Daniel Unogwu – Assessments – International Institute for Global Leadership

As a Man Thinketh

Assessment by Daniel Unogwu (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea the author is trying to convey in this book is ‘’the power of thought’’ i.e the ability of everyone to think for himself/herself and to create his/her own circumstances be it a favorable one or not. The author tries to let the reader know that a man is the total summation or product of his thought. Also that everyone can through constant positive thinking build for himself/herself a beautiful life. Man is a maker of himself through his thoughts. The ability for man to change his life is embedded in his mind, every man has an equal opportunity to turn his life around as a result of a change mind.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. We are a product of our thoughts.

This is because man is a summation of his thoughts, we can through our minds create any circumstances we so desire, everything that is visible today was once in the mind of someone. What you will be is what you think about the most such as your most dominant thought. Actions stems from thought and our lives are full of actions. Hence, life or living is equal to thought. If gold and diamond found deep within the ground then it means a way out for anyone in need of a total transformation is also deep within, such person must dig deep and bring out that limitless possibilities embedded in every man.

ii. We are creators of circumstances

I am particularly glad about this point because personally after reading books by Napoleon Hill, such as “Think and Grow Rich” and also “Outwitting the Devil,” I came across this same concept and am seeing it here also in “As a Man Thinketh” that a man can change his thought and conversely change his life. Anything we want can be created in our minds and by the law of attraction your dominant, desire or thought will come alive. In Africa, its taking us a whole lot just to generate a new philosophy of thought that a man can be anything he thinks on, or that a man can attract his most dominant thought into reality if he is so inclined and focused.

iii. What we are today is as a result of our past thought.

I truly believe that the future belongs to those who are able to see it in their minds and think it before it happens. Hence, our present conditions/ circumstances are as a result of our past thoughts. If we can’t renew our minds, then we will be caged by the past, our futures are in our minds and our world starts in our mind. Our ability to think outside the box is what makes us masters of our faiths. The idea of Tabula Rasa is the fact that we all came to the world with an impressionable mind, it is over time due to nurture and nature that we develop our mind to any point we desire. Therefore, anyone can be anything via the power of the mind.

iv. There is cause and effect of the mind.

This is true because our ability to think good thoughts makes us do good and bad thoughts results in bad behaviors. The battle of good and evil is actually a battle of the mind. No man can be greater than his mind. A good thought brings peace and joy and bad thoughts brings sadness, sorrows and pains.

v. Our outer self is directly proportional to our inner self.

At every time, we need to purse and to check our thoughts, if our minds and thoughts are correct. Our life will always mirror our mind. If we want to get the best out of life, it starts from within. We must at every turn in our life seek to keep our minds in a state of perfect harmony because the universe will always give you what you most desire. As within so without, law of correspondence is a universal principle that what you see outside is the direct correlation of what goes on inside a man. If the mind is troubled it is highly probable that such person’s environment will reflect his/her troubled mind.

vi. Circumstances does not make a man, rather it reveals man to himself.

This was mind blowing for me, because based on my personal experiences i am aware that most of us have learnt to blame circumstances for our challenges or predicaments, this idea actually spoke directly to me. It got me thinking long and hard about my life, all the time i thought i didn’t achieve some targets because I was not born rich but I am learning and this points strengthens that knowledge for me that i can be what i choose to be and not what circumstances dictate to me. My circumstances is me, hence, I need to change me to change my circumstances. Every day a conscious effort must be made. This can also mean that every man must assume responsibility for his life and destiny having found out that a man’s circumstances can be changed if there is a will to change it, but it must be a deep rooted desire.

vii. A man might not be directly responsible for his circumstances but he sure is responsible for his thoughts.

