Diba Kosi Bilinga – Assessments

As a Man Thinketh

Assessment by Diba Kosi Bilinga (Kenya)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main ideas in the book was practical advices for individuals who want to better themselves, The book explains and promotes the direct connection between our thoughts and our happiness. It further provokes us to believe in the power of positive thinking. It explicitly explains and promotes the direct connection between what we think and the direction our lives take. The author reveals the secrets to having the most fulfilling existence possible, and it’s easier than any of us could have imagined. Thus, we too, can learn how to master the output of our brain in order to obtain the personal success of which we have always until now merely dreamed.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. Success and failures

Success and failures in one’s life and how it is totally connected to good and bad thoughts. This idea is very important to me because it explains that whatever we are today is because of our thoughts.

ii. Power of Thoughts

The book clearly indicated the power of thoughts which flows through our mind every day and how are they responsible for our own sufferings and happiness. This means that by positive thinking and its right application, I can practically elevate my life.

iii. The theory of responsibility assumption.

Responsibility assumption states that humans have complete and total control of the external events that happen to them. Here I was made to understand the basic theory of man shaping his world, and therefore himself, by his thoughts.

iv. You control your destiny.

“Man is made or unmade by himself,” writes the Author. “In the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds himself for heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace.” While we often believe fate, luck, or other circumstances are the driving forces behind our successes, “As a Man Thinketh” argues otherwise. You cannot choose your circumstances, James Allen writes, but choosing your thoughts can influence your circumstances.

v. Become a “master gardener” of your mind.

“Just as a gardener cultivates his ploy, keeping it free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires, so may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless, and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful, and pure thoughts,” Allen writes. In the book, Allen compares one’s mind to a garden. A garden may either be intelligently maintained or allowed to wildly grow without purposeful boundaries. Similar to the contents of a garden, your thoughts may be properly controlled and groomed. Allen describes this process as becoming the “master gardener” of your soul and the director of your life.

“Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bad fruit,” he further writes. It has dawn on me that; Thoughts are like seeds they will continue to grow and multiply. Starting with strong, optimistic thoughts will lead to more of the same, and maintaining those will lead to a better end result.

vi. Think big.

“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become,” writes Allen. Success starts with a dream. That dream, however, has to be more than simply wanting or wishing for something, Allen says. Success must be earned. It’s created by having the right thoughts and taking the right actions. Allen’s overarching theme is that any goal is attainable with a well-structured thought process and a strong work ethic. “You will receive that which you earn. No more, no less.” This has really provoked me to dream lofty dreams and to pursue them by all means.

vii. Effect of Thought on Health and the Body

The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty. Disease and health, like circumstances, are rooted in thought. Sickly thoughts will express themselves through a sickly body. Thoughts of fear have been known to kill a man as speedily as a bullet, and they are continually killing thousands of people just as surely though less rapidly. The people who live in fear of disease are the people who get it. Anxiety quickly demoralizes the whole body, and lays it open to the entrance of disease; while impure thoughts, even if not physically indulged, will soon shatter the nervous system. This idea has educated mean on the sure way to stay healthy by avoiding or dislodging negative thoughts from my minds for my body to be strong and remain youthful all the time.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

After reading this book, I have been made to understand that doubt and fear have never and will never accomplish anything except failure. Internal thoughts are in my control. Positively changing them can pave the way to success for me in all my endeavors.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

James Allen the author of this powerful book composed a series of short, pointed essays on the power of thinking positively and its influence on character, circumstance, and health. He uses a beautiful example of likening the human mind to that of a garden which, based on the work of the gardener, will produce lush, green, fruit-bearing plants, or due to neglect and bad seed planting, will produce nothing but weeds. Each quote I have quoted below was cultivating, planting, and watering the thoughts in my mind which eventually will took over my actions and allowed me to become the person I want to be in near future.

“You can’t create a beautiful garden, from scratch, in a day it takes time and daily maintenance. Well, so too does a beautiful mind.”

When you spend some time cultivating your mind daily you’ll reap the benefits of powerful growth later on. Below are some of my favorite quotes from this book:

“Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.”

“Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought”

“The universe does not favor the greedy, the dishonest, the vicious, although on the mere surface it may sometimes appear to do so; it helps the honest, the magnanimous, the virtuous. All the great Teachers of the ages have declared this in varying forms, and to prove and know it a man has but to persist in making himself more and more virtuous by lifting up his thoughts.”

“Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.”

“A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.”

“Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace.”

“Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built.”

“As the physically weak man can make himself strong by careful and patient training, so the man of weak thoughts can make them strong by exercising himself in right thinking.”

“As you cannot have a sweet and wholesome abode unless you admit the air and sunshine freely into your rooms, so a strong body and a bright, happy, or serene countenance can only result from the free admittance into the mind of thoughts of joy and goodwill and serenity.”

“Thought allied fearlessly to purpose becomes creative force: he who knows this is ready to become something higher and stronger than a mere bundle of wavering thoughts and fluctuating sensations; he who does this has become the conscious and intelligent wielder of his mental powers.”

“Only the wise man, only he whose thoughts are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him.”

