Dennis Korbla Amego Penu – Assessments

As A Man Thinketh
Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book portrays the mind as the ultimate maker of a man, his circumstance, the past and future. It introduces the power of the mind to be able to transform and conform, make or break, build or destroy. It encourages the maximum use of the mind in order for a man to achieve prosperity and good living. It treats the mind as a farm, a vending machine or a miller, whatever is put in it determines what comes out as the ultimate product.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

a. Thought gives birth to character
“Man’s character is the complete sum of all his thoughts”: This idea summarises the very entirety of the book. This idea to me is very paramount to the extent that all actions stem from ideas. These ideas either have been born out of passion, feeling or an overarching zeal to succeed and achieve goals. This gives credence to the other assertion in chapter one that says “Acts are the blossom of thoughts”. I remember times when I have to expend a lot of energy and time planning to get a project hosted. These thoughts of bringing people together I believe give me the kind of affinity for people and to understand their strengths and weaknesses. My aim of getting people organised and functionary make me have the traits of an extrovert.

b. The outer world shapes itself to suit the inner being
The principle of the outer character determinants link to the inner was well explained. I understand by what principle this link between the outer world and the inner operate. I agree with this principle to the extent that we are prone to seeing people the way we perceive or anticipate their characters to be. I believe this is the basis of prejudice and stereotype. I sometimes personally have the feeling that if I gave some people I saw around me the opportunities they deserve, it was going to be worth it. We are sometimes crowded by the kind of experiences we have in the past and these crowd our thoughts and closes all doors to any future endeavours with that particular person, item or activity. The idea that man has no control of his circumstances, but thoughts, and therefore has indirect control of his circumstances I believe is also founded.

c. The body is the servant of the mind
Chapter three gives credence to the scientific explanation of why people have long life due to the purity of thought. As a trained biomedical scientist, I appreciate the role that hormones have in the management and cause of ailments. Thoughts and moods have direct bearings on how our hormonal levels are and their effect on our health. I appreciate this phenomenon even more with the explanation given in the book concerning diet and old age. Accumulations of thoughts I agree are very much linked with health.

d. All thoughts should be purpose-driven
During my development as a student there have been instances where my aim at going into health diplomacy and development had come under strong test. The field is not popular and to get settled in a job, diplomacy is not the first option to choose in Ghana. I read the biomedical sciences and thought that my focus had been disturbed. But my strong ambition to work for development and diplomacy has kept me on track and I still see myself doing the very things that will get me to my desired destination. Sometimes the nature of our ambitions seems so huge that we begin to think that they are impossible. I have learnt that fear is the bane of success and that “he who conquers fear and doubt has conquered failure”. “Thought allied fearlessly to purpose becomes a creative force”.

e. Achievement and failure are the direct result of the heart.
Even though we observe that people could be of help to others, I think it is laudable that a helping hand only works in the case where the recipient of such help is willing to benefit from that help. As a teaching assistant, I have on a few occasions been unable to help a student get better grades because there was no effort from the person to benefit from such a gesture. “A strong man cannot help a weaker man unless the weaker is willing to be helped”. The additional assertion in chapter 4 which says; “achievements are based on the object of attainment” explains to me why two people pursuing the same goal may put in different efforts; “the more you sacrifice the higher the achievement”

f. Dreams have made our world what it is today
Organisations have visions and missions which they religiously stick to. After reading this book, I am beginning to measure personalities and firms by the kind of visions they have. I have always shared with my friends my belief that only those who dream to write history and ever made it are honoured by history. History favours those who contribute to making it just as “the universe favours the virtuous”.

g. Calmness is power
I measure people by the kind of ideas they share with me. By this book I understand that such words have deep roots in ideas and thoughts that have been nurtured either voluntarily or involuntarily. “Calmness of the mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom”. I have seen instances where my colleagues confess their judgement of wisdom based on how composed people are in times of crisis. The test of a man is truly when there is a storm. I appreciate knowing that self control and self-governance are inherent in a calm person. “Serenity comes from self control”. “Self control is strength”.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

In my quest to lead, I will be responsible for doing individual thinking as well as thinking for multitudes. It becomes paramount for me to use the power of my thoughts to influence my society As a youth seeking to develop my capabilities in Leadership, I need to take hold of the things I think about and how to nurture my ideas to fruition. This process is a lasting process that has many steps and challenges. The three major watch words in this book for me are that: self-control is strength; right thought is mastery and calmness is power. The major lesson of taking control of my thoughts to set myself free from my limitations is very paramount. In my youth and community work, I deal with people; optimists and pessimists. In my quest to break through the limitations I have as an African, I will need to strengthen my thoughts and convictions as I move forward. My big ambition of becoming a health development expert stems from the fact that I wish to see changes in the paradigm of our health sector in Ghana. The book draws my attention to the power inherent in my thoughts and how to harness it. It motivates me to continue to nurture my ambitions and makes me realise the obligation of taking control of my thoughts if I aim at being a good leader. These lessons have rejuvenated my resolve to develop my potentials and help change my society. The world is becoming increasingly complex and the complication demands an elevation of thought in order to survive. This lessons I have learnt from this book are particularly suitable for the development of good thinking by youth in areas where there are serious societal limitations. More so, resource of thought is available to everyone who cares to use it without monetary price and has no limitations. The ideas in here are therefore valuable.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Serenity comes from self control”. “Self control is strength”:

Sound judgement is begotten by a careful analysis of circumstances. It prevents misjudgement of situations. This is the mark of a composed person.

“The more you sacrifice the higher the achievement”:

Cause and effect is a formidable phenomenon in the order of world events. Input is always likely to be equivalent to output. The more we expect the more we should put in. This is workable in all spheres of human endeavour.

“He who conquers fear and doubt has conquered failure”;

I hold the opinion that fear clouds our judgment and magnifies challenges. Many years of planning could be destroyed by a second of fear.

“Acts are the blossom of thoughts”

“A strong man cannot help a weaker man unless the weaker is willing to be helped”

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

“Circumstances do not make man; it reveals him to himself”

Even though I agree that our thoughts have a bearing on what we experience I also believe that circumstances are not entirely thought-produced; some circumstances are exclusively external and have no relation whatsoever with the inner being. Let’s look at the child who has been born into a poor family in a slum. No matter how visionary this kid may be, the limitations are telling and contribute to the character and thoughts of the person

The book suggests that a person perceived as good could have suffering and a person perceived as bad could have a good life. The book explains the fallacy of superficial judgement. But my concern is; how the equivalence between a bad thought and suffering is measured. A person may not be entirely good but could just have a minimal bad thought translate into a calamity for the person. For me this book was silent in explaining the magnitude equation between thought and circumstance. How much bad thought translates into how much suffering?

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book did not contain any specific exercises. However, the lessons that I identified were compelling enough to set me think about ways through which I could develop that attitude or virtues. The lessons are appealing and I am determined to cultivate and inculcate them.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

The book was loudly silent on the doctrine of divinity. It seems to suggest that man is the sole architect of his circumstances. Where does God come in?

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 9
B. How helpful were the contents? 7
C. How easy was it to understand? 6
D. Would you recommend it to others? 7
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8

Jonathan Livingstone Seagull
Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book addresses the problem of limitation of capabilities because of fear of rejection by the societal status quo. It reveals the power of thoughts and confidence in ensuring freedom. Jonathan wanted to be free to operate in his own realm and not just be limited by ‘natural’ hindrances and the conformity to societal status quo. He pays the price for nurturing such ambition.

In another vein, the book exposes the potency of positive defiance, strength of thought and the belief in one’s convictions to change the mindset of a society which was hitherto unresponsive to change. If we are willing to make personal sacrifices for very good courses, we can make the whole world ‘see the light’.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

a. I need to explore my potential
In the first chapter of the book, Jonathan makes a statement; “I just want to know what I can do and what I can’t do”. There are many things that are inherent in us that we’ve never experienced. This is mostly because we are either content with ourselves and our achievement or are scared of failure in trying out new things. Recently, (19 February 2011) I was able to successfully lead a group of university students and graduates to host the maiden edition of a regional Model United Nations conference. Until this time, I was of the opinion that I was only ideal for working as a managing director. I did not know so much about my potential to be solely in charge of harnessing a team to organize such an involving and delicate event.

b. One Step at a Time.
It takes a lot of nerves to be able to dare into an unexplored realm. The difficulty with doing this always seems to create a gloomy picture of our ambitions. There’s very often a “can’t do” voice that seeks to enlarge our fears and limitations as with Jonathan, when a weak voice showed him his limitations. However, the lesson learnt from the book is that big ambitions can be achieved with on stride at a time, no matter how small. First heights, then speed, then balance etc. Since High School, I have aimed at being an international diplomat on health and development. At the time, it was unthinkable; but now having directly volunteered for the UN and other international organisations, the dream is very much in sight.

c. Make what you want out of what you have
‘Jonathan made short wings out of the natural long ones he had’. Looking at what it takes to get where he wanted to go Jonathan was determined to improvise to achieve his goal. It is always important to have this ability. It is not easy for someone to identify your problem from outside and give you the tool to solve it. First I must identify it and then look out for methods of solving it or filling in my deficiency; then I seek the tool to fill-in. If I do not get anyone to volunteer help, I work it out myself.

d. Like minds think alike
The above assertion was reiterated in this book. Jonathan felt happier and was more enthusiastic about what he wanted to do. He met people who were ready to help him take up the challenges he had always dared to venture and he had the applause he deserved. I personally remember when I had the dream of working on a West-African project. The idea was compulsive but I needed someone else in the sub-region who shared the same idea to collaborate with. This idea remained so until I met a Nigerian friend who worked together with me on planning the proposal. We have strong hopes of getting it implemented.

e. We choose our next world from what we learn in this one
“Our actions determine our future”; I am an embodiment of that saying. I have nostalgic moments of the time when I was in Junior High School. My desire to read and speak about the things I read is the precursor of what I have become today; even my application and selection into this program of Global Leadership.

f. ‘Heaven’ is perfection
Many times I have sought to create an ideal world. A world I see suitable for myself. This book has thought me that that ideal world can be attained if only I attain perfection. “One who has touched excellence in his learning has no need of that kind of promise”. “Excellence is the last resort”

g. Love is giving back to people what you’ve learnt
Jonathan had wandered far into another world to gain learning and experience. In spite of the neglect and shame he endured from his past world, he still was committed to making his new found “treasure” known to his folks back home. In Geneva I learnt about the ideals of the UN conferences. I am now introducing this model of best practices into our Model UN curriculum in Ghana. The more I learn, the more my responsibility to relay and this is what I intend to do with my learning from IIGL.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

As a Ghanaian youth seeking to develop my capabilities in Leadership, I need to take hold of the things I think about and how to nurture my ideas to fruition. This process is a lasting process that has many steps and challenges. The major lesson of taking control of my thoughts to set myself free from my limitations is very paramount. In my youth and community work, I deal with people; optimists and pessimists. In my quest to break through the limitations I have as an African, I will need to strengthen my thoughts and convictions as I move forward. My big ambition of becoming a health development expert stems from the fact that I wish to see changes in the health care system in Ghana. The book motivates me to continue to nurture this ambition and makes me realise the obligation of sharing my knowledge and skills if I wish to show love. These lessons have rejuvenated my resolve to develop my potentials and help change my society. The world is becoming increasingly complex and the complication demands an elevation of thought in order to survive. This lessons I have learnt from this book are particularly suitable for the development of good thinking by youth in areas where there are serious societal limitations. This is why I see this book very useful.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“We choose our next world from what we learn in this one”:

Our future is determined by the kind of stepping stones that we utilise and the steps that we take. Our efforts today have a bearing on what doors will open to us in future towards our required destination.

“Love is giving back to people what you’ve learnt”:

To share is to care. It will be difficult for me defend my love for my country if I am unable to use my acquired knowledge to transform lives and society.

“The gull sees farthest who flies highest”:

As one ascends higher, there is more exposure to the opportunities of life. We get a better understanding of life if we delve deeper and if we explore more. This is the reason why I see ambition as an important step to human and societal development.

“Overcome space and all we have is here; overcome time and all we have is now”

This assertion sounds laudable but it has some aorta of vagueness in its understanding. Space and time are the ingredients that foster development and growth. However the idea of overcoming space and time is not clear and its achievement seems to have many facets.

“Break the chains of your thought and you break the chains of your body”

The mind has control of the body (As a man thinketh). If we continue to think about our limitations we’ll be unable to identify and pursue our strengths and potentials. Action is initiated by the mind and inaction is a state of the mind.

“Change is Difficult”

Of Course it is. But it is worth it.

“Boredom, fear and anger are the reasons a seagull’s life is so short”

I agree that inactivity is the recipe for ill-health and suffering.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

“Overcome space and all we have is here; overcome time and all we have is now”

This assertion sounds laudable but it has some aorta of vagueness in its understanding. Space and time are the ingredients that foster development and growth. However the idea of overcoming space and time is not clear and its achievement seems to me to have many facets.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book did not contain any specific exercises. However, the lessons that I identified were compelling enough to set me think about ways through which I could develop that attitude or virtues. The lessons are appealing and I am determined to cultivate and inculcate them.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

The book stopped short of extrapolating the long-term effect of Jonathan’s coming back and his sharing. It leaves me to picture the kind of world created by that gesture. I wish that it had been cleared for every reader.

Secondly, Jonathan met people who were like him, but the book fell short of introducing the reader to the background of their ascendency to their “heaven”. Such background I believe is important for the reader to contrast the difference in the commitment by Jonathan and the other gulls.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 7
B. How helpful were the contents? 8
C. How easy was it to understand? 7
D. Would you recommend it to others? 8
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 7

Keys To Success

Assessment By:  Dennis Korbla Amego Penu

 

1.  What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

 

The book creates a roadmap towards achieving success. As explained in the introduction and running till the end, the focus of the writer (Napoleon) is to make cogent arguments in favour of the concept that achieving success is a choice as well as a goal. Hence it is those who have this goal and desire who are able to achieve it. The 17 principles explained in this book are based on information that the writer has gathered about people who have used them on their road to success. It creates the outline that runs from conception with the mind to effort through the body. It encourages the discipline of the mind and the body to work in harmony in the implementation of these principles towards success.

 

2.  What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

 

A.  The value of wealth that comes with success is that, it carries with it the lessons you have learned in acquiring it

The toils and sweat of achieving success is a strong force towards staying in it. I am quick to start thinking about how to start spending a cedi given me as a gift than I am when I have actually worked for it. And as the book explains the point, I have seen many people who inherit riches and are spend-thrift. The ease with which money flows into the palms are just as they flow out: except when such a person has had the opportunity of learning from experience.

 

B.  There’s no scarcity of opportunities: it’s only a shortage of imagine

At the time inventions were on the increase, I am sure there were possibly some people who also thought that everything that needed to be done had been done. As I have always perceived, the infinite room of perfection also covers the infinite room of opportunities. With my work experience in NGO work and having come into contact with many NGOs that have similar goals, I think that the ultimate aim of development work is making life better for people. And of course, life can never be best, it can only get better. Therefore for as long as this is so, the interpretation of a challenge with the right attitude can lead to an opportunity. There are times I shy away from opportunities because I think that I am not ready for the challenge and the effort it demands in meeting it. Open-mindedness is the key to identifying viable opportunities: and I say ‘viable’ bearing in mind that adjective itself is influenced by perception.

 

C.  Go the extra mile

Since my participation in volunteer work as a High School graduate, I have always had the urge to commit my time and energy voluntarily to the course of a worthwhile project including the one I am involved with: leadership development. I have always shared the view that you are perceived to have the capacity to do more if you volunteer. Employers are quick to note that: ‘if this person could do this for free, he/she could do more for a pay. Looking at the expectation that employers have of youth seeking employment, I think that there is more favour that employees could amass with going the extra mile.

 

D.  Control your emotions

I have seen great men who have fallen because they were unable to put their emotions in check. I am of the belief that emotions are capable of getting you into situations that your reasoning cannot justify and that will have adverse effects on the ego. As unique as emotions are, I have always held the view that it is important to keep them personal and not extend them to adversely affect other people. If I am angry, I should not extend my anger to another fellow who has no inkling my emotional state at the time. For me this rule is best applied to negative emotions since they have the potential of warding-off business partners and friends. It portrays you in a position that may not be wholly representative of your person. However, unfortunately experiences people have about a person due to emotional outbursts last longer than expected.

 

E.  Controlled attention

Just a day before I read Chapter 11 of the book and wrote this assessment, I was discussing the theory of focussing on one goal and working wholeheartedly towards it. I mentioned to her that there is that theory of not putting all of one’s eggs in one basket. Otherwise there was that risk of losing it all. She kept insisting that diversification of focus creates weak determination and I again raised the point that back-ups were very important in the pursuance of an agenda. Barely hours after we had that discussion, I am reading the same theory being explained by Napoleon and I seem to understand the logic in that reasoning. But then, does controlled attention really eliminate the reality of risk? This is something I will deal extensively with in later section of this assessment.

 

 

F.  Different thoughts can combine to give a bigger and sometimes different idea.

A few months ago a friend called me that he had a huge task of drafting a research proposal for the consideration of a regional body in Africa. This invitation was towards a grant that valued over 20,000 dollars. As research assistant, he had been given this task by his supervisor and had just 48 hours to pull it through. He was overwhelmed and needed a hand. Of course I knew that, but for the time, he could have got a draft in place but then he needed another mind to inspire him and support his ideas to finish the task in time. It was a big challenge we knew that, but we were also convinced that with our ‘powers’ combined we could pull it off…..and we did. Now we are happy we did, our ideas coupled with the supervisors’ input have won us the Gold Award.

 

G.  Infect others with enthusiasm and teamwork will be the inevitable result

As a leader, I am responsible for creating the energy and zest I wish to see in my people. Owing to the fact that people may be having varying moods at various times, the leader needs to maintain the emotional focus of his fellow compatriots.

 

3.  How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how? 

 

As I have already stated in my earlier writing most of these principles have in some ways been manifested in my life experiences and easily fall on the ideologies I have formed about work and relationships with people.

The principles in this book appear so naturally in life that they can easily be identified and worked on. For me I think that my meetings with people easily bring out the faults and strengths that I have in my dealings with other people. I find the principle of inspire teamwork and enthusiasm very useful in the sense that it is likely to enhance my interaction with the people I work with. This is especially because I work with people who have volunteered their time and therefore need a lot of motivation and a sense of belonging and a feeling of importance within the organisational framework.

 

The concept of self-discipline also becomes very important because the more I come into contact people, the higher the probability of being influenced, swayed, or having a diversion in attention. Being able to maintain my conscious focus to be able to control by unconscious power is therefore very important, especially when I am very aware that the people I work with may not necessarily have the same discipline.

 

4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

 

“Whatever your mind can conceive and believe; your mind can achieve”:

This particular concept is a very difficult one to accept and understand. It is however the initial driving-force of any positive initiative and conviction. At a time when you have been moved to act it is the belief that what you have planned can materialise. This saying is therefore important to me because it can permeate all levels of aspiration whether big or small. I think that the challenge of applying this is from the very beginning of every endeavour one undertakes.

 

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

 

None.  However, I think that this book was written in very basic language that makes it very easy to appreciate. I think the author did well to make it void of propounded complex philosophical jargon and terminologies.

 

6.  Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

 

There were no specific exercises that readers had to carry out. However, I think that the concepts appealed enough to the every-day experiences and this contributes to its practicality

 

7.  Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

 

None. I have covered all of such issues in the earlier part of this assessment.

 

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

 

A.  How interesting was it to read?   9

B.  How helpful were the contents?   9

C.  How easy was it to understand?     9

D.  Would you recommend it to others?   10

E.   What is the overall rating you would give it?      9

Psycho-cybernetics

Assessment By:  Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

 

The book addresses the concept of creating yourself through your own thoughts. It capitalises on the power of the self image in making or breaking a person. It highlights the ability of self-image to motivate the actions and inactions of a person and the power of thought and self-perception to open the door to either a blissful or gloomy life.

 

In the architecture of the being, Psycho-cybernetics buts the human body and structure under the control of the mind as it explains thought as the known objective to which the ‘slave body’ works and strives to achieve what the ‘master mind’ has accepted in principle as the truth, reality or the objective. The guiding principle therefore is that as the mind is the maker of the man, the desired use of the mind will invariably create a desired environment to which the body is committed to.

 

2.  What  were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life. 

 

a.  I can CRAFT the image I want of myself

The Second chapter of the book explains the conscious effort of creating a desired image of the self. It explains it as CRAFT: Cancelling, Replacing, Re-affirming, Focussing and Training. Sometime early this year, I had the task of leading the organisation of a conference; something I had always done as a member of a group until then. I was now to lead. I had thought I was incapable of leading such processes but somehow I think I unconsciously went through these steps. And they are clearer now that I have read about the systematic steps involved. It happened, and I couldn’t believe I had just led that process.

 

b.   Fake It till You Make it.

I once had the adage “Dream it and you’ll live it”.  But I think this one makes it more practical because I think in faking it, you live it consciously, unlike the dream, and the achievement of the fake objective is enhanced. I still have the problem of easily finding alternative objectives when I am faced with problems in my course…..and this idea could help me in my struggle to defeat that.

 

c.  Creative Ideas come in the relaxed mood

I have been faced with situations at our executive meetings where decisions were meant to be taken and ideas were needed to improve our programs. On many occasions, the ideas that came after the meeting, when I was on my way home easily fitted the problem at hand. In other cases where very ideas had sprung up at the meetings, I had received calls from my colleagues later telling me how best we could modify such principles and ideas. In fact most of the ideas we have implemented in my organisation had been done after series of modifications borne out of later reflections.

 

d.  Sow SEEDS

If there is one long battle I have been fighting, it is anxiety: worrying about things to happen in the future. I have learnt from this concept that most situations are a dealt with as they present themselves not with pre-conceived ideas and fears and as long as we perceive situations as threats, we were unlikely to get them solved. Still in this context, relaxation becomes the most prudent of approaches to such issues

 

e.   A man or a Woman without a goal is like a ship without a rudder

Since Senior High School I have come to appreciate the social sciences and the humanities. Even though I had gone on to study the pure sciences and the health sciences in the University, I still find myself doing things that point at my desire and aim to become a development expert and an international diplomat. I have the easy urge to take on roles that predispose me to these ends and that continue to unravel daily, my liking and affinity for the humanities.

 

f.   Set Goals the SMART way

In the assessment of these steps to setting goals, I have identified a concept that gave me a new understanding of these guidelines to setting goals: “Ask yourself, what’s in it for me”. I believe that there are always motivations for actions, and without them it will be impractical that a person will commit all resources to it. Setting this parameter in the SMART approach makes it natural enough to be understood and appreciated

 

g.  Life is Neither Fair nor Unfair

There has been the old adage that talks about the unfairness of life and this seems to be a popular saying for most people as an explanation their failures. Sometimes I have used it as well, when I see people who I presume haven’t put much effort towards gaining the reward I think they’ve got. I ask myself, “Why these chips must fall to this lazy or undeserving person, considering that it is someone else who has worked for it, deserves or needs it more?” However, looking at the explanation offered by this book on the neutrality of life and its fragility, I look at my life and think that at times when I have mentioned to myself that I had been dealt unfair blows by life, I still see certain fortunes that have fallen to me out of little sweat. I conclude; it is easier for us to remember misfortunes than fortunes, and this makes us miserable.

 

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

 

Fear and anxiety have been issues that I have battled with for some time. I have confidences in my abilities to perform when the task falls in line with something I am good at. However, when I have the task of doing something that falls outside my strengths, I begin to get anxious and more so when there have been cases of failure with that activity in the past. The idea of life and its unfairness has been a long held view, and this book’s explanation of the points against that assertion makes me realise the power our thoughts have in chaining us to a particular course: if we believe that in our lives, unfairness befalls us often, we are reluctant to take up new challenges, we miss opportunities, and life seems more and more unfair. I ask myself now, “is it the same dish of life that has served me the good fortunes that I have enjoyed in my life-time, as compared to those that I saw as bad”? Is there a reason of this ‘double standards’ except for the mere fact that fruits of life are indifferent and the meaning they get are only based on my interpretations and perceptions. The same life that was supposed to be unfair to me could not also have been fair to me at the same time. The interpretation you give it is what it becomes.

