Sunday Abidemi Obarinu – Assessments

As A Man Thinketh
Assessment by Obarinu Sunday Abidemi (Nigeria)

1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples.

The following are the ideals that I learnt:

* Man is the master of thoughts and thoughts produce the action of the man which makes his character: I understand from this point that man is endowed with the will to choose. Man at birth is given a level ground to play the game of life. I understand this to mean that I am responsible for the thoughts that I permit or nourish in my heart and that the thought will either produce a God-like character in me or a devil-like character.

* Our thoughts lead us to our different circumstances in life. I understand this to men that my thoughts will generally attract circumstances that are align to it. This means that if I entertain positive and right thoughts this will generally attract circumstances or state of being that is positive and right. I understand I get what I deserve in life, but being dissatisfied I can alter my thoughts positively and promote right thoughts that could lead me to my desired state and this being done will surely lead me to my desired circumstances.

* Thoughts are connected to my state of health. The quality of my thought will also determine the quality of health that will be mirrored back to me by life: This I construe to mean that health promoting thoughts such as selflessness, goodwill, serenity and self control and discipline will produce health promoting characters such as faith, serenity and calmness of soul which will produce a strong, bright and happy body.

* Thoughts when directed to a particular purpose or dream become a propelling creative force within the soul gently but surely pushing the harborer towards the dreamt destination: I understand this to mean that I only need to define my goals or purposes in life and propel my thoughts towards achieving them and conquering doubt and fear I can go all the way with patience

* Above all I need serenity in order for me both to create calmness and joy for others and for myself.

* Thought is power, like a nuclear reactor generating tremendous energy, it can be channelled towards a positive use for mankind and its environment or channelled towards a negative use for the destruction of man and its environment.By thoughts men are made what they are; priests, missionaries, leaders,different professionals, freedom fighters, activists, professors, terrorists, suicide bombers, e.t.c.

* Just like a statement I heard someone say at one time, ” Children will become what the parent expose their mind to. Expose them to violence and they will become criminals, expose them to love and they will learn to care, expose them to truth and they will learn to believe.

2. Can you relate the ideas or concepts in this book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, etc? Please use personal examples in your explanation

Concerning us being master of thoughts: I once thought I was born disadvantaged. I thought man is only to live and act out a destiny that is already written. My thought then was only for the present so I try to get the best of now for whatever will be will be. Then I found I was not satisfied. I desired a glorious future better than what I see in my immediate family and environment. During this time of self-realization I also experience a deeper relationship with God (which in Christendom we call salvation).

I realized from the Bible that God wanted me to live righteously and through his Son the Lord Jesus Christ, I could receive forgiveness for my past wrongs (invariably included is my past thoughts) and receive grace to live the present and future gloriously. From thenceforth, my life and thoughts took a positive form and I have been living happily and joyfully ever since while pursuing my God-given goals and aspirations.

Concerning thought and circumstance: I found out that when my life had a turn-around, my circumstances also took a positive turn. Because I believe I can make it, I dissociate from friends and vices that are negative and I found out my academics took a new turn. I graduated with the best departmental result in my University. I also got to know very industrious and moral friends who are converted and spiritual. Together we focus on helping other youths around towards becoming righteous and morally sound through the grace of God. During my study period I engage in teaching jobs both to raise money for my schooling needs and also to help other youths as well. On graduation, I was faced with another challenge of getting a good employment. Unemployment is one of the greatest problem we face in my country and for my course, the field of practice is almost none existence. I put my trust in God and decide to explore the financial sector. I thank God I am already on the path towards achieving my goals. I also have resourceful people around counseling and helping towards achieving a better life for all around.

Concerning thought and health: I maintain a positive confession and abstain from vices common with youths around such as alcoholism, smoking, gluttony and violence. I have always had a good and robust health; with God assisting me. I watch my consumptions and I believe my thought is tailored towards what I am promised in the Bible that I will always have a good health once I keep to the word of God and the law of hygiene.

Concerning thought and ideals: I want to live to please God, to live happily and prosperously while also helping others discover the path towards having abundance and righteous. I strive to live peacefully with everyone despite differences of beliefs and values, and to render whatever help I can render towards helping another have fulfillment in this life.

Concerning thought and life: I once heard a preacher saying, “A man is only as big as his thought”. I have over the years given myself to a self examination of this point and I have discovered that the statement is very true. Upon this discovery, I gave myself to thought developing exercise such as only exposing myself to positive things that can promote good thoughts. My early years was beset with youthful excitement and adventures and in all these, I was constantly exposed to temptations, decisions and choices that will reflect what I am made of (i.e my thoughts). After my discovery on thoughts I detached myself from anything polluting such as pornography, laziness, idleness, wild parties, night clubs and drunkenness and I gave myself to motivational books and character-challenging preachings and teachings.

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.

Most important new ideas or concepts. While I have been exposed to some of ideas, I will still want to appreciate the striking way thought is linked to both character and circumstances. The statement that my thought will actually attract circumstances that will favor my thoughts especially challenged me. My life was also blessed with the part that explains that the pure in thought only suffers as a result of some of the negative thought that is tolerated whether consciously or unconsciously. I also discover from the book that self-control is strength, right thought is master and calmness is power.

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?

Yes. I have been challenged greatly by the book. First, the book is like a call to purity of thought. I am reminded of the impact of my thought on my peculiar circumstance. I am taught that though I might not have had a perfect thought in the past but I can re-direct my thought towards having a better circumstance and achieving fulfillment in life

5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

I agree with the theme and the lesson of the book but there is this part, which says, “ suffering ceases for him who is pure”. I believe even when one is pure, one can still suffer for doing good or right and I support this from the example of the Lord Jesus who suffers for mankind despite being pure (sorry for religious inclination).
Suffering purifies but in some aspect it might be the sacrifice needed for change or needed to help others. I believe in heaven where everything is completely pure, suffering indeed ceases.

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

Every part or point raised has been very helpful especially the part that connects thoughts with circumstance

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

The book is out to make people get a grip on their thought and thereby create their desired purpose and circumstance in life. It also challenges towards purity of heart, self-control and calmness of soul

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

 

 

Jonathan Livingston Seagull
Assessment by Obarinu Sunday Abidemi (Nigeria)

1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples.

The first idea was that, to be extraordinary one needs be different from the crowd. It takes desire and an adventurous thought and pursuit for one to be different.

A path towards attaining one’s desire is always a happy learning experience though beset with privation and sacrifice. The initial period of learning is always with some kind of strain and pain, and as such patience and self-control is highly needed at this time.

Achievers most times have a secluded place where they retire to re fire. This secluded place most times serves as succor for them in times of confusion and disappointment.

Upon achievement of a major victory, one is still faced with acceptance by the larger society and most times they are opposed to change and to the changer. New horizon of better opportunities is only achieved by the few extraordinary who care to dare

With better opportunities, still one needs to strive and practice to attain perfection. We are to discover that we are perfect, unlimited being and upon this discovery, we are taken again to another level of blissful living.
The perfection of life is to know kindness and love. When achievement had been made, the next level is to help and instruct another who wishes to learn. We are limited in body, if we have limited thought. Once we gain freedom of thought, we will always be free and limitless despite opposing laws and environment. Success beckons on men to have a taste of freedom but yet men see it as an aberration; the ancient, used to the normal and usual, disapproves of change and keeps the rest in limitation.

2. Can you relate the ideas or concepts in this book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, etc? Please use personal examples in your explanation.

On the first idea, I was once brought to the reality of a higher life and a better life. I desire a better living. My immediate neighbors live in abject poverty and kept themselves in this condition with their ways of life and thought. I remember while being young I started thinking of ways of achieving life that is more noble and serene. I decided to separate from laziness and indolence and to give myself to my studies and self-discipline. With high rate of failure in the local exam and a demand for good certification at various levels of education; I burnt the midnight oil and through patience and doggedness, I had very excellent results in my primary, secondary and tertiary schooling. This later helped me in securing a job among the teeming population of jobless graduates in Nigeria.

With a level of education, came another horizon of limitless possibilities far greater than my initial thought and immediately I begin to seek ways of exploring this vast possibility in both careers, spiritual and living.
Having achieved some of my dreams I pressed forward to also help others achieve their goals especially in academics and moral living and closeness to God. With the help of God and doggedness, I am now leading some groups of young youths to discover their dreams and potentials while I am also developing myself for a brighter future and an eternal bliss.

Upon my self realization and discovery for a better life, I separated from friends that I know were influencing me negatively. This friends both included males and females. I wanted to abstain from immorality and idleness and to give myself to books and writings that will help me in achieving my dream of a more quality life but I was met with strong opposition as I declined invitations to night parties and meetings involving excesses. I thought my friends will follow suit along with my new found ways but I was wrong because my friends felt I am becoming old fashioned and that my religious inclination are becoming excessive. I want to thank God today because of the decision to be different that I took. One of my friends who wanted to influence me then, was later killed by some gangster some twenty years later. Many then that were given to fornication, drunkenness and different other vices have now, broken homes, early marriages with its attendance problems, shattered dreams but the few of us who stood our ground and were focused have different careers being pursued and some already achieved.

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain.

I saw the personified bird going through self-training and with sheer determination was able to stand his ground to fulfill a desire to learn. This I see as very challenging as I am daily faced with some opposition from friends and family members who I confront on the vices they engage in.

I was also reminded that I am limitless and though I have believed this before but the vivid picture of Jonathan Seagull actually challenged me greatly with all his daily practices.

I also learnt that the climax of success is to be able to help others become success themselves. I feel I should work on this more by reaching out to those I have the opportunity to help.

I also learnt that one should not relent upon achievement of some goals but that one should move on to new levels of aspirations. I found this challenging as one might need to always check ones thought and aspiration so as to achieve a loftier life and fulfillment.I found that I must not think myself to have achieved anything but that I should continue to develop myself while seeking help and assistance from other people who have achieved some incredible and wonderful achievement in life. The personified bird was always ready to learn from others who are is superior in terms of performance and as such he always had people to help him. This I feel I must inculcate and practice as well. I should also learn a hand to the one who wishes to learn while at the same time seek to enlighten the ignorant of the limitless potential in them.

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?

Yes. I am more determined to make positive moves, even when this is seen by many as being ambitious or out of norms.I am persuaded that to get something extra-ordinary I must be willing to pay the price of achieving it.Many remain where they are because the either were ignorant or are unwilling to pay the price.

5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

Well, I feel the context with which heaven is pictured in the book has a different meaning. I feel there is a heaven where we go after life on Earth, and that this heaven exist I found disapproves in one paragraph of the book (I may not fully understand the contextual use of the word).

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

I find the idea of limitless possibility, a great one but I feel the literary embellishment in the book might be a bit difficult for the ordinary unschooled person to fully grasp the ideas easily. All the same, I was able to digest and comprehend the ideas being taught.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

The book conveys the idea that one needs to be dogged about achieving a particular desire. It also shows that with practice and patience one will surely gets to ones desired haven while also making sure that others are helped along the way for a better and a more glorious and fulfilling living.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 8
C. How easy was it to understand? 5
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 7

 

 

The New Dynamics Of Winning
Assessment by Obarinu Sunday Abidemi

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea the author is trying to convey is every man has what it takes to take the world and with the principles stated in the book (drive, commitment, self esteem, integrity, consistency, coachability and passion for success) one will achieve whatever goal one aspires to get.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas which were personally most important to me are

A man aspiring to succeed must necessarily have the drive and passion that will propel him into actualizing the pictured goal

This I found true in my life and in the life of others around me. Seeing is believing they say and the distance a man goes in life will depend on how far he sees in life. In my personal life I saw things that were not desirable around me and I set about with the help of others and trust in God to be a success and God has helped me greatly in achieving some of my dreams and goals and the actualization I will attribute first to the drive and passion to succeed.

Winners choose activities that will give them long term positive results i.e. delayed gratification while losers engage in pleasurable activities that are just for now with no particular result in mind i.e. instant gratification.

I am so much in agreement with this statement and I am greatly challenged by it. Men who take time to think and sit down to realize what they want in life will be prepared to pay the price of what they want. While I was growing up I already pictured the kind of life I want to live, the kind of family I want to raise and the kind of impact I want to have on my society. Setting up these goals and aspirations made me to deny myself of some instant gratification, i.e. I have to be disciplined with time and I have to get educated while receiving very little support from my parents. The little money I had then was kept aside to pay tuition fees and other needs while some others in the same shoes went about crying about their helpless situation while gratifying the flesh for that moment. I was also disciplined in the kind of friends I chose but I could look back now and boldly say when it start to hurt, you start to win. Presently I am also saving for the future while delaying gratification for the present.

We are presented with equal opportunities of achieving victory and success in life, Champions and losers are only made by their decisions, perceptions and responses in life. Achievers start first with a clearly define dream and do go after the dream with right perception and responses to challenges and obstacles.

Like some one put it “tough times don’t last but tough people do”. We are presented with opportunities on a daily basis but these opportunities are not without their challenges and there are prices to pay in getting the best out of every opportunity. Our responses, perceptions and decisions in terms of prizes will determine the worth of what we get in life. Life is kind enough to hand us the just reward of the price we pay. This reminded me of my experience at my place of work. The new place of work afforded me the opportunity to either be dedicated to work or join some in showing disdain and nonchalant to work. I resolve to give my best whatever is and I have been mightily favored in terms of promotion and increment in salary. I am still committed to the fact that whatever is worth doing is worth doing well.

A leader must necessarily have personal integrity which must not be contradicted by his behavior in any area of life.

I will explain this with the latest development at work in my place of work. My boss wanting to make people work and also to be in control of the production team recently enacted some laws to guide the workers. These laws range from those on punctuality to those on absenteeism and so on. It happens that the boss that made the laws also contradicted the laws in coming late in some of the days and the other colleagues were quick to detect this contradiction in integrity of the leader.

Visualize your dream or goal and project the picture of the dream into both the conscious part and the unconscious part of you. Champions know that what you see is what you become

Dreams are like the steam engine of a locomotors, they provide the drive and the propellant that move the body to the destination. Somebody put it this way See it, say it and seize it. Dreams drive the world. By it mighty inventions were discovered, records broken and lives find fulfillment. I am full of dreams both spiritual and social. Dreams have sharpened the course of my life and had given me direction and hope for the future.

Achieving success is not without it pains and prize but mental toughness will get one through.

Success does not just come to every Dick and Harry. There are prices that must be paid. If wishes were horses beggars will ride. My dreams of becoming a graduate cost me some pains. I had to take up menial jobs, deny myself of instant gratification and save towards my schooling. I had to burn the midnight candle in order for me to have the best result in department. Now I can look back with a comfortable salary and a promising future that all those pains pave way for today’s gain

In life true winners, still give room for coachability. Individuals, who have a pattern of low respect for authority, low capacity for organization and an exaggerated need for freedom and self direction, present the greatest coaching challenge.

I totally agree with this statement. I believe life itself is a lesson which must be learnt and as long as we are alive we continue in this school of learning. I still make sure I learn something everyday. In fact the main reason while I become a student with IIGL is to learn. Like it was said in the Bible, ‘in the multitude of counselors, there is safety’.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

I see the following ideas portrayed in the book: drive, commitment, self esteem, integrity, consistency, coachability and passion for success.

Drive: This I believe will increase my passion to get what I want out of life. I am becoming more passionate about realizing my dreams and encouraged by the testimonies of others who dared to dream and conquer.

Commitment: I believe my spirit is lifted to be more committed to life. I am highly encouraged to be more committed to work and helping others.

Self esteem: I am developing a better self esteem than I have before. I believe this will increase my productivity and also help people around me to believe in themselves as well.

Integrity: I am more determined to maintain integrity as I see this as the key to self respect and honor. I am also going to encourage others to maintain integrity

Consistency: I want to be more consistent and not to give up on my dreams. I know there are obstacles and challenges but I am more determined to stick to my plans and dreams until they are actualize.

Coachability: I am getting more role models and teachers to help me in getting prepared and actualizing my dreams. I also want to make myself more available for younger ones who are willing to be coached.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment on them.

I found the following quotes both inspiring and challenging:

“Mistakes are painful when they happen…but years later a collection of mistakes is called experience”.

I was at a time afraid to make mistake until I found this truth some time ago.

“The less you try to impress, the more impressive you are”.
I have been trying this much more now.

“When it starts to hurt, you starts to win”
I believe before gain there is some measure of pain.

“Courage isn’t the absence of fear; it is action in the presence of fear”
I learn not to give in to weakness occasioned by fear but to realize courage through action that dispel the fear.

“Winners work at doing things the rest of the population won’t even consider trying”

This is true knowing that most people prefer the comfort zone of lassitude, indifference, mediocrity and the normal but winners take time to think and stretch themselves to get to a peak where lies better life

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

While I agree with most of the thoughts express in the book, I feel the point where a leader is enjoined not to critic or correct is a bit to the extreme. I believe there are times when a leader needs to be a bit firm in correction and discipline as the case requires, though this is not to be generalized.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, I completed many of the exercise and I found them extremely helpful.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

I love the testimony of Denis Waitley concerning when he was saved from an air mishap. Such testimonies generally make me to want to do all I can now, because today may be the only day I have to do well. I love books that talk much on personal testimony of people.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude
Assessment by Obarinu Sunday Abidemi (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book is an exposition on the possibilities inherent in man. It showcases the limitless potential and success one can acquire through a positive mental attitude

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas which were personally most important to me are

A. Every adversity has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.
I feel this is a great truth which many have not known. I once felt very bad for a situation that happened to me. I was to attend one interview at a time, after scaling through the first and second test. I was sure I was going to scale through the last and the final test but as it would happen I was told to reapply. I felt so down casted and disappointed, nevertheless I summoned up courage to continue looking for a better place as the place I was working then was totally discouraging. It was just some time afterwards that I was called up in a place I have not even thought of before, a place that is even better than the other place I wanted to get into.

Also I have found out on many occasions that when a perplexing or discouraging situation happens with a positive mental attitude one can turn a seemingly discouraging situation to a better one.

I will also explain this with the story of a girl I will call Mary. Mary was a girl in my church. She was raised by a family of godly parent who are totally sold out to God. After her birth, she was infected with a particular disease that affected her eyes making her blind. She was the only one in the family of 8 and this was very devastating to her and the family. But thank God, she had a positive mental attitude and she turned her handicapped to something useful. She went to a school. Affected the people there positively and she came out the best in that school. She is such a big challenge to me and to many others. She is presently at the university where she engages in her studies as well as helping others find fulfillment in life and in Christ.

B. I can develop a positive mental attitude by applying the 17 success principles. These principles which are; a positive mental attitude, definiteness of purpose, going the extra mile, accurate thinking, self-discipline, developed mind, faith, pleasing personality, personal initiative, enthusiasm, attentiveness, teamwork, creative vision, proper budgeting, est.

I believe these principles are the core of a successful disposition. I have seen some of these principles applied in my life and it has achieved the result predicted by the authors. I have seen myself thinking out a thought, plan or goal, I have applied self discipline, faith in God, a good disposition, PMA, enthusiasm and attentiveness and I have seen some result which include: a good grade at school, a lovable personality, a position of high esteem in my company, a committed youth worker in my local church, a prospect of good marriage, a stabilize financial status, a robust health and hope of eternity in heaven.

I believe I need to engage in more work towards passing these principles to the younger generation in my community. Many of them are kept in the dark as to these success principles. Many wanted short cut to success, so they engage in cheating to pass an exam, many lie to get by and many engage in immoral activities to achieve a goal but I believe an exposure to and understanding of these principles will be of tremendous help.