I have been an ardent readers of novels since my tender age, though I used to read them sometime for fun and leisure, after reading this book in the context I have been reading it today, I have slowly come to realize that it has powerful message that can easily influence my life in more ways than one. Today, I find myself more positive, more grateful and more calm than ever before. I find myself being more and more drawn to the good and being more and more repelled from the bad. The rich Quotes contained in the book has already impacted my life. Thus Quotes are now a part of my everyday life, I write using quotes, and I no longer want to entertain any gossip or waste my time watching TV programs, but rather want to read good books and engage in good conversations about life and meaning. Needless to say, it was a pretty powerful transformation tools that will definitely have profound impact in my life with possibility of revolutionizing my reasoning and positioning me on a path that I had long for.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

There is nothing which is unclear. To me everything is flowing and easy to understand. For the author had used simple language.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book doesn’t contain any exercises for reader to answer.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

The questions have exhaustively covered literarily everything.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read?                            9                          
B. How helpful was the content?                               9
C. How easy was it to understand?                            10
D. Would you recommend it to others?                    10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it?      10

 

 

Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Assessment by Diba Kosi Bilinga (Kenya)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea that the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull is trying to convey in his book is the power of transformational leadership who cannot stop at anything in a pursuit to transform and bring positive changes to his followers. In his narration, he clearly demonstrated the power of an individual whose passion goes beyond the ordinary limit in order to attain breakthrough in whatever he/she is geared toward achieving.

Jonathan Livingston Seagull can be described as an experimenter, thinker, searcher, observer, non-conformist, even a renaissance bird. The book is all about character, identity, learning, knowledge, searching, self-discovery, self-motivation, and self-education. It describes a self-aware seagull not afraid to look at himself, to feel his feelings, to be courageous, and to make changes through trial-and-error that would improve his life.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. Individual versus the group, inner- versus outer-directed behavior.

One seagull goes against the flock’s retro standards and way of life, that is, a life of eating and survival. Jonathan sees life as trying to achieve excellence, searching for new ideas, possibilities, and experiences. Just like Jonathan seagull many are people who are faced with the feelings of going against the crowd who wants individuals to conform to their life style and not achieve. Therefore it is incumbent upon us the leaders to teach people essential skills to fight against “friends” who don’t have their best interests in mind, to do what’s best for them, to find motivation from the inside, and to face themselves. To be or not to be, that is the question ideal leaders can pose to his or her followers from time to time.

ii. Open-versus close-mindedness

Open-versus close-mindedness is another theme or idea, where Jonathan Livingston Seagull wants to re-create his world, to get away from the hostilities and fighting amongst the gulls because he realized there is more to living than “war all the time.” Therefore, the question for us today is; Are we teaching our kids the prerequisite fundamental skills of reflection, recall, visualization, thinking, contemplation, and meditation to keep the channels of thought and feeling open to all worlds? If the doors of perception remain open to experience, our children/people will understand things not only through the eyes, but with their understanding.

iii Being Present.

Jonathan Livingston Seagull is about being there, being present in the world. But the reality is that we live in three subjective time zones: present, past, and future. Which time should we live in?, it’s better to live in the present where our attention/focus should be. Jonathan felt the flock was living-in-the-past by fighting for food and always feeling bored and angry because of an empty life. On his part, Jonathan wanted more; he had a vision of the future and how great it could be. To reach that paradise, to learn about flying in the sky and in the mind, he had to be focused and living-in-the-present or else he couldn’t control his fear.

iv. Passion and compassion

Jonathan Livingston seagull learned about the joy of flying and diving, being there, and perfection when he was on Earth with more advanced lessons in Heaven. By reflecting on his experiences he discovered what the purposes in life are. He was motivated and wanted to communicate his knowledge to others so they could find their way in the world and transcend a life of searching for food. He was an amazing teacher and communicator because he developed self-awareness, self-knowledge, and self-understanding, and, in turn, became a self-motivated and self-educated seagull. The many “self’s” and ways of being he faced prepared him for the difficult task of teaching the other gulls mired in old world thinking. Jonathan’s passion and compassion demonstrate a high Emotional Intelligence Quotient. Thus is in turn demonstrate to us the need to Teach the self-words that define identity and help our young people realize things about themselves, where they are or are not heading in their lives, and also, give them the ability to determine their destinies (self-determination and responsibility).

v. Practice

Jonathan Livingston Seagull experimented with new ways of flying/diving, but failed and failed until he got it right by practicing. He wasn’t afraid to fail, and would not let it stop him from solving his problems, no matter how bad he felt. Jonathan broke through devastating emotions, conquering fear with courage. Jonathan proves you can make mistakes and survive because he was a rational thinker who resolved conflicts and changed his world.

vi. Consistent learning

Jonathan learned many things on Earth and more in Heaven about speed in flying and in thought. His Heavenly education benefited him as a student of life, living, and as an experimenter. He was inspired by what he learned, and as a believer in love and kindness, wanted to give back to the gulls on Earth. He became a “Super Bird” and returned to Earth to teach the gulls how to re-create their uncreated conscience and lives.

vii. Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a rebel with a cause, a non-conformist:

With these character traits, you might call him courageous in thought and action. Question for us: Are we a rebel and/or a non-conformist in any way in our life?

viii. Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a searcher for truth, truth about flying, diving, living, thinking, teaching, studying, and learning. Question for us: Isn’t searching for truth a value youth should reflect on and how it relates to their lives?

ix. Excellence

Jonathan Livingston Seagull pursued excellence, made many breakthroughs, and asa result, boosted his self-belief and self-confidence. Therefore, it is a worthwhile remind for us to pursue excellence in all our daily endeavors.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Pursuance of excellence: Like Jonathan Livingston Seagull, I will dedicate my time and energy in pursuing excellence in all my undertaking in order to aim at breakthrough in many facets of lives.

Constant search for truths: As much as I can, I will endeavor to search for truth, about life and living, about what is factual and that which are fictions, about the path to self-fulfillment and self-discovery in order to minimize wasting my time and energy on things that are not important to me.