For me this is one of the highlights of this book. If only people can understand this. It will help millions out of poverty and lack because many of us were born with the mindset of lack, poverty and deprivation. And it crystallizes in our minds that we cannot be greater than our circumstances. I found this to be false as this point says. One might not be responsible for being born poor, but to remain poor or attain status is surely your choice. It changes things for me. It’s a whole new perspective. And I am choosing to make the most out of life by my thoughts and therefore my choices.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

Well, these lessons and ideas would help me create a better world is simple, like Gandhi said, “Be the change you want.” I believe that as I learn to apply these lessons in my daily life it will reflect in my daily interactions with people either at work or church. I currently work in a school and there is no better place to change mindsets and affect a generation positively. I am making it my personal mission to change hearts and minds of all those I meet that circumstances is not the final bus stop, thought is limitless and it can change things for anyone who cares to understand and apply it. I will teach it to as many as possible, via seminars when am invited and via my Facebook page called “The Eaglepreneur” focused on Business, Education, Leadership and Technology. I believe I am the first advocate of change, hence, my mindset of being socially disadvantaged is gradually fading away giving way to a new mind of a champion. All I see around me right now is possibilities and the capacity to change my circumstances. I will also do my best to mentor and coach as many younger people as possible so as to transfer such as I have learned from this text. A better world starts with me.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Circumstances doesn’t make a man but reveals the man to himself.”

I paused when I thought about this the first time; for me it was an epic revelation. I felt like that was talking to me directly, because I am at that point in my life where I am really searching for the secrets to success and a better life. I always thought I had been dealt a wrong deal being born without a silver spoon, but such mindsets have been laid to rest, my commitment to always know what others don’t know has gotten me thus far, I still believe there is still more out there, it can still get better. I have learned from this that what life offers me is not what is important but what I decide to take from life is. My circumstance is me and the key to a lasting change for me is me, all in my mind. A new mindset, a new outlook, a new thought pattern is all I need to Change Me and change my circumstances to something that I desire.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

There was none whatsoever, I totally am at par with what the core idea of the book is and the contents that makes up each page.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

There were no exercises for the reader to do in this book. Thank you.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

I believe all that was needed as regards the title of the book was well covered. I am very much impressed and glad to have obtained this extra knowledge from this book.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

Jonathan Livingstone Seagull

Assessment by Daniel Unogwu (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea the author is trying to convey in the book as I understand it is that people who are different, who strive for excellence, who go against the status quo, or think differently are most times easily misunderstood, but with bravery and perseverance and just enough practice of failure, overtime, such people become masters in their trade and leaders of men and invariably people will learn to recognize success in them, also I think the author was putting forward the fact that the road to success is not without challenges and it is a long and lonely road sometimes but we must learn to follow the path to the end.

i. No matter what the custom or traditions you grow up with that has limited you one way or another you have to strive to be different, dare the impossible and also think outside the box to be able to succeed.

When you grow up like I did without much means and see lots of limitations around you, it takes serious mindset transformation to get you out of such circle, and that’s what I did, I learned to think differently. I knew I was meant for something more, knew I had the brains to excel at any level and I began to work on myself and to study more that all my mates put together, read late night, let go of sports even though I loved it to focus on my books and finally got admission into the university as the youngest in my family. It took some mindset renovations, coaching from my siblings that I can do better and the believe I have always had that I can compete at the top.

ii. What matters to you most might not matter to others.

Many times I often wonder how it is that I am so different in my own thinking from others that grew up in the same barrack conditions that I did. I realized that earlier I had this passion to know more, learn more, be the best, I loved coming tops in class hence I started staying up late at night to study, my siblings will later wake me up or help me clear my books, but they did not discourage me but my friends never understood why I stopped appearing for football games like I used to knowing fully well I was a star in the making, the reason I stopped was this one certain day one of my elder brothers gave me a hard choice of choosing between education and football, seeing that most of our seniors that played the game never went to higher institutions of learning, he told me it would be rather difficult to combine the two, so I chose my books, my friends got angry at me, because they lost matches due to my absence as they would see me carrying my books to go to a secluded place and read for hours, it took them a while before they joined me after they all noticed their own academics needed some work, I had 5 reading peers later on. Sometimes people don’t just see what you see, especially when you have big dreams, it is left for you to stop because of them or push further in achieving your dreams.

iii. No matter how much you think you know, there is still more to know out there such as knowledge is inexhaustible.