C. I am a body with a mind, a mind composed of two parts; the conscious and the subconscious. Self affirmations repeated with frequency, rapidity and emotion affect the subconscious mind and cause it to react. I am to learn the proper suggestions to the mind in influencing my thought and the mind of others.

I believe positive confession as portrayed in the book and also in the Bible is a great contribution to what happens to a man. I am persuaded of the promise of God concerning me in the Bible and every day, I make a proclamation of these promises. Such promises as: I shall not die but live, The Lord will supply all my needs, I am in health as my soul prospers, no enchantment against me, it is well with me, I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me, est.
I believe I am to intensify these confessions. I expect the best and I know my subconscious mind will respond as I continue to make these confessions about myself and others.

I have seen colleagues at school that are faced with the uphill task of passing seemingly difficult courses but with constant confession like I will pass this course in flying colors, I have seen them scale through what others might think is a dead zone.

I have seen people within my church with some kinds of ailment beginning to confess positively to these life threatening diseases, with the result of a quick recovering from such sickness against which some will have thought no hope.

D. I have also found out from the book that the whole is equal to the sum of all the parts and is greater than any of its parts. That is if there is a failure in any endeavor, this Failure could be because of lack of a particular part that has not been added, SOMETHING MORE. The little difference between success and failure is often something more.

This point sets me thinking on what more I needed to add to myself to be able to achieve the success desired both spiritually and physically. I believe success itself is complete but what brings failure is a missing link in a success train. I believe whenever I am faced with a seeming failure, I am to look at the situation and find the missing link to turn failure to success.

E. When I have a problem, I am to ask for divine guidance, think, state the problem, analyze the problem, and adopt the PMA attitude and with PMA change the adversity into seeds of greater benefit.

I found out that this process of problem solving has been used both by myself and others around me with proven result. I have had to seek the face of God When I am faced with overwhelming situations. After the prayer I have found peace and time to think through the problem. I will never forget the time at school just some few days to the defense of my project work. I had already typed the project and was just collating and doing the type setting when suddenly some one came to use the same system that I was using and in the process introduced a virus that wiped everything on the system away, including my typed project. I was devastated because it was just some few days to the defense of the project. I just didn’t know how I will be able to assemble the scripts again and type them in just very few days. In my devastation, I prayed to God to take control and show me the way to go about it. Then afterwards I asked some friends for help. I was surprised as my friend rally round me and in between us just in 3 to 4 days we assembled the project and typed it just in time for the defense and to crown it all, I did very well in the defense.

F. I am more apt to succeed if I do what comes naturally.

I have found people getting frustrated on what they do just because it was not natural to them and they are unwilling to make it natural through effort and determination.

I was once asked by a friend to answer three questions which are:
If I am to work throughout life without being paid at all what will I want to do?

If I have all the money in the world, what will I want to spend it on?
If everything is to be taken from me what will I wish above every thing to still be with?

He said if my answers point to the same thing for the three question, then I should know that thing is the natural thing to me wish I should spend my time on.

G. I am to develop an obsession – a magnificent obsession, by sharing myself with others without expecting a reward, payment or commendation. When I share with others a part of what I have that which remains will multiply and grow. The more I share, the more I will have.

I believe this statement is true and is supported by the Bible which says whatever a man sows that will he reap. It also says there is that scatters and increases and there is that withholds than what is necessary and this tends to penury.

What goes around comes around. A magnificent obsession to help others is not only going to benefit the community but it will also rub on the giver too.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Every adversity has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit

I see myself lifted in faith to face any adversity knowing that in such adversity lies an equivalent or greater benefit. I am more apt and prepared to face the challenges with PMA.

The 17 success principles.

I am determined to use these principles in my life and to pass it to others as I know a knowledge and application of these principles will create real wealth and success for all. I want to use all the avenue that I have to pass it to others. The use of PMA should be a daily exercise for me and I am prepared to do just that.

The conscious and the subconscious mind.

I want to continue to exercise myself in positive self affirmations, I want to do this daily and encourage others to do the same knowing that the subconscious mind will attract whatever I daily exrcise my mind on whether positive or negative. I want to have good thought about myself and others.

When I have a problem.

I will use the guidelines spelt out in the book for I see them very helpful and true. I have use some before but now I am determined to use all the steps stated.

I will go all out to also recommend these steps to problem solving to colleagues, neighbours, friends and my youth team.

Doing what comes naturally.

I want to see more of what I like to do naturally. I want to tailor my thought and life towards what I enjoy doing naturally. I want to advise others to find what they enjoy doing naturally and do that so they can have maximum satisfaction both at work and in life

A magnificent obsession

What goes round comes around. I want to be obsessed with helping others and not to think of myself only. I am to check and see in what ways I can be of benefit especially to the youth am leading as many of them are in need of one thing or the other.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment on them.

I found the following quotes both inspiring and challenging:

A. “What the mind of man can conceive and believe the mind of man can achieve with PMA”.
All inventions, transformation that we see today are as a result of someone taken the philosophy above into practice.

B. “Every adversity has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit for those who have positive mental attitude”.
I was once afraid of adversity or test or trial until I found out that these are things you conquer to get to the next level or higher level. I have been trying this much more now.

C. “Thinking is not creative unless it is followed through with action”.
I believe I need to add action to my thought to bring out my dreams.

D. “Vice is a monster of such awful mien that to be hated needs but to be seen; Yet, seen too oft, familiar with his face, We first endure, then pity, then embrace”.
I have seen from experience that there is much truth in this saying. Familiarity with evil if not watched could lead to losing sensitivity to it and with time one might not see it as very bad after all.

E. “Too often what we read and profess becomes a part of our libraries and our vocabularies, instead of becoming a part of our lives”.
I want to make sure that this statement does not become true in my life.

F. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
A sincere prayer that I need to meditate on and pray as well.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I agree with most of the thoughts express in the book, I am more importantly trilled about the Bible quotations and their application in the principles of success.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, I completed many of the exercise and I found them extremely helpful.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

I love the story of Ben Cooper concerning when he courageously beat back his bullies. I see this story as the summary of life itself. Life presents you with challenges which you must courageously fight back since life will give you enough ability to be able to overcome your peculiar challenges, but failure to do this will result into life boxing us into a corner, where we will be at the mercy of whatever it hands us, until we are jolted back to life by such instances when our through potential is revealed to us.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

Psycho-Cybernetics 2000
Assessment by Sunday Abidemi Obarinu

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book discusses and reveals the centrality of self esteem in getting success. It reveals how to change habits of failure to habits of success. It also shows the ways to tap into creative imagination as a tool into achieving success.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas which were personally most important to me are

An adequate self image is a necessary strategy in the empowerment of individuals and a promising step towards the correction of social ills.

I believe each one of us should appreciate our worth and importance and have the character to be accountable for ourselves and to act responsibly toward others.

A low self worth which we can posses as a result of our upbringing, our environment or the influence of others on us make us to view ourselves as cheap and non appreciative of both ourselves and others.

I have lived with friends who feel life was favorable to others and feel a sense of punishing the so called favored people so every person could have a feel of what it means to suffer. I have found the bottom-line problem with them is a low self esteem which in turn make them resent themselves and the society. I once had a friend at the University. I found out at the first time I met him he was failing most of his courses, in fact at that time he was close to the range of withdrawal. I found out later that he was failing not because he hadn’t the sharpness of brain but because he felt others are always better than him and that he is a dummy when it comes to academics. After I discovered this I decided to help him see that he is as good in academics as the supposedly sharp-brained and that all he needs is to believe in himself and he will make it. I decided to take him as my reading partner and the result was amazing. He not only had a good result but had one of the best results on graduation. The experience really changed his entire outlook of life that even in other areas of life he was totally transformed.

We all posses a built-guidance system that moves us toward the things we think about, A success instinct help our built-guidance to focus on success and guides us toward fulfillment of the laudable goals that make us human and contribute to a rich and satisfying life.

All living creatures posses a built-in goal-striving mechanism that constantly pushes us towards a point of passion and desire. Our desire, passion and goals are greatly determined by the level of self esteem and worth that we have for ourselves. A poor self-image caused the individual’s servomechanism to operate as a failure mechanism but when we take control of our creative mechanism and reprogram it as a success mechanism, we can set and achieve worthwhile goals.

Let me illustrate this with the story of a friend I will call Mr. John. Mr. John was born into a polygamous home. He grew up in the atmosphere of strive, conflict and neglect. This affected the way he sees himself and others. He believes life is about striving and taking advantage of others. He believes life is unfair and as such he also should not give nor expect fairness.

Mr. John went into school with no intention of achieving something worthwhile and this contributed a lot to the failures he suffered. He was punished on several occasions for various offences such as bullying, violence, fighting, abusing, stubbornness, est.

This situation continued until Mr. John was invited to a Christian program in the school. He came just for the fun of it but it just happen that the discuss was about the limitless possibilities and resources God has put in man and this so much touched John that he began to see himself in a better light. He began to think (power of imagination) and he felt he needs to redirect his energy into something positive and creative. I believe he cancelled his old beliefs and habits and with the help of God and determination, he began to cultivate good beliefs and a positive mental attitude.

Now John is an accomplished accountant with a company of his own which deals in shares. He is involved in many charitable organizations and now lives very responsibly.

The subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between a real experience and one that is vividly imagined. Through creative imagination we can create images of success that by incorporation into our self image can be turned into actual success.

There is power in imagination. Creative imagination of success and a positive outlook will position our energy into a success path. We are to focus on desired changes instead of dwelling on past mistakes. As we focused on the desired changes then our built in mechanism is locked into this focus thus everything that will contribute towards achieving this is consciously or subconsciously attracted to us. See yourself the way you dream yourself to be and little by little you will be transformed to that image of success.

Anything that has been learned can be reevaluated and challenged, anything that has been challenged can be relearned with new data to replace the old. We can change our self-image through changing our internal guidance system by;

* Cancel old negative data (poor self image),
* Replace with new positive data ( a good self-image and positive PMA),
* Affirm your new image to yourself ( positive confession and affirmation),
* Focus on an image of a successful you(reflective relearning),
* Train yourself for lasting change.

Self realization propels self discovery which gender self provocation which bring glorious attainment and celebration.

This sets me thinking about what I need to cancel and what I need to replace and reaffirm in my life.

I know that I have been using CRAFT before and it has worked for me. I remember using CRAFT consciously or subconsciously to handle things I needed to change in my life while growing up. I will tell myself that I am going to be successful even when situation seems the contrary. I remember an experience I had while being in the primary school. I was in primary 6 in class dominated by very brainy pupils. I was new in the class and I had wish I was not taken to that class hoping to be put in another class with less population of very brilliant pupils. Normally in Nigeria primary school, a pupil (most cases the most brilliant) is chosen to head the class as captain or janitor. It happens that the girl that was chosen to be the captain in the new class was very mean because authority was given to her to beat and punish her classmate at will if she perceives any untoward behavior. She most time will walk into the class and ask everybody to stood down for making a noise or just for anything if she wants to just portray her authority. There is this particular day I was resting on my desk when she walked into the class and saw me resting my head on the desk (and assumed that I was sleeping in the class). She ordered me to come out in front of the class while drawing a circle around me. She then proceeded to flog me 4 times while telling me that stepping out of the circle will mean starting the count all over again. I felt very humiliated and went back to a solitary place. There I started thinking that why was this girl this wicked and brutal. Was it because most of us perceived her as the best in the class and as such she is better than everybody and thus can punish anybody at will. I decided there and then that I can study and top the class just to prove to her that she is no special ( though within me I feel that is going to be a great shocker because I still feel I wouldn’t be named among the first 10 best in the new class at that time.

Then I started, I would wake up to tell myself that I can solve that problem in Mathematics. I can read and answer that comprehension passage just like or better than Rose (for that was her name). Then we continued and everybody started seeing a different me. I will stay behind in school and read and practice. Then came the final exam for the school, I was surprised at the outcome of the result. I not only beat Rose but I came top in the whole school ( a deed that shocked my whole teachers and classmate and which left Rose wondering where she got it all wrong.

I was given a special gift by the school and since then I found out that there is inherent in me a possibility that may be latent but if which tapped into could result into something so powerful and fulfilling.

I can learn to avoid stress by developing the habit of consciously examining events from a different perspective using the SEEDS method;

1. See the situation as fundamentally neutral.
2. Evaluate the situation; who owns the problem?
3. Emotion should be shifted to fit evaluation.
4. Do something about the situation.

I have found people getting stressed up on what they do just because it was something new and perplexing to them and they are unwilling to see , evaluate and properly analyze the situation, thus they make mountain out of a mule just to justify their bruised ego or expectation.

I believe the SEED method is a good method that one can use to break the stronghold of stress over our emotion and spirit. When we analyze problem and break them into solvable units, we are more able to calculatively deal with the problem and thus limit its devastating effect on our spirit and emotions.

The creative guidance system within you is a goal-striving mechanism, and the first requisite for using it is to have a clear-cut goal or target to shoot for.

Setting goals that are fulfilling and achievable requires a SMART approach which is listed below;
1. Make each goal Specific
2. The goals must be Measurable.
3. A plan of Action must be developed for the goals.
4. Decide what goals are Realistic for you, balance safety and risk.
5. Set Time conscious goals.

I have used the SMART approach at setting goals and I am still in the process of using it. It really works if we are diligent enough to follow it through.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Adequate self image.
I am reading and getting counsels on improving my self image. I believe with faith in God and what he has promised me my self image is improving every day.

I am striving towards making others see the need for their improving their self image so the world could be a better place for all.

The built-guidance system.
I am determined to focus my passion, dreams and goals at both achieving success that are not too common and also helping others especially the younger ones to direct their built guidance towards achieving success. I am using the forum available for me to do this such in the church, working place, meetings est.

The Creative imagination.
I want to continue to exercise myself in creative imagination. I know a mind that stops imagining starts decaying, imagination is power. I want to positively employ my mind in creative thinking about my work, my environment, my community, my nation and as a whole my world. I also want to stir up the creative imagination of others so the world could be a better place by the contribution of everyone of us.

Re-evaluation.
I don’t want to see myself as achieving everything yet, I want to constantly re-evaluate myself on the real purpose why I am alive. I want to continually improve on myself and challenge present state for better virtues, better health, better family life, better finance, better relationship with God and better relationship with others.

Stress-free living.
I want to use the principle of SMART to ward off stress from my life. My job and the situation of my city induce so many stressful situation but I am not going to allow stress to be overriding in my life. I am consciously going to reduce stressful conditions in my life. As much as possible I am also going to affect others towards reducing stressful conditions through SMART.

Goal setting.
I am going to keep at my goals with renewed determination. I am greatly impressed with the section of setting goals and I am going to put all that I have learnt into practice.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment on them.

I found the following quotes both inspiring and challenging:

A. “If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got”.

Mere profession, wishes or dreams doesn’t bring a change but action must be put into the words to make a difference.

B. “Self esteem is the likeliest candidate for a social vaccine, something that empowers us to live responsibly and that inoculates us against the lure of crime, violence, substance abuse, teen pregnancy, child abuse, chronic welfare dependency, and educational failure. The lack of self esteem is central to most personal and social ills plaguing our state and nation as we approach the end of the twentieth century”.

I believe enhancement of self image will greatly benefit the world..

C. “Through your imagination you can create positive images of yourself that with time and repeated practice will become your actual self-image”.

I believe conception breeds realization. Conception sometimes might shake the present due to the tendency of the present to want to remain the same but as persistence continues with the practice of the conceived, then realization and actualization materializes.

D. “It is impossible to feel anxious or stressed out when you are relaxed”.

I want to practice this more often now.

E. “It’s been my experience that those who don’t write down their goals don’t achieve them. If you can’t commit to writing down the goals, you won’t commit to following through”.

I have found that I am getting more committed to my goals when I started writing them down than when I only committed them to memory. So writing them down is better

F. “We are not on earth to live up to someone else’s expectations. To make our unique contribution to the world, we each need to prize our individual worth and pursue our dreams”.

A sincere thought that I need to meditate on and pray on as well.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I agree with most of the thoughts express in the book.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, I completed some of the exercise and I found them extremely helpful. Some of the exercises are still ongoing.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

I believe to make a permanent change we all need the grace of God as the place of God as the creator who can help the mortal get enough strength to effect a positive change cannot be under-estimated.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

 

 

The Winning Attitude
Assessment by Obarinu Sunday Abidemi (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book discusses and reveals the centrality of ATTITUDE as a major determinant of what we get out of life. It reveals the place of attitude in changing habits of failure to habits of success. It advises on one changing from a bad attitude which produces bad habit of failure to good attitude which produces good habit of success.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven ideas which were personally most important to me are

A. Attitude dictates performance.

I was brought up with some knowledge of Bible. I know right from when I was young that there is a part of the Bible that says whatever our hands find to do we should do it with all our heart.
I have seen attitude of colleagues and that of myself determining our level of success or failure. I will never forget my undergraduate period. It happen I went for Physiology instead of Medicine. I later found out that virtually all the people in the class did not intend to read Physiology as a major course but Medicine, it just happen that somehow they found themselves settling for Physiology.

I found out that for most students in the class, there was a cold attitude to classes, teachings and reading for the class. During this time I remember the word of the Bible about having a positive attitude to whatever I need to do. I summon up courage and did what I was supposed to do. I read, did my assignment, related well with lecturers and maintain a positive outlook to the course.

By final year, I had been made the class representative twice, I was the only one with a grade close to first class, I was arranging tutorial classes for colleagues and eventually I graduated with the best grade in the whole department. I found in terms of intellect and IQ, I was not different from my colleagues who for the greater part came out with lower grades but I have what many of them did not have, a positive attitude. I have learnt to continue carrying the positive attitude into all things I found myself doing.

B. It is hard to soar with the eagles when you have to live with the Turkeys.

We easily change to fit our environment, as such if we intend to soar high in life we
are to find or create the right atmosphere around us that we help in modeling good
Attitude that will propel us to achieving great success and fulfillment.

I had a friend that really impacted on me that desire to soar in life in the face of seeming impossibilities. He was a person that came from a struggling family. He was denied of care by his immediate family. He did menial work to pay for school fees and eventually graduated. He briefly stayed with me and within that time greatly affected my attitude positively. He went from there and got a work with a top oil producing company in Nigeria. Now, he heads one of the units within the company, he plays a key role in establishing a Christian fellowship at the field where they work.

In contrast, I also have this neighbor, who was a childhood friend. Throughout our growing up years, he snubs classes, watches movies all day and blame the government for the decadence and poverty all around. His attitude to life was negative, he believes most people cheat and as a result he is justified to cheat as well. Take a leap into the future and now at about 30 years of age, he is still struggling with his college papers, he is still being fed by his aged mother. He has on him now the look of frustration and dejection caused mainly by his negative attitude to life. I tried persuading him to change his attitude which then he ignores but now he seems to be doing something about his attitude.

C. Self-Image: For as he thinks within himself, so is he.

It is impossible to perform consistently in a manner inconsistent with the way we see ourselves. I once taught in a school where every child is treated as a dummy because the average student in the very school perform very poorly in comparison to other student from different schools.
I was posted to this area as a corps member during my service year. I found when I got to the school that the teachers have instilled in the students a negative attitude to think that they are not as intelligent as other student from other schools. Generally teachers don’t come to classes to teach and when they do, they bully the student for their poor performance. When I observed this scenario, I decided I was going to do something to lift the attitude of the student. I arranged extra classes with the students to cover for areas of academics that they had missed. I started explaining to them to believe in themselves. At first it was difficult making them read and concentrate but gradually I saw in them a spark that want to know. It got to state that I have to force the class to a close because the students were willing to go on.