Non-conformist approach: I will also employ a non-conformist approach on some issues which may have yoked and chained us for long. Such an issue may include certain cultural practices whose intents and meaning may have faded due to modernity and civilization. The same way the seagull over looked the tradition to which other birds had been conforming to thus limiting their potentials. I will also overlook some man made barriers in order to reach my full potential

Selflessness, responsibility, loving-kindness, and respect for others: The humanity of any person may be measured by the willingness to give unselfishly the knowledge and wisdom acquired over the years to mentor others in whatever they may do. I will also do whatever is manly possible to serve others and be ready to extend my gracious hand of help whenever needed.

Consistent learning: Jonathan learned many things on Earth and more in Heaven about speed in flying and in thought. His Heavenly education benefited him as a student of life, living, and as an experimenter. He was inspired by what he learned, and as a believer in love and kindness, wanted to give back to the gulls on Earth. I will also endeavor and commit myself to life-long learning and extend and cultivate the same to others around me.

Passion and compassion: Jonathan Livingston Seagull learned about the joy of flying and diving, By reflecting on his experiences he discovered what the purposes in life are. He was motivated and wanted to communicate his knowledge to others so they could find their way in the world and transcend a life of searching for food. As an individual, I will also endeavor to help others around me to discern and find true meaning of living their life to the fullest.

Jonathan sees life as trying to achieve excellence, searching for new ideas, possibilities, and experiences. Just like Jonathan seagull many are the time when we are faced with the feelings of going against the crowd who wants individuals to conform to their life style and not achieve. Therefore it is incumbent upon me to teach people essential skills in order for them to find the true self and inner voices which will make them to succeed in lives

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Most gulls don’t bother to learn more than the simplest facts of flight how to get from shore to food and back again.”

Jonathan Livingston Seagull is motivated internally to create a new world of flight in the air, the mind and imagination, and is a dedicated, enthusiastic bird who wants to give back, to teach others what he has learned so they can achieve greatness. The moral of this is that, Are we motivated from the inside, outside, or both? What makes us want to succeed in life? Where do we get that feeling?

“Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what you already know, and you’ll see the way to fly.”

Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a story of looking inside yourself to grow into who you are. It’s a fun short read about a seagull that is cast out from his flock for focusing too much on learning to fly faster and better. Most seagulls only fly to live, but Jonathan thinks they should live to fly and fly better and better. The key lesson for me from this quote is on how to break conformity and learn new things that can definitely change my life for good.

“Jonathan Seagull discovered that boredom and fear and anger are the reasons that a gull’s life is so short, and with these gone from his thought, he lived a long fine life indeed.”

The story of Jonathan reminds me of the millions of people around the world that have trouble appreciating life and living it to the fullest. It’s easy in a country of luxury and abundance to find yourself in a rut of the day-to-day activities and more and more challenging to appreciate what you have. It’s common for people to be angry about their circumstances or just accept their station in life. And it’s no surprise that many people want some sort of change but fear making a move for something better or different.

When Jonathan was cast out of his flock, he was no longer in danger of getting stuck in the day-to-day boring life that he saw the other gulls living. He had no fears and he chose to live a life where he challenged himself, and thus was never bored even though he was a solitary bird. The best lesson that I can learn and possibly the hardest one to put into practice, will be to eliminate fear, boredom, and anger from my life as much as possible. Jonathan found the freedom to let go. I too should try the same.

“You don’t need me any longer. You need to keep finding yourself, a little more each day, that real, unlimited Fletcher Seagull. He’s your instructor. You need to understand him and to practice him.”

When Jonathan came back to earth, he helped many gulls who had been like him break from the conformity of the flock. They came to depend on him to lead them but there are two lessons we can learn from Jonathan about leadership. Many people need a kick start from a leader for guidance and a nudge to get out there and take the first steps. The first lesson is to lead and encourage others to make the move to do something different. The second lesson is to give them ownership of where they are going. As Jonathan does with Fletcher Seagull, once they have started they can be their own leaders, their own teachers, and they can grow themselves and others. It’s important to give them those nudges.

I’ve spent part of my career in teaching people and then guiding them once they have started their own journey in learning. I’m in a new role where I don’t get the same natural space to be a leader so, like Jonathan, I’ll have to look for a place to go (or return to) to stretch my leadership wings once again.

“There was as much to learn about flight in this place as there had been in the life left behind him. But with a difference. Here were gulls who thought as he thought.”

During Jonathan’s time as an outcast, he is totally alone. He teaches himself to fly better and faster through trial and error. Once he’s learned all he can teach himself, two birds come to take him higher and he moves on to his next life where he finds birds like him and discovers that there is even more to learn about flying. A lesson from this is that, We all long for others that we can identify with. Some people seem to fit in everywhere they go and some people have trouble finding a tribe they can truly feel comfortable with. When I’ve made transitions in my life (moving to a new city, changing jobs or roles, graduating), I’ve most appreciated finding a new group of people that are like me in my new space. There’s a comfort in being confident in who you are and finding others that can identify with you, accept you, and challenge you in the ways you need to be challenged to grow.

“You have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way.”

Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a story about breaking out of the wall of status quo for the sake of conforming. It’s about finding freedom from routine and finding the teacher within you. Ultimately, you have the power to live the life you want to live. To fly higher, fly faster, and live longer. Therefore, in our daily life too, we must break loose the chains which might have held us for long from reaching for our stars and space.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No! The book was short and very clear and its contents are well flowing from first part to another. This was the fourth time I have read this book, the first time being over two decades ago. And fascinating is the fact that every time I read, I get new inspiration and ideas, thus can’t get tired of reading and rereading it again and again.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

No! There was no set exercise in the book for the readers to complete; however, there are countless self-reflection phrases that can keep the reader alert and self-evaluating thus making the book all-appealing and all-season.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

The wit with which Richard Bach has author this book was so fascinating and thrilling. He had written and presented the contents in most appealing and clear way. The main character he used also played his part perfectly well. The catch phrase “I think, therefore I am” runs deep in Jonathan Livingston seagull because he is a thinker, who looks at his parents, the flock, and its Elders and hears about the way life’s supposed to be, which does not ring true for him. He perceives it as close-minded, a life of no fun, excitement, and challenges ahead, and just the same old thing day after day. Jonathan Seagull observes, listens, hears, and understands. He surveys, stops, thinks about, and assesses his world. Thinking is a key to his survival. Thus provoking us to question ourselves: How crucial is thinking to us, on our character formation, and values clarification? Jonathan Livingston Seagull is not afraid to live his life as he sees it. He reflects and questions events and puts them in perspective to understand and appreciate what has happened to him. He doesn’t fear asking the tough questions, facing the unknown, and what he might or might not find out. Thus once again provoking us To think, to think clearly, critically, and creatively, and to question things, in order for us to discern true meaning of our lives and to live them fully.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read?                               10
B. How helpful was the content?                                  10
C. How easy was it to understand?                               9
D. Would you recommend it to others?                       10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it?         9

Keys to Success
Assessment by Diba Kosi Bilinga (Kenya)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main ideas that the author is trying to convey in the book is that nothing is impossible to achieve as long as one is willing to work toward it by clearly defining the purpose, assembling right personalities, employing all the faith and going extra miles. It is a book of its kind whose truth of its contents had stood the test of time thus appealing to all generations.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. Assemble an Attractive Personality

A pleasant personality is a well-rounded and according to Hill, these are the personality to work with in order to achieve goals easily for one’s personality is one’s greatest asset or liability. In my three decades of existence on this universe, I have observed the truth in this sentiment because many people have succeeded because of engulfing and surrounding themselves with able personalities. As an individual, the onus is on me now to start working with personalities who will help me to achieve my life aspirations and at the same time distancing myself from those who may not add much value to my plan.

ii. Use Applied Faith

We have internal senses (touch, sight, hearing, taste and smell) that put us in touch with our external world, however we also have other senses that put us in touch with another reality. Faith is a state of mind, which develops by conditioning our mind to receive Infinite Intelligence. Thus it has slowly dawn on me that whatever I place my hand on, I have to back them up with total faith from conceiving the plans through to its implementations.

iii. Go the Extra Mile

The quality of service rendered plus the mental attitude in which it is rendered equals our compensation. Compensation means everything that comes in to our life including joy, money, and harmony with others, spiritual enlightenment or anything else worthwhile we seek. This book has whispered to me the need to go a bit extra miles in order to achieve my targets. I have come to realization that most of the time we give up may be when we are just about to hit the breakthrough, thus after reading through this book careful, am certain to go any length now in order to push through my plans.

iv. Create Personal Initiative

Andrew Carnegie said to Napoleon Hill ~ “There are two types of people who never amount to anything. There are those who never do anything except what they are told to do. And there are those who cannot even do what they are told to do. The people who get ahead do the things that should be done without being told. And they don’t stop there. They go the extra mile and do much more than is expected of them.” It is crystal clear from the above statement that I have to be a person of several initiatives in order to realize my goals and aspirations. Several personal initiatives can in long run open some doors for individuals with courage and stamina to achieve more successes.

v. Control your Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm is faith in action and it comes from within, although it radiates outwardly in the expression of one’s voice and countenance. I have to employ this inner energy effectively and efficiently all the time by suspending or by keeping at bay all the loopholes for doubt and pessimism. I will gather all the possible passion in all my endeavors in order to reap success.

vi. Enforce Self-Discipline

Self-Discipline means taking possession of your own tongue, emotions, mental attitude, dieting and fasting, politics and Religion and your mind. The book has taught me the value of self-discipline which I have to maintain by all means and at whatever cost. To me being self-discipline is a cornerstone on which we have to build any worthy initiatives that may positively affect individual and societal co-existence.

vii. Inspire Teamwork

Similar to mastermind alliance. Teamwork and cooperation is a priceless asset we can acquire in proportion to our giving as well as going the extra mile, personal initiative, attitude, and enthusiasm. The unique lesson that I have gain from this book is that working with team toward same vision can be a shortcut to reaching those destinations unlike individual working on his/her own. The team should also be highly inspired in order to be more fruitful and productive.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These unique ideas will definitely inspire new insights and understanding which if I fully live by will transform my lives and the lives of those around me directly or indirectly. They had already inspired a brand vision within me and a new way of looking at my surrounding in order to live positively and impact my small world by any means and by measured steps. The loud whispers in the book weren’t just ideas but a sure secrets and tips for those yearning to reach the possible height of their daily aspirations.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.”

Learn from Adversity and Defeat. Individual success can be in exact proportion of the scope of defeat an individual has experienced and mastered.

“Tell me how you use your time and how you spend your money, and I will tell you where and what you’ll be ten years from now.”

Budget our Time and Money – Taking time every day to move closer to our purpose and saving money to ensure steady financial growth.

“Co-ordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose.”

Establish a Mastermind Alliance – A mastermind alliance is built on two or more minds working together in perfect harmony for the attainment of a common objective.

“The way to develop decisiveness is to start right where you are, with the very next question you face.”

Control Your Attention – Prioritizing our time and energy to stay focused on what is most important and beneficial to us is a sure recipe of achieving our goals.