4.  Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Having the right self-esteem can create longevity”:

As someone with a background in the health sciences, I accept this assertion made by the book. My single word basis for this phenomenon is the fact that Stress of any part of the body works in a wear and tear fashion. There more we tear down our internal physical environment, we lose the zest and strength for life and our bodies’ mechanisms easily cave-in to the pressures of malfunctions and injuries which when accumulated, have the ultimate result of incapacitation or death. Stress reduces effective judgement and creates a room for exhaustion and emptiness. These for me are the indicators of a dissipating life. The exuberance of life stays longer when there is the motivation to live. It is important to give the bodily mechanism something for it to fight for or live for. Desperation and frustration borne out of stress are the initial killers of cells. The more cells we kill, the quicker we die.

 

5.  Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

 

I find the contents of the book to have logical explanation of its concepts and phenomena. The arguments made in favour of the issues make sense and are easy to relate with. However, my concern is that the efficacy or appropriateness of the exercises recommended may vary depending on the environment to which the person reading belongs. At the same time I find some of them difficult to practice despite the fact they are clear. I am sure this difficulty may not be for others in a different regime. For example, the relationships that exist between people in Africa are different from that in Europe and Asia, and such cultural differences could make the achievement of the same effects as purposed by the exercises recommended variable.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

 

The book had very good exercises that aimed at transforming thinking of persons towards the control of their servo-mechanisms. I gave the exercises the first hand shot to identify those that had the potential of transforming some parts of my faulty thinking. Later on I am going to devote considerable to the daily use of such steps. Notable among them is the CRAFT methodology of changing self-perception.

 

7.  Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

I want to take the opportunity to compare the usefulness of the information I gathered from the earlier version of the book and the revitalized one by Bobbe Sommer. I think that Sommer as an advanced critical thinker was able to use the raw information presented in the earlier version of the book and simplify it for the benefit of lay readers. He also makes practical the modern, application of these concepts as they were developed in 1960.

 

8.  Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

 

A.  How interesting was it to read?  7

B.  How helpful were the contents?  8

C.  How easy was it to understand?    7

D.  Would you recommend it to others?                    8

E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?       8

Success Through Positive Mental Attitude

Assessment By:  Dennis Korbla Amego Penu

 

1.  What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

 

The book builds its principles and potency on the development of a positive mental attitude (PMA): the desire to succeed and the belief in the possibility of achievement; despite the setback and negative breaks in life. The author, himself a student of life and its experiences, presents varied life situations that portray PMA at work with the aim of inspiring readers who would want to take the same path. Hence the book succeeds in building its lessons from true and prominent life experiences given the reader proof of such principles of success. The underlying principle is that “You can succeed if you have the positivity of mind to do so”.

 

2.  What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List

these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

 

As the book is presented in different chapters of various lessons, I will present my views in perspective of the chapters presented:

 

Chapter1: Everything worth having is worth working for

 

“If you know what you want, you are more apt to identify it when you see it”

The entirety of life is based on cause and effect. It is run on efforts and results. When I was growing up, as a kid, I initially imagined a future career in the pure health sciences. But then as I grew up, I began to unveil the humanity aspect of me and my affinity for the social sciences. I thought to myself, it will be a bad idea to throw all that I had worked for in the pure sciences. However to realise my other potentials in the social sciences, I had to put in extra efforts to bridge the gap: read more books, attend more forums and conferences and write more. This was of course a difficult combination. But then I was determined to make it happen and I had to spend extra hours off my regular school books and itinerary to engage in such endeavours. Now I am as proficient in the social sciences as I am in the health sciences and these came undoubtedly with significant sacrifices.

 

Chapter 2: If the man is right, his world will be right

 

It is true that sometimes our perceptions have taken a great toll on our efforts and expectations. Sometimes I have been unnecessarily worried about things without justifiable cause. When I finished high school, I was very anxious about the possibility of not getting to the university and then after university; the fear of a vacuum of inactivity and unemployment. I sought personally to find tangible reasons for this but then I find out I have none.  Most anxieties and fears have their foundation on ‘sinking sand’ and this is exactly what the chapter 3 of the book talks about: ‘thinking freely’: remove the cobwebs from your thoughts.

 

Chapter 4: You are a mind with a body

This section brings out the superiority of the mind. It emphasizes the control that the mind has on the body just as a small bit has on a huge horse or a rudder on a ship. One time in my life I had to visit the hospital because of ill-feeling. I did not see the doctor but got some first aid from the nurse. The next day I felt normal. As a student of the medical sciences, I knew that the drug could not completely have given me such a relief…for it was meant as first aid. But I had been convinced even before I went to the hospital that if I got hospital attention I was going to get well……. and of course I got well. I had suggested a sure recovery for myself and it had worked. My conviction had aided in healing me. This is the explanation for the works of faith. We only need to get something to found it on and it works.

 

Chapter 5: And there could be something more

And of course there’s always something more. Perfection is infinite just as ideas are infinite. There can never be a peak. In fact I think that ideas occur in a cyclic form rather than as being reached as an apex of a mountain. There can never be an idea so complex or basic. They are as important as the effect or impact they have. My interpretation of the phrase ‘something more’ is that, in the journey towards self-actualisation and fulfilment, there is never a full point or perfection.

 

Chapter 7: Learn to See……

And I continue this saying with …..follow through with action. It is inconclusive and for me worthless to see an opportunity without action and expect to benefit from it. Most of the examples used in this chapter talk about the actions the people took after noticing the opportunities they benefitted form. Opportunities are meant to be exploited, and they beg to be. We are likely to see only by asking questions, questions about challenges, about bizarre and baffling circumstances.

 

Chapter 8: You are what your habit makes you

And if one is in the habit of getting things done, the person becomes a successful person. That is very well explained, and I feel very guilty of procrastination. I seem always to think that I have enough time to make up for time lost or to meet deadlines. I seem capable of recuing myself in dying moments. But then, there are times when I have wished it was different. I get things done, but after some procrastination. My understanding now is, I could do more, with less procrastination. I could run further, I could write more, read more and achieve more with less procrastination.

 

Chapter 9: Motivation is the Key

Every person or organisation needs a goal. This goal stems from motivation. I have come to reason that there’s always a motivation for an action. So what is needed to do is to put the right motivation before me and work towards it. The energy in work, in school, in a relationship and this comes from the desire: the motivation.

 

3.  How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

 

For me the concept of PMA is more of a conscious one than unconscious. The practicality of the presentation made by Napoleon Hill makes these principles very ‘real’

 

For me the 17 principles of Success capture in a whole the kind of ingredients I will need in my work as a youth developer and leadership trainer. I especially like the aspects that address, Personal Initiative, creative thinking and teamwork. I think that for effective work with people and getting the best out of them these three ingredients are essential.

 

As my work requires the creation of platforms through which youth can dialogue about issues concerning them, it becomes important to liaise with people in making this possible. Sometimes I come in contact with people who have different perspectives and ideas about a common objective and accommodation becomes important. Sometimes I meet people who need an urge to move them into taking action; they need a motivation and they need to rest their brains in finding clues. This is the point that this book comes in handy.

I particularly take inspiration from the lives of people and I have sometimes succeeded in enacting steps of success that I have witnessed. This book creates a launch pad of very good examples that I can emulate.

 

After noticing my shortfalls with procrastination, I think that this book will help me in overcoming that obstacle to be able to achieve higher heights and bigger feats.

 

4.  Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

 

“The more you share the more you will have”:

Of course, the universal scientific rule: “action and reaction are equal….” In school, I derived the benefit of understanding academic concepts more as I try to explain them to colleagues.

 

“…………..and something more”:

I particularly like this phrase because I understand through this book that perfection of ideas and of achievement are infinite. There’s always something more.

 

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are

there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

 

“Sitting for ideas”

 

There is this conflict of understanding that I have concerning the perfect time at which ideas can occur to you. In my earlier reading of the book “psycho cybernetic” I reasoned with the concept of ideas springing up in times of relaxation and in the times of unconscious mediation. That, ideas normally do not blossom in times of strained thinking but flow freely in times when focus is off the subject.

 

However, in the book success through PMA, sitting for ideas seems to me to be a conscious way through which ideas can be cultivated. I am interpreting these two different approaches as the authors own experiences put to bare in their writing. However, counting on my personal experience, I think that ideas normally spring up during the times of relaxed mental activity. In some way I think this is related to the idea of “sitting for ideas” because this posture is normally done in an environment of limited objects and distractions. To some extent therefore there is a common ground: ideas are best cultivated in times of limited mental activity/crowding. The further step that Success through PMA takes is recommending that there’s the effort to write these ideas before they evaporate.

 

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

 

I was particularly happy about the summary content that was provided at the end of each chapter. It makes it easier for me to be able to go over concepts that I want to pay particular attention to. In these portions the book mentions some questions that I had to read to myself.

 

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

 

I am very happy that divine guidance was extensively mentioned throughout the book. I believe that divinity is not doctrine it is the feeling of external help that comes out of faith and conviction.

 

8. Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

 

A.   How interesting was it to read?  9

B.   How helpful were the contents?   8

C.   How easy was it to understand?    9

D.   Would you recommend it to others?    8

E.    What is the overall rating you would give it?     9 

How To Win Friends & Influence People

Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

 

The main idea was born out of the identification of the need for effective public relations skills among the people that the author met. It therefore addresses human relations, as one of the single most important ingredients for successful life in business, as well as social co-habitation. The idea therefore is to bring out the individual as the person responsible for the changes and the successes they create through their dealings with others. To this effect therefore, the book pushes forward the argument that if the individual is successful in understanding people, in dealing with them right and understanding their perspectives, he/she is bound to succeed in life.

 

2.  What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

 

PART 1: Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want

Truly there’s nothing more effective than getting your workers or colleagues follow a path that they very much appreciate and want. I think that this is the reason why it is so important to get to know the aspirations of your colleagues or staff so as to weave an organisational strategy to fit into the individual/collective aspirations. Sometimes this will mean breaking down the overall goal into simpler ones that can target the individual aspirations.

 

PART 2: Principle 2: Smile

Recently on a social media, I have had so many comments about a picture I posted on my profile. I have had many compliments about the uniqueness and charm of the picture I had posted. In fact it has been one of the posts that have attracted the most comments and debates. Now you may think that this picture might have been taken in a very expensive setting; no. It was as usual as any other picture I had posted, the unique difference here is that this one was radiating with a big smile and this for very interesting reasons kept people paying attention to it and to some extent, moving them to ask a question or two about the picture. Since then, I have come to better understand why it is considered important for advertisement makers to show smiling personalities on their product packages.

 

PART 2: Principle 4:  Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves

I like to talk about my achievements; so I think the other person would also want to say a thing or two about them no matter how simple or meagre they might be. Now this follows the principle of doing unto others what you’ll wish they did to you, and it is true. I think that people talk about things they believe in, things they feel proud about and things they long to do. So they get fulfilled to get someone to hear them. In some way this principle is closely related to the 5th principle that focuses on talking in terms of the other’s interest. I find this very valuable, because for me, I have been able to deduce important ideas and strategies for my work and leadership as a result of listening to people speak. I interpret a talkative as a bully; in the past I had this tendency to bully but this book and others I have read in this IIGL series is helping me be overcome that urge.

 

PART 3: Principle 1: the best way to win an argument is to avoid it

(A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still)

I will like to focus on the one in parentheses because I totally agree with that particular portion of that principle on argument. Even though I don’t agree that arguments should be avoided outright (and I will explain in the appropriate session) I however agree that a person who is not fully convinced that his/her idea is faulty or weak and should be substituted for another, even though may agree to work with the new,, will not show full commitment and may not make the sacrifices that are needed to make that plan work. For example, in a tight scheduled planning meeting I had with some volunteer staff of my NGO, I was ‘successful’ in ‘cowing’ them to accept my idea because I had no time to explain the details. Even though the implementation process started I was forced to re-convene a meeting to explain why the plan I had suggested was ideal. This was because it was getting frustrating to see that the attitude towards the plan had turned lackadaisical. After this the magic worked and the event was successful.

 

PART 3: Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

In my experience with working with people, I have come to understand that if one fails to do this they set up a snare for themselves; after all the other parties know that as human you are fallible. Hence admitting mistakes will not be a sign of weakness but a sign of sincerity. I think that once the impression is created that I cannot be wrong, it becomes difficult for me to face the consequences when my ideas or plans obviously fail to achieve the needed goal. That will become a more difficult terrain to operate than to have accepted fault and sought for better ideas in order to avoid loneliness in the event of a defeat

 

PART 3: Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas

My NGO deals in education-oriented programs that seek to involve students in the simulation of international conferences. Now this endeavour involves a lot of training and practice. Because of this, trying to get the parents and teachers of the students in understanding the concept is very important. However, talking about this technical process is sometimes difficult to create the picture we want them to have. So it became important that we prepared a video documentary on our activities. Today we do not have to talk at length to get our message across. Sometimes there is no need for even a contact with the target before we could get our message vividly across.

 

PART 4: Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation

There is nothing more demoralising than making a person feel totally useless. I have had so many discussions with friends who work with bosses they are growing tired about. They tell me that at times when they made mistakes there is a fuss over it meanwhile there is little or subtle commendation when they do the right things; of course these instances even outweigh the bad times. To this effect, they feel like doing nothing to know that they truly deserve that treatment. Truly they are being killed softly, being embittered and until it is reversed, they could soon explode.

 

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

 

This book makes prominent my role in creating success through interpersonal relations. I think that my meetings with people easily bring out the faults and strengths that I have in my dealings with other people. I find the principle of inspired co-habitation and effective network very useful in the sense that it is likely to enhance my interaction with the people I meet.  As I have already exemplified in my earlier writing most of these principles have in some ways been manifested in my life experiences and easily fall on the ideologies I have formed about work and relationships with people.

 

I find some of these concepts new; such as ‘do not criticize or punish’ and ‘avoid arguments’. But I think that exploring these and trying to practice them may help me deduce or devise new or hybrid concepts that will be helpful to my relations with people.

The principles in this book are helpful as I have enumerated above because I work with people who have volunteered their time and therefore need a lot of motivation and a sense of belonging and a feeling of importance within the organisational framework.

 

With respect with dealing with faults and divergent views, I sometimes come in contact with people who have different perspectives and ideas about a common objective and accommodation becomes important. Sometimes I meet people who need an urge to move them into taking action; they need a motivation.

 

4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

 

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language”

 

Well for me, this 3rd principle in Part 2 of the book is catchy. After reading this statement I paused, mentioned my name and waited for my reaction; I smiled. I do not know whether that’s what the author wishes to demonstrate but obviously names are important, mine is, and I love to hear it. It creates a bond; otherwise a stranger wouldn’t be amazed that you mentioned their name when they haven’t told you and of course this could even start a conversation. My recommended exercise to whoever may doubt this is: respond to your name in a public area only to realise that you were not the one being referred to, and you’ll give testimony of the disappointment you feel. Try it.

 

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

 

Yes. There are two main issues I take exceptions with

First, the principle of “Do not criticize, condemn or complain”

Despite the illustration given by the author, I think that this principle is not universal and therefore its application is circumstantial as portrayed in the book. Criticism and complains are the oils with which ideas are sharpened. Condemnation is sometimes necessary to establish fault and register disapproval. In all of these for me, it is the degree of its application that makes the moment.

 

Secondly, the author seemed to look at argument as a sharp, bad blooded confrontation between people. But I think even with the modest temperament he suggests for driving home a point is a phase of an argument. Maybe in clarifying the point for my own use, I think I will restate it to mean that “to win a hot-blooded argument is to avoid it. Yes. And this is very true as Dale explains it in his book.

 

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

 

The book had no chapter-specific exercises. However, I find the 9 recommendations it enumerates to get the best out of the book useful. Committing time to reading and pondering over the explanations given and the scenarios shown. At most points in the book, I related them to my work and life and this is what helped me in writing this assessment. I have found them useful and worth considering.

 

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

 

No. I have covered all of such issues in the earlier part of this assessment.

 

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

 

A.  How interesting was it to read?                            10

B.  How helpful were the contents?                           9

C.  How easy was it to understand?                           9

D.  Would you recommend it to others?                    10

E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?       10

The New Dynamics of Winning

Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

1.  What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

 

The author tries to draw a correlation between the spirit, attitude and psyche of the sportsman with that of the ordinary person. It underlines the fact that the winning mentality is the utmost attribute of the sportsman or sportswoman and the attitude that translates a sport personality into a celebrity can be inculcated into the life of every person in any sphere of life for the purpose of excellence and goal achievement. In simple terms the factors that make the sports person a winner can also equally create a winner in the life of every other person.

 

2.  What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

 

a.  Desire + Action= Motivation

In Secondary School, I participated in a Model United Nations conference and I liked the experienced. Right after secondary school, I volunteered to work for the NGO that organized the event. At the time, I had very little experience in public speaking, negotiation and international relations. However, the program offered me the opportunity to develop all these potentials and I had the desire to have more of that experience but I was soon leaving high school. So I took the decision that, I would have to volunteer my time so I could still be part of the program; and so I did. Since 2005 I took the action to be a volunteer staff of Life-Link Ghana, today I am the Director of Programs for the organisation. Though I am still a volunteer, I am now very much at the core of what I saw as remote 6 years ago and I am motivated to do more. So whatever the motivation, the first step is paramount and the rest will fall in place.

 

b.  For Love, Not for money

I am a strong advocate for this ideology because it has taken me places and has won me many friends. In Ghana today it has become very difficult to get employed, gain experience and develop your own potentials with hands on practice at the things you enjoy most, yet one of the main ingredients missing in the life of the average young person in Ghana is volunteerism. This is because of them are occupied with making money in the shortest possible time and would not do anything out of their love or commitment for it. Because of this development of their potentials has become a problem. When I volunteered for my NGO in 2005, I paid little attention to the financial gains I could get. In fact, it almost was not part of the desire. It was my love for the Model UN program and the aim of making the experience available to as many Ghanaian youth as possible that spurred me on. Today, the experience I accrued as a result of my endeavours with Life-Link Ghana has helped me win the opportunity for travels to Switzerland, the USA and Japan on fully funded invitations to participate in youth development programs organised by recognised institutions. I would have been unable to fund on my own these trips, but my love for championing youth development initiatives gave me the opportunity for more international encounters which I believe will further push me into a bright future and to help me realise my aim for world youth.

 

c.  The mind is what matters

Yes. It is, because it holds the key to interpretation. Failure and success has its interpretation from the brain. So does possibility and impossibility. If one is determined to interpret every feat as success, there is no failure and vice-versa. Determination starts from the mind and because distraction can easily break the winning mentality, the mind becomes a potent force to work against any such distractions. The author has exemplified in many cases in the book how a race can be won with a positive mind. If others have won with a positive mind why can’t we? I know a man who after so many years of supporting those in need now sees himself as a failure because he is no longer financially strong to keep up that virtue as he would want. He will not accept that he has done his due in his own time and he continues to fight against the guilty conviction his mind has set upon him.

 

d.  Self-worth and self trust

Since the basis has been established that defeat and success have their foundations on the mind, it also expands to include that, the person bearing the mind is the one responsible for the outcome. In explaining this, it is clear that when a person has rejected his personality and the fact that he/she is capable of winning it is difficult to have winning ways falling to that person. If there is no interest in yourself, then there is the low like likelihood that you will expect to see yourself as a winner. At interview panels, I have listened to volunteers to want to work with my NGO and when they begin to create the impression that they are only seeking to improve themselves I see them as opportunistic people; except when they also claim some level of experience that they will be bringing on board.

 

e.      …..few critics and more role models.

In Abraham Lincoln’s view, when you criticize, you give the person a defensive stance. In this defensive stance I do not think that there is any plan to move forward. It rather stalls progress and there is no room for rebirth of ideas. Yes. So instead of criticising, it is better to find a way of motivating the desired action, and that’s when setting an example becomes laudable. In setting the example, you will be leaving room for no excuses and there will be standards set to be followed. Many times at Life-Link Model UN conferences, I have had it easy getting our volunteer staff to do something when I myself have taken the first step; and when I have never played a particular role, it becomes a very big challenge to coach someone into that role. So experience is supposed to be modelled but and this will create a continuum of high performance.

 

f.  It begins with a dream

 

Of Course it does. Like the artist, painting is always preceded by an initial image in mind whether vivid or blur. The most important is the objective the target, the goal. Organisations have visions and missions which they religiously stick to. After reading this book, I am beginning to measure personalities and firms by the kind of visions they have. And I am sure that all the big firms and businesses in the world today started with these subtle but strong imagery convictions. I have always shared with my friends my belief that only those who dream to write history and ever made it are honoured by history. History favours those who contribute to making it just as “the universe favours the virtuous”.

 

g. Network with winners in the field you are pursuing

In this global world, it is difficult to live in isolation especially when you want to make an impact that is great and covers a wider area. Opportunities are many but not all eyes see them. Therefore the network is what is needed to ensure that the eyes are opened at all times. In 2010, I had the opportunity to travel to Japan for a Youth Peace event because of a friend I met who also had interest in youth leadership. At the time, he wasn’t eligible for a program his organisation was hosting in Osaka, and he was generous enough to recommend the event to me. And to think we had only met for a short time, the network and friendship we had created was enough to move him to through me the dice. I know that, many years from now, I will be where I will be because of the people I met where I am now.

 

3.  How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

 

The work of a volunteer, an endeavour I have been involved with since 2005 demands a lot of resilience and determination; the determination of a sprinter and the aim of an archer. The effective exemplifications of real life experiences used in the book add some extra motivation in its impact towards action.  The book draws my attention to the power inherent in my thoughts and how to harness it. It motivates me to continue to nurture my ambitions and makes me realise the obligation of taking control of my thoughts if I aim at being a good leader. Even though this book does not address leadership specifically, it uses the effective coaching techniques in a right way that finely fits into the attitude of a leader in society or in a youth based organisation such as mine.  The world is becoming increasingly complex and the complication demands an elevation of thought and determination in order to survive. This lessons I have learnt from this book are particularly suitable for the development of good thinking by youth in areas where there are serious societal limitations. It is simple and practical enough, especially with the end of chapter activities. These activities were able to challenge me to try my efforts at achieving the goals that had been set in there. It was very valuable.

 

4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

 

“Use praise frequently and sincerely”:

Nothing is sweeter than praise to the ears. Sometimes I think that citations even have greater effects than limousines.

 

“The coachability factor”:

This is the first time I have encountered this word. It never occurs to me that there are people who are not coachable, and yes, the book explains it well. I think that the ‘coachability’ factor as much as is relevant to the one being coached is also a good note for the one coaching, the leader, in order to know whether some human development efforts are worth pursuing in their team.

 

“No negative simulations”;

And I say dwell more on the positives than the negatives. Especially when the negative is something you can do little about.

 

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

 

“Don’t be afraid to share your concerns with others”

 

I agree that it is very difficult to find someone who has no fears and that it is normal to admit such fears. However, my main concern is the people with whom these fears are shared. The book does not state which people they are supposed to be shared with either and this is where I intend to expand my own principles and convictions. I think that a leader should share a concern when the concern has to do with the task at hand but when that confession does not have a bearing on the confidence of the team. For instance, it is bad to tell a team that you fear they are to slow to outrun their opponents when you already know that your team also harbour the same fears. However, you could share the fear of bad refereeing which could cause the team the win. I think that such fears will rather urge the team to put in their best to avoid any mishaps because of bad refereeing.

 

Secondly, a leader should share his/her fears when the team is sensitive to it, can respect the leader/coach for being human and can use that as their launch pad to victory. I have seen instances where team members have disrespected or looked down on their leaders because of their weakness. In such a case it will be a bad omen for the leader to lay bare his fears. In the spirit of maintaining authority and respect, leaders have had to shield their own weaknesses in other not to break the chain of respect in the team.

