smile now. This thought me a lesson and made me to resolve that I will never call people’s attention to their faults directly if I want them to accept it and change. I have even started applying that in my family.

iii. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong:
Nothing angers one like being told that he is wrong. He will fight with his last blood to prove to you that he is right. Telling another person that he is wrong is like telling him that he is a no body. It is always better to prove to people that they are wrong by leading them to come to the conclusion themselves either through dramatizing or facts. Just tell him that he may be right even when you are sure he is wrong and then suggest the facts to him and allow him to convince himself

iv. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking,:
Every one likes to feel important and wants to be taken as such. The best way to show another person that he is important is to allow him do the talking while you do the listening. A good listener is always taken as a good conversationalist. By allowing the other person do a great deal of the talking, you stand a chance of learning from the person. The more you talk, the less you learn new things. Even when it comes to negotiating, allow the other party do most of the talking and only throw in suggestions/affirmations from time to time. Whenever I want to get anything from my boss, I always present the issue to him and then listen to him to talk.

v. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers:
This is true whether the person is your subordinate or superior. It makes the person feel important. This is the tactic I use to push any suggestion to my immediate boss. I will just present it to him as a suggestion and then ask him to present it to the management. By so doing, I always get most of my ideas across and am sure of seeing them accepted.

vi. Become genuinely interested in other people:
The best way of making people interested in you is by being interested in them. People like to feel important and once you show interest in them, they will want to prove their importance to you by devoting their time to you. The best way to do this is by listening attentively as people talk to you. One good turn, they say, deserves another.

vii. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests:
I have come to realise that the best way to make any one do something is to show him how that thing will benefit him. We are all selfish by nature and will never do anything whenever we feel that there is nothing in it for us.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

There is now doubt that these ideas will help me in dealing with people. I will always see the other person as “another me” and try to put myself in their shoes. I will seek first to understand and then to be understood. There is one practical way I will apply these ideas. Because of the sensitivity of that, I will not mention it as it has to do with my office. There is a policy we have been trying to introduce but the management seems to have another approach to it. I will now analyse the whole thing and then find out what they really want. In doing so, I will never tell them that they are wrong, nor make them feel that the idea is mine. I will lead them to see things as it will benefit them and make them feel important and appeal to their nobility. I will just introduce the proposal to them and allow them to do most of the talking. It is my hope that I will succeed with this approach and look forward to mentioning it as one of my achievements in IIGL studies.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee.” “And I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.”

This is important to me because I now know, through experience of others and a little experience of mine that no man is an island. We need other people to succeed and the best way to benefit from others is to know how to deal with them.

“I learned thirty years ago that it is foolish to scold. I have enough trouble overcoming my own limitations without fretting over the fact that God has not seen fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligence.”

I am an expert at scolding other people and even shout at them when they behave “foolishly” to my assessment. For John Wanamaker to say he discovered that to be foolish “thirty years ago” tells me that I am foolish and I don’t want to be foolish any longer. I must change.

“An animal rewarded for good behaviour will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behaviour.”

This teaches me that the best way to bring up my children is by encouraging them when they excel. The ideas remind me of what Maxwell Maltz said in his book “Psycho-Cybernetics” that the subconscious mind acts on any idea we feed it. If we feed the child’s mind with failure by constantly nagging, they will tend to continue in it because that is what they will always think about but if we feed their minds with
encouragement, they will do better. Remembering past success will trigger more success.

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”

In as much as some people would want others to believe that they are acting out of reason, it more often happens that what they call reason is a kind emotion or prejudice. This is because any reason is subject to belief and belief is a function of habit. With this idea, I will always strive to appeal to people’s emotion, prejudice and pride. I will present things to them in such a way that it will be in congruence with their prejudices which they mistakenly call reason.

“I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody. Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do.”

When we know that the best way to attract friends is by encouraging them and making them important, I will refrain from judging others. Criticism is a mark of fools and I don’t want to be a fool.

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

This is particularly important to me because I have been complaining of not having friends that will encourage me. Now I know where the secret is and will make use of it to accumulate friends.

“People will work harder for personal recognition and a word of commendation where it is deserved than they will for money alone.”

I will use this idea to spur my colleagues and children to action. Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you I have actually experienced this in my life. Even my wife was attracted to me because of how I sympathised with her. Although I did it without fully knowing what principles I was applying. Now I think I will always use this idea to make people love me more.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

Yes, I personally do not completely agree with this: “There is nothing either good or bad,” said Shakespeare, “but thinking makes it so.” If the above statement were to be true, then it follows that there are no objectivity. The only time when it will be true is when we view things subjectively. In which case, it is subject to the view of the person’s own thought and beliefs.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book did not contain any direct exercise; however, there was a suggestion as to how to maximally benefit from the book. I try to see how the ideas I got in the book will help me in my daily life. That is an indirect exercise which is left to the reader to set and do

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

As a way of summarizing, I wish to state that the book have opened my eyes to fundamental techniques in handling people. I have learnt that the best way to motivate people and bring out the best in them is by beginning with praise and honest appreciation of their opinions and excusing their mistakes by first talking about my own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is
good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

Keys to Success
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is the 17 principles needed for personal achievement. The main principle is a definite purpose. He tried to explain, with examples, how the starting point for any achievement is based on how definite ones desire is. All the other principles are actually acting on this definite purpose. He therefore emphasised and encouraged his readers to first of all establish a definite purpose and then act on that purpose by applying the other fifteen principles with a positive mental attitude. This positive mental attitude is a constant affirmation that the attainment of that definite purpose is possible.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are: (i) there is no scarcity of opportunity, (ii) the universe is constructed to allow me achieve my greatest potential, (iii) the need to budget time and money, (iv) the speed of achievement of my subconscious mind is directly dependent on the intensity with which I impress it with my plan, (v) conceal expectations when asking for advice, (vi) personal power does not come from the possession of material things alone, (vii) at sunrise every soul is born again.

i. There is no scarcity of Opportunity
This is important to me because with this realisation, I can easily overcome the emotion of envy. It is only when one believes that there is scarcity of opportunity will he be more inclined to be envious of another person’s success. But with this idea, I am inspired to always identify my own opportunity for success knowing that I am only limited by my willingness to exercise my thought.

ii. the universe is constructed to allow me achieve my greatest potential:
With this idea, I am inspired to always look for ways of achieving my greatest desire knowing that God has put machinery in place for my success. There are laws that are inbuilt in the universe which I need to tap in order to achieve my greatest potential.

iii. the need to budget time and money:
I am a chronic addict to the temptation of always living from hand to mouth. I hardly have savings in the past. It was last December that I vowed to always have savings because of the bitter experience I had but after sometime, I reverted to my old habit. With the examples and emphasis placed on the need to save and budget time, I have made it a duty to do it. I have mapped out time for various activities in my daily and weekly life. My present experiences have proved the need for saving. We have been on strike for the past three months without salary. What have been sustaining me is the little savings that I made.

iv. the speed of achievement of my subconscious mind is directly dependent on the intensity with which I impress it with my plan: Napoleon Hill stated in “think and grow rich” that we achieve or fail to achieve our dreams by the degrees to which that dream or idea is an obsession. To be successful in life, I must strongly impress the benefits of success to my subconscious mind. In essence, I must mix all my ideas and plans with emotion and present them strongly to my subconscious. I am good at procrastinating but since I started this IIGL studies, I have strongly impressed it upon my subconscious that I must successfully and efficiently complete the studies in the shortest possible time and the motivation to always do my assessments have been coming naturally.

v. conceal expectations when asking for advice:
People are always prejudiced and will want to be seen to conform to a certain standard or expectations. Therefore, when asking for advice, it is better to allow that advisor to be as objective as possible. Making him know your intention will most often bring out the prejudice but concealing it will enable him to think about all possible solutions.

vi. personal power does not come from the possession of material things alone:
It has been my desire to positively contribute to the development of my country by being the mouth of the oppressed but I have always believed that money is needed to do it. When I read about the above idea, I started having a change of mind. I am now looking for ways of acquiring the powers to change. The reading of “how to win friends and influence people” has given me some principles to use in acquiring the powers and I have started putting it into practise.

vii. at sunrise every soul is born again:
This idea is very important to me because it encourages me to forget about the past and begin anew every day. Irrespective of how successful I am or not in the past, every new day is another opportunity to excel the previous day’s performance.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas will help me to achieve the success that I crave by constantly applying them in my daily life. Knowing that opportunity is not scarce has actually started helping me because I now feel happier when my friends excel me unlike in the past. This is because I now know that I can equally excel whenever I make use of the opportunities presented to me. Knowing that I do not need money or material possessions to effect a change, I will use the powers that are within me to effect the changes that I desire. Even the powers within me will lead me to acquiring material things. I am always inclined to seek for advice by first telling the person what I intend doing but now, I will allow the advisor to be as objective as possible by concealing me intentions.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“You will begin to take charge of the effort of others only when you take complete charge of the power of your own mind.”

This reminds me of “As a man thinketh”. I am still encouraged the more that I have all it takes to change my negative feelings and behaviour only by changing my belief. With the daily practise of meditation and “role playing” I am gradually wearing a new self look.

“Opportunity is everywhere, but it is fleet of foot. Even if you have the vision to recognise it, without a fast decision on your part, it will be gone.”

The above quote is important to me because it makes me to realise that although “opportunities are not scarce” if I procrastinate in taking action the opportunity may be taken by another person who acts faster. There are ideas that I have but have been delaying to act. This quote now spurs me to action before another person overtakes me. I scheduled time and money for it.

“You can pay other people no greater compliment that to concentrate your attention on them when they want it.”

I am known in the office to attend to people while fixing my eyes on the computer. They have been complaining but I have not seen reasons with them. I thought that what matters most is that I attend to them, but this quote have taught me that it is a greater compliment to pay attention to them and not my computer.

“Fear of criticism is a common fear. If you let it, it will sap your initiative and imagination. But for every step you take away from it, it will take two steps away from you; once you begin your journey, it will grow easier by the day.”

This also reminds me of what I read in “Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Criticism has the potential of stalling my actions if allow it. But with the knowledge that once I begin my journey, it grow easier by the day, I will ignore the fear of criticism and act now

“It is better to act on a plan that is weak than to delay acting at all. Never wait for some outside force to trigger your action.”

I am encouraged to remember that all the powers and forces to act are within me and that I should use it whether my plans seems weak or bad. Perfection comes with practise.

“My family and neighbours had built up in my mind as being a bad boy, and I had done nothing to disappoint them”

It is a very bad habit to suggest to children or any body that he or she is bad. They will always prove you right. But when you suggest to them that they are good, they will also prove you right. It is not that they are doing it intentionally; it is the work of the subconscious mind to translate any thought that is continuously presented to it into reality. I am therefore taught to build up good habits in my children.

“When a man makes up his mind to solve any problem, he may at first meet opposition; but if he holds on and keeps on searching, he will be sure to find some sort of solution. The trouble with most people is that they quit before they start.”

In all my experiences, I do not recall having ever found the solution to any problem connected to my work on first attempt. And one surprising thing is the fact that when I have discovered the thing for which I am searching, I generally find that it has been within my reach all the time; but nothing except persistence and a will to win would have revealed it.”

The above quote, though very long, is very important to me because it teaches me about perseverance in the face of opposition and initial failures. It encourages me to see in my failures, seeds of equal or greater success.

“Nature looks with disfavour on any attempt to obtain something for nothing.”

This reminds me of the law of physics that says that matter cannot be destroyed or created but can change from one form to another. Any attempt to create something from nothing will never work. In the surface it may seem to, but beneath, something else has been given in exchange

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No, I personally agree with the author’s ideas. Although it took me about two readings to fully understand.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book did not contain any direct exercise but there is one suggestion I took as exercise and have found it useful. It is the idea of practising smiling and speech in front of a mirror and the advice to watch public speakers to learn how they employ their hands in emphasis. Another suggestion I found useful is the contents of chapter 18. I did the revision and was able to write the actions I need to take in order to acquire the 17 principles. One of my plans is to read the whole of chapter 18 at least once every day.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

“It makes little difference where you begin. The important thing to ask is: where are you going?”

I am encouraged by the above quote to find in all my mistakes or failures “a seed of greater or equivalent success. I will desist from labelling myself a failure because I failed in the past. Mistakes are part of experience which is essential for success.

“You can be changed by environmental influences or by your own decision.”

This has been helping me in controlling myself whenever my colleague do something that seems irrational. I tell myself that I have the power to determine how to react.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

Non Violent Communication
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is the need for us to adopt the habit of relating with one another in a loving, caring, understanding and empathic manner. That is, we should know that everyone wants to love and be loved. The best way to achieve this is to observe the specific things that people do or say which affects how we feel without evaluating those words or actions. Having identified the feelings, we should then identify our needs, values or desires that create the feelings and finally to request for a specific action that will satisfy the need. This is what he calls the NVC process. This process is employed in two actions (or parts) required in NVC (requesting for our needs honestly and receiving the needs empathically).