After a while we had a competition within the locality which involves several schools including ours. Prior to this time, the last position was almost exclusively for the school I taught, but on this occasion I encourage the student that they could beat the other students from other schools with what they know already in Physics, Mathematics and Chemistry. True to it, they qualify as the best participating school and three of them were selected to represent the region at a state competition. All these achievement came as a result of a boosted Self-Image.

D. It is impossible to succeed without suffering. Failures, repeated failures, are fingerprints on the road to achievement

I believe there is no crown without cross preceding. I have known people and friends who initially had setbacks, disappointment, failures and losses, who with all these still went ahead without being discouraged to accomplish greatness and success. I know a brother in my church that had a very rough beginning. He did menial work to be able to pay for school fees. He went to school and had his graduate degree. He came out of school and job wasn’t forthcoming. It was a trying time with a wife and a kid to fend for. He opted to retail powdered milk in sachets. Normally, retailing stuff like that is barely profitable. The brother will go very early to strategic points to make sale and will only succeed in selling very few. He continued for a while despite being a graduate with good grade, he navigated the city, planned and made sells, though the margin was very small.

One of those days, he was called by one of his customers who has been watching him with the skills with which he sells. The customer enquired if he was schooled and was very happy when he learnt that he had a degree in business administration. He was employed in the company to work in the marketing section. After some little time he rose from being just a worker to head three sections within the company. His doggedness and marketing skills which had developed not in the college but in the days of his selling powdered milk paid off in his new found job. Now, he holds talks, counsel and had seminars where he encourages people to succeed using his own as example of a will to succeed though starting with a rough beginning.

E. When I am secure in Christ, I can afford to take a risk in my life. Only the insecure cannot afford to risk failure. The secure can be honest about themselves. They can admit failure. They are able to seek help and try again. They can change.

I realized my inadequacies early. I knew I needed God both for now and thereafter. I had done many things on my own with fear, frustration, disappointment and hopelessness trailing. I grew up in a religious home but I had not learnt to trust God and depend on Christ as Lord and Guide. I thank God around 2006 I made a decision for God. This decision changes my attitude and nature. I learnt from God’s word to have faith to overcome life challenges. I also realized that God is always there to help me and that seeming impossibilities could be overcome with his presence with me. I Have had challenges that I found overweighed others but with the help from above I was able to conquer. I know from God’s word that I am significant and secure. I know I can tap into God’s limitless power by praying to him and getting heaven’s resources in times of need. The God above is able to change our nature to a more fruitful and rewarding nature if we can only call upon him.

Realizing the power of God in us is the greatest realization that could happen to us. When we have tried and failed, seek help and it has not been worthwhile, then is the time to hand over to God in humility and trust, then and then can success truly be guaranteed.

F. Attitude is to be reviewed for improvement. There is nothing like a perfect attitude and as such we are to constantly check for area of improvement in our attitude.

There is no improvement except through change. To change I need to:
1 Evaluate my present attitudes
2 Determine and desire to change
3 Change my thought patterns
4 Develop good habits
5 Choose right attitude
6 Associate with the right people
7 Select a model to follow.
8 Believe in the God above and in his Christ.
9 Enlist the help of God, prayer and the Holy Spirit in any situation.

I have seen many people who have used this life principle and had made significant success in life. I remember a friend who needed miracle of healing and had tried all he could but all to no avail until he realizes he needs to first check his attitude. He felt he needed to make a turn around in his relationship with God and to change his attitude to people with the grace of God. He dedicated his life to God and his glory. Now, he has found both healing for his soul and body. He now lives a transformed life attested to by his family and people around him.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Attitude.
I believe I need to improve on my attitude daily. I know that my attitude to things of life will dictate my level of success. I want to take deliberate effort at improving my attitude to my work, my family members, my service to God and humanity. I believe with the assistance of God and encouragement from the godly friends around me I will achieve a better attitude.

Soaring with the eagles.
I am making deliberate decision to be close to people with positive attitude. All around me are wonderful people that can help me attain the purpose of God for my life. To achieve more I need to get more virtue and strength by being close and learning from others who through good attitude. I have to be open to learning from others. I need to seek help and be humble enough to admit that I am insufficient on my own. The good counsel and encouragement may be the springboard towards achieving more in life.

Self Image.
I want to have a better self Image. I need to know and reflect in everything I do that I am special and unique. I am working on my perception of self and trying to improve on my self Image.
I have to value what God has done in my life and what he has also achieve through my life because I believe gratitude is the attitude that will take me to the altitude.

Success and suffering.
I have been encouraged to know that suffering is part of success. There is no meaningful success without some form of suffering either directly or indirectly.
I am determined not to run away from suffering that accompanies success. I want to achieve success in all areas of my life and I know the human nature wouldn’t want to suffer except with discipline and determination. I am willing to suffer now if it will produce joy, happiness and fulfillment in the future.

Security in Christ.
I am aware of my frailty without God. I am daily making improvement in my relationship with God. There is no security outside God. I am daily relying and resting on the everlasting hands of the almighty to overcome life’s issues and challenges. Reading this particular section of the book has made me to be encouraged in getting closer to God and that to be assured that other things may fail but God will never fail as long as I keep to his commandments..

Constant evaluation of self.
I will daily check on my attitude and daily strive to improve. I will seek the help of friends in checking on my attitude so I don’t get contented, stagnated and eventually rot. I will depend on God’s grace

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment on them.

I found the following quotes both inspiring and challenging:

A. “No society has ever developed tough men during times of peace, adversity is prosperity to those who posses a great attitude”. History attests to this.

B. “What I will become in five years will be determined by what I read and who I associate with”. I believe this a great truth that all must know so the future won’t be difficult to predict.

C. “The man who never made a mistake never made anything”. Success most times have it beginning littered with mistakes.

D. “Be very careful what you set your heart on, for it will surely come true”. This is a truth that most become aware of much later in life when the mistakes had all been made. Awareness of the power of out thought and focus will make us focus on things that are profitable and that leads to success and fulfillment.

E. “The future not only looks bright when the attitude is right, but also the present is much more enjoyable.” I believe we all need to improve on attitude to make more meaningful living.

F. “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” God help us take this to heart.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I agree with most of the thoughts express in the book.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, I completed many of the exercise and I found them extremely helpful. I am still on some of the exercise.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

none

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.
\
A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10.

 

 

Developing The Leaders Around You
Assessment by Sunday Abidemi Obarinu (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The author brings to bear the truth and salient point of leader being key to development, progress, productiveness and success and therefore made the issue of raising good leaders a must. It points out the need for leaders, the disaster of lack of leadership, the process of raising leaders and ingredient of sustaining and maintaining good leaders.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

A. Those closest to the leader will determine the success level of that leader. Those closest to me will either make or mar me.

I have taken a retrospect into my past and present to reflect on this statement and I cannot but agree with this truth. I have been greatly influence by my close friends both at home, in the workplace and in the church I grew up with some unserious youths all around me and my life took a downward turn but through the help of God after making a deeper commitment to God, I met these sets of young minds with purpose and determination. I have been greatly influenced and helped through their leadership skills and sense of purpose. I also have been developed by purposeful friends at work. They are a set that are ever developing and also developing others. I have been blessed through them. I have learnt to always surround myself with people of vision and purpose who will not settle for less in life but with focus and determination hope to impact their world. Presently at work, I am careful not to settle with chickens but soar with the daring eagles. Therefore I have been close with the high fliers who can also mentor me and others in personal development and corporate development.

B. Unless a man undertakes more than he possibly can do, he will never do all he can do.
I learnt from experience that we sometimes avoid taking more and venturing into new levels simply because undertaking more than our perceived ability most times causes stretching and stretching is always accompanied with some forms of pain. My company just ventured into new production area. While we are still trying to grasp the status quo of the normal routine, the management then opened up another area of production. At first, it was like we needed time to still perfect the usual areas and some of the team feel we should not venture into new area. Looking back now, I saw the proactive nature of the management in undertaking more than we were doing and going to open new ground. Now we are the first to do that area of business not only in Nigeria but Sub Sahara Africa.

Potential leaders need to be tested with responsibilities that will look beyond the immediate responsibilities but focus on present and future capability and potential.
I am learning to take up challenges in new areas and also develop my potentials.
I am presenting working in an area different from my educational line and it has been very testing. There are times that it will seems the whole work is crumbling but after much stretching and learning from mistakes I have been able to manage whatever challenges that come.
I have learnt that as a developing leader, I need to invest time and money in those around me that I have identified as potential leaders as well. My work has been very tasking but now I started developing people around me to take up some of the responsibilities hitherto left for me as the supervisor. This has greatly helped me and the department. It has also helped the company as numbers of complain from my department had been seriously mitigated within that same time.

C. As a leader I must posses and develop the following qualities: flawless character, quality influence, positive attitude, excellent people skills, proven track record, confidence, self-discipline, effective communication skills and discontent with status quo. Character is key. It is everything about us. It shows our nature, flaws, abilities and potential. It attract the favor of God and man when positive and wrath otherwise. As developing and potential leader, I need to have a strong character which is reflected in honesty, sincerity, integrity and good work ethics.
My company ones employed a chief financial officer who was paid handsomely to the envy of many. He had a posh car attached and many benefits as part of his take home. He was part of the most highly paid employee in my company. I think such opportunities are rare in Nigeria and he was fortunate to land that. The CFO has he was often called was found to be faulty in character after a tip off in the department suggested he cuts corners, inflate purchases and bend rules to favor himself. The CEO/MD was later informed and the situation led to his being sacked from the company. He is a case of a leader with flawed character; his flawed character took him away from a place of leadership with handsome rewards to a place of shame and poverty. In leadership, communication is key. Ineffective communication will lead to breakdown of order. A leader needs to improve his communication skills, gets feedback on his communication, and improve on areas of deficiency. I also love the parts that state a leader should not be satisfied with status quo. I used to be very liable to accepting the status quo until I met a friend who will not be satisfied with the status quo either at work or in the socials. I greatly learnt from him and had been looking at improving my present for the better as I am no longer satisfied with the usual. I look for new opportunity of doing things; proactive thoughts are now part of me. When there is dissatisfaction with the present situation, then vision for a better and more rewarding change comes. This vision is always in all potential leaders however minute it may be.

D. To develop potential leaders and myself, I need to set time for daily growth and keep the growth going. In a competitive world I have learnt to grow and keep growing. I am putting the principle of setting aside time for growth into practice though my busy schedule had always competed with this. I wake up early every day before my busy schedule to spend time to read the Bible and motivational books. Sometimes I listen to messages or talks that bother on morals, character, discipline and vision. This has greatly helped my development. I share with friends at work what I learnt in my studies and devotions. I am presently drawing a development plan for my team members as I know this will help me in raising them as potential leaders within our departments. I suggested to one to take ownership of a particular segment of the department. I tried to first teach and show him how to do it as stated by John Maxwell in this book. I also left him to do it on his own while I supervised. I later withdraw for him to execute the task while I come once in a week to check his performance. The result was wonderful, he not only has masterered the act but has started teaching others who normally would have waited for me to perform the act thus some of my routine responsibilities where unburdened by this singular act of training and developing the people around me. I am presently also using IIGL books as arts of my developmental books. I am taking time to reflect on ideas and lessons taught so far in the entire book I have read through them and I think I am improving fast in my personal, social and family life. I am very grateful for this

E. I understood the quality of a dream team which includes:
* The team members care for one another.
* The team members know what is important.
* The team members communicate with one another
* The team members fit as a unit
* The team members place their individual rights beneath the best interest of the team.
* Each member plays a special role
* An effective team has a good bench.
* The team members know exactly where the team stands.
* The team members are willing to pay the price

I understand from the above that it is not just enough to have a group of people working together, or just raising individuals with individual achievements. The greatest achievement in raising potential leaders is raising a team of leaders. My company started within just three years in smart card production. Prior to our existence, notable big companies had been operating in our line of business and maintaining a status quo. My CEO/MD conceived of an idea to change the ways smart cards production are done in Nigeria, thus while in association with some sets started the company. She recruited people that believe in are vision of transforming Nigeria cards business. These people later employed more people who were mentored by the older sets about the vision of the MD and thus the vision was shared and passed on. The whole establishment function as a unit and before long, started dictating the pace in the market. This buttress the issue of raising leaders and working as a team. It always pays to invest in people and to bring the people working as a unit

F. The qualities of a dream team coach are:
* Choosing players or team members well.
* Constantly communicating game plan.
* Taking time to huddle.
* Knows players preference.
* Excel in problem solving.
* Provides the support needed for success.
* Commands the respects of the players
* Gives opportunity according to capability and past performance.
* Continue to win.
* Understands the levels of the players.
* Delegates.

I dreamt of being a dream coach, a mentor, someone to be looked to for direction and leadership. I see the traits of a good coach in some of my managers and I feel some are quite deficient in this area. I have seen those who become successful on the job and in their personal life as being those ones who take time to cultivate these virtues of a dream coach. My present leader is a good coach who gives time to understudy each of us and gives us opportunities to take up challenges. I have been greatly blessed by this. I am also looking into being a dream coach, though young and still have a lot to learn from so I can be the best that I want to and dream to be.

G. The thought of a leader: A leader think big, thinks in terms of other people, think continually, think bottom line, thinks without lines, thinks in terms of intangibles, think quickly.
As said in the book, how big we think determines the size of our accomplishments. Our success is only as great as our goals. Leaders are known with big goals and our goals are determine by our thinking. As a developing leader I need to think big. See that all things are possible to them who depend on the ability of God to help those who aspire to do great things for his glory.

The present president of Nigeria is a person who started as a young boy without no shoes most times on, he believe in hard work and discipline. He aspires for great things even at early age. He was wonderfully and divinely helped by God as he moved from being a deputy governor of a rural state, to becoming the governor after the then governor was found to be corrupt, he was later picked by his party as a vice president. He continued with the then president forthrightly working hard and impacting lives. By divine providence, the then president became sick and died leaving the stage for this great leader and thinker to be sworn in as Nigeria President. Such is life when we aspire with great thought and a will to serve and develop others, life most times turn back to smile at us with people getting committed and handsomely serving and enriching our life.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Closeness to people of positive influence.
I am determining to choose more positive people around so that together we can impact each other. I am setting up an evaluation list of people close to me so I can check who to get more close to and who to refrain from as I aspire to doing great things positively.

The stretch needed.
I am presently being stretch as I have commitment to self, work, church and the society. There are times that I feel I am almost being stretch beyond my convenience but I have learnt that I sometimes need to be stretch a little beyond my perceived limits and I am making commitment not to complain but rather to do all I can to achieve whatever task I need to do

The virtues of a leader.
By the grace of God, I want to daily check myself against the word of God to see that I cultivate and sustain godly virtues not only for leadership aspiration but generally as a rule of life as I know that flaws, indiscipline, indolence, self satisfaction base on low living, sometimes come in subtly into the life of a man and gently twine itself round the man until it gradually stifles life out of the man. I am making more commitment to living by the grace of God daily and aspiring for something greater each day.

Growth plan.
I am presently going to check through my growth plan. I found that I had this growth plan right when I was young but I feel I need to do an overhaul on the growth plan as I need to adjust so as to accommodate greater vision and accomplishment

Forming a team.
I have a unit that I have been struggling with to raise as a team but it has been difficult as personality and the people involve are different and diverse. In the book I have seen some things to implement personally and as a unit to improve on our being a team. I am also going to work as a team member with greater commitment than before.

Leader’s thought.
I am going to invest time and resources to enhance leadership thought by listening to and learning from leaders within and without. I will strive to have a daily, weekly and monthly assessment of my thought in line with leadership and godly fulfillment

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

A. “You can take my factories, burn up my buildings, but give me my people, and I will bring my business right back again”.

This is very challenging as I have a semblance in my company here with the MD. I feel she would most likely say the same thing. I want to follow their leadership nurturing pattern.

B. “Unless a man undertakes more than he possibly can do, he will never do all he can do.”

I believe this is true and I am preparing to accept challenges and to allow them stretch me…

C. “Great leaders are never satisfied with current levels of performance. They move beyond the status quo themselves, and they ask the same of those around them”.

I am prepared to move up higher and not to be satisfied with the status quo in evry area of my life.

D. “One of the realities of life is that if you can’t trust a person at all points, you can’t truly trust him or her at any point”.

This is hard but it is true. I only wonder how one is to go about this if you have to work with a person and yet you can’t truly trust him on every point.

E. “You were born to be a winner, but to be a winner you must plan to win and prepare to win”.

I am more determined to win. I feel encourage to believe in the inner winner instinct in me and I am ready to win

F. “You can buy a man’s time, you can buy his physical presence at a given place, but you cannot buy enthusiasm, you cannot buy loyalty, you cannot buy the devotion of hearts, minds, or souls”.

I feel every leader needs to hear and understand this.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I agree with most of the thoughts express in the book.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, I completed quite a number of the exercise and I found them extremely helpful. Some of the exercises are still ongoing.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

Becoming A Person of Influence
Assessment by Obarinu Sunday Abidemi (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book shows the power of influence and the need for positive influence. It x-rayed the ingredients of a positive influence, encourages one to be an influencer and also get committed to raising other positive influencers.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

A. The seven ideas which were personally most important to me are:

It makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanent success. Only basic goodness gives life to technique.

Much of the world woes were caused by influencers who themselves have integrity issues, trust problems or very damaging character flaws. An influencer must be someone that can be trusted and depended on for integrity. The salient point in the idea above is that before influence, there must be first an establishment of trust and integrity.

A popular bank CEO in Nigeria was once revered and respected for his commitment to work and his serious religious inclinations. The bank was rated as one of Africa’s fastest growing and progressive bank with accolades both from home and away. The bank sponsors many social crusades on corruption and moral decadence. I was a follower of this successful story and was glad for the life of the man. However, an audit by the central bank of Nigeria on the bank shows that many corners were being cut; loans in billions of naira were given out with shareholders fund without collaterals. These loans were reported in the audit to have been given to family members and business friends associates without strict adherence to bank ethics as to given loans. The bank was almost going under but for the timely intervention of the central bank of Nigeria which bailed out the bank with tax payers money. This is a case of success built on insincerity and dishonesty. Presently, the CEO is being arranged before a court in Nigeria by the Economic Financial Crime Commission on several count of dishonesty and sharp practices outside the ethics of banking.

This is helping me to know that integrity and trust is key To success and influence. I am daily committed to maintaining integrity with the help of God. I aspire and presently influence young minds around me, and I am striving to influence them with the foundation of Integrity and trust

B. Take time to express your love and appreciation for the people close to you. Tell them how much they mean to you. Write them notes telling them how much you care. Give them a pat on the back and when appropriate, a hug. Don’t ever assume that people know how you feel about them. Tell them. Nobody can be told too often that he or she is loved.

Appreciation and expressions of love cannot be too much. I have had my share of life’s worry, but I will ever remember the greatest love story that God love us so much he created this beautiful world for us and sent his son for redemption of mankind. The mere perception of divine love on our lifes gives strength, courage and support in distressful times. We also should appreciate and love others to give them strength, courage and support. Nobody influences others without first appreciating them and getting committed to loving them.