Jonathan Seagull was at a point in his life when he felt he knows much but meeting other gulls who have advanced on those things he thought were spectacular made him realized he needs to know more. I formally had this idea that I have read much and wide, but I now know that to live is to keep learning, and I am continuously choosing to be a learner. Great wisdom comes from having a teachable mindset. And I am resolving that I should never come to that point again when I think I have know all I need to know, because to be the best one has to beat the best, to achieve that means one must consciously assume that posture of someone who is willing to learn at every opportunity to improve and to master new things. That’s my new position.

iv. No matter how many times you fail, it is not an excuse to give up on your dreams.

Failure comes to everyone who desires success in life, but those who succeed are those who don’t quit because of failure but rather learn from it, every failure should be counted as a step towards success. Learning to leverage on failure will propel one to success. Failure should never be viewed as an end but a bend. A champion’s mindset is one that does not focus on failure, don’t get disappointed or discouraged by failures, many failures will certainly result in success, when you learn from it and change your approach. Like Albert Einstein said it is insanity to do the same thing same way over and over again expecting different results. When you fail one way you must change your approach for the next move, Thomas Edison and Abraham Lincoln are men we know that has thought us through their story that failing many times is just another way to succeed big if you don’t give up, for me that is a great key to succeeding in every sphere of life.

v. Sometimes great successes lays beyond some great failure, or rather patience has its reward.

In his book “Think and Grow Rich,” Napoleon made us understand that sometimes we need to wait and not be hasty to decide on some things using the story of the man who sold his gold mine to someone else who struck Gold just some feet after digging. Giving up is never associated to greatness. When things are not easy and all seems lost, keep moving forward, Jonathan Seagull was branded an outcast but instead of giving up he went on to further polish his skills and become better than he was. It is said that when the going gets tough, then the tough gets going. Never search for only easy way out, sometimes it’s hard but keep pressing on. When there is failure there could also be success.

vi. Excellence

To attain excellence one has got to put in lots of hours of commitment and hard work to become a master at anything one set his heart to do. Excellence is not cheap, it is attained at a level of so many personal sacrifices. It has been discovered that most top performing athletes put in an average of 10,000 hours of practice to master their game for a 2 minutes or 20 minutes game as the case may be. Hence, it is of utmost importance to consider the long hours that give rise to the magic moment of success. In this book I learnt that as long as one keep putting in more effort in practice and pushing the limits of himself he will attain mastery of anything whatsoever. When one is convinced in his mind that this is the target, next is to put in practice with constant failure and disappointed to keep going on then success is just by the corner. I discovered that excellence is a state of the mind and it should never be compromised, because preparation is key to success.

vii. Limitations are of the mind.

What cannot limit our minds cannot limit us, nothing limits a man like his mind. A man’s mind is where ideas are conceived, purpose is birthed and plans are engineered. A man that wants to succeed must learn to overcome the limitations of his mind and the law of correspondence will cause the universe to begin to work in that man’s favor, opportunities begins to present itself and many doors are opened unto greater challenges. I also picked this most important point that learners are always leaders. He that has begun to learn has begun to lead. Before Jonathan Seagull got to be a master and a teacher he was a determined student. I am learning to unlearn and relearn. This book just came at the perfect moment and has opened my mind to new insights into what am discovering of myself. I have made up my mind earlier this year to read more books this year than I have read all through my life and am still pushing on. It has been a great journey. Thanks to IIGL am having fresh opportunities to read.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

The ideas I have gathered from this book are more than I have written down. But I still hold dear my notes. I will keep putting each idea to the test in my daily living. The idea of seeing what others are not seeing will definitely help me in my business skills, in knowing what to do and having a different perspective to any thing that I find interesting. The idea of that failure is not the end will most definitely enable me reach further into myself, and always strive to do better after any failure and to encourage and teach others this resounding principle, that failure is a pathway to success. I believe these ideas are yet to circulate in this part of the world. Every opportunity I get to speak to people I will Echo this truths. I believe true knowledge sets one free, my mind has been opened and am inspired even more by Jonathan seagull life and I intend to do my best to be the best and show as many people through my blog and pages ways to overcome better people. One better person I believe is one better world.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“Perfection doesn’t have limits.”