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:

i. The NVC Process (i.e. observation, feeling, need and request).

ii. Classifying and judging people promote violence

iii. To reveal what I really want I should make my requests in clear, positive, concrete action language

iv. The three stages of emotional expression: emotional slavery, Obnoxious and emotional Freedom

v. Steps to expressing anger: 1. Stop. Breathe. 2. Identify our judgmental thoughts. 3. Connect with our needs. 4. Express our feelings and unmet needs.

vi. The need for empathy in relationships.

vii. Express appreciation as a way to celebrate, not to manipulate.

i. The NVC Process (i.e. observation, feeling, need and request). The above idea has opened my eyes to a new way of relating with people especially my family. I have come to understand why I have unmet needs in my life. It is because I have been observing with evaluation and when I do, I loose sight of the need behind my feelings and subsequently fail to request for what I need. These ideas have started paying off in my relationship with my wife.

ii. Classifying and judging people promote violence: This idea made me to realise that the best way to eliminate violence is by connecting empathically with people and not by judging them or classifying them as been this or that. This is in support of what Dale Carnegie said in his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” that the best way to win an argument is to avoid it and that we should never point peoples’ mistakes directly to them. The best way to overcome violence is to avoid being violent ourselves. We are violent when we judge or classify people.

iii. To reveal what I really want I should make my requests in clear, positive, concrete action language: The importance of the above idea is supported by what Maxwell Maltz said in Psycho-Cybernetics about the subconscious mind acting on anything we feed it and tries to actualize it. When I follow the above idea in making my request, it will help the person to whom the request is directed to respond appropriately without ambiguity and unnecessary false guess.

iv. The three stages of emotional expression: (1) emotional slavery, (2) Obnoxious and (3) emotional Freedom: I am made to understand that of the three stages of emotional expression the best outlet is that of emotional freedom. This entails understanding that my needs should be met together with the need of the person I am dealing with. This is what is called a win-win situation in “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People “by Stephen R. Covey. The first two stages are what is called a loose-win and win-loose scenario which I must avoid by all means.

v. Steps to expressing anger: 1. Stop. Breathe. 2. Identify our judgmental thoughts. 3. Connect with our needs. 4. Express our feelings and unmet needs: This idea is very important to me because it will help me to be in control of myself all the time. It is another way of saying what Anthony Robbins said in his book “Giant Steps” on how to make use of our emotions as action signals. Whenever I feel angry, it is certainly not the external event that is responsible but how it affects my value system and needs. Once I feel angry, I will quickly apply these steps to identify what need of mine is unmet and then direct all my energy towards meeting it without allowing the anger to diffuse my energy. This has actually started paying off in my daily life. Although, sometimes, I tend to follow the path of least resistance, (which is what habit is) and vent my anger through violent means like shouting but the frequency is getting to 5%.

vi. The need for empathy in relationships: I am made to understand what empathy is and the role it plays in relationships. On reflection and comparison with “How to win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, I discovered that this is the best way to become genuinely interested in other people. This idea will really help me to be in touch with my wife’s feelings. Most times I tend to be judgmental towards her when she behaves in a way that suggests pessimism. I try to “talk sense” into her without connecting empathically with her feelings.

vii. Express appreciation as a way to celebrate, not to manipulate: This idea is important to me because it made me understand better and in another dimension what Dale Carnegie said in his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” on the need to give honest and sincere appreciation. It specifically made me to know that the best way to give sincere appreciation is to specifically mention what the person did for which I am showing appreciation, how I feel about it and a specific need of mine that was met by the action.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

I recall how I felt when my wife mixed an observation she made with an evaluation and then become judgmental in her remark. She said, “Daddy why is it that whenever you see any our things spoiling, you never bother to keep them?” At first I fumed inside and tried to react out of anger immediately but when I remembered what I read in NVC I tried to control myself by applying the first step in how to express anger by taking a deep breath. I tried to correct her by making her understand that she was generalising and then requested her to be specific with her observation without mixing it with evaluation. She then told me “you saw our broom lying scattered in the bathroom and you never cared to tie it.” At this point I was still feeling angry but managed to control it by identifying what need of mine that was affected by the angry feeling. When I identified the need as been my desire to be appreciated and encouraged I tried to make her understand how I feel when she use those words and how I would like to be appreciated. The incidence also made me to reflect how I talk to her at times. I discovered that I am also guilty of the same offence. I then explained to her what I read in NVC and how I would like us to help each other by living the ideas which I now share. This has been helping us greatly.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values.”

– The above quote beckons on me to discover my needs and values when I sit in judgment or analysis of other people’s actions or words. “I can handle your telling me what I did or didn’t do. And I can handle your interpretations but please don’t mix the two.” —Marshall Rosenberg

– The above quote encourages me not to mix observation with evaluation. It is dangerous and violent. ““I kiss the God in you that allows you to give us what you did.”

– The above quote reminds me to be humble and proud when I receive appreciation. I will be humble knowing that it is the God in me that made it possible and I should be proud when I remember Matthew 5:16, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

“Anything that is worth doing is worth doing poorly!” What does Marshall mean by “poorly” I don’t seem to agree completely with that unless he meant to say that “Anything that is worth doing is worth doing ‘at least’ poorly.” Notice the “at least” in the paraphrase. That is another way of saying that we should not allow the fear of not doing something perfectly lead us to doing nothing.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book did not contain specific exercises except those at the end of chapters 3 to 7 about some statements where Marshall requests us to identify whether we have understood the ideas behind the NVC process. I performed the exercises and discovered that we are not in agreement in some of them. His explanations made it clearer to me. I also gave myself the exercise of trying to identify when I (or others) communicate violently and try to reframe it using NVC language.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

Another thing I got from the book that was not covered above is the idea of how to make a request instead of demand and the danger in “should(ing)” myself or others and but(ing) people.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

Real Magic
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is the fact that everybody’s life and all relationships within that life are on purpose and that purpose is giving. The best way to realise this purpose is to “know” that as one thinks, so shall he be. The knowing is an inner experience and belief that we are complete, powerful and capable of being purposeful in our life and does not need anything outside us to make us complete. This knowing will lead to miracles or real magic.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are: (1) I am complete, (2) to live my life on purpose, (3) My relationship to others is in my mind, not in what they think or do, (4) Imagination is more important than knowledge, (5) Meditation or relaxation is essential in my life, (6) Miracles are performed not by will but by willingness to allow it come to and through me, and (7) When I trust in myself, I trust in the wisdom (God) that created me.

i. I am complete
There is no better knowledge than the fact that I am complete. I do not need anybody or anything external to me to be what I want to be in life. This is a great lesson for me. Henceforth, I will not wait for anything or anybody to accomplish whatever I want to accomplish. I will go to the factory of my mind where all things both visible and invisible are created first and create whatever I want from life.

ii. To live my life on purpose:
My motto in life has been “Working for God through service to humanity”. Now, with this realisation that I have purpose in life and that purpose is that of giving, I am encouraged to maintain my motto and focus my thoughts on how to make it a reality. I am also informed that I need not worry how to achieve it, the knowledge and constant thought about the purpose will suffice and cause my subconscious mind to discover the means whereby it will be made possible. To live this life of purpose, I have made true my desire to start youth seminar in my local parish. I have discussed with my parish priest on how to start a group for that purpose. The first meeting is expected to hold before the end of November, 2010.

iii. My relationship to others is in my mind, not in what they think or do:
How energizing is the above idea to me in dealing with people. I can decide how the relationship will go. This idea is already helping to mediate for peace and reconciliation. I was speaking with the mother of my friend who has vowed not to call her son on phone until the son apologises to her. She was bearing grudges against the son for perceived wrong actions and utterances but when I explained to her the implication of her stand and how it affects their relationship, she felt relieved, thanked me and promised to make amends with him.

iv. Imagination is more important than knowledge:
This idea is important to me because despite all my knowledge, if I don’t imagine or think of how to apply them, it will be useless. As Napoleon Hill said in his book, “Think and Grow Rich” that knowledge is useless until it is applied. The only way in which knowledge can be applied is through action, and action is always preceded by
imagination or thought. This also reminds me of why I have not actually been applying my knowledge in the area of serving God. I recall telling my friend that there seems to be an external force preventing me from praying and experiencing God despite my knowledge in the efficacy of prayer. It is now that I realise why I was not taking my prayers and the knowledge I have about God serious. It was because I have failed to Imagine or think.

v. Meditation or relaxation is essential in my life:
In all the books I have been reading in IIGL studies so far, the importance of meditation or relaxation has been stressed as been essential for success in life. It is during meditation that I can connect with God and tap the powers that are within me. I have always read about the need for meditation in my religious books and articles
but it is now that I know “why” it is important. Without it, there can never be any creation.

vi. Miracles are performed not by will but by willingness to allow it come to and through me: This idea teaches me that the best way, if not the only way, to work
miracles in my life and other peoples lives is by doing the things that I am supposed to be doing. Once I continuously live my purpose on earth, miracles will follow as a necessary consequence.

vii. When I trust in myself, I trust in the wisdom (God) that created me:
I use to think that doing certain things is a form of pride but the above idea has taught me that it is not but a form of credit to my God. The only time it will become pride is when I take the praise. By this knowledge, I have started doing what seems impossible in the past. This is because, I no longer see myself as being the person
doing those things but God. An example is the way I pray and take things now. I always trust in my God given powers now and deep within me, there is a “knowing” that I am not just an ordinary human being that can be intimidated by any superstitious beliefs. In the past, I used to cower at every insinuation that what I am passing through is as a result of one external force of darkness or curses inherited from my ancestors. But now, I see all those things as been a slight on my person and invariably on God because I have not trusted in the powers within me and by extension in God.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

With the understanding and “knowing” that I am complete and on purpose on this earth, I will stop waiting for external forces of money or people to help me live that purpose. I will go in the workshop of my mind in meditation and fashion out how to live my purpose. Knowing that my relationship with others is in my mind and not in what they do or say, I will personally apply this in the way I relate with my wife and children. I will not judge them based on what they do or say but based on how I want the relationship to go. I will stop acting or failing to act because of their actions or inactions but based on what I want out of the relationship. I will stop finding faults but thinking out solutions. With the knowledge that miracles are performed not by will but by the willingness to allow them to come to and through me, I will stop wasting my time looking for miracles as I have always done. I have believed and been waiting for one miracle to happen and make me suddenly rich. Now I know that the best way to cause such miracle to happen is to go about my purpose of “serving” or giving to others.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Nothing will be truly in your life until you reach a conviction within that it belongs to you.”

– The above quote is important to me because it made me to realize that unless I demand for what is mine, it will never be given to me.

“When you reach outward in anger and hatred, you are in fact hurting not only your supposed enemy, but yourself and all humanity as well.”

– This quote cautions me to realise that anger and hatred are dangerous not only to myself but to my supposed enemy and entire humanity. Whenever I have quarrel with my wife and I try to act out of anger, I discover that I am also hurting myself. Sometimes even the supposed enemy may not have anything against me and I will be roasting inside out of anger.

“When you fight evil by employing the methods of hatred and violence, you are part of the hatred and violence of evil itself.”

– As I strive to fight the evil and violence in my country, I will not make use of hatred for those who are perpetrating the evil but to reach out with love and care.

“All that you fight weakens you. All that you are for empowers you.”

– The way to win a war against any bad habit is not by fighting that habit but by working for the good habit that I want to acquire.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

“When one lives purely by the laws of cause and effect, one can never expect to create miracles,… it is with the power of our minds that miracles originate, and therefore cause and effect are replaced by the belief in the effects that come out of what we call nothingness or emptiness.”

I tend to disagree slightly with the above quote from the book. Even what we call nothingness or emptiness is also supporting the law of cause and effect. It was the cause of our thoughts that create the miracles. And thought, as we know, is the only true reality. Somewhere in the book it was said that “The only true reality is thought” and that “Man may have a nonmaterial consciousness capable of influencing matter.” When we compare this with the earlier quote we discover that miracles are actually supporting the laws of cause and effect.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book contains exercises and the one I found most helpful is that of meditation. I have made it a point of duty to always incorporate it in my daily prayers.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

Anyone that have followed through with the institute studies so far will discover that the contents of Real Magic is another way of stating what is contained in the books read so far in level one studies. For instance, Dr Wayne’s assertion that we are purposeful is another way of stating what Maxwell Maltz taught in his book, Psycho-Cybernetics about the human mind being teleological. Also, the assertion that it is with our minds that we wrought miracles is another way of stating what James Allen taught in his book, “As a man Thinketh.” In all, I found the contents of the book refreshing my earlier beliefs and understanding it from another perspective. It is becoming obvious to me that I need to have a goal or purpose in life. This purpose will be discovered by conscious thought through relaxation and meditation. This is what I have resolved to accomplish with the aid of Giant steps by Anthony Robbins.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

Law of Attraction
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is that what we experience in life (whether good or bad) is a function of what we continually hold in our subconscious mind or vibrational bubble whether intentionally or not. He therefore demonstrated that before we can achieve anything in life, our thoughts, and actions must be deliberately made to be in synchronism with our desire, need or want. Once our thoughts and actions are in sync with our desire or want, we will attract the success we want.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:
i. How to identify my desire (So, what do I want?)
ii. How to give my desire attention (Vibrational Bubble)
iii. How to Allow my desire to materialise
iv. How to teach the Law of Attraction to children
v. Always say Yes to Money
vi. How to be abundant
vii. How to make affirmations better and more useful

i. How to identify my desire (So, what do I want?)
This idea teaches me to always discover what I really want in life by asking the above question. Whenever I find myself talking of the things I don’t want I will quickly ask myself “so, what do I want”? Remembering and applying this to what Anthony Robbins taught in Giant Steps about asking questions, my mind will go to work and then help me to discover what I really want. I also learnt how to use the same question to stay positive all the time by asking anybody that always talks about what they don’t want what they want.

ii. How to give my desire attention (Vibrational Bubble):
The concept of Vibrational Bubble, though not new to me except the new terminology given to it hear reminds me that what I consistently think and say will be acted upon by my subconscious mind to make it a reality. I am therefore warned to always hold the picture of what I want in my thoughts and words. This is because whatever I bring into my Vibrational Bubble is taken as a command by the subconscious and acted upon. The Vibrational bubble is like the set of program that is written to process a certain algorithm. Whatever we feed as input to the program is processed ‘as is’ and result given.

iii. How to Allow my desire to materialise:
Although I personally do not have problem with the concept taught in the three-step procedure for making allowing statements (because I know and believe that “Anything the mind of man can conceive and believe, it will achieve”), I find three of the ten “More Tools to Help You Allow” very helpful. They are the need to celebrate the evidence, record proofs and show appreciation and gratitude. I discovered that these three ideas are ways of making my desires to stay in my Vibrational Bubble thereby bringing them to reality.

iv. How to teach the Law of Attraction to children:
The procedure for teaching the Law of Attraction to children appealed to me because I want to involve myself in the retraining of teachers in public schools in my community. I will include this idea in my curriculum. It will also help me to teach it to my children.

v. Always say Yes to Money:
I have always rejected monetary offers whenever I offer someone assistance. I usually tell them not to worry. But immediately I saw this statement in the book something in me said satori. It is a kind of instant awakening. I felt like Archimedes and said Eureka. I have actually found a way of making more money. I will however combine this idea with going the extra mile and not demand for money. I will always render my services in the spirit of going the extra mile but will never reject any offer or pretend as if I don’t need it. I will now receive that with appreciation and let the person know that I appreciate.

vi. How to be abundant:
Abundance was defined in the book as been a feeling. This idea made me to understand that it is within me to generate this feeling of abundance in my life. I have always lived a life of scarcity, living from hand to mouth. But with this idea, I have started developing the consciousness of abundance in me. The exercise on how to discover and record sources of abundance has greatly opened my eyes to the feeling of abundance. They are the things I take for granted in the past.

vii. How to make affirmations better and more useful:
I recall what Anthony Robbins wrote in Giant Steps about affirmations. He taught that questions are better than affirmations. However, I now have a way of making affirmations better and more useful. I have come to understand that the reason affirmations are not as effective as questions is because most of the time when we affirm something, a part of us is doubting the authenticity of our statements and once doubt enters, our subconscious mind picks that emotion of doubt (which is a negative vibe) and acts on it. This always results to failure. Now, the best way to make affirmation is to tell ourselves that “we are in the process of” manifesting that which we are affirming. When we word our affirmations this way, our subconscious mind will take it to be true and this will generate a positive vibe which will lead to the actualisation of the affirmation.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas will be of great help to me in acquiring my heart desires especially that of living in abundance. The most important of the seven ideas that will help me to achieve monetary abundance are the idea of saying yes to money and the tools to attract and live in abundance. Also, the idea of how to make affirmations work for me will greatly assist me in making my affirmations work for me. The idea of how to identify my desire will help me to focus my energy on what I want rather than what I don’t want. This idea will also help me to ward off negative and pessimistic people by promptly asking them “so, what do you want?”