One of my strongest points in life has been my three closest friends. These people love sincerely and are willing to go out of their way to render help in times of need. I am very grateful for all their inputs and influence on my life. I met them in the Christian fellowship where I worshipped, and on interacting, we bonded to become close friends. They are faithful to tell me things I needed to hear, advice when they sense danger, support when they see weakness and encourages when progress is made. Together we have been able to influence young minds, impact the society positively and presently raising god fearing homes and families.
At work, I am also imbibing the culture of appreciating and loving people around me. I have known that everybody needs some form of encouragement to perform the best. A song writer put it this way:

Out in the darkness of sorrow and sin, somebody needs your love;
Many are helpless, and wait for your call; somebody needs your love;
Someone is tempted to turn from the right; somebody needs your love;
Some are down-hearted, in sorrow they roam; somebody needs your love;
Somebody needs your love,
Somebody needs your love,
Someone in sadness,
Yearning for gladness,
Somebody needs your love;

C. We all live under the same sky, but we don’t all have the same horizon. As an influence, you have the goal of helping others see beyond today and their current circumstances and dream big dreams.

I will illustrate this truth by an experience I had as a youth with a student leader called Brother Peter. He was one man that greatly influence many youths when I was young. Brother Peter had a purpose and goal: to influence young minds for God’s glory and mankind’s benefit.

He taught and modeled us into setting goals for our spiritual life and social life. Many youths under him then were crude, raw and difficult. But, he continued tirelessly to teach and follow up on each youth. Many of these youths are now captains of industry, social crusaders and men and women of God in diverse churches. He made us see beyond the present into the future.
He raised many of us as influencers. Presently, I am doing the same work with some young minds in my locality. I hold talks, discussion and teachings on setting goals, achieving academic success and living godly among the youths, and it has been successful. Many youths in my country are wasting away in thuggery, cults, immorality and poverty. Positive influencers are needed to channel and direct these youths into more productive and progressive life, I am committed to being one.

There are many that we have pull out of drunkenness, immorality and violence. As group with my friends, we are still passionate to help more of these youths find peace here on earth and thereafter.

D. Guidelines to follow to increase my understanding of others as I listen:
1. Listen with understanding.
2. Listen with the intent of understanding.
3. Listen for the message and the message behind the message.
4. Listen for both content and feelings.
5. Listen with your eyes – your hearing will be improved.
6. Listen for others’ interest, not just their position.
7. Listen for what they are saying and not saying.
8. Listen with empathy and acceptance.
9. Listen for the areas where they are afraid and hurt.
10. Listen as you would like to be listened to.

I have been working on these guidelines to improve my understanding of people. Understanding people is key to influencing them, people will generally open up to the one that cares and shows understanding of their needs, fears and cares. I believe the guideline is a well thought of and it should help me in listening to understand.

Sometime in the past, I have had problems with my managers either because they were not listening to me to understand me or I was not opening up enough for them to help me. I thank God that relationships are better now as I have learnt to listen and has improve in understanding people and people understanding me.

E. It is the capacity to develop and improve their skills that distinguishes leaders from their followers. In your preparation to take on the task of helping others enlarge themselves, the first thing you need to do is improve and enlarge yourself because only when you are growing and enlarging yourself are you able to help others do the same.

A leader carries enormous responsibilities, but amidst these responsibilities, he must find time to upgrade and update himself. Leadership sometimes could be very absorbing and if the leader is not careful enough, he could be so absorbed as not to pause and ponder about upgrade and updates.

This is one area I really need to have a better impact in my society and on those that I lead. I don’t want to be complacent and follow routine day after day. I have to find better way of handling things, better way of dealing with things. I must equip myself with new ideas for the work I do and the people I lead.

One of the things I have seen in some of my leaders is stagnancy. I don’t want this repeated with me. Though updating sometimes could be difficult when you are involve in a very absorbing work like mine, but decadence that sets in with time could be very revealing, therefore I have drawn up plans to enlarge and keep myself growing. This is one reason why despite my tight schedule I am committed to IIGL which is a very good avenue to upgrading.

I have also drawn up growth plan for my life and work. I have specific period to meditate and review my life and it has been quite helpful. This has been having impact on me, work and people that I lead.

F. Nine steps for connecting with people:
1. Don’t take people for granted
2. Possess a make-a-difference mind set.
3. Initiate movement toward them.
4. Look for common ground.
5. Recognize and respect differences in personality.
6. Find the key to others’ lives.
7. Communicate from the heart.
8. Share common experiences.
9. Once connected, move forward.

You can connect with people and lead them only if you value them. I once worked for an organization that only cares how money comes in and not after the people. Most of the people only try to outwit each other and they never worked as a team. The reason? because the leader within the company did not connect with people working with him. I only spent some few months there as I felt I won’t be productive in the long run. After just some few months I found most of the people I left behind in the company had also left. Connecting with people is key to making them useful for themselves and the society. Also to influence I believe one has to draw near, empathize and share with the person being influenced. I look at the nine step to connecting people and I found I had used them in some way before and it had worked. I am looking forward to re-exploring these steps into influencing those around me who needed to be mentored and modeled.

G. How to empower others to their potential:
1. Evaluate them
2. Model for them.
3. Give them permission to succeed.
4. Transfer authority to them.
5. Publicly show your confidence in them.
6. Supply them with feedback.
7. Release them to continue on their own.

As I want to empower an identified team, in this case my team members at work and some of the youths that I pastor at church, I want to first evaluate their skills, knowledge and desire. We are all gifted in different areas and in different ways, identifying the person of the person is key to modeling and empowering. I was taught a perceived dull boy. The parents believes the boy is of low IQ and were almost giving up on his education before they talked with me in the school where the boy attends as I taught in the school then. I told them I will arrange a special coaching period for the boy. I spent time to connect with the boy, study his skills and evaluated his level. I painstakingly took him through some rudiments of basic mathematics and general science which was the problem then. After a short while, the boy picked up and was having good and excellent result in the same school.

Years after, I met him as a college boy preparing for his undergraduate admission. He was so happy to see me and told me his success story till then.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Making integrity and trust the bedrock and foundation for influence.

I am daily committed to maintaining integrity with the help of God. I aspire and presently influence young minds around me, and I am striving to influence them with the foundation of Integrity and trust. I am daily examining myself under the law of God to maintain integrity before God and man.

Appreciation and love to others.

I am imbibing the culture of appreciating and loving people around me. I am making commitment to love and appreciate those around me. I pray everyday to appreciate those around me more, to look for the good in them and to help them when help is needed.

Helping others see beyond today and their current circumstances and dream dreams.

I have some people around me at work, at home and at church. I am committing myself to helping those that need modeling and mentoring. I want to specifically choose some to mentor in whatever capacity that will help them.

Listening to understand.

I want to be a better listener. I believe I can improve in my understanding of people. I want to put the steps to use and see my relationship improves as I practice this.

Growing and enlarging myself.

I see the need to enlarge and continue to grow. I feel I have been absorbed by my daily routine, and the book as help me to re-evaluate my growth plan once again. I believe I am going to start working on it from this month. I work as a unit head in my place of work, and I cannot afford not to develop as others will only continue to learn from me when I am improving myself.

Connecting with people.

I am looking forward to re-exploring the steps into influencing those around me who needed to be mentored and modeled.

Empowering others.

I am working on empowering others under me and watching them improve and becoming an influence.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment on them.

I found the following quotes both inspiring and challenging:

A. “Many succeed momentarily by what they know; Some succeed temporarily by what they do; but few succeed permanently by what they are”. I want to be among those that succeed by what they are. I need to be a man of integrity.

B. “Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me and I may not like you. Ignore me and I may not forgive you. Encourage me and I will not forget you”

Encouragement is what everyone craves for. The best of people still need encouragement and I am prepare to give it.

C. “The least important word: i
The most important word: we
The two most important words: Thank you
The three most important words: You are forgiven
The four most important words: What is your opinion?
The five most important words: You did a good job
The six most important words: I want to understand you better”.

I am prepared to use the understanding in the meaning of these words.

D. “The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them: a man may live long yet live very little”.

This is hard but it is true. It is not how far but how well.

E. “It makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanent success. Only basic goodness gives life to technique”.

I believe in leaders having a foundation of integrity and trust.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I agree with the thoughts express in the book.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, I completed some exercise and I found them extremely helpful. I am still going though some and yet to assess myself on them.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

 

 

 

Real Magic

Assessment by: Obarinu Sunday Abidemi

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book reveals the power of positive living with faith, purpose and possibilities. This is the real magic, that you can access infinite power through your inner spirit and accomplish magic daily by having the right attitude, spending ones life for a purpose and having faith in the divine grace resident in us. When we are able to do this, our lives will be lived in health, bliss, grace, fulfillments and success.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

A. Meditation: Key to personal and spiritual development.

I got thrilled by the impulse of meditation. I have known from the Bible that great men who had great power with God and with men all had vibrant meditative life, a time or period they set aside to commune with the divine and also a period of self examination. It is at this period they get into the supernatural and received insights, inspiration and conviction that change their life and the world at large. The author stressed the power in meditation, he pointed out that we need to reach out to our spirit man to dig out it potentials.

I know that meditating on God’s word has been transforming me over the years. I usually spend the first hour of waking up reading the Bible and meditating on it. I have had to go through many trying times and at each time I always get through with prayers and meditating on God’s word. I have also found succor in reading other inspirational talks and books to make me a better man. I remember reading a portion of the Bible which says we should cast all our cares on God for he cares for us. At that time I had just passed out of the college and I need to get a work to move on. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and I went outside my house, sat down on a pavement, and stirred at the Skye. As I look at the Skye, I remembered that portion of the Bible that I have read, I meditated and imagined seeing God, and I started talking audibly out to God. It was such a refreshing time. My worries and anxiety about not getting job disappeared and faith that God was going to do something about it came. Just some few days afterwards, I received a phone call from somewhere calling me to attend an interview. Surprisingly, I had not applied directly to the place but a friend forwarded my CV to the place. After the interview, I was employed with a satisfactory remuneration and a career.

I also have countless experiences of friends around me who had also benefited from taking time out to meditate. I remember a friend who stayed with me for a while. He came from a struggling family, but somehow he had a spiritual encounter in which he came to put is trust in Christ; He then afterwards started a life of meditation. He will take time out to a solitary place meditating and praying, sometime, spending days in the process. From then on his life took a different meaning. He spent time motivating, preaching and teaching youths, undergraduates and others. He got a job with Chevron Nigeria and started a flourishing career. He has been a source of blessing to many lives.

B. The power of active positive thoughts.

Thought forms the basis of our actions. A positive thought life empowers the person to achieve more. Like it has been said, whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve. Dr. Dyer said our mind set create our world. We are to nurture our mind with thought of wellness, believe in the impossible being possible and use our thought to create the magic to life. When we decide to meditate on positive thoughts and consciously strive not to allow any negative thought to nest its eggs on our minds, we then free our reformed mind of its potentials and possibilities. Dr. Dyer advised we take time to believe in those inspired thought which could bring us into the realm of possibilities. All inventions started with thought and meditation on possibilities. We all need to believe in those thoughts that tend to probe the status quo, thought that believe in positive change and thought that dear the impossible.

Dr Dyer said we need to probe our thought and take time to develop a thoughtful life.

I was watching Oprah Winfrey’s show at a time and was thrilled by the story of a woman who had lost a daughter to some unknown assailant. The mother lived in grieve for years, wishing the daughter’s assassin will be found and also hadn’t change her room but kept the room and her things as the years roll by. When she came to the show, she expressed her grieve for those long years and a Doctor asked her what her daughter will feel if she were conscious and could see the way she is living miserably. The Doctor Counsel her to change her thought pattern from that of hatred for the assassin and the inability of law enforcers to get the assailant to that of appreciating the 18 wonderful years and time that the daughter had spent and used wonderfully with her. The statement struck her like lightning. She said she never thought of it that way. It was an eye opener. From a miserable and dull life, she switched to a life of appreciation and reflection on that which is good.

C. Dr. Dyer said every trial has purpose. There is experience to learn in every challenge. One of the failures of our modern time is inability to learn from our mistakes or others. Sometimes we make decision that cause suffering for others and ourselves, which we need to learn from. The ability to learn from mistakes and move one with better judgment leads into a life of magic described by Dr. Dyer.

I heard the case of a top actress in Nigeria. She grew up pampered and spoilt. At an early age, she became pregnant while at the college. One would have thought her life is ended but she learnt from the experience and moved on. She determined that her dream of a fulfilled career would not be derailed. She had the baby, and then faced her studies and career without being distracted as a mother. Now, she has a lustrous career in acting and fashion. She was rated as the best actress in Nigeria at a time.

I also met a man who was a chain smoker. He lived his life on alcohol, girls, and smoking until he went to a Christian gathering. There he was confronted with the eternal and immediate consequence of his decisions. After the meeting, he decided to consecrate himself to God. He quit smoking completely, stopped all forms of vile behaviors, and pursued his career with greater vigor than before.

Now he is a happily married man with many social contributions and donations to help other people like himself.

Every person at one time or the other makes mistake, this mistakes are to teach us and to widen our horizon. Show me a man that had not made mistake and I will tell you that he had not done anything worth living for. From creation till now, men that had been very successful had been those that though made mistake but stood up and move on to accomplish great things for them and the world.

D. Appreciating the good in others

The author also counseled that to live the magic life we must learn to appreciate the good side of everybody. This I believe is a good rule of life. While going through life we will meet different people who posses virtues and qualities that will contribute to our development in some way.

Looking at the positive side of every one makes us live without doubt, believing until we are proved otherwise. We all crave for acceptance. We cherish it when someone gives us that smiley face of approval and care. Some sick folks have been greatly lifted to face life with appreciation and care surrounding them. I have known partners and friends that were separated just because the other person would not care or appreciate. While passing through this world, others your life shall view, show some love, lend a hand. There are thousands living in despair, Never go along with hatred blindness, take a little time to reach for joy and wear a happy face. For each day, determine to enjoy it by looking for the best in every one. Remember the loving look from that colleague, the helping hand of the family member, the contribution of that supportive wife and friend, then your day and life will be real magic.

E. Purpose driven life

I believe purpose form our existence. Dr. Dyer counsels us to live a life of purpose.

He said living without purpose is like a cloud without water, body without heart, automobile without engine. We need to discover the purpose of our existence. What can we contribute to life itself, what space are we meant to fill, what impact are we making to make the world more enjoyable and fulfilling for all.

I was challenged recently in a meeting I attended that boils down to reaching young people in my locality. This young Doctor really motivated me. He came out of school, had some experience with some abandoned children, and decided to help some. He set up an orphanage while he himself was still struggling to make ends meet believing God will supply what he will need to take care of the orphanage. He also chose to take up career with people living with HIV/AIDS. Presently he has six in-patients in his ward that he cares for. I was deeply touched by his passion and selflessness. Now, we are currently working together to form youth friendly services centers to reach out to troubled youth who need counseling and guidance. Immediately after the discussion, I volunteered with some others. Now we will be reaching many youths with issues ranging from drug addiction, smoking, sexual exploitation and immoral perversions, deprivation and academic challenges.

I thank God that I could be part of this as I have always known that I am here to impact young minds and to help them discover a better relationship with God and Man.

F. Personal development

Stagnancy breeds rottenness. The author advised we get committed to personal development. He advised a receptive mind that is willing and ready to explore new ground everyday. I was motivated to always strive to learn something new. In a world of constant change and development one must be ready to open ones mind and stretch it to accommodate new ideas.

Yesterday, I was listening to a radio program where a blind man was being interviewed. It happens that while he was at college, some robbers came and shot at him and some others during a raid. He spent six month in an hospital recuperating. One would have taught it all ended but the man in question went ahead to finish is college studies. He proceeded for first degree, then went again for his masters, and to cap it all, he is rounding up his PhD program in guidance and counseling. This is a blind man, a man left half-dead by armed robbers, a man pitied for total inability, a man the world felt life is ended, a man doctors thought will only be liability for life. He developed and that is a great challenge for me who God still gave the privilege of having sight. How I want to grow and stretch myself everyday to learn and develop. I believe my best is yet to come as I strive everyday to learn, gradually the best in me will be revealed.

G. Living by example

We are to be a doer of virtues, an upholder of principles and a supporter of human dignity and rights. While it is easy to quickly dictate to others, it most times better if we teach or preach with our lives.

I have been greatly challenged by my pastor who always live and teach by example. He consecrated himself to God and has always been passionate about telling other people about God. I really wish to follow in his step.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Meditation: Key to personal and spiritual development.

I want to spend more time meditating. I have a demanding job and sometime the challenge of work and daily cares might push a quality meditating time out, but I have stronger motivation to dig more into meditating for a quality time everyday

The power of active positive thoughts.

I am determined to watch over my thoughts daily and by the grace of God sieve off any unprofitable thought. I want to spend more time on the Bible and it transforming message.

Every trial has purpose.

I want to look at things from the bright side. My challenges at this time are temporary and I don’t want them to tie me down. I want to move and develop in the mist of trials or temptations. I know God has plan of good towards me and not that of evil.

Appreciating the good in others

I will by God’s Grace express more appreciation for those around me and for those life bring me into contact with everyday. I also want to learn to appreciate others more.

Purpose driven life.

I want to pursue my God’s giving purpose with more vigor. I do not want to spend my life without purpose. Every day I want to work towards my big picture.

Personal development.

I am presently checking through my growth plan. I found that I have been on a growth plan right when I was young but I am making adjustment to my growth plan to accommodate greater vision and accomplishment

Living by example.

I want to live by the dictate of the word of God. I do not want to say and not do but I want to do and say. I want to live a disciplined life

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

I found the following quotes both inspiring and challenging:

A. ““How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and be tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life, you will be all of these””.

This is very challenging. I want to exercise myself in this truth.

B. “Be a student…When you are green you grow, when you are ripe you rot.”

I want to exercise my mind everyday to learn something new.

C. “If you want to become acquainted with real magic, fear and doubt as your primary method of learning must be replaced with trust and a strong reliance on internal knowing.”

My Bible tells me not to fear, it also warns me not to doubt. I am committed to having faith in God and believing his promises which are for my good

D. “Life gives exams and unless you learn from your mistakes you are doomed to repeat them”.

This is hard but it is true. I have had to repeat some but I am more determine to pass my life exams by relying on God’s grace.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book contains insight which I am learning from.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

 

 

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Assessment by Obarinu Sunday Abidemi (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book seek to educate individuals, families, business personnel and the general society the principle and values of vision, interdependency and self development. These principles and values are entrenched in the 7 habits postulated which are; be proactive, begin with the end in mind, put first things first, think win/win, seek first to understand, then to be understood, synergize, sharpen the saw.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

a. Admission of ignorance is often the first step in our education, if you don’t let a teacher know at what level you are by asking questions or revealing your ignorance, you will not learn or grow.

Someone once said if you think education is expensive try ignorance. I believe openness to information and knowledge is the key to development. Someone also said a closed mind is the hardest thing to open. Ignorance breeds self defeat. I remember a particular event when I was at the college; I was having trouble with my college Mathematics. Then I was at year four. I then heard of a junior student who was very good at the particular aspect of Mathematics that was difficult for me. I had been struggling with a part of my Mathematics just because there are laws I was not considering. I went to meet the student, told him that I had issues with my Mathematics, the boy was intimidated because he was in year three and also felt I was part of the good students in year four. I assure the boy that I am willing to learn from him and that he should not be intimidated. He arrange a tutorial for me, explained the Mathematics and that really helped me to understand the Mathematics. I knew I had to stoop to conquer and I was not ashamed of a junior coaching me. Many times we are blinded to knowledge by our refusal to open up to areas of divergent views from ours. This makes us opinionated and sometimes blinded to truth. The first habit of effective people I would say is the willingness to accept truth, change and learn. This is the key to being effective.

b. Building relationships portrayed in the P/PC balance is one of the keys into being effective in life and business.