This resonated with me because it gave me a great insight never to rest on my oars, to pursue knowledge as long as I live, to better my world anywhere I find myself and to be a shining example of knowledge. I believe this statement should be echoed through out time, no one can attain full perfection, you just have to keep on getting better and setting goals and breaking them. It also reveals to me that knowledge cannot be confined. It is always available to those who seek it.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No, there was nothing I disagree with or am yet to understand. I completely understand the scope of the book. In fact am impressed by the work.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

No, the book did not contain any exercises for the reader.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

Yes, there is something I would like to talk about, In part two, Chiang told Jonathan Seagull just before he vanished to keep working on love. I believe that should be our focus after amassing so much knowledge, the next question should be how do I grow in love for people? No matter how much you have gone in your quest, the ultimate is to obtain love finally. Love for self and love for other humans. Love is the final and most difficult to learn. Hence, love is the crown of knowledge. It takes a man who loves humanity to share his knowledge with others. When you reach perfection which means to keep on learning and as a result you become a teacher of others for me that is most important. Knowledge is meant to be shared as demonstrated in this book.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 9
C. How easy was it to understand? 9
D. Would you recommend it to others? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 9

Keys to Success
Assessment by Daniel Unogwu (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

I believe from the whole book Napoleon Hill did a great job of trying to outline to the reader the true meaning and understanding of the principles of success. He outlined not just a single idea but a collection of keys to help fast track the journey of anyone wishing to reach the top of the success ladder from positive mental attitude, to being optimistic, to mastermind alliance. Hill was able to map out all or most of what is required to succeed based on his experience working so closely over a long period of time with some of the great men of his time. Since I believe keys can unlock great doors the keys that Hill has outlined and so brilliantly explained here in this book will undoubtedly open great doors to success for me and many others I choose to share my experience with if properly applied, this is true because the book covers the major ingredients required for success. Success for me I believe is not just a destination but a journey, I strongly believe Hill did justice in giving the reader all the necessary tools needed to embark on that journey. If each key is taken on seriously then success is within reach.

The seven ideas which were most important to me personally are as follows:

i. Going the extra Mile

Going the extra mile for me really has to do with helping me to set out clearly goals on how much I am ready or willing to contribute to my organisational overall performance. It shows me clearly the benefits of doing so as it makes an employee indispensible and an asset in the sight of management rather than a liability. It also shows me that quality of work service rendered is as important as the quantity of services rendered combined with a good mental attitude it brings about great compensation. I am beginning to on my own implement this tool in my place of work as I have made a personal commitment to be early to work, set goals for each day in the office and even go beyond my set goals daily, also I resolved to put in more working hours, that is by putting in more time working rather than just being at work, closing only and only if I feel satisfied with my days’ work, doing my best to put in more efforts than anyone else and lastly seeing the business from the point of view of an executive rather than an employee.

ii. Mastermind Alliance:

This key is so much relevant today to me today because it formulate every plan I have from now henceforth with anyone I call my friend, partner of even family members. I have always desired such a relationship where like minds converge together for a common goal and set to work with a single purpose of achieving such goal. I have started cultivating this principle having learned it from one of my distant mentors Dr. Strive Masiyiwa, even before I fully grasp the whole picture. I love to work with people of same mental attitude as myself, optimistic and innovative minds who will challenge me to be better than I am and grow. I have learnt through this book to leverage on other peoples experience and knowledge who are members of the mastermind alliance to further develop myself. I am looking forward to mastering my mastermind alliance networks across the globe.

iii. Developing a positive Mental Attitude:

This has been as mind changing for me as anything I have read over the years, this overall concept is not new to me but this book offers a detailed outline on what PMA is and how it can be applied in different scenarios. I have learnt that it is one of the single most important item of the keys, it sets me up on a mindset full of potentials and possibilities, it is also a catalyst for true success in almost any field. This key has thought me to consider my state of mind more than my circumstances.

iv. Using applied faith.