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Remember, the law of attraction responds to vibrations you send out based on how you feel, not based on specific words you use.”

– This reminds me of what Napoleon Hill said in his book that our subconscious mind responds to desires mixed with emotion. I am therefore reminded to always make my affirmative statements with strong emotion. The best way to do this is to precede such affirmations with meditative imagination by ‘acting as if’.

“Abundance is a feeling. Be more deliberate to include the feeling of abundance in your current vibration – your Vibrational Bubble.”

– Because I know that I have all it takes to develop any feeling, the above quote will enable me to develop the feeling of abundance in my life.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No, the book is quite easy to understand as it is a simple way of presenting the ideas in the other books I have read. In fact, I find the ideas oversimplified.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book contains exercises and I completed them. I downloaded more samples of the worksheets and am finding them very useful in stating my contrast and abundant-ness in my life.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

I have said it in my previous assessments of some other books that the concepts in most of the books are the same. I discovered how related the ideas are to what is taught by Maxwell Maltz in his book, Psycho-Cybernetics. The “Law of Attraction” is a practical procedure for the application of what Maxwell taught about the success mechanism in man.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 8
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8

The Power of Intention
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is that the creator (God) of every creature both living and non living things have an Intention (or purpose) for creating them. He explained that once we (human beings, who are capable of reasoning) realises this “Intention” and consciously synchronise our free will with it, we will connect to the Source (God) who will then empower us to take congruent actions with little or no resistance.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:
i. The seven faces of intention:
ii. The steps for connecting to intention:
iii. The obstacles to connecting to intention:
iv. The need to be Authentic and Peaceful and the steps to realise it:
v. The need to respect myself at all times and the ten steps to realise it:
vi. The Idea that I am a Genius and the steps to living the Genius that I am:
vii. How to Heal Myself and Others:

i. The seven faces of intention:
The idea of the seven faces of intention, when mastered by constant exposition will open doors to one living a life of purpose. These faces of Intention namely, creativity, kindness, love, beauty, expansive, unlimited abundance and receptivity explain what anyone who is living on Intention must do. I have read these faces severally and will continue to meditate on them to enable them become part of me. Reflecting on these ideas have also made me to reinforce my earlier belief that I am not just here for myself alone but that I am connected to all human beings. I have a mission of working for God through service to humanity.

ii. The steps for connecting to intention:
I find the steps to connecting to intention very important because they are helping me to internalise and manifest the power of intention in my life. Knowing that I will never know the meaning of my life until I connect to my creator, I have made meditating on the faces of intention a part of me by typing out and printing the seven faces of intention.

iii. The obstacles to connecting to intention:
The obstacles to connecting to intention are like feedback systems that tell us when we are not moving in the direction of our target and the need to apply a corrective action. Whenever I find myself indulging in any of the three unrecognised (before it was unrecognized but it has been brought to our recognition now) obstacles to connecting to intention, I will take the necessary and suggested action to correct my course.

iv. The need to be Authentic and Peaceful and the steps to realise it:
There is always the tendency to try to please the other person in relationships. Sometimes while doing this, we often pretend. This behaviour is counterproductive and more often than not leads to worse situations. It is better to be authentic or ‘empathic’ as Rosenberg said in Nov Violent Communications. In the event that our effort in bringing the other person to reason with us yields no result, we should be unperturbed and still remain peaceful and empathic. This attitude will always make the person to rethink. One of the steps to realising the intention of being authentic and peaceful came at the time I needed it. I was trying to make a relative of mine to
understand that we are the architects of our feelings and health but she wouldn’t believe me. She even told me that I am fond of trying to make people believe what I believe. All my encouragement to her to read the books that produced such beliefs in me fell on deaf ears. As I was trying to make her reason with me and was not producing the expected results, I was depressed but then as I was reading the book and I saw where it was advised that we should detach ourselves from the outcome. If my efforts in overcoming peoples’ ignorance are not producing the result that I expected, I should not allow that to disturb me. Immediately I read that, my depression vanished and ever since then I have always tried to detach myself from the outcomes of my effort.

v. The need to respect myself at all times and the ten steps to realise it:
I was made to understand that disrespect to myself is a disrespect to God. It is only when I respect myself that others will respect me. Whatever I teach others to call me is what they will call me. When I am in the midst of people I am often looking for their approval or disapproval of my actions. Realising that I can’t be responsible for how others view me, I will ignore their interpretations of my actions and inactions but try to be mindful of my character.

vi. The Idea that I am a Genius and the steps to living the Genius that I am:
It is often said that a genius is born not made but the idea I got in this book made me to understand and believe that a genius is actually made. Each of us has the potential force to be genius in any field we chose. What is required to make that genius manifest is action. As Einstein observed that ‘nothing happens until something moves’, so also in the case of the said born genius, nothing will happen until the genius moves or acts. This idea has strengthened me to go after whatever I think of doing. I have come to realise that the genius in me is not seeking for confirmation from others but quiet space (obtainable in mediation) to blossom. I signed up here to express my unique brilliance in changing the educational system in my community and country. Therefore, I should not ignore this genius in settling for less. I must make a remarkable impact.

vii. How to Heal Myself and Others:
Dr. Wayne mentioned about healing in Real magic and since then I have being drawn to the idea of effecting healing in my life and that of my relatives. So, when I saw the steps in effecting this healing in my life and others I was elated. The realisation that it is the result of ego’s ‘out of sync thoughts and actions’ that produces the dis-ease or disharmony in our bodies and that healing is effected when we realign our thoughts and actions with the power of intention, I am now armed with the tools to become a healer.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

The above ideas will help me both in my family and office in dealing with people. Knowing what is expected of me in the seven faces of intention, I will apply all the other ideas in living my intention. I will be able to realise the first face of intention (creativity) by appreciating and living the genius that I am. The application of the ideas I learnt about how to connect to intention will enable me to live the seven faces of intention in my daily life.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“You see things as they are and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were, and I say ‘Why not?’”

– The above quote is a motivation to think like a genius and tap into the powers of creativity which is one of the faces of intention. I am always fond of asking questions why things are the way they are but by this I am also encouraged to ask questions why things must remain the way they are. That is, I must learn to be creative and inventive.

“Remember at all times that what you think and what you do affects other people.”

– Knowing that what I do and think affects other people will make me to realise that I am not just living for myself alone. Even when I am tempted to be lazy or procrastinate I should be aware that I am invariably affecting other people.

“Nothing happens until something moves.”

– This quote is reminding me the fact that action is inevitable to produce the results I desire. Merely wishing and hoping will not cause my condition to change until move. Once I move by performing actions, my conditions will change.

“You feel good not because the world is right, but your world is right because you feel good.”

– The above quote made me to understand that whatever happens around me is a function of how I feel. I have the power to make my world right by feeling good or allow the world to make me feel good, which may never always happen.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No, I find myself agreeing and understanding with the entire ideas in the book.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Each chapter of the book contain steps to realising and living its ideas. So, I find the concluding parts of each chapter an exercise. I am living them because they are not one time exercise but life-time exercise.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

I wish to mention that the writings of Dr. Wayne W. Dyer portray him as a ‘spiritual man’. He believes that everything that happens to us is coordinated by a Supreme Being or Spirit who he calls by various names such as Source, Infinite Intelligence and so forth. His writings will appeal to those who are liberal in their religious views because he sites many authors of different religions.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

Unlimited Power
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is that every human being has an inherent unlimited power to do whatever he so wishes (good or bad), to acquire or terminate anything (habit/character, spiritual/material riches, fame etc) he so wishes available to him whenever he decides to use it. This power, he said, is manifested in the way and quality of how we communicate with ourselves and others.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:
i. The seven beliefs of successful people
ii. Our experiences are stored as a record (audio/video) and can be
replayed or left to fade
iii. How to use swish pattern to acquire or stop any habit
iv. The six keys to powerful indomitable physiology
v. Limitation disengage
vi. How to get whatever I want by asking intelligently and with precision
vii. The five keys to wealth and happiness

i. The seven beliefs of successful people:
The seven beliefs of successful people was a reframe of the seven lies of success. They are important to me because I now know better the beliefs to adopt in order to be successful. I discovered that I already have four of the beliefs. I have acquired the other three that I do not fully have now, which may be the reasons for my not been as successful as I want to be. When I saw one of the three, the belief that “there is no failure but results”, my perspective to events changed. I began to see all of my “failures” as really a “result” which I produced and which I can also change by performing a different set of actions. The last belief, which I understand to be the climax of all the other beliefs, is that of “commitment”. Without commitment, there can’t be success but when we see our failures as results, we will be committed to change course in order to reach the goals.

ii. Our experiences are stored as a record (audio/video) and can be replayed or left to fade: The notion that all our experiences are stored as an audio or video record which can be played back gives me the power to choose which to play. Just as I can decide on the type film to watch or the type of music to listen to, I can now decide what experience to play black. Any pleasant experience is better played over and over again especially during unpleasant experiences. In this way, they will be reinforced. On the other hand, I will henceforth refuse to play back any unpleasant experiences. It is better for me to associate or recall pleasant moments during unpleasant moments.

iii. How to use swish pattern to acquire or stop any habit: The swish pattern concept and exercise is very useful to me in acquiring any habit I want to acquire and also in stopping any habit. It has helped me to stop the habit of always frowning my face. It is also helping me in assisting others to rid themselves of any bad habit or to acquire a new habit.

iv. The six keys to powerful indomitable physiology: These keys contain the solution to an effective health. From the keys, I discovered how and when to eat what. I saw in them the solution to strong health. The idea on the need to eat fruits on an empty stomach is what I have been practising without any specific reason for that. I now understand why and am trying to make it a habit. The keys will help me to draw up a menu for my family use when I must have obtained and read one of the books recommended for effective food combining.

v. Limitation disengage:
The five rules for disengaging oneself from any form of limitation is important to me because they will assist me to liberate myself and loved ones from all forms of limitation. When applied in conjunction with twelve steps in goal setting, it will help me to be in control of my goals. The rule that states that we should be in control is especially important to me because I sometimes expect other people to motivate me. I will now take absolute control and determine what happens without waiting for anybody or anything to prod me.

vi. How to get whatever I want by asking intelligently and with precision: I am trying to master this asking procedure because I am easily put off when I ask and don’t get what I want. I now know the strategies for asking and receiving from God and man. When I juxtaposed the first guideline which states that we should ask specifically with the four steps of Non Violent Communication (NVC) I discovered that most of my asking and not receiving is caused by not asking specifically. I applied that guideline when I asked my wife to come back with me to the village for Christmas and she refused. I remembered to ask specifically applying NVC and got what I want. So, to get what I want, I will specifically and persistently as the person who can help me with focused congruent belief until I get what I am asking for.

vii. The five keys to wealth and happiness:
To be wealthy and happy, I must learn to handle frustration, rejection, financial pressure, complacency and how to give more than I expect to receive (going the extra mile). At the level I am now, I discovered that the key I needed most is how to handle rejection. I often fail to make move to better myself financially because of the fear of rejection. With idea of handling complacency I recall my earlier belief that I am financially okay and don’t need to try more. But now, I have identified that as been complacent and hence one of the reasons for my limited income.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

I found in these seven ideas and a host of other ideas in the book the solution to all my problems. These ideas will help me in every aspect of my life: financial, social, personal, spiritual, romantic, professional, community, family, health and so on. I find in them a means of acquiring all the habits I need for my youth empowerment/leadership seminar and training, peace and conflict resolution in families. I have already started applying some of the ideas together with other ideas I got in previous books in helping others. I used the idea of reframing to help one man in my local church to overcome hypertension. He complained to me that he is having sleepless nights because of what his daughter-in-law was doing and I explained to him that he has the power to reframe his interpretation of her actions and free himself from the disease.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“People don’t usually lack resources; they lack control over their resources.”

– The above quote is important to me because it reminds me that I have all the resources I may need. What I require is to master how to control them through controlling my mind by practising what I read in the book. It is up to me and I have started mastering them.

“People who are two insistent on their own views, find few to agree with him.”