I was very touched with the very experience the author has of arranging date periods with his children. I thought that must be nice and cool. I really wish to practice that as a father. Investing such time qualitatively will really bring about the much needed bonding within families and collectively as a people working together.

I remember an instance in my life when I had some friends. We were actually casual friends at church, with most activity very peripheral in terms of bonding. However, something happened then, four of these friends had an eviction from their rented apartment, and I offered to house them temporarily until they can get their new apartments. What I did then was trivial to me but I had a lasting bonding with them all as a result of this little gesture. We all lived happily together, sharing things and growing very fond of each other. In fact, later in life, they become parts of my inner circle that I share very deep things with. They have elevated me spiritually, morally and financially. I really could tell that when we greased the knife, it cuts more perfectly so also when a relationship is oiled with love, care and intimacy, we reap same in return with trust and dependability.

c. We need to live with the end in mind. To begin with the end in mind means to approach life roles with values and direction clear. It means to be responsible for my own first creation, to re-script myself so that the paradigms from which my behavior and attitude flow are congruent with my deepest values and in harmony with correct principles.

A song writer said “only remembered by what we have done, thus do we pass from this earth and its toilings, only remembered by what we have done”. Beginning with the end in mind is about living with our core values and principles guiding. Without it daily lives are wasted and purposeless. There are millions of people all over the world who live without the end in mind. They live for the moment, and because they have no price tag of values and principles, they are cheap and easy to manipulate and expended. I was encouraged from the book to follow my life creed and I will be willing to advise others to do the same as this has been very beneficial to me over the years. Whatever be the center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power. When these four factors are present together, harmonized and enlivened by each other, they create the great force of noble personality, a balanced character, a beautifully integrated individual.

I especially love the author’s analogue of a burial portray of self. There he asked the reader to picture self as dead, and privileged to hear comment on self at the burial. He then encouraged reader to live in consonant with what those closest to him will say at such an event. I was very touched by these and resolved to live with eternity in view.

d. Private victory precedes public victory. Algebra comes before calculus. Effective relationships need maturity and strength of character to maintain it. Self mastery and self discipline are the foundation of good relationships with others.

Being effective as a person requires inner grace and strength. Some of these inner grace and strength are reflected in the book as (1) understanding other people, (2) attending to little deeds of kindness, (3) keeping to commitments, (4) clarifying expectations, (5) showing personal integrity, (6) apologizing sincerely when mistakes are made.

I learnt that one of the most important ways to manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, we build the trust of those who are present. When you defend those who are absent, you retain the trust of those present.

One of the often seen scenarios at places of work is to see worker idling at work when the managers or superiors are not around, but immediately the bosses come around, you see a beehive of formed activity which are eye service and very superficial.

On understanding other people, I greatly cherish the idea of seeking to understand first and then to be understood. I want to agree that understanding other people takes courage and patience which can only be demonstrated by the strong in character, as averagely every man want the other to understand him. A man that can stoop and listen in order to understand has first conquer that weakness called selfishness.

A mastery of self reflected in honesty, integrity, sincerity, truthfulness, faithfulness and gentleness will prepare a sure ground for private victory with immediate family members, colleagues, coworkers, and others we come into contact with daily.

e. The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do.

Successful people organize and execute around priorities. They have the power, a burning desire, a will to do things when natural default is not to do it. They function on values rather than impulse or desire of a moment.

I had this class mate at college who was very brilliant and use to answer every questions asked by the teachers. He gets more marks than the rest of us in the class then. I was curious to know why he always know, why is he better, why is his knowledge so vast than ours. I didn’t have to search for long, as I stumble on the answer one day. While all other student will immediately leave the class at closing time to go home to eat and relax, I found the boy still staying for another two to three hours reading beyond the class and the teachers. I found this accidentally as I left one of my books at school in the class one day, came back some three hours later and found the boy still in the class with the whole compound deserted. I immediately purposed within myself to do start doing the same, and this really impacted my knowledge as I was always reading ahead of the class. This greatly helped me in the class as I started getting high marks and my knowledge level was higher than the average students.

I believe it takes real strength to be able to do this, there are times when I will feel sleepy but still persist, there are times when I really want to play like other students but I will remember the maxim “first thing first”, and that will spur me on. I thank God I am the better for it today. I am still trying to do those extra efforts to be outstanding and I do encourage people around me as well that time management in the order of priority pays good dividend.

f. The effective interpersonal leadership requires the vision, the proactive initiative and the security, guidance, wisdom, and power that come from principle-centered personal leadership embodied in the win/win attitude.

The author stated that character moves along with relationship, out of which agreement flows. This agreement is nurtured in an environment where structure and systems are based on win/win. In a win/win agreement, both parties benefits and makes progress. I especially like the way the author defines integrity as the value we place on ourselves, and maturity has the balance between courage and consideration. I worked in an environment where every part is sectionalized. This genders differences, stiff competition and rivalry among the sections. I often seen managers going on each others jugular in the quest to win at all cost. I was particularly touched with the idea that we can all always win. The idea that even in stiff competitions as ours, we can come around to look holistically at an issue and proffer the win/win balance for each person involved.

An agreement means very little in letter without the character and relationship base to sustain it in spirit. We need to approach win/win from a genuine desire to invest in the relationships that make it possible. A desire to always have the interest of agreeing party in focus too.

g. Synergy: The essence of synergy is to value differences – to respect them, to build on strengths, to compensate for weakness. When you communicate synergistically, you are simply opening your mind and heart and expressions to new possibilities, new alternatives, new options.

I remember an incident that happened in my company at a time. My MD wanted us to have a retreat through which we will come up with the company’s vision and mission. I thought it would be a boring retreat with all the boredom of series of formalized and rehearsed presentations.

When we started the meeting, the facilitator grouped us into teams comprising of five to seven individuals from different units. We first talk about the business itself, the problems and the potentials in it. After this discuss, we then were to find a vision and mission for the company. This means that each group of will come up with different visions and missions through which we then find a common ground among all to imbibe. It was a really exciting time, I have not been that excited before. I wanted to be part of this. I thought, strategized and synergized with others during the three day events to come up with the best vision and mission I thought appropriate for the company. At the end of the retreat we arrived at a generally acceptable vision and mission statement. It was nice to be involved in a vision one is part of. I believe most of the workers were very committed to this vision because they were part of the draft. Synergic energy is released when people are carried along and giving a sense of belonging.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Admittance of ignorance and the willingness to know.

I am determined to open my mind to knowledge that will positively influence and challenge me towards a better living and fulfillment of divine purpose. Building lasting and enduring relationships through P/PC balance.

I am committed to building better relationship. While I know the pressure of everyday tends to make one focus on now, I have resolved to be more committed to the relationships around me. I want to be more involved in caring, loving and relating with other people around me.

Living with the end in mind.

I was particular touched with the idea of living with the end in mind. I long to please God and to live eternally with him. I know that to live eternally with God, I must have clean hands and pure mind. I am prepare to live an abundant life with love, care, joy and faith overflowing from my heart and mind.

Living and overcoming in private victory.

I am making commitment to have self discipline, integrity, faithfulness and truth by the grace of God. This will help me to have private victory which will further help me in getting public victory. I want to daily overcome temptation to do wrong, to always stand for the right and to live with the best of influence on others.

Doing things other won’t want to do.

I want to be successful. For this to be achievable, I am willing to pay prices that may not be easy. I am willing and will do want needs to be done with persistent and courage. I will read more, study more, and do more to achieve more.

Win/win.

I want to live with the principle of Win/win. I am purposed to strike a dual beneficial balance in any agreement or interaction with anyone. I want to win and also make others to win with me. I have people working as my subordinates, and I want to create an atmosphere of win/win around me and in all we do so that we can all be champions.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment on them.

I found the following quotes both inspiring and challenging:

A. “What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say”.

I need to be committed to doing more than saying.

B. “You can be active in a church but inactive in its gospel.”

I want to always live by God’s grace and not by church dogma.

C. “Without involvement, no commitment”.

I want to involve those working with me more in decision making, since I know the more involved they are the more committed they will be.

D. “The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do”.

This is true and I am resolved to do those things which scare many.

E. “If you want to get something done, give it to a busy man”.

I was trilled by this. I once heard my leader said that once and I cannot but agree with them

F. “Keeping a commitment or a promise is a major deposit; breaking one is a major withdrawal”.

I want to always live by keeping my promises

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I agree with most of the thoughts express in the book.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, I completed quite a number of the exercise and I found them extremely helpful. Some of the exercises are still ongoing.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

 

 

Goals
Assessment by Obarinu Sunday Abidemi (Nigeria)

What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

Goal is a book that touches ones soul, makes one to see the unlock potentials resident inside one, throws out rays of grace on how to let out the potentials with principles of goal setting and goal achieving. It also touches on success that is built around an enduring and lasting relationship with all people that makes ones world. While discussing this, it offers exercises for the body and soul as a guide and monitor in achieving an extraordinary happy life.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. Pause and think goals.

We can create a wonderful world that we desire. Much of what we do in life is more of rat race with no definite goal in mind. Many work day by day longing and wishing with no time to pause and ponder, no time to think and plan, no time to look and observe, no time to hear and meditate while time ticks and ticks until the hand of time is stopped for each person by the inevitable hand of death with much of life lived in much suffering, struggling and disappointment. “Goals” makes me to pause from the rat race and to stop and think. What do I really want from life, how do I get it: fulfillment, happiness, prosperity, enduring relationship, booming business endeavors, lasting grace of a transformed life prepared for the hereafter. After reading “Goals” I had renewed zeal to think on my goals, make them plain and run with them.

I remember the story of my Pastor in my church, he had a rough beginning. The parents were peasants who desired a better life for their children. He was the first born of all the siblings of his parents. Early in life, he lived life care freely, with the notion that whatever will be will be. He would leave studies, go to play ground and played all his time out, he would go to one of the churches were they beat drums and dance all day. In fact, he became one of the trouble makers in the class and was fast relapsing into one of the dullest pupils in the whole school, sometimes scoring complete zero in subject like algebra, etc. This gave the parent concern as they see their first born fast turning to an aimless, carefree never-do-well person. They gave much persuasion and discipline but all to no avail. But something happened in his fourth grade. He had a pause and think experience. It just happens that some teacher has been calling him names to deride him. In a moment, he recalls all the deriding names, and wonders why he seems to know nothing. He taught about his life and was struck by the thought that he can change everything; yes he can start by being a better student. It was a life transforming experience, and he was going to act. He decided for that semester break that he was not going to go home like the other students, but will wait to write and read all outstanding notes that he had neglected; he was going to read and aim at definite goals and grades. He took a note, wrote all the subjects at school, pegged each subject with his desired grades and stuck this to the front desk of his seat. That was the turning point for a student that later graduated with one of the best grades in his school, a student that went to the premier university in Nigeria and had a first class result that stood unbeaten for many years, that was the student that started a church with the largest single congregation in Africa, that was the student that pause and ponder to change history of himself and the world.

ii. Create the mental equivalent.

My focus must be on creating the beliefs within myself that are consistent with the great success I want to achieve in my outer world. That means I need to visualize my goals, internalize them, reject every self limiting beliefs and act with action that consistently move me towards my goals. “Goals” taught the principle of see it, seize it. You need to see the champion in you conquering, the scientist in you discovering, the philosopher in you exploring and discovering. You become what you see and think about most of the time; therefore most achievers see the goals before they get there. They see themselves in that desired business prospering, they see themselves enjoying that relationship they long for, they see themselves enjoying blissful and blooming health day by day because they know that to experience it you must believe it is possible, you must see it happening, then eventually you experience it. I see it as the same principle taught by the Bible when it says “Faith is the substance of things of hope for, the evidence of things not seen.” There are countless friends and people around that have experience this.

I have had friends who came from abject poverty to wealth just because they rejected a life of misery and penury; they believe the Bible that promises all who life consistently by the true word of God, true prosperity. They see themselves in the light of the promises (goals), they see themselves experiencing these promises and create a mental equivalent of their enjoying the blessings.

I remember an elderly friend who had problems of hypertension and diabetes. He was told by the Doctor that he was fast going down the grave. He did not worry but believe he was going to be well. He would wake up and visualize the hypertension disappearing from his body, he would exercise his body and keep taught of wellness. He will say it, confess it to himself everyday and pronounce the promise of God on healing and in just some few days he was back to normal with sound health to the delight of all around.

iii. Long time perspective.

Long time perspective is the ability to think several years into the future while making decisions in the present. This was stated in “Goals” as the most important determinant of financial and personal success in life. When there are clear goals and ideals, you will feel happier about yourself and your world. You will be more positive and optimistic. You will feel internally motivated to get up and get going every morning because every step you are taking will be moving you in the direction of something that is important to you. Long time perspective brings discipline in the present. It acts as the rail upon which the train can safely move.

I remember the time I started working. I had been living a difficult life at school and for some period after school while still looking for work. When I started working, I always budget my salary with my goals for the future in view. I would live on about 20% of my salary; use about 20% for religious and social commitment, 20% on dependent and other matters but most time reserve 40% of my income for my long time goal. I have plan to own businesses, to be an employer of labor, to live in some convenient areas of my state. But many times I would have personal challenges that warrant my concentrating on the moment, and then I would remember to live with long time perspective. Well I can safely say that I am not too far from my goals after some years have past. I know live in area that is convenient for me, I have little business of my own and I am still believing that my present decisions will still take me to that pinnacle of success I desire.

I also see the principle of long time perspective in my relationship. I remember when I had immoral advances from the opposite sex during my teen age. I always remember to think long time consequences. I would run away literally for dear life and future knowing that present actions determine future realities. Now I am happy to be in commitment that is based on mutual love, trust and respect for each other.

iv. Desire

Desire! That which separate the boys from the men, that which separate the leaders from the followers, that which separate the breadwinner from the dependent, that which separate nation builders from the population. Desire! Life will be meaningless without it, life will be dull and uninteresting without it, life will be boring and monotonous, relationship will be burdensome and conflicting, and nation will be full of darkness and ineptitude.

The great question will must ask ourselves is what do I as a person really want to do in my life. What do you really want for yourself in your heart of hearts? What would you be most excited or enthusiastic about achieving personally? If you could accomplish only one goal in the whole world and you were absolutely guaranteed success at that one goal, what one goal would it be? The intensity of our personal desire will determine the amount of energy and determination we put behind any goal you set for yourself? What do you as a person want, and how badly do you want it? If the desire is strong enough and has corresponding faith that can be translated into action, then you are on your way to greatness, to a life of fulfillment and success.

I remember a friend in my teenage years. We were both going through a street, when all of a sudden we stumble on a person talking to some Christian group on the street. I remember my friend vividly saying aloud that he was also going to be a leader talking to people both in the religious and social circle. Now, about fifteen years had past and he is now a great speaker on stocks and real estate. He has reason to be one of the choice speakers in many assemblies. Every time I see him now, I always remember those words, how he spoke his desire out then and worked at it until it materializes.

v. Become an expert in your field.

Commitment to excellent is one fundamental point that help in realizing a fulfilling goal. Goals must be supported, nurtured and nursery with the pivotal point of excellence. Like “Goals” said, in our economic system, your income will be determined by three factors: first, what you do; second, how well you do it; and third, the difficulty of replacing you.

In my company today, many have come and gone. There are those who were fired by the company and there are those who fired the company, a few drag along with the company barely surviving, some with excellence service glide as gladiators with robust and enriching benefits. I want to be part of the gladiators. Gladiators are committed to excellence; they are expert in their field. They cannot easily be fired because it takes time to find them. Excellence is a virtue scarce, and one will be lucky to have a few around. Commitment to excellence separates the professionals from amateurs; it separates those who are willing to go the extra mile from those that wait for luck to come begging by.

I see commitment to excellence in quality products that stand for generations, I see expertise in nation’s builder who wants to do more than survive but want to impact. Expertise at work, which is what the employers want to pay for, that, is what we make the employer to think twice before any thought of disengagement, even in crises. Excellence, that is what the fan wants to pay for when they watch that football match, that is what the coach expects from the players. Excellence that should be the pursuit of all in all endeavors.

vi. The three key to peak performance: Commitment, completion and closure

Commitment is putting aside all excuses, stepping on the accelerator towards a set goal with determination and focus with a resolve never to let go until a goal is achieved.
Completion is the second ingredient in peak performance. There is an enormous difference between doing 95 percent of a task and doing 100 percent of the task. You must continually force yourself, discipline yourself to resist this natural tendency and push through to completion.

Closure is the difference between an “open loop” and a “closed loop”. Bringing closure to an issue in your personal or business life is absolutely essential for you to feel happy and in control of your situation. Lack of closure in unfinished business, an incomplete action of any kind is a major source of stress, dissatisfaction, and even failure in business. It consumes enormous amounts of physical and emotional energy.

A goal without deadline is merely a wish. Commitment, completion and closure will make you achieve a little at a time until the ultimate goal is achieved.
Presently, this year in my company, goals and targets were stressed. The operations manager drives us into forming targets for ourselves and subordinates. This had pushed us the middle managers to commitment and completion of specific tasks. These tasks are being measured weekly to form part of our overall appraisal at the end of the year. This endeavor really worked as people hitherto lackadaisical in attitude suddenly became committed and completed specific tasks.

vii. The theory of constraints: fear and doubt.

The theory as stated in “Goals” states that between you and anything you want to accomplish, there is a constraint, or limiting factor, that determines how fast you get to where you want to go. In accomplishing any major goal, there is always a constraint or bottleneck you must get through as well. Your job is to identify it accurately and then focus all of your energies on alleviating that key constraint. Your ability to remove this bottleneck or deal with this limiting factor can help you move ahead faster than perhaps any other step you can take.
The two major obstacles or bottleneck to success and achievement are fear and doubt. You have within you right now, all the intelligence and ability you will ever need to overcome any obstacle that could possibly hold you back. Most fear and doubt arises out of ignorance and feelings of inadequacy of some kind. The more you learn what you need to know to achieve your goals, the less fear you will feel on the one hand and the more courage and confidence you will feel on the other hand.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Pause and think goals.
I want to unlock my potentials by taking time to have a daily, weekly and monthly recess to re-assess my potentials. I sometimes get carried away with the usual hustle and bustle of day to day activity to the neglect of a quality time to pause and think in order to re-asses. Meditative break is what I intend to put in my schedule to always re-asses myself and my goals.

Create the mental equivalent.
I have a friend who will take some days off work and family, to some religious campground to find time to meditate on his goals, and I think it worked for him. I intend to take time out every day to do reflective picturing of my goals. I want to daily create a mental picture of myself with that loving wife and happy home, I want to see myself leading and directing my businesses, I want to see myself offering some training and coaching to others around me. I believe taking some few moments off busy schedule will help me in achieving this.

Long time perspective.
Every year I write out what I intend to achieve for that year in a sheet of paper. I take time to pray to God to give me strength and help in accomplishing this for that year. This had been my usual routine for every New Year, but I am moving one step forward into breaking it down into monthly goals so I can better track my long time goal. I see this has already working for me as I invest more in relationship, in endeavors that benefits the future.