“What you think, so you will become.”

Think Accurately – Accurate thinking is based on two major fundamentals; inductive reasoning (based on the assumption of unknown facts and hypotheses) and deductive reasoning (based on known facts or what are believed to be facts).

“Cherish your vision and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.”

Develop Definiteness of Purpose – Where are you going? Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement.

“Thoughts mixed with definiteness of purpose, persistence, and burning desires are powerful things.”

Build a Positive Mental Attitude – Positive mental attitude is the right mental attitude in all circumstances. We have to keep our mind on the things we want and off the things we don’t want.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

Though it carries pregnant ideas, the author has used most simple language easy to understand and deciphered thus I have clearly understood the book and the message it carries.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

No there is no exercise at the end of the book though the message carried by the book is as thrilling as the exercise should have been.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

Every lines and sentences in the book is very instrumental and mind appealing. Thus the book is for sure life-transforming tools to be recommended to all with burning desires to achieve and impact humanity in all areas of their lives.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

 

 

PsychoCybernetics
Assessment by Diba Kosi Bilinga (Kenya)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The primary theme of this award winning book was on self-image. The secret, Maltz tells us, is this: To really live, that is to find life reasonably satisfying, we must have an adequate and realistic self-image that we can live with. We must find self-acceptance to the way we are.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. Experience is Important

“Human beings always act and feel and perform in accordance with what they imagine to be true about themselves and their environment.” As a plastic surgeon, Dr. Maltz saw example after example of patients who would have their outward appearance transformed (via plastic surgery), but wouldn’t end up any happier as a result of having had their surgeries. In short: their outward appearance would change, but their internal feelings and attitudes would remain the same. In our day to day lives, we have encountered numerous behaviour around us. It seems human beings are subconsciously not contented with how they are formed or formatted by maker. Thus they are in a constant journey to perfect themselves. However the gist of the matter remain that however we changed our outward looks the inside remain the same. This idea had imparted me with wisdom to always accept myself the way I am.

ii. You Can Change Your Self-Image and Success Mechanism

“Whether we realize it or not, each of us carries about with us a mental blueprint or picture of ourselves…It has been built up from our own beliefs about ourselves. But most of these beliefs about ourselves have unconsciously been formed from our past experiences, our success and failures, our humiliations, our triumphs, and the way other people have reacted to us, especially in early childhood.” Although we are not conscious of it, our self-image has developed as a result of our past experiences. We tend to believe this self-image, and live our life based on this belief of ourselves. This explains how some people seem to always be successful, and others constantly fail. Their subsequent experiences will support the self-image they have of themselves. Form this worthy book, I have discovered that true happiness and satisfaction in life comes from “an adequate and realistic self-image that we can live with.”

iii. The Importance of Imagination

“For imagination sets the goal picture which our automatic mechanism works on. We act or fail to act, not because of will, as is so commonly believed, but because of imagination.” Our thoughts and actions are based on what we imagine as truth. Our nervous system reacts appropriately to what “we” think or imagine to be true.”
We often react automatically to our environment. Seeing a Lion will make us feel fear and run. It’s not something we need to think about first. We automatically react to the environment based on what our nervous system tells us, regardless of whether this information is true or not. It is what we believe to be true that causes the reaction. Numerous studies have shown that mental practice improves actual performance. The key is to practice the correct mental image of the actual action. Remember that our physical brain and body functions as a machine which we operate. When we practice something in our mind, we are establishing the goal to aim for. This activity is far more successful than employing will power, or “trying harder.” We are able to relax, picture the process, and enjoy the journey. The take home for me is, the book had illustrated the power of self-belief and imagination.

iv. Using Rational Thinking and Relaxation

”Scientific experiments have shown that it is absolutely impossible to feel fear, anger, anxiety, or negative emotions of any kind while the muscles of the body are kept perfectly relaxed.” Rational thinking works for changing beliefs and behaviors. We do not have to unbury every negative unconscious thought in order to change. Focusing on a mistake or guilty feelings can make the mistake the actual goal. Instead, remember that negative experiences helped us orient towards our goals, and then can be forgotten as we practice traveling in the right direction towards our goals. It has been theorized that those who are successfully hypnotized to do amazing things have simply had negative memories purged so they could achieve greatness. It follows that we can consciously purge negative memories and unlock our own innate success. When we begin to feel negative, look for the cause, and dismiss this cause as absurd. Determine that the irrational will not control us. Repeat this practice whenever negative thoughts and memories start to surface. Look for new, rational, positive beliefs that resonate with you.

v. Making Happy Habits and Having A Successful View

“Happiness is not something that is earned or deserved. Happiness is not a moral issue, any more than the circulation of the blood is a moral issue. Happiness is simply a “state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant a good share of the time.” If you wait until you “deserve” to think pleasant thoughts, you are likely to think unpleasant thoughts concerning your own unworthiness.” Happiness is not selfish, wrong, or something to be earned. Being happy leads to unselfishness, creativity, and helpfulness – naturally. Unhappiness leads to terrible, even criminal behavior. Happiness is learned behavior and thoughts. It must be practiced in the present moment, and cannot “be made contingent upon solving some external problem.” Learning to be happy means being free from the habit of responding negatively to the external things around us. I have learned that working towards goals often leads to feeling happy. It is our thoughts about events that lead to our feelings. If bad things happen, let see them as challenges; then, get ourselves a goal and start working towards it. As Maltz tells us, “Form the habit of reacting aggressively and positively toward threats and problems. Form the habit of keeping goal-oriented all the time, regardless of what happens.” The book had taught me a practical lesson of using my imagination to picture myself handling challenges in positive and smart ways.

vii. Get an Emotional Face Lift and Unlock Your Real Personality
Someone with a good self-image will not easily become emotionally damaged. The same for someone with a self-reliant attitude. “Assume responsibility for your own life and emotional needs.” It is our response to experiences that can leave emotional scars. Practice relaxation, and focusing on peaceful images. This will help prevent these scars.
Condemnation and hatred should not have been given any place in our life. Most of the time, We ourselves err when we hate a person because of his mistakes, or when we condemn him, or classify him as a certain type of person, confusing his person with his behavior.” I have learned that unlocking our real personality is about showing outwardly our “unique and creative self.”