– The above quote is true and appeals specially to me. It will help me to realise that people are different. By applying empathy as taught in NVC I will stop being insistent on my views.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

As I remarked in answer to question one (1), I prefer to reframe the “seven lies of success” to “seven beliefs for successful”. This is because the author captioned the chapter “lies” but the whole content is a reframe of the “lies” to “beliefs”. When someone reads the caption as the author puts it and then jumps in to read from the middle without reading the introductory part of the chapter, he may mistake the beliefs to be real lies and thus there will be conflict.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book contains lots of exercises and I have completed some of them. Just like Giant Steps, the exercises are meant to be lived. I often refer to the them and have set goals for their full mastery as they will greatly help me.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

I wish to add that the writings of Anthony Robbins when compared to the other books are outstanding in a way. His writings are pragmatic and will appeal to people from all works of life and religion. He believes that everything is within human powers and only takes determination to accomplish. It will be understood better when viewed through the understanding of the teleological functioning of the human mind as Maxwell Maltz stated in his book, “Psycho-Cybernetics.” If I am asked to recommend only two books out of the books read so far, I would recommend that Psycho-Cybernetics be read first and then Unlimited Power. This is not to say that the other books are not good. They are all good in their own ways and have been helping me. Anthony will tell you what to do, why you need to do it and most importantly, how to do it. He usually provide the complete Anatomy of a goal (the what, why and how) as contained in Goal setting 101.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

Goals
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is that everything we vividly decide to acquire or attain (goals) that is challenging and congruent with our values and we consistently work towards with faith, detailed, measurable plan and persistent effort, we will certainly achieve.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:
xv. Blue sky thinking
xvi. Twelve steps to set and Achieve Any Goal
xvii. The great question: what is my definite purpose in life
xviii. Analyse starting point (Start from the Beginning)
xix. The 80/20 rule
xx. The balanced scorecard
xxi. The five question to keep focussed

i. Blue sky thinking:
The concept of blue sky thinking though not new except in the change of term (it is another way of saying that the sky is the limit or that there is no limit to what we can do except the limit we place on ourselves) appeals to me because of the way Brian explained it. What got my attention is the way he explained that for whatever we want, we should first of all imagine that there is no limitation to our acquiring it. We then face reality and ask ourselves what needs to change before we can acquire that. Having identified what must change, the next thing is to change that thing in order to acquire the object of our imagination. I discovered that it is another way of saying what Anthony Robbins said in Unlimited Power about the three step procedure for acquiring anything. He explained that the steps are: determine what you want, determine the price to pay and then pay the price.

ii. Twelve steps to set and Achieve Any Goal:
I have committed the twelve steps to memory and have started using it to set goals especially my immediate needs. Going through the steps, I discovered why I have failed in achieving my goals in the past. They are summary of what it takes to set and achieve goals as contained in most of the books read so far. I realised that one of the major reasons I don’t get what I want in the past is because of lack of vividness. When we are vague about what we want, we may not realise it even when it comes our way.

iii. The great question – what is my definite purpose in life:
When I asked the above question I discovered that my major purpose in life is “working for God through service to humanity.” I analysed all the goals I listed and discovered that what gives me most sense of success, happiness and fulfilment is serving other people. Every other goal, I discovered, springs up from this basic desire. Whatever it will take me to put smiles on the faces of people are my other goals.

iv. Analyse starting point (Start from the Beginning):
Before you travel from one place to the other, you need to know where your starting point is before you decide which direction to take. Analysing the starting point will help me to know where I am and enable me to determine precisely what needs to be done and in what quantity. This will enable me to fix a realistic deadline for the realisation of the goal. It is another way of saying “start from the beginning” according to Anthony Robbins.

v. The 80/20 rule:
The 80/20 rule teaches me to determine the major actions that are required to effectively achieve a goal. It tells me that it is only 20% of the actions in any goal that contributes to the 80% of the overall project and to focus my initial efforts on these 20%. When this is effectively done, it will provide a form of motivation when I discover that I am nearing completion. But when I fail to identify the 20% that contributes to 80% contribution and mistakenly start with the 80% that contribute to 20%, I may be discouraged along the line if I notice my efforts yielding no commensurate results.

vi. The balanced scorecard:
I recalled one workshop on wireless networking which I attended sometime in October 2010. We were not told that there will be an examination at the end of the workshop. However, on the last day of the workshop we were given an examination, graded and a price given to the best candidate. Most of the questions that were asked are what I would have been able to answer well if I had known before hand that we would be graded. After that day, I resolved to always take anything I will be doing seriously as if I will be graded on it. Even since I started the institute studies, I discovered that my comprehension has improved. This is because I set out to read with the intention that I have assessments to write after reading. This has forced me to be more attentive and targeted. The concept of the balanced scorecard is really important. We should have clear, measurable goals in whatever we are doing and score ourselves along the line.

vii. The five question to keep focused:
I agree with the author that the most important question of the five questions is “what is the most valuable use of my time now?” The person asking the question must have had a goal and detailed plan for its realisation before this question can be effectively answered. When this question is answered, it will point to the direction of one’s goals. Also, when I ask and answer the other questions, I will be more focused and result oriented.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas have started helping me in setting and achieving goals. The five questions to keep focused will specifically help me in my university to render more efficient and effective service. I will also use the twelve steps to setting and achieving goals whenever I want to do anything no matter how small or big.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“In fact, there are no unrealistic goals; there are merely unrealistic deadlines.”

– It is sometimes disheartening when I plan to do something by a given date and fail to do it. But with the above quote, whenever I set a goal and fail to achieve it on the anticipated date, I will rather change it than being discouraged.

“… the single most useful bit of advice for all humanity,…: Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life, and when it comes, hold your head high. Look it squarely in the eye, and say, ‘I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me.’” – Ann Landers

– In fact, I will tell the problem “I am bigger than you. I have defeated you.” I have discovered that when a problem is anticipated and preparation made in advance, you may not even be aware when the problem comes and goes. You just find yourself tackling it without difficulty. But when a problem is not anticipated, you are usually put off when it comes. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I slightly disagree with Brian about the issue of cause and effect as he treated it in page 258/259. I strongly believe in the theory of cause and effect. I believe that “nothing happens until something moves.” It could be our thought that moves before something happens. No matter the meaning one assigns to anything that happens, there is certainly something that caused that thing to happen. When we remember and believe in the power of intention, we will easily understand that every event is as a result of something either visible or invisible.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book contains exercises and I have fully completed most of them. I find them helpful and challenging.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

Goal Setting 101
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is that before one can attain success in life, he must determine what he actually wants from life (a sense of direction) and then work (action is sine-qua-non) towards obtaining those needs (or wants) from life by applying the principles of goal setting.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:
i. Respect Reality – Face the Facts
ii. Ask the Six Important Goal Setting Questions
iii. Practice Speed, Simplicity, and Boldness
iv. Only Results Matter
v. Be Unreasonable
vi. Inspect What You Expect
vii. Celebrate Your Accomplishments

viii. Respect Reality – Face the Facts:
This is a warning and reminder for objectivity. The best way to assure consistent and lasting success is for one to set goals that are realisable. It is suicidal and counterproductive for anyone to set goals which he knows or even doubt he could attain. This will obviously result to failure and if one repeatedly sets such goals, the subconscious mind may associate setting goals to be synonymous with failure and hence will always work towards failure. This will deceive the person into believing that goal setting is useless. It is advisable to start with small realisable goals and after gathering many successful experiences venture into setting seeming unrealistic
goals. In this way, one will build on the past successes as like attracts like. When we accept reality, we are most likely to achieve our goals while denial moves us away.

ix. Ask the Six Important Goal Setting Questions:
Asking the six goal setting questions will ensure that every goal will be realised. The six steps will assist me in evaluating the goals that I have set in the past. Knowing specifically what I want to accomplish, why I want it, who will be involved in helping me achieve the goal, where I am now in relation to the goal, when (on what date)
I expect to achieve the goal, and how I will accomplish the goal are the six questions I need to ask and answer. By the time I answer these questions, I must have generated enough motivation and determination to accomplish the goal. The goal must have graduated to intention at that stage and will most likely be achieved.

x. Practice Speed, Simplicity, and Boldness:
The concept of speed entails that I act immediately I discover an opportunity. Although opportunities are not scarce, merely wishing and dreaming and planning will not guarantee any result without action. Acting with speed is another way of saying that action should immediately follow any good idea. The simplicity admonishes me to keep my plans simple without worrying about much detail. This is essential because before any action can be simplified, I must have answered the six questions above and making any step seem simple will guarantee successful action. Boldness prods me to reach out without fear of what the result may be. Whatever it is, I must have gained an experience and discovered “another way of not realising my dream”. That will serve as an elimination method of solving a problem.

xi. Only Results Matter:
This idea is important to me because it made me to remember that no matter what I think I know or believe, whatever I do, I will be judged by the results I produce. And as it is stated in “Unlimited Power” that there are no success or failure but results, what matters is whether the result is desired or not. Whatever I do, I will strive to get a result and evaluate it for conformance to what I expected to achieve and then adjust accordingly until I get what I want.

xii. Be Unreasonable:
Been unreasonable is saying that I should not accept status quo but question it even as Jonathan did in “Jonathan Livingston Seagull”. In the country where I come from, corruption is the order of the day. Either you join them or you are dealt with. When you act “good boy” and refuses to take or give bribe (there are various forms), you are judged to be unreasonable. But as it stands, before any progress can be made, someone need to be really unreasonable. I believe I am the person to do it.

xiii. Inspect What You Expect:
It was Socrates who said that “an unexamined life is not worth living”. This goes to say, when paraphrased with PMA that the life that is worth living is an examined life. Every servomechanism works with feedback to correct course until a goal is achieved. So also we humans must learn to work with feedback by inspecting what we have set out to do. By so doing, we will spot mistakes on time and take corrective actions. It is a good idea to even set review time to be daily. There should be an examination of the days’ works at the end of the day to determine whether we have achieved what we set out to achieve. If we did not, what lessons can be learnt that will be of benefit to us?

xiv. Celebrate Your Accomplishments:
This idea is specifically important to me because I am the type that always take things for granted or to be so simple. I believe that whatever I accomplish is so simple and easy that I do not deserve to be congratulated. I have even gone ahead to extend this attitude to other people such that no matter what others do, I see it as been simple and then not worth celebrating or appreciating. When I saw this it made me to recall that one of the best ways through which the human mind works is to remember past achievements or failures and then tries to duplicate it. Therefore, celebrating of my accomplishments no matter how small or big will cause my subconscious mind to always remember it and therefore duplicate it. It will also help to motivate and encourage me.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

The ideas I got in the book have even started paying off in my life. I have come to realise the best way to set and achieve goals by asking the six goal setting questions. Also the idea of celebrating my accomplishments will greatly assist me to have time out whenever I make any progress no matter how little. The idea of respecting reality and facing facts will help me not to over-simplify things in my plans but to note all real obstacles and address them instead of just assuming that they will take care of themselves.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“You can be wrong, but never be in doubt.”

– The above quote encourages me to be sincere and honest in my dealings with people. It teaches me to be convinced of whatever point of view I take in any issue and to communicate my view with all clarity. It teaches me of the importance of creating trust in every relationship.

“Denying reality, for any reason, leads only to stress and frustration and takes you away from your goals.”

– This tells me that another source of stress and frustration is denial of reality. Whenever I assume that things will work themselves out and they fail, I tend to be stressed because then I am not getting what I want and the direct consequence is frustration. If I must avoid stress and frustration, I must learn to be realistic in my plans and take care of every obstacle, and even have a contingent plan.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No, there is nothing I did not understand and all the ideas are clear to me.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Each of the four chapters contains end of chapter exercise and I performed all of them. The first exercise is a theoretical one while the other three are ways of eliciting one’s goals in life and charting a course towards their realisation. I found all of them helpful and they will also contribute to part of the exercises in level three.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

Although the book is good in itself (when read in isolation to other books in the curriculum), I would personally recommend that it should be replaced with another book, probably “What Are Your Goals? Powerful Questions to Discover What You Want Out of Life” (another book written by the same author), Goal Mapping or any other book. My reason was that most of the contents are already covered in greater detail in all the other books especially “Goals”, “Unlimited Power”, and “The Power of Intentions”.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

Leadership for Dummies
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the authors are trying to convey in the book is that anybody can acquire good leadership qualities that are based on teamwork and consensus by determination, study and practise.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:

i. The key leadership abilities – Responsibility, Elicit other’s Support, Listen and Place other’s needs above theirs:
ii. Creating a cohesive team:
iii. Coach a team to victory – Break goals down to a manageable size:
iv. The Part of Tens:
v. The advantage of team work over command work:
vi. There is no bad or unwilling followers but bad leaders:
vii. How to become a Persuasive figure – Stand for something that everyone wants but no one thinks is attainable:

The key leadership abilities
Responsibility, Elicit other’s Support, Listen and Place other’s needs above theirs: As someone who is interested in leading and helping others, I found these leadership qualities helpful in that it will help me to better lead those that I am leading and others that I intend to lead in the future. From this, I realised that for me to lead effectively I must be willing to accept responsibilities, able to elicit the support of those I’m leading by listening to them and then place their needs above mine. I can say that I have no problem with the first and last abilities. What I am working on with the help of Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins is how to elicit peoples support and with ideas in How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, and NVC by Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg, I am progressing in the habit of really listening to people with empathy.

ii. Creating a cohesive team:
Knowing that I need the help of others to achieve any worthwhile thing in life is not enough, the idea of how to create a team that will really work is very important to me. Humans tend to obey the law of inertia which states that a body will remain in its state of rest, refusing to move and if it is already in motion, will want to continue
moving unless it is acted upon by an external force. The leader of a team must recognise this fact and then try to be the external force that drives his team to victory. From my various leadership experiences, I have discovered this fact: any leader that fails to galvanise his team is surely going to burn himself out trying to meet up with deadlines. I remember the case of one coordinator of a committee set up to organise lectures in my community. Although he is the type that accepts responsibilities, but he lacked the ability to really listen to his followers and elicit their cooperation. This made it difficult for him to motivate the team. In the process, because he has accepted responsibility and wouldn’t want to fail, he had to do most of the activities alone with bitter complaint and stress. When I tried to explain to him that the failure of his team is mainly a failure on his part he insisted (characteristic of him not to listen and refusal to place other people’s needs above his) that the followers are not cooperative.

iii. Coach a team to victory
Break goals down to a manageable size: The idea of coaching a team to victory appeals to me specifically because of how it was explained. Any task that seems daunting is better broken down into its component parts. I have discovered over the years that no matter how complex a task or system may seem, it can be broken down into smaller component parts. This is the idea that appeals to me.

iv. The Part of Tens:
I find the ideas in the part of tens as the summary of the whole book. I love the three chapters (Ten mistakes leaders make, Ten Characteristics of Leaders and Ten Ways to Master Leadership Skills) in this part of the book. They are certainly a reference material for any leader or intending leader.

v. The advantage of team work over command work:
Even in this era of democracy and free will some leaders still lead by force. They believe that they have monopoly of knowledge and thus always want to have their ways at the expense of those they lead. This book outlines the advantages of using teams over that of commanding the followers on what to do and not do. For instance, a team work has a shared vision, responsibility, risk, and mission. Thus, the burden of piloting the team to success becomes a matter of collective responsibility and contribution. As it is said that when happiness is shared, it is multiplied and when sorrow is shared, it is divided or diminishes; so also, when responsibility is shared it is divided and the attainment of the goal becomes easier.

vi. There is no bad or unwilling followers but bad leaders:
This reminds me of the coordinator of a yearly lecture series organised by the elites in my community. He complained bitterly at the end of last years lectures that all those he was supposed to work with were not cooperative. But when I analysed his leadership qualities and approach I discovered that he is willing to accept responsibility but lacked the skill to listen to his followers and elicit their support.
He lacked the skill to bring out the best in those he is leading by motivating them and giving them direction. In the process, he ended up doing most of the tasks himself under stress. Also, when I recall what Anthony Robbins taught in “Unlimited Power” that most problems and misunderstanding between people is as a result of inability to communicate properly, I tend to believe that the fault of followers is really the fault of leaders in failing to properly communicate his ideas to his followers. Once a leader discovers what motivates his team members individually and collectively, he will surely drive them to success. The same applies to parents and children. There are actually no bad children but bad parents.

vii. How to become a Persuasive figure: Stand for something that
everyone wants but no one thinks is attainable: In the part of the world and country where I come from, there is this notion and belief that the education sector is decaying but no one thinks anything can be done to salvage it. This idea therefore reinforces my earlier determination to do something about it. I am one of those that believe that it can be salvaged. I have taken it upon myself to galvanise people of like mind to produce a change. I believe that by the adoption and modification of IIGL curriculum I will instill intellectual hunger in the youth that are looking for quick money at the expense of knowledge. I am also motivated to do something about the level of aimless living and dependence on miracles on the part of my people.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas are already helping me in assuming leadership position especially leading when I am not the leader. I employed the concept of leading when I am not a leader to steer the activities of a group that has been in existence for twenty one years without a clear cut vision and mission. They have always organised lectures every year for the past 21 years but have not pursued the issues raised at the lectures to a logical conclusion. I liken their activities to that of miners who only succeed in excavating gold and then leaving it behind in search of tin only to leave it in search of other minerals without collecting any eventually. When I got involved in the group, I made them to understand the need to have a structure and plan. With my insistence and motivation, the group has been able to have a board of trustees and an executive body in charge of the day to day running of the activities of the group. We are also in the process of having a constitution and registering the group as a cooperative society with defined objectives and plan of action. It is my plan to ensure that any issue that is raised at any lecture will be implemented to the fullest.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.”