Desire.
I cannot but ask myself what I really want after reading goals. I have had goals written year after year but reading “Goals” made me question my goals again. I checked to see if I am really after definite goals, I wanted to know if I still retain the path to the goals have defined. I sat down to redefine my goals again. This had given me renewed energy to continue in the path of attaining them. Everyday I longed for new way of improving myself, new method of achieving faster. I wanted to keep my desire growing everyday.

Become an expert in your field.
It was refreshing to know that I can be all I want to be, I can be the expert at what I do, I can always enlarge my capacity and ability. Goals taught me to be professional, it showed me that this will be the main reason why I would be kept for long at my work, why I will be offer more on what I do. I am presently looking at ways to better what I do. I have had to sat down and replanned myself and my unit. Goals had made me to start looking for new ways of improving the processes in my unit and now I am on the path of making myself an expert in what I do.

The three key to peak performance: Commitment, completion and closure.
I was seriously challenged to always complete any task till closure. I have had to start some business and quit after some initial challenges, but “Goals” had made me resolve to go back with ignited zeal to follow through to completion and closure. Presently there is a business venture that seems too big for me, I wanted to start a water bagging company in my village because I noticed that most of the villagers live on stream water and some few on bagged or bottled water brought several miles away. After starting for a while, I thought on quitting as I needed to erect a whole building, get some accreditation and machinery. This was too expensive for me based on what I earn and the various commitment I have. But now, I have resolved not to give up but to strengthen my believe that this project will be done and it is achievable.

The theory of constraints: fear and doubt
I want to live with more courage and less fear and doubt. I believe God is able to strengthen me to overcome all obstacles.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes from the book which really got your attention? If so, please list and comment on them.

I found the following quotes both inspiring and challenging:

A. “You become what you think about most of the time”.
This is very challenging as I have resolved to think only on things that will move me towards my goals.

B. “When you are living in complete alignment with what you consider to be good and right and true, you will automatically feel happy and positive about yourself and your world.”

I believe this is true and I am going to align my living with that which I believe is true, right and good.

C. “The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible”.

I have resolved to always try with faith that it is do-able.

D. “If you want to fly with the eagles, you cant continue to scratch with the turkeys”.

I believe I need to leave off staying with the turkeys but move on with the eagles that are all around me..

E. “Character is the ability to follow through on a resolution after the enthusiasm with which the resolution was made has passed”.

I understood character more by this definition

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I agree with most of the thoughts expressed in the book.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, I completed quite a number of the exercise and I found them extremely helpful. Some of the exercises are still ongoing.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

Nonviolent Communication
Assessment by Sunday Obarinu (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey is the mastery of that type of communication that leads us to give from the heart, connecting us with ourselves and with each other in a way that allow our natural compassion to flourish. This type of communication he termed the Non Violent Communication (NVC)

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. We perceive relationships in a new light when we use NVC to hear our own deeper needs and those of other.

Reading and understanding the Non Violent Communication process has given me new light into how to best express myself in such a way that I will be heard compassionately and also responds to others too in the same way. This has been of help in my relationships at home, work, church and in the society. It has been both exciting and challenging at the same time as before now, I have often communicated in a different most often non compassionate way. I have tried using the NVC process in my communications and it has greatly helped in reducing resistance and defensiveness from my colleagues. It has increased openness and sincerity in communications. I used the NVC process to handle a situation at work with my subordinate colleagues at work. They have been increasing resistance to carrying out work related instructions and I immediately tried using the NVC process to engage them. The result was instant. Instead of the usual demand or command on work, I went the request way while empathising where they refuse. This really made us work together to resolve some lingering issues around our work. I saw that one of the reason why they resisted some of the earlier communications was that they perceived them as more of selfish commands but when they felt that their own needs on the work are being heard and addressed , they were more open to taking up challenges and resolving them.

ii. Certain ways of communicating alienate us from our natural state of compassion.

This is actually true as I have had some experience in the past with life-alienating communications. While working as a supervisor of a unit within a company, I found that I was increasingly blaming and criticizing for most of the time that I was communicating. This affected my relationship with my colleague who felt I should learn to appreciate them and not major on my own perceived shortcomings of their actions. This was a display of a moralistic judgments on my part. I have learnt from the book to remove a moralistic judgment in my communications and it has greatly helped. This has taken some retrospections and praying as inner disposition of past moralistic tendencies had left impressions on others to view my communications as being judgmental. I believe removing this from my communications had really helped my communications to others.

iii. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable by expressing our feelings can help resolve conflicts.

As a supervisor in a unit, my associate colleagues tend to have a larger than life view of me. They feel I am experienced, hard-working, grounded and almost perfect at work. This has made me to sometimes un-express my vulnerabilities so as not to weakened my perceived image. I have for most times appeared logical, rational and un-emotional though with deep-seated hidden needs and vulnerabilities. I needed some of my associates to take up more roles as I was already being overwhelmed, but in order not to be seen as dodging responsibilities I continually accommodated my associates’ tendencies to push work to me. I was having an inner conflict with a perceived egoistic image of hard-worker and a decaying health challenges due to overwhelming work stress. This continue for a while, until I muster some courage to express my vulnerabilities and my need for others to take up more roles so as to ease the burden of activity on me. After expressing my vulnerabilities and my need of a more relaxed working condition for an ailing health, I was overjoyed to see some of my colleagues who had previously shun commitment to work rose up and took up more responsibilities out of empathy and a NVC process usage.

iv. The more directly we can connect our feelings to our needs, the easier it is for others to respond compassionately.

Like explained in lesson 3, I clearly saw that my colleague could actually help if I connect my feelings to a need instead of internalizing and mourning within. Many times, I have not properly connect a feeling to a need. I may not even give others the chance to even know what I need for my feelings. I was to go for a vacation at work, and I was really afraid of the capability of my unit members to hold the ground while I was away. I have not gone on a long vacation like that before and I was feeling afraid of the discipline and commitment of my subordinate unit colleagues while I will be away. I called a meeting before the commencement of my leave and express my fear of going on a vacation. I told them that I am concern about their maintaining discipline and commitment while I am away, that their not maintaining concentration, discipline and commitment while I am away might give the impression that they were not capable if I was not around from my managers but that I believe in their ability and their level of maturity to handle things while I am not around. They all understood my fear and shared with me on how they will not be distracted by other things while I was away that they are committed to ensuring high performance maintenance even in my absence. I was very trilled when I got back from my leave to found that they have all pledged amongst themselves to work effectively and efficiently even without me their supervisor. The managers were so thrilled by their performance and wondered what I told them to get that peak performance from them while I was away.

v. We can help others trust that we are requesting, not demanding, by indicating our desire for them to comply only if they can do so willingly.

Leaving in Africa where the norm is more of master and servant, leader and follower, rich and poor, senior and junior in different opposing sides makes demand more of a way of communication than requesting. I have also fallen into this quagmire in time past and many times met with stiff resistance. This is all over the continent of Africa as violence, militancy, terrorism, agitations fill the lands. I have found that compassionate communication is not expressed rather commands, criticism and punishments are daily championed in social interactions which breed more chaos and disorderliness. I found it especially helpful to turn from this demand standpoints and move to actual requesting from people even if I have some comparative advantage over them. And I am finding this helpful with family and people I associate with.

vi. When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters.

I will illustrate this with an experience I had with a lady that worked under me for a period. She came in and met serious hostility from older colleague at work. I was burdened with having to settle quarrels between her and other older colleagues at work. She was often being seen as a monster to work with as she can be loud, frank, insulting and confronting. As the leader over her, I needed to listen to her feelings and needs as I felt that underneath the garment of monster may lie an angel. I had a long talk with her where I express the growing tension between her and other colleagues and how to resolve this. I listened to her express herself with feelings of not being wanted in the unit. I empathize with her needs to be accepted and for her to be herself without being judged by others. I then communicated to her the feelings of dominance and aggression being felt by others. She then empathize with their feelings and promise to heed the other colleagues request of giving them chance to be heard when issues arise on work. After some weeks I found that a deeper bonding has been established between her and the older colleagues who now sees her as a colleague and friends and not as a monster as earlier viewed.

vii. Saying “thank you” in NVC: “This is what you did; this is what I feel; this is the need of mine that was met.”

I was really enlightened by this lesson. I thought just saying “Thank you” communicates all but showing appreciation in the NVC way carries deeper understanding and appreciation. Appreciating with the knowledge of what was done for me, how I felt with what was done and expressing my needs that were met is a new way that I have been using to appreciate people. I actually used this to appreciate my people when I returned from my vacation back to work. I appreciated the team by stating the good output of their work while I was away and the goodwill impact to the company, I told them that allayed my earlier fear of their capabilities and made me proud of them and how this fulfilled my inner needs of having to rely on them when I am not around.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

As discussed in the lessons learnt, I found that the Non violent communications is a good communication process that is going to help me communicate better in my relationships and it will help me contribute to decreasing the chaos, violence and hatred prevalent all around me. I already started applying the process at home. My communication with my wife has improved tremendously as I now communicate by observing on a situation, expressing my feelings, communicating my needs and making a request while at the same time receiving same from them and positively feed backing. I have learned to listen and observe so I can easily understand what is being communicated. I have learnt not to judge but to empathize when others are communicating. I have learnt to listen to others feeling and their needs. I have learned that request are to be made and not demands. And I have also learnt to appreciate in the NVC way.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“The more you become a connoisseur of gratitude, the less you are a victim of resentment, depression, and despair. Gratitude will act as an elixir that will gradually dissolve the hard shell of your ego your need to possess and control and transform you into a generous being. The sense of gratitude produces true spiritual alchemy, makes us magnanimous large soul.”

This was a quote I love as I believe gratitude to God and mankind adds meaning to our existence. I am so grateful I read this and also grateful for all that God has blessed me with and I want to always be grateful for here and a blessed hereafter.

“I feel so sentenced by your words, I feel so judged and sent away, Before I go I’ve got to know Is that what you mean to say? Before I rise to my defense, Before I speak in hurt or fear, Before I build that wall of words, Tell me, did I really hear? Words are windows, or they’re walls, They sentence us, or set us free. When I speak and when I hear, Let the love light shine through me. There are things I need to say, Things that mean so much to me, If my words don’t make me clear; Will you help me to be free? If I seemed to put you down, If you felt I didn’t care, Try to listen through my words To the feelings that we share.”

This quote on words is so powerful. It vividly captures what words not well understand can cause and begs for the need to clarify before concluding what was said and intended. The statement makes me to want to clarify what I have said or heard.

“People are disturbed not by things, but by the view they take of them.”

This is a very good quote as it points out that things when compassionately understood can defuse wrong perceptions and reactions.

“The more directly we can connect our feelings to our needs, the easier it is for others to respond compassionately.”

This quote encourages us to connect our feeling with needs at their roots so needed request can be made and understood. I want to exercise my communication to follow this advise.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes. I attempted all the exercise and found them very helpful.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

The Leader Who Had No Title
Assessment by James S. Trotman (Liberia)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea the author is painting From the book can be window or mirror via these: The leadership philosophy of the Leader Who Had No Title.
The unconventional theory of leadership where the leader is the follower or servant disrobed of his title yet functions well.
You don’t need a title to be leader you are a leader being a human being.
Leading without title and followers yet effective as a leader.
The paradox disorderly orderly fact of leadership where no one is blame or to gain after the game rather everyone is responsible for the spoils of if thing gets spoiled.
The minority strange concept of leadership contrary to our traditional norm yet with temporary application and permanent effect.
permanent effect The lay concept of leadership superior to that of the clergy man in effect. The illegal legal phenomenon of leadership, organization, Institution and structural hieratical wise. Finally, The democratization of leadership a transitional shift in the history of humanity. You don’t need a title to be a leader you are entitled to be a leader!

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. The LWT Psychology of leadership which implies leadership with title

ii. The five rules acronyms teacher of; IMAGE; Innovation, Authenticity; Guts, Ethics.

iii. Turbulent Times Built Great Leaders using the five rules acronym teacher of SPARK
Speak with candor; Prioritize; Adversity Breeds Opportunity; Respond Versus React
Kudos for every one.

iv. The deeper your Relationships, the stronger Your leadership. The Five (5) rules acronym teacher of HUMAN. Human; Understanding; Mingle; Amuse; Nurture.

v. To be a great leader, first Become a Great person

The Acronym teacher of SHINE
Heath is wealth 1. Learning
Inspiration matters 2. Affirmation
Neglect your family 3. Visualization
Elevate your life style. 4. Journaling
5. Goal setting
6. Exercise
7. Nutrition

vi. Leadership and success are siblings that breath n us to produce our best.

vii. Mediocrity is inevitable when leadership not available or attainable and it is more costly to escape leadership that to surrender to the cost of true leadership.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Personally, my life is a kind of organization or institution that must be govern which requires no title for that leadership nomenclature. Secondly, I am a pastor of a church as one of the senior minister and asked to go full-time to confer the resident pastor title upon me of which I personal objected due to some personal reasons best known to myself and would continue my usual service, Therefore, failure on my part after three offers and options to serve full time ruled me out of key decisions and opinions even in organizing some programs. Not with standing, I do see myself as a leader serving but don’t require a resident pastor title to do what I am doing, Thanks a lot for this book that fuels my energy a ability to work or lead with out title.

Besides that, out culture has so much pace an exaggerated premium on title than task thus breeding more opposition from positions. The title of this book serves as a remedy cure and catalyst to cope with such tragic concept of leadership here. Finally, The seven keys points highlighted are not the only points beneficial or helpful to my life now, SEW, seriously exceptional work, The ten (10) human regrets, The 10 human victories, from the tablets at the grave early that morning. The four (4) Natural powers to emerge as a great self leader. S FONAB- The First, The Only, The most, The Best, The keep moving Forward and- KMF

Lastly from the third point concerning relationship and Leadership, I have recruited sound females in my relationship culture for belter understanding women to avoid the second failure in my marriage and a balance View about relationship:
Esther Williams; Gladys Williams; Dorine Cooper; Janet Dolo; Janet Cooper just to list a few!

The most common way people give out is to think they don’t have any Alice Walter. we like power because we fail to think well.

Money influence and position are nothing compared with brains, principles, energy and perseverance, orison sweet madden. The best and better of our lives actually manifest when we east give attention to those things, we other wise thought was mostly wanted! Like don’t seek money to get wealth but ideas and purpose.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Nobody succeeds beyond his or her widest expectations unless he or she begins with some wild expectations.”

Expectation is the true measures of success.

“The sight of a achievement is the greatest gift a human being could offer other.”

Achievement is the ultimate proofs of success and commands respects from mediocre as well as the greatest identify of love in a daring and challenging world.

“Only the mediocre die always at their best. Real leaders are always improving and raising their bar on how superbly they can perform and how Every challenge to a leader is an invitation to present and put out his best at the moment at every and all cost.”

“The most common way people give out is to think they don’t have any.”

We like power because we fail to think well

“Money influence and position are nothing compared with brains, principles, energy and perseverance, orison sweet madden.”

The best and better of our lives actually manifest when we east give attention to those thing, we other wise thought was mostly wanted! Don’t seek money to get wealth but ideas and purpose.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I do appreciate the book and really was touched by the unconventional aspect of leadership that has revolutionized my mind and reignited the hope of being a self true leader with out title. How ever, I don’t disagree rather I just want a further clarity on applying the leadership with out title in a strong traditional age long title leadership or, orientation in institution, The Police, the Military or Religious setting grounded on the opposite of this true philosophy. Just further clarity! For example, in Africa. Even in the family the title leadership grip is so strong, authoritative even abusively defensive. Please help me!

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Surely! The book did contain series of spectacular exercises besides our usual regular oriented questions. Such as; the Instant action steps of being a victim by avoiding the leadership step in my family, finance, forward and freedom life, setting five leadership goals such as indentifying a true mentor in my environment, Identifying my personal mantra at age 40. Propagating the leadership without title philosophy in my culture and the exposure to several conversational mentors such as: Anna, Ty, Jackson and Jet. (ATJ2) finally, Building a strong solid relationship surpassing my quest and thirst for money…Follow more books on Robin Sharma
First, share this book with the first (5) persons
Second, Re-Read this book twice or three times more
Third, monthly browse of www.robinsharma.com

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

Nothing else I can think of.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 8
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

Leadership for Dummies
Assessment by Sunday Obarinu (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey is to show that leadership involves the leader totally engaging the people who report to him/her in their work so that they become committed and contribute fully to achieving the goals, objectives and tasks that have to be completed to enable the group to succeed. This description also provides an insight into the purpose of leadership, which is to positively influence the way that people think, feel and act. In a work context, the purpose of leadership is to influence positively how people think, feel and act so that they become committed to making a valuable contribution to achieving the objectives of their work team, department and organization.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. Leaders set the standard by what they do and not what they say only.

Leading people in many places has been reduced to barking out orders and enforcement of authority. I love the way the writer succinctly explained that leading people entails more than this. It involves more than telling people what to do, it is all about being involved, showing standards, enthusing others to give their best and turning the led to leaders themselves. It is about building a culture of service, setting goals, values and arousing “Yes, we can” attitude as a team. Leaders that lead by example are needed as there is a growing dearth of real leaders in every sphere of our society. We have bad leadership in our political sphere who felt that leading is all about winning gains and power, rewarding self and cronies at the expense of the greater all. The call to serve is now seen as the call to share the national cake, to loot and amass wealth while others suffer and are made redundant, nations impoverished, hunger kills millions and life unbearable for the general society. The religious clan is not also left behind. There are growing numbers of religious leaders who are only seeking to control minds and sway life for selfish interest and not for eternal grace of salvation of mankind. These opportunists wants the glory of power and opulence religion may bestow on them, while lacking experience, values and virtues that is standard for godly leaders.
I was opportune to lead some people for some years in my work place. I started on the wrong note of enforcement of rules and process but I was not really leading. The people did enough just to escape punishment but were not really committed to work, nor go extra mile in us meeting our objectives. After a while, I later found out that some of the people see me more as a slave driver who just wants deadlines met with no consideration for their own safety and wellbeing. Some of my managers felt like I needed to tightened the belt more around the people to beat them back to line, but I chose to understand them and help them in having a fulfilling work experience with me as the supervisor. I arranged a meeting where we discuss our objectives as a department extensively and ask each of them to give suggestion on how we can achieve them. I promise to abide by whatever collective way we agree to achieve the objectives. I was enthralled to see that many of them opened up and became active participant, with some suggesting ideas that I felt are classic. I also loosen up on some rules to allow flexibility which some of them feel make them look like slaves. I was also actively leading in all the suggested points and actions that are to be taken to achieving the goals. At the end of the quarter after the meeting, I found we were able to achieve targets and objectives of six months in just about three months because the people are enthused and are willing to go extra mile. I was also happy that they also see me now as a true leader who believe in them.

ii. Good leaders are authentic leaders.