 

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

 

The book contained end of book exercises. These exercises were divided across a twenty-one day period with activities for each day. I struggled with some of the exercises when in some instances I was unable to achieve some of the goals. I have gone through the twenty-one day period and now I am preparing to revise the process so I could hit some targets I could not achieve.

 

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

 

None.

 

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

 

A.  How interesting was it to read?                            6

B.  How helpful were the contents?                           7

C.  How easy was it to understand?                           6

D.  Would you recommend it to others?                   7

E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?       6

How To Win Friends and Influence People

Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

1.  What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

 

The main idea was born out of the identification of the need for effective public relations skills among the people that the author met. It therefore addresses human relations, as one of the single most important ingredients for successful life in business, as well as social co-habitation. The idea therefore is to bring out the individual as the person responsible for the changes and the successes they create through their dealings with others. To this effect therefore, the book pushes forward the argument that if the individual is successful in understanding people, in dealing with them right and understanding their perspectives, he/she is bound to succeed in life.

 

2.  What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

PART 1: Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want

Truly there’s nothing more effective than getting your workers or colleagues follow a path that they very much appreciate and want. I think that this is the reason why it is so important to get to know the aspirations of your colleagues or staff so as to weave an organisational strategy to fit into the individual/collective aspirations. Sometimes this will mean breaking down the overall goal into simpler ones that can target the individual aspirations.

 

PART 2: Principle 2: Smile

Recently on a social media, I have had so many comments about a picture I posted on my profile. I have had many compliments about the uniqueness and charm of the picture I had posted. In fact it has been one of the posts that have attracted the most comments and debates. Now you may think that this picture might have been taken in a very expensive setting; no. It was as usual as any other picture I had posted, the unique difference here is that this one was radiating with a big smile and this for very interesting reasons kept people paying attention to it and to some extent, moving them to ask a question or two about the picture. Since then, I have come to better understand why it is considered important for advertisement makers to show smiling personalities on their product packages.

 

PART 2: Principle 4:  Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves

I like to talk about my achievements; so I think the other person would also want to say a thing or two about them no matter how simple or meagre they might be. Now this follows the principle of doing unto others what you’ll wish they did to you, and it is true. I think that people talk about things they believe in, things they feel proud about and things they long to do. So they get fulfilled to get someone to hear them. In some way this principle is closely related to the 5th principle that focuses on talking in terms of the other’s interest. I find this very valuable, because for me, I have been able to deduce important ideas and strategies for my work and leadership as a result of listening to people speak. I interpret a talkative as a bully; in the past I had this tendency to bully but this book and others I have read in this IIGL series is helping me be overcome that urge.

 

PART 3: Principle 1: the best way to win an argument is to avoid it

(A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still)

I will like to focus on the one in parentheses because I totally agree with that particular portion of that principle on argument. Even though I don’t agree that arguments should be avoided outright (and I will explain in the appropriate session) I however agree that a person who is not fully convinced that his/her idea is faulty or weak and should be substituted for another, even though may agree to work with the new,, will not show full commitment and may not make the sacrifices that are needed to make that plan work. For example, in a tight scheduled planning meeting I had with some volunteer staff of my NGO, I was ‘successful’ in ‘cowing’ them to accept my idea because I had no time to explain the details. Even though the implementation process started I was forced to re-convene a meeting to explain why the plan I had suggested was ideal. This was because it was getting frustrating to see that the attitude towards the plan had turned lackadaisical. After this the magic worked and the event was successful.

 

PART 3: Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

In my experience with working with people, I have come to understand that if one fails to do this they set up a snare for themselves; after all the other parties know that as human you are fallible. Hence admitting mistakes will not be a sign of weakness but a sign of sincerity. I think that once the impression is created that I cannot be wrong, it becomes difficult for me to face the consequences when my ideas or plans obviously fail to achieve the needed goal. That will become a more difficult terrain to operate than to have accepted fault and sought for better ideas in order to avoid loneliness in the event of a defeat

 

PART 3: Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas

My NGO deals in education-oriented programs that seek to involve students in the simulation of international conferences. Now this endeavour involves a lot of training and practice. Because of this, trying to get the parents and teachers of the students in understanding the concept is very important. However, talking about this technical process is sometimes difficult to create the picture we want them to have. So it became important that we prepared a video documentary on our activities. Today we do not have to talk at length to get our message across. Sometimes there is no need for even a contact with the target before we could get our message vividly across.

 

PART 4: Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation

There is nothing more demoralising than making a person feel totally useless. I have had so many discussions with friends who work with bosses they are growing tired about. They tell me that at times when they made mistakes there is a fuss over it meanwhile there is little or subtle commendation when they do the right things; of course these instances even outweigh the bad times. To this effect, they feel like doing nothing to know that they truly deserve that treatment. Truly they are being killed softly, being embittered and until it is reversed, they could soon explode.

 

3.  How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

 

This book makes prominent my role in creating success through interpersonal relations. I think that my meetings with people easily bring out the faults and strengths that I have in my dealings with other people. I find the principle of inspired co-habitation and effective network very useful in the sense that it is likely to enhance my interaction with the people I meet.  As I have already exemplified in my earlier writing most of these principles have in some ways been manifested in my life experiences and easily fall on the ideologies I have formed about work and relationships with people.

 

I find some of these concepts new; such as ‘do not criticize or punish’ and ‘avoid arguments’. But I think that exploring these and trying to practice them may help me deduce or devise new or hybrid concepts that will be helpful to my relations with people.

 

The principles in this book are helpful as I have enumerated above because I work with people who have volunteered their time and therefore need a lot of motivation and a sense of belonging and a feeling of importance within the organisational framework.

 

With respect with dealing with faults and divergent views, I sometimes come in contact with people who have different perspectives and ideas about a common objective and accommodation becomes important. Sometimes I meet people who need an urge to move them into taking action; they need a motivation.

 

4.  Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

 

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language”

 

Well for me, this 3rd principle in Part 2 of the book is catchy. After reading this statement I paused, mentioned my name and waited for my reaction; I smiled. I do not know whether that’s what the author wishes to demonstrate but obviously names are important, mine is, and I love to hear it. It creates a bond; otherwise a stranger wouldn’t be amazed that you mentioned their name when they haven’t told you and of course this could even start a conversation. My recommended exercise to whoever may doubt this is: respond to your name in a public area only to realise that you were not the one being referred to, and you’ll give testimony of the disappointment you feel. Try it.

 

5.  Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

 

Yes. There are two main issues I take exceptions with  First, the principle of “Do not criticize, condemn or complain”  Despite the illustration given by the author, I think that this principle is not universal and therefore its application is circumstantial as portrayed in the book. Criticism and complains are the oils with which ideas are sharpened. Condemnation is sometimes necessary to establish fault and register disapproval. In all of these for me, it is the degree of its application that makes the moment.

 

Secondly, the author seemed to look at argument as a sharp, bad blooded confrontation between people. But I think even with the modest temperament he suggests for driving home a point is a phase of an argument. Maybe in clarifying the point for my own use, I think I will restate it to mean that “to win a hot-blooded argument is to avoid it. Yes. And this is very true as Dale explains it in his book.

 

6.  Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

 

The book had no chapter-specific exercises. However, I find the 9 recommendations it enumerates to get the best out of the book useful. Committing time to reading and pondering over the explanations given and the scenarios shown. At most points in the book, I related them to my work and life and this is what helped me in writing this assessment. I have found them useful and worth considering.

 

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

 

No.  I have covered all of such issues in the earlier part of this assessment.

 

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

 

A.  How interesting was it to read?                            10

B.  How helpful were the contents?                           9

C.  How easy was it to understand?                           9

D.  Would you recommend it to others?                   10

E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?       10

Real Magic

Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

 

This book tackles the spirituality of man and tries to create a consciousness of the invisible being. It explains the concept of man as a minute entity of the entire universe just as a cell is a minute entity of the whole body. It also explains the connection between man and his environment which supports the phenomenon that every action that the human being takes, the thoughts that are perceived or the feelings that are felt or expressed are all emanating from the invisible soul factory of the human being.

 

To this effect the book explains that inner experiences are the authors of physical manifestation and this is the tool that the author of the book explains can be used to conjure magic in life (the desired physical manifestations)

 

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

 

a. The only true reality is thought

I strongly agree with this point. Because for me, the mind is the interpreter of everything: you accept what your mind tells you is good and you reject what it perceives is bad.  I once had the adage “Dream it and you’ll live it”.  But I think this one makes it more practical because I think imagination will eventually breed consciousness. Look around you, locally and beyond, there are a lot of differences: in action and in beliefs. Why? Because there are comparable differences in thoughts and these thoughts are the standards by which rights and wrongs, good or bad, possible or impossible are defined.

 

b. The ancestor to every action is thought

“Dream it and you’ll live it”: this is an adage I have upheld which I think falls in line with this principle.  In faking an action you get the framework for living it. Ideas fall into the same category, businesses and projects excel because of very good ideas and these ideas are a string of thoughts. As a person who likes working on projects, thoughts are the first step to accomplishments. In the same vein, presence or absence of thoughts is also the precursors of ‘Inaction’

For instance, sometime early last year, I had the task of leading the organisation of a conference; something I had always done as a member of a group until then. I was now to lead. My thoughts before then were that I was incapable of leading such initiatives. When I changed my thoughts, I was able to lead a well organized conference to my own amazement.

 

c. “Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip”.

It is funny saying, but for me it bears a lot of weight. Integrity, principles and reputation are very important. They are the ingredients that define a personality and someday when the person is dead and gone these are the foundations of a tribute.  A clear conscience is the prelude to peace. Anytime I do something I am ashamed of, I feel that there is a heavy burden on me. This guilty feeling is a strong force that is able to disrupt a day or two for me: especially when my action is incongruent with my principles and reputation.

 

d. Talent: a quality defined through comparison

This book has succeeded in waiving my undue rating of talented people. When I work with people I am now careful to discriminate between people just because of a comparable advantage that people have over others. Talent, truly, is defined by comparison.

 

e. Pursue avenues of happiness

Since Senior High School I have come to appreciate the social sciences and the humanities. Even though I had gone on to study the pure sciences and the health sciences in the University, I still find myself doing things that point at my desire and aim to become a development expert and an international diplomat. I have the easy urge to take on roles that predispose me to these ends and that continue to unravel daily, my liking and affinity for the humanities.

 

f. When the student is ready the teacher will appear:

Lessons appear in life all the time. What is needed is the eye to see them, the mind to perceive them and the ability to notice them. Learning is a continuous process and my life has availed me with every opportunity to make amends or notice mistakes and correct them. No matter the limitation, determination is what makes a person educated. As a student schooled in the health sciences, I have accrued much knowledge in the social sciences not because I took formal lessons, but because I took every experience I had in that field to learn as much as possible in the art of leadership development and international relations.

 

g. The world is a direct reflection of individual minds.

On the premise that nothing comes about without thought and that every action’s predecessor is an idea, it is correct to infer then that whatever we see manifested in our lives or in society has its precursor in the mind. If people decide to love because they think of love, then we will see love around us. When people hate, it’s because they think about hate and reasons for it. Development, regression and promotion of human rights and happiness are promoted by people, and these people do it because they have thought about it.

 

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

 

I particularly like the explanation that our world is a manifestation of the things people think about. Truly, this will help me in changing my thinking. Because, obviously if collective thoughts can make a society, then an individual thought can create a person and their individual environment. It will also help me in creating a crop of volunteers for our organisation that will have a progressive thinking or mindset. If workers of an organisation have unified progressive mentality, then this is likely to foster a lot of progression for the organisation.

 

4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

 

“When the student is ready the teacher will appear”

Lessons appear in life all the time. What is needed is the eye to see them, the mind to perceive them and the ability to notice them. Learning is a continuous process and my life has availed me with every opportunity to make amends or notice mistakes and correct them. No matter the limitation, determination is what makes a person educated. As a student schooled in the health sciences, I have accrued much knowledge in the social sciences not because I took formal lessons, but because I took every experience I had in that field to learn as much as possible in the art of leadership development and international relations.

 

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

 

The author trivializes Aging and makes aging a result of attitude. However, I think that aging is a reality and despite a person’s attitude to living on this earth, aging is inevitable and will weaken a person whether they like it or not. The author’s own explanation that the body wears out because cells wear out should support the issue of aging. And despite the attitude of a person, this aging process (or dying process) will occur. Aging is a reality and it must be treated as such. If the book defines the body as a tent for the soul, then this tent will soon get damaged and this is through the reality of aging.

 

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

 

There were no real structured exercises, however the book contained very helpful summaries of the issues discussed in the various chapters and this made retention of concepts a lot easier.

 

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

None

 

Ratings

A. How interesting was it to read?                             8

B. How helpful were the contents?                            7

C. How easy was it to understand?                            7

D.  Would you recommend it to others?                    8

E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?       8

Giant Steps

Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

1.  What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

 

The book addresses different issues in a calendar format giving particular emphasis to virtues and lessons with varied themes as the author saw fit. It moved from positive thinking to how to change attitude for positive results. As the book rightly put it, this lessons were focussing on the small changes that were needed in life to make the big differences; the giant steps.

 

2.  What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

 

a.  Decisions and goal setting. In the past week, I have led the organisation of a model United Nations conference that was very successful according to the goals I set for myself and the team. The main aim was not the number of participants but the quality of the conference we were to host and to make it as memorable as possible to all those who will be confident enough in my organisation to attend. That was the main goal; and it worked. The book touches on an important component of the genesis of the whole project: “realizing the power of a single decision acted upon immediately and with utter conviction”. This was how our successful project started. I had attended training at the United Nations on improving model united nations conferences and I had set a goal for myself to introduce the best practices into our conferences. I took the first step of setting up the team of 5 in January, it grew in bits and we ended it successfully with 170 people in June

 

b.  If we want the deepest fulfilment, we can achieve it only one way; by deciding what we desire most in life. Today I have managed to stay in the job of interacting with people and imparted knowledge and sharing experiences despite my original career studies to work in the medical laboratory. Since 2007 when I was in the second year in the university I realised that my passion and fulfilment was in sharing and interacting with people; but I had already got enrolled as a Biomedical Science student in the university, on the path to becoming a laboratory scientist and working with body fluids of patients with the aim of diagnosing diseases. So after my studies, I decided to support the teaching staff and talk to students about health rather than practice in the laboratory and I feel very comfortable doing that and sharing my experiences and knowledge with people. This is the same trade I have in my youth organisation and this makes me perform and enjoy what I do.

 

c.  It is the mind that makes good of ill, wretch of happy, rich of poor.  Everything comes down to the mind. We have different cultures and religions which all seem the right way and meaningful pattern to those who practice them. This is because the mind is ok with it. The conscience of man is the main basis of judgement and whatever your mind tells you is right becomes right. Differences in people and their perception are because the minds have different perceptions and conceive the same things in different ways. Sometimes people make the mistake of thinking that their way of seeing things is the right way, but in actual fact it is the way they see things; and not the standard. That is why, to one person, something is an obstacle and another person sees that as an opportunity. At the time when I was starting the dream of our Tertiary Conference in Ghana; some staff were not convinced of its feasibility, mainly because of the hindrances they perceived. Today; it’s a reality despite those challenges.

 

d.  Words have the power to make or break (start a war or make peace). Many of the wars that have stricken societies have been generated by words. In the same way, wars are resolved not by machines or guns, but by dialogue. A kind word turns away anger and a gentle word turns away wrath (that’s what the Bible says).

 

e.  We can get things accomplished if we change our attitude and go the extra mile. There are times when I have felt that the energy in me to continue was exhausted. Times when I wondered whether it was worth all the struggle and toil. But I have realized that no one understands the vision better than the vision bearer. So at many times, it is the vision bearer who is first to go the extra mile of making the vision known. After this, it is another hurdle to take responsibility to motivate yourself and the team when the going gets tough. Especially in the volunteer organisation where many persons do not necessarily get financial benefit for what they do, it is mostly the zeal and sacrifice they see from the leader or vision bearer that is supposed to sustain them and keep them going. The vision bearer must first not show exhaustion and must not despair; otherwise there is the risk of affecting everyone with the ‘disease’ which is likely to kill the vision.

 

f.  Goals are the driving force to achievement. Just like organisations have visions and missions which they religiously stick to, individuals should on daily basis set attainable goals for themselves and aim at achieving them. After reading this book, I am beginning to measure people’s achievement by their ability to set realistic but significant goals for themselves and achieving them. It could be by the minute, by the hour, by the day, week or month. What is important is the right evaluation and the correction of mistakes all towards achieving the goal.

 

g.  Achieving in bits brings great  success. A little achieved in a short while, with another and another will eventually end in a big achievement. I remember that our organisation started out with the objective of coming out with a show on TV that was to advertise our conferences and activities at the same time giving students in Ghana the exposure of multilateral deliberations. It was a big idea and a huge task to begin with, but we started with achieving bits at a time and then we eventually had the show running after 12 months of preparations. What we did was to get one shot at a time whilst we looked out for the opportunity to continue from where we left off.

 

3.  How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

 

This book is very good in the way it presents the ideas in a daily manner and sets the mind thinking of one lesson at a time. Achieving in life is a lasting process that has many steps and challenges. The most important concept for me in this book is to hold fast to my values and that is what will bring me satisfaction at the end. As an African and a youth with unique characteristics and make-up, I can only see achievement when I have been able to use my own ideals, desires and dreams to set my standards and abide by them My big ambition of becoming a health development expert stems from the fact that I wish to see changes in the paradigm of our health sector in Ghana. The book draws my attention to the power inherent in my thoughts and how to harness it. It motivates me to continue to nurture my ambitions in tandem with my values and use my values as the standard for development. These lessons have rejuvenated my resolve to develop my potentials and help change my perception about life and success. The world is becoming increasingly complex and the complication demands an elevation of thought in order to survive. This lessons I have learnt from this book are particularly suitable for the development of good thinking fit into daily tablets of self improvement and development.

 

4.  Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

 

“Words have the power to make or break”

As a person who communicates and lot, I have become very concerned about the things I say and things that people say. In the building and destruction of relationships, words are important.

 

5.  Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

 

None; Most of the ideas raised in this book had already surfaced in my previous readings of books in this level so that prior experience was able to shape my understanding of the concepts raised.

 

6.  Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

 

The book contained exercises that were meant to help me experience the lessons or at least realise how applicable they were. I tried out some of them and for those ones I could see that they were true in principle. I am yet to continue in them to ascertain their practicality.

 

7.  Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

 

None.

 

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

 

A.     How interesting was it to read?                         8

B.      How helpful were the contents?                        8

C.      How easy was it to understand?                        8

D.   Would you recommend it to others?                   7

E.      What is the overall rating you would give it?   8

Nonviolent Communication
Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

1.  What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
The book introduces the act of communication that focuses on the real subject matter without causing undue friction in understanding thereby preventing problems in relationships. It hi lights how individuals can make their real feelings know without judging the other. At the same time it introduces the act of connecting with the other person’s needs Ann feelings in an attempt to really understand the person and to put both persons in the dialogue the opportunity to address the real issues in the dialogue.

2.  What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

a. Analysis of others are actually our own expressions of our needs and values

Yes. This is true when I look at it form instances when I have made judgments of things that later I find to be unfair. In many instances, it is very likely for people to associate themselves with people who share their values or have certain things in common with them. I think that this is because, they are unlikely to find faults with such persons; and it is in this that I see the motivation behind my own choice of friends and people to mingle with. I will be happy when someone does something that appeases to my values and needs and unhappy when it happens the other way. In instances where people have committed acts that make me unhappy, I reckon that on most of these occasions I have labeled the person as either bad, not up to standard, or not compatible with my personality.

b. Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts  

This concept is important to me not because I totally accept the idea, but because ethe debate raised in the book is particularly interesting. I personally have the concern that exposing your fears can make people take you for granted or exploit that fear. This explains especially why so many people are unwilling to express their fears or weaknesses especially in negotiations. Meanwhile I appreciate the example that the book uses to explain how effectively laying bare our fears can help make people understand us and empathize with our difficulties. What I finally derive from the whole conflict of this idea is that, the result of using this particular skill depends on the motive and virtue of the person with whom you are having this interaction with.

c. What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings but not the cause.

I see this around me all the time. People transferring their accrued experiences and frustrations unto other people and making them a cause of their own problems. Sometime, I have the temptation of analyzing people’s actions and intentions using previous knowledge or experiences with other people. I fell personally that sometimes I need to do this to be able to safeguard against further disappointments, hurts or failures. However, I am beginning to see that in most of these instances, the generalization is unfair and also begins to create doubt and uneasiness on the side of the other party.

d. If we don’t value our needs, others may not value them either.

Of  course. The world is so busy that people rarely have eyes to see things that are not advocated for. So if we are unable to make known our standards, want and needs, it is difficult for someone to take up that responsibility. After reading this book, I have identified the most important component of effective communication as the identification of need. Since communication must address the needs of the parties involved, identifying the needs of the other person in communications takes prominence above any other thing else.

e. When we make requests we must let our real needs come clear: otherwise there is conflict in communication

Getting the right message across has sometimes been a problem in my own communication style. I thing that sometimes it is because I like to spend less words communicating and in doing so I leave out very important aspects of the things I would like the other person to know. Communicating without making our real needs known makes it difficult for us to get satisfaction. And when we are not satisfied with the response of the other party, this is also likely to generate judgments and further frustrations.

f. When we fear punishment, we focus on consequences and not our own values.

This concept is embedded in the phenomenon that the ” fear of corporal punishment obscures childrens’ awareness of the compassion that underlies parental demands”. The world is currently sitting on a time-bomb because many people are only obeying rules because they fear what the repercussions of not obeying will be. This is the same situation in our societies. Many people in their relationships, in their jobs, in their social interactions are doing things and obeying setting standards because going against them will attract backlash. What this means is that at a time when people no longer fear punishments, impudent actions become the other of the day. For example when I was in basic school, there colleagues of mine who were always in trouble because they are accustomed to taken lashes as punishment for the things they do. Since they do not fear these punishments therefore, they misbehave with impudence bearing in mind that they could bear the consequences.

g. What bores the listener bores the speaker too

This is a very interesting concept that I am reading about for the first time. I don’t fully appreciate the statement though it seems to me that in a couple of instances I have myself been bored with a subject I talked about because I thought that the people wre not enjoying it. I deduce that, the reason for this boredom on the part of the speaker is because of the response and feedback the listeners give during the interaction. As a public speaker myself, I reckon that, the most enjoyable talks I have ever made were those that attracted favorable response and gestures from those who listened to me.  To this effect therefore, I believe that any person interacting must be conscious of what feedback the listeners are giving. In my own line of duty, I think that this will be able to help shape my presentations to yield the most effective result.

3.  How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

As mentioned earlier, I see a lot of importance in understanding the tenets of NVC. Communication become very difficult especially because every listener has an experience or culture is likely to influence their perception of issues and the interpretation of what the speaker is trying to put across. On the other hand, it becomes essential that, a public speaker tries very hard to identify with every person needs in order to be able to address the specific needs of the audience.  As much as the book mentions the impact of cultural conditioning on communication between people, I think that as a public speaker I will have as well, pay attention these things.
On the other hand as a person who deals with people from different backgrounds as volunteers of my organization, I think that the most critical aspect  of this responsibility as  a leader will be to ensure that all those I communicate to, get a vivid understanding of what my needs are, and this will aid them in also working to satisfy my needs or that of the organization. Thirdly, the issue of demands and request also become crucial when I am working with our staff. Since people are more reluctant to respond to a need expressed in demand, what will work for me is to as much as possible adopt the request tone of putting across my needs.