– I am the type that sees joy and play in doing my work. I don’t complain even if others are not diligent in their duties. I believe that to work is to pray and play. Therefore, this quote gives me encouragement.

“The genius of a good leader is to leave behind him a situation which common sense, without the trace of genius, can deal with successfully.”

– I take this to heart in any group I find myself. Recently, I was the secretary of a committee that organised crusade in my community. We encountered lots of difficulties along the line being the first time such crusade is organised. It is my resolve to leave behind a comprehensive report that any one can pick up tomorrow and organize any level of crusade successfully without the difficulties we faced. I see that as being the mark of a good leader.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

“Don’t be afraid to use phrases such as ‘Now I’m going to show you why you are wrong,’ or ‘Now we will examine the truth.”

The above quote is from page 330 of the book. I believe the first quote “Now, I’m going to show you why you are wrong” should NEVER (emphasis) be used by a good leader or any body. This is because such statements are demoralising and de-motivating. No body wants to be directly told that he is wrong. Encouraging words, even in the face of apparent wrongness, is far better than outright condemnation. The second phrase “Now we will examine the truth” is the best phrase to be used by a good leader and even followers. It lets the person who is “wrong” to save his face. My personal experiences and what Carnegie advised in “How to Win Friends and Influence People” that we should never tell a man that he is wrong in his face is my reason for believing. And whoever tries it will confirm.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book contains some exercises and I performed them all. I also found them helpful.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

 

 

You Just Don’t Understand
Men and Women In Conversation
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is that there is a difference in the way man and women act and react to situations and circumstances in life. The understanding and appreciating of these differences, she maintained, will lead to more harmonious living between men and women.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. Women Value Intimacy/Connection as much as Men Value Independence/Status:

This idea explains to me the reason behind most of the habits and actions I observe in the life of my wife. It has been a source of disappointment and quarrel between us when she attempts to know what I do with every kobo I make. I sometimes see it that it is because she doesn’t trust my capacity to take decisions in respect of how I spend my money. I must say that the quotation below is applicable in our relationship. “Complementary schismogenesis commonly sets in when women and men have divergent sensitivities. For example, a man who fears losing freedom pull away at the first sign he interprets as an attempt to “control” him, but pulling away is a signal that sets off alarms for the woman who fears losing intimacy. Her attempts to get closer will aggravate his fear, and his reaction – pulling further away – will aggravate hers, and so on, in an ever widening spiral. Understanding each other’s styles, and the motives behind them, is the first move in breaking this destructive circuit.” This idea has certainly made me to understand and appreciate her reasons for such behaviours.

ii. Men and Women Act and React Differently to the Same Situation More Often:

Honestly speaking, it is liberating to learn that most of the habits or my actions/reactions to situations and my wife’s habits, actions/reactions to situations are not peculiar to either of us both a kind of universal inheritance that is innate in men and women. I am really relieved to know that, though my partners and friends like me in many ways, are not me, and different in other ways. I saw in my wife the confirmation of the comment made by one man in the book who said that many women wallow in their problems, wanting to talk about them forever, whereas he and other men want to get them out and be done with them either by finding a solution or by laughing them off. The comment is typical of my wife but in addition to her talking about it, she will be worrying about the problem always. Sometimes when I learn of her worries and try to tell her that situation is not so bleak, she will feel that I am not caring. She often says that I am not caring whenever I try to talk her out of any worries. Now I understand why she feels so. My approach seeks to assuage her feelings indirectly by attacking their cause; since she expects to have her feelings supported, my approach makes her feel that I am attacking her.

iii. Rapport-talk and Report-talk:

This idea will assist me in relating with men’s and women’s group in discussions. Knowing that women seek to establish rapport in their talks, I will adapt my style to accommodate theirs in my dealings with them. Also, when I am talking with men I will be as natural as possible in order for my style to blend with theirs. And when I am in a mixed group, I will strive to hold the attention of everyone by blending my styles occasionally to suit everyone.

iv. The Use of Gossip as a Social Control:

We often regard gossip as being entirely bad in itself. However, this book made me to understand that there is a good side of gossip. For instance, gossip could be used as a form of social control. There are some things I may want to do but when I think of how others will react to that, I may not do it. I say “may not” because I will not allow people’s gossip to stop me from doing what I know is good but when I am not sure if what I want to do is good or bad or when I know that what I am about doing is bad, if I remember that people will talk about it in their gossip, I will not do it. As the author puts its: “In trying to decide what to do, we automatically project contemplated actions onto the backdrop of this imagined dialogue, and our decisions about how to act are influenced by what we think others would say about them.”

v. The game women play is “Do you like me?” whereas the men play “Do you respect me?”

From the various comments and statement made by the author, I have really come understand what men and women really want in relationships, either social, business, or family. I decided to list all the statements that really touched me and taught me how best to relate with men and women in relationships. The men’s style is more literally focussed on the message level of talk, while the women’s is focussed on the relationship or the meta-message level. To a man who expects the listener to be quietly attentive, a woman giving a stream of feedback and support will seem to be talking too much for a listener. To a woman who expects a listener to be active and enthusiastic in showing interest, attention and support, a man who listens silently will seem not to be listening at all. “When I find a guy who asks, ‘How was your day?’ and really wants to know, I’m in heaven.” If recalling a detail or name is a sign of caring, failure to recall a name can be seen as a sign of lack of caring. The noticing of details shows caring and creates involvement, especially for women. Men however, find women’s involvement in details irritating. Conversely, many women complain that men don’t tell enough details. Habitual ways of talking are hard to change. Learning to respect others’ way of talking may be a bit easier. Men should accept that many women regard exchanging details about personal lives as a basic ingredient of intimacy, and women should accept that many men do not share this view. Mutual acceptance will at least prevent the pain of being told you are doing something wrong when you are only doing things your way.

vi. Men and women view being indirect in speech and request differently:

I really identify myself with the statement that “In so far as men perceive that someone is trying to get them to do something without coming out right and saying so, they feel manipulated and threatened by an enemy who is all the more sinister for refusing to come in the open.” Once I notice that my wife is requesting me to do something indirectly, I shrug. But now that I have understood that it is their way, I will strive to help. Something happened after I finished reading this book. when I was going out one evening I asked my wife what she would like me to buy for her and she said Nixoderm and banana. Unfortunately I didn’t hear when she said banana and I bought only Nixoderm. When I came back and she requested for what I bought for her and I handed her only Nixoderm she asked of the banana and I told her that I never heard her say that. She kept quiet. But later that evening she remarked “Daddy if you had bought the banana I would have loved to eat it now.” When she said that I understood that she actually wants me to go and buy the banana which I did. If it were not for the fact that I understood her to be indirectly asking me to go and buy the banana I wouldn’t have gone.

Quite the opposite, he regards being able to express disagreement as a sign of intimacy. … when someone takes a position, he feels he ought to help to explore it by trying to poke holes in it, and playing devil’s advocate for the opposing view. In all this, he feels he is being supportive, and in a way he is, but it is support modelled on an adversative stance – a stance that is more expected and appreciated by men than by women.

Women sometimes expect men’s approval before doing something because they value connection. This often led to accommodating what they don’t really want. But many years of accommodating builds up to mounting frustration that may lead to more serious problems. Actually, women and men tend to be indirect about different things.

vii. High-involvement speakers and High-considerateness speakers:

This idea makes me to understand that there are two broad categories of speakers. The high-involvement speakers are always involved whenever they are involved in a conversation while the high-considerateness speakers are always considerate of the others in a conversation. It is therefore my duty to identify which group I belong to and learn how to accommodate others. As a general rule, most women are high considerateness speakers while most men are high-involvement speakers.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

There is no doubt that the ideas will greatly help me in relating with my wife. In addition to that, they will also help me to relate with women generally especially in social gatherings.

We try to talk to each other honestly, but it seems at times that we are speaking different languages – or at least different genderlects. And this is also why my dad disappoints my mother when she tells him she doesn’t feel well and he offers to take her to see the doctor. He is focused on what he can do, whereas she wants sympathy. Many women could learn from men to accept some conflict and difference without seeing it as a threat to intimacy, and many men could learn from women to accept interdependence without seeing it as a threat to their freedom. If we did not do most things automatically, it would take massive concentration and energy to do anything. Knowing that there is marked difference in men’s and women’s perception of situations, I will employ the techniques taught by Anthony Robbins in Unlimited Power to adapt my styles to accommodate that of my wife and other women in general. But by becoming aware of our ways of talking and how effective they are, we can override our automatic impulses and adapt our habitual styles when they are not serving us well. The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation – or a relationship. Nothing hurts more than being told your intentions are bad when you know they are good, or being told you are doing something wrong when you’re just doing it your way.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“A man might ask a woman, ‘Will you please go to the store?’ where a woman might say, ‘Gee, I really need a few things from the store, but I’m so tired.’”

– As I commented in question 2, I have learnt this style employed by women. Some men also use indirect ways to make their request. I will strive to understand when I need to respond to such indirect requests.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

There are many issues I disagreed with the way the author stated them. I believed she was over generalising in the first place but when I read the “afterword”, I discovered that she corrected some of her over generalisations by stating that there are some exceptions to some of the rules.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

No, the book did not contain any exercise.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

How to Raise an Indigo Child
Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is that every child is unique and requires respect and attention in order to grow and become useful to himself and the society. There is the need for parents to understand that their actions and inactions form the operating instructions that shapes and control the life of their children.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. Every Child Requires Undivided Attention:

There is this general notion that a child is asking for attention when he is crying. I discovered from my little daughter that children court attention by all means. They can resort to crying, making noise or any action in an attempt to attract the parents’ attention. This book made me to understand that giving a child undivided attention helps in proper formation of the child. It makes the child to be more loving and emotionally balanced.

ii. When we watch and listen to our children or people in general with concentration, it will help us to discover the motive or intention behind our actions:

Every parent touts their desire of providing their children with care, attention and material things and honestly wants them to grow to become responsible adults and citizens. They believe that every one of their actions are guided from their motives providing their children with the best. However, it often happens that they are mistaken. Sometimes or even most times, our motives are shrouded because of lack of concentration as we relate to them. not only will we be able to discover and realign our intentions, it will also teach the child to be disciplined in the practise of concentration as children learn more by observation that by listening.

iii. The Operating Instruction of Children is Saved in Their Memory and Determines how a child responds to events in later years and parents are largely responsible in determining what these Operating Instructions will be:

It has been proven by research that a child’s environment has the greatest contribution to what the child becomes in life. The environment includes the influence of the parents and those around the child. What the child picks up from the environment will eventually be hardwired into the genes and neurons and unconsciously controls how the child will respond to events in the future. Knowing this has made me to be conscious of how I relate with my child and children to come. I am now conscious of what I do or don’t do in the presence of my daughter knowing that she is picking up my actions as a basis for hers I am amazed at how she learns by imitating those around her. When I recall most of my habits, I could trace them back to my childhood programming.

iv. Love My Child. Show him/her that I love him/her in a way he/she will understand:

This idea is important to me because I have learnt that love or emotion is the basis for our actions. Sometimes we may think that we act out of reason, but more often our reasons are influenced by the degree of our emotional attachment to the reason. Thus, a child who is brought up with the emotion of love will be a loving and lovely being.

v. The use of imagination or visualisation will help to guide the child to become creative and overcome peer pressure:

I cherish this idea because it will help me to train my child to become imaginative and creative. Instead of daydreaming how good and perfect our child will become, I will use imagination and visualisation to bring that into reality. this is because imagination is the root of creation.

vi. Breath and Emotional expression as a child:

“How we learn to express emotion as a child has a great deal to do with how our lives turn to fifty years later in life.” The above quote and idea is important to me because it made me to understand that emotional maturity or otherwise begins at the early stage of life. I am therefore empowered with the knowledge to shape my child’s emotional growth by consciously guiding her through my actions.

vii. Be willing to become conscious of how I was treated as a child:

Being conscious of how I was treated as a child has been guiding me in teaching my students and bringing up my own child. I try as much as possible to identify all self limiting treatments and strive to reverse them as I teach.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas have started helping me in the way I relate with my child and my house help. As a parent, we often compare our children with other children and try to make them behave like others. We sometimes overdo this by cajoling or even punishing them because they refuse to be “fakes” by living their own lives. These ideas have therefore made me to view my child as a unique being who was given to me as a gift to be nurtured by God. My duty is to help her to discover herself and not to be someone else. Whenever I am tempted to measure her up with the lives of her mates, I am reminded of her unique mission here on earth.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“I’m going to keep it as a reminder that it is okay when the students react emotionally. I just need to keep their best interest in mind and be honest.”

– As a teacher and educator, the above quote is very important to me because it will guide me in tolerating the emotional outbursts of my students.

“When the desire is present, the will is engaged.”