Faith for me is an evidential believe in the viability of a dream or vision irrespective of circumstances and it is required

v. Maintaining sound health.

This idea is quite remarkable for me, because for a long time I have not been exercising regularly and I have been wishing I had the chance to be exercising, due toy busy schedule exercising has become difficult, this is a wake up call for me, I most times sleep late in the night or early the next day because that is the only time I have to read and to write this most times affect me during the day, but after studying this I am making considerable effort to do simple and easy to do exercises that I can do in my house. I truly understand that a sound mind in a sound body is better than a sound mind in an unhealthy body.

vi. Budgeting time and money.

This is an idea that struck me because I have struggled most times to balance my income with my expenditure also how to balance my work time with my personal time. Now I am fully aware I need to invest my time and money rather than spend both needlessly. I also feel from reading this point that I need to plan better on how to utilize my finance and my time as resources to make wealth. I have more value for my time and I am getting more directions on how to spend money smartly. Furthermore, this point has helped to buttress the fact that I need to set clear financial goals as regards my finance, which I have set out to do because I intend to raise a certain capital to launch a little business before the end of this year.
vii. Learning from adversity.

Learning from adversity for me is an example of how great we can be if we only learn to utilize the challenges life throw at us. The word defeat has come to mean what challenges I choose to accept as impossible, but I have discovered that my challenges could also be stepping stones if I decide to look at it from a different perspective, defeat is a way of life so also is overcoming defeat and failure. I now know it all depends on my perception from the mental attitude I channel towards it. I have chosen to look at life with a positive outlook, accept the challenges that come, overcome them and learn from them and do better to be better.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and if so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

The combination of the 17 keys exposed here by Hill is a master key to success and it only takes full application and desires to actualize any desired result the reader may wish to. As for me I have resolved to personally utilize these keys any opportunity I get so as to put them to the test. This book is a turning point for me, I make an effort to apply what I read if not my study becomes a waste. My finance is now going to be in check, my personal well being will be a priority, I have resolved to form alliances with friends of like minds from all around the world, more so I will use these principles to teach others and counsel as many family and friends and even students I come across because I have realized some key knowledge is missing in our society today as our education is not total, I will develop a medium to communicate mental and financial education which is what we sorely lack in these parts as well as leadership skills. I believe a true leader must lead with knowledge and I believe I will be among the leaders of my generation hence, any keys I am able to perfect will be for the overall good also of any one I come in contact with.

4: Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

Yes there is, I particularly feel drawn to this quote below.

“If you would plant for a day plant a flower, If you would plant for years plant trees, if you would plant for eternity plant ideas.”

I believe this summarizes the stage in which our generation is tilting towards and that is the fact that ‘ideas rule the world!’ An idea in the mind of someone has always been the basis for the milestone revolutionary changes in science, medicine, technology etcetera. Ideas are world transforming if they are good enough, by ideas lots of people have changed the world in spectacular ways. What I found out is that your ideas can be the keys to unlock great wealth or success for you if it is utilized properly. Any idea generally that has the capacity to affect positively the lives of people in a large number has the capacity to make anyone rich and famous.

“Wealth might be forgotten, influence can be weakened but ideas that are positive can outlast and outlive the owner to generations unborn. Albert Einstein theory of relativity is still used as the basis of many scientific and technological breakthroughs even today, the Wilbur brothers’ idea on defying gravity and flying still outlive them and it’s still shaping the world to date.”