The writer talked about becoming an authentic leader and gives the attributes of them as follows:
They know themselves: They are first interested in improving themselves before trying to improve others. They try to examine their strengths, weaknesses, preferences, beliefs and values so as to continually improve themselves and work on areas deficient. Authentic leaders who know themselves inside out tend to be able to manage situations and other people better. People are willing to commit to an authentic leader than following a chameleon with no values or principle or stability. I once had a leader in my corporation who is not always true to himself but tend to change behavior depending on who he is with per time. He would say something with some people because he felt that that is what they want to hear and say something different with another set of people on same issues just not to hide from responsibility. The followers just don’t trust him. They hardly commit themselves to any task involving him as they would not know his true standing when there is problem or challenges.
Are genuine: We need genuine leaders who will commit to a course and be true to it. Leaders who will reach a balance between deliverables and safety, between obligation and cares, between accelerating and braking. I have a spiritual leader who always inspire me with his teaching of the Bible and how he lives it out. Over the years I have come to appreciate him as a true Christian leader in my Country for his continual abiding in the teaching of Christ. He is the type that not only say but also wants the follower to hold him true to the teachings. Such are few in our religious cycle here in Nigeria
Are open and honest : I really appreciate the insight of a leader being open and honest. This is connected to the earlier points raised as it is only when you are genuine that you will be open and honest. Fake people are not honest to themselves and to general values. They tend to say one thing when they meant another thing. Leaders are human too and have their frailties. Openness make one to admit our humanity and our need for continual improvement. An honest, open leader will attract honest and open followership or team. In siuch an atmosphere, problems and issues will be resolved quickly and everyone will be willing to give their best.

iii. Becoming a Visionary Leader.

“You don’t have to be able to capture the attention of society, but you do have to capture the attention of, and positively influence, the people who report to you if you want them to do a great job for you and being a visionary leader may help you to achieve this aim’’. A visionary leader understands the task at hand, devises an effective and efficient way to accomplish the task and is able to arouse others interest to join him in a collective team work to accomplishing the task. Your success in influencing people and situations is as much down to your mindset as to you having a particular skill. The visionary leader is a goal getter. He sees opportunities to accomplish more, improve more. He dreams and shares vision with team members in a way that they themselves contribute and become part of the accomplishment of the vision. I saw this trait in the MD of my company. She came up with a strategic meeting and in the meeting she brought along the vision of a company that will be the leading digital security solution and smart card company in Africa. The sections provided opportunity for all employee of the company to scrutinize the vision, and suggest ways of meeting them. For three days of the meeting, there was complete involvement of all the employee with goals and objectives discuss along unit lines. The agreed objective and KPI were cascaded down the line with everyone fully understanding them. Some 5-7 years later after the strategic meeting, the company has risen to become the leading Smartcard company in Sub-sahara Africa and still breaking new grounds.

iv. Becoming an Engaging Leader.

Your aim in engaging work colleagues to ‘go the extra mile’ is to work together with a common commitment to achieve optimum outcomes for everyone involved. The writer gave a simple engaging process to assist an underperforming colleagues which I found helpful. The process is:
Start from his grid position
Explain the benefits of, for example, achieving an objective or doing a task, and the consequences of not doing it.
Acquire a better understanding of each other’s views and reasons for them.
Gain new insights into the issue or problem, and identify more appropriate courses of action, through interpreting and reinterpreting together the views, ideas and information that you’re sharing with each other.
Notice any changes in your colleague’s language during the conversation that indicates that he’s accepted the need to act or change his behaviour, and that he’s taking ownership and becoming committed to act or change. Examples include a move away from negative phrases such as ‘I can’t . . .’ and ‘I won’t . . .’, towards more positive responses such as ‘Would it be possible for me to . . .’, ‘How can I/we . . .’ and ‘Can I . . . ?’.
Agree some actions to take to work together more successfully (read the next section for details

v. Good Approaches to Leading others.

The author stated the right approach to leading people and helping them to reach their peak performance. The leader is to:

Enthuse- This is by clarifying the reasons why the person isn’t committed by exploring whether he has any expectations or needs regarding the job that aren’t being met. • Explaining the importance of the task and the reasons why you want the person to do it. • Recognising the person’s knowledge, skills and so on that are particularly relevant to completing the task. • Helping the person to understand that doing the task to the required standard will enable him to make progress towards satisfying any unmet needs or expectations that he has about the job or role in the organisation. • Agreeing actions and deadlines, and how progress is to be measured. • Thanking the person for using his abilities.
Engage and provide direction by: • Exploring whether any expectations aren’t being met. Clarifying how the person feels about how he’s doing the job, showing an interest in his sense of self-esteem and the reasons for his view. Looking for ways for building the person’s self esteem by agreeing small steps or actions that slightly stretch his ability but that he’s likely to complete successfully – with your support if necessary – so that you can recognise and praise even slight progress. • Agreeing actions or tasks that progressively stretch the person as his confidence increases. • Providing on-going support to develop the person’s ability and provide feedback emphasising his achievements.
Guide and develop the person by: • Explaining the main steps to complete the task. • Encouraging the person to ask questions, and ask your own, to ensure that he clearly understands what you require. • Agreeing milestones and deadlines when you want the person to report and discuss progress with you. • Being available for reference. • Praising achievements and using problems as opportunities for the person to grow and develop his capabilities.
Focus and encourage autonomy by: • Agreeing the objective or outcome and deadline to be achieved without discussing the method. • Providing enough autonomy for the person to make his own decisions and take action to achieve the objective.
I have tried using the approaches with my team members and I can say they are really effective and efficient. I have different types of staff whose level of commitment vary widely at first. By using some of the approaches stated, I have been able to move low performing staff to high performing staff. This had made my work easy as I now encourage autonomy with them when an objective is set with myself providing guidance and direction when needed. The approaches has also helped me in people management and has boosted a more cordial working relationship amongst us.

vi. Leaders are Change Agents.

In life we sometime need a change from one level to another and at such time, we need leaders that can guide people through the needed change without damaging flow or life. The author identified the attitude that if followed by a leader will help to guide through change. These attitudes include:
Staying confident, especially in the face of adversity, Being purposeful in looking for opportunities to improve processes, systems and ways of working that enhance the performance of ones team, By explaining the reasons for the change, and the likely effects on those people affected by it, encouraging people to express their views and feelings and listening to and taking notice of what they say, Sensing people’s commitment to the change, Remaining realistic; being prepared to be flexible, modifying your plans and if necessary settling for a less than perfect outcome and speed of change in order to sustain people’s commitment to the change. This is more than political rhetoric, it is taking decisive actions towards helping quality of work or life to a greater standard. In many sphere of life. Political, religious, moral, academic and even national, changes are desperately needed and there is scarcity of leaders to take the initiative of championing the change. Nigeria had a political party in 2015 whose mantra to office is Change. But sadly, many of the needed changes in governance such as the type of government system to adopt, the distribution of common wealth of the nations, the funding of education, job creations are still left in the degenerate state as they were before the advent of the new government. This might be due to leaders who do not want to be challenged by the status quo, an unwilling commitment to change. When we have true leaders in government, they really will be change agent needed to move people from poverty to prosperity, from vices to virtues and from grass to grace.

vii. Tips to taking the Lead.

At the end of the discuss the author gives useful tips to leading others which includes:

Make Leadership Common Sense Your Common Practice- be able to take right decision as a standard for others.
Believe that Everyone Wants to Make a Difference- Give everyone a chance to contribute
Rise to Every (Leadership) Occasion-Lead when leading is needed, do not wait
Build Up, Not Put Down-Talk more about solving problems and getting success
Listen Before You Leap-Check things through before concluding, balance promptness with caution.
“Work With People Rather Than ‘Doing To” People-Encourage and enable people to learn.
Be Uncomfortably Comfortable-Develop your self-confidence and expand your comfort zone.
Speak Up and Speak Out-Express your views openly and honestly.
Expand Your Sphere of Influence-Dig deeper in building team bonding with others
Keep Your Head When Everyone Is Losing Theirs-Stay calm when in crisis, have a survival courage.

These tips are gems on leadership if well understood and practiced.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

The lessons to me are profound as I found myself in a leadership role in life. I belief the lessons learned has improved my leadership quality significantly. At work, I have been so encouraged by the exposition in the book that I have to practically practice some of the exercise directly at work. This had made me help some of the people working with me. Some underperforming staff have improved in their commitment to the teams objective and this had also helped in our deliverables.

Some of the people are taking up leadership role themselves. There is a group of three staff among my team members who had before now taking a non-committal standpoint attitude towards work. They felt aggrieved at the company system which is sometimes discriminatory to certain unit and junior staff. I had great difficulty getting them to give their best for us to achieve our objective. I use the tips and approaches taught in the book for leading others to lead them. After a period, I found that by listening to them, empathizing with their conditions, focusing them back to the reason why they are in the company and the ultimate satisfaction of knowing one has done and achieve success spurn them to give more and also made them to take on extra responsibilities that otherwise would have been dodged.

I also had made notes on the lessons learnt and have tried passing them to my colleagues and subordinates who are also raising their leadership quality for the good of themselves and others. I am focused on becoming a leader raising the standard, visionary, authentic and engaging those being led in order to make them achieve a defined objectives and also turn them too to good leaders. I have seen the vacuum of leadership in the workplace, society and family and I am committed to ensuring I stand out to make a difference, God helping me.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Leading people starts with leading yourself; you have to look inwards at yourself before you look outwards towards the people you work with.”

I believe many people want to have a control over others without the discipline to first control and take charge of themselves. I believe this quote succinctly capture this.

“In a work context, the purpose of leadership is to influence positively how people think, feel and act so that they become committed to making a valuable contribution to achieving the objectives of their work team, department and organization”

This quote briefly sum up the whole essence of leadership particularly in workplace. If a leader is able to galvanize people to work together as a team towards a defined objective that contributes to the progress and success of the organization which in return brings a form of satisfaction to the team, then the leader would be a good leader.

“The value of your vision of how you see your team doing its work in the future lies in the quality of the vision you create and how well you share it with the people who report to you.”

This is a very good quote as it points out the importance of vision to a good leadership. Without Vision, the people perish.

“When you’re skilled in engaging people, you can modify your leadership style without undermining your integrity because you’re simultaneously focusing on achieving your team’s objectives, being sensitive and responsive to the needs of each member of the team, and consistently acting authentically in accord with your values.”

This quote sums up the skills needed as a good leader. A leader with integrity, who engages people to achieve an objective and at the same time caring for the team will ultimately breed a high performing team.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes. I attempted most of the exercise and found them very helpful

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 8
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

Keys to Success
Assessment by Sunday Obarinu (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea being conveyed in the book is to reveal to people the possibilities in the human nature to achieve greatness when appropriate principles are used in achieving success. In achieving the desired success, the book reveals the 17 principles needed among which are having a definite major purpose, forming a mastermind alliance, having an attractive personality, using applied faith, going the extra miles, creating personal initiative, building a positive mental attitude amongst others.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. The adoption of a definite major purpose and the motivation to act continuously in pursuit of that Purpose.

The book is a classic on having a definite major purpose. I actually found it very helpful in re-defining my major goals again and reshaping my focus. The book helped me in setting five major goals for the year aside my major purpose of which three has been achieved and two are in progress. There are few good books that are specific on purpose and the principles to achieving them, this one is one of them and anyone who will take his time to read and practically practice the principles will see remarkable success. One of the problems of most people living

ii. The habit of going the extra mile.

One of the significant principles of great achievers has always been the discipline to go the extra mile. I found that many people are unwilling to live the comfort zone. They would do all they can to be there but this most times produce mediocrity. All major achievement and breakthrough have always involved the extra mile effort. For any worthy achievement, one must be willing to go the extra mile, the extra effort, the extra motivation, the extra care, the extra encouragement. The few that will diligently do this will get to the desired success. Render more and better service than you are paid for, and sooner or later you will receive compound interest from your investment

iii. A positive mental attitude.

This is the right, honest, constructive, thought, action or reaction to any person, situation, or set of circumstances that does not violates the laws of God or the right of ones fellowmen. It allows you to build on hope and overcome the negative attitudes of despair and discouragement. With PMA, anything is possible. Frail souls have built on the energy of PMA to climb mountains, overcome limitations and shatter barriers. I received a renewed boost of PMA after reading the books and that has impacted my life, work and family. Being positive in the face of daunting task is what PMA has done for me and this gives hope and courage to face such task or hurdles. PMA influences your tone of voice, your posture, your facial expressions. It modifies every word you say and determines the nature of the emotions you feel. It affects every thought you have and the results your thoughts bring you.

iv. Enforce self-discipline.

According to the book, most people act first before they think about the consequences. Self-discipline actually reverses this. It makes one to be able to hold on to an action or release an action based on a thoughtful consequence. Self-discipline calls for balancing your emotions with your reasoning. I believe that many potential achievers had met their waterloo basically on lack of self-discipline. It makes one to stick to success plan while avoiding the distractions of negative emotions.

v. Show enthusiasm.

This is the fuel that drives things forward. If you are thinking of success and lacks the enthusiasm to back it, then that success is bound to fail. Enthusiasm makes one addicted to the course of success. Through it one is able to overlook the seeming difficulties that will normally stop the other people trying to do same without enthusiasm. I am encourage to have a controlled enthusiasm on my defined goals or purpose as this will be the fuel through which the engine of my success will run.

vi. Learn from adversity and defeat.

Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit for those who have positive mental attitude and apply it. Your mental attitude with respect to defeat is the factor of major importance which determines whether you ride with tides of fortune or misfortune. Everyone aspire to succeed will at one time or the other experience setbacks. These setback are not final failure. There is always something to learn from such experience which might be beneficial to the course of the success itself. Many people give up when faced with failings or defeats, such should be strong enough to learn from the setback and rise with renewed energy to succeed.

vii. Budget your time and money.

These are precious resources and an inventory in such is required to attain lasting success. Nobody who waste time and money easily found success. These are great resources that must be used as tools and not an end. We are to make wise use of both and take best opportunities of them in achieving our desired success

List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. The adoption of a definite major purpose and the motivation to act continuously in pursuit of that Purpose. From my personal life, I have been helped to set goals and purposes which has helped me to achieve some varying levels of success. I usually will have a major goal for like 5 to 10 years. This would be broken into yearly minor goals. I would set timeline for my minor goals on a monthly basis so I can easily track them. This year I set five minor goals which are: involve with organization reaching out and caring for young people, change my car for more effective commuting, get needed medical check and treatment, start the raising of building for a school and mastermind alliance with family members on setting up a school. As at now, I have been able to work with an orphanage center in my local area and have been having a schedule time reaching out to the orphans with the bible teachings and also material cares. I have also had others joining me to achieve the goals of caring for the children. This had greatly brought some excitement into my life and I am really glad I could be of help to them. I have also been able to change my car to assist in commuting and have gone for the needed medical checkup. O believe as I continue to define my goals and purpose and continually pursue them, I will be able to live joyfully and successfully while touching many lives as well.

ii. The habit of going the extra mile: I have committed myself to going the extra mile in whatever I found myself doing. I don’t want to live a mediocre life. At work, I have tried giving more than what is required but sometimes I stay late to achieve a particular task which has been= noticed in my place of work and rewarded. I have tried to encourage my other colleagues at work to go the extra mile in whatever task we are given. I even reviewed the ideas in the book with them for their own benefits as well

iii. A positive mental attitude. I believe that when adopt a positive mental attitude it completely structure the individual for success. I was once in a situation of hopelessness and frustrations at the condition of some student who were in my school where I have been posted as a corps member to teach. I find many of the students reckless, lazy and unserious at studies. I have one year to serve in teaching in the school and the situation of the students was not helping, but with a positive mental attitude, I believe I could make a difference in the school. I set forth to engage the students and to work out a plan with them. The plan involves engaging them individually in class and given them academic task after spending a worthy time with each individual on a subject topic. After some few months, I found the self-confidence of some of them boosted as they were able to solve some academic exercise which they earlier thought were puzzling. I realize that I had a strong faith in their untapped ability and was convinced I would be able to help out. During this period, many of them moved from laziness to sheer handwork. They started competing with each other on some academic exercise and quite improved in solving them. Some completely changed their negative mental attitude to positive and started believing in themselves. The positive mental attitude that I demonstrated actually infected them and helped them a lot.

iv. Enforce self-discipline: I believe many destinies have been ruined by lack of self-discipline. The importance of it cannot be over-emphasis. I once knew a young energetic man who was very promising. He had the smartness of a young budding man, he was handsome and full of life. But one thing he lacked was self-discipline. He gets easily distracted and became loose with ladies. With time, he shifted focus from his life plans to frivolities. These distractions cost him is health and intimately his life goals. He died miserably amidst abundant possibilities and potentials.

v. Show enthusiasm: Enthusiasm is key to getting momentum towards one purpose. i am encourage to have a controlled enthusiasm on my defined goals or purpose as this will be the fuel through which the engine of my success will run. I try to show enthusiasm in all my pursuit once I defined them as my God given goals. I have drawn help and partnership by being enthused with my pursuit. There are goals at work that my team was given and I encouraged the team to show enthusiasm in achieving it. They personified the collective goals and this shows in the way they talk and go about achieving the task. This had helped us to achieve more and many times met terrible deadlines which hitherto would have been impossible.

vi. Learn from adversity and defeat: Defeat sometimes happen but we are not go give up. The present President of Nigeria (President Mohammodu Buhari) tried three times and failed to clinched the position but succeeded at the fourth attempt. Thomas Edison failed several time before succeeding with electric bulb. Abraham Lincoln failed several times before becoming one of the most popular US President. I have had defeat stirring my face but was able to forge ahead and still succeed. I am were I am today better than I was some years ago but that is after overcoming financial challenges, health challenges and career challenges. We can rise again and again until we stand to succeed.

vii. Budget your time and money: I have made an habit of budgeting and planning for time and money. I will get my salary and allocate it to the different aspect of our lives like feeding, projects, religious, social responsibility, utilities, etc. this helps to ensure accountability and inventory on the money earned. I also have formed the habit of writing my schedule every day and allocating time to them. In this way, my time is not wasted and I don’t get distracted.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

The adoption of a definite major purpose and the motivation to act continuously in pursuit of that Purpose help me to achieve my purpose in life and also better my world
The habit of going the extra mile helps me to achieve more and get rewarded more

A positive mental attitude increases my chance to succeed and positively impact my world. By showing enthusiasm I attract support of others to my chance of achieving success and improving my world. By learning from adversity and defeat, I am able to stand tall to success

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Faith wipes out obstructions like intolerance by freeing your mind of human limitations. For what is intolerance but a closed mind? Just as darkness is dispelled by a simple light, so intolerance is eliminated by opening the mind to the influx of power that gives the brain the vision to encompass all of life’s realities.”

“Faith and believing in oneself are first steps to achieving success.”

“Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit for those who have positive mental attitude and apply it.”

“There is no mountain we cannot climb even if we have to retrace our steps once in a while.”

“Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achieve ment, and its lack is the stumbling block for ninety-eight out of every hundred people simply because they never really define their goals and start toward them.”

“Having purpose and pursuing it, is the color to life. And life itself.”

“If you would plant for days, plant flowers. If you would plant for years, plant trees.
If you would plant for eternity, plant ideas!”

A proverb with pungent points.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes. I complete most and they were very helpful.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

Goal Setting 101
Assessment by Sunday Obarinu (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

Goal setting 101 reveals the fundamentals of setting and achieving a goal. It states the importance of setting goals in life as the joy and fulfillment of life in itself. The book is brief and concise making the understanding easy to grasp and the exercise easy to practice. It covers the three stages of goals in details, which are the planning, the execution and the management of the goals to achieving success. The author encourages us to have goals for its benefits which includes giving direction in life, continuous growth, improves self-image, boasted confidence and specific successes. While discussing this, it offers exercises for one to practice to assess understanding of the topics.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. Goals are important and beneficial

As discussed in the book, goals are the milestones by which the journeys of life can be measured and assessed. Without goals, our life would be a drifting dead tree on top of the ocean waves, tossed to and fro and at the mercy of the ocean drifts. Goals are important to guide us through the long journey of life. It is by setting goals that we can use our potentials and resources to its best use. Without goals, life is wasted, geniuses buried, potentials untapped, time and energy degenerate, stagnancy takes the central stage, and life becomes meaningless and unproductive. Since goals can be personal or collective, it then means that personal and collective fulfillment can be achieved and experienced. Setting goals and following through to success guarantees this.