– Often we lack the will power to carry out our resolutions. We may think that we are not strong enough to carryon. The above quote made me to understand that the reason for lack of will power is lack of desire. Once I truly desire a thing, the will to execute it be engaged.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I do not fully agree with the author’s implied view (as she implied from her comments on Gatto’s book “Dumbing Us Down” that public schooling is bad. In as much as there are many things to be corrected in public schools, it cannot be totally written off in preference to home schooling. Whatever the public schools offer the students is invariably reinforced by the parents. If parents become more aware and attentive to their children, it will help to keep things in proper perspective.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

No, the book did not contain exercises for the reader but only ideas to be utilised as one wish.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 8
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8

 

 

The Biology of Belief
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is the fact that one’s belief controls his behaviour, state of mind and the functioning of the cells and all genetic inheritances. It is a scientific and biological way of explaining the ideas of James Allen as contained in his book “As a Man Thinketh.”

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. I am not stuck with my genes – neither are my children:

This idea reminds me of my habitual way defending myself whenever I do certain things. I used to console myself with the defence that “that’s my nature.” It has been my belief that “since that is the way I am made”, I cannot but continuously behave that way. Although I have learnt similar idea from the other books I have read so far, this one is another reminder that whatever I find myself doing or not doing anything, I should remember that I acquired such habits and can therefore unlearn them and relearn/acquire new and better ones. As a father, I have the challenge of training my children with the love and awe of God and to help them live out their purpose. Thus, this idea is a consolation and challenge that “my children’s genes reflect only their intellectual potential, not their destiny; it is up to me to provide the environment that allows them to develop to their highest potential.”

ii. What humans need is nurture in the form of love and the ability to observe older humans going about their everyday life – Play, not Programming is the key to Optimising the performance of infants and Children:

This idea will help me to devote quality time to play with my children and in so doing, help them to optimize their performance.

iii. Thoughts consume energy as surely as does marathon running:

This idea explains my earlier confusion and misunderstanding of one idea taught in “As a man Thinketh” that: “The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.” On further reflection on the various assertions made by the author, I can now understand how “the body is the servant of the mind. I have therefore taken it to heart to mind the kind of thoughts that I will harbour for optimum health

iv. The fact is that harnessing the power of your mind can be more effective than the drugs you have been programmed to believe you need:

Prior to my enrolment as a student of IIGL, I usually scorn those that hold this kind of belief. However, with my exposure to the various books in the IIGL curriculum, I have come to appreciate the real place of drugs in one’s life. It is not actually the drugs that heals or cures us but we are cured to the degree we believe that the drugs will cure us. When one considers the placebo effect, this idea will be of immense help to such a person.

v. The subconscious mind is fundamentally habitual; it will play the same behavioural responses to life’s signals over and over again, much to our chagrin:

This is a universal truth that we all struggle to make certain changes. Change is always difficult to make just because of the law of inertia, which is similar to habits. The best way to overcome any vice or to acquire any desired virtue is by conscious and constant practise and repetition. With the continuous repetition, the action becomes habitual and we find ourselves doing it effortlessly. “I believe the greatest problem we face is that we think we are running our lives with the wishes, desires, and aspirations created by our conscious mind. When we struggle or fail to obtain our goals, we are generally led to conclude that we are victims of outside forces preventing us from reaching our destination.”

vi. The actions of the subconscious mind are reflexive in nature and are not governed by reason or thinking:

This idea is similar to the previous idea. It is important to me because it explains to me why I do certain things against my wish or with unexplainable reason.

vii. When your conscious mind has a belief that is in conflict with a formerly learned “truth” stored in the subconscious mind, the intellectual conflict expresses itself as a weakening of the body’s muscles:

No one can truly deceive himself. No matter the level or amount of pep talks or positive affirmations we may repeat to ourselves, we can never deceive ourselves into believing or doing what we have failed to do in the past. That is why it is important for us to begin any acquisition of virtue by repeating little things that we are capable of doing. This is called going from the known to the unknown. By so doing, we will gradually replace the formerly learned “truth” stored in our subconscious mind.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Yes these ideas will help me to take control of my life and health by guiding the thoughts that I harbour in my mind.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Thought energy can activate or inhibit the cell’s function-producing proteins via the mechanics of constructive and destructive interference.”

I am aware that thought is a form of energy before now. However, the way the effect of such energy is explained in the above quote has made me to be more conscious of the kind of thoughts that I harbour so as to create a constructive interference.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No, there is nothing that I do not understand nor disagree with.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

No, the book did not contain exercises for the reader to complete

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

It is becoming clearer and clearer to me how thought affects every aspect of our lives. Everything that has existed or that will exist in the physical must first of all exist in one’s mind as a thought impulse. When such thought impulses are acted upon, it manifests in the physical. I have also discovered, through experience, since becoming a student of IIGL that the greatest problem we face on our way to living the kind of lives we dream of doing is not lack of thoughts but lack of active thought.

I wish to distinguish between active and passive thoughts. A passive thought is merely a wish while an active thought seeks expressions in doing. Once we engage in active thoughts, we will surely be guided towards the realisation of dreams. This is what is called prayer.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

 

 

Instead of Education

Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

John Holt is advocating for the abolishment of compulsory education marked by rewards/punishment and winner-loser labelling as practised in the conventional/formal educational institutions. He maintains that the best form of education should be what the individual freely chooses to learn.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:

i. People learn best by doing what they have interest in:

To truly make someone or even oneself to learn something, first awaken the desire or interest of the person in the material. Once interest is awakened, the person will put in everything possible in order to learn that.

ii. And so it must be the first and central task of any teacher to help the student become independent of him, to learn to be his own teacher:

This is my method of teaching. However, I discovered that most adults are so used to over-dependence on their teachers or instructors that they always think that to learn something new, someone must teach them. A good example is my wife. She always accuses me of not wanting to teach her Ms Excel Application all because I want to make her independent of me. She would want me to be there with her and guide her every move instead of exploring the programme herself. The same behaviour if applicable to those I teach computer packages in my business centre. They would want me to be there with them always even when I explain to them that the best way to learn computer is by actually using it and not to watch someone do it without practising. Because of this behaviour of most of my students, I sometimes get discouraged but John Holt’s admonishment has encouraged me to keep it up, especially for children who are inquisitive by nature.

iii. Before we can do the task in reality, we must be able to do it in our mind:

It is said that necessity is the mother of invention. Similarly, the father of invention is imagination. Nothing happens in reality until it is completed in the mind. Before we set out to do anything, we must first have an idea of what we want to do in our mind. The idea may not be so vivid at the beginning but once we take the first step, the next step must also appear in the mind before we can translate them to real actions. Thus, it is important that we lead children to be imaginative.

iv. We can trust children to find out about the world, and that when trusted, they do find out:

Because children are by nature inquisitive, when they are properly guided by adults, they learn whatever they want to learn better than what they are forced or coerced to learn. This will be a guiding principle as I teach my children.

v. Watching is an important activity; the child’s need to watch should be respected and he should not be distracted from his absorption in watching the others, or ‘stimulated’:

Most times we adults think that children learn what we tell them verbally but the reverse is the case. As we speak to them, they are watching our emotions and actions and that is what they pick. In trying to teach children, we should learn to give them room for observing things themselves.

vi. When adults are patient, trusting and forgiving with the children, in time the children become the same way with each other:

This reminds me of what Barbara Condron said in her book, “How to Raise an Indigo Child” of the need for parents to be patient and understanding with their children. The best way to teach anybody anything is by example. We learn most what we see (watch) than what we are told. Whenever our words are inconsistent with our actions, the people we are dealing with pick our actions as a yardstick.

vii. Forcing a child, or an adult, to obey against his will, can never make him moral:

This idea is important to me even as a father. Sometimes when my little child is demanding for what, to me, is not good for her; I would force her to give up her demands. However, from this idea, I reflected on when I am forced to obey against my wish and understood the effect of trying to make someone obey against his wish. As the author put it “most teachers, themselves trying to do whatever authority tells them, think that by making the child obey, they are making him moral. Instead, they are destroying whatever moral possibilities he may have”

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Yes, the ideas listed above will assist me as a teacher and father. In fact, I have started applying them in teaching my child and students.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“They want to learn about the world from us. What they learn, most of the time, is only that we adults pretend, keep secrets and tell lies. (page 25).”

– The above quote taken from page 25 is very true. We adults need to be careful how we respond to the inquisitiveness of the children under us. They are very clever and will pick the slightest form of deceit even beyond our imagination. The quote will help me to relate with children with an open mind.

“But a teacher, asking a student to do an easy task so that he may later do a harder one, must be careful not to be too rigid about this. If the student can’t hurt himself doing the harder task, let him try it if he wants.”

– This quote encourages me in my method of teaching. I don’t like wasting time with easy tasks but rather guide the student through applied problem solving. Once I have given my students the basics, I go straight to the real world application of the principles.

“People do many of the bad things, even the worst things, they do because they are taught and made to do them.”

– I agree with the above quote. Even though we are free to choose our responses, how we behave or respond is a function of the programming we have received. Unless we reprogram ourselves consciously, our actions and responses in life will be governed by what we are taught or learn unconsciously.

“Any child who can spend an hour or two a day, or more if he wants, with adults that he likes, who are interested in the world and like to talk about it, will on most days learn far more from their talks than he would learn in a week of S-chool.”

– It is surprising how people have been made to believe that it is only in schools that we learn better. This reminds me of my little daughter who completed two years October last year. Whenever she speaks audibly and intelligently people would ask if she had started school, implying that it is only in school that she can learn. I always correct them that what she does is what she is learning by watching and listening to adults and not what she is taught in school.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

“Only to the degree that people have what they want, that they are healthy and unafraid, that their lives are varied, interesting, meaningful, productive, joyous, can we begin to judge or even guess, their nature.”

I do not completely agree with the above quote taken from page 117. It is possible for two people to have the things listed and yet behave in two opposite manners. What to me is the true determinant for human nature are the belief patterns of the individual because we act in a manner consistent with our belief. Thus, someone with all or even more things that are listed above must always behave in a consistent manner to his habits or belief. We see children brought up in the same environment behaving differently.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

No, the book did not contain exercises.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No, I have commented on all point interesting to me.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

 

 

Three Books in One Volume
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book is a collection of three different titles. The first, “The Winning Attitude” is trying to portray the fact that attitude is everything – it (attitude) will either make or mar us. He therefore elucidated the steps to acquire the right attitudes in life. The second title, “Developing the Leaders Around You” centers on the principles essential for the development of leaders in any organization while the last title, “Becoming a Person of Influence” encourages one to be change agents.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:

i. It is Impossible for us to tailor-make all situations to fit our lives perfectly. But it is possible to tailor-make our attitudes to fit (page 28): We often complain that life doles out misfortunes to us and tend to succumb. On the contrary, everything that happens to us is for a purpose and it is our interpretation of the events that makes the difference. What determines how we interpret events in our lives if a function of our attitude. Because attitude is a learned behavior, we can cultivate the right attitude to respond favorably and positively to all circumstances. In other words, we can learn lessons from life events and chose the direction to move by cultivate requisite attitudes.

ii. Our attitude at the beginning of a task will affect its output more than anything else (page 36): This is because we can’t act against our self image. Our attitude is a reflection of our self-image. If we cultivate a healthy and ‘I can do it attitude’ at the beginning of a project, that attitude will see us through. The contrary is also true.

iii. When God wants to educate a man, He does not send him to the school of graces but to the school of necessities: Necessity, they say, is the mother of invention. It is in our moments of trouble that we raise or fall on the basis of our attitude. Learning how to view and interpret necessities is a sure way to succeed. Without identification of need, there can never be needs satisfaction and what helps us to identify needs are necessities or problems.

iv. First impression matters – Those things which we feel and accept at an early age have a tendency to hang on tenaciously even when we know better and desire to change. This statement is very true. It has been the only setback I have had and am still having. Even after what I have learnt so far in the course of my IIGL studies, I am still finding it difficult to say no to certain unimportant tasks that I involve myself in everyday even when I know that it cannot lead me to achieve my goals. The best way to change this hindering attitude is to consistently and persistently strive to cultivate the opposite belief.

v. There is no success without a successor – a leader’s success can be defined as the maximum utilisation of the abilities of those under him:

“m This idea is important to me because as a leader, both as a father, in the church and office, I am often tempted to do most things personally as a result of my perfectionist tendencies. However, the number of things I can do alone will never be compared to what I can accomplish with the help of those under me. I have therefore resolved to learn and apply the leadership qualities that will enable me effectively use those under me.

vi. Leaders are perpetual learners – a person can pay now and play later, or he can play now and pay later: In life, there are actually no reactions without action. That is, nothing happens until something moves. The idea of something for nothing is never a reality but just an illusion. There is consequence to every action or inaction. We can decide on the consequence by choosing the right action. Whatever a man sows is what he will reap.

vii. To develop positive, successful people, look for the gold, not the dirt: Personally, I am so critical that I always see the errors in what others have done that I fail to see the good. From the above idea, I discovered that the best way to develop positive and successful people is to praise their efforts. In mining for gold the miners usually dig pass the dirt before reaching the gold. In the same way, while dealing with people, we need to dig pass the mistakes to the real values in their actions. In so doing, we bring out the good in them.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas will and have started helping me in my personal life and in helping me to create a better world. For instance, in the area of bringing out the good in people, I have seen how do so ignoring their weaknesses and focusing on their strengths. Also in the area of leadership, I am developing a program for effectively harnessing the abilities of those under me instead of doing the whole thing alone.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it is the only thing. -Albert Schweitzer” Most times we believe that people, especially children, are interested in what we tell them, but on the contrary, what they see and understand better are the things we do. Therefore, change must begin from inside-out.

“The starting point of all achievement is drive, determination and desire, not natural talent.” Until a man wants something to point of obsession, he can never easily acquire it. But once he truly desires a thing and is determined, success is one hundred percent guaranteed.

“When it comes to discipline, people choose one of two things: the pain of discipline which comes from sacrifice and growth or the pain of regret which comes from easy road and missed opportunities – the pain of discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons.” This quote is true in my life as it is equally true in ever one’s life. It is therefore important for one to choose wisely which pain to bear.

“Examinations merely gauge progress; expectations promote progress.” When you are always examining what you or others do without expecting anything, progress will be stalled. It is like living a goalless life. When we expect to succeed, we will more often succeed than when we are bent on finding out the mistakes of the past alone.

“The man who lives for himself is a failure; the man who lives for others has achieved true success.” This quote encourages me to be more selfless in my dealings with others.

“When you believe in people, you motivate them and raise their potential – people always grow toward a leader’s expectations.” People will always try to measure up to how they are viewed in life. If they know you expect them to succeed, they will live up to your expectations and if they know you expect them to fail, they will equally live up to your expectations.