4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“fear of corporal punishment obscures childrens’ awareness of the compassion that underlies parental demands”

This quote is very interesting because recently there have been agitation against corporal punishment in Ghana. The argument made against it is as stated in this quote but this has been strongly objected to with the argument that unless there is some form of punishment (painful punishment) it will be very difficult to deter students from doing the bad thing. I am tempted to agree with both sides because I have been molded with corporal punishment but at the same time I see the logic in the blanket that corporal punishment puts on the real need of those who mete it out.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

“Judging others contributes to violence”
I am not fully convinced about this quotation in the book. I believe that judgment ( right judgment) even though is mainly based on evaluation, stems from evaluating in respect of an accepted norm and in consultation with a number of views: this is particularly true of judgments handed out through the court system.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book had exercises that tested my ability to distinguish between thoughts and needs and to sift between needs and evaluations. These exercises were very helpful and took me a step further into understanding what the writer talked about. I was happy to see that in 70% of the cases, I understood the writer and my evaluations conformed to his.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

None.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A.  How interesting was it to read?                            7
B.  How helpful were the contents?                           8
C.  How easy was it to understand?                           8
D.  Would you recommend it to others?                   8
E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?     8

Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book contains simple practical leading questions that seek to unveil the reader to himself/herself. The questions and ideas raised bordered on seven practical traits that are likely to make a person more productive and focused in the achievement of goals. The book mixes introduction of concepts with questions that will stimulate the reader towards assessing their own traits as raised in the book. Grouping the ideas into two main categories, I would say that it first looks at how you can tap maximally into your own strengths and secondly to value people.

2.  What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

Since the book focuses on 7 habits, I will dedicate the seven lessons to the seven habits mentioned in the book

a. Be Proactive

Failing to be proactive means resigning oneself to making their life an accident. Being proactive demands a lot of planning. And when the book, talks about trying to avoid knee-jerk reactions to things that happen, I think that it only means that when planning, it is important that there is room created for challenges and setbacks. Making rooms for these things will make a person prepared to face interferences and distractions rather than reactive. Sometimes, our shortfalls are that we so much concentrate on the positive aspects of our work and life that we do not create any margin  for distractions and setbacks.

b. Begin with the end in mind.

This also hinges on the importance of planning and foresight. Setting goals, and aiming at them makes it a motivation towards achieving them. Without goals, it is difficult to know how much effort is needed to achieve a particular result. In my line of duty as programs coordinator, this phenomenon is always helpful. This is because, the shaping of the whole structure is dependent on what is expected to be achieved at the end. In our recent conference for tertiary students in Ghana, the plan was to get about 500 participants and we expected to draw participation from other west African countries, making the conference international and of high standard. At the end of the event, even though we did not hit the 500 mark, we were able to attract the international participation and to use the complex structure of rules that we looked forward to implementing.

c.  Put first things first.

This concept looks easy. It sounds easy and the first time I saw this in the text of the book, I thought that this is a normal thing for anyone to do. But further thoughts about it, proved to me that sometimes it is not that easy. This is mainly because, without effective and painstaking planning, it is difficult to know what comes first. Like in building a house or pyramid, it is important to use the right bricks at the base. Bricks that are strong enough to hold the upper structure. Any mistake to misplace this can create a weak foundation which can jeopardize the entire structure. Therefore without first things placed first, second things become irrelevant or waste time.

d. Think Win/Win

My view on this is that as much as it’s desirable it is very difficult to know how to create a win-win situation. Sometimes even when the situations is win/win, it is not easily identified. The moral foundation of this habit is that, people should not be used as means to an end. The end justifies the means, but only when the means does not imply using people as a tool to the end. When I took my undergraduate studies in MedicL Laboratory Technology, we had a heated debate on whether it was moral for scientist to use some people for the benefit of others. One main lesson, I get form this is that people easily associate with those who they think give them also the opportunity to excel.

e.  Seek first to understand…….. then to be understood

Whenever this is practiced, selfishness eliminated. This moral lesson falls directly in line with the principle of Non-violent communication. But it requires a lot of discipline on the first person. I am not in good standing of this particular practice. I am prone to use established facts and standards for determining who should be understood. My stance has been that, once there is N established norm and protocol by which an activity should be carried out, I expect that whoever is carrying it our must go by that and nothing else. When people short fall of this I get upset, but from reding this, I think that sometimes room needs to be given to evaluate what the other person is going through.

f.  Synergize

In my line of work, dealing with youth from different backgrounds and with different ideas synergy is very important. In organizational work, variety is very important. For some, marketing come natural, for some human relations, for some planning, for some serving, for some oration and many more. There needs to be various ingredients in making a project run: for instance in planning a conference. The society is too vast to avoid variety, variety is the spice of life. Concerning the concept of ” two heads better than one” it is important for checks and balances and for catering for the very variety that exists in society.

g. Sharpen the saw

In an ever changing world, it is important to develop ourselves to meet the standard of the new paradigms. As an educational trainer, it is important that I continue to learn news things in society that I can easily use as an example in making concepts clear to the people I talk to. As people change, their interest and appeals change and there is the need for us to develop ourselves to fit into the system.

3.  How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

It is clear from the lessons in this book, that people are a priority and that whoever places value on people is bound to get the attention and respect of the people they value. As someone who works with people, I believe that this lessons will help me make people feel very valuable.  Communication is also highlighted because the most effective way to understand people is to use a very effective communication mechanism.  On the other hand, it becomes essential that, a public speaker tries very hard to understand  every persons needs in order to be able to address the specific needs of the audience.  I also need to develop my knowledge and  skill to be able to fit into the changing paradigms of the areas I work in and the people I encounter. I think that as a public speaker I will have as well, pay attention these things.

On the other hand as a person who deals with people from different backgrounds as volunteers of my organization, I think that the most critical aspect  of this responsibility as  a leader will be to ensure that all those who communicate with me are understood and this will aid them in also working to satisfy my needs or that of the organisation. I also need to synergize more to be able to get the best out of the vast array of people I have around me.

4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“when you are proactive, you are ready and calm to respond to things that happen “

This quotation is important to me because i cherish planning. Planning breeds pro-activeness. Like I mentioned earlier, once planning is given priority, it is bound to Crete room for possible setbacks and challenges, therefore, whoever is undertaken an activity or program with such a plan is prepared enough to meet any problems or distractions. This is what has contributed to most of my success in youth and educational work.

5.  Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

“Judging others contributes to violence”
I am not fully convinced about this quotation in the book. I believe that judgment ( right judgment) even though is mainly based on evaluation, stems from evaluating in respect of an accepted norm and in consultation with a number of views: this is particularly true of judgments handed out through the court system.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes the book had exercises that tested my ability to distinguish between thoughts and needs and to sift between needs and evaluations. These exercises were very helpful and took me a step further into understanding what the writer talked about. I was happy to see that in 70% of the cases, I understood the writer and my evaluations conformed to his.

7.  Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

None.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A.  How interesting was it to read?                          7
B.  How helpful were the contents?                         8
C.  How easy was it to understand?                         8
D.  Would you recommend it to others?                 8
E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?   8

Maximum Achievement
Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

This effect of this book hinges on the principle of attitude as the main recipe for success. It focuses on explaining how difference in attitude determines the difference achievement.  The book uses very salient examples of peoples’ lives, their actions and inactions and how they translated into the achievement attained by those individuals. In the total scheme of things, this book treats success as an inherent trait of every person that can only be unlocked with the right acts, decisions and thinking.

The book clearly outlines various modalities that can be used by the reader to unlock this trait and stimulate the power to succeed. A very major part of this book titled the Master Program explores various principles of life and interprets how they get manifested in real life.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

a.  Insanity is doing the same things in the same way and expect to get different results

One of my lecturers in school used this phrase when we were working with him on an academic presentation. He was a man who was so obsessed with success that he almost always complained about the shortfalls in our society. As a typical African who had his training in Europe he was always looking out for the prim and proper things he saw in certain aspects of life there. Clearly he was emphasizing on the concept of daring experimentation which was lost in certain aspects of daily life. Once we fail to try out new things in our quest to achieve greater heights it will be likened to pouring water into a glass with a hole at the base; “futile”. 

b.  Everything you know and believe about yourself today, you have learned as a result of the experiences you have had since childhood

This concept is one of the very important lessons I have been learning since I began my series of books in this program. There is no right or wrong, success or failure, good or bad, except what has been programmed in conscience. I have always wondered why there is difference in culture, difference in beliefs and difference in standards. Why is it that something that is considered sufficient in one persons mind is not sufficient in the other persons? I have gradually come to the conviction that limits are set by perception and the rule to the life of a man is perception.  Sometimes when I have been moved to draw lines and make judgements on things, I have learned through this program to look at it from the view of perception and their variance in it. I am convinced that the things I hold dear, true and valuable will obviously have changed if were born into a different setting.

c.  Homeostasis

I have grown over the years studying in the sciences and knowing homeostasis as a term preserve for the sciences. This book names it the Law of correspondence. The inner being corresponds to the outer being. In the medical sciences, the homeostatic balance when defied results in diseases and in the same way that discomfort arises whenever homeostasis between the inner being and the outer being is not achieved. My only concern is that the homeostasis scenario created in the social sense is more fluid than what is known in the medical sciences.  

d. The Law of Emotion (The things we do, or refrain from doing, because of fear, far outweigh what we do because of desire)

So I reckon: Many more serve God out of fear for punishment (hell) than out of love for God (or Paradise). If hell was no more, many would not mind missing Paradise. Today in our world, religion has become paramount especially in places like Africa where I live. Many people live religiously out of their fear for negative consequences than for the purpose of the good benefits. Even in school, students are moved to study more out of the fear of failing than out of the desire for success. I agree, I am 100% emotion (fear plus desire), and truly, I don’t know yet, which one is motivating me to write this.

e.  Acres of Diamonds (Diamonds do not look like diamonds in their raw form when looked at it with the unskilled eye)

There are two lessons that I learn from this statement. First, that there is some form of greatness in every person and most times we only need to look inward to see the genius we always wish to see. Second, that in some instances, we need someone with the eye for quality and skill to be able to determine our strengths and potentials. Even more revealing is the fact that, to be able to identify a diamond, we need to do some refinery.  To be able to realise our strengths, we will need to discipline ourselves to go through training and practice. Above all, we need to give ourselves the chance.

f.  The Law of Reciprocity: What’s in it for me?

In many instances I have worked towards attracting sponsorship for our events in leadership development and I have in most cases had the challenge of showing how our event was going to reciprocate the gesture by the organisations I approach. I have been unhappy with this seeming rule that there should always be a reward or reciprocal gesture to donations made by business institutions in issues of sponsorship and donations. Reading this text makes me understand. I even think that this law works in many ways in our relationship with our fellow men. If gains are not direct, they are probably indirect or yield indirect satisfaction or goals for givers. 

g.  Identification as one of the causes for Negative emotions

The moment we detach ourselves from the things that happen as harming us capable of causing us pain, we will cease to be angry. Any time I try to ask myself why I get angry at an action or at someone I always find myself answering that it was not right, not fair, or not moral for the other person to take that action or for that event to happen. Now I realise out of the previous readings in this course that, all those: what is right, what is fair, what is moral, are all judgements based on my own values. So I think that to be able to solve that problem of anger, what I have to do is to alienate myself from judgements and identification with events and actions.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

I have learned in this book that success and failure all rest on attitude. As a Ghanaian youth seeking to develop my capabilities in Leadership, I need to take hold of the things I think about and how to nurture my ideas to fruition. This process is a lasting process that has many steps and challenges. Even though this book mentions strategies to unlock hidden powers to succeed, I see it as more than that. In my youth and community work, I deal with people with different traits, expectations and attitude. In my quest to break through the limitations I have as an African, I will need to strengthen my thoughts and convictions as I move forward. My big ambition of becoming a health development expert stems from the fact that I wish to see changes in the health care system in Ghana. The book motivates me to continue to nurture this ambition and makes me realise the obligation of sharing my knowledge and skills if I wish to show love. These lessons have rejuvenated my resolve to develop my potentials and help change my society. The world is becoming increasingly complex and the complication demands an elevation of thought in order to survive. This lessons I have learnt from this book are particularly suitable for the development of good thinking by youth in areas where there are serious societal limitations. Achievement does not come by chance but through conscious effort to succeed.

4.   Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“The things we do, or refrain from doing, because of fear, far outweigh what we do because of desire”

I think that this was the single catchiest phrase for me through-out my entire encounter with this book. It strikes me that I have read this concept somewhere in my earlier series of books in this course, but I guess I have not been struck as strong with the reality as I was by this book.  Obviously, I think that book painted the most vivid picture of the concept for me.

Immediately I understood what I was reading, I decided to share this with friends and colleagues. I posted this on my Facebook wall, and I was amazed the prompt show of interest in the concept. Many of my friends have stated that they have not really taken time to look at things in that light, and I think I haven’t either, even though I know that the statement is largely true for explaining the actions of men.
I find this statement important because I think it fits in perfectly as the top up information I need to be able to largely understand the actions of men and this book has served me with very valid information.

5.  Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No there is none. This book is in most part very clear. It the book I have understood the most in this program.

6.  Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book did not contain any specific exercises, but there were a series of stepwise approaches to explaining how the concepts raised in the book could work. However, the lessons that I identified were compelling enough to set me think about ways through which I could develop that attitude towards success. The lessons are appealing and I am determined to cultivate and inculcate them.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.
None extra. All of them have been written about in the earlier sections.

8.  Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A.  How interesting was it to read?              9
B.  How helpful were the contents?            10
C.  How easy was it to understand?            10
D.  Would you recommend it to others?        10
E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?        10

Unlimited Power
Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

1.  What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book emphasizes that the power needed by an individual to achieve success is mainly based in the mindset. It portrays the mind as the ultimate product of a man, his circumstance, and the results that will be achieved in the lifetime of the person. It introduces the power of the mind to be able to transform and conform, make or break, build or destroy. It teaches how the power of the brain can be harnessed and used as a vehicle for achieving goals. It encourages the maximum use of the mind in order for a man to achieve prosperity and good living. It treats the mind as the hub of ideas, and inner power that has the potential to change circumstances. It shows how the mind can be strategically tilled to ensure success.

2.  What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

A.  Power is the ability to act; knowledge breeds this power

It is very true that there can’t be any results without action. There can never be changes in society or in an individual’s life without moving to action. Looking back at my life, there have been certain instances that I have avoided getting involved with certain responsibilities because I did not have enough knowledge to be able to effectively distinguish myself in that endeavour. There are some that I do engage in now because, I have acquired some learning that makes me more comfortable now. As I write, there still some that I continued to avoid because I still do not have enough knowledge. As a worker in an academic institution, I appreciate that the more knowledge you have, the more power you wield, and the more you can achieve.

B. When we are in an uncomfortable state, we are more prone to see things negatively.

Any time I woke up in the morning feeling tired, I had the feeling that the day was going to be unfulfilling and that there certain targets that I could not accomplish. Most times when I am unhappy or worn out, I seem to have very high standards of things that my colleagues need to accomplish and I tend to shy away from taking the challenge to take on tasks. I believe that this is one of the strong reasons why students who seem to have had some bad experience prior to their exams tend to fail or do not take time to pay attention to details in the answers that they provide. The lessons I draw form this, is that, it is always important to create a good atmosphere around me when I intend to achieve the most out of any task. This lesson is very crucial for me because my work involves a lot of planning and forecasting, and there is the need for a lot of positive thinking.

C.  Money is not the only way to self-motivation

I believe that there is more fulfilment in touching lives more than touching money. Over the years that I have been involved with volunteer work, I have had the pleasure of seeing the lives of children transform due to the programs and training that we expose them to. In many instances the stories that the kids share and the skills they acquire in nurturing their leadership qualities. I have been volunteering my time all these 7 years without pay, and sometimes people are shocked that I continue to devote time and resources to developing leadership in rural areas. I am always happy and motivated to get going because I know that the people I affect are making maximum gains from the endeavour.

D. Sometimes, just knowing no limitation is enough to succeed.

Fear is the most dominating factor in the life of man. Once man conquers fear, happiness and success is easy to come their way. This is one principle I have learned in this reading series, and it helps me to venture into areas that I would not necessarily have ventured into because of fear. To this end therefore, I strongly agree with this statement that once there is no fear of limitation or failure, there is more energy in the effort put into getting work done and this is what guarantees success. The principle of faith also hinges on the same idea that, there is nothing that can stop a success or good fate that is coming the way of the believer.

E.  Principle 5: There is no such thing as failure; only results.

In every act there bound to be a result. It is how we interpret the results that make it success or failure. In essence, failure or success is a making of the mind. It is how we react to the results that emanate from our actions that make the difference. I believe that I have learned a lot of things that have moulded me into who I am today, thanks to all the results from my work in leadership development. There are times when my recruitment of staff has led to under-productivity and there are times when I have succeed in getting the job done. In all these instances, I have only grown to become a good human resource manager. That for me is what is most important. There are instances when some plans and arrangements I made only gave birth to bottlenecks in our operations, but at the end it only makes me a better planner.         

F. Sometimes it is not that people don’t know how to learn, but that people don’t know how to teach

When I was a student in the University, I wondered why some lecturers were successful at making students understand the concepts that other lecturers failed to relay. I was of the view that, the unsuccessful ones did not really have understanding of the concept. But now I understand that in most of these cases, it’s not because the lecturers do not understand, but that they did not know how to get their students to gain insight they way they have it. Now I am also in the position of imparting knowledge into other students and I think that one of the important things for me will be to learn how to get my students to understand the things I teach them.

G.  Adopting good eating habits.

As I write this lesson, I have made efforts to control my food eating habits. I was very surprised at the statement that “the surest way to increase the lifespan of an animal was to cut down its food intake. As a scientist, this has some merits and demerits. But as a personal policy I am beginning to experience the activity and strength of going easy on food. When I mentioned this to my friends, most of them thought that the idea did not sound well. Of course, it didn’t because like the book stated, many people have grown with the idea that eating much junk meant living good. It will take a lot of discipline and will to change this, and this is what I intend to do.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

I want to grow up to become a leader. In my quest to lead, I will be responsible for doing individual thinking as well as thinking for my followers. It becomes important for me to use the power of my thoughts to influence my society As a youth seeking to develop my capabilities in Leadership, I need to take hold of the things I think about and how to nurture my ideas to achieve results. The major lesson of taking control of my thoughts to set myself free from my limitations is very paramount. In my youth and community work, I deal with people who form the environment that is painted by the book.  In my quest to break through the challenges and limitations I have as a young African seeking to, I will need to strengthen my thoughts and convictions as I move forward. My big ambition of becoming a health development expert stems from the fact that I wish to see changes in the paradigm of our health sector in Ghana. The book draws my attention to the power inherent in my thoughts and how to harness it. It motivates me to continue to nurture my ambitions and makes me realise the obligation of taking control of my thoughts if I aim at being a good leader. These lessons have strengthened my resolve to develop my potentials and help change my society. The world is becoming complex and the complication demands an expansion of my thought in order to survive. The ideas in here are therefore valuable.

4.   Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Adopting good eating habits.”

As I write this lesson, I have made efforts to control my food eating habits. I was very surprised at the statement that “the surest way to increase the lifespan of an animal was to cut down its food intake. As a scientist, this has some merits and demerits. But as a personal policy I am beginning to experience the activity and strength of going easy on food. When I mentioned this to my friends, most of them thought that the idea did not sound well. Of course, it didn’t because like the book stated, many people have grown with the idea that eating much junk meant living good. It will take a lot of discipline and will to change this, and this is what I intend to do.

5.  Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I put the issue of the food habits up for discussion in my office and there was a lot of controversy. Some thought that the idea was not feasible; others thought that it was laudable.          

6.  Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes. The book had a lot of exercises that required mental training and sharpening retentive memories. I enjoyed this lesson, because in some of the instances visual, audio and kinaesthetic ways of training the mind to be retentive.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

No. I have covered all of such issues in the earlier part of this assessment.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A.  How interesting was it to read?                                 9
B.  How helpful were the contents?                                9
C.  How easy was it to understand?                                9
D.  Would you recommend it to others?                        8
E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?          9

Leadership for Dummies
Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The title of the book clearly spells out the focus of the writer. To make the leadership concepts which mostly are complicated become simple enough for the ordinary person interested in leadership to utilise and practice. The book effectively uses the well-crafted examples and scenarios to illustrate the actions of leaders and make the principles come clear. The book ultimately drives home the fact that leadership is not a space science too complicated to be comprehended by the average person. With the right scenarios and the right practical illustrations, the average person should be able to effectively lead; that is what I think the focus of the book is.  

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

A.  Effective Leaders elicit the cooperation of others.

It is clear that there can’t be leadership without followership. Normally the activities of a group are carried out by the followers and hence the achievements of a leader are as a result of the input of the followers.  There is therefore the need for a leader to pull his followers along. Truly there’s nothing more effective than getting your workers or colleagues follow a path that they very much appreciate and want. In my earlier readings I encountered similar concepts and that led me to think that this is the reason why it is so important to get to know the aspirations of your colleagues or staff so as to weave an organisational strategy to fit into the individual/collective aspirations. Sometimes this will mean breaking down the overall goal into simpler ones that can target the individual aspirations.

B.  Leaders need a goal.

A journey without a destination is worthless; so is leadership without a goal. As I said in my earlier writing on having a dream, the leader is the one supposed to bear the dream of the group. Like the artist, painting is always preceded by an initial image in mind whether vivid or blur. The most important is the objective, the target, the goal. Organisations have visions and missions which they religiously stick to. So again, my conviction is that organisations or groups are as good as the goals of their leaders. I am beginning to measure personalities and firms by the kind of visions they have. And I am sure that all the big firms and businesses in the world today started with these subtle but strong imagery convictions. I have always shared with my friends my belief that only those who dream to write history and ever made it are honoured by history. History favours those who contribute to making it just as “the universe favours the virtuous”.

C.  Leadership is transient and situational.

This is a new concept that I am being introduced to. I have never heard of this. But I find that this is very true. If leaders work with goals, the achievement of these goals should either make them re-focus or leave the scene. I guess that this is the reason behind the many uprisings we have had recently in the Middle-East and Africa where long-staying leaders have had a lot of agitation against them because they have been stale with their ideas and leadership presence. Under these circumstances when leaders have achieved their goals, I think that the best way forward will be to move on to greater goals and greater heights. This will not make the leadership stale and would still make the leadership relevant.

D.  Developing a sense of urgency and being motivated.

If there is one problem that I am trying to correct, it is procrastination. Sometimes it’s because I am under the impression there is more time to do what I am supposed to do. In some cases, I am caught in the time trap and I am unable to achieve the set target. What I am therefore trying to do now is to move immediately to work on the things that I need to get done. Being motivated is the most important trait that a leader is supposed to have. This is because, leadership and goal-seeking is shrouded with a lot of challenges and it is only motivation and desire that can keep the leader focussed on continuing to achieve the purpose.

E.  Leadership is a process.

Throughout my readings in this series, I have identified that truly, there is a huge process involved in developing leadership, first; building the qualities as a leader, second; getting in position to lead and wining the right support from your followers and third; translating the leadership to achievement of goals. Today, I am a leader for groups of persons at a strategic level but I am now conscious that most of the skills I have acquired are the bits and pieces that I have gathered over the years of my involvement with people and strengthening my skills.         

F.  The principle of leading when you are not really the leader.

Sometimes we are preoccupied with the ambition of being in the driving seat. But it is really possible to get things going your way when you are not really the official leader. I remember my own initiatives in getting my goals achieved or considered by the leader. I first suggest the concept and my ideas. Normally after such circumstances, I am asked if I have any plans of achieving the goal. This therefore makes it possible for me to contribute steps and moves to be carried out by the team. And most often after I have been involved with the planning, I am also given the task to help in the monitoring and evaluation of the targets. In very few circumstances, I have volunteered to take on some challenges when there was a lack of leadership.

G.  Volunteering Your Time and Skills

I believe that anyone who is efficient in volunteering is also more efficient in a paid job. If someone can devote time freely to the course they believe in, then it most assured that they can get things effectively and passionately done. I believe in volunteer work because, I believe that there is more fulfilment in touching lives more than touching money. Over the years that I have been involved with volunteer work, I have had the pleasure of seeing the lives of children transform due to the programs and training that we expose them to. In many instances the stories that the kids share and the skills they acquire in nurturing their leadership qualities. I have been volunteering my time all these 7 years without pay, and sometimes people are shocked that I continue to devote time and resources to developing leadership in rural areas. I am always happy and motivated to get going because I know that the people I affect are making maximum gains from the endeavour.