For me this quote captured what I feel it’s the most important thing on earth to leave behind an impactful legacy to as many people as possible and that is my heart for the world, to be able to champion a cause that would last long after I take a bow, leaving a positive legacy I feel is the only lasting contribution we can do for humanity and to be immortal is to be full of ideas.

“Tangibility is a product of contemplation, everything physical was once an idea in the mind of someone like a mental picture. By ideas, planning, and proper executions such is made manifest.”

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

I believe I fully understand and grasp the whole book. I hope to put the whole keys to good use to make myself better and the world a better place.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book contains so many exercises in form of commitments by the reader and to the best of my ability I have done justice to them. I have completed them and I find most of them very useful, relevant and even helpful to me personally.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

What I would love to comment on is the fact that I was able to spot a difference between master mind alliance and teamwork and have resolved to put both to good use in my career and life goals. It is evident both concepts are alike and of great importance to the reader either separately or combined and if put to good use both can be a great force on which great things can be achieved especially when it concerns working with others. Whereas mastermind alliance is a group of similarly minded people deliberately chosen or selected to work together upon agreement to achieve a common goal beneficial to all parties involved, teamwork on the other hand can be people of different desires, temperaments, goals etc who are working together either deliberately of out of necessity to get a result. I think mastermind alliance is an updated, vigorous and better form of teamwork where all members contribute willingly and are ready to share in losses as well as gains or profits because they are all equally invested.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor.

How to Win Friends and Influence People
Assessment by Daniel Unogwu (Nigeria)

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey in the book?

The main idea as I understand it from the book by the author Dale Carnegie is to show readers the way to relate and get along with people in everyday business and social contacts. The author believes that dealing with people is probably one of the most difficult things to do and do successfully owing to the fact that people can be ultimately different and emotional hence, will not always agree with your own view or move along with you on every matter, as a result you have to possess some skills or knowledge in dealing with such situations. The Author also believes that no matter the clime or society or profession it is of paramount importance to learn to influence and relate with people in such places. The author I believe in writing this book had hoped to give people the sense and need to relate better with each other and thus, help to strengthen human relations and drive productivities of economies and businesses the world over. We all have an inert ability to be friendly if only we are willing Carnegie believed and this will go a long way in helping us should we choose to cultivate and develop these abilities as it relates with people.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List the seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

i. Appreciation:

I am discovering through this book and by practical application at the office where I work. The amazing power of appreciation and how it can transform and influence people around you. I just discovered that appreciation unlocks gifts and friendliness in people you never dream of possible. It also allows for more connection and less condemnation. I believe it is more easier to appreciate people than to condemn. Sometimes we just can’t see beyond ourselves, like Benjamin Franklin’s motto. “I will speak no evil of any man,” is becoming more real to me, I try most times now to bridle my tongue when someone get me angry, it’s not easy but am beginning to get the hang of it and I intend to use it to the fullest, only yesterday I was sensing a message to a Graphics designer who did a poor job for my office and just as I was about to send the text I remembered this lesson and I had to appreciate his work first and tell him I don’t blame him, but I will need him to make some few corrections and is not his fault. And it worked. Personally I have seen that criticism and a lack of appreciation diminishes productivity and innovations as a result I have resolved to try a new approach anytime I want to criticize rather I pause and think. And now I learned to say well done, good idea before I even criticize.

ii. Importance:

All men have an insatiable need for recognition and acknowledgment. We want to be recognized and respected. This is not a bad need in itself as it can also be a springboard of motivation but it becomes a problem from my understanding when we allow it to consume us. I understand it is natural to want to be recognized but it should not be put in front of the need to impart others. The feeling of importance I believe perhaps could be the underlying reason why one civilization will topple or conquer over another, even though it is not very obvious it is important to note how one civilization suddenly surpasses another in arms, population of even technology and the next thing that happens is war, all in the bid to get recognition and importance. As a result of this I feel one of the best out of people is to learn to recognize what people truly want and know how to give it to them. This one simple fact breeds influence.

iii. Criticism is not the best.