“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” It is like washing one’s hands. It will be difficult, if not impossible, for your two hands to be washed clean without one helping the other. In the same way, when you strive to help others, you are helped in the process.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book contains exercises and I am still doing them. I just read through the whole book and now am going through it slowly while doing the exercises.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No, all is already taken care of.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

How to Raise an Indigo Child

Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is that every child is unique and requires respect and attention in order to grow and become useful to himself and the society. There is the need for parents to understand that their actions and inactions form the operating instructions that shapes and control the life of their children.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:

i. Every Child Requires Undivided Attention:

There is this general notion that a child is asking for attention when he is crying. I discovered from my little daughter that children court attention by all means. They can resort to crying, making noise or any action in an attempt to attract the parents’ attention. This book made me to understand that giving a child undivided attention helps in proper formation of the child. It makes the child to be more loving and emotionally balanced.

ii. When we watch and listen to our children or people in general with concentration, it will help us to discover the motive or intention behind our actions:

Every parent touts their desire of providing their children with care, attention and material things and honestly wants them to grow to become responsible adults and citizens. They believe that every of their actions are guided from their motives providing their children with the best. However, it often happens that they are mistaken. Sometimes or even most times, our motives are shrouded because of lack of concentration as we relate to them. not only will we be able to discover and realign our intentions, it will also teach the child to be disciplined in the practise of concentration as children learn more by observation that by listening.

iii. The Operating Instruction of Children is Saved in Their Memory and Determines how a child responds to events in later years and parents are largely responsible in determining what these Operating Instructions will be:

It has been proven by research that a child’s environment has the greatest contribution to what the child becomes in life. The environment includes the influence of the parents and those around the child. What the child picks up from the environment will eventually be hardwired into the genes and neurons and unconsciously controls how the child will respond to events in the future. Knowing this has made me to be conscious of how I relate with my child and children to come. I am now conscious of what I do or don’t do in the presence of my daughter knowing that she is picking up my actions as a basis for hers I am amazed at how she learns by imitating those around her. When I recall most of my habits, I could trace them back to my childhood programming.

iv. Love My Child. Show him/her that I love him/her in a way he/she will understand:

This idea is important to me because I have learnt that love or emotion is the basis for our actions. Sometimes we may think that we act out of reason, but more often our reasons are influenced by the degree of our emotional attachment to the reason. Thus, a child who is brought up with the emotion of love will be a loving and lovely being.

v. The use of imagination or visualisation will help to guide the child to become creative and overcome peer pressure:

I cherish this idea because it will help me to train my child to become imaginative and creative. Instead of daydreaming how good and perfect our child will become, I will use imagination and visualisation to bring that into reality. this is because imagination is the root of creation.

vi. Breath and Emotional expression as a child:

“How we learn to express emotion as a child has a great deal to do with how our lives turn to fifty years later in life.” The above quote and idea is important to me because it made me to understand that emotional maturity or otherwise begins at the early stage of life. I am therefore empowered with the knowledge to shape my child’s emotional growth by consciously guiding her through my actions.

vii. Be willing to become conscious of how I was treated as a child:

Being conscious of how I was treated as a child has been guiding me in teaching my students and bringing up my own child. I try as much as possible to identify all self limiting treatments and strive to reverse them as I teach.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas have started helping me in the way I relate with my child and my house help. As a parent, we often compare our children with other children and try to make them behave like others. We sometimes overdo this by cajoling or even punishing them because they refuse to be “fakes” by living their own lives. These ideas have therefore made me to view my child as a unique being who was given to me as a gift to be nurtured by God. My duty is to help her to discover herself and not to be someone else. Whenever I am tempted to measure her up with the lives of her mates, I am reminded of her unique mission here on earth.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“I’m going to keep it as a reminder that it is okay when the students react emotionally. I just need to keep their best interest in mind and be honest.” As a teacher and educator, the above quote is very important to me because it will guide me in tolerating the emotional outbursts of my students.

“When the desire is present, the will is engaged.” Often we lack the will power to carry out our resolutions. We may think that we are not strong enough to carryon. The above quote made me to understand that the reason for lack of will power is lack of desire. Once I truly desire a thing, the will to execute it be engaged.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I do not fully agree with the author’s implied view (as she implied from her comments on Gatto’s book “Dumbing Us Down” that public schooling is bad. In as much as there are many things to be corrected in public schools, it cannot be totally written off in preference to home schooling. Whatever the public schools offer the students is invariably reinforced by the parents. If parents become more aware and attentive to their children, it will help to keep things in proper perspective.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

No, the book did not contain exercises for the reader but only ideas to be utilised as one wish.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 8
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8

 

 

Thinking Allowed

Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book is a collection of interviews which centers on various leading edge knowledge such as Mind/Brain Consciousness, Achievement, Psychology, Living and Dying, Spiritual Development, Personal Growth and Achievement. The interviews contain many eye opening and mind bogging ideas that are sometimes controversial and/or considered classified.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:

viii. Wherever Attention goes, Energy Flows:

The central theme that has been consistent in all the books I have read so far during the course of my IIGL studies is the relationship between thought and reality. Beginning from “AS a Man Thinketh” by James Allen to the present book, “Thinking Allowed”, all the authors have maintained that we are product of our thoughts and that we a responsible for what happens to us. I recall what two of my friends said to me in the past about reading self help and motivational books. They maintained that all the books are the same and that reading any book will never make any difference in ones life. I knew inside me that they are far from the truth. I know that it is either the authors are copying each other or that what they state is a fact. When I relate this recurrent theme to what Jesus Christ said in Matthew Chapter 15 verses 16 to 19: So Jesus said, ‘Are you also still without understanding? … But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies’, and my personal experiences, I discovered that we are truly product of our thoughts. It is either we are made or unmade by our thoughts. Whatever we focus our attention upon must surely become our reality.

ix. The emotion of anger is natural and should not be let out on others:

The idea of anger been natural is also captured in the Bible where Jesus admonished his followers not allow their anger lead them into sin. Our anger will lead us into sin when we vent it on others. But if we understand that it is natural to be angry and that anger serves the purpose of leading us to our goals, we will realise that it is within our powers to control the anger. In the past, I used to believe that it is people that cause me to be angry. But in the cause of my IIGL studies, I have come to realise that my anger is caused by my standards and principle in life. Hence, whenever I am angry I try to understand which principle of mine that has been violated and seek for a way to meet it.

x. To Understand an Idea, You have to Experience It:

The intellect functions well when it feeds on deep, true experiences. It is only through experiences that deep knowledge is acquired and sustained. When we experience something, we literally become that thing. The same is true in learning; we learn better when we practise.

xi. Insofar as we expose ourselves to opinions that challenge our own at every level, I suppose this is how we dislodge our habitual patterns.

This is especially true in my life. I recall when I read the first book in IIGL studies, “As a Man Thinketh”. Then I disputed a statement that suggests that “Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the Law of his being. The sole and supreme use of suffering is to purify, to burn out all that is useless and impure.” I can say that exposing myself to various ideas in the cause of my studies, I have dislodged the belief.

.

xii. Mythology is the essence of life:

Mythology could be defined as a collection of the beliefs, experiences and lessons which are passed from generation to generation. Without the dissemination of these experiences, we may need to re-invent the wheel in each generation. Hence, it is the duty of each generation to examine the myths which have been passed down to them and apply them in the light of their present circumstances and experiences. In essence, we can never do without myths. As a typical Nigerian from the Igbo extraction, there are many myths which have been passed down from our ancestors. Some of these myths have no scientific proof but when they are related to some western myths which have scientific proof, one understands the wisdom behind the myths.

dxiii. The idea of accepting responsibility for what we do:

This idea rings a bell in my ear and goes to support my earlier opinion that we are responsible (responsible meaning response-ability). We are free to choose how to respond to what happens to us. When we accept responsibility, it will help us to change in the future but if we continue to blame other or external circumstances, we will continue to err. In the past, I use to blame my upbringing as been responsible for my inability to socialise. But as soon as I realise that it is my responsibility to choose what happens to me, things started changing for the better.

xiv. The way we communicate with people could affect the way they express themselves:

Most of the times we expect our loved ones to read our minds and when they don’t, we conclude that they do not love us. This attitude is sometimes passed onto other people generally. However, this idea made me to understand that the problem that occurs most often is the way we communicate. When we fail to communicate in a clear, lucid manner, we leave the other person no option than to guess and collective experiences have shown that 99% of the time, we are misinterpreted. Therefore, to avoid ambiguities and misunderstandings, we must learn to be direct in our communications.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas will and have started helping me in my personal life and in helping me to create a better world. For instance, the idea that wherever attention goes energy flows has made me to focus my attention on the things I want in life and not the things I don’t want. Also, the idea that the way we treat people will affect the way they express themselves has made me to always request my child to be clear in what she wants. This will enable her not to expect people to read her mind.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“What employers want: to be kind, fun to be around and competent” The above quote made me understand the core qualities required for good human relation and job success.

“I project on you what I will not accept for myself.” With idea contained in the above quote, any time I complain anything about someone, I will look inward to see how I am also guilty of the same thing. This is another way of saying that what we experience is what we are inside.

“Human life begins on the far side of despair.” Truly, difficulties or despair do not break a man, it reveals what a man is inside. It is mainly through despair and suffering that we discover who we are.

“A whole raft of recent studies has shown that fully ninety-five percent of all learning and memory that the brain lays down in that neural patterning takes place beneath conscious awareness; all of our teaching can only result to about five percent.” The above quote reminds me that my children’s development depends more on what I do or don’t do more than on what I say.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

There are no specific exercises in the book but most of the ideas are food for thought which one will practise to fully understand them.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

I wish to add that the collections of interviews are really worth reading by all. It is highly recommended to all those seeking for knowledge.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

 

 

My Own Worst Enemy
Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is that we are often responsible for our failures in life by the way we respond to the inner voices that within us. Thus by changing the way we talk to ourselves and by realizing that we are meant to shine, we can stand straight to cooperate with God in demanding and obtaining what we need.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:

i. Sin of Omission:
Oftentimes we are concerned with the things we did wrong without considering the right things we failed to do. When looked at critically, we will discover that what keeps us from becoming what we want to become is not what we did wrong but what we failed to do. It is said that he who fails to try has already failed. Thus, it is imperative that we consider and resolve to try out whatever our mind prompts us to try. Everything that is worthwhile in life is not easy at first attempt. It requires trying before we can say for sure that is beneficial.

ii. Working for God through service to humanity:
This has been my motto right from my high school days. I have always desired to serve. I believe that, as a Christian, the only way I can work for God is by rendering selfless service to my fellow human beings. Man is a social being and only thrives in community. Service to humanity is the only way through which we can earn our living and live our earning.

iii. What will be will be. Either through me or someone else:
Some people believe that what is destined to be will be while some do not believe. As Mordecai told Esther: “Then Mordecai sent this answer back to Esther: Do not have the idea that you in the king’s house will be safe from the fate of all the Jews. If at this time you say nothing, then help and salvation will come to the Jews from some other place, but you and your father’s family will come to destruction: and who is to say that you have not come to the kingdom even for such a time as this?” Whatever may be one’s belief in respect of destiny, what is worthy of note is that the universe has been ordered by the creator and everything is happening according to plan. Each person has something to contribute for the good of the universe and whatever we do comes back to us. If we fail to act for the general good, someone else will do and our inaction will bring our undoing.

iv. We project unto others what we feel inside us:
As IIGL student and hence a mediator, I should realise that what people manifest in the physical word is a reflection of what is deep within them. If one is vulnerable inside he/she would manifest that state of being by trying to act defensively. Thus it is with the woman: “It seems that the smaller she could make him, the safer she would feel” knowing this, we should always act like Jesus whenever the people we are working with attacks us with bitter words: “Rather than taking on this criticism, he listened to the message it offered him about the woman who spoke it … he did not react to her contempt; he responded to her hurting heart. He saw thirst and steadfastly offered it.” We should be in the lookout for thirst and try to quench it.

v. Speak my perspective and questions with clarity and alacrity:
He would not tolerate another minute of bondage. What a holy impatience. The above idea encourages me to act swiftly in the midst of unwanted circumstances and suffering instead of being docile.

vi. Our penchant for playing small can sabotage our growth and our calling to shine:
We often fail to shine with the false belief that doing so will be showing off. However, the above idea made me to realise that it rather gives others the permission to shine as well. Our shining and excelling will not stop others from shining but will only encourage them to do the same.

vii. You will get where you are going by remembering who you are:
For one to get where he is going he must know where he is coming from. We can only know where we are coming from by knowing who we are. I remember those days in school, whenever I have any difficulty and I remember my family background (knowing who I am), I summon courage to forge ahead and achieve my goal of graduating with a very good grade.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Yes the ideas are already helping me in the way talk to myself. I have come to realize that the only person keeping me from excelling is me.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“We pour concrete around all that is good (or bad), including our souls, and turn the living into the dead. Thus we sabotage the unseeable and brilliant goodness God has imagined for us.”

The above quote encourages me to be flexible and to realise that God acts in many different ways. I must not fix my mind on one thing with the exclusion of other possibilities.

“Tragically, we choose to secure our belonging through conformity and compliance rather than daring authenticity, diversity, and trust. We sabotage our creativity.”

Trying to be compliant and always conforming our actions to the status quo will only limit our progress. We should be open to trying new things as new ideas come to mind.

“our made-in-the-image-of-God personhood is day by day, bit by bit, surrendered to a dull and infertile existence, a far cry from the abundant life to which we are called.”

By refusing to meditate and act on the inspirations we get there from, we often limit ourselves and live a life of infertility. We should be daring and exploratory.

“If we will relax into grief, it will hurt less and bring us closer and closer to the new life we so long to experience. Ironically, it is the resistance of such pain not the experience of it that sabotages our growth and prolongs the process.”

People resort to drug abuse in often to run away from their grief and problems without realising that if they dwell long in the grief, it will awaken a strong urge to fight back.

“Sensitivity to others is good, but when it stifles opportunities for shared celebration and we end up stuffing our joy to the point of damaging our own souls, something has gone wrong.”

Learning to be sensitive as well as demanding for an opportunity to be happy is a habit I have struggled to acquire. Thus, the above quote made me to understand that it is a sign that something has gone wrong. I have to learn to say no when saying yes will hurt me.

“Shame isolates. When we elect isolation, we are almost always sabotaging our own healing. Authentic connection heals.”

When we feel shame, the best action is not to condemn ourselves but to move out and meet others with the hope of healing the same.

“The best antidote for shame is authentic relationship.”