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

The above ideas have helped improve my thinking and out look towards life. I have done and still doing the practical exercises and I have seen positive change in my life. I am practically teaching these lessons now to my family and friends. As a teacher and public speaker in the making, I have had a number of opportunities to visit young adults in schools and I am teaching them these truths. I have benefitted a lot from the self-image psychology that it’s given me a new lease on life. I have recommended this book to a number of my friends.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“I believe that there is One Life, one ultimate source, but that this One Life has many channels of expression and manifests itself in many forms. If we are to “Get More Living out of Life,” we should not limit the channels through which life may come to us. We must accept it, whether it comes in the form of science, religion, psychology, or what not.”

Living with a failure mechanism in place can slow healing, and lead to overall poor health. Resentment and hatred are also bad for our health. Dr. Maltz found that his patients that recovered faster were optimistic, positive thinkers who had a reason to get better – some goal, or something good in their future.

“Mental attitudes can influence the body’s healing mechanisms.”

“This is even obvious with the success of placebo treatments. People who believe they are receiving healing medication improve. What we believe works in your life will very often work for us. Even our views of aging will impact how we age. There are seven needs that, when fulfilled, lead to a better life. These needs are for love, security, creative expression, recognition, new experiences, self-esteem, and the need for “more life the need to look forward to tomorrow and to the future with gladness and anticipation.”
This desire for more life leads to more life. “I believe that we establish this need by looking forward to the future with joy and anticipation, when we expect to enjoy tomorrow, and above all, when we have something important (to us) to do and somewhere to go.”

Creativity also leads to a longer life. Many creative people produce their greatest works after their productive life. It may also explain why some men die soon after they retire. They no longer have a creative/productive outlet.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book contains lots of exercises which were very resourceful to me and my life. Yes I did do them and still continuing to practice them in my day to day lives.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

The questioned in the exercise is very exhaustive and it had almost touched on every aspect of the themes of the book.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 8
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

 

 

Success through a Positive Mental Attitude
Assessment by Diba Kosi Bilinga (Kenya)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The author of the book stressed the fact that we have been bestowed with an immense power to transform our lives. This is the power of positive mental attitude (PMA) and has the ability to attract wealth, success, health, happiness and whatever aims we may have in life. Our attitudes shape our future. PMA is an essential ingredient in all success. The book also highlights some key principles that are necessary in combination with PMA to attain our goals.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. Definiteness of purpose

We have to set clear cut and specific goals. They will motivate us to take concrete actions.

ii. Accurate thinking

We have to Clear our mental clutter including fear of failure, negative feelings, emotions, passions; habits, beliefs and prejudices.

iii. Applied faith

If you are religious or spiritual, ask for divine guidance and help in finding the right solution. If you are not, believe in yourself and the infinite intelligence (Universe) to help you find the solution.

iv. Master mind

We have to surround ourselves with people invested in our success as well as those who can help us reach your goals. “We translate into physical reality the thoughts and attitudes which we hold in our minds, no matter what they are.”

v. Enthusiasm

It is the perfect anti-dote to setbacks and negative emotions. Be your own cheerleader.

vi. Personal initiative

We are not supposed to wait for things to happen. Seek them out and make them happen.
vii. Maintaining sound physical and mental health

Nothing can be accomplished and enjoyed, without good physical and mental health. The bigger the goals, the heavier the lifting we will need to do. Thus we must maintain optimal health.

viii. Controlled attention

We have to stay focused on task at hand and our goals.

ix. Budgeting of time and money

Allocate appropriate time and resources such that our actions and efforts are maximized towards achieving our goals.

x. Learning from defeat

Setbacks and defeats are part of life. But in those defeats, we may succeed in discovering something even greater, if we have the right attitude.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas if well studied and followed will definitely open door of success and prosperity to anyone. We are the product of our own thinking. As long as we harbor positive thoughts in our hearts and optimistic approach to life, we are bound to break the top sealing of our goals and aspirations any time.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“You become what you think about.”

Our mind is a very powerful tool which was at our disposal, and most of us may not realize this in good time thus may end up taking it for granted. Some believe they aren’t in control of what they think because they thoughts seem to be on permanent motion day in day out throughout their life time. But you are in control of your thoughts, and you become what you think about. And that little kernel of truth is the secret power of the mind.

It’s really not a secret after all. The power is available to every single person, including you. This immense power of mind is freely available to every individual on this planet or beyond. However, how we must tap into it brings all the difference. For some this has remain long secret, secreted completely hidden from them and least to say, some even goes into grave when they haven’t release unique treasure bestowed on them.
“The secret” is that you are what you think. You become what you think about. You can create the life you want simply by thinking the right thoughts.