Criticism I have realized both by studying and observation from my life and even from work doesn’t always bring out the best in people. Even though the main aim of criticism is to correct, it does not always turn out that way because the person being criticized often times comes out hurt, defensive and fearful. This happens because such criticisms are usually destructive instead of criticism. In my place of work I have seen colleagues criticized publicly in the presence of other staff members and instead of them improving they become resigned and try to avoid such situations entirely instead of working on the situation they go around it to avoid such bitter experience. It is true that a positive or constructive criticism can lead to self improvement but from my study Carnegie pointed out clearly that some criticism makes a person defensive and hence looses the essence of the criticism in the first place and instead of such a person to become better they start trying to justify themselves. This is the case because the person’s pride is hurt. In some cases the person also start criticizing others and lashing out. One of the dangers of destructive criticism I have learned is that it breeds resentment and I know that nothing positive can come out of a feeling of resentment. Resentment can blind a person and derail you from your goal or focus. The long and short of this point is that I have learnt to be more careful when criticizing that’s if I have to do it at all and be mindful because I have flaws too.

iv. Genuine interest in people.

Some sales people believe this to be the best form of trait for a master sales person. Your ability to generate genuine interest in a customer and identify his or her want to be able to initiate a sale or close a deal. To succeed in life and business one trait we must all developed and cultivate is interest in people. Again I understand very clearly that people show interest in you when you show interest in them. Recently I find myself thinking of family and friends I have not spoken to for long then I go ahead and recharge my phone and reach out to know how they are doing and even recently I seem to call my dad more something that usually takes me months to do. Now we have conversations on phone and ask how our day has been and he also calls me back more frequently these days, every week these days.

Since people are naturally interested in themselves you have to show interest to generate interest and law of attraction holds true. You show interest you get back interest. Also once we are genuinely interested or concern about others then it reduces the need for needless criticism or the need to put others down. Also worthy of note is that people respond to stimuli you show care and love and you get same in return. Showing genuine interest in people could also mean being able to find a common ground with someone else so as to develop a mutual and beneficial relationship. I have discovered by this study also that it is not right to always put myself first but to learn to consider the other person or persons involve. To deliberately see people differently without judgment or evaluation, also to be open minded. This lesson I must comment is difficult but I can see the huge potential it possess.

v. Smile.

A smile disarm even the most heated of situations. It can set at ease the most apprehensive and even diffuse a tense situation. Now I love to smile naturally, people even go as far as telling me I smile too much and they love my smile. Having learnt what I learnt from this book I think am going to continue smiling for a long time. A smile for me is about controlling your inner environment and not allowing situations make you loose control. It helps you to see things in a new perspective because it helps you to relax and feel better about yourself therefore, thinking things through. A smile I feel also gives you hope that a situation is not hopeless, it helps to brighten your mood in a challenging situation. I think smiling in the face of difficulty is a show of strength. An indication that we are ready to battle and face what comes our way. Knowing fully well that a man is not his situations but the situation a product of the man, as a result I have simply learnt that a smile is the first step to helping yourself out of a depressed and emotionally unpalatable situation. I have learnt to smile through it all.

vi. Be an exceptional listener.

It is most important to contribute to any conversation and as for me I sometimes think I talk a lot during a conversation especially when it’s about a topic I care about. But fundamentally I have also learnt from this study that it is even more profitable to listen. And also that it is a very important personality trait because it is important to the other party that you listened to them. Listening is not a passive duty but an active one hence, it takes more to listen than to speak. Listening I discovered involves the mind and the senses as much as reading or talking. When you listen to someone speaking it gives such a person a sense of value and worth. First, that what he or she is saying is important and second that the person is worth listening to.
Listen helps to fashion a kind of bond between the speaker and the listener, it helps to resolve conflict and disarm an aggrieved party. To be a good negotiator, politician or salesperson you have to be a good listener. For when you are a good listener then you can detect what the speaker is feeling, what the speaker wants or needs as the case may be allowing you to be able to give the person a sense of self importance should the need arise. All men love it when they are being listened to, hence, we must make it a duty in transforming this world by using and cultivating this fundamental and important human relation tool. This can be applied at all levels.

vii. Avoid arguments.