3.  How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

I want to grow up to become a leader. In my quest to lead, I will be responsible for doing individual thinking as well as thinking for my followers. It becomes important for me to use the power of my thoughts to influence my society As a youth seeking to develop my capabilities in Leadership, I need to take hold of the things I think about and how to nurture my ideas to achieve results. The major lesson of taking control of my thoughts to set myself free from my limitations is very paramount. In my youth and community work, I deal with many situations like the ones illustrated in the book.  I will need to strengthen my thoughts and convictions as I move forward. My big ambition of becoming a health development expert stems from the fact that I wish to see changes in the paradigm of our health sector in Ghana. The book draws my attention to the power inherent in my thoughts and how to harness it. It motivates me to continue to nurture my ambitions and makes me realise the obligation of taking control of my thoughts if I aim at being a good leader. These lessons have strengthened my resolve to develop my potentials and help change my society. The world is becoming complex and the complication demands an expansion of my thought in order to survive. The ideas in here are therefore valuable.

4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

I will rather want to highlight other people’s quotes that were in the chapters:

“Experience has shown that every man is the architect of his own fortune.”

Ultimately, we are responsible for the effects of our actions and we create our world. In the same sense leaders, should be ultimately responsible for the results of their groups or organizations.
“The genius of a good leader is to leave behind him a situation which common sense, without the trace of genius, can deal with successfully.”

I simplify this as: a leader should set the tone to make it possible for even ‘a mediocre leader’ to succeed him and ensure continuity of the success.

5.  Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No. The issues were simple enough to be understood.            

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book had a lot of practical scenarios that stimulated my thinking into leadership and the issues raised by the chapters. This was particularly helpful and it contributed to simplifying the concepts enough to be understood.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

Yes. The book had a lot of lessons that I have not covered in my writing. Nevertheless they can all be identified in one way or another with the issues I have written on. 

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A.  How interesting was it to read?                              10
B.  How helpful were the contents?                             10
C.  How easy was it to understand?                              9
D.  Would you recommend it to others?                      10
E.   What is the overall rating you would give it?       10

Goals
Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
 
This book is about setting and achieving goals. The attitude needed to set goals, manage the process of achieving them, achieving them and then finally being able to sustain the success when you have achieved the goals. The book makes it clear that any goals is achievable; what is needed is the right approach to achieving it.  It clearly uses the authors own experiences in painting the picture that is desired to create and motivate the reader to achieve such objectives.

It uses the principle of self-esteem and belief to illustrate how success can be carved out of the persons own personality. It mentions various traits that an achiever need to get and gives vivid instances in which the individual can apply those principles.
 
2.  What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.
 
A. Measuring Progress

When I joined my youth organisation in 2005, there had been some programs and projects that have already been undertaken. However, the records and evaluation aspect of these projects were not very well structured. It was therefore very difficult to evaluate how well the organisation was doing in terms of achieving targets or making the desired impacts. Because we dealt with people who were also eager to improve on their leadership capabilities, it was necessary to get the reaction of the participants of our programs to how they had been improved over the course of the program. So this evaluation and monitoring is something I am keen on bolstering in the organisation so that we can best evaluate our success or challenges.  
 
B. Changing your thinking, changing your life

Prejudice is something that really sets limits. What we think we can do or cannot do will obviously determine the extent to which we can go or the risks and endeavours we may pursue. As I speak, there are still areas of work that I do not consider in my choice of career activities; business and trade. I have held the mind-set that these areas are high-risk endeavours that I do not have the heart to countenance. If I should change my mind now, and probably take the first step and succeed, I am sure I would have succeeded in doing away with this prejudice. Sometime ago, I thought that I was not capable of mainstream organisation of events, today, it is a routine activity.   

C. Manage your time well
 
This is not a new concept for me. Obviously, in my many years of work in leadership, I should have come across this concept. But the manner in which Brian Tracy used the issue of urgent and important matters. This section of the book clearly explains how different urgent matters are from important ones. Analysing the issues raised in this section, I see that it is very difficult to tell a person who badly manages time when the person is committed to dispatching urgent matters creditably. Inability to attend to urgent matters, stifle progress and at the same time draws attention to yourself in a corporate setting.  
 
D.  Associate with the right people

I am very much in support of this as a means of ensuring success and achievement. Being with the right people affects thinking, it affects resources, it affects passion and urge. I am where I am today because of the people I met along the way. In senior High school, it was a school counsellor, after SHS, it was the boss of the NGO I volunteer for; in the University it was my Lecturer who later became my first professional boss and now, I have the right footing to be able to launch myself into the future. Social media, is also a very critical place to manage the people we associate with. I have resolved to take the time to edit all social media friends who do not share the kind of things I want to see when I visit the internet. This is because I believe that what I see on the wall of my social networks influences my thinking.
 
E. Optimize your health and Wellness

There recent books I have been reading in this series, all seem to have some component of health awareness and fitness. When I was a student, I was always able to focus and learn better after I had exercised by playing my favourite game (badminton). I have identified that in this age of business and work, most people neglect the vital impact of the exercise that also contributes the wellbeing of people. This has worked tremendously for me and I believe that the writer was right in mentioning it. Eating well, sleeping well also contribute their quota to wellbeing.
 
F. Making and major definite purpose

This is normally the driving force. The bigger focus is what will determine the breakdown of the specific sub-targets. Here I use the Millennium development goals; 8 main goals with specific targets. Then I will also recount my work as a Senior Research Assistant in the University where research demands that you have an overriding aim, which will then specifically trickle down to research targets and objectives. The Goal becomes the destination and the sub-targets become the sign posts. I want to become a health development expert, so I know that I need to first have the health background, which I have acquired from my first degree, now I need training in development; so I intend to enter postgraduate studies this year in Peace and Development.   
 
G. Remove the Roadblocks
The book does not really talk of this as avoiding road blocks but using them as stepping stones. It explains that the roadblock which most often is the experience of failure, normally does not mean it is not possible, it only makes the victory worthwhile. So to this extent, I see the roadblocks more in the mind-set, than tangible objects. We see roadblocks because we see them as such; others may see them as stepping stones.
 
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
 
I have learned in this book that success and failure all rest on attitude. As a Ghanaian youth seeking to develop my capabilities in Leadership, I need to take hold of the things I think about and how to nurture my ideas to fruition. This process is a lasting process that has many steps and challenges. Even though this book mentions strategies to unlock hidden powers to succeed, I see it as more than that. In my youth and community work, I deal with people with different traits, expectations and attitude. In my quest to break through the limitations I have as an African, I will need to strengthen my thoughts and convictions as I move forward. My big ambition of becoming a health development expert stems from the fact that I wish to see changes in the health care system in Ghana. The book motivates me to continue to nurture this ambition and makes me realise the obligation of sharing my knowledge and skills if I wish to show love. These lessons have rejuvenated my resolve to develop my potentials and help change my society. The world is becoming increasingly complex and the complication demands an elevation of thought in order to survive. This lessons I have learnt from this book are particularly suitable for the development of good thinking by youth in areas where there are serious societal limitations. Achieving Goals does not come by chance but through conscious effort to succeed.
 
4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“The weakest living creature, by concentrating his powers on a single object, can accomplish something; the strongest, by dispersing his over many, may fail to accomplish anything.”

This saying mirrors the kind of reforms I am proposing in the programs of our youth organisation. I want us to limit our activities so that we could be able to better focus on a few and perfect their outputs.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

The Future are for the Risk takers:  Sometimes I am comfortable when we overly emphasize the potency of risk to cause change. I believe that risk-taking to some extent is good, but I also think that over-risking may be the bane of progress. Excessive risk, could damage resources and may bring an outcome that may be deterrent to future endeavours. I am more of an advocate for those who try to devise new process and goals when they see that their goals cannot be achieved because of the huge risks involved. Sometimes, charting alternative goals are a better (even though sometimes longer) ways of achieving an earlier on problematic objective.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
 
The book had exercises at the end of each chapter. Most of these exercises are ones that I can only get the results and experience outcome after a period of practicing them.   I however, think that they are very simple and when adhered to can achieve that desired results.
 
7.  Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

Nothing extra. All of them have been written about in the earlier sections.
 
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read?                           7
B. How helpful were the contents?                          8
C. How easy was it to understand?                          9
D. Would you recommend it to others?                   8
E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?    8

The Law of Attraction
Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
 
The book symbolises the human as a magnet; capable of attracting results, just by putting oneself in the right state of mind. The book portrays the mind as the master of circumstances, the past and future, good and bad. It introduces the power of the mind to be able to attract the positive and negative just by virtue of what it is accustomed to. It encourages the maximum use of the mind in order for a man to achieve prosperity and good living. It treats thoughts as a vending machine or a miller, whatever is put in it determines what comes out as the ultimate product.
 
There is also a stepwise process of how to rid the mind of negative thoughts and fill it with positives. The fact that we can create heaven out of our thoughts. Simply, we are what we are, and have what we have because of how we think.
 
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.
 
a. The Importance of Words; when the words change, the Vibrations change.

 

This book really simplifies the impact that words have on our life, and to some extent that of others. Words, make friends and make enemies, they bring peace and at the same time can fuel war. I believe that they all are as a result of the vibrations described in the book. In my line of work, communication is very important. You get support or dissention based on the manner in which the words are crafted. I have had many instances where the same instructions given out, achieve different results; positive and negative.
 
b. Identify what makes you feel good and do more of it.   

 

Reading this statement initially did not give me the idea that I was unconsciously practicing the principle. For example, since I recognised that my passion has always been with working with people, interacting about social issues and engaging society and youth. I have always endeavoured to go close to events that give me the opportunity to enjoy such happy moments of work. I have always declined being coerced to do the jobs or play the roles that I am not comfortable with. Before I read this book, I was concerned that I was being too skewed towards my comfort zone. But now I rationalise that in a lot of ways, I keep myself enjoying my working moments and in the process, generating positive vibrations.
 
c. Selfish – Self-care
 
Amazing! This is very controversial. The long standing knowledge of ideal communal living frowns on selfishness. But, thinking deeply about the statement and the explanation offered in the book, I believe that the definition for selfishness given by society and that makes it a ‘taboo’ is not the same as the selfishness described by the author in this book. In this book I see selfishness as seeking good for yourself without it being detrimental or taking away from other persons what is due them. The selfishness that has received disapproval is that which tries to amass a lot; including that which does not belong to the person. But Ultimately, I agree with the writer that, everyone needs to wish good and seek good for himself/herself. After all, I believe that every person is selfish, but it is the degree/extent of the selfishness that differentiates; and with that said, I think that I am moderately selfish and Michael makes me understand that is OK.  
 
d. Allowing-the absence of negative vibrations.

 

The issue of doubt is one of my biggest enemies. Especially when it has to do with things that I have previous perceptions about due to some information that I have received. My first impressions are very critical to my belief about a person or idea. Sometimes, I have grown to realise that these impressions stall the urge I need to work for a particular course. There people I never desire to have as friends because of the doubts I have developed about their loyalty based on first impressions. There are even competitions I have refused in the past to enter because of the stories I have heard and which contributed to me doubting the possibility or genuine of winning such contests.
 
e. Holding on to desire.

 

I think that holding on to desire can only be guaranteed when there is interest. I believe that holding on to a desire that you are not really accustomed to can be difficult. So like I said earlier on, what I do most of the time is to stay glued to the things that keep me happy, so that I can continue to generate positive vibes.
 
f. Keep your words simple.

 

When I was growing up, there was the adage that, “Simple English is good English”. This was true. For the lesson was always that it gets complicated understanding complicated sentences, especially for us the young children. Since then I have come to appreciate that the communicator always saved time and energy, communicating in simple terms.
 
 
 
g. Calibrating

 

This idea is contained at the end of the book. It is a prelude to another book written by Losier on building rapport. I was enthused by the manner in which it uniquely points out how you could judge a person’s mental state by actions and try to adjust your communication to meet/address the state at the time. This is one thing I think will be helpful in my communication, especially since it is not always that I get the verbal feedback from people I communicate with and my concern has always been trying to employ means to decipher the psychological state of the person listening to me. Hence it really helps in communication. I look forward to getting this book on (building) ‘Rapport’.   
 
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
 
Since this book follows in line with the theme of the previous books, it contributes to my general aspirations and interest in life as I stated in the earlier assessments. That I need to take hold of the things I think about and how to nurture my ideas to fruition. This process is a lasting process that has many steps and challenges. The major lesson of taking control of my thoughts to set myself free from my limitations is very paramount. In my youth and community work, I deal with people; optimists and pessimists. In my quest to break through the limitations I have as an African, I will need to strengthen my thoughts and convictions as I move forward. My big ambition of becoming a health development expert stems from the fact that I wish to see changes in the health care system in Ghana.

 

The book motivates me to continue to nurture this ambition and makes me believe that my thinking can make me achieve what I need and what I aspire for.  The obligation of sharing my knowledge and skills if I wish to show love. These lessons have rejuvenated my resolve to develop my potentials and help change my society. The world is becoming increasingly complex and the complication demands an elevation of thought in order to survive. This lessons I have learnt from this book are particularly suitable for the development of good thinking by youth in areas where there are serious societal limitations. This is why I see this book very useful.
 
4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

 

“To help you observe contrast briefly, say “So what do I want.”
 
This means that we need to be conscious about what we want and conscious about the world in which we want to live.

 

“Whether it’s positive or negative vibration, the Law of Attraction will give you more of the same.”
 
Whatever goes in produces results, irrespective of whether it’s desired or not.

 

“Doubt is a negative vibration and doubt is often created from limiting beliefs.”

 

This one was very relevant to my life because I have the habit of limiting myself because of previous information.

 

“Appreciation and gratitude help you offer strong, positive vibrations.”

 

I like this phrase because, it is my way of always staying happy.
“Your job is not to try and figure things out intellectually but to let the Law of attraction figure it out.”
 
“Abundance is a feeling.”

 

Yes. Just as contentment is great gain, as the Bible puts it.
 
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?
 
Selfish – Self-care

 

This was the only contentious issue for me in the book which I have already written on above.

 

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
 
Yes, the book contained specific exercises. The exercises were mainly about identifying contrast between what is desired and undesired.  They were interesting enough to set me think about ways through which I could develop that attitude or virtues. The lessons are appealing and I am determined to cultivate and inculcate them.
 
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

 

No.
 
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 toTen is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read?                             8
B.  How helpful were the contents?                           8
C.  How easy was it to understand?                           8
D.  Would you recommend it to others?                    8
E.   What is the overall rating you would give it?     8

Raising Children Compassionately

Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

This book is focused on the methods employed in the raising of children. It compares the already established status quo of how parents are oriented towards raising their children; becoming the all-knowing parent that is supposed to teach the child what to do. This books seeks to explain how children can be involved in their up-bringing rather than make them mere recipients. It also explains with good scenarios how parents can shift from the ‘bossy’ way of telling their children what to do to get their attention and earn their cooperation.  
 
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.
 
a. The use of “child” and its effect on how the parents see their wards.  
 
When I was reading this section of the book, I tried to mention the word “child” to myself with the intention of identifying the feeling that came with the word. I used phrases like “I am going to talk to that child”. Then I tried replacing the word child in that same sentence with “my brother”. I realized that the subtle feeling I had with the first statement is more of an authoritative, instructional one than the one in the second feeling; which was like that of a business discussion.  I realized it was true what the author was talking about when he said that the use of the word ‘child’ had the tendency to make them look inferior, naïve and without direction.

In Ghana, most people are against it when the word child is used in reference to them. I seem to understand why now. For me ‘Child” could refer to someone who is blameless, pure and loving. But we have been accustomed to the other connotations such as “stupid”. I am not sure whether I felt, as a child, that such tags made me feel inferior. I guess, all I know is that I was supposed to be called a child, I was a child and there was nothing wrong with being called a child. Therefore, I think I agree with the author when he says that it is not the mere use of the word that is problematic, but rather the feeling and sense of subordination we seem to imply by using it.     
 
b. There is a strong need for us to protect our autonomy, and children also have that human trait.

I have realized that an attempt to downplay another person’s autonomy is something that always attracts resistance.  One time in my postgraduate class, a course mate drew my attention to the friction between two other classmates. As a small class, the interpersonal relationships between us was open and cordial. However, one of the parties involved in the feud was not willing to talk about the possibility of settling the matter. When I contacted that mate, he told me that he was not willing to listen because the course mate who sought to mediate was trying to make him feel he was responsible for the feud and that he should have been more matured. Clearly, I realized that such a statement was not going down well with someone who also believed that his version of the story was right. He made a statement which pointed to his right to autonomy. He said: “How can you blame me solely for this conflict and tell me that I did not act matured enough? I don’t expect anyone to come and tell me what to do and how to relate to people. I know how to do these things myself”.
Even though this was a defiant statement to our efforts to make peace, I realize now that, he was probably resisting that supposition that he did not act right and that he was irresponsible. One of the cardinal principles of mediation is to respect that autonomy of the parties involved. This is the same autonomy I think the author refers to when he talks about getting a child to follow a particular path.  
 
c. Punishments have limitations and so do rewards

In the author’s earlier book I read titled “Non-violent Communication”, he presented an argument which I think is echoed in this book on raising children. In the earlier book on NVC, the author explains how people do things mostly out of fear than out of passion. Putting this side by side with the use of rewards and punishments to coerce children to do something, I accept that it is very critical for parents to make sure that their wards are doing things because they believe that’s the right thing to do, not because they will be rewarded for doing it or that they would be punished for not doing it. I also really appreciate that the author identifies there are certain times it is important to use punishments or reward, (especially punishment) to get the children to refrain from harmful acts. What I find missing is that the author fails to explain what extent of punishment or reward is adequate or permissible to achieve that kind of effect. The author only uses a scenario (under the use of force section), of himself and his child and how he used restrictions to get the child from wandering unto the road.
    
d. “Don’t mix up that which is habitual with that which is natural.”-Ghandi

This is a great idea that opens up a huge arena of innovative understanding for me. Anytime I travelled outside Ghana, I was surprised at how people did things differently from how it is known in Ghana. When I was in Liberia, I was surprised to see Cassava leaves used for stews. I cast my mind back then and wonder what I might have said subtly in my mind at the time; “Wow! This is not natural”. But now, I am tempted to refrain from saying that, to saying; “This is not habitual”. Thanks to this book.    

e. The Captain game

I find the story of the child and the candy very captivating and lesson-driven. I remember that when I was in High School, I was selected by my school to participate in my first Model UN conference in Ghana. That particular conference was a memorable one because I eventually got the opportunity to play a leadership role which I least expected. As a delegate, I was selected to chair a session made up of my peers. I remember that at that instance I realized that it gave me the opportunity to feel the shoes of the previous staff who was chairing and whom we had accused of being bias in the selection of delegates to speak. Here I was, now responsible for the duty and I had to come to terms with the difficulty in chairing such a gathering and the near-impossibility of making sure everyone was satisfied with the chairing process, especially the calling out of delegates to talk. Since then, in all my Model UN endeavors, I learned how not to be so critical about the chairpersons. I believe that if children got the opportunity to step into the shoes of their parents, like the author did with his child, they will appreciate the challenges of parenting and would be more sensitive to the needs of their parents.       
 
f. Protective use of force vs. punitive use of force.

Under certain circumstances, the use of corporal punishment is used in most Ghanaian schools to get school children to conform to the rules of school. I understand that the author seeks to draw the line between the punitive use of force and the protective use of force. As I have already explained above, I think that punishment that obscures the reason for a particular action does little to sustainably change behavior. Hence, I find that the success of effective parenting as described by the author will depend on the parent’s ability to draw the line between the two.

I cast my mind back to my days as a child and I wonder what my perception of those strokes from mum and dad were. Today, I can understand that they were both punitive and protective. For me, children, at their level, would obviously see punishment in relation to an action as punitive irrespective of how much a parent tries to polish it to look protective. It is however, the parent who should be mindful about what purpose and intent motivates the action. That is what I think can determine the measure of force to be meted out. If child abuse through force can be curbed in Ghana, I believe that it depends on how to judge the barrier.   
 
g. Creating and maintaining supportive communities
 
With this new wave for a more compassionate approach to raising children, it obviously calls for change in longstanding attitude and ideology. I think that both parents need to be conscious about a goal to adopt Nonviolent Communication in raising children and then they can both serve as checks on one another. I think it is therefore very important for both parents to stay together and help raise children and help each other learn the act of Nonviolent Communication. The author does not mention his spouse anywhere in the book so I am unable to know what role the spouse might have played in the process. I agree that, violence has become so habitual that changing to Nonviolent Communication will attract some scorn and will therefore require the support of a spouse.   
 
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
 
I intend to start having a family soon and I am determined to raise children in a compassionate way. Currently, my society in the changing global world is beginning to imbibe the principles of human rights and the rights of children is taking centre stage. This change is also coming with its own challenges and the respect between parents and children is waning in some cases. I appreciate the commitment that my parents put into raising me and my siblings and this has kept us focused even now in these days of our young adulthood stage. This was one of the reasons I chose this book and I chose it in consultation with my fiancée. In future, she will be a strong pillar as we try to raise our children in a violent-free way.  
 
4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Don’t mix up that which is habitual with that which is natural.” Ghandi

This quote highlights how much of a fallacy I commit and when I reason that my way of life and that of my society, is the natural way of life. In most cases, the so-called anomalies I refer to are other people’s habitual way of life.
 
5.  Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?
 
The author does not mention his spouse anywhere in the book so I am unable to know what role the spouse might have played in the process. I believe that the spouse can play a very big role in providing the supportive community that helps to check him on how to implement compassionate child-raising. I presume however, that he was a single parent at the time of writing.
 
6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

No. There were no exercises

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

I think that the author did well to write from his own experiences. I think such experience-based stories make the issues very practical and understandable. It is a very good book.

 

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read?                          8
B. How helpful were the contents?                         8
C. How easy was it to understand?                         9
D. Would you recommend it to others?                   9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it?     9

Be a People Person

Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book? 

 The writer of the book is someone from a Christian background and who is trying to explain how the Christian principles can be used to make people likeable. It employs the author’s own experiences and draws on very important scenarios that illustrate the focus of the writer. There is a great mix of values that can be used to make people open and accessible to anyone. The book is profound in ultimately exposing how these values such as patience, respect for others, trust and the positive mental attitude can become a very good ingredient for developing a pleasant personality that can also translate into effective leadership. John Maxwell tries to make the point that the creation of the right attitude and the development of the right values, does not just favor the one on the receiving end, but the giver as well. 

 2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important toUse personal examples from your own life.

i. Do not take advantage of people

When I was growing, sometimes I wondered why many job owners were always abusing their workers. Not so long ago, I read this adage from somewhere that “be kind to everyone you meet, for everyone you meet is fighting hard battle”. It made me realize that exploitation could pass to be one of the worst crimes of all time. We used to live close to a man who had laborers working for him and he had a lot of cars, was marrying and flirting with many women but failed to pay his workers on time. He was fond of going to functions and making huge donations to promote his image and business, but he never cared to make sure his workers were paid on time. At a point in time one of his mid-level workers who was in charge of collecting monies owed him, absconded with the monies collected. This was a bad development, and the worker was not justified but it also underscores how people can begin to develop negative ideas when they feel that their bosses are not treating them well. I fear what will become of this man and his business, when the majority of his workers begin to device negative means of taking back their due. I have always tried to make sure I give credit to those who share ideas with me, or help me improve anything that makes me get credit. When I am sharing online, I try to acknowledge their input and make them aware. I believe that it takes nothing away from me and it rather encourages my friends from whom I got those ideas to further give their support in future.   I believe that this particular mind set has embedded in it the other issues raised by John Maxwell in this book.

ii. Confidence is Contagious

The story that the author uses is very interesting in that it portrays how a little kid, 6-years old, could hold in check elderly people who by far are older. When I read this, I was beginning to picture how such a child would be standing by the door in a bossy mood, shouting out the orders. As hilarious as it may seem, I find that confidence determines most things. When I was doing my undergraduate studies students were required to defend the results of their research in the final year. We had been told that the key thing is confidence. As I remember one of our lecturers saying then: “you have done your own work. All we are here to find out is what you came up with and what it means for those of us in academia”. As a student, I did not fully appreciate how that influenced the panel who sat to vet the defense. But 2 year after graduating and beginning to sit in these panels as a senior research assistant, I see how that affects the panel. Most of the students who appeared before us exuding confidence scored high marks by virtue of their ability to convey their message with clarity. In the course of this exercise I realized that effective preparation was key to the confidence of some of the students. It is true that some of them were confident by default, but many of the students who I thought were crowd-shy, actually did a good job, because as their supervisors told the panel later; these students were serious during the course of the research project. They knew their content and this contributed to their confidence. 