Whenever we notice that someone is battling with shame and guilt, the best way to help is by establishing an authentic relationship with such person.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No. everything is clear

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book contains exercises. I completed the ones I found interesting and they where helpful.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No. Everything has been taken care of

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

 

 

The Invisible Path to Success
Assessment by Kennedy J. Offor (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

In life, we respond to events around us in consonance with our inner or unconscious desires. Whatever happens to us is determined by the way we communicate with the rest of the universe. The author observes that in the light of the fact that we can’t be certain of what is good or bad for us consciously, we should make effort to experiment and use what works for us. Thus, we are to determine what happens to us by changing our inner conversions (or ads) to the universe.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:

i. Let go of opinions and use what works for me.

Man’s life is often lived in reaction to what people said or what we expect them to say. Thus, it happens that we are not really free as we were made to understand sometimes but captives of people’s thoughts and opinions. For me to be truly free and happy/successful, I must let go of opinions and experiment to find out what works for me. In using what works for me, I must be aware and conscious of other people’s right. Thus, whatever I intend to explore must not in any way limit other people’s freedom.

ii. What goes on inside of me is more important than what goes on outside.

Everything is created twice; first in the mind as a thought and second in reality as a thing. Knowing this, I should pay more attention to the thoughts I think rather than what is happening around me. For whatever happens around and to me is what I created first in my thought and they are interpreted based on what is going on inside of me.

iii. Take charge of my life by turning off the cruise control.

The cruise control here is the habits (otherwise called programming) that determines how I respond to events that occur around me. For me to truly turn off the cruise control requires unlearning some old habits and relearning new ones. From my experience, it is easier said than done. I have known this since I started the IIGL courses about three years ago. Intellectually, I know what I should do, but for me to do those things becomes a problem. All these have been happening because the cruise control is still on. I am still being unconsciously controlled by my habits. The only way I can turn off the unconscious control is by enlisting the support of others either by forming a mastermind group or by having a mentor. What I have resolved to do is to have a mentor. With the help of my chosen mentor, we will meet regularly to strategize and unlearn/relearn new habits in place of the old.

iv. Other people are willing and can help me to achieve whatever I want if I can “reach out and touch someone – and they will take whatever I say or think literally.”

When the writer of the Bible book of Timothy said that we pray and don’t receive what we ask for because we pray amiss, he was referring to our thought and words. Whenever our words or thoughts are in disagreement with our core beliefs, what we receive is what we believe and not what we ask for. This reminds me of what Jesus Christ also said in the Bible that if we pray and believe, we shall receive what we ask for. Thus, in order to ask the help others, I must be specific as to what I want and ask. My experiences have also shown me that man is not an island but requires the help of other people to achieve whatever he set out to do. This is why I have resolved especially in getting a mentor who will help me to unlearn habits that are no longer serving me.

v. I have continued to repeat the same patterns because of the unconscious communication that goes on inside of me.

These internal communications are usually automatic without my knowing. In order to modify the communications to serve my conscious purpose, I have resolved to enlist the help of a mentor. We shall meet regularly face to face (at least once in a month) and over the telephone (at least once every two days) to chart a course on how to unlearn these habits.

A large percentage of my outer experiences are created by my unconscious mind running or responding to ads on my behalf – if the ad is in alignment with my purpose, I receive what I want, else, I won’t receive it.

Thus, I always get a vote but I don’t always win the election. To win the election, I must learn to make my ads to be in alignment with my purpose (that is being specific). This can only be made possible through prayer and meditation.

vii. How to ask for what I want by applying the twelve guidelines.

I have discovered that the twelve guidelines are similar to what we are thought as Christians about praying and receiving. From the guidelines and notes that follow, I recalled that God is for us and therefore no one can be against me. Everything works for good for those that love God.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas will help me in adopting a new way of praying with the help of a mentor who is a Reverent Father of the Catholic Church. With his help and applying the guidelines for asking and receiving, I believe my prayer life will be better than what it used to be. Also, I hope to unlearn some habits that are no longer serving my best interest.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Let each man examine his thoughts, and he will find them all occupied with the past and the future. We scarcely ever think of the present, and if we think of it, it is only to take light from it to arrange the future. So we never live, but we hope to live; and, as we are always preparing to be happy, it is inevitable we should never be so.” – Pascal

This quote rightly describes my philosophy about life. I always believe in suffering myself presently in order to enjoy later. But by examining my thoughts and actions for the past couple of years, I discovered that I am always postponing my happiness in certain things. I have therefore resolved to live in the present. The future will take care of itself even as Jesus Christ said in the book of Matthew.

“There are no victims, no matter how it looks or what people say. If you factor out death, pain, or accidents as bad, and factor in choice, purpose, or desire to explore because it interests someone (even if it doesn’t interest you), things can look quite different.” – Robert Scheinfeld

I am coming to see life in this perspective. There is actually no “accidents” but rather everything is happening as God allows them to happen. There is nothing that happens without God’s consent. God may not approve such events, but He allows it for a purpose.
“Nothing is allowed to come into my life and have an impact on me unless it is arranged and allowed by God.

That is what the Bible said in Romans chapter 8 verse 28. Hearing this from another source in another way reinforces my belief and faith in God that my life is ordered.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No. everything is agreement with view about life.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book contains exercises. The ones I found most helpful is the guidelines on how to ask and receive what I want. I am still using the exercises and hope to make it better by enlisting the support of a mentor for sustainability.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

There is nothing else. All is taken care of in the preceding questions.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

Communication Miracles for Couples

Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book is the need for couples and indeed everyone to adopt structured communication techniques. The author made me to understand that virtually all problems are as a result of unintended messages passed through communication. We can learn to obtain the happiness we want in our relationships by focusing on our core and inner yearnings rather than on prejudiced information we are getting in communication.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas that are personally important to me are:

i. Acknowledge, Appreciate and Accept:

These three words are really magical when used always in the right way. I personally asked my wife what I am not doing well and what she would want me to do often and she said I should learn to care. When I probed further on the specific things I should do to show I am caring she said I should appreciate her always both in words and actions. She specifically requested that I should learn to look at her always and know when she is wearing a new dress/hair and appreciate her. I wouldn’t have asked her such question if not for the exercise in the book that is related to the three words above. Ever since she told me that, I have been practising to perfect the habit acknowledging, appreciating and accepting her. This has contributed to more loving relationships.

ii. Charming my wife with words of affirmation:

The perception of each party in every relationship in the past defines and determines how each party will act and react towards the other party in the present future. Thus, it is important for one to be aware of this fact and consciously strive to make good impression. When we affirm and magnify the good side of our partner, we are making a good deposit in the present which we can spend in the future. I have personally discovered that people unconsciously decide to respond to the request of a partner based on their perception of that partner in the past.

iii. When we insist on being right, everything we say will come out wrong:

When we insist on being right in argument, we will try to justify our views and in doing so, we often say words that hurt the other person. I can remember many hurting words I have used against my wife during arguments in the past which I regret now. I was trying to defend my view and that made me to be unconscious and unreasonable. And even when we eventually win the argument against the other person, we have not really won that person over to our side. As Dale Carnegie said in his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People that, “a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” The best way to settle a misunderstanding is to first seek to understand then to be understood. In so doing, we will not always insist on being right.

iv. Speaking the vulnerable truth:

When we let ourselves be vulnerable with our partner and show her how we feel and what we want, the level of intimacy we feel rises. I must confess that this is not always true but more often than not, it works like real miracle. Revealing our vulnerability actually lowers resistance and builds acceptance. When we no longer expect our partner to know what we want but tell them what we want, it reduces a lot of guess work and builds more loving relationship.

v. Creating Love beyond words – Smile, Mirror, and touch:

Mirroring someone is what we do unconsciously most of the time. When people around us are happy, we tend to be happy and when they are sad, we tend to be sad. We can make conscious effort of smiling to our partners always. When we do, they will unconsciously mirror our state. The idea of touching our partner in a loving, non-sexual-demanding way is another way of telling them we care.

vi. Define and share your rules for lasting harmony:

It is very necessary and important for spouses to pre-define and share their values for there to be a lasting harmony. When I know what my wife wants and what she doesn’t like, it will make me to understand when she behaves in certain ways. I remember when we were newly married. We always quarrel at least once every week for the first one or two years just because of the way I spend money. She believes I am not prudent because I can use my last kobo to help a friend in need. It is not that she doesn’t like helping people but she insists that I must satisfy her first. When we finally discussed our values together, the number of quarrels caused by money has reduced drastically

vii. Argument and blame leads to nowhere, avoid them:

When I read this, I recalled the number of times someone blamed me for what I did or did not do and how I tried to justify myself. I then realised that when I blame others, I am actually working against myself because that person will like to justify himself/herself. The best way of ending and winning any argument is to accept the other person’s point of view. In so doing, we disarm the person.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas are already helping me. The number of misunderstanding between my wife and I has decreased drastically since I read this book. I have asked her to study the book with me so that we can better internalize the ideas and make them habits. For instance, with idea of finding out what charms my wife, I have discovered that she wants me to always look at her and admire her by appreciating what she is wearing and also petting her by touching. Because I am not used to doing it, I have been learning and practicing it for some time now and I am improving in it.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“What really tears partners apart is blame or the insistence of being right and making one’s partner wrong.”

How can use be together when you always disagree and insist on winning every argument? Whenever we win any argument against our partner, we have wounded their ego and they will always fight back.

“He who excuses himself, accuses himself.”

Accept responsibility for whatever you did and you will be excused by others.

“Being heard is healing, and the more you invest in hearing your partner, the more likely she will take the time to fully listen to you.”

We always believe that we are right and would demand to be heard but would not like to hear others out. Whatever we sow, that we will reap. If we know and want to be heard, we must learn to listen and hear others.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book contains exercises and I have completed some. I am working on the remaining exercises on daily basis until I can achieve over 95% results from the book.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

I would like to add that the ideas contained in the book are really worth bringing to the knowledge of all couples and intending couples. I have personally decided to be involved in preparation of couples in my local church in order to bring the teachings of this book to them. One couple I taught last expressed gratitude on how the ideas have helped them.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

40 Day Prosperity Plan

Assessment by Offor Kennedy J. (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

Money is good in the life of every human being. The consciousness that produces money is that of acknowledging that God is our supply. When we focus on money, it will elude us but when we focus on the source of money, we receive it in abundance. It takes forty consecutive days of conscious effort to internalize the habit of always looking up to God as my source.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

I am beginning to realize that I am an extension of God. To the degree to which I acknowledge that I deserve everything I want, to that degree will I receive it. God is the source of all wealth I will ever want. The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof. I am an image of God, therefore I have all that I want.

The spirit of God within me is in control of my thoughts. He is the ultimate source of all that I have and will ever have. There is no better knowledge that the fact that I am complete.

iii. My soul is the direct expression of this mastermind I am, and the purpose of my soul is to be conscious, to be aware, to understand and to know that the divine presence I am is the source and substance of all my good.

The only thing required of me is to be aware and always conscious that the spirit of God is my lavish abundance. All my supply flows from God and not just from what I do. I can toil and labor as much as I want, but the only time I get what want/need is when I allow God to act.

I have realized that the spirit of God within me is my supply. He always supplies all my needs according to the degree I allow him to. As a Christian, I have been taught that nothing that goes into a man defiles him, rather it is what comes out of him that defiles him. The corollary is also true – It is what comes from within me that makes me rich or poor. Thus, it is imperative that I structure what happens within me and what comes out of me.

v. Money is not my supply. No person place or condition is my supply. My awareness, understanding and the knowledge of the all providing activity of the divine mind within me is my supply. My consciousness of this truth is unlimited, therefore my supply is unlimited.

All my supply comes from God. My soul be still and know that the Lord my God is good all the time. I have this personal affirmation to add: God is my infinite supply, and large sums of money come to me quickly and easily through Alliance in Motion Global and other services I render for the highest good of all concerned. I am happily and easily earning, giving, saving, and investing thirteen million naira (N13,000,000.00) monthly for the happiness and salvation of my fellow men.

vi. My inner supply instantly and constantly takes on form and experience according to my need and desire. Therefore as the principle of supply and action it is impossible for me to have any needs or unfulfilled desires.

I am relaxed as I allow the spirit of God within me to me and bring into my life lucky opportunities. Although I have always have my needs met most of the time, I sometimes have needs that seems to defile all efforts. This makes me to want to lose faith. With this idea, I am assured once again that God is constantly at work in my life. There is time for everything and once it is the right time, all my needs and desired will be fulfilled.

vii. I keep my minds and thought off this world and I place my entire focus on God within as the only cause of my prosperity. I acknowledge the inner presence as the only activity in my financial affairs, as the substance of all things visible and I place my faith in the principle of abundance and action within me now.

God has blessed all my efforts. It is God that supplies all my needs. I have always believed that most of my success depends solely on my efforts. This has made me to neglect prayers sometimes because “I am busy.” This particular idea has been difficult for me to adopt always. Even after resolving on several occasions to always commend all my plans and efforts to God, with total resignation to His Grace, I often see myself resorting to the old habit of not being “conscious” of this fact. As I type this sentence, I am making a firm resolution to write out this statement and paste it over opposite my reading table, as a screen saver on my computer, phone and even in my car.

3. Will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas have started helping to shift my attention and energy to my efforts and focus them on God. I am beginning to understand that it is the will of God for me to be wealthy. In the past is used to be afraid of making money thinking that rich people are evil and that money is the root of all evil. Now I have understood better. I now know that I deserve to be wealthy. I am working towards making this a reality. The work meant here is the patient waiting on God to bless the works of my hand. I wait on the Lord to direct and lead into my life, ideas, events and situations that will bring me the greatest wealth I can think of.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Wealth is result of consciousness, not the cause of it.”

This quote reminds me what the Bible says that God will supply all my needs according to his riches in glory. It also reminded me of what is written in the book of James that I receive whatever I ask for if I believe and ask with good intentions and great expectancy.

“I place my entire focus on God as the only source of my prosperity.”

I have found the secret of life and wealth and I relax in the knowledge that the activity of divine abundance is eternally operating in my life and affairs. I simply have to be aware and allow God. It does not matter the number of times I have failed in the past. The important now is that I look up to God always as “the only source of my prosperity”. From this day: August 20, 2015 I place my entire focus on God. And I know I will not be disappointed. By this time next year, I will look back and sing “Halleluiah aaaaaaaaaaa”. In Jesus Name. Amen.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book contains exercises and I completed them. However, discovered that I did not carry it out as directed because I have not manifested the kind of money I expected. I have resolved to repeat the exercise again, and this time to be more committed.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

None.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9