Let me begin this point with a confession. I can remember countless times when I was much younger when my elder brothers would say to me “you argue a lot” I just go about thinking they are the ones who don’t listen. I have always liked to drive home my point and in so many points as I can muster. But reading this portion of this book gave me a new sense of understanding that it is pointless most of the time to argue. I pride myself in feeling I know things ordinary folks don’t, but now I understand better that argument does not make for a good conversation and that most times when we engage in arguments or let it go wrong have nothing to lose but our pride. I feel it is important to only correct or interject when we can do it diplomatically. Direct confrontation or correction sometimes does not achieve the desired result hence, we make enemies rather than friends. This point is particularly important to me because I am guilty of this but am making a commitment to watch it and wait whenever I feel the need to argue and also not try to be right all the time.

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? If so, how?

These ideas will be of tremendous help to me in my work and social life and hopefully when I start running my own business. I will carry each of these principles as some of my core values for my company. In respect to where I currently work I feel the need now more than ever to pause and think before I criticize or in some cases when I hastily do criticize I regret it and look for ways to amend my ways. On a more serious note my internal dialogue on interpersonal relationships and relations with colleague is getting better. I always talk to myself now not to judge too harshly and not to criticize openly even though many opportunities have arisen for such. I try my best to keep quiet, it’s not easy but I know it’s better to avoid confrontations that are unnecessary.

As regards to my social life. I am now in a state where I see clearly my past errors. One thing I do now I still try to smile more even in difficult situations. When am low on finances or not too happy about a family situations. I also try to improve on my appreciation of people and things. I am also developing a keen interest in retaining names of people as I have learnt that everyone including myself is more interested in his or her own name. I meet new people as I work with the front office hence I try to put all I learn to practice, recently a customer even told me she liked me, that I was very diplomatic in answering her questions. I am good at recalling faces but I am still working on my ability to retain names. And now I don’t try to win every argument neither do I argue a lot anymore. My relationship is improving too because I put myself in the other person’s shoe.

4. Quotes: Are there any statements which the author made that particularly got your attention? If so, please quote them and comment as to why they were important to you.

“A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.”

I particularly love this quote because it addresses the issue of making men like you by genuinely showing them you are their friend. It gives me clarity as to how men prefer the soft and gentle approach rather than rash and arrogant approach.

“Many people will call a doctor when all they want is an audience.”

This quote is important to me because it highlights the fact that sometimes people don’t know what they want or get sick because they can’t find a single individual that will just listen to them. Many cases of depression can be avoided just by talking and just by listening. This is vital Al we must learn to listen to people and not just condemn but hear them out.

“To be interesting you have to be interested.”

Wow, what you give is what you get. Law of cause and effect. If you show concern you get interest. People only natural inclination towards a conversation is themselves. Hence, if you want to sound interesting also put in effort to listen to the next person genuinely.

“Every person I meet is my superior in some way.”

We cannot know everything, no man is an island of knowledge. One way or the other we have something to learn from every individual we come across. The proud notion that we are superior is good but everyone has strengths and weaknesses, hence we must acknowledge our weaknesses and the strength of others.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

No, there was no foreign concept that I did not understand. I am quite OK with the book.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete? If so, did you complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

There was an exercise or questionnaire at the end for husbands and wives to answer. I did it to the best of my ability as it relate to my relationship. Hoping to put each question to practice when I finally get married. It was quite helpful.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

No please. I am quite satisfied.

Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10.Ten is good and one is poor.