  

iii. People don’t buy newspapers, they buy news. They don’t buy glasses, they buy vision. They don’t buy cosmetics, they buy good looks.

I find these statements very interesting and true. Many times, when I have spent my money on food, it’s not the food but the nutrition or the taste. I think that such understanding will make me be in a better position to evaluate what I spend my money on and to know whether I am getting value for money. Secondly, as someone who is on the road to becoming a public figure, and academician, or a society changer, I am reminded that when people come to me, it is not me they actually come for but what my personality can offer: love, comfort, respect, and advice. Understanding this will make me see myself more as a service provider than a commodity. I believe that this is also helpful because it will keep urging and motivating me to continue to develop myself, improve my services for the benefit of those who seek them in me.  I remember that some few year ago, one of the top restaurants in the capital city of Ghana had a hug patronage due to the unique taste of food they provided. Over a period of time, they lowered their standards because they were comfortable with their popularity and profit. Now with increasing competition, they are being shunned by most people. I remember the last time I tried visiting the place with a friend, we realized that the place was half full. So the message is clear, people were not going there because of the name nor the place, they were going there because of the service.     

iv. Shepherding/mentorship is critical.

  

I believe that the author was able to effectively use the biblical scenario to illustrate the essence of mentorship. I have always read the passage brought up here and the stories that have been cited about Samuel and Eli. I however did not identify any possible effect that Eli’s mentoring might have had on Samuel’s own raising of his household. As someone who continues to mentor others and also seeking to get more mentors in my life, I think that it is important that this endeavor is taking seriously. On social media, I remember that a friend had shared a comment that the youth need to be groomed and was trying to make the point that when the youth are groomed, everything will be fine with our society. But I was of a different view that just grooming was not to be the priority, my view was that the right type of grooming should rather be the preoccupation. Many leaders in our world have been groomed, but not all of them have been groomed for the right purpose. Many of them have been groomed for the wrong reasons.  

v. Being aware of my weaknesses

I think that human nature make people see the positives about themselves and this makes this a very difficult practice. As I speak I know that I have certain weaknesses, but I am not convinced that I have realized all of them.  I agree that it is very difficult to find someone who has no weakness and that it is normal to admit such weakness. There is an important link that John Maxwell creates with how weaknesses can be used as a platform for temptation. What has happened to me over the years is that, despite how much I try to work on my weaknesses, it seems to me that I eventually seem to accept them as weaknesses, making it very difficult for me to overcome them. What I usually end up with is the feeling that everyone has a weakness so maybe it’s not wrong after all for me to have one. My point is, sometimes, realizing your weaknesses becomes a hindrance to overcoming them.  

vi. Most of the time, a simple, firm no is the best medicine.

I must admit that this is really difficult to do. Especially for someone you love, such as a wife good friend or other relative. The answer “no” is mostly construed to mean that you do not care. But at least this particular scenario makes it clear that at certain times, saying “no” with the strongest conviction and good judgment is best. There are many times that I have had to say “no” to my girlfriend and have later felt sorry about it because of the possible connotation of lack of care. I understand that, John Maxwell was citing this in the instance of “The User” but I believe that at certain instances people play “The User” card to get things out of you and saying “no” could save the situation, not for just yourself, but sometimes for the other person.

  

vii. Look beyond the criticism and see the critic.

  

What a way to deal with criticism as recommended by John, Maxwell. As a leader myself, I agree that one of the things that we have to contend with is criticism. But I think that the difficulty with dealing with criticism, however they may come, is half solved by what the author explains. In graduate school, we learned in mediation class that there is a rational for every conflict. This rational is based on what the actors or protagonists perceive. Seeing beyond the conflict to see the “conflictors” is one of the keys to mediation. And of course, the author illustrates that well here.     

 3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

I want to grow up to become a leader. In my quest to lead, I will be responsible for putting myself in check to make my acts and ideas appealing to the people who meet me and work with me. It becomes important for me to use those pleasant attributes mentioned in the book for this purpose. I have always tried to share the ideas I get, and most of the issues here will be shared on my blog and social media pages. The exercises are specific, helpful and the lessons are easy to link to life.

 4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

I will highlight quotes that are in the chapters:

Confidence is contagious, even if it is the confidence of a 6-year old.”

Ultimately, we are responsible for the effects of our actions and we create our world. In the same sense, leaders should be ultimately responsible for the results of their groups or organizations.

“A leader is one who can make other people do something that they don’t want to do and like it.” President Harry Truman

The concept of leadership has been a key thing for me. In March, I was shortlisted for interviews to be selected into the Young African Leaders Initiative organized by the United States government. At that interview, the panel asked me what I thought of leadership. My answer echoed one of the lessons I have learned in this IIGL program: “A leader is someone who can create a template that will not require a genius to continue”. I think this is from the book “Leadership for Dummies.” 

“A goal is a dream with a deadline.”

After one of our model UN conferences, one of the delegates approached me to mentor her. My first reaction was to let her send me, by email, the specific objectives or goals that she would want to have achieved after the mentorship. As I expected, she sent me a list of 10 fanciful dreams that she hoped to have achieved, but critically missing was any timeline. I sent her a reply, telling her that the goals were not Smart enough, remembering my own lesson on Goals in this IIGL series. So as it has been pointed out in this book, she had many dreams but no deadlineand many of us commit that error

 5Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No. The issues were simple enough to be understood.            

 6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book had a lot of exercises at the end of each chapter. The further reading list provided I believe could also be helpful going into the future, I must admit, some of them have already been read in the course of this program.

 7.  Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

Yes. I think that the author should have gone further with what knowing the critic, could be used for in dealing with criticism. The author makes a strong point for the reason behind knowing the critic but fell short of explaining how subsequent steps can be taken with that information.    

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read?                              10
B.  How helpful were the contents?                             9
C.  How easy was it to understand?                             9
D. Would you recommend it to others?                       10
E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?        9

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters

Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

1.  What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

Difficult conversions lives up to its name by targeting the difficult issues that come up during conversations. The authors employ very interesting scenarios to bring to light how their experiences teach them the navigation through conversation. How do we ask the thorny questions, how do we give the candid but difficult answers, how do we initiate and end conversations in a less hostile manner? Moreover, how do we focus on substance rather than dwelling on peripheral matters in conversation? How do we move away from a confrontation, unscathed?  How do we use the three parts of conversation effectively? I believe that these are the questions that I found answers to through my reading.    

 2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important toUse personal examples from your own life.

i. Getting the three parts of a conversation. The “what happened,” the “feelings” and the “identity” conversations.

These are very helpful concepts that I learned from this book. I have learned, before reading this book, that there are the overt and covert aspects of conversations. What is said and what is not said. But the extra dimension that this book gives to what is not said, is very true and fascinating. The biggest aspect there is how the identity concept is decoupled from the feeling concept. When I was reading this section, I asked myself, a few questions about how my identity possibly affected my conversations. Casting my mind back into some of the conversations that I had with friends, and loved ones points out how the facts on this come out clear. On one such occasion, I was talking to my fiancée about a project she wanted us to get started. I approached the conversation in a way that suggested that she was being too adventurous and less-critical about taking risks. But looking back with hindsight and with this new knowledge, I could clearly see how my own identity of someone who did not like moving out of my comfort zone influenced the way I saw her proposal. For me, the identity conversations, probably are the precursors to the other two. I would even suggest they are referred to as the “temperament conversations”; because I believe temperaments determine identity.    

ii. “The And Stance”

One of the most critical lessons for me in this chapter is the “and stance”. I feel strongly about it because it gives a less conflictual remedy for delivering bad news without being judgmental, or making the other person feel dejected. In my line of duty, there are many instances when I have or will have to deliver bad news. For instance to tell a student he/she has failed, to tell a friend I am disappointed in their actions or to tell a colleague I can’t help out with a particular event.      

iii. Blame vs contribution

I find this chapter very interesting and the issues raised there are as practical as they are explained there. I know of blame, but contribution is a new term for me. When I read through the contribution concept, I recognized that in many cases I had resorted to blame than contribution. One time, one of our colleagues was travelling out of the country and failed to let me know even though I had placed him and his contact as a key aspect of a project we were running. I only got to know that from another friend who got to know. I was deeply hurt that my colleague could plan leaving the country without letting me know about it when especially he knew that he was on the project. I called him and vented my displeasure at him, accusing him of caring less about the project. That was the blame frame. Moving out of that frame however today, I realize that, I had not had enough communication with him. If my other friend could get information from him, then I could have found out as well. Secondly, listening to his needs, he told me things were not yet finalized and he was waiting to get final confirmation before informing me. It would have been helpful if he had mentioned earlier, put I guess I should have understood his difficulties as well.   

iv. Expressing Feelings in conversation

So carrying on from the story I described in the previous text, I realize that what I was really feeling was that of betrayal and worry that my colleague’s absence was going to create a hole in the organizational and communication channel and could result in failure of the project. So I asked myself how I could have made the conversation in a different way. This is where I find the “I feel” phrase very helpful. I tried using that in practice and it seems that anytime the word feel comes out I am forced to identify the feelings and that sometimes meant that I had to pause and think about the feelings itself. I don’t know whether after some time of practice, this was going to come more spontaneously, but at least I think it becomes a good basis for me to start my “non-violent” way of sharing feelings (which is what matters most, as described by the authors)  

v. Putting it all together

This particular chapter was very practical for me because it put together all the lessons learnt in the course of earlier chapters. The scenario chosen also looks very much like the one I have with a friend with whom I had some misunderstanding over the way he was doing things at one of our projects. Well, he felt bad about it and felt that he wanted to go away and be on his own since he thinks I did not trust him and did not treat him well. I also felt that, he was not fully truthful to me and did not respect my authority. He wrote me a mail telling how disappointed he was, I called him to let him know that I was also not happy about what he did and that he should have realized that I was right in reacting because of what our boss was saying. I see now it was all a blame game and we did not have the opportunity to use contribution. I look forward to using the lessons in this book to mend our working relationship because it has stalled ever since. He is not close for us to have a face to face chat, but I wonder if talking over the phone will be helpful and would have the same effect as described in the scenario used in this chapter.    

vi. When dealing with bosses you can use the “language of request” rather than the language of contribution

This is another interesting area that affects some of my activities. I have a couple supervisors in various fields who are sometimes difficult to deal with and make it difficult for you to push through any new ideas or changes. Sometimes they give me the free will to operate but at the same time some do not contribute the needed urge to get the job fully executed. What results is that we are unable to finish started projects because the strings that the boss is supposed to pull have not been done; and there seems to be a lot of inertia on his part to do so.

vii. Email isn’t dialogue; it’s serial monologue

Very interesting concept here. I never thought of it this way. Meanwhile, chats may be more effective ways but I guess they are also monologues. What I understand here is that dialogues are able to attract fluidity and accommodate feelings. Probably, this is the reason, you can broker some deals through face to face dialogue in a way that emails can’t. In an increasingly distant world. I feel that this faceless conversation is becoming greater and greater.  

  

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

I have come to appreciate human relations more than anything else. I believe that this could stir up some changes in my attitude to conversation.

 4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

The quotes below run through the whole book and the reasons they caught my attention have been addressed in the seven main points discussed above.

“Delivering a difficult message is like throwing a hand grenade; and there is no such thing as a diplomatic hand grenade.”

 “Difficult conversations are almost never about what is right or wrong. They mostly about conflicting perceptions, interpretations and values.”

What I think about ones intentions will influence how our conversations go.

“Emotions/feelings are not just a noisy by-product of conflict, they are actually at the core of conflict.” 

“People almost never change until they feel understood.

Two important reasons why we interpret things differently is because

  1. Our past experiences
  2. The implicit rules we’ve learned about how things are and how things should be.”

“The and stance is not all about merging views, could also mean dismantling both views to understand each other.”   

“The conversation between two clerics: you can do God’s work your way and I will do God’s work His way.”

“The is probably the one to take when delivering bad news.”

“We assume intentions based on the impacts of the actions on us.”

“When we get intentions wrong, it can lead us to paint wrong characters based on those judgments.”

“Good intentions don’t sanitize bad impact.”

“Differentiate blame from contribution. As a rule, when things go wrong in human relationships, everyone has contributed in some important way.”  

“The two hardest and most important communication tasks in difficult conversation are expressing feelings and listening.”

“Judgments feel like feelings when we are saying them.”

“Our feelings are based on our perceptions; and our perceptions are negotiable.

“Evaluation-free feelings can be shared in:”

Sharing pure feelings without judgments

Saving problem-solving till later,

Not monopolizing

“Starting sentences with could be the key to expressing emotions in conversation “

“No one is always anything.”

“If we adopt the all-or-nothing stance, then we even find it difficult to admit simple mistakes and we become over defensive.”

“Letting go doesn’t mean I no longer care.”

“Begin with a third story (the one a third party without stakes in the case would narrate.”

“Starting a difficult conversation means, defining the purpose, sending an invitation and making the other party a partner in figuring the issue out.”

“The three conversations: third story, their story, your story.”  

“Don’t make statements disguised as questions.”

“Empathy is a journey, not a destination. The deepest form of understanding another person is empathy.”

“Problem solving includes 3 aspects; reframing, listening, and naming the dynamic. Reframing is turning blame into contribution “

“You can’t move the conversation any further until the other person feels heard and understood.”

“It takes two to agree.”

“The power of Influence Rather than the Power of Control. The power of influence is the ability to affect someone’s thinking to your side and the power of control is to get people to your side unilaterally, against their will.”

  

“Anything you write during a conflict can be taken the wrong way (in faceless conversations.”

 5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

There was an issue I raised about a strained relationship which I wanted to mend. But reading chapter 12 makes me decide that I would try to use face-to-face conversation instead of the phone or email conversation. 

 6.  Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

There was no clear exercise but I think the dialogue scenario in chapter 12 was very helpful.

 7.  Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

No. I have covered all of such issues in the earlier part of this assessment.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read?                              9
B.  How helpful were the contents?                            10
C.  How easy was it to understand?                             9
D. Would you recommend it to others?                     10
E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?       10

Interventions: A Life in War and Peace

Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

1.  What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book is a great insight for anyone who aspires to become a high level diplomat. It gives a vivid account of Kofi Annan’s exploits in the United Nations as a staff, as leader of the organization and his experiences and exploits. It spans his entire career and addresses some of the controversial issues that heralded his dealings with nations and the work he was entrusted with.

 2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

Kofi Annan gives a good background to his growing up and ends with how he eventually decided to work outside his country (Ghana). I have taken serious notice of his ability to keep to his goal and reject offers which he thought were not in his best interest. It inspires me because as I graduated from my laboratory studies in Ghana, I was torn between staying in academia and going into the laboratory. I decided to stay in Academia because I thought that it gave the room for me to develop other potentials alongside work. This is something that I continue to struggle with today, especially when the financial remuneration in academic not as high as what is given on the field. But like Annan, I am resolved that my goal should be paramount and should be the driving force behind most of my decisions with work and education. Mr. Annan, also shared an interesting insight which I think helps me to understand Ghana’s history. When he says that the Ashantis did not feel so much the inferiority tag as the coasters during the colonial days, it makes me understand why the UGCC was very different in ideology from the CPP of Kwame Nkrumah.

In this Chapter, Kofi Anan gives insight on why the UN is challenged in the area of peace-keeping. He mentions that UN is always a candidate to blame for failed peace-keeping missions but little is said about its limited resources, reluctance of troop-contributing countries and divisions in policy among the Security Council membership, especially the P5. The most interesting aspect for me is the encounter the DPKO had with Commander Dallaire. It is interesting how an individual’s principles can be shelved by the collective or institutional protocols and standards. In my own life there are times when I cannot take certain actions because the organization I work with has some regulations or protocols. I reckon that in times when this has implications for life and death, like in Gen. Dallaire’s case, it can be traumatizing.   

Kofi Annan, gives a rendition of how situations in Kosovo, Rwanda, East Timor and Darfur, changed the way he viewed the UN’s mandate and how that motivated him to spur on the campaign for the UN’s responsibility to protect. For him, there is limit to what shield sovereignty could provide for governments in light of gross human rights violations. Another lesson for me involves how Kofi Annan, was able to use tact in dealing with leaders like those in Indonesia and his frustration at how countries could focus so much on semantics to the detriment of victims in a remote land like Somalia. I admire his energy and the fact that he was able to bring some robustness in the thinking of member states. Being the son of an ex-military personnel in the Ghana army who himself had to serve on peacekeeping missions, I believe that robust peacekeeping was a necessity for the UN in order to maintain the interest of troop-contributing countries.      

d. Chapter 4

This chapter was focussed on many of the reforms the heralded the era of Kofi Annan. What intrigues me the most is how he used the previous circumstances and experiences of the UN to convince others that there was a need for reform. Of course, he could not see them all through but it only points to the fact that, work with institutions is one of the most difficult processes in a rational, calculating world.   

e. Chapter 5

The interesting sections of this chapter for me was the personal experiences in negotiation the author shared. Annan shied away from proposing his conclusive recommendation for the way forward in the post-election negotiation in Kenya and decided that he was going to lay all the options; re-tally, recount, and forensic audit and power sharing before the parties. At the end they themselves came to the conclusion that power sharing was going to be the most feasible option. Annan’s introduction of the German minister was also very tactical in my view. Additionally, the immediate signing of the power-sharing deal between Kibaki and Odinga reinforces what I have learned in mediation that, agreements are supposed to be signed immediately to avoid track back.   

In my own endeavours as a Model UN participant, I have been involved with the discussions of the United Nations MDGs and the ability of countries to achieve them. In 2009, I got the opportunity to work on a UN Model UN project and some of the issues that came to the fore was the need to reduce military spending. I have realized that development in the developing world was heavily based on donations from the developed world. However, there is a lot of focus by these countries on the military spending. An example that was cited in Annan’s book was that the Somalia peace-keeping had a budget of 1.5 billion dollars for military spending (which was met) but 150 million dollars for development-related (which was difficult to fully meet). Clearly, the focus of countries (developed) were much more on military-security that human security, this is especially so because of the 9/11 attacks.

Secondly, I remember that in my development class, I was one of those who argued for the negative impact that globalization had on development in developing world. As Annan rightly noted in his book, there was the belief that globalization was going to lift boats (reduce poverty) but the reverse rather happened. I have also held the view that as it stands today, the problem of global trade makes it difficult for countries in the developing world to breakthrough with trade. Current happenings in West-Africa such as the Economic Partnership agreement between the EU and ECOWAS, threaten to kill indigenous enterprises.  

 g. Chapter 8: The Wars of 9/11

One of the touching stories for me was the point when Kofi Annan was targeted during the oil-for-food scandal which involved the UN. The lessons I learned from this recount was the role his friends played in these trying times. Interestingly, some of the people who empathized with him went to a great extent to share with him some messages of encouragement. I remember during my own difficult times when I lost my Dad in 2012, I realized that having people to share in the grief was very helpful in calming my nerves and composing myself to take most of the steps that I took during those times. Kofi Annan, had even world leaders sticking their neck out to support him in the face of antagonism from very strong influence in a super power country like the USA. This only sends me a message that, whilst we may be criticized for taking the hard decisions that affect other people’s feelings, when it comes to times for them to vouch for your integrity they would remember your fairness and responsibility. Sometimes, in difficult times, sharing light-hearted comments could help heal the damage and Kofi Annan, acknowledged one such instance. In Ghana over the past year, we have been able to keep our cohesion in the country despite the economic hardships probably because Ghanaians are quick to make jokes out of serious situations, which probably help us to contain their impact.  

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

At many times, my friends make the comment that they look forward to see me as the Secretary-General of the United Nations one day. My response is that, “I hope to, when my preparation meets the time for sub-Saharan Africa to nominate yet another candidate. As I have already mentioned earlier, my career ambition is to end up as a top technocrat in a multinational agency such as the Unite Nations, African Union or similar agencies. I believe that the UN as the biggest world political agency is a fine template that when understood can help me understand the issues at the core of global problems. I am involved with organizing Model UN conferences for youth and such knowledge is invaluable to my work. Some the lessons learned in conflict resolution and mediation in this book will help me deal with my own thesis that I am writing on the dynamics of ethnic conflict in Ghana. 

4.Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“There is a limit to what can be achieved through the use of force. Of course, otherwise I believe the war on terrorism would have been successful by now. Despite all the bombing that the US and its allies carried, out, the world is more in awe of terror than before 9/11.”

“There are times when the use of force is legitimate in the pursuit of happiness.”

This statement reminds me of some of the lessons that were drawn from my earlier reading of the books on Non-violent Communication and Raising Children Compassionately that sometimes, you need to use punishment to protect your child and save you from further trouble going forward. Sometimes, the UN needs to be stern to preserve its success with diplomacy.  

“We watch CNN too you know.”

A Rwandan official referring to how they intended to take a cue from the Somalis in using a few deaths to cause withdrawal of troops. This is a matter of growing concern for me too. Our media shows a lot of things uncensored to the extent that it jeopardizes military and police operations. In Ghana, sometimes the media in their attempt create confidence of the people in our security agencies have given out sensitive information to perpetrators of crime.    

“Kofi Annan recounts how many governments lamented the scale of killings in Rwanda but none was willing to commit troops to it.”

My lesson here is that many people complain but very few care to act to solve the problem.

“Intervention was a cause for everyone and one not limited by any means to the use of military force.”

It’s a good way to explain intervention. The use of the word usually denotes force and military action and this gives me a varied understanding.  

“At critical times, Kofi Annan, gave deadlines to force leaders to act. At certain times he moved beyond private to public diplomacy, using the press to put pressure on Indonesia.”

These are very helpful tips for me in my dealing with people.  

“The success of the UN should not be counted in the number of military or economic interventions but through the number of lives saved.”   

 “If the collective conscience of humanity cannot find in the UN its greatest tribune, there is a grave damage that it will look elsewhere for peace and justice.”

This gave birth to the report on “the responsibility to protect.” Annan was right because, today, many countries keep threatening that unless the UN was seen as a fair arbiter, they will not pay respect to their obligations under the charter. 

“The problem of African political failures is as a result of the externally introduced structures during colonialism.”

Yes. And I have always maintained that, Africa is like this because we suffered a retrogressive, victimizing treatment from our colonial masters. And sadly, our leadership have inherited these traits.

“Those whom you ignore, will come to ignore you.”

It re-enforces that people treat you the way you treat them. My students have cultivated a particularly formal culture of communicating with me on academic terms, because I always keep it that way. 

“The signing of the power.”

Sharing deal between Kibaki and Odinga almost immediately reinforces what I have learned in mediation that, agreements are supposed to be signed immediately to avoid track back.

“Kofi Annan explains that in his mediation of the Lebanon, Syria and Israel, even though he had been successful with the withdrawal of Israel, all sides were not happy but respected the decision.”

For me this is sometimes the characteristic of mediation that mediators would have to deal with.

“He had to risk failure in order to succeed.”

Risk-taking is something that I really need to learn.

Swahili Proverb: “You cannot turn the wind so turn the sail.” If I cannot turn things my way, I need to reposition myself to access and appreciate opportunities.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

Kofi Annan was able to use the power sharing deal to broker peace in Kenya after their election dispute. I have been averse to power sharing deals because I believe that it serves as an incentive for losing candidates to create mayhem in order to get a share of power. Over the past years in Africa and in Ghana, these arguments have come up and I believe that this model of appeasement if not properly applied will become the incentive for electoral disputes, especially across Africa.    