The few strides I have had in life have been through a constant habit of setting goals and pursuing it. As a young man, I was first challenged by my Dad at an early age to set goal. My Dad will set some exercise for us at home and later follow up with us to see if we carry it out. These helped us to develop goal setting habit as we grow. Once in my elementary school, I set a goal to have the best grade in the external examination. I read, focused and disciplined myself within the period and even went extra miles in the preparation. I needed to go the extra mile as I found some other students were also doing same and I have to go and do beyond to realize my goal of coming out top. This effort paid of eventually. The results for the school were pasted and my name came out top. I was given a chance to attend one of the selected unity schools in my country. This was heartwarming for my parents who also gave me some provisions in the home as some form of rewards for the good dedication to success. Without goals one will lose the steam necessary to propel the engine of success. Goals stretches the boundaries and open up limitations for one to progress.

ii. Achievements and accomplishments do not happen accidentally.

They are the result of clearly defined goals acted upon until completion: Goals determine what you will or will not become or accomplish. Wishing for fortunes, wealth, fame and lasting legacy is not enough, it has to be backed up by corresponding actions. Many people stop at the point of wishing. Some, I dare say, don’t even desire a change. They are used to the status quo of mediocrity, stagnancy and failure. When we get dissatisfied with our present state and status and desired better, we need to come up with goals in the line of our desires and as stated in the book, plan towards the goal, execute the plan and manage the success of accomplishment or achievement realized. All it takes is a will to act towards our desire haven. Taking a little step everyday towards our goal is a worthy course which eventually will bring the success. Our task in life is to keep moving forward, making progress and to keep improving ourselves. By this, we will live life to its fullness and fun.

One of the evils of our days is a belief by many young people that one can stumble on success without hard work, dedication, preparation or goals settings. There are many young people especially in my country that have the philosophy of easy money which might be scam money, drug money, prostituting etc All these forms of easy money do not last and they generally leave people handicapped, limited, wasted and miserable. Lasting achievement and accomplishment only comes with desire for it, proper goal setting, dedication, self-discipline, determination and believe of faith with positive mental attitude. I had a friend who always felt he is going to stumble into fortune by some stroke of luck. He would not put in much effort towards preparing himself, planning or executing any goals. Why? He felt this is tedious, and demanding. He would wait for the time when chance would bring him some magic fortune. That was several years ago, He still waiting till today without any tangible accomplishment or success.

iii. The benefits of goal setting

There are many benefits of setting goals. Everyone from the toddler to the elderly, from the man to the woman, the husband to the wife, the leader to the follower has a goal defined and its accompany benefits. Setting goals give direction to life. The teenager in college who had set goals before him or her would be better focused and concentrated on his academics than the one who sees college as a huddle to cross, a necessary evil which life has dished to him. The one with goals strives to have a first class and use every opportunity to harnessing knowledge while the other seizes on every moment to escape the learning opportunities. Setting goals makes continuous growth possible. It like getting to next level per time. The altitude of growth and fulfillment is increased at every step with new and more goals. The sportsman through goals moves from being amateur to being a professional, then to being a world champion and leaving a lasting legacy. Goals increases ones self-image. You can imagine when by setting goals and achieving them, the world respects your opinion and gives you more opportunity to express yourself, this boast your confidence and courage. You know that if you succeed at one, then you can succeed too at the second. You no longer see mountains as hindrances to success but stepping stones to success.

It is really rewarding to live a life of constant goal setting and pursuant. The benefits are humongous. I work in a company, where the Managing Director is a woman given to goals. She is always raising the bar for herself and everyone in the company. This had made the company to achieve much in a significantly small period. We have moved from a company of barely ten people to more than 300 working personnel. Setting goals has also helped me to judiciously plan my time and resources. I have made better use of resources as my resources are already planned and in need even before I have them. The fulfillment of goals as also brought confidence and fulfillment to me. When I go through a period of rigorous discipline on time and resources towards a goal, I often feel very fulfilled at the realization of such goals. I would look back to see that the gains are worth the pains.

iv. Ask the Six Important Goal Setting Questions

One of the lessons learnt from the book is asking the right questions before setting off to achieving a goal. There are six questions which needs be answered. The first is Who will be involved in helping you achieve the goal. There are people resources you will need to achieve the goal. You need to realize where they are and how you can get them. Some of the people could be family members, colleagues at work, a helpful neighbor, a mentor somewhere. The second question is What is the goal? What specifically is to be accomplished. There has to be clarity as to the desired aim. This must be specific and measurable. The third question is Where you are now in relation to this goal. There has to be objectivity and realism. It should be a goal you can see afar off and relate with. One you can see your pathway to, a summit you can see the step to climb to. The fourth question is on what date do you expect to achieve this goal? You need a time-line set for focus and drive in accomplishing the goal. The fifth question is How will you accomplish this goal? If we can sit down to think of how, then it will be easy to look for the tool of engagement. Stating a bogus goal with no clue on how is day dreaming. The sixth question is Why do you want to achieve this goal? The why provides the fuel for realization. It is the burning need and desire that propel one to the success.
Write down your goals: There’s something about putting something down on paper that forces you to get down to specifics. It’s harder to deceive yourself or anyone else when your idea is exposed on paper. The act of writing provokes critical thinking on its own. Except in few cases, many people who don’t write down goals are often too lazy to process the goals through in the head. Writing goals down also refreshes them mind now and then. One can always go back to it to re-emphasis it to the sub-conscious.
In life, many circumstances conspire to retard progress. Act as quickly as you can: One of the qualities of great achievers is the ability to take on opportunities when it present itself. Procrastination is a thief of time and destiny. Be always prepare for opportunities when it shows up. A ready prepared mind and willing heart will overcome all obstacles and wriggle itself off the hand of indolence and stagnancy. Goals must be simple to execute in bits. Complex plans often look appealing on paper, but tend to fall apart in execution. Keep your plans as simple as possible. Always consider the bolder course. The best ideas typically have a short shelf life. In life, many circumstances conspire to retard progress.

Asking the six important questions have been very helpful to me in realizing my goals. When I answer the six questions on goals, I am able to clearly go into critical thinking that actualize the goal. Early this year, I started with a goal in mind of raising a building for educational purpose. I have to sit down to think of the Who needed to achieve my goal. One of my brother readily comes to my mind. I wrote down why I needed him, when I needed him and how to get the needed help. With this clarity I set off and was able to progress with the brother’s help as needed. Questions beg for answers, answers beg for thinking, thinking brings thoroughness, thoroughness reduces failure. When right questions are asked, right help will be sought after. The book suggest questions of Who, What, When, Time, How and Why and I found them helpful.

v. You cannot afford to wait for perfect conditions

Goal setting is often a matter of balancing timing against available resources. Opportunities are easily lost while waiting for perfect conditions. Practice speed, simplicity and boldness. Don’t wait for convenient time when you have all the money to execute the goals before starting, when you have all the support or when you know everything before embarking. Most people still learn as they journey on to their dreamland. Start from where you are and make a move, learn from mistakes and continue to move ahead.

Like the Bible says “write the vision and make it plain, so that he may run that readeth it.” Writing goals make them plain, obvious and attention demanding. I have made it a practice to always write down my goals. I have a major definite purpose from which I yearly settle for minor goals that should feed my major goals. I take the beginning of every year to write my quarterly and monthly pursuit. This has been helpful and has kept me focused. I would write the goals and also set timeline and ask questions as to how I want to achieve this. I discuss these goals with my wife from time to time to keep us focus on the goals and also to help us understand why we are taking a particular direction per time.

vi. In life, many circumstances conspire to retard progress.

Act as quickly as you can: Action they say speak louder than words. There are many people with wonderful lofty dreams and goals but who had made no commitment of action. Its almost like Alice in wonderland, with fantasies, exaggerations, fictions but no reality. Actions bring reality to goals. We must act quickly towards achieving our goals. I once had a goal of getting a better car for our family business which is being run by my wife. I envisage the type of car and possible specifications. Just some few weeks after the setting of the goals, I suddenly stumble on someone who has heard me speak on my need of another car. He contacted and show me that someone has my spec of car and would want to sell. I needed to quickly check with the person to confirm the car. While I was doing this, someone else is interested in the car as well and might be willing to pay more. I had spoken with the in-between dealer and also made commitment of payment. This made the owner to seed the car to me since I came earlier and also made some commitment. Had I waited a little while, I would have missed the opportunity of a relatively cheap car to someone else.

vii. You cannot afford to wait for perfect conditions

Most time, we do not have perfect conditions to act but we need to act anyway. When we act, we then see the horizon better and our next view become clearer. We cannot wait for perfect condition before we render that help, or go for the course of improvement or establish a better relationship. I have a friend who set off to Canada from Nigeria. He believe in a better chance of opportunity in the country and has been strategizing of moving his family and himself there. He consulted and did all the requirement of visa and was successful but there was one problem. There was not enough money to do the trip. He tried and checked and sought by no money was forthcoming. Then he did a radical thing. He practically sold all that he had in Nigeria and built up a fund that might just be sufficient for the trip. I thought then that he took a big risk with the family. But right now, he has settled and is doing remarkably well in the new country. Had he waited for the convenient time, he would never had made the journey and would not have made the progress he already made now.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Goals are important and beneficial. The realization of the importance of goals had made me to be a goal setter and better always. Anytime I set a goal for myself, I ask the six questions to help me navigate my way to achieving them I endeavor to always write my goals as to keep me focus on them. Whenever an idea of actions on my goal comes around, I try to act wisely immediately. I try not to procrastinate on actions that I should do now.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Success is the intentional, pre-meditated use of choice and decision. Unless you choose with certainty what it is you want, you accept table scraps by default!”

This is a sublime truth. We must accept responsibility for our decisions as they form our destiny

“Action is the conduit through which advancement flows.”

We cannot be inactive and expect motion. There should not be much noise but no movement. Not taking actions on set goals amount to this.

“The truth will prevail, one way or another and usually sooner rather than later. It is better to face facts at the planning phase, and to convince others to do the same. This is not for the sake of building character or maintaining mortality. It is a matter of survival. Whether or not you face it, truth will create consequences.”

I love this as it emphasis facing reality around us and acting in that understanding.

“Achievements and accomplishments do not happen accidentally. They are the result of clearly defined goals acted upon until completion. Goals determine what you will or will not become or accomplish.”

This re-emphasizes the need for goal setting.

“You must be able to identify success or you won’t have any way of monitoring your progress or knowing if you have achieved your goals.”

Clearly defined goals is needed to make progress.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes. I complete most and they were very helpful.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

How to Win Friends and Influence People
Assessment by Sunday Obarinu (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author is trying to convey is that we can have a good relationship and response from people and also influence them positively by getting the other person’s point of view and seeing things from that person’s angle as well as from our own.

2. What are the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. It is easier to find fault in someone than to find praises. There must be conscious effort to refrain from criticizing and judging others in order to get a positive response from them.

I am particularly struck by this point as I live in a very toxic environment where criticizing seems to be the norm in every sphere and this had cause various fractions and division in the system with attendant breakdown and decay. For instance, at my place of work, I found colleagues always criticizing and complaining about the management. It is always that the work is too much, the money is too small, the hours are too long or the welfare is too little. These toxic displays affect the productivity of the company and in the end the general welfare of each staff. While the management is always looking for a way to cultivate a healthy engagement with staff, the constant criticism and complaints had made engagement very difficult. I have resolved to not be part of the self-destructive attitude of judging and complaining and rather would do all I can to fosters an harmony within staff and management. I have found that this really paid of with sometimes some preferences given to me.

ii. We need to be genuinely interested in people for us to win their attention, time and cooperation.

One of the first issues I have is trying to get people’s attention for my own interest. I have learnt that this does not work. People are only interested in what concern and interest them. I have tried in time past as a supervisor of a small unit to get them team to focus on the goals and deadlines given to me by my managers. I found that after explaining the goals or task to my team members, I am often setback by their negative reaction of non-cooperation and lack of interest. I later found that these people are really only interested in matter that concerns their own interest of welfare, work hour, flexibility etc. I have to learn to first engage the team members in paramount things that interest them. And it wasn’t really difficult, I just need to show empathy, identify with their challenges and also try genuinely to help in engaging the management to address their needs. When I did this, their cooperation and devotion to whatever task I gave them was superb. We recorded great feats and achievement which without the team members help and devotion would have been impossible. I also found that the love and fondness of the team members to me and vice versa has increased.

iii. One of the simplest, most obvious and most important ways of gaining good will was by remembering names and making people feel important.

I am happy to learn that names matter and people are interested in their names. I have not really given thought to the idea of putting effort to know people’s name. I thought it was really not that important. Going through the book has given me the insight of how wrong I was. I normally would just say “my brother” or “my sister” whenever I forget names of people instead of putting effort to get actual name of the person. I have been trying to make sure I learn people’s name and great them warmly with it. I have clearly seen the improvement this had brought to my interactions and engagements. I found that people are really thrilled when I call them by their names and greet them warmly by it. I found some even volunteering to help just for one showing interest in them. i saw the effect of this point in my Christian house fellowship that I usually hold in one of the orphanages in Lagos here. I found that the children initially felt distant from me when we started the fellowship but as I learn their name, greet and interact with them using their names, I found a renewed interest from them of warmly opening up to me and freely interacting. I never knew that such simple observation could turn things around and help in human interaction.

iv.Gentleness and friendliness are always stronger than fury and force.
The use of gentleness and friendliness is demonstrated day after day by people who have learned that a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall. kindliness, the friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world. I have resolved to be more friendly in my approach to people. In the book, the lesson of never arguing or emphasising the other person is wrong in communication and relating was taught. It takes gentleness and friendliness to avoid arguments which is an ill wind that blows none any good. I found myself sometimes over bearing in trying to force my opinion on others because I believe the people, I was engaging were wrong. Many times, in conversation, I have met with stiff opposition and resistance because the other person may feel subdued or caged. And as often said in the book, A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still. I learnt a good lesson of avoiding arguments and saying others are wrong in conversation but rather with tact and gentleness, listen to the other person and win them over to a mutually benefitting desires. I particularly had a tense situation with my team members. We were not getting desired outcomes as a unit. Individual members seem to be losing their commitment to work. I was going to have an all-out commanding, dictatorial approach of force-to-force compliance. But just at the nick of time, I had a change of mind. I will listen to their complaints, empathise with them, and allow them to offer solutions. A meeting was held, bottled emotions and needs were expressed and an energized unity and commitment was revamped. Using gentleness and a friendly approach actually pays.
v. In trying to win others, we should let the other person feel that what we want them to do is their own idea.
I work with a lot of youths in the church and what I found out about them is that they always want to be seen as important and in charge. I found the above point very helpful in getting them to commit to an activity or project. Sometimes, an activity is to be done and I am to coordinate it. I will first call the youths together and ask for their own opinion on how we are to get the result. Many times, I would have preconceived ideas on what we are to do and many times I will be tempted to lay this down as our “to do list”. But calling the youths to give suggestions on how the problem or project is to be realised always help. Whenever the activities to be done come from the youth. Their commitment level is always higher as they would want to prove that their idea is rock solid and that I believe in them for them to bring out ideas on achieving the task at hands. Sometimes in this meeting, I would subtly suggest an idea which would look like one of them raised. They sometimes will agree and strive to accomplish the goals set. We should desist from forcing ideas on people but rather engage them and ask for their own ideas in resolving an issue or accomplishing a task

vi. “The way to get things done is to stimulate competition but in the desire to excel.”

There is desire in everyone to be admired and appreciated. Healthy competition brings the best in us as it tests our abilities with others and gives the yardstick to stretch ourselves to excel and be appreciated. While working in my company, I found that the management always push for competition and sometimes rivalry. I thought this was unnecessary as I felt that it brings tension and stress. But I found that while we compete and try to out-perform one another we were actually improving and becoming more productive.
A shift with the supervisor will achieve a particular volume of production, while the management keeps the record of the achievement and compares with other shifts with result of the better team pasted weekly. Rewards and recognition were given to those that perform excellently well. Many team members in a shift actually up their game as they also wanted to be recognised and awarded. Healthy competition in the family, church, workplace and the larger society will make things done better especially if back-up with rewards and recognition.

vii. “Good leaders ask questions and give suggestion; they don’t back out order.”

The instinct in man is to always sees one’s idea as always right and when such ideas is backed with some authority, all hell can be let loose in commands, orders and demands. Such leaders will have problem getting things done and may suffer resentment from others. The example giving in the book to a leader is to first questions on what is to be done and pass ideas out as suggestions. These suggestions when properly done will receive greater welcome from others and would likely be obeyed and carried out.
I lead a group of young youths in a fellowship who I found had always been subjected to criticism, command and orders. These made the youths to resent those that are to lead them. They were uncooperative in many activities and if at all, will only participate passively just not be labelled as rebels. When I arrive, I realize the problem and I set out to use this principle of not criticising and commanding but rather identify with them and ask questions of them on how we can improve things in the fellowship. The result was amazing. The youths showed a renewed energy for engaging with leaders and with themselves. There was improvement in attendance and progress was made in stated objectives of the fellowship.
In a Nutshell; These are the ways To Make People Like You:
Principle 1 The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Principle 2 Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
Principle 3 If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Principle 4 Begin in a friendly way.
Principle 5 Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
Principle 6 Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Principle 7 Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Principle 8 Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Principle 9 Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
Principle 10 Appeal to the nobler motives.
Principle 11 Dramatize your ideas.
Principle 12 Throw down a challenge.
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so how?
Putting all the principles discussed into practice will greatly help me to put myself in other people’s shoes. This will make me to analyse things in a balance way. It will help me to refrain from criticism and a judgmental attitude that will put others away. The principle will also help me improve my relationship with others with me genuinely interested in others, avoiding arguments with others and making the other people feel important genuinely. The principles will help me to also inspire others and to positively influence them, while reducing conflicts and violent communications, it will help me in relating with others to achieve results that will better each parties.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“It is easier to find fault in someone than to find praises.”

I have not really thought on this deeply this way. I have not noticed that faulting and criticism reflect more in my day-to-day life than praises. I am really determined to be very cautious and deliberate in praising people for their efforts in my engagement of people.

“The way to get things done, is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel.”

I love this statement as it bring to fore clarity on my understanding of the role of competition in improvement and productivity. Working in a production driven environment, I see this every day and use to criticise it but I have a better understanding now.

“A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”

This statement points to the futility of argument on conviction. As moral men, we need wilful change and not forceful change. We must respect people’s opinion and engage them with needed respect and true interest.

“Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.”

This principle will help me to always check myself from a judgmental attitude. Sometimes, the feeling of being right might make one to omit important details from the other side of the matter in discussion. Empathy and consideration will help me in relating and resolving issues

“In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing and keep on emphasizing the things on which you agree.”

This is a good negotiation principle which I will use in my engagement with people.

“Leadership gravitates towards people that can talk.”

I really felt the importance of this statement as I ponder on notable leaders that I know. The likes of Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Barack Obama etc all are talkers and good communicators. I understand this to end I must develop myself in speech and communications. I will ensure my communications and writings are done with the greatest care and details so that there are no ambiguity in interpretation or understanding.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

None.

6 . Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them useful?

There were no exercises directly given but the reflection on every principle is a good exercise

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?

No.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9