“There is very little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”

Judging from my own experience and also experience from others, I have reached a frighten conclusion that our attitude can make us or break us. Our chances of success or failures are an aggregate of our attitudes toward life and others around us. Positive attitudes build us while negative one destroys us. Let me encourage anyone who is currently reading this lines; Resolve from now on to see your glass of life as half full rather than half empty. Happy people give thanks for the many blessings in life rather than worrying or complaining about the things they do not have. Assume the best of intentions on the part of everyone around you. Most people are pretty decent, honest and are trying to do the very best they know how to. When you look for something good in their words and actions, you will almost always find something. Finally, resolve to be cheerful, no matter what happens. Looking on the bright side is most important when things go wrong. It is easy to be cheerful when everything is going according to plan. But, it is when you encounter unexpected setbacks and difficulties that you demonstrate to yourself, and the world around you, what kind of an attitude you really have.
Make sure that it is a positive one! Optimists seek the valuable lesson in every setback or reversal. Rather than getting upset and blaming someone else for what has happened, they take control over their emotions by saying, “What can I learn from this experience?” Resolve today to develop a positive attitude toward yourself, the people around you and your life.
“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity while optimist see opportunity in every difficult.”

“Whatever your mind can conceive and can believe, it can achieve.”

We are creatures of habit. We tend to follow the picture in our minds created by our parents, our neighborhoods, our towns and the part of the world from which we come. For good or for bad. But we don’t have to. We each have a mind of our own, capable of imagining life the way we want it. We can say yes or no to the million choices we each encounter every single day. Sometimes it’s good to say no, of course, or we wouldn’t get anything at all done. But the most successful people say yes to life overall. They are open to possibilities. They believe they have the power to make changes in their lives. They aren’t afraid to try new things or to fail. In fact, many of the most successful companies reward people who have the courage to try new things, even if they fail, because the things we call failures often turn into extremely successful things. Did you know that many inventions were born out of trials and errors by those brave and bold individuals?
Thus complacent kills reasoning and growth, for us to stay healthy and focused; we ought to use this untapped treasure freely given to us by our Maker-brain.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No! The book though a bit long is very clear and its contents are well flowing from first part to another. This was the first time I have read this book and for sure I was glued to it for sometimes because of the wisdom and candid presentation of the able author. Without any aorta of doubt, this is more than just a usually book. It is a well document inspirational tool with landmark implication to the mind and life of its readers.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, after every chapter, the book contain some thought provoking questions what will lead the reader to do a bit of soul searching and meditation. The series of questions was well and carefully chosen to induce reasoning and new insights in the mind of readers thus leading to a life changing approach.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No. Everything has been exhaustively covered by the questions.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

How to Win Friends & Influence People
Assessment by Diba Kosi Bilinga (Kenya)

1. What is the main idea the author is trying to convey in the book?

Handling People
Carnegie discusses basic techniques for dealing with people in a variety of situations, rather than focusing on a particular objective. Carnegie offers advice and anecdotes on ways to be a kinder, more considerate, more compassionate person in dealing with others. One of his main tips is to avoid criticizing others, because criticism can cause resentment and make the situation worse rather than better (Chapter 1). He also recommends giving “honest and sincere appreciation,” something most people crave but often don’t get.
Carnegie also points out that people usually do something because they want to do it—because they will gain by doing it. Therefore to get someone to do something, you have to figure out how to make them want to do it. Although commands, intimidation, or threats of punishment can be effective, such tactics certainly won’t motivate others or win any friends (Chapter 3).

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your life?

i. Being Likeable

Most people want to be liked, and in Part 2, Carnegie offers several ways to make people like you more. Some suggestions overlap with “good manners,” such as making an effort to remember a person’s name (Chapter 3) and wearing a smile as your everyday expression (Chapter 2). If these are not natural tendencies, readers should work actively to acquire them. Carnegie’s other suggestions focus more on other people than on oneself because “people are not interested in you … They are interested in themselves—morning, noon, and after dinner.” Therefore to get people to like and be interested in you, you must first show you are interested in them. Develop a real interest in others; make an effort to find out about them, and remember what you learn (Chapter 1). Talk about things that are important to the other person (Chapter 5), and listen actively, and with interest, as others talk (Chapter 4). People will also like you if you make them feel important, such as by offering a sincere compliment (Chapter 6). People are driven by the desire to feel important, which Carnegie calls the “urge that has been responsible for civilization itself.” Thus by satisfying that desire you will instantly become more likeable to them.

ii. Winning People Over

Many people in the world think differently than you do and may disagree with you. Part 3 of the book provides suggestions on how to win such people over to your way of thinking. Carnegie has several “rules” to follow on this topic. First, avoid arguments whenever possible; even if you win the argument, you may lose the respect or cooperation of the other person (Chapter 1). Moreover it’s hard to win someone over if you’ve just humiliated them in an argument. Similarly, don’t say to anyone, “you’re wrong.” Nobody likes to hear those words, and as a result they may stubbornly refuse to listen to your point of view (Chapter 2). Listen respectfully to and consider their ideas, showing others they’re important, and you are more likely to win them over. Finally be willing to admit when you are wrong and do it immediately and emphatically (Chapter 3). You probably will be called out for your error anyway, so you may as well own up to it first instead of making yourself a target for others’ criticism.

iii. Seeing through other people’s lens

Developing specific states of mind will help win people to your way of thinking. Perspective-taking is one of these; trying to see things from the other person’s point of view can lead to breakthroughs in understanding and may even help avoid mistakes (Chapter 8). Honestly considering the other person’s viewpoint can help you reach a compromise benefiting both parties and at the same time maintain friendly relations. A second state of mind to develop is to “be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires” (Chapter 9). Therefore, not only should you strive to understand the other person’s viewpoint intellectually (perspective-taking), you also should try to connect emotionally (sympathizing). By showing you understand and genuinely sympathize with your opponent’s position, you are far more likely to win the person over to your way of thinking.