 6.Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

No.

 7. was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

None

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read?                             10
B. How helpful were the contents?                             9
C. How easy was it to understand?                             9
D. Would you recommend it to others?                     10
E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?      10

The Parliament of Man: The Past, Present and Future of the United Nations

Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

1.  What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book give a good account of the history of the UN, the challenges it faced in the formative years and the current reforms that may be needed to still stay relevant in the 21st century.  

  

 2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important toUse personal examples from your own life.

It is a very interesting chapter that gives great insight into how countries act, their rationale and how interesting they seem to behave like individual beings. The author explains the series of actions and inactions of states that form the League of Nations and how that culminated in the collapse of the League. Thinking deeply about such events, it only makes me start asking questions about how the United Nations today is fashioned to withstand such shocks. This is especially because, through the lens of this book, I begin to notice these cracks also springing up as challenges for today’s UN. The annexing of territories by big powers, the extension of borders by richer countries that invariably robs poorer countries of their sovereignty to take their own decision. My diagnosis is that, what happened before the collapse of the League of Nations is happening today, the only difference is that today this is happening in a softer sense. These aggressions are being waged through economic and political manoeuvring rather than through military might.    

This chapter makes a very revealing analogy of how much work the UN had to do and how less resourced it is to carry out this kind of action. In the first year of my postgraduate studies, I had had the opportunity to study Rwandan genocide and why it happened but this is the first time that I have looked at this genocide and other brutalities through the lenses of the Security Council as well as the Secretariat. What comes to mind quickly is the role that countries’ interests play in whether or not the UN moves to swift action. A mention of Iraq, and Kuwait only emphasizes the point made by the author that, it becomes increasingly difficult for the UN to restrain a superpower from going ahead with a unilateral decision. Today, we have China, Russia adding up to the USA on such unilateral actions. My question remains: is a 3rd world war avoidable under our current circumstances?

This chapter throws light on the second objective of the UN: to promote economic development. It is interesting to realise that despite the south-north cooperation that is targeted under this leg of the UN, the Bretton Woods institutions do not have fair representation in decision-making. I also took particular notice of the fact that, unlike in the area of peace and security, the economic exploits of the UN were given an open ground and operated under cooperation. Well, clearly, the 1945 disparities in economic modules influenced this. But I still think that, revisions are needed in the structure of financial institutions now especially because new economies and new economic modules are emanating. Moreover, I see that regional donors are beginning to wade into partnerships (such as the EU’s Economic Partnership Agreement with ECOWAS) that even though may be inimical to the growth of the latter, they are not able to resist because of the current global dynamics.  

d. Chapter 5 – “Soft Agenda”

This chapter looked at the “soft-agenda” of the United Nations which includes social and cultural issues. It explains that there have been a lot of agencies with overlapping focus in this area but this is probably because there was no clear cut agency in charge per the Charter. I agree with the concluding remarks in that Chapter that: “at the time the Charter was being drawn about 2 billion people were being catered for, today we have 7 billion and it will be difficult to anticipate no challenges and more so think about what it will mean if these agencies never existed. Maybe this is why the UN is being criticized, that a world body with 1945 structures is being assessed through 2014 criteria.  

e. Chapter 6 – Universalisation of Human Rights

This chapter probes into the Human Rights issue. Clearly, the Universalisation of Human Rights was not going to come without contention from world powers who had their own history and ideologies. What I find interesting is that despite the public show of concern, states continued to work against the total freedoms behind closed doors. Truly, the surge of the media has come in to make such impunity in causing atrocities, a thing of the past. In my own country, Ghana is enjoying huge media freedom and we have begun unearthing scandals on daily basis. This is really a new age for transparency. What I fear however, is that, there is still no accountability.   

Today, the challenges faced by the UN makes the talk about reforms very important. Among the reforms pushed for and written about in this book include: the idea of a third chamber aside the GA and SC where states elect their representatives to sit and deliberate as a world parliament.  Some of the other reforms include increase SC permanent and non-permanent membership, revitalize the GA, resuscitate the Trusteeship council as a steward of Global Commons, and replace the ECOSOC with Economic Security Council, Establish a permanent UN Volunteer Force. (Eg. Richard Andrew Strauss; Foreign Affairs, 2001) others include, George Monbiot, who argues that the UN should be made up of a parliament of 600 reps who each represent 10 million people. Reforms are very critical to the UN’s survival in the 21st century. My question is this: will member states be able to embrace the needed reforms in the UN?

UN reform is used in three different ways today:

The clean out the stables Approach : cut down on expenditure, through staff  and agency cuts (this could be weakening and downsizing the UN).

Change in the constitution. The Yale-Ford foundation report in 1995 suggested 5 more permanent members of the SC, reduction in the application of the veto (for only war peace scenarios) replacing ECOSOC with Economic council and Social Council. Others call for the abolishing of the trusteeship council and yet still others call for the reduction in powers of the IMF/WB and for them to report to the GA. (but how sure we that these will succeed are?)

Those who argue a middle ground that more improvement along the way will make reforms easier in the future

As a Model UN trainer, delegates keep asking me questions about what sort of reforms I think the UN should have and I think these recommendations above come in handy.

 3.How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

My career ambition is to end up as a top technocrat in a multinational agency such as the United Nations, African Union or similar agencies. I believe that the UN as the biggest world political body is a fine template that when understood can help me understand the issues at the core of global problems. I am involved with organizing Model UN conferences for youth and such knowledge is invaluable to my work.

 4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

  

“The institution of the veto system teaches me a big lesson. State’s like individuals, are always seeking a motivation to act.”

This is why dealing with states, like dealing with people, is very complex; motivations can vary.

“A non P5 member once asked a Soviet Ambassador how they could differentiate between a procedural and non-procedural issue and the answer was; We shall tell you.”

It is always a huge interest to me to know what sorts of discussions go on at the UN, when diplomats meet. Such statement only make me see that, diplomats are just like any of us, with attitude and emotions.

“Article 51 of the UN Charter seems to have a contradiction. It gives member states the right to self-defence whilst still placing it in consonance with SC guidance.”

What it does not address is what the limits of self-defence are; like the issue of pre-emptive action with the Second Iraq war. I believe this is why the US and recently, Russia has been able to carry out unilateral action without consequences.  

Harry Truman in San Francisco: “This new structure of peace is rising upon strong foundations.  Let us not fail to grasp the supreme chance to establish a worldwide rule of reason-to create an enduring peace under the guidance of God.”

Dwight Eisenhower: “With all the defects, with all the failures that we can check up against the UN, it still remains man’s best organised hope to substitute the conference table for the battlefield.”  

These quotes are important to me because as I have come to be convinced that No doubt, the UN has not been able to live up to its full expectations. But I think that the world would definitely have been worse without it. We must make it work.

 “It’s interesting to note that, Japan and Germany are referred to as “enemy state” under article 53 of the charter. But became the 2nd and 3rd largest contributors to UN budget.”

I wonder why I never hear these countries make a lot of noise about this. And maybe they do not see it as a big deal either.

  

“There was an argument made by US Senator Robert Taft that, if the bank’s debtors could not repay borrowed money no matter how much time they had tried.”

Will there not be the problem of the bank becoming a permanent money transfer agency. And will that not generate sustainability issues? Will that not make the bank a mistake? I am also beginning to think so today. He seems to be vindicated looking at the way the IMF/WB work today with developing countries.

  

“International transaction could be levied to fund the UN since businesses thrived on global peace.”

I agree. Businesses are making a lot of money these days and their operations impact the environment; something the UN is trying to work on. So, they should all feel part of it.

My concern for world peace is heightened when I realise that the precursors of the fall of the League of Nations seem to be rearing their heads in contemporary times under the UN. My dilemma is whether the UN can prevent a third world war.  

 6.  Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

No.

 7.  Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

None.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read?                             7
B. How helpful were the contents?                            9
C.  How easy was it to understand?                           7
D.  Would you recommend it to others?                    9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it?        8

Conflict Analysis

Dennis

 

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book is a guide to field practitioners in peace and development work as well as those who are in the business field on how conflict risk assessments can be carried out to aid the work on the field. The book uses effective scenarios (both real and fictional) to illustrate the various methods mentioned in the book. It contains many conflict analysis sub-methods that can be used in various situations to develop conflict assessment modules. One unique feature of the book is the assemblage of worldwide programs, applications, and work-tools being used by top-flight civil society organizations for the benefit of the reader. 

                                          

 2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important toUse personal examples from your own life.

 a. Peace as a process.

The book explains that peace is not defined as the static condition of the absence of war. It is the dynamic process of managing conflicts without resort to violence. I agree with this statement. This is because I have had many instances where colleagues ask me (because I am now in peace studies) whether Ghana was at peace. My response is that, “Ghana is not at war and that is a feature of peace”. When I compare all the turbulence going on across the West-African sub region, I realise that Ghanaians have a better appreciation of the word peace. But as the book has stated it, the fact that Ghanaians may wake up to the story of a robbery, or a murder or any other crime means that violence in the Ghanaian society. But since there is always the effort usually by the security agencies to try and put these excesses under control and to serve as a check on the onset of crime, this is something that we can term a peaceful society; not necessary because there is no violence, but because they are in check and have not gotten out of control

    

 b. The 3 economic reasons of conflict.

The book explains that some economist cite three economic reasons for conflict: group inequality, private motivation and failure of social contract. As a peace and development student, I have tried to look at the various dimensions that conflicts or violence in Ghana have come about. I realize that most of the rural ethnic conflicts in Ghana have arisen because of this problem of inequality. Then as time went by, these inequalities were getting phased out but some individuals kept fanning the flames to maintain the violent status quo that ensures to their benefit. A reflection on the various coup d’états that have plagued the history of Ghana clearly point to a mixture of group inequalities with private motivations. Sometimes, with the political uprisings like demonstrations that have led to the death of activists, the breach of governments social contract with the people is a main contributor.  But I like Varshney fourth cause of conlficts which he alludes to the absence of cross-cutting bonds linking diverse identity groups together in multi-ethnic societies. Varshney explains that this is why there is the less likelihood of a conflict breakout in India, and I believe this is also the reason why Ghana has been spared the wide outbreak of ethnic conflicts. It was due to the conscious policy by the government of the first president of Ghana, Kwame Nkrumah to ensure that students from different ethnic groups lived together and studied together in boarding houses during the high school days. This is a very good example of how cross-ethnic linkages can hold together a multi-ethnic society like Ghana.     

 c. Democratic/political reforms for stability.

The book explains that some states have adopted political arrangements to minimize the winner-takes-all effect. These include: federalism, power-sharing, constraints on political power such as the veto system to certain groups. I have already written in some of my earlier assessments (Interventions by Kofi Annan) that I am averse to the introduction of a power sharing system into a country where it does not exist as a means of neutralizing agitation. But I think that the process of federalizing may be an effective way of changing the volatile political arrangement we have in Ghana. If our number may not be large enough for that, I have also realized some potency in the UK system where the Prime Minister also has the powers of government leadership. In our case, we could have a president and prime minister in order to reduce the excessive powers of the executive president. This extreme power by the president is something I am beginning to also identify as a big problem for political stability in Ghana going forward. 

  

 d. Identity-based disagreements and their role in conflict.

Identity-based disagreements can be inimical to mitigating deadly conflict. Hence the book admonishes analysts to pay attention to historical dimensions of dispute. In my current research focus on an ethnic conflict in the Volta region of Ghana, I have realized, through my literature review, the strong identity dynamics that fuel the recurrence of the conflict and that make it intractable.  What I am yet to find out in the course of my research work is another recommendation made by the author that “in dealing with traditional methods of conflict resolution, conflict analysts should not treat them as sacrosanct and should understand the dynamism that modernity brings to power-relations”. Here the author is trying to suggest a middle ground in mediating such conflicts. Since I will be dealing with the mediation processes, I will be interested in finding out what their reaction to ethnic conflict resolution processes were. I have read in other areas that, the disregard for local conflict resolution mechanisms in Somalia, led to the failure of the UN and US missions in that country. How then does modernity fit in?

 e. There 3 types of interests in conflict.

The book outlined the three types of interests at play in conflict: procedural, relationship and substantive interests. This is really new knowledge for me. I have all this while had the conceptualization of just one form of interest in conflict, which in this would become the substantive interest. However, the scenarios that the author uses, drawing in from the conflict in Gaza about how the conflicting parties shifted between the various types of interests gave me a very good understanding of the variation that exits. This new knowledge is really going to change my understanding and approach to discussions concerning mediations and dealing with interest-based negotiations.  

 f. Climate Change and the threat to peace.

Since I started delving into the realm of social sciences and the issue of peace, I have always contemplated the arguments that climate change will soon cause conflict in the world. I have not been convinced about this argument and my dilemma was even heightened by some documents and documentaries that I watched and read and that sought to explain why climate change was not a real threat to peace and security in the world. The explanation given by this book is that Climate change will not be a cause of conflict in itself but will rather be a threat multiplier. This means that climate change will be driver to conflict but not a cause. For me, this sounds more plausible than the argument that climate change will cause war. After reading this book, my view is that, climate change could be a conflict driver but will depend on the international and national mitigation conditions that we can create under such threat.

 g. Group Think and its effect on decision making

The book explains that group-think makes groups think collectively about their motivations to appraise the course of their action. This is really a wake-up call to me as someone who works with people to take decisions on behalf of my organization. It is really something that I have been awakened to and I do not know how many times my decisions and that of my organization have been misled by group think. The recommendation that I will take from the book is that this can be reversed when groups allow diverse view thinking. Hence, I will try to encourage divergent views, no matter how minor it is.  

 3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

In 2013, my experiences through the model UN program motivated me to start pursuing a Master’s Degree in Peace and development studies in line with my ambition to become an international diplomat. Critical to these studies is conflict analysis. Hence, it has become one of my prime motives to deeply understand the essence and details of the conflict analysis processes. This book will therefore be an invaluable guide for my studies and practice going forward. Secondly, my postgraduate research work this year is going to focus on ethnic conflict and again conflict analysis knowledge is very vital for this research.   

 4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“A conflict only becomes ripe for negotiation when the competing parties come to perceive themselves as suffering from it.” 

This quote makes me understand why some conflicts like the one in Gaza continue to exist. Perception is most times the most critical and this perceptions are difficult to correct. It falls in line with the psycho-cultural theory of conflict that I learned about in my first year of postgraduate class.  

“The story of Ben Sliney of the FAA on 9/11. I was very much motivated by the personal initiative of someone who spent time in his new role doing something remarkable.”  

“The SWOT analysis illustrated here is unique and simpler from what I have known over all this time.  It makes it very easy for me to understand how I could identify strengths and weaknesses, threats and opportunities. This is really a simpler version.”  

 5Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

As a practical workbook, there were a couple of questions that were outlined to help the practitioner go through the steps. I read these questions but since I am not currently on a field work, I cannot determine its practical helpfulness, even though theoretically it made the concepts clearer. Hopefully, when I become a practitioner soon, these questions will come in handy. 

 7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

No.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A.  How interesting was it to read?                           8
B.  How helpful were the contents?                          9
C.  How easy was it to understand?                           9
D.  Would you recommend it to others?                    9
E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?     9

You Just Don’t Understand: Men and Women in Conversation

Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

 1.  What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

 

The book gives a practical explanation to the differences that exist between men and women when they are in conversation. It gives an account of the various interpretations that women and men give to the words said to them. The book draws in on various research findings by the author and tries to make the point that instead of men and women being jumbled together as the same, it is better to recognize their differences and deal with them as such. Dr. Tannen argues that, dealing with women as equal to men in their conversation and communication abilities is as unfair as discrimination we fear in treating them as different people. Aside the gender disparities in communication, the author also highlights the racial and ethnic stereotypes that define how people are perceived. Finally, the author sheds some light on the various questions that she has encountered in the speaking engagements she has been invited to.       

 

  

 2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important toUse personal examples from your own life.

 

 a. Name Dropping and Alignments

 

The book presents the interesting concept of Alignment (by Ervin Goffman) which is explained as when people try to place themselves in a particular position relative to the other person. I have realized that in many instances I or my friends have used this framing to get along with people they are new to. One of my mentees was selected to travel to Japan to participate in an international youth event. Because I had already gone through the process of securing a visa at the embassy twice, he consulted and depended on me to give him to guidance to the process. The first day he visited the place he reported to me that the man (a Ghanaian) at the PR section was not very friendly. He worried that the countenance of the man suggested he might not be granted the visa. I told him that, such straight countenance was usual for such workers since they did not want to be overly involved with applicants. The second time was same, but the third time when he visited he reported (with excitement) that the man had been very friendly that day; not just because he had been granted the visa, but because the man had recognised his name as familiar one coming from his ethnic group of origin. He spoke amicably to my friend in their mother tongue and my friend reported to me that he did not expect that to happen judging from earlier instances. Just today, I went to the human resource section of my organization where I work. These areas were not familiar to me and I was weary about talking to anyone who may not be friendly. But then I met two gentlemen discussing a football match the previous weekend, I joined in and they gave me all the advice I needed concerning why I was there. I had used soccer to align myself with them.

 

 b. Identify what makes you feel good and do more of

 

On page 39 the author presented a story about a friend who did not like the fact that a female colleague was consulting her husband on matters of academic publication. As I read this story it drew a scenario to memory involving my boss who called me one day and was not happy about why some of my colleagues were not “independent” in their decision. The case was that; one of our female colleagues was supposed to lead our delegates in the discussion towards their preparation for a conference. When she was called that morning, she responded that she was going to be late because she had to run some errands for her mother. Another instance was when a colleague who was working with us for a little while, decided that he was no longer coming to the office because his mum had explained to him that his time at our office was expired and he needed to stay at home and not be so linked to the office. My boss was disappointed that as old as he was the gentleman depended on what his mum said to take decisions. I realized that the gentleman had a feminine demeanor. So I am not surprised that he felt strongly about what his mum said. As choleric as my boss was, I knew why he had problems with some of my colleagues who have the tendency to consult their parents before they take action. This usually happens with the females. And sometimes, with males who have feminine characteristics as I have explained. Now I understand why the females do that, and also why my boss does not seem to appreciate why they do that.

 

 c. Independence and Connection

 

The author explains that men are focused more on independence and see that through the eye of competition, whilst women value connection and belongings but what made the difference is the focus and the degree.  Then the author explains that boys fight lasted longer than girls fight. The meaning I make out of this is that, it is possible that conflicts in life, especially global conflicts, may still be with us and be causing more devastation because men are usually in charge of affairs of states and corporations. The male dominance in the world could probably be the reason why conflicts rage on and on and strives continue to exist from human competitions. When a careful look is taken at the various scenarios given by the book on how women tend to accommodate, one could probably make that analogy. So going forward, the anticipation is that when women begin to ascend to the helm of affairs, the world may begin to see less and less of such competition-driven conflicts. The challenge I identify however is that, this may never happen for as long as men would continue to seek leadership and women would be satisfied with being accommodative.

 

  

 d. Women seek empathy men provide information/advice

 

The author explains that men usually are unable to satisfy women’s need in communication because as women communicate their difficulties to seek empathy and confirmation of their feelings, men usually interpret this as a call to give advice for a solution. I have personally been found guilty in this belief. There are so many times when I have tried to suggest to my girlfriend to go to the hospital, call somebody who has to give her what she seeks or asked her to read something from the internet when she calls me to talk about her difficulties and ‘petty’ problems. I put the word petty in inverted commas because I now realize that tag is really my interpretation, but a very important point of connection for her. One time, she sent me a message about her phone that was given her faulty problems. My instant reaction was to send her a reply and say that, she needed to get a new phone and I was going to get her some money to help her get a new one. She said, no. She recommends that we should wait a while and this kept me wondering why she was then telling me that problem at every instance. Now I understand that she was just trying to connect with me through that report.  

 

 e. We usually don’t give women the credit they deserve

 

The author describes many scenarios that her colleagues, and sometimes herself, have not been given the credit that they deserve. I remember that when we were attending classes as part of my postgraduate studies, we had just one female lecturer. She was very friendly and liked the concept of group work. I remember that I was one of those who thought that she was probably trying to cover up for her inadequacies with class discussions and group work. Casting my mind back now, I realize that a couple of my male lecturers also used the same style but I had a different impression about their methodology. This is an example of the uneven terms of evaluation we give men and women, especially in academia. Additionally there was another female lecturer in the department who was not teaching us but participated in the departmental discussions. She was assertive and I am sure almost everyone found her to be too bossy and conceited. The author was right in explaining that, women who try to break through the male dominated sphere such as academia, with authority, may be seen as odd and unwelcome.

 

 f. Men feel honor bound to provide help; women feel honor bound to seek help

 

I was reading some parts of this book on a journey from one region to the other in Ghana. When we were close to the region of our destination, our vehicle got to a police checkpoint. The police stopped our vehicle for checks and I remember that there was a brief hold-up with us because our driver had some faults with his vehicle. There was a man who seemed to know the policeman by the roadside (apparently a security man himself). He got out to speak to some of them and soon we were on our way. It was clear that he had helped in getting us moving again without any further delay. The women were profusely thanking him and I don’t remember any of the men saying thank you, except the driver who asked that his fare be refunded. It points to what Dr. Tannen raised in the book. Out of competition, men would rarely say thank you or apologize to another man. Worse; men will not even ask if they need help. But women will show gratitude and make their helpers feel that they have benefitted from their generosity. 

 

 g. The fact that women consult to act could make them better managers

 

Women may be better at management. I believe they can be good human resource heads. I say this because, it is probably in this area of management that you need the sense of connection that women try to get. The staff of an institution needs to feel that they are cared for, listened to and included in matters of operation. I am however not sure that these virtues may make them suitable at the apex of management of high risk businesses. In such apex positions however, it could be a care organization, such as an orphanage or educational institution. My thoughts are that, we need both the hot-headed virtues of the men and the accommodative virtues of the women.   

 

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

 

I am confident that these lessons learned from this book will help me in my human relations in work and private life. Just this morning, I was talking to a colleague (male) in the office and I was able to diagnose that he had many females in his home. He was surprised and asked how I was able to know. Then I told him the secret was in a book I had just read. So I think that this will help me know how to understand people effectively. More so, this is going to be a very helpful knowledge for me in my relationship with my fiancée and even when we get married. This is very important for me and I am grateful I have been able to identify these differences in the way we communicate. 

 

 4.  Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

 

  

 

 Tom Whittakker says: “You can’t feel sympathetic for someone you admire.”

 

I disagree with this because sometimes I have been sympathetic to my bosses. Some of them have long distance relationships (even married) and have to put in extra effort to make them work, especially to get their children to feel their presence. They discuss them with me, and as an unmarried man, I empathize with them, despite I admire their position in the department.

 

“The likelihood that individuals will tend to interpret someone else’s words as one or the other depends more on the hearer’s own focus , concerns and habits than on the spirit in which the words were intended.”

 

I agree with this position. It reinforces what I had read earlier about the feelings conversation in the book titled “Difficult Conversations” by Douglas StoneSince my reading of that book, I have come to understand that, the feelings of people at the time we make certain statements has a very significant bearing on the meaning they ascribe to the statement made.

 

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

 

Alice Walker: “Even though people claim they fall in love because of sexual attraction. They actually do because they have somebody who listens and understands.” I do not fully agree with what is said here. I am sure that people fall in love with or for varied reasons. Beauty and looks could be one of them and I agree that a sense of belonging could be another. Secondly, if Alice Walker is referring to falling in love largely from the feminine perspective, then she is probably largely right, but I am not sure she would get a handsome percentage of men falling in love solely because they have found someone who listens to them. Looks matter greatly to men.   

 

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

 

No. But I think that the scenarios used were very helpful for me to have practical understanding of the issues raised.