iv. Letting the other person do most of the talking

To win people over Carnegie also offers specific suggestions and rhetorical techniques for sensitive conversations. One suggestion is to begin a discussion “in a friendly way” rather than opening with aggression (Chapter 4), which will likely make the person defensive and unwilling to bend in your direction. Carnegie further recommends letting the other person do most of the talking; people like to hear themselves talk and want to feel as though they’ve been heard and recognized (Chapter 6). Get the other person to say yes as soon as possible in the conversation by asking questions they can’t disagree with (Chapter 5). Saying yes relaxes the body and leads people closer to your point of view.

v. Plant the idea in the other person’s mind

When you have a new idea to present, it is often effective to plant the idea in the other person’s mind and then let them run with it (Chapter 7). People are more likely to give credence to their own ideas rather than support yours, so “let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.” Another suggestion is to appeal to the other person’s noble character to get them to do things your way (Chapter 10); people like to think the best of themselves, so call on them to “do the right thing.” Two additional techniques include dramatizing ideas to make a greater impact on people (Chapter 11) and “when all else fails,” issuing a challenge people can’t resist (Chapter 12).

vi. Leading without Offending
Leaders often have to make difficult decisions or offer criticism that can offend or cause resentment, whether in business, education, or personal life. In Part 4 Carnegie advises on how leaders can encourage people to change their behavior without alienating them.

vii. Begin with praise and honest appreciation

Several of Carnegie’s suggestions deal with creating positive feelings. First he advises leaders to “begin with praise and honest appreciation” when it’s necessary to criticize (Chapter 1). Opening by saying something nice soothes the other person’s feelings and makes it easier to accept the criticism. Similarly, offering praise whenever someone shows improvement (Chapter 6), will encourage them to continue improving. You can also shape people’s behavior by giving them “a fine reputation to live up to” (Chapter 7). For example praising someone for leadership can encourage them to show further leadership qualities.

Finally Carnegie offers several techniques leaders can use to change people’s behavior without creating undue resentment. One way is by offering encouragement when a person has a fault that needs correction (Chapter 8). “Make the fault seem easy to correct” by pointing out the person’s good qualities that will help them overcome the problem. Another way to gain cooperation is to show the person how they will benefit from doing as you suggest; make them happy to do what you want (Chapter 9). A third suggestion is to refrain from giving direct orders (Chapter 4) and instead ask polite questions that lead the other person to do or behave as you wish. Make your wishes sound like suggestions rather than orders, and when possible provide the person with the choice to adopt the suggestion or not. By consulting others’ wants and needs, you will be more likely to gain their cooperation.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

It will help me to make other people feel important and worthwhile in my engagement with them. This is a sure ingredient in winning friends and influencing them toward a desired goals or directions.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Let’s realize that criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home.”

Carnegie points out the futility of criticizing others because people rarely believe they are incorrect or doing anything wrong. Instead such people are likely to return fire, finding fault with their critics rather than heeding the criticism.

“The difference between appreciation and flattery? One is sincere and the other insincere.”
The author suggests that people crave appreciation, and the reader will benefit by showing generous appreciation to others. However, he cautions, people can see through insincere flattery. Therefore, any praise or compliment given should be true and should come from the heart.

“How can I tie up what I want to what he wants?”

In an anecdote Carnegie paraphrases a father who can’t get his young son to eat. Instead of trying to cajole or force the boy, the man realizes he must make the boy want to eat. He then explains to the boy that eating will help him grow big and strong, thus motivating his son to eat on his own. The story illustrates Carnegie’s principle that to make a person do something, you must make them want to do it.

“To think rightly is to create … We become like that on which our hearts are fixed.”

As Carnegie discusses the pursuit of happiness, he emphasizes the importance of maintaining a positive attitude. Thoughts create reality, he says, so in focusing on positive actions, results, and personality traits (rather than on possible negative outcomes or faults), people are more likely to create the happy life they want.

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound.”

One of the most overlooked ways to make a person like you, says Carnegie, is simply to learn their name. A person’s name is intimately tied up with their identity and ego, and by using their name, you acknowledge the importance of their individual existence. Carnegie also notes that it is simply good manners to learn people’s names.

“An interesting conversationalist? Why, I had said hardly anything at all. I had listened intently.”

In the context of an anecdote about a conversation with a botanist who talked nonstop, Carnegie asserts one of the easiest ways to become a “good conversationalist” is to stop talking and listen instead. People love to talk about their own interests more than any other subject, he says, so they will enjoy themselves when you listen attentively. Even if you say very little, they will think the conversation is excellent.

“I appointed myself as an unsolicited and unwelcome committee of one to correct him.”

Carnegie discusses his own mistake in trying to correct another guest during casual conversation at a formal, celebratory banquet. The matter was nothing more than an unimportant bit of trivia, yet Carnegie wanted to show off his knowledge. In hindsight he realizes it was neither the time nor the place to a pick a fight, and he had no good reason for doing so.

“You can’t win an argument.”
Carnegie advises readers to avoid arguments whenever possible because they usually leave at least one party unhappy. Instead he advises finding points of agreement with the other person to build rapport.

“A barber lathers a man before he shaves him.”

In this chapter Carnegie advises the reader to compliment people before mentioning their mistakes. Much as lather makes a shave smoother, beginning a conversation with sincere praise of the person at fault can help make the situation less tense or painful.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

None at all. To me everything is flowing and easy to understand.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes, though few.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

None.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10 ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10