 

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

 

The author mentioned in the afterword that many of the people who engaged her in here speaking appointments and talk shows, considered that she was trying to argue against men’s analogy of women’s stance as dependent, and in doing so she seemed to be trying to hold brief for women.  I also seem to get the same impression. Most of the arguments she made seem to suggest that men were “misconstruing” women. I do not know whether this is because I am looking at it from the man’s perspective and also because I may have felt guilty of many of the issues raised in the book.

 

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read?                             9
B. How helpful were the contents?                            10
C. How easy was it to understand?                            8
D. Would you recommend it to others?                     10
E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?
      9.5

Messi; The Inside Story of a Boy who became a Legend
Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?
 
The book takes an in-depth look into the personal and professional life of Lionel Messi, the great Barcelona football star from Argentina who faced medical challenges in early life but was able to shake off that difficulty to win four Ballon D’ors in a row to arguably be considered as the best footballer ever. The book tries to present the trajectory of Leo from humble beginnings of a small boy in a cottage to a professional worth millions of dollars. The book highlights Leo’s humility, diligence and quest for success as the overriding factors for his success. The author, a sports journalist is able to combine a series of interviews with people with significant knowledge of Messi’s life with commentaries from football matches and a final Q & A with Messi himself to illustrate how football becomes just one aspect of the story of Messi.    
    
2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.
 
a. Natural talent does not guarantee success; family and environment is important in a footballer’s success.

Just a day ago, I watched a football match with a friend. The football match involved Ghana and South Africa and we were not satisfied with the performance with the Black Stars of Ghana. In my conversation with the friend, we lamented why so many football talents in Ghana were not yet identified and included in our team even though we were confident there were many of those talents in the grassroots soccer leagues in Ghana. The answer is in this quote of the book. Messi had the talent, but also had the grandma who introduced him to it and the dad to keep him on track. I also have a similar experience. When I was growing up, my dad taught me how to play badminton as a leisure game. He was confident that I would benefit from it and gave me the support I needed. Today, I am competing at the University level and national level with significant success. If I had not had the push I would not have had that talent developed.

b. It takes time to dissolve one legend and to accept another
 
The book explained why it is was difficult for some argentines to accept Messi as the new Maradona. I find this very interesting because it resonates with how people continue to compare successful people with others who had earlier led in those tracks. There are two lessons that I have learn from this. First, that until we try to create our own brand and expertise it will be difficult to the rated above those who have earlier walked in our path. Today Ghana’s football sensations like Asamoah Gyan are still compared with the standards of Abedi Pele despite the fact that he has surpassed the performance of his predecessor. To gain unique remembrance for our exploits, and for our own identity, we must be the first to lead our track and not to follow some other person’s track.  If however we are unable to create our own track, then maybe we should try to do something different from the earlier blazers of that track. Like Messi continues to emphasize, he does not want to be known as the next Maradona; he wants to be known for who he is; Messi.    

c. Sometimes it is not that we change, but that people change in looking at us differently.

Messi’s father explains that the family’s life had not changed and that rather it is people who looked at them differently. I find this very interesting, especially when I relate it to how I also perceive people who have become successful in life. Our judgments are based on what our perceptions and values are. I have come to realise that on many occasions, I have spoken to people and told them they have changed and they have replied in the negative. I believe that what happens is that our expectations of people begin to change in a particular way once they are elevated and that reflects on how we perceive them.
 
d. In times of success; spare time to share it with those who helped you there.
 
The book presents many instances across Messi’s four Ballon D’Or wins that he decides to refer to his other colleagues; Xavi or Iniesta instead and says they are responsible for his success. As I write this, I am already beginning to create a list of all the key people I have met in my life who have contributed to my development in one way or the other. It is important that I acknowledge and share my joy and success as it opens more doors for people to continue to support my exploits. I see the world as a stage and our characters are only as relevant as the character of others we relate with. This idea of promoting others ahead of yourself is something I am beginning to appreciate. I believe it takes the pressure off us in our quest to succeed. I see it as a modest way of accepting success in our lives. This modesty is something I think has saved Messi the trouble in times when he has not performed so well. Someday, we will have to refer to people who made us great, and as someone who has committed his life to the development of others I will be happy if someone referred to my inputs in their lives as well.
 
e. Stay neutral in the battle of direct powers.  
 
On the chapter that discusses Messi’s dilemma when the Argentine national team was heading to the under 20 world cup as Barcelona was heading to the Champions league qualifiers, the open neutrality of Messi and his behind the scenes diplomacy with his coach is something that I draw important lessons from. Sometimes we are torn between decided which job to choose, which school to attend which co-worker to choose. The decision concerning these things is quite easy when the bus stops with us. But when the decision lies with other powers that are directly related to us, it is better to stay neutral in the open and try to engage in backstage diplomacy; consulting personalities we think have the sort of influence to intervene without jeopardising our relationship with the direct powers involved in the struggle. Guardiola, Messi’s coach at Barcelona, also adopted a strategy that I believe is helpful for leadership. I however find it missing in some of the leaders of society. I have come to identify that many young people are unable to develop in their career because their seniors or bosses are ahead of them are not willing to stick their heads out and speak up for them in times when they are being treated unfairly. As a leader this is something I will have to work in myself.
 
f. Positive discrimination.
 
I have wondered why very important members of society are exempted from the general treatment. Key members of a team are usually exempted from the general treatment given everyone else because it is believed that they give more. One time I asked a football pundit what the implications are if individual players in a team are hailed above the other members because they are perceived as key players. His answer was; “that is the right thing to do. The other players know there is virtually no game without their star player and they are willing to sacrifice their own egos to get that player to shine.”  So the issue of positive discrimination, at least in soccer, works the magic. But I think that it works the magic because the others are willing to accommodate that discrimination. This is something that I think I can learn and use in developing team spirit. Sometimes there is the needed for positive discrimination; the phenomenon where you acclaim the exceptional value of a few without depreciating the value of the others.
 
g. Happiness: to make others happy, you must be happy yourself and vice versa.
 
The first part of this statement is quoted from the book and the “vice-versa” is my own addition. In the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” I picked up the lesson that happiness can be transferred from one to another and that lesson is re-enforced by the statement in this book. But then I think that the equation should go beyond that. It is a reverse process. Whilst we seek to make ourselves happy to transfer it, that happiness cannot last or will be extinguished if the people around us do not maintain a happy demeanour. There is one of my supervisors whose email sign-off reads “Life is best when other people are happy because of you. Be an inspiration and share your smile.” This is a very good sign-off that when seen by others can impact them. I have decided to have one too: “I develop myself to develop others.”          
 
3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?
 
I have been engaged in sports from my early childhood years as a leisure and now in my college years I have taken the game of badminton seriously at the level of university games; playing competitively for my university at the national and international levels. Even though my game is badminton, football is a game I enjoy and Messi is a sportsman whose personality I like; probably because I like his demeanour. The lessons in this book will help me deal with challenges in my sporting life, as well as to deal with general issues in life. The lessons I have drawn here border on how to deal with challenges and setbacks in life, how to manage fame and money, how to keep the family close in times of busy schedules and how to manage controversies. The experiences shared in this book give me better insight into the leadership lessons I have already identified in my earlier readings in the IIGL series.
 
4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.
 
“I owe a lot to my parents and my siblings. If they are OK, so am I”. –Lionel Messi.  
 
Probably this is one of the strong semblance I have with Leo. I am also very attached to my family and care a lot about what they feel about what I do. Even today, I still feel that a great part of my development, I owe to my parents and my siblings. As I noted earlier from the book, I have realised that talent is nothing until it is allowed to fester by the right environment and I believe that the family is key in this.
 
5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

Nothing.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?
 
No. There were no exercises.
 
7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

No.
 
Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 toTen is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read?                           9
B. How helpful were the contents?                          9
C. How easy was it to read?                                     9
D. Would you recommend it to others?                   9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it?     9

Mediation: Skills and Strategies; A Practical Guide

Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The book gives very strong insight into the art of mediation. It is a practice oriented book that derives content from the experience of the writer who himself is an experienced mediator. It starts with an introduction of the reader to the basic principles of mediation; from neutrality through note-taking to summary which the author identifies are the key issues that underlie the success of every mediation. The author explains that even though conflict parties decide to submit their issues to a third party to mediate it does not in anyways suggest that these parties lose authority over the process. The ability of a mediator to get to an agreement depends on the mediator’s ability to sustain the trust of both parties and the ability to understand the issues beyond what is said at the meeting or the words used during the hearing from both parties.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you.  Use personal examples from your own life.

a. Cultural fluency vs. cultural competence

The book explains that cultural competence is the ability to interact with people of different cultures whilst cultural fluency relates to our ability to navigate through the lenses of our culture to understand other cultures as we approach them. When I began travelling outside Ghana in 2009, I was faced with the reality of having to accommodate the views and practices of others who I saw as foreigners. Prior to travelling, I had schooled myself to understand that there were people who believed in other thing different from mine, ate things I did not eat and did things that I did not do. What I had tried to do then was cultural competence and not fluency. Now I realize that I had gone ahead in living and working with those people without really appreciating the reasons behind why they do what they do. I had not attained the level of cultural fluency.

b. Why? Is not a desired question in mediation, instead, what? Can be used.

If I had not read the explanation given by the author, I would have been very confused about the justification for this advice. But after reading the explanation I cannot but agree with the author that the issues that we seek to probe with a “why” usually have judgmental undertones. I had to rehearse to myself a couple of times with the ‘why’ question in order to appreciate the reaction it elicits from the one who is asked that question. I tried experimenting it with an office colleague friend I was conversing with. At every instance of that questions, I realised two things. First, I realised that it took some time for the person to respond to the question. My impression then, was that, the person had to reconcile a lot of issues before answering. Maybe he had to assess whether the information he was given out was suitable for another person to hear and also probably he was concerned if I was trying to the question the rationale behind his answers. This obviously raises the question whether I trusted him or not.

  1. The meaning of a question is best evaluated from the response

During my first year of MPhil studies, one of our lecturers would always give out essays based on long written questions. The class performance for his essays were usually bad. This is because, he was used to putting question marks throughout the scripts; in an apparent indication that the response provided is either inadequate or is deviating from the question. But of course, we wondered: how were we going to give the answer he required? We could not know what he was thinking when he put down the question and as fluid as the subject was, it was possible to venture into areas that were not intended by the lecturer. Today, by reading this except from the book, I realise that it is not enough to throw out a question. It is far better to get feedback to assess whether students really understand the question and appreciate the meaning and the intended question. When I mark scripts of students, I usually chance on a few students whose answers clearly deviate from the issues solicited. But then it also betrays the fact that they were answering the question the way they understood them. The dilemma here is that whilst misunderstanding during mediation can be clarified: I wonder if there is any remedy during an academic process like writing exams. Aside this, it also reinforces my resolve to as much as possible phrase my question in such a way that I minimise the possibility of ambiguity as much as possible.

  1. “Anything you say may be taken down, distorted and used against you in the court of law.”

The book makes an allusion to the statement above and uses it to explain the justification for mediators not to write anything during the preliminary stages of mediation. This teaches me two lessons from this. First, it has given me more insight into why the police advice that people arrested are better off staying silent. I had always wondered what the real meaning of that statement was; and this book has given me insight. Aside this, I feel it is very important that anyone who is chosen to hear other people’s problems should have undivided attention. For this reason, I appreciate how writing down narratives could be a sign that the listener is not really interested. When I speak to students in class, I prefer that they listen to the things I say rather than try to write them down. When I see students writing I feel that they would lose some very important details from my presentation and therefore I can understand how that could translate into the mediation session. Maybe this is also one of the reasons why it is always good to make available presentation slides after you make one; to prevent the audience from writing copiously and risk losing some important detail.

  1. Fairness is best defined by parties and involves principles of equity and of equality.

I am currently undertaking my research project for my master’s degree and as part of my field work, I had to speak to two parties in an ethnic conflict over land. These two ethnic groups had cohabited until some members from one side started encroaching on land belonging to some people from the other. The issue was decided by the courts according to a map that had been drawn by some German colonial masters. After 80 years, the dispute continued and this necessitated the intervention of a mediation committee setup by the Ghanaian government. However, mediation did not succeed because the party who had secured the court decision in their favor were not happy that the mediation committee was considering sharing the land between the two sides when it had been judicially decided as owned by one party. In their words: “if the mediation committee was thinking about a win-win situation it will be unfair.” This is exactly what the point here is all about. Sometimes, trying to attain equality may present characteristics of unfairness. I remember seeing a photo online where three people were at a stadium spectating a football match. They were all of different heights and the shortest of them could not see over the fence to get a glimpse of the action on the field. So the shortest had been given a platform to stand on whilst the others did not have. The caption summarizes the rational being echoed in this book. “Equity is not the same as equality.” I agree, sometimes it is better to choose equity over equality in deciding disputes. I feel it is a fairer strategy based on the circumstance.

f.. Parties give is access to small windows to their life. Let’s not make it big.

A few days ago, one of my students came to me with an issue. She had lent another colleague some money. He had promised to pay her back as soon as possible but she was beginning to get nervous because the semester was about to end she claimed she did not see any urge on the side of the debtor to pay her. She wanted me to impress upon the gentleman to pay her money before the semester ended. When I invited the gentleman I told him that if he confirmed that he owed the lady, then there was no option to paying. For me, I guessed that there could be more to the agreement; as narrated by the lady. Well, when the gentleman came, he confirmed that he owed the lady, but he was tempted to tell me under what circumstance the money was given to him and the terms that had been agreed for the payment. I declined to hear the whole story behind the interaction. I realized that this could open up a can of issues the lady might not want to get others to know. So I did not listen in on that. I was uncomfortable about taking advantage to make the window that my student had given into her life bigger. I don’t know if the other gentleman felt that I was not fair in that action, but I felt that could create an uncomfortable environment. I could be knowing more than I was required to; to do my job.

  1. Parties are masters of their own conflict.

This is a pretty new concept that I think will be helpful for me as I try to learn the art of mediation. Sometimes, I am carried away by the fact that people seek my opinion or help to get them resolve a conflict. The truth is that, it makes me feel like I am responsible for getting them to resolve their dispute. But now I realize that the primary responsibility and power to change things is really in the hand of the parties. What I realize also is that, by adopting the master stand as a mediator, I feel that huge pressure to make sure that their conflict is resolved. This creates a sense of desperation for me and makes me nervous about the outcome of the mediation. Now I think I will be a lot more at ease when dealing with this issues provided I am able to shift the burden of responsibility unto the clients and see myself as a facilitator.    

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

I am in the process of completing my master’s program in peace studies. One of the subjects that I cherish most is the art of mediation. Most of my colleagues who know that I have taken up this academic field try to get me involved in any issues related to dispute. I realise that there is high expectation of me to possess that skill in mediation. This book and its practical steps to mediation comes in very handy and the notes I have made from it will be a quick reference for me. My MPhil thesis is also about a conflict that has been difficult to mediate over the years. I have identified some important ideas in this book that would be helpful for me to answer one key objective in my research; which is to look at other ways to manage the conflict more effectively.

4. Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Mediators aim to listen carefully to understand those speaking.”

I also believe that people come to the mediation table with a lot of emotions and previous pains. When I conducted my field interviews for my master’s degree, I could sense the feeling of bitterness in some of the people that I met. It became clear that, but for the bitterness they would have dropped their entrenched positions. But the bitterness and not them, drives their positions during negotiation.

“As the mediator normalises the client’s position, he enhances their belief that they can solve the problem.” (Haynes 1989)

Such a powerful sense of belief this would provide for parties who may have started suffering from the effects of conflict. Making them know that they are going through a usual process; makes them look less evil and less incompetent. I would definitely feel empowered if I get this understanding as a client to a mediator.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

 “Over time, it has become clear that for mediators as humans, they are arguably incapable of achieving neutrality. They can at best demonstrate impartiality” 

My view here is that there is a very thin line between neutrality and impartiality. Aside that, I also feel that the author did not highlight the fact that neutrality requires no further action of push in changing the status quo. However, impartiality tries to make a push to create a fair balance between parties; even if it means changing the status quo.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

Yes. Effective listening activity: a speaker and a listener. (I did not perform this directly, but I hope that I will practice this with the right setting when I get the people to practice with. The speaker speaks for 3-4 minutes with listener paying attention. Then listener listens with progressive distraction for 3-4 minutes. And then returns back to full attention.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

None

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read?                      8
B. How helpful were the contents?                      9
C. How easy was it to understand?                     8
D. Would you recommend it to others?               9
E. What is the overall rating you would give it?    9

Strengths Based Leadership: Great Leaders, Teams and Why People Follow

 Assessment by Dennis Korbla Amego Penu (Ghana)

 

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

 

The book uses the story of various leaders of corporations to illustrate how leaders can be different and how these strengths can be used to achieve success. The book makes a case for developing a leadership style that is based on an individual’s strengths. It makes the case that, teams are made up of individuals with different capabilities and interests and which are all relevant to the progress of any team project. What is critical is how a leader is able to harness these individual strengths and make it productive.

 2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why?  List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important toUse personal examples from your own life. 

 

I have always been frank with people concerning the things I can do and things I cannot do. Even at work, sometimes there are responsibilities that come with opportunities that I am recommended for. I am quick however, to point out that I don’t think I am fit to do the job. Sometimes this has come at a cost because it means that I would have lost an opportunity to travel or to make some money from the assignment. In fact sometimes I have wondered to myself whether I am really not making so much of a fuss about my weaknesses. After all, those who recommend me for these opportunities are of the view that based on the things they see me do, I can also take up that role. But I end up disappointing them by turning down the opportunity. For me, it is a way of being truthful to myself and the people I deal with about the things I can do and things I cannot do, but I just hope that the people I tell these things would understand it as such. I would rather focus on my strengths and do the best out of it than take up all opportunities that come my way just because I have been offered them.

 

This statement particularly caught my attention because it got me wondering which domain I could place my strength. After some thought, I have a feeling that I am more of a strategic thinker. And to some extent an influencer. Whenever there is a project pending, like in the various model UN conferences that I help organise, I am very involved with the careful planning of the event prior to the conference. Also, I am always preoccupied with things like the rules of procedure and the flow of events from start to finish. Many times, when there is the need to put ideas down on paper, I am the one that is called upon to do that, and I find myself immersing a lot of thought into getting that organised. About being an influencer, some of my colleagues tell me that they are on a project because they see I am involved as well and I really feel good about it. Even though I think I am more of a strategic thinker than an influencer I think the greatest asset a leader can ever have is being an influencer.  

 

  1. In a world where people can buy almost everything with money, it sis the things money cannot buy that makes the difference.

 

I couldn’t agree with this statement more. The big question for me, however, is how to determine what cannot be bought with money. In the book, the reference was to putting smiles on people’s faces as something that cannot be bought with money. I think, identifying the things that cannot be bought with money and working to acquire them can be very helpful. They are long-lasting. Until I became an adult, I took the unity and tranquility in my family for granted. My dad was married to my mum alone and there was not a time that I witnessed any confrontation between them about infidelity or misuse of money. When I was growing up with my siblings, we all lived under the same roof and stuck to the family principles. I took these for granted as well, as if they were common practice everywhere. But now that I am old, I realize that keeping a family intact, loving and united in purpose is not something that comes easily. There are many of my colleagues or students I teach who were being affected by the disunity in their families; despite they came from well-to-do families. Clearly, money could not buy that.  

 

I tried to list some of the people I have helped develop. I could count about six or seven of them that I personally knew and who had told me in one way or another about the impact I had in their development. But I think that Mervyn is right. If we thought about the fact that leaders cannot live forever, then it is clear why it is so important for leaders to immortalise their ideas through their protégé. This is why I have started my own campaign of developing myself to develop others; what I have tagged “#developtodevelop”. I have made it my mission to use the experiences and learning I have acquired throughout my life to help develop other young people coming up. I think that is the best way to impact society, to leave a legacy that others can remember me for.

 

At the time I read this statement, I was preparing for an election in my new academic environment in the University of Antwerp in Belgium. I was seeking a message that fitted my personality and that resonated with my colleagues who were eventually going to be the ones to vote in the election. My colleagues were seventy other students who were coming from various backgrounds and who had in one way or the other had experiences with leadership in their home country. To convince them that I was a good choice therefore, it was important to let them understand that I would get everyone involved in my leadership. So this definition of leadership was one that I found very fitting. In fact it is something I think I believe in personally just that I have not had the right frame of words to capture it the way Warren captures it. This is a definition I intend to carry with me for a long time into my future of leadership. I will add this to the other definition of leadership that I learned in the earlier part of my IIGL series which stated that a leader is someone who would leave his post and it would not be difficult for someone else to take the mantle and be able to use his foundation to develop further.

 

  1. Four basic needs of followers is trust, compassion, stability and hope.

 

It is interesting that these four were realised by the Gallup team as the main needs of followers. But I decided to reason through this and take it a step further by asking myself which of them I thought was the biggest. I have realised that this depends on what the situation is at any point in time. At a time when a group of people seek to fight their way out of a precarious situation, probably hope becomes the biggest ingredient. For instance, when Ghana was fighting for our independence, the charisma that our first president had then was something I think gave a sense of hope to Ghanaians about how things could become better when we were independent. At that, time, I think that the need to trust him was something of little value. Now as an independent country that is troubled by the corruption of some political leaders, I believe that trust has risen to the top of the agenda. Ghanaians are looking for who we can trust. In a scenario such as those of well-established economies or corporations, I believe that hope and trust would not count as much as the need for stability. Among the four, I think that compassion is only needed in instances where the leader is very close to the followers; and this is something I think happens when leading very small groups and where members share their personal issues together. The challenge here is to know which one to maximise at the right time and setting of leadership.

 

  

 

g. Strong teams are committed with their work and at the same time satisfied with their families and personal lives

 

I have a strong believe that strong families make strong leaders and happy families make happy leaders. I grew up from a happy and strong home with lots of support and I think that this has contributed to what I am today. As I grow and take up more leadership roles in life, this is an aspect I intend to emphasise to my followers or the people I work with. Considering that the home or family is the next place a person spends much time in apart from work, I believe that strengthening families should also be a priority for team leaders and business owners.

 3.  How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

 

As I have stated earlier in this book. I was running for an election during the same time I was reading this book. Fortunately I was elected as Chairperson of the Student Committee of the Institute of Development Policy and Management of the University of Antwerp; involving students from different backgrounds with different aspirations. I intend to start applying the lessons learnt in this book to this new role and see how best to make its recommendations practical. I also took the strength finder test and realised that my key strength was as an “Arranger.” I intend to find out what it really means to be an arranger and how much I can achieve with that.

 4.  Quotes:  Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention?  If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

 

“If you don’t have a relationship, you start from zero each time.” Kofi Annan

 

Kofi Annan is a role model. As someone who has led the biggest multinational political organisation, I think that this must have come from years of practical experience.

 5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

 

“The three greatest leaders of the 20th century were Hitler, Stalin and Mao.” Peter Drucker

 

I took interest in this statement because it raises eyebrows. The kind of eyebrows that made the writers reject the notion of leadership that Peter Drucker implied by referring to these three leaders who have come under a lot of criticism from the western world. But I agree with Peter without endorsing in anyway what Hitler for instance did with his leadership. But I think that looking at it purely from the perspective of leadership, these three people were great leaders. If we looked at leadership as getting things done through people; Hitler was a perfect example. He was an excellent influencer. Mao, is the reason China is what it is today. Stalin’s leadership however is one that I find low in the rankings among the three. Especially because his leadership did not prove sustainable since there was a subsequent fall of the USSR. Nevertheless, I think all three of them used their own strengths well in leading at the time they did; especially Hitler, despite the regrettably nefarious effect that leadership had on the world.

 

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete?  If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

 

The book contained a code to take the strengths finder test. I took it and the results were that my strengths were in Arranger, Ideation, Context, Individualisation and Maximizer themes.  

 7.  Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions?  If so, please comment.

 

None.

 

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.  Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read?                            8
B. How helpful were the contents?                           10
C. How easy was it to understand?                            8
D. Would you recommend it to others?                      9
E.  What is the overall rating you would give